Bella and I walked through the brightly lit market, right to the back of the store where the frozen meat section was. Anthony remained comfortable and protected in my arms. Swaddled in his blue blanket with his tiny head resting on my shoulder. The sweet sound of him intently sucking on his pacifier rang in my ear. Bella walked next to me with a small shopping basket in her left hand. Her eyes scanned the roll of frozen meat, trying to find what she needed.
Before we got out of her car and entered the market, Bella informed me that our baby didn't desire breast milk; instead, he craved blood. She learned during her pregnancy she could purchase animal blood at grocery stores that were conveniently packaged in small portions – that usually came with kidneys and liver – with her EBT card.
It broke my dead-heart that this sweet, smart girl was living in a homeless shelter, receiving government money, and food stamps that she referred to as EBT. I had more than enough means to take care of her and our baby - buy them anything both of them should ever want or need while she was struggling. But she did what she had to do to survive, and I admired her for that. I didn't leave her much of a choice when I left, after all, and she made do with the little she had.
Since she lived in a shelter with a kitchen everyone shared, taking the frozen blood back to where they lived and warming it up in the microwave was not an option. That would definitely raise suspicion that there was something wrong about Anthony, or worse, someone might get the idea that Bella was crazy. This was why she would thaw it out with the car's heater and serve it in a baby bottle to our son once it was no longer ice cold.
"Mission complete," Bella said proudly, reaching for the Styrofoam container that was between packaged chicken thighs and legs. "Our hunt is over."
She held it up in triumph, and I found myself trying not to gag. The smell of frozen chicken blood was dreadful.
"That's dinner?" I questioned, wrinkling my nose.
Bella nodded her head yes. I stared at her impassively.
"Yes, it is. Would you want one too?" She asked.
I wasn't sure if she was being polite or joking. But that wasn't something I wanted to consume, nor did I want my baby to drink it. I couldn't imagine how she could stand to give him that on a daily basis. To me, it smelled horrible, though I guess to her it smelled fine, and baby Anthony had no way of knowing how much better a fresh kill would taste. Again, that was my fault, just as everything else was. One more thing on my list I needed to fix.
"No, thank you," I said politely.
"Are you sure?" She asked, placing the container in the basket.
"I'm sure. It's nothing I would like," I said honestly and quickly added. "Instead of buying that, why don't I catch something fresh? It'll probably be tastier and more filling than anything here."
Bella's deep chocolate eyes looked from me to our son and back again. Her teeth dug into her bottom lip, and she seemed to be debating something. Without being able to read her thoughts, I could only guess she was second-guessing if she should accept my help. I prayed she would. A few seconds passed, she didn't speak, but her stomach rumbled, a sure sign she was hungry too.
"Bella," I reached out for her hand.
She didn't coil away from my touch nor did she her fingers didn't interlace with mine. With a shy smile, she pulled her hand from mine. Her mind, which I heard for a moment, was full of conflict of love, want, need, and fear. All of those emotions revolved around me and made me feel like the biggest screw-up there ever was.
"Edward," she said, looking a little sad. "I'm not ready to hold hands."
I nodded in agreement as a numbing feeling washed over me. Immediately, I placed my hand back on Anthony's head. It amazed me that he was very content with me holding him while he sucked on his pacifier. That's what I tried to focus on; instead of the lack of her touch that brought my dead-heart aching. My head was reeling with something she had said earlier about earning her trust back.
I broke her trust once; I shouldn't expect to hold her hand.
"I'm sorry." I apologized. My words went far beyond holding her hand, though I'm not sure if she realized that.
"It's okay." She uttered at the same time her stomach rumbled again. A beautiful blush colored her face. "What were you going to say?"
I exhaled. "Please allow me to take care of dinner tonight. For both of you?"
My words were a plea, truthful yet desperate.
I'm not sure if it was my tone or the expression on my face that made Bella put back that container of revolting poultry blood. But whatever it was, she did.
"Okay." She said, sounding hesitant. "If you want to be in charge of dinner, that's fine."
