3 weeks later

Rosalie

My mind was a complete blur lately. I was starting to feel more like myself, but I was still struggling to do too much without getting exhausted.

The weather was warm today but breezy, so Esme said it was okay for me to go for a little walk around the grounds. Esme was the only one home with me at the moment as Carlisle was at work and everyone else was at school. They had started bringing work home for me to do this week as I'd missed a lot of school, but I was finding it really difficult to focus.

Esme supported me to walk to the river that ran alongside the house, and we sat down on the grass together. I was getting much better lately at walking longer distances and being stable on my feet. It was nice to be able to get outside and get some fresh air.

I was still quite chesty, but I was able to bring most of the phlegm up by coughing now which was making things a lot easier.

I was struggling with the feeding tube. I had been so disoriented and sick with the pneumonia that I couldn't really think about anything else, but I knew I had gained so much weight. I felt so heavy in my body, and I absolutely hated the feeling of it. I knew Carlisle was mostly sticking to feeds during the nights to try and make it easier for me, but I was really struggling not being in control of it.

My hands itched to just pull it from my nose. It was uncomfortable and a constant reminder of how fat I was getting. I could only imagine what my mother would think of me if she saw me now. She'd definitely not let me get tube fed. She'd think the Cullen's were insane.

"Where are my parents?" I broke the silence abruptly. Esme had been watching a family of ducks on the water but slowly turned to look at me.

Her eyes grew sad, and she pondered for a few minutes before she spoke. "Rosalie…"

"They don't want me, do they?" I already knew what she was going to tell me. It had been weeks and I hadn't heard anything. My mother knew where the Cullen's lived. She would have come and pulled me from this nightmare by now. They had abandoned me because I was fat and couldn't bear to look at me. They were ashamed to have a daughter like this – why couldn't I be perfect?

Esme closed her eyes briefly and took my shaking hand in hers. "I'm so sorry, Rosalie. Your mother has officially abandoned you. We have filed for adoption…we wanted to talk to you about it but you were so poorly."

Adoption. The Cullen's had filed for adoption? Adoption for me? I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe. What did that mean for me? What would happen to me if I lived permanently with the Cullen's? There was no escaping the watchful medical eyes of Carlisle; no opportunity for me to become perfect. They were stripping it away from me. I would keep gaining and gaining weight and Emmett wouldn't like me anymore.

Esme pulled me into her arms and held me close as the tears streamed down my face. It made it even worse. The Cullen's were so lovely. They were what I imagined a loving family to be. I had craved the love and attention they were giving me from my parents my whole life but now that I had it, I was petrified. I wanted to be part of the Cullen family so desperately but at the same time I was so terrified of what would happen if Carlisle kept 'treating' me. I wasn't sick. I didn't need to be healed. There was no way for me to escape it. When I was at the Cullen's, there was always someone there watching me.

Esme moved the hand that had instinctually rose to the tube in my nose and gently stroked my thumb. "Everything will be okay, Rose. It will."

We sat for a while, neither of us wanting to speak. Deep down, I wanted the Cullen's to adopt me. I wanted to feel like I had a home. I felt safe with them even though I was terrified of gaining weight. I couldn't understand why they thought I was so unwell. The only good that could come of it is that if I gained weight and appeared healthy to the Cullen's, they would then stop being so protective of me and I would be able to focus on losing the weight. I would need to be smart so that they didn't find out, but I could do this, no matter how hard it would be.

We went back to the main house after a while. Esme spoke about her progress with the facility as all of the patients had been discharged now and Jasper and Emmett had been working to clear out all the furniture. Esme had settled on turning it into a smaller version of the main house and was so excited about it. She spent most of the days talking about it.

The days were always slow and difficult. I wasn't able to do much and wasn't allowed to be

left alone. Everyone's main focus always seemed to be on making me better.

When everyone got home from school, Esme suggested we go out and watch a film. I wouldn't have been a fan of going to the movies before, but I'd been stuck in this house for so long with people constantly watching me that it sounded like a good idea.

I was worried about being seen in Forks since being at the Cullen's – mostly because I was worried about people from school seeing how fat I'd gotten and them looking at the feeding tube. Thankfully, we were going out of town so least I wouldn't know anyone.

I went in the car with Emmett, Alice and Carlisle. Emmett had offered to drive so I was sat in the back with Alice. The others went in Edward's car.

I was a little reluctant to be in the car with Carlisle because I knew he would be watching me intensely. He always did; more so than the others. He was medically trained to catch even the slightest thing that may have been off with me and that's what scared me.

When we got to the movies, I was quite self-conscious waiting in the lobby whilst Carlisle collected our tickets. It was fairly busy, and I was trying not to look at people as I could feel their stares. It wasn't very often that you would see someone with a feeding tube in public, I guess. Thankfully I had convinced Esme that I didn't need the wheelchair. Walking still made me a little unsteady but I was determined to keep going.

Carlisle came back to join the group with a small smile on his face. "I managed to get us a private screening."

I nodded and smiled slightly. Nothing was out of the question when it came to the Cullen's.

It was nice having a private screening because it meant I wouldn't have to worry about being stared at the entire time.

The movie was quite enjoyable, and it was nice to just be able to spend some time outside of the four walls I'd grown to know so well over the last couple of weeks.

The rest of the evening passed easily, and I found myself feeling a lot better mentally than I had been for a while.