Chapter 7 - Unpleasant discoveries
The rest of the week went by in similar nerve-wracking uneventfulness. Neither police nor Batman tracked her down and Mister Wayne had not called her to his office again to answer suspicions of corporate sabotage.
Nonetheless, or especially because of this, Tanya had not dared to venture out in costume again for fear that it could prematurely blow her cover, which in turn meant that she had not made any money. Sure, the end of the year bonus on this month's paycheck was nothing to sneeze at, but financial troubles tended to arise when one least expected them.
So, she had politely shaken some hands, exchanged meaningless pleasantries and politely declined to take part in the yearly Christmas Party due to 'health reasons'. That part was not even a lie as she was unsure of how her altered digestion would react to alcohol.
Taking one last look at the towering building where she had worked for two years, Tanya turned around and walked alone through the freshly fallen snow. She was silent as she analyzed the as off yet unsullied snowflakes, content to keep her gaze on the grey sky while the rest of Gotham seemed to be rushing inside to celebrate with their loved ones. One chapter of her life had just closed behind her forever and the city was already being painted in her favourite colour.
She found she kind of liked that...
-W-
The Joker was an absolute madman. A dangerous, unhinged lunatic. Absolutely untrustworthy and unpredictably violent. By all common sense, he should have never made a deal with the psycho. And yet he did.
After all, the Joker also had enough blood money stashed in a hole somewhere to buy up a small country. What that murderous freak wanted with so much cash, Victor would rather not think about. The only thing that mattered was that he had been promised a rather sizable cut.
Naturally he didn't trust the goddamn Joker one bit to keep to his end of the deal and had made several contingencies. One of them being that he had gotten hired by another villain to kill the clown after he accomplished his infantile plan of messing with Batman.
The Penguin was a different kind of psycho and one he liked much more. That fat little bastard was a predictable and petty man who only cared about power for the sake of it. Victor personally diagnosed the man with a severe case of Napoleon syndrome, but was of course sure to never utter those thoughts out loud or risk getting some assassin sent after him.
No matter what happened over the next few nights, he was guaranteed to earn a small fortune and that made his cold blood run quicker. Nora was one step closer to being in his reach again...
Checking his Freeze-Ray, Victor waited for the clock to sound midnight as his melodramatic 'employer' had demanded and fired at the wall of Arkham Asylum.
-W-
Tanya knew it was somewhat childish to admire her own reflection in the mirror, but she looked just too awesome not to. She had painted some crimson accents on her formerly stark white mask and only now did she realize how much that improved the look. The grinning demon's expression was now even more bloodthirsty if that was possible! Wonderful.
It was the only bit of colour on her otherwise black and white outfit, perfectly matched to Gotham's wintery colour scheme. So far December had been relatively warm, but meteorologists predicted that this Christmas would be a white one. As soon as the front of warm air from the south had passed, the next month would become gruellingly cold. A bit of visual camouflage would help a lot when the rooftops were choked under a deluge of snow.
Her needlework had improved over the last week and now her getup could charitably be described as professional. Naturally it could not compare the wardrobes of the more established players in this city, but in the heat of battle nobody would get a good look at her anyway. The most important thing was that she was recognizable enough to profit off the reputation of other masked 'heroes' or 'villains' as too dangerous to easily mess with.
Closing her balcony door behind her, Tanya jumped up the roof and spread her arms. Everybody would be indoors now if they were not homeless, and so her second night of scouting out her environment was most likely going to be far more peaceful than the first. It was a beautiful night to enjoy some fresh air.
-W-
Harley laughed. She was getting her Hubby out of the boring prison to have some fun! Her darling really was such a thoughtful guy, giving her an early Christmas present like that. Batsy would probably show up soon too and then it would be a whole family get-together! How romantic ... Was romantic the right word for hanging out with people she wanted to strangle? Probably not, but who cared!
She laughed again at the absurdity.
"Honey-poo, did I tell you that I really missed you?" Harley asked, simultaneously shooting a guard in the chest.
"Only fifteen times, my little hyena." Joker told her with one of his handsome grins.
Blowing him a kiss with one hand she flipped into a handstand with the other just because she thought it would be funny.
Mister Popsicle – so named because his head looked very round and suckable and he was also pretty cold – shot them a disgusted look which was totally uncalled for.
"If you could hurry up, it would be greatly appreciated." he growled.
"We are having a moment here!" she explained indignantly.
"Yeah, yeah..." he waved her off, but was careful not to let her out of his creepy red-glowing eyes, as Harley noted with satisfaction.
Drawing each word out unbearably and clearly taking pleasure from the pained grimace of their temporary lackey, her hubby launched his counter attack: "My dear Professor Refrigerator-Refrigerador-Freezerator , would you be so kind as to remove this obstacle for us then?"
