6 months later

Rosalie

It had been 6 months. I was officially a member of the Cullen family following my adoption and was proud to call myself a Cullen after coming to terms with the fact my biological family didn't want me. The Cullen's loved me, and I was glad I had them as my family now. A lot had happened in the time that I had met them.

I was back in school now. Unfortunately, I'd fallen quite behind with my illness and was redoing some of my classes. I had heard rumor's that my biological parents had moved back to Maryland, and I hadn't spoken to them since my mother had decided to start the adoption process with the Cullen's. I was hurt by this. Even though they had abandoned me, they were still my parents and my heart longed for them sometimes. Thankfully, I had a loving family with the Cullen's, and I was grateful for all they had done for me since I'd lived with them.

That's why it was so hard to do what I was doing.

My eating disorder had relapsed.

I had eventually accepted that I had an eating disorder – or so the Cullen's had thought - and I worked hard to come off the feeding tube. I'd been off it for nearly 4 months now and I was in sole control of my fluid and food intake. It took a lot for the Cullen's to trust me, but Esme and Carlisle slowly began to let me have time to myself whilst the others had been in school. Eventually, everyone trusted me enough to not worry that I was going to sabotage my recovery.

I had played the game well. You just had to pretend that you're well enough, so everyone stops focusing on you. That's the only way I was able to keep them from figuring out what I was doing. I didn't have an eating disorder, I just needed to be thin. I needed to be perfect, and eating would prevent me doing this.

Unfortunately, I was living in a house full of vampires, and it was exhaustingly difficult to hide things from people who were so observant. It had taken me a long while to process that my new family were vampires. It hadn't taken Emmett long to accidently slip up and for me to put the pieces together. I had noticed their odd differences but had always been too out of it to look further into it. I wasn't afraid of them. They had done so much for me, and I had never seen them as a threat. In fact, they were the opposite, so I wasn't sure why Emmett was so adamant that I should've been more scared.

Either way, I wasn't scared of any of them, but I was confused on what it meant for the future. I wanted to spend my life with Emmett – I loved him so much, but I struggled to wrap my head around the thought of becoming a vampire. My worry was never being able to move forward; to never change; to never grow old or have children of my own…but at the same time, the Cullen's were all so perfect and I couldn't help but think that perhaps I would finally feel perfect if I was to become a vampire. Emmett tried to avoid having this conversation with me every time I brought it up, so I just kept the musings to myself. I had no idea what he thought about me becoming a vampire, but I was finding it hard to accept that I would continue to age and grow old without Emmett by my side.

I'd discovered that Edward was able to read minds; that Alice could see the future and that Jasper was able to control emotion. I was thankful to also discover that only Jasper's power worked fully on me. For some reason, Edward really struggled to read my thoughts and he told me it was like I had put walls up to stop anyone getting in. Alice's visions for my future were blurred and she couldn't always pinpoint what was going to happen to me.

I was overly cautious to make sure that my plans were ever changing and that I hid what I was thinking around Edward. Jasper's gift wouldn't cause too many problems for me.

Edward and Bella had just gone with Renesmee to see Charlie – Bella's dad – for 6 months. I'd also discovered Renesmee was their daughter which wasn't really a shock considering how similar they looked. Renesmee was able to reveal her thoughts to people by touching them and Bella was a 'mental shield' meaning as a human, Edward wasn't able to read her mind, and now as a vampire, she was able to expand her shield to protect others from mind control.

It was a lot to wrap your head around, but I feel I was adjusting well to all the new information. After all, my life couldn't get anymore complicated surely.

I had fallen back somewhat into my old life now that I was physically not so weak. I still felt like there was something off about my heart and lungs – they didn't feel as strong as they used to, but thanks to Carlisle's feeding program since I first met him, I was now a 'healthy weight'. I was working on changing that because actually I was so overweight and fat, and Emmett was fortunately quite oblivious to what I was doing.

It was lunchtime and I was sat at the table in the cafeteria with Alice, Jasper and Emmett. They were keeping up their human appearances and pretending to eat the school lunch.

I was more than capable of doing the same. I swirled the food around on my plate to make it look like the volume was reducing. I was able to drop a few bites into my lap and into my drink when nobody was looking. That was the thing about people thinking you were recovered – they no longer intently focused on you as they weren't that concerned. This allowed me to get away with a lot of things. I was able to eat less and move more and I was taking a cocktail of over-the-counter medication I'd been able to get from out of town. It also helped that Carlisle was the only one around now with Edward gone, who I had to work harder to convince I was fine because of his medical knowledge.

I knew I'd lost weight. Unfortunately, I wasn't allowed to weigh at the Cullen's, but I could tell by my clothes. I always made sure to wear baggier clothes to hide the weight loss. Emmett was a little harder to convince as we were in a relationship and lived together in the small home that used to be the facility, but he was quite oblivious to human sickness.

When the school day was over, I said goodbye to Emmett and my siblings as I told them I was heading for the library. This was a weekly occurrence – an excuse that I used to say I was catching up on my schoolwork. Instead, I was using this time away from the Cullen's to exercise to make sure I didn't gain weight.

My biological mother's voice always rang in my head as a constant reminder of how imperfect I'd gotten. Eat less, move more. Keep reaching for perfection. She would be physically sick at the sight of me now.

My goal had been for the Cullen's to trust me, and they did, which meant I would soon be perfect, and everything would be right in the world.

I could do this.