Hmm... Long time no see?
Well, chapter 84 is here... Enjoy!
"Angelina... please," begged Harry.
"You cannot request me to skip training sessions, Harry... Everyone else is training as a team," replied Angelina, authoritatively.
"You have to understand, Angelina... This is really important," retorted Harry, with a grin on his face.
"Harry... I cannot..." began Angelina and took a pause. "You're one of the seniors in the team. Think about what the younger players will think if I start picking players who don't even show up for training," she said.
"Harry's the best player in his position in our team, by a huge margin," chimed in Katie and got a glare from Angelina in response.
"I'm going to come for the training sessions... Just not all of them," replied Harry. "And this is only for the next few weeks," he added. "Professor White does not want me wasting time with quidditch. I have managed to convince him to let me continue to play, provided I ditch a few of the training sessions," he finished.
"That... is scandalous... He can't make you do that, Harry," remarked Katie.
"Angelina... please, just for a few weeks?" repeated Harry.
"Fine... Fine, you can skip some training sessions. But if I see a drop in your performance, or if I ever feel you are taking advantage of this exception, you are out of the team... Got it?" remarked Angelina.
"Thank you... Thank you so much... You are the best... I won't let my performance drop... Never," exclaimed Harry, ecstatically and dashed away for his session with White.
Katie chuckled and glanced at Angelina. "You are not seriously thinking about dropping him, are you? You were scaring him," she remarked. Angelina once again glared at him and Katie's jaw dropped.
"You can't drop him... We will lose, for sure..." began Katie, but Angelina cut her off.
"I can't treat him any differently than I would the rest of the team," sighed Angelina.
"But..." began Katie, shocked, but didn't say anything further.
"This year, Harry hasn't been fully focused on his training anyway... I'm glad that at least this time, he told me up front," added Angelina.
Harry knew that it was going to be a difficult conversation with Angelina. In fact, Harry was distraught when White told him to give Quidditch a break. But, he had no choice. It was really important that he gave more time to his sessions with White, especially now that Voldemort knew about Harry's involvement in his plans to conquer Europe getting spoiled.
Harry reached White's office in a hurry. He was late for the session. The moment he walked in, he found the office empty. Harry's eyes immediately fell on the suitcase that was lying on the ground. It still amazed him, after all this time training with White, how a suitcase could contain an entire world inside it. Things like this blew his mind time and again about the magical world. There was always something more magical than anything Harry could imagine.
Harry walked inside the suitcase and closed it behind him.
"You're late," came a voice from a few feet away.
"Sorry, Professor White... I was speaking with my quidditch captain about missing some training sessions," replied Harry as he walked down the entrance of the suitcase.
"Have you been following your training regimen?" asked White the moment Harry came face to face with him.
"Yes" replied Harry.
"And what about the potions?" asked White.
"Yes," replied Harry.
"You haven't had any more visions since then, right?" followed up White.
"No, no more visions," replied Harry. After a moment's silence, Harry continued. "Actually, I have noticed something since that night," he began. "I can't really explain it. But I have felt this silence since that night, I feel a lot calmer," remarked Harry. "It's like You-know-who has completely shut me out," he added.
"The Dark Lord knows what you have been doing. Your days of spying on him have come to an end, Mr Potter," replied White, calmly. After a moment, he continued, "And this is just the beginning. We have to be careful, for he is capable of a lot of things that we can't comprehend," he added.
"I'll be careful, Professor," said Harry, confidently.
The session began quite soon with Harry and Professor White duelling out against each other. Unlike many of their practice duels of the past, the ones they were having in recent training sessions were designed for a different purpose. It wasn't to get Harry used to different types of combats, but these duels were meant to tire Harry out. White and Harry would be at each other, with a series of alternating offensive and defensive bouts of spells with neither trying to outdo the other. And right when Harry wouldn't expect it, White would try to penetrate Harry's mind. Harry was getting better and better at blocking the unexpected attacks but White always had the last laugh, for he was much better at keeping concurrent attacks than Harry was at defending just one.
Harry experienced these sessions in a very different way than he had done in the past. These sessions took a lot more out of Harry than ever before. They were designed to take every ounce of everything Harry had, mentally and physically. And White made sure he did just that.
It had been a while since the students were back in Hogwarts. Harry came back to the Gryffindor common room late that night. In the past couple of weeks, his late evening expeditions to the chamber of secrets had increased manifold. Every day, he found himself escaping to the chamber, the safest place he could think of to continue his training regimen in protecting his mind from outside forces. Ever so recently, Harry had been criticised heavily by White while he attempted to navigate the world of Legilimency. And Harry was determined to get himself better equipped at defending the threat Voldemort posed, now that the truth was out.