"Really?" I asked, amazed that she was accepting my invitation.
"Yeah. But instead of stopping for fast food, would you mind if I get something at the deli in front of the store?" She asked as Anthony began to fuss.
"Of course. You can have whatever you like."
She smiled a small smile.
We walked to the front as Bella questioned me in a whisper about what I would hunt for our baby. I shrugged my reply. I wasn't sure what would be best. At that moment, I began to wonder what type of animal blood would be best to give to my baby son, who was becoming bored with the pacifier. I really wasn't sure, so I began to overthink it. While she waited in the short line to buy her food with the money I gave her, I told her I would be waiting outside.
Walking outside of the store, holding Anthony to my chest with one hand, I reached into the pocket of my jeans and fished out my phone. I needed to talk to the one person I knew I could always count on to help me with a tangible problem. I flipped it open, quickly going into the contacts, pressing the one I needed and put the phone to my ear as I sat on a bench, adjusting Anthony so he was now cradled in my arm. I was becoming more used to holding him; something he and I both seemed to enjoy.
The line began to ring, and I started to feel bad that I was about to interrupt my parents. It was Friday night, and they were enjoying a kid-free night alone at home. All of us were busy; Alice and I were supposed to be having dinner with our Drama Club while Em, Jazz, and Rose went to the mall where Alice and I had planned to meet-up with them later and see a movie.
Simultaneously, the line stopped ringing and Anthony spit out his pacifier. The green artificial nipple, he had been enjoying, plummet to the ground. Without having a free hand to grab it, I helplessly watched it roll away from us, off the sidewalk, and into the storm drain. I wasn't the only one that saw it; Anthony did too. Seeing his beloved pacifier roll away and disappear flipped a switch inside his tiny brain. Where he once had been quiet and content, he no longer was. He began crying.
"Hello?" Carlisle spoke on the other end of the phone.
Anthony screamed, an ear-piercing sound.
I knew my father was waiting for me to speak, but comforting my baby was more important at the moment. "I'm sorry. I can't get the pacifier; it's gone. I'll buy you a new one." I promised.
My words did not soothe my son. He began to lose his mind, crying like he was being tortured.
"Hello? Edward?" Carlisle questioned. If he wondered why the first thing he heard was an unhappy baby when he picked up the phone, he didn't ask.
"Dad," I said, trying not to panic as my son's crying became louder. "I don't mean to interrupt your night, but what would be the best to hunt for a newborn hybrid?" I lowered my voice on the last part. "A deer or a bear?"
"Pardon?" He asked. "Edward, are you taking care of a half-vampire baby? I thought you were with Alice and your school's theater club at Sizzler. What's going on?"
"Dear, is everything all right?" I heard my mother say in the background.
"I'm not sure, love." My father said to her. He sounded confused, and I imagined him rubbing his forehead the way he does when he's bewildered.
"I was." I replied to his question, lightly bouncing my son in my arm. He cried even louder. "I'm having a very unusual night. I need help. You see, I lost my extra hearing and gained a baby."
My words were spoken with panic; I was full of anxiety and didn't know what to do. Somehow, I think Anthony knew I didn't have a clue, and he let out a loud wail, making me more nervous because I had no idea how to calm him.
"I'm not understanding." My father admitted. "You can't lose your gift; that doesn't happen. Remember, I explained that to you back in Forks when you met Bella and couldn't hear her mind?"
"Yes. I know. But it's gone now." I spoke rapidly.
Anthony screamed at the top of his lungs. Maybe that was some sort of a distress call; I wasn't sure since I didn't speak baby talk. But whatever it was brought the focus of our phone conversation back to him.
"Can you please explain how you obtained a newborn hybrid?" Carlisle asked in his calm demeanor.
"I ran into Bella while I was at Sizzlers." I began to explain, aligning the pieces of the puzzle into place. "She had a baby and no longer lives in Forks. She's been on her own all this time, living in shelters for teen mothers. That was all my fault. I'm trying to make things right, but I really don't know what I'm doing. The baby keeps crying, and Bella's not out of the store yet." I took a deep breath. "I need to know what to do regarding food for him. He doesn't care for milk."