The wall he gestured at promptly exploded as the Freeze-Ray caused all of the moisture inside to expand at once. How Batman thought his new automatic taser turrets were going to stop them when the buildings of this asylum were positively ancient...
Oh well, maybe he would reinforce them next time. That could be fun. They would have to keep getting smarter and smarter to break out of this hole and didn't that sound like an exciting game? The higher the stakes, the sweeter the victory would taste.
Striding outside Harley whistled as the temperature sunk even lower. Before it had been chilly thanks to Mister Popsicle's work, but now she was definitely freezing! Swiftly turning on her heel she went back inside the corridor.
"Where are you going, honey? The party is outside!"
"Just grabbing something real quick!" she assured her hubby before he got cranky .
Nobody liked it when the Joker got cranky. Not even her.
Divesting the downed security guard of his jacket, she slipped that on and drew the zipper closed. It was a bit bloody and not at all her style, but hopefully she wouldn't have to wear it for long. The opening act of their planned Christmas Special would be short and explosive .
In the time it had taken her to prepare for the arctic weather outside, Mister Popsicle had held true to his word and built them a freaking ice castle! So cool! Harley squealed a bit. She had dreamed of playing the Ice Queen ever since she was a little girl and now she got her own floating castle! Illuminated as it was by Gotham's nightly lights the spiky, glittering construct looked truly magical.
Dancing across the freshly frozen bridge and doing her best not to slip, she stumbled upon the sight of her hubby lazily spinning in circles.
"Not bad, not bad..." commented her darling, pursing his lips and stroking his chin exaggeratedly.
"If you want ice sculptures of yourself or some crap then I am the wrong guy to ask. I am not an artist. Seeing as I did my part, am I done here now?" drawled Mister Popsicle, obviously eager to turn tail and bail before the big confrontation took place.
Nah, no way he was getting away that easily!
She sent her partner in crime and life a meaningful wink and like the genius he was he caught onto her plan instantly.
"Oh, I don't want a statue... This is a fine stage for a dramatic showdown and all, but you know what's missing? Entertainment!"
Glitter erupted from his sleeves, making her target instinctively step backwards. Sneaking up on the big guy, she drew her weapon with razor sharp reflexes and struck. Mister Popsicle whirled around but it was too late. Her work was already complete.
Hubby burst into his wonderful laughter, nearly keeling over from how hard his shoulders were shaking.
"What did you do!?"" yelled the grumpy old geezer.
"Just gave you a little smile is all. Just a little fun among friends."
That smiley face drawn on his derpy glass helmet made the backside of his bald head look much nicer than the front. It was honestly incredible how a magic marker could bring about such a huge improvement!
"You annoying s-"
Mister Popsicle was interrupted by a large figure slamming into him from above, cracking the shimmering floor beneath.
Harley shook her fists over head in excitement. It was Bats!
"Joker, you have hurt many innocents tonight. Surrender and go back to your cell or I will have to use force."
Mister Popsicle underneath him attempted to throw him off, but Bats threw many black things around him and the ice exploded! Elegantly as ever, Gotham's 'Dark Knight' jumped off while the heavily armoured villain sank into the bubbling depths of the South Channel. For a brief moment, Harley wondered if he was going to drown, but then she remembered that his suit was airtight. Mister Popsicle would probably be alright. Batman didn't kill, after all.
Her darling was unperturbed by seeing their frantically splashing helper vanish into the sea: "Oooooouuuu, scaaaary ! Did you hear that, Harls? After sending our poor Mr. Freeze to his watery grave now he wants to choke me and use me against my will and do naughty-"
"Enough! This ends now!" roared Bats. How adorable ...
"Oh, Batman ... I would love to come with you, I really would, but..."
Joker ripped his closed fist from his pocket and wiggled it above his head.
"What are you playing at?" Batman asked, his tone suddenly weary.
"Well... I have a bit of a problem here, you see... If my fingers leave this trigger then the Saint Mary's Orphanage is gonna blow up!"
Oh, this would be so much fun!
"You are not going to do that." Bats snarled, trying to sound threatening. Silly man, after doing that a dozen times that trick kinda lost its intimidation factor.
"Oh, Bats, believe me I am not."
That seemed to take him off guard.
"Explain."
"I am not going to blow up anything tonight if I don't have to. Simple as that."
"And why is that?"
Bats was planning something and he was buying time, but that was not a problem.
"... Because I lied ."
Opening his fist, Joker dropped the random piece of plastic junk from his palm.
"Hehehehe... I wouldn't do that a day before Christmas! What do you take me for; a monster ? Hehehehe!"
Instantly the heroic dummy surged forwards to beat her hubby into the ground, committing the tactical blunder of forgetting that she was still in the room.