As Harry, hidden by his invisibility cloak entered the common room, as quietly as he could, his eyes fell on the only person in an otherwise empty room. After a moment's thought, Harry walked over to her and took off his invisibility cloak. The sound of his footsteps had already alerted Hermione to glance in his direction. The moment Harry took off his invisibility cloak, the expression on Hermione's face turned from a curious one to one of surprise.
"Harry," called out Hermione, faintly.
"Hi, Hermione... You're up late," remarked Harry as he sat down beside her.
"I could say the same about you," chuckled Hermione, in response. "I was just revising Arithmancy," she added. Harry responded with a smile.
"Where were you at midnight?" asked Hermione, curiously. "The room of requirement?" she added.
"Uh.. no, not the room," replied Harry.
Hermione stared at Harry for a few seconds before replying, "You were not with Professor White, your session with him got over before dinner, I thought," she remarked.
After a few seconds, Harry spoke up. "Well, I suppose I could tell you where I was," he began. "A few months back when you and Ron caught me coming out of the room of requirement, I decided not to use it any more for my... personal escapades," remarked Harry, as Hermione stared at him keenly. "Turns out there is one more place in this castle, that I could frequent, without anyone disturbing me," remarked Harry, with a glint in his eye.
"I don't understand... What is this place?" asked Hermione.
"It might sound a bit crass, but I have gotten used to it now... It's the chamber," replied Harry, chuckling.
"What?" gasped Hermione, a little louder than she meant to. "You can't possibly be doing that," she added.
"I am, Hermione," chuckled Harry. "It is still there in the castle, and I don't think anyone else here knows Parseltongue, do you?" he remarked.
"That... I don't believe..." began Hermione, stuttering. "Wow," she sighed, finally, after a few seconds. Harry shrugged in response.
"I saw you going out today," remarked Hermione after a few moments. "You were a bit clumsy with that cloak," she added. Harry stared at her, a little taken aback.
"I'll be more careful, next time onwards," responded Harry, with a grin.
"You should be..." retorted Hermione.
A couple of minutes of silence lasted between the couple, in which, Harry scooted a little closer to Hermione and Hermione proceeded to take his hands into hers.
After a while, Hermione spoke up. "You have been acting a little different, recently," she said as she glanced at him.
"We are back to this conversation?" chuckled Harry in response. "Haven't I been acting strangely all year?" he added.
"No, no, I don't mean it that way... You have actually looked much better recently," remarked Hermione. "You look relaxed and there is this sense of cheerfulness around you," she added.
"I do?" retorted Harry, curiously.
"Hmm... hmm..." hummed Hermione in response. "And for a change, you have told me one of your little secrets," she added.
Harry grinned widely and rested his head on Hermione's shoulder. "I do a feel different," he remarked, softly.
"Different about?" retorted Hermione, in a whisper.
"About a lot of things..." replied Harry, vaguely. After a couple of minutes of staying that way, Harry lifted his head from her shoulder. "You look like you want to say something," he remarked staring at her eagerly.
"Nothing... It's nothing," replied Hermione.
"Come on, Hermione... you can ask me anything," remarked Harry, with a smile.
"You know I have lots of questions..." sighed Hermione. "And you promised me that you'd open up to me when you're ready," she added. "I'm waiting for the day," she remarked, with a sigh.
"What is it that you have been meaning to ask me, now?" retorted Harry, warmly.
"Will you answer me if I ask you about it?" asked Hermione. Harry shrugged in response. "Harry... it's about the evening when Barty Crouch Jr attacked Daisy," began Hermione. Harry nodded in response and she continued, "You said, Dumbledore visited you that morning. He told you that neither Ron nor I was in any danger, that Daisy was the real target. He wanted to set a trap for whoever it was going to attack her," she remarked. Harry stared at her curiously. He could almost sense where she was going with this. "Why did Dumbledore come to you? Why would he tell you the plan and not the others in the Order?" she asked keenly.
Harry stared at her for a few seconds before responding with a grin. "I don't want to lie to you..." he replied, after a few more seconds.
"You can always tell me the truth," suggested Hermione, cheekily. But Harry remained silent in response.
"At this point, I don't even know why I'm keeping all of it a secret," remarked Harry after a minute or two, as Hermione stared at him surprised. "I'm not sure what the right time would be, to tell you both everything..." added Harry.
"Maybe there is no right time, Harry... You know Ron and I will always be with you, no matter what. Why don't you let us help you go through... whatever it is you are going through," remarked Hermione as she gripped his hands tightly.
"I know... and I'll forever be grateful for that," smiled Harry in response. And somehow, he couldn't bring himself to let everything out, yet again.
