When Reborn was told to teach the last potential heir to the Vongola into becoming Decimo, he hadn't thought much of it.
That was before he reached Namimori and developed an intense urge to murder Iemitsu in the most painful way possible.
The 'house' he was sent to was empty and it took several inquiries to find out where the girl actually was.
Only to arrive right as the house blew up and enraged feminine shriek erupted from the scene.
Reborn's eyebrows went up...he normally didn't see this sort of thing until after he started causing chaos. He followed the source of the shriek and found his new student.
"For the love of the gods! How many times do I have to tell you not to play with explosives inside the house?! Now we have to rebuild it again!"
Reborn stared.
Did his new student just say 'again'? As in the house had blown up before?!
"It wasn't our fault!" complained a face he vaguely recognized. Mostly because of the boy's sister. "Verde left one of his experiments out and you know how Jumba gets when he's bored and feeling competitive!"
Reborn's mind did a sudden stop...right as his pacifier started glowing.
As if his day hadn't been weird enough, Verde popped out of the rubble looking quite irate at what was either a genetic throwback, or far more likely an alien.
"You damn idiot, I told you to leave my experiments alone!"
"Calculations is wrong! Is simple fix!" said the alien arguing. From the lab coat Reborn could only guess the other being was a 'mad scientist' as well.
It was about that time Verde noticed his pacifier glowing, then searched around to find Reborn.
"Oh great, now your idiocy has drawn the chaos magnet to our lab!" he groaned.
Reborn felt perfectly justified in shooting at him. He already had a headache and was feeling rather murderous towards Iemitsu, and he hadn't even introduced himself yet.
"Explanations. Now. Before I break out the bigger guns," said Reborn flatly, rubbing his head from the migraine he had.
"Stitch would get rid of them," his soon-to-be student informed him. "We don't allow human weapons in the house, because Jumba has an annoying habit of trying to one-up them. It was hard enough to get him to leave Keiman alone."
"I don't care. I want to know what the hell is going on before I really start to up the havoc factor," said Reborn flatly. He really missed being able to say 'chaos' without the word coming out mangled.
"While these idiots fix up the house, would you like to get some coffee?"
"Please," said Reborn.
At the cafe
"So just to be clear, Stitch (the blue 'koala' thing waved at him...while chugging the premium coffee like a pro) crash landed in the forest outside of town while you were lost on a school trip, managed to bond to you the same way Leon and Keiman are bonded to us as your partner, and you managed to argue that his 'sentence' be carried out on Earth because he was actually behaving around you and it meant they wouldn't have to deal with his antics anymore. As a side effect you are now the caretaker of his 'siblings', the idiot who created them and a highly misinformed 'expert' on Earth and it's inhabitants with a preference for female clothing," said Reborn.
That headache was only getting worse.
"I'm still confused why Mama was sent to that hospital and why Bubbles-san gave custody over to Uncle Jumba. Then again it wasn't like my father was ever going to come back, since he died a long time ago."
Reborn briefly entertained the idea of telling her the truth about Iemitsu being alive, but considering that idiot didn't even know his wife had been committed and a pair of aliens were now acting as her guardians or that Verde of all people was living in the same house as her, he deserved the chaos of finding out the hard way how much had gone on while he kept his wife in the dark. Besides, the look on his face would almost be worth the headaches he could already see coming his way when his daughter found out he was still alive.
The idiot deserved all the trouble this bunch was almost certainly going to give him for his long absence.
"And the two humans?"
"Hayato came when Jumba decided to troll the internet, specifically the chat boards regarding 'first contact' and the possibility of alien life. It had been a slow month since I banned him from the labs and he was bored. Next thing we knew, Hayato managed to hack into the cameras and when he realized he was talking to an actual alien he came straight here and never left. Verde showed up after Stitch hacked into his computers and played havoc before Jumba caught him. The second he realized the potential for new experiments and weaponry, he decided to stick around and bring my education up to what he considered standard. The fact he didn't have to cook or worry that we'd steal his experiments in order to sell to the highest bidder was the main reason though," said Hikari. "It really didn't hurt that Jumba could provide what he considered an 'intelligent' conversation for once."
Reborn wanted to comment on that, but he could see it happening.
"So why are you here anyway?"
"I'm here to turn you into a mafia boss. Though considering what I saw earlier, I can honestly say I'm going to enjoy the sheer havoc you're about to unleash on the underworld once you come into your own. At the very least it would give the idiot scientists a bigger lab and research budget to play with and your 'friends' a bit more protection from the various governments if they were under mafia control."
"Which Family am I from?"
"Vongola," said Reborn.
"Hayato is going to be thrilled then. He's always wanted to be a high ranking member of the Vongola."
"Considering his background, he would make a suitable Right Hand and Storm," said Reborn.
"So what's your chameleon's name?" asked Hikari. She wasn't rejecting the idea outright and from the looks of things his antics wouldn't be more than an addition to what she already handled on a daily basis.
Reborn accepted the change of subject gratefully.
