She honestly did not know how the hell anyone expected her to survive as a Mafia Boss without getting very, very drunk every once in a while without any of her Guardians to bother her.

Hell, they were the reason she had been driven to drink in secret in the first place!

Tsubame Sawada, aka Vongola Decimo, took another long pull of her drink.

Today had been particularly awful, and thus had driven her to flee the mansion for a few hours to get drunk off her ass until Lambo came back and figured out which bar she was at to drag her home...or more precisely to a Vongola owned hotel where she could sleep off the booze until the hangover dulled down enough that she could deal with her life as a mafia boss.

Out of all her Guardians, it was little Lambo who had found out about her drinking habits. He had said nothing, merely kept his silence and helped her home after.

"Now what's a beautiful woman like you drinking all alone?" purred a voice to her side.

It took every ounce of willpower to not choke on the scotch she was drinking the second she realized Reborn was flirting with her. More to the point, she didn't see an ounce of recognition in his eyes.

She knew her disguise was good, but not that good.

Debating her choices, she decided that it would be well worth the look on his face if he finally figured out who she was. So she played along.

"Well isn't this a surprise. Who would have guessed I'd attract the attention of the World's Greatest Hit Man himself?" she purred right back. She rather enjoyed the flicker of surprise that she knew exactly who he was and wasn't afraid of him.

This was going to be hilarious... or not, if Reborn took offense to the fact his former student had played him like a fiddle.

Reborn got over his shock quickly enough. His smirk was positively predatory. He openly looked her up and down and evidently liked what he saw.

"I'll have what she's having."

Reborn took one sip and his estimation of the mystery female went up. This was good high quality scotch.

"So why are you drinking alone?"

"Because I needed a break and I'm too damn nice for my own good," said Tsubame.

If she were any less of a 'saint' she would have snapped and told her Guardians off years ago for the migraines they gave her. Instead she seethed in silence and got drunk.

As the night progressed, her amusement only rose in proportion to Reborn's clear interest in her. The fact he didn't even recognize her (then again she had never dared to flirt with him or anyone for that matter) only made it even funnier.

It wouldn't be until morning when she was feeling decidedly sore and an odd feeling of warmth in her chest that she realized maybe she had taken it a wee bit too far and should have enlightened him to who he was flirting with. But to be honest she was so happy that someone she knew she could trust was bothering to flirt with her at all that she would have had great difficulty stopping herself anyway.

Between her guardians, her work and the fact that she had to be leery of people trying to get in her pants in order to get something over the Vongola, her love life had been completely nonexistent. So much so that Hayato had made it a point to do background checks on anyone who so much as dared to voice having a crush on her.

Tsubame remembered everything that happened, and in spite of the raging hangover managed to slip out of the room the next morning before Reborn woke up. She was still surprised he didn't realize who she was even after taking her clothes out.

Meh. He was a big boy and she had heard things about his habits towards women. It probably wasn't the first time one of his one-night stands had disappeared on him after a very fun night and it likely wouldn't be the last. It wasn't like he'd be able to equate "Fiammata" with his no-good student after all. Not if he hadn't recognized her in the first place.

Slipping back into the mansion was easy. Being busted by Hayato and Mukuro when they realized she had a hangover was not.

The fact Ryohei thought it a bright idea to use his normal volume level at breakfast despite her raging hangover made it far worse. Lambo took one look at her face, before promptly downing his breakfast in seconds and bolting out of the mansion. He wasn't stupid enough to get caught in the blast zone that was long overdue, thank you very much.

"Ryohei... shut the hell up," snarled Tsubame.

The fact she swore and told the Sun to be quiet in such a rude manner caused everyone to go completely silent.

"Let's get one thing perfectly straight. I have had it up to here with the fact you lot insist on acting like damn mother hens around me and the amount of paperwork your damn antics cause! Do you lot have any idea how much time I have to waste doing paperwork trying to make up for your behavior?"

The Guardians were giving her looks as if she were a wild animal about to bite their heads off, which wasn't too far off the mark.

She looked to each and every one of them in turn.

"Hayato, I love you dearly but could you please quit taking offense at every minor remark against the Vongola? And the backgrounds checks have got to stop. If I catch you blowing up another wing of the mansion just to keep pretending you're not dating Takeshi, I will have all your ammo confiscated."

