A Ladybug/KHR fic where Lal is Marinette with amnesia and Colonello is Adrien hiding from his fans and looking for his Ladybug. XD

For as long as she could remember, it felt like there was a gaping hole in her heart. A hole that lead directly to the memories that she had lost in the accident. Lal could only vaguely remember what happened...most of it was a blur of shock, confusion and then a sharp pain in her head.

Whatever had happened, the accident on that path lead to a very different direction in her life.

If it wasn't for the old soldier who saved her after he found her unconscious body at the bottom of the hill, she might not have made it out of that forest alive. And hearing his stories of his life traveling the world, fighting alongside his comrades had sparked something in her. So much so that she went to the first military base she could find that accepted people without any proper identification and limited ability to speak Italian.

COMSUBIN didn't care that she had no memories of who she was, though apparently they had been impressed that she spoke two languages and was a very hard worker who didn't complain about getting dirty.

Enough so that they let her sign up on a probationary contract. Within three years she had risen from a complete civilian to one of the best trainers on base. Even if her students all considered her a demon trainer, it was definitely out of love.

Or so they claimed, in between joking about her nonexistent love life...which usually set her off into sending them on long, boring as hell runs around the worst areas in the base for hours on end.

On an unrelated note, the number of assaults on base dropped like a stone after Lal started sending her students to certain areas of the base that were less patrolled on their runs. Considering she had a habit of doing "Surprise Runs" when they were trying to sleep, no one wanted to be caught by one of her students.

Coincidentally all the females on the base considered Lal their unofficial hero/role model. Thanks to her the base was just a little bit safer to walk semi-alone at night for the girls.

Lal stretched and let out a loud yawn. There was a new influx of trainees coming in later today and as one of the top trainers she got to pick her personal bitc...er, student.

Generally she stuck with the girls, since it meant they could hide in her room and avoid being harassed by some of the more idiotic men.

However that also went hand in hand with them being turned into her personal errand girl (or boy) and getting extra training on top of that.

Looking at the current stock of rookies, she despaired of finding anyone that would last the entire year with her...until she saw him.

Bright green-blue eyes, golden hair that looked windswept and looking distinctly uncomfortable with the amount of staring going on. He was tanned as if he spent a lot of time outdoors and could have been a model with those looks.

Something in the back of her head told her he was joining the military to get away from modeling... it was pretty damn hard for fangirls to sneak onto a military base and not get busted almost immediately. Why that thought came to her, she had no idea, but the fact was that no one else was even remotely giving the blond man a second look.

It wasn't until later she found out why.

"You're kidding. The guy's a professional model and he's joining us?" said Lal over drinks. She had to make a list of potential assistants before the end of the week, but she kept going back to the blond.

"Apparently he was forced into it by his dad and got tired of all the tabloids speculating about his love life after his girlfriend went missing. We're closed off enough that his fans can't bother him and the press can't get within a mile of him," laughed Ricardo. "Said he'd rather spend a few years learning something useful and let the heat die down before he even remotely considered going back into the civilian population."

Lal couldn't help her snort of amusement.

"Let me guess, he's using an alias to boot."

"Got it in one," said Giovanni. "He picked the first Italian sounding name he could find and the higher ups allowed it so long as he's one of us. Calls himself Colonello, if you can believe it."

"Well as long as he can put in the work and doesn't complain like a pansy, I don't care what his past is," said Lal.

"Someone sounds interested in our new pretty boy," grinned Ricardo.

"You know my policy. I don't date my students...besides, when have I ever let looks sway my opinion of my dates?" she shot back.

"Point. So you're interested in taking him on as your personal bitch for a year?"

"Seriously considering it... none of the others have even remotely caught my interest and I have the feeling this guy is going to surprise all of us."

Colonello looked shocked, then relieved when he heard he was slated as the "personal student" of one of the trainers. That is, until he found out which one.

The expression on his face made Lal want to laugh her ass off. It was pretty clear what his thought process was if he had joined COMSUBIN to get away from his adoring fans and the press.

She did so later in the privacy of her room, but she managed to keep from laughing at his face.

Colonello was in his own private hell. Out of all the trainers on the base, why did it have to be the only female one who picked him?

About the only good thing out of it was that she was at least professional and didn't treat him special because of his looks. He hated that.

"Why so glum?" asked Fred.

"Why did I get stuck with the one girl trainer on base?" he asked.

"...You do realize that you were lucky to be picked in the first place, right? Most of the other trainers took one look at your resume and wanted nothing to do with you," he said slowly.