"Oh look, everyone! His highness has graced us with his presence," chuckled Katie the moment her eyes fell on Harry, walking towards the Gryffindor team, who had already started their practice.
"Oh, shut up, Katie," retorted Harry, chuckling.
"Hey Harry," greeted Colin as he came flying down.
"Hey Colin, how is it going?" retorted Harry with a smile.
"I thought you weren't going to be joining us today," remarked Angelina.
"I wasn't going to. But Professor White decided to keep our session after the quidditch practice and insisted that I spend some time playing quidditch," replied Harry cheerfully.
"That's nice of him to do," remarked Katie. "We have our seeker back," she chuckled, faintly glancing at Colin.
"Hey... I'm right here," retorted Colin.
"Enough with the chatter... get back to your positions everyone," announced Angelina and with that, the quidditch practice resumed.
Harry and Colin began with a set of intensive reflex training and once done, paired up, one each with Fred and George, Harry and George were together while Colin paired up with Fred. Fred and George were tasked with hitting as many bludgers in the direction of Harry and Colin respectively as possible, while Harry and Colin had to dodge every single one of them, while also attempting to catch the snitch. Slowly, the team got bigger, for a few of the younger chasers and the keepers including Ron joined in and the practice effectively turned into a mini intra-Gryffindor match.
It was all going very well for Harry, he had even started enjoying his time that evening thoroughly, without a care for the rest of the world. Harry was mid-flight and had just barely escaped a bludger, thanks to his insanely intuitive firebolt. Just then, Harry felt something. It was a weird and nagging sensation, a sudden urge to turn back and look for something. Unassumingly, Harry turned around and the sensation took his eyes directly in the direction of the spectators, and one figure in particular. Harry's eyes fell on Benjamin White, who was just getting up, angrily. Harry stared at him confused, but no eye contact was made between the pair.
Harry spent the rest of the quidditch training, with an eye on the spectators wondering whether White would make a comeback, but he didn't. Once the training ended, Harry dashed away from the playing field to White's office, taking a short detour to the dormitory. The moment Harry reached White's office, he found the suitcase and without another thought, he climbed down the suitcase, like he had done many a time.
"Professor?" he called out. But there was no response. Harry called out once again, but there was no response. Finally, as Harry took a few steps, his eyes fell on White, sitting under a tree, red-faced.
"Professor, what happened?" asked Harry. "Why do you... seem... angry?" he added, hesitantly.
Without a warning, White jerked his wand at Harry and instantly a ball of fire erupted and made its way towards Harry. Almost instinctively, Harry slashed at the ball of fire and a jet of water escaped his wand and extinguished the fire.
"What was that?" exclaimed Harry, shocked and in a tone higher than before.
"Why is it Mr Potter that you are ever ready against a physical attack, but never ready against a mental one?" remarked White, in a cold and eerily calm tone.
"I don't..." stumbled Harry but went silent. After a moment, he continued, "I'm sorry... I didn't realise you were going to be testing me while I was playing quidditch," he said.
"And had you realised, would you have blocked me from reading and manipulating your thoughts?" retorted White. Harry stood silently in response. He knew he wasn't any better at occlumency now than he was a month or two back.
"Do you understand the seriousness of what you are up against, Mr Potter?" exclaimed White, angrily.
"Of course, I do," snapped Harry and regretted it instantly.
"We wouldn't be having this conversation had you acted your words," retorted back White. "It wouldn't take the Dark Lord a second to wipe the floor with you... Your survival till now has been sheer dumb luck," he continued, angrily.
Harry stared at White speechless. He couldn't believe the amount of vitriol in White's words.
"It wasn't all luck," muttered Harry, under his breath.
"Come again," exclaimed White.
"It wasn't all luck, Professor White... Why are you diminishing the efforts and sacrifices of people around me?" remarked Harry, hurt.
"We are not talking about them... For all I care, had they not done anything, you wouldn't be here, would you?" retorted White, instantly. After a couple of seconds of silence, White continued, "Fine... you were either too young or too inexperienced to do anything in the past. But what have you done to get better?" he exclaimed.
Harry stood silently. He didn't know what to say in response. Had he not taken extra efforts to prepare himself for these sessions? Had he not spent most of his free time in the chamber, polishing his duelling skills? Anything he felt like saying seemed like the kind of thing that would spark the flames even further. And hence he chose silence. But, unfortunately for Harry, White kept staring at him, expecting some kind of response.
"Professor..." began Harry, calmly. "Our training sessions have helped me get better a lot. And you know that I have been taking extra efforts. I don't know... but I'm finding it difficult to shut down all the things that keep firing in my head," he said. "I know better than anyone, how much help and assistance I have had in dealing with all the threats... I promise you, I'm taking this seriously," he finished.