Hayato looked suitably chastised hearing that.

"Takeshi, please quit it with the 'clueless Rain' act. It's been giving me migraines for years because I'm absolutely terrified that you aren't taking any of this seriously and it's going to get you killed. And I don't give a damn if you date Hayato."

Takeshi looked sheepish, but happy that she accepted their relationship.

"Mukuro, if anyone has a reason to burn this damn famiglia down it's me, so if I catch you traumatizing any more idiots I am going to kick your ass personally. And if you must poke the bear that is Kyouya, then do it somewhere I won't be obligated to pick up the bill or file paperwork for repairs for it. Otherwise I will start spreading rumors that all the fighting you do with Kyouya is actually foreplay for your S and M relationship with Kyouya as the one doing the topping," deadpanned Tsubame.

Seeing the suitably offended looks on Kyouya and Mukuro's faces, she looked at the Cloud Guardian.

"Kyouya, I honestly could not care less if you and Dino are going at it like bunnies. But if I have to clean up after one of your rampages one more damn time I am going to video tape it and share it with the entire Cosa Nostra and then imply heavily that you're in a three-way relationship with Dino and Mukuro."

The shocked look in Kyouya's eyes was entirely worth it. She should have busted him sooner.

"Ryohei, I get that you are an 'extreme' man. But for the love of the gods, could you please tone down the yelling? It's bad enough you've all driven me to go out drinking regularly with Xanxus, but I really don't want to deal with my raging hangovers while you're shouting at your usual volume level."

Hayato wasn't the only one staring at her.

"You go drinking with Xanxus?"

"He has good taste in strong liquor and doesn't judge when I join him. That and he's a safe person to rant to about the headaches you all give me while he bitches about his own men. Besides, Lussuria heals over the liver damage by morning anyway."

"Kufufufu... and what about Lambo? I notice he's not here," said Mukuro, trying to get over the shock that Tsubame was giving them all the riot act.

Her look was particularly flat.

"Lambo was the only one of you jerks that noticed how miserable I was and was nice enough to keep his silence about my drinking habits. He's the one who usually drags me to a hotel to sleep it off or brings me home and doesn't ask stupid questions. After all he has plenty of experience with me being hung over to recognize the signs and get the hell out first," said Tsubame flatly. She took polished off her water, before glaring at them all. "Now if you don't mind I'm going to get some actual sleep. If any of you are stupid enough to wake me before dinner then I make no promises on your continued survival or ability to procreate."

They all looked at each other, then at the way Tsubame left the room. They could clearly hear her slam her bedroom door and none of them were particularly inclined to piss her off when she was acting like this.

That being said Hayato was particularly shocked to find an almost full bar in her office. There was a mini-fridge full of ice, several bottles of high quality, high proof liquor (half of which were open and some were half-way gone), and several glasses that looked like they got regular use.

Takeshi called Squalo, mostly to confirm Tsubame wasn't joking about being a drinking buddy of Xanxus.

"VOI! You idiots finally figured it out that you've been driving her to drink? I thought it was only the lightning brat who knew!"

The Guardians couldn't help but be plagued by guilt, realizing that Tsubame had kept a lot of her real feelings bottled up inside. That and she had known that a few of her Guardians were actually dating but too shy to admit it.

Tsubame felt her stomach roll, and the nausea hit her hard again. It was only through sheer force of will that she didn't throw up, and that was only because Hayato was in the room.

It had been two and a half months since the "Incident" as her Guardians were calling it.

While they had mostly backed off with their mother hen attitudes or come out with their respective partners (Dino had been rather apologetic about the entire thing, once he found out she had known for almost two years that he was sleeping with her Cloud), that didn't mean they weren't keeping a watchful eye on her.

After finding half her stash, Hayato had taken to keeping a hawk-like watch over the liquor levels so he would know if they had pushed her to the brink again.

Except her Hyper Intuition warned her firmly against drinking anything, so she had to suffer the past couple of months sober. Unfortunately.

Eyeing a particular stack of papers, her eyebrows twitched.

If her Hyper Intuition wasn't going to let her drink, then she would have to do something else to relieve her annoyance. She scrolled through her contacts before her Intuition purred when she reached the "F" section. Her finger was on the name "Fon" and an evil idea occurred to her.

Well, Kyouya had been particularly bitchy since she busted him over the fact he was dating Dino and she threatened to spread rumors of a threesome with Mukuro involved.