Just as his gloved fingers gripped her beloved's shoulders to hold him in place for a no doubt devastating punch, Harley pressed the real detonator. Explosions all over Arkham Island rocked their little swimming abode as the ice produced worrying cracking sounds under the force of the multiple overlapping shockwaves. On the slippery floor they all lost their footing and tumbled around like children in a bouncy castle.
Joker knew that Bats would always go after him first. He was predictable that way.
Shaking her head and lazily propping herself up on her elbows, Harley grinned: "Really? You fell right into our shiny, sparkling, castle-y trap. Didn't spare our goons even a second look. I fear I can't give you a passing grade on this test, Batboy. Stay after class and wait until we've called your parents."
Judging from his annoyed look she had poked right where it hurt. No one dressed up in a skin-tight costume without some repressed daddy issues. Harley would know from personal experience...
Bats jumped to his feet and violently hoisted her hubby into the air as well, who contrary to his insensitive treatment was just giggling incessantly, not resisting at all. Although, why would he, when he held all the power in this exchange?
"Now... Are you gonna let us go or leave every other inmate of Arkham Asylum free to run amok on Gotham instead? Hehehe... 'Cause dragging us to the nearest police station will take longer than for them to escape." Joker purred, like a cat cornering a helpless baby bird.
"You forgot the option where I can just knock you both unconscious and catch the rest in the meantime." their darkly clad arch-rival deadpanned.
"You could do that, but how can you be sure that we'll still be here when you come back? If you haven't noticed it yet, this little frosty island is now drifting with the currents. In a few hours we could be miles off the coast in the Atlantic. You sure you can track us down before anybody else does?"
Narrowing his eyes under the mask, Bats came to a decision.
-W-
Enjoying the cold wind on her skin, Tanya moved north to leave the mafia's territory. She didn't want to piss off the organization controlling her home district too much. In the end they might raise her rent to make up for the losses she inflicted upon them.
The Narrows were too poor to yield any reliably high-earning criminals – and the smell was just nasty – which left her with Chinatown as her first target of convenience. She didn't know much about the triads controlling the region, but they were supposed to deal with human trafficking and that made them more than acceptable targets. Also – not to be racist – but their cultural martial arts traditions seemed to make them focus more on melee weapons which gave her far better chances in a fight. Of course she was not stupid enough to presume that no Chinese gangster there carried a gun.
She had already noticed how much her spatial awareness had grown over the last week, but now one glance while hopping from rooftop to rooftop was enough to imprint a full 3D map of every street and building she passed into her head. Tanya was certain that she would never get lost again without a major traumatic brain injury impairing her decision making skills.
Ah, if only she could have had this immaculate memory during college...
Suddenly a low rumbling noise hit her. Flickers of distant fire and rising columns of smoke made the origin of the sound easy to find. There, barely visible behind the towering skyscrapers of the Justice Center, burned Arkham Island, home to the most infamous mental health institute on the continent.
Was this another Arkham Asylum breakout? This had to be the fifth one that she could remember taking place during her lifetime.
Fantastic...
A heightened presence of trigger-happy policemen on the prowl for the no doubt escaped inmates was just what she needed! Where was Batman when you needed him!? Well, to be fair he had probably stopped countless other attempts from occurring, but why did he have to fail now!? She was just a newbie trying to navigate an unfamiliar work environment!
Sighing, Tanya turned around and began to head home again. She didn't want to get spotted by the soon-to-be incredibly paranoid population who would see monsters like Man-Bat or Scarecrow crawling from every shadow.
On the other hand, with this much attention being drawn to the asylum, far less attention would be placed on her should he commit any crimes tonight...
In fact, if she struck somewhere near the centre of the breakout the blame would fall to any number of mad villains that had the lacking sense to not immediately vanish underground...
And if someone saw her skulking around? Gawking at disasters up close was a natural human response as old as history itself and not at all illegal. After some deliberation she came to the conclusion that the idea was at least worth exploring. Changing her course once again, Tanya moved cautiously towards the inferno in the distance.
-W-
Barbara rushed to get into her suit as fast as she possibly could. The noises of her father running around the apartment had woken her up just a few minutes ago and now with him rushing towards certain danger, she just had to follow, if only to make sure that nothing happened to him...
Her dad tended to get into serious trouble far too often for her liking – yes, she knew that was hypocritical of her to say – and she would not wait at home and chew on her fingernails all night out of crippling worry that he would never come back. That was the whole reason she even became Batgirl in the first place, to keep the city – and her dad by extension – safe.
Strapping her Grappling Gun to her belt she switched off the lights and slipped out of her bedroom window. The message on her pager had already informed her of what was going down on Arkham Island and it was not pretty: A total breakout of the inmates initiated by the Joker and Harley Quinn in their latest demented game.
