"Hey." She sighed. "You fell asleep on the sofa. I was expecting you to wake up and move, so I'm sorry if your back is gone."
He groaned at the light before his eyes settled on her. "Dats okay." He muttered, still half asleep. "Don't think 'm light enough for you to drag to the bedroom, even now."
"Don't make jokes." She scolded.
He sat up on the sofa with his hands sluggishly. "You like my sense of humour."
She sighed. "Not the ones about how ill you are."
He didn't speak for a long second, trying to find something to respond with. Unfortunately, there was nothing he could say. "What's the time?"
"Eight-thirty. Are you seeing the kids today?"
"No. But um- Meredith said I had some stuff at hospital still and I was thinking of getting it today. She mentioned it ages ago, but I- you know, it's...awkward. I just kinda disappeared and left all my friends. They're probably pissed."
"They wouldn't be if you told them why."
He sighed. "You know I'm not going to do that."
She shook her head at him. "Okay. But remember that just because I go along with this lying thing, doesn't mean I think it's the right thing to do."
"Shepherd." Richard named, surprise in his voice.
He smiled for a short second before shutting the door behind him. "Apparently you have some stuff that you couldn't throw out but Meredith wouldn't take home."
"Mmm. Your coat."
"Oh." He breathed. He forgot about that. "Right."
"How are you these days?" He asked as he handed him the lab coat.
"Fine." He shrugged.
"You know I still haven't found a replacement for you. We've had two interim heads so far but...they just aren't you. And, I'm going to be honest, I am rather angry that you left me in the lurch but, at the same time, you are a damn good surgeon, Derek."
He nodded, because he didn't know what else to do.
"I'm offering to give you your job back, by the way." He clarified.
"I know." He agreed with another brief smile. It faded quicker than the first one, somehow.
"I thought you'd want it, you know, being back in Seattle and all."
"I'm afraid not, sorry." He apologized, doing his best to express his genuineness. "And also sorry for leaving so abruptly. Just...sorry generally."
"Is it about Meredith? Because maybe if you two worked together again it could help you reconcile. She's been sad without you."
"No. It's- I mean, it would be awkward but-" He sighed, and scrubbed his face with his hands. "It's complicated."
"Complicated how?"
"I keep lying to her. And I wish I didn't but I just- I can't tell her the truth."
"Why not?"
"Because if I did, she'd love me again."
"You don't want her to love you?" He asked, surprised. He assumed that both sides would say that, if they could choose, they would be together.
"No. Because that would make it a thousand times harder for both me and her when-"
"When what?" Richard pushed when he failed to continue.
He shook his head. "I- just, nevermind."
"Shepherd-" He pleaded. That was not the kind of thing you could brush off with a 'nevermind'.
He grasped the handle to the door and left with nothing more than a quick thanks.
"Is it a stupid question if I ask you how you've been?" He asked as they stood in silence, waiting for the kids to come down the stairs.
"Probably. But...yeah, okay. It was hard at first. They were very upset - with the whole world, not just you - when you left so they were pretty hard to deal with. Then they got better, and I managed to get the hang of being a single parent."
He swallowed. "I'm really sorry. I truly, I truly am."
"I really want you to tell me that you had a gun to your head when you called me that day and you had no choice in the matter at all." She replied in a confident voice before looking to him and asking softly, "Can you?"
"Not a gun." He sighed.
"But something else?" Meredith prompted. "You didn't just do it because you're an asshole?"
He stared at her for a long second before replying, "I wish I could say that."
She was about to ask what the hell that could mean when she heard the sound of tiny footsteps hitting the stairs. "Daddy!"
Derek crouched so he could meet his run with a hug. "Hey, Bailey."
"We go park."
"Oh. Um, okay." He looked up to Meredith. "Is that fine with you?"
"Yeah. I'm actually going to come with though."
"Right." Derek agreed. "Well, I'd love to see your monkey bar progress Bails."
"I good now Dada."
He smiled. "I'm sure you are."
"Who dropped you off?"
"Huh?" He asked, looking round from the climbing frame where his kids were playing.
"Someone dropped you off at the house; you didn't drive."
"Oh. Yeah." He agreed.
"Would that be your girlfriend?" She couldn't help but ask.
He shook his head. "Just a friend."
"And what is this friend's name?" She asked. She knew the best way to catch someone in a lie.
Crap. "It um-"
She smirked. "So it is your girlfriend. Glad to know you move on so quickly."