White got up after a few moments and walked towards Harry. There seemed to be a sudden change in his expression.
"I shouldn't have used such harsh words," remarked White. "You are quite the prodigy, Mr Potter... But even prodigies can be quite ordinary in some things. You wear your emotions on your sleeve, Harry. What is one of your better qualities is also detrimental in keeping you safe from any Legilimens," he added, calmly.
"But, I have to do something about it right? I can't just give up," retorted Harry.
"We won't give up, Mr Potter... This is a problem we have to solve and we will," reassured White. "After all, I need you to do well against the Dark Lord. I will do everything in my hands to make sure you come out on top..." he added.
Harry was tired from the increased load of training and the OWLs studies he had been bearing ever since the beginning of the semester. Every night, whether it was an early one or like he had just had... a late one, Harry would climb up to his dormitory and fall asleep almost instantly. There would be nights when he would wake up in the middle of his sleep after a bad dream like the one he had a few nights back. Harry woke up terrified and looked around to realise that it was just a dream. He had just dreamt that Voldemort killed Sirius who was just trying to protect him from the killing curse.
Harry had experienced similar dreams often, in the past few weeks. But, they weren't new to him. He had always had trouble sleeping, bad dreams were just part of his life now. In fact, Sirius wasn't the only one he had dreamt of dying at the hands of Voldemort. Practically everyone he thought of as a close friend or acquaintance, he had seen die in his dreams. Hermione, Daisy, Ron, Sirius, Remus, Jane, Arthur Weasley, Dudley, Aunt Petunia... and the list went on.
The bad dreams didn't limit themselves to Voldemort killing people close to him, but ever so recently, he had once again started reliving horrifying and distasteful memories from his past. For a few nights in a row, Harry was revisited by the death of John, the moment he heard the news from Remus, the moment his eyes fell on John's dead body... Not just relive, but his creative mind, he thought to himself was also showing him the different ways he could have saved John from dying. And often afterwards, he would wake up, hot and sweaty and completely distraught.
It was a very cold and even earlier morning. None of the students had woken up, not even the ones that tended to wake up early and go out for a run or a fly. It was raining outside and it was a surprise it wasn't snowing instead. Were anyone to walk into the boys' dormitory at that moment, they would see every single student, peacefully in bed, enjoying their sleep under comfortable mattresses. Every single student, except for Harry Potter of course. Harry was mildly, but, uncomfortably squirming on his bed. To the trained eye, however, it'd be obvious that he was probably having one of his regularly occurring bad dreams.
It was a while, but Harry finally woke up wide awake. The moment he did, he looked around, realised that he was only in his bed, in his dormitory and after a moment, had his hands on his head, frustrated.
"Why do I keep having these dreams," he cursed to himself. He had seen this dream before, even before he had come to Hogwarts before he knew about magic and wizardry. When he was really young, he didn't particularly understand it. There were screams of a woman and that was pretty much that. As he grew older, he started remembering the vague face that appeared in his dream. It wasn't long before he recognised her as his mother. Slowly, as Harry started getting used to the magical world around him, he found out about the killing curse and recognised the very same being the reason for her demise. As he grew older, the events of the night got etched into his memory, simply by reliving it so many times. He may have just been a baby back then, but he saw those last moments of his mother.
That early morning was the latest time he had to endure the same pain, hurt and helplessness that it brought with it. Disturbed out of yet another sleep, Harry slowly got up from his bed and bent down to drag his trunk out and then proceeded to sit down beside it. The vague visions from his nightmare replayed in his head... the brave and wise image of his mother came to the forefront. As Harry opened his trunk, his eyes fell on the photo that was lying on top of the pile of items, the very thing he was looking for after his nightmarish sleep. Lily and James were sitting close, yet opposite to each other, their faces beaming at each other, while an infant Harry Potter lay in his mother's arms, peacefully—a photo taken just a few months before their tragic death.
Harry took out the photo, pushed his trunk back in and got up from the floor to walk downstairs to the common room. As Harry sat down on the couch, the images continued replaying in his head and the screams continued ringing in his ear. Harry stared at the photo in his hand and had the same thoughts he always had when he looked at it, how young his parents looked, they were hardly only a few years older than he was now. The genuine smile on Lily's face, her eyes, mouth, and cheeks all conveying the happiness that she felt in those moments made Harry smile a little as well, while the contrast between the images that replayed in his head made him sad and melancholic at the same time. Harry spent the rest of the morning, till it wasn't too late for him to get ready for his classes, sitting on the couch, half-asleep, staring at the happy faces of his mother and his father.
Hope you enjoyed this chapter!
PS - I'm not promising anything, but I suppose the next one cannot possibly take longer than this one did... Ciao!