There was a long pause on the other end of the phone. I assumed he was trying to process everything I said, which was a lot to take in. Be that as it may, I was paying less attention to the reaction I thought my father would have, and more to Anthony. His crying never stopped, and I wasn't sure how to soothe him. He was very upset, and I was a nervous wreck.
"Edward, if I were to assume you are the natural father to Bella's baby, would that be correct?" My father asked calmly, while in the background, my mother gasped in shock.
"Yes," I answered with the honest truth. "He's named after me in a way. His name is mine in reverse, so his first name is Anthony, and middle name is Edward. I didn't know I got her pregnant when we left, but I did. He's five and a half weeks old, and I need to make things right for both of them."
"Son, I have faith in you that you will." He spoke honestly; always seeing the good in me, even when I messed up. "It seems we will have some things to discuss when you come home."
"I know." I sighed.
"Will Bella and your baby be joining us?" There was a hopeful edge to his voice.
"I don't know. I need to talk with Bella about that first." I said, trying to figure out how to approach the subject with her.
Anthony screamed, letting me know it was past his dinner. Even hough he had milk before we went inside the store, that's not what he wanted, and he wasn't satisfied. At that moment, I asked Carlisle again - in a fast-paced tone that no human could hear - about what animal would be best for a newborn; a deer or a bear.
"A newborn baby can only drink so much, Son. Just a couple of ounces." He chuckled. "A rabbit would be your best option."
"Thank you." I said, making a mental note of that.
"Of course, Son." Carlisle replied, a smile in his voice. "A rabbit should be plenty and keep him full for a while."
Anthony howled. While my father gave me the rundown on the do's and don'ts of feeding an infant, I placed the phone between my ear and shoulder so I would have the use of both of my arms. As he went into a small speech about how to burp a baby, I began to rock Anthony gently in my arms, but that didn't help. He continued to scream.
Over the racket from his crying, I heard a noise that sounded a little like someone squeezing an almost empty mustard bottle. I no longer heard the words my father was saying as air came out of somewhere unspeakable and ended with an uncomfortable wet-fart sound. Anthony screamed and his face was becomin the color of a beet. The horrible sound was heard again; this time it was accompanied by a foul smell that would put a pig farm to shame.
Anthony shrieked, and I gagged as the putrid stench filled my nostrils.
"Oh, for all the love of all that's holy!" The words came out louder than I intended, making my son cry louder.
"Edward, is everything all right?" Carlisle spoke with deep concern.
"I don't think so," I said, trying not to breathe.
The aroma was unmistakably coming from my very unhappy son, who was uncomfortable in more ways than one. There was only one reason, for this level of gut-wrenching aroma, a human reason I was unfamiliar with. To say I was unprepared for this part of parenthood was a total understatement.
"What's the matter? Is the baby okay?" Carlisle asked, fearing for the worst.
"I believe my baby needs a diaper change," I spoke into the receiver to my father, terror clear in my tone. To my crying, stinky baby, I said, "Where is your mother?"
Anthony's only response was to cry and unleash another round of flatulence that made my skin crawl. I realized it wasn't only gas that he passed. His diaper was now filled to maximum capacity, making him even more cranky. At that moment, I was in a state of panic. I was also loudly gagging, wishing for a gas mask, and hoping Bella would hurry back. There was no way I was going to take him into the grocery store smelling like that. It wouldn't be fair to the unexpected shoppers for me to take him inside. Only for him to quickly stink up the store, all so I could find Bella. I decided to stick this out. Eventually, she'd come outside, and know what to do.
Somehow, through all the noise and chaos my son and I were the cause of, I heard my father chuckle. Just one small laugh, though I couldn't imagine what might be amusing at a time like this.
"Son," he said, trying to keep the laughter out of his voice.
"Yeah?" I asked, feeling sick to my stomach.
"Welcome to fatherhood." His tone was full of amusement.