"Meredith. It's not-"
"Mama! Dada!" A high voice called. "Look me! I upside-down."
Meredith smiled. "Woah. Look at you, honey!"
"Dada play!" Bailey shouted.
"I um- I think Mama would rather play with you."
"No. Dada."
"Dada isn't up to playing right now, buddy. I'm sorry. I'm sure Mama would though."
She sighed, and stood. "Do I really have to do everything myself, Derek? Really? I thought that you'd come here to be with your kids, not watch me look after them."
"Meredith-"
She ignored him. "I have children to look after."
"I think we need to talk." Meredith stated as he reached the bottom of the stairs, and she spotted him from the kitchen.
"Okay." He agreed reluctantly, anxious about what they were going to be discussing. He walked in, and sat down at the island.
"What happened today?"
"What?"
"At the park. Why did you say no to playing with the kids?"
"I'm not feeling great today. Didn't sleep well." He lied.
"I'm a single mom with a full time job and two kids, which means I am the tired one. I am the one who doesn't sleep. I am the one who they wake up at night when they've had a bad dream, or feel sick. I am the one who never gets to relax because they need me every second. I am the one who cooks for them, and takes them everywhere they want to go, and runs their baths and...I do everything for them, Derek. Every freaking thing!" She exclaimed. "I. Am. The. Tired. One!"
Derek sighed.
"Nothing? You've got nothing to say? At all?"
"I'm going to go home." He said as he slid off of his seat. "Because I'm tired."
"Seriously?" She exclaimed. "You're that childish?"
"People have other problems, you know?"
"Like what? What is it, Derek?"
He sighed, and walked towards the door, "I'm going to go now."
"Derek." She called.
He stopped, and turned around, although, he didn't know why. "What now?"
"One out of three."
"One out of three?" He repeated, confused.
"Three strikes. Three disappointments. Three failures. And you are out; you're not seeing them again." She elaborated. "You can call your lawyer or whatever after that if you want, because I imagine you will."
He sighed. "They're my children."
"They are. But you gave up your right to see them whenever you wanted when you left them and me with a singular phone call."
"Where's Dada?"
"I'm sure he'll be here soon, baby." She reassured her as she pulled her phone out and turned it on. Blank screen, still. No messages, voicemails or calls.
"He promese that he be watching."
"Yeah, I know baby. I'm sure he'll be here soon."
"How much time now?"
"Five minutes before you have to go and get ready, but twenty-five until the play starts." She said as she looked at her watch. She didn't really mean play. She wasn't quite sure what a preschool performance was going to contain.
"So Dada could still be here?"
She smiled. "Of course. He'll be here. And, when he does show up, I'll give him a good scolding. Now, you go and get ready."
"Okay." She agreed.
Meredith crouched, and kissed her on the cheek. "Good luck, baby. Love you."
"Love you, Mama." She said before hurrying off.
The second she was gone, she pulled out her phone and selected his contact. It rang, and rang, and rang, but no one responded, other than the woman asking her if she wanted to leave a voicemail.
"Derek. I'm actually going to freaking kill you if you don't come. Zola is worried and desperate for you to be here, so you better show or I'm going to be dealing with a sobbing, screaming child and that will be your fault. And, you know what, this is your second and third strike, because you've upset Zola and made me really freaking pissed. So, basically, hurry the hell up or find your lawyer. I'm sure they'll enjoy all the things I have to say about you and your inconsistency in seeing the children you supposedly love with your whole heart. Hurry. Up." She ended the message, and slid her phone into her pocket with a heavy sigh.
She smiled. "I love it. And your glasses go well with your suit."
He smiled back. "Thanks."
"It's probably a little over the top for a preschool play."
"I know. But she's got a really nice little dress and she was wondering what other people would wear. So, if she's overdressed, then we can be overdressed together."
She smiled. "Sweet. Now- you're gonna drink before you go. Apple?"
"Yeah. Thanks."
"So-" She called from the kitchen as she prepared his drink. "Do you know if Bailey is there too or did Meredith get a sitter?"
Nothing.
"Derek?"
Nothing.
She put the carton down beside the glass before she could pour it.
"Derek?" She called again. Her voice was much louder, and more alarmed this time.
Nothing.
She left the fridge wide open, something that she had always scolded her children for, and rushed into the lounge to find exactly what she feared. She grabbed a phone on the way to him.
"9-1-1." The woman stated through the phone. "What's your emergency?"
"I need an ambulance for my son. Quickly please."