And this would definitely amuse her to the point her migraine might go away. If not, maybe Fon knew some pressure points to help.

She made the call, and a week later the Chinese Storm, openly amused at her request came in. Hayato was currently on a mission and Kyouya had no idea she had called the former Storm Arcobaleno in.

She was about to greet Fon...when she caught his expression.

"What?"

"...Are you aware that you're pregnant?" he asked slowly.

Tsubame paled.

"What?!" she nearly shrieked.

"You didn't know?" he asked.

Tsubame desperately wanted to introduce her head to her desk.

"I thought it was the flu... oh god, Reborn is going to kill me."

Reborn was the only person she slept with within the past three months.

"I'm sure he'd be more interested in threatening whoever you slept with," said Fon calmly. "Unless it was one of your Guardians."

Tsubame's dark snort made Fon frown.

"Please, Hayato is dating Takeshi, Ryohei's married to Hana, Chrome and Mukuro have been an item since he was freed and Kyouya is currently in a relationship with Dino, and Lambo is my little brother."

"You do at least know who the potential father is, right?" asked Fon worriedly. If only because Reborn would be downright murderous until he tracked the culprit down.

Never mind what the rest of her Guardians would do.

Tsubame groaned.

"Chaos. What's Fon doing here?" asked Reborn. It was the first time he had bothered to visit the Vongola in over two months.

He had been busy looking for that cute little Sky who had somehow managed to harmonize with him.

"She called me in to 'play' with Kyouya. Are you aware your student is pregnant?" asked Fon.

Reborn's eyes narrowed.

"You're pregnant?"

"I have no idea. I thought it was just a bad case of stomach flu, and ever since I reamed my Guardians a new one they've been avoiding me. Well except Hayato...he's been too busy keeping an eye on my stash in case I get hungover again."

Reborn raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean 'hungover again'?" he demanded.

Perhaps it was the Reborn's potential reaction, or perhaps it was the stress of finding out she might be pregnant.

"You're the idiot who didn't realize who he was flirting with two and a half months ago," she snapped. "I have to admit, I thought you would have caught on to the fact it was me at the bar, but somehow you missed all the little clues as to who I was."

Reborn's eyes went wide as he realized what she meant.

He stalked over to her, likely to confirm she actually was pregnant and looked like someone had slapped him silly with a fish. Fon blinked as he felt the rising panic in Reborn's Flames.

Tsubame gave into the urge and let her head lightly hit the desk in despair.

This was going to be a nightmare trying to explain this to everyone.

"Where's your stash?" asked Reborn flatly. God, he needed a drink after today.

Tsubame pressed a button under her desk, revealing an almost full bar. Fon and Reborn had to blink when they saw the selection.

"This is a lot of high quality liquor," said Fon evenly. He was starting to suspect why Reborn and Tsubame were both acting off.

"I started drinking with Xanxus, and he was more than happy to get my own collection started," deadpanned Tsubame.

A scant hour later, Shamal confirmed Fon's diagnosis. He was more interested in why Reborn looked very much like he wanted to get very, very drunk and was already starting.

"So... any idea who the father is?" asked Shamal cheerfully.

"Would you believe me if I said that it was Reborn? And that it's his own fault for not recognizing me at the bar?" deadpanned Tsubame.

Shamal snorted...until he realized that no one else was laughing.

"Wait... you're serious?" he said incredulous.

"I was drinking alone and he comes up smooth at silk and started flirting with him. You know what he's like and I was waiting for him to recognize me. I wasn't expecting it to go so far as sleeping with him," she said cattily. "The second I realized what happened I got cleaned up and booked."

Reborn looked positively annoyed by that.

"Which means I spent the last two and a half months on a wild goose chase thanks to you," he said irritable. "If I had known you were the Sky I harmonized with, I would have stuck around sooner."

"You missed me ripping most of my guardians a new one or threatening to blackmail Kyouya and Mukuro after I got back to the mansion," she informed him. That only served to annoy him further.

"What did you threaten Kyouya with?" asked Fon curiously.

"Told him to either knock it off with his habit of causing so much destruction or I'd tape him going at it with Dino and imply he was in a threesome with Mukuro involved."

Fon choked with open amusement. No wonder Kyouya had been annoyed recently.