"Seriously?"

"You're lucky... out of all the girls on the base, the demon trainer is probably the only one who wouldn't take advantage of you. According to what I've heard of her, she pushes her personal bitches... I mean students... extra hard and refuses to date her students. Survive her and you could survive damn near anything," said Fred sagely.

Colonello almost felt relief hearing that.

"There's also an unofficial rumor that she makes her students take runs on random areas of the base, and the girl love her for it."

"Why?"

"It's not really talked about, but there's an unofficial statistic for harassment and assault when it comes to the female soldiers. I've heard a few bastards who try to take advantage of the girls got busted because the Captain sent her students on a surprise run in the middle of the night and they stumbled across it. So only the really stupid try it anymore, at least on base. Last I heard they only got a reprimand for beating the shit out of the idiots they caught."

Seeing the look on the blond's face, Fred patted him on the back.

"I've heard the girl all call Lal Mirch their 'Lucky Charm' because she's making the base safer for them without doing it intentionally. I swear she has god's luck or something with how often she's in the right place at the right time to help others."

"Isn't the usual phrase the devil's own luck?" asked Colonello.

"Considering her luck in love, everyone agrees that for some reason her luck benefits everyone else and only comes back to her as an after thought. Apparently she had a lucky charm as a kid but lost it in the accident."

Colonello was beginning to have a sneaking suspicion build up in his mind.

"What sort of accident?"

"No idea. Only heard a vague rumor that she lost her memories when she was traveling a few years ago, and ended up joining the first chance she had. Been here at least four or five years now," shrugged Fred. "No one is dumb enough to ask, because she gets really unhappy about it and makes the life of anyone who's stupid enough to bring it up into a living hell. It's worse than whenever another guys fails whatever mysterious standard she has for her dates."

That suspicion started to solidify in his mind. Now he just needed to see if he was right.

After a month (which shocked everyone that he didn't quit within the first week of Lal's "special" training) Colonello decided to implement the first part of his plan to see if Lal Mirch was who he thought she was.

He used one of his corniest cat-puns when she was within earshot, and to his surprise and secret relief her head whipped around to look at him in shock.

"That was absolutely horrible," complained Fred.

"What can I say, I love cats. Especially black ones. Can't stand birds though...damn feathers make me sneeze something awful," admitted Colonello. "I have this one cat that loves this god-awful stinky cheese and gets real testy if he doesn't get it."

"Too bad you can't bring pets on the base."

"Nah, I got that covered. Someone's taking care of him until I can get an apartment near the base once the training period is over."

Which was only partially true, not that he'd tell them that.

"Still don't know how you get away with wearing that bulky ring."

"Considering some of the crap I've seen the other rookies try to sneak in and the fact I never take it off, the higher ups generally ignore it," shrugged Colonello.

Someone wearing a bulky ring wasn't something that the higher ups were going to comment on unless it became a problem. And Colonello always put it around his neck if he had to do something finicky with his hands, so it never became an issue in the first place.

In all honesty it was harder to hide Plagg, but he had toned down his behavior since Tikki was forced to go dormant. Without Marinette she couldn't sustain the magic that allowed her to be out and about.

The only reason the earrings hadn't returned to the keeper was because Marinette hadn't died, but was simply missing. The Ladybug Earrings could only bond to one person at a time, and until Marinette was no longer alive she was the only one who could use them.

What Hawkmoth didn't find out until after they had beaten him was that his Kwami had only given him a half-truth about the two most powerful Miraculous. While they could be drained, their full power was only accessible to the people they were bonded to.

Still, out of the base only Lal seemed to find Colonello's absolutely horrible cat puns even remotely amusing...even if she did generally slap him on the back of the head for it.

Lal POV

Colonello was infuriating, and the worst part was that she couldn't take it out on him outside of the less than gentle headslaps because he wasn't doing anything wrong.

Everything about him seemed to scrape her soul raw, and her head was always killing her after a training session or whenever he used those absolutely terrible cat-puns. It felt like she had found the other half of her soul after being lost for so long...and she had no idea why.

More to the point, she had to resist the urge to speak in French of all things when everyone around them was speaking Italian.

Colonello was a hard worker, very dedicated and didn't complain about the relatively light headslaps she gave him. Admittedly, she pulled her strength by quite a bit for reasons she never understood, but that was beside the point.

"Someone totally has a crush on her student," teased Gabriella.

"I do not!" protested Lal embarrassed. She didn't know what she felt about her student, but it wasn't anything as simple as a mere crush.