For her that meant that there were plenty of butts to beat tonight before she could rest easy. Above all, Barbara was determined to get a nice and peaceful Christmas with her family and friends and she wouldn't let that damned clown ruin it!
Slingshotting her way over the roofs of Gotham and gliding with her cape never got old, even if she was slightly freezing from the cold wind up there.
Gradually the smell of smoke in the clear December air became stronger and stronger until she could see the devastation that had befallen the asylum from across the canal. Nearly every major building was in some way or form damaged with many burning brightly. Boats full of fleeing doctors, nurses and other personnel were rowing towards the shore as the bridges had seemingly been blocked.
Scores of police vans appeared to surround the entire island, their spinning sirens created a light show that lit up the entire neighbourhood. Meanwhile a small swarm of helicopters was in the air and let their search lights roam over the water.
Maybe she wouldn't be needed here. How could anyone break through this cordon?
The answer became obvious when suddenly a bright white beam erupted from the island and struck the dark water. With an ear-piercing crack the canal's surface erupted in one long, continuous detonation, carving a trench from one side to the other. Only a second later did her shocked brain comprehend that the water which had been blasted high into the air was not falling back down. It just hung there, forming a huge and thorny tunnel across the river, frozen .
Mr. Freeze's work undoubtedly.
Almost immediately the nearest helicopter illuminated the origin of the impromptu bridge, revealing dozens of shadowy figures who had been hidden beneath an overhang before!
Howling, cackling and incomprehensible screaming echoed through the night as the insane criminals were exposed to the light and began to storm as one over the ice towards the other side. In concert, multiple people on the boats sprung up and took their fellow passengers hostage, holding sharp knives or similar objects to their throats!
The threat was clear: Either let the prisoners escape or risk the lives of the refugees.
How were Arkham's inmates so organized!? This plan must have been months in the making!
Slowly Barbara came to the dire realization that this might just be a part in a much larger play...
-W-
'Damn it!' she cursed silently. This was the third promising warehouse she had stealthily broken into which was as far as she could tell free of criminal activity. Being able to pull out the nails from the sheet metal roofs and just climb in that way was handy like that.
The Sheal Dockyards of Midtown had once been thriving, but after Dr. Death – or whatever that guy's name was – had released a potent bioweapon on the nearby town of Sheal, trade with it had understandably suffered.
Tanya had thought that such an economically declining district would be rife with crime, but apparently the short distance to the Justice Center was keeping those corrupting influences at bay. What a shame… But she was not about to steal from honest, hard-working citizens just for convenience. She was not a parasite like Falcone.
Climbing out of the warehouse and hammering the roof back into place with her bare hands; Tanya decided to check one last place before calling it a night. She had heard some strange noises from Arkham Asylum's direction just now and had no desire to find out in person who or what was producing them.
One especially far jump later and she repeated her by now tried and true method of using her knife as a lever to loosen the nails before pulling four of them out on either side and bending the roof the rest of the way which made a hole just big enough to let her slip inside.
Navigating the large maze of crates and support beams in the dark was no problem for her and she quickly discovered that this stockroom was disappointingly ordinary as well. No, abnormal smells that could have been an indicator for drug smuggling hung in the air and the few boxes that she checked contained exactly what their label made them out to be: Car parts, mattresses and cereal.
One thing was odd about this hall though. At the very end stood a lone blue shipping container. Under its door, a miniscule gap was leaking light onto the floor, so faint it would have been impossible for the normal human eye to detect.
Sneaking closer, Tanya cupped a hand around her left ear.
'Wait! Are those... voices?'
Upon closer listening she could make out some whispering.
"We will have to inform the master." a male voice said.
"This development changes nothing. Everything is still in order." responded a woman, clearly exasperated.
"But what if it isn't? The madman's ways are unpredictable!" countered the man.
There seemed to be only two people inside the container based on what Tanya could smell.
"Unpredictable?" scoffed the female voice. "Don't make me laugh. He is a simple man, that Joker. His only drive is his paltry amusement and nothing amuses him more than God's chosen fool."
"Do you mean Batman?"
Her voice got significantly louder: "Who else could I mean, idiot! Only a fool would stand against the League and the fact that he has survived this long despite our best efforts proves that God has blessed him with luck beyond measure! There has to be something special about him, can't you see it!?"
Several seconds went by in silence.
The male voice was a lot more hesitant after that outburst: "Be that as it may, we should still share our findings with your father, Miss."
"Then go do that, but stop yammering about it already!"
"At your leave, Miss."
The door of the container swung open and Tanya leapt backwards, silently ducking behind the corner.
Sadly, it was not silent enough.
"Intruder!" yelled the man and her heart dropped.
In the next breath her pistol was in her hand and her knife in the other. Trouble was truly looking for her it seemed.