"You totally do! You're always checking him out when you think he's not looking and you actually hold back when you reprimand him, unlike the other guys. I think you should go for it once the probationary period is up."

"I don't date my students," said Lal automatically.

"He won't be your student in six more months," Alyss pointed out smugly.

"Have you seen my track record?" said Lal miserably.

The patted her on the back. Part of the reason Lal could never hold a man was that she seemed to always come on too strong or too forcefully and drove them off. It was almost like she deliberately set herself up for disappointment when it came to the dating scene and none of the men she dated were ever brave enough to get under her tough as nails exterior.

Colonello, it seemed was immune to the wall of thorns that was dating Lal Mirch. He not only took the hits but he kept coming back for more...with his absolutely terrible cat puns in tow. Just hearing them made everyone groan, but it was a lesser evil compared to some of the quirks the other soldiers had.

Even if he seemed to be looking for something specific in his teacher, no one bothered to ask. As far as anyone could guess he just had a major crush on the woman since she was one of the rare few who treated him like everyone else and not someone special because of his modeling career.

(You could almost hear the groaning of his fan base and the reporters when word got out where he was and that they wouldn't be allowed anywhere near the base in question...and if Colonello happened to jump at wilderness runs to avoid any potential stalkers, well no one was about to comment on it.)

"So what are you doing for your birthday?" asked Gabriella.

"Same thing I do every year. Go out and get completely plastered with my close friends before crashing and then making the trainees see hell for a few days until the hangover passes."

Trainees all hated it whenever Lal Mirch had an excuse to get drunk enough to suffer a hangover. But not as much as when it was 'that time of the month'. She always seemed to take dark pleasure in making everyone suffer with her and spread the misery.

But she wasn't completely heartless. If they looked like they couldn't handle most of what she generally dished out she gave them something boring that wasn't too taxing to let them recover... like peeling potatoes for the mess hall or other boring duties no one particularly enjoyed.

"Well hopefully your potential lover-boy will come up with something extra romantic for you," said Alyss giggling.

"Yeah right. Every guy I've gone out with has either gone the sappy route, or tries to woo me like some sort of warrior maiden. It's ridiculous," scoffed Lal.

A week later on her birthday, she wasn't the least bit surprised to find a small present waiting for her in her personal box. Most of her friends tended to give her their gifts right before they left to get drunk, which left only a few people who would bother to deliver it to her box.

Her chief suspect was her student though. Probably trying to butter her up to avoid the extra training. She knew he would have heard rumors of her habits whenever she was hungover.

So imagine her surprise finding a small, hand-made cake with a simple "Happy Birthday" that was in the shape of a ladybug. Taking a small bite of the treat, she was completely caught off guard by the strange sense of pure nostalgia at the taste. Almost like she had eaten it often enough before for her to recognize the maker purely by the taste alone.

It felt like home and warm hugs and a sense of loss that seemed to stem from her missing memories.

It took her a few moments to register the fact she was crying before she hurriedly wiped away the tears. Almost like she was desperately homesick and missed someone important in her life.

As if that wasn't enough, there was a second smaller box under the one that held a cake.

It was a sketchpad and a professional kit for artists that was very popular with those who liked to design fashion. Alongside that was a basic sewing kit, some rather attractive (if small) fabric samples, thread and a small pair of scissors that folded into themselves.

Lal stared at the rather odd present and the feeling of nostalgia and homesickness hit her harder than ever.

How in the hell did that idiot student of hers know she liked fashion? She always taped fashion week and would privately critique the 'outfits' that went on display. Honestly, there was no accounting for taste when it came to some of those ridiculous designs.

Colonello was one of the few already up when she woke up from her nap to make the trainee's lives hell.

"How was your birthday?"

"You. How in the hell did you know I like fashion?" she demanded.

Colonello blinked.

"Overheard one of the other trainers mentioning you always taped fashion week," he said. Which wasn't entirely true, as he was mostly making a guess based on his suspicions, but he had heard someone making a comment to that effect at one point.

"Really. You happen to hear I like to watch fashion week and for some reason decided to anonymously deliver a professional sketchpad, pencils and that small sewing kit?" she said openly skeptical.

"That was actually a lucky hunch. It was harder getting the cake here on time," admitted Colonello. "Especially considering the owners of the bakery generally close down on that particular day."

Mostly because it was their missing daughter's birthday.

Lal continued to give him odd looks, even as she was making everyone else very miserable. Colonello merely laughed when she pelted him with potato peelings for making one of his horrible puns... at the suggestion of the others he had started to branch out a bit and was considered even worse.