"His name is Leon."
Leon crawled onto Reborn's hand, turning into a gun...and earning the intense interest of Stitch.
The odd koala-dog thing said something in a language he didn't remotely recognize, but somehow Leon understood well enough.
Because he promptly turned into a mini version of Stitch, which had Hikari holding back a squeal at how cute he looked.
Stitch seemed satisfied though.
Hikari picked him up and put Stitch in her lap.
"This is Stitch. He's my best friend slash bodyguard, since certain idiots keep trying to come after me with lethal intent for some reason."
Stitch grinned at Reborn, with all his teeth showing.
"Is there any particular reason he's vibrating at the moment?" asked Reborn blandly.
Hikari smiled at him with a wicked grin.
"You like chaos, anarchy and all around mayhem, right?"
Reborn smiled beatifically at her, which cause anyone who saw it to shudder at the unholy look in his eyes.
It caused Hikari and Stitch to share a silent look, before Hikari beamed at him in a way that produced sunshine and sparkles...and just as much 'innocence' as Reborn was giving off.
"I think we'll get along just fine, Reborn. Anyway Stitch tends to get a bit...active...when he has enough caffeine in him. If you're ever really bored and want to see some chaos, just give him a large cup of high quality or highly caffeinated coffee and he'll deliver some chaos that will drive a lot of people up the wall. Right before he goes to play with Kyouya, because he can't really do anything to hurt Stitch and Stitch likes riling him up."
The only reason Kyouya tolerated Stitch's presence (and that of his 'siblings') was because Stitch was a surprisingly good hand to hand fighter. He overcame his small size by using reinforced staffs and he enjoyed 'playing' with Kyouya when the teen was bored. It was a difficult and fun challenge for the older boy to fight something smaller than him that was highly intelligent, had four arms and was damn near indestructible by normal means.
Though as a courtesy...and because he didn't want to end the fight too fast...they never went at it around water.
He called Stitch the "protective carnivore", which made Stitch very pleased since coming from Kyouya it was a high compliment.
Then again he called Gantu the 'fake omnivore' the first time he met the "man", since he kept getting beaten by Stitch every time he tried to arrest him for causing trouble.
Reborn had a wicked gleam in his eyes.
"I only ever drink the high quality brands, and I personally grind my own beans. I won't accept that generic crap or anything instant."
"Oh thank the gods!" said Hikari, surprising Reborn greatly. "Finally, someone with actual sense when it comes to coffee! Those idiot scientists will drink rat poison and claim it's coffee, and they simply refuse to see reason when it comes to actual quality."
"Really now."
Hikari had a pained looked and pulled out the name of the "idiot scientists" favorite coffee brand. Reborn only had to take one look at it before he agreed with her.
"That is not coffee. I don't know what that abomination is, but it is an insult to proper coffee beans everywhere," he said flatly. Hikari nodded in absolute agreement, as did Stitch.
"I will put up with almost anything you do, or have Stitch do when you're bored, if you're willing to share your coffee."
"Deal," said Reborn immediately. He could already tell he was going to enjoy teaching his new student.
Reborn was both annoyed...and elated.
He was annoyed because someone had the audacity to die his hair blue, and elated because it had been years since someone had successfully gotten him with a prank.
It meant he might actually have a challenge on his hands, which meant he could open up on his delightful bag of tricks. It almost made up for the fact they were staying in the hotel for a few days while Jumba and Verde rebuilt the house they blew up.
Considering this happened regularly, and their real labs were kept in the spaceship that Jumba had which could be relocated off world if the experiment was too explosive (the Grand Councilwoman was clear that they couldn't leave the Milky Way, but that was a small price to pay...drove astronomers nuts trying to explain the random explosions on Mars though...) that wasn't easily found, they had the local construction companies on speed dial and got a special discount.
The fact he could enter space and even go to the moon and see it for himself had been a major selling point and one of the reasons why Hayato never left. He absolutely loved his new life in Namimori and would happily give up his old one as part of the mafia in a heartbeat.
Jumba liked him because Hayato had a proper 'appreciation' for his creations and the fact Hayato actually had a brain. It was rare for the mad scientist to come up with anything that Hayato couldn't pick up after more than a week or two.
(Hayato was officially in charge of the household budget, which he didn't mind too much.)
Seeing a smirking Stitch, he knew he had his culprit.
"Just out of curiosity is that partner of yours bulletproof?" asked Reborn blandly.
"Bulletproof, fireproof, Flame resistant unless it's mine, has a super computer for a brain, can play records simply by placing his claw on them and opening his mouth...don't ask how we found that out though Stitch is now a die-hard Elvis fan, and is a chaos-magnet when loaded up on enough coffee," said Hikari without hesitation.
Reborn looked at Stitch who 'tried' for innocent and smirked.
"You're now officially my new favorite target practice," he said bluntly, before bringing out Leon. He had found Hikari wasn't joking about Jumba taking the more 'modern' weapons found on Earth as "something that needed to be upgraded", though out of respect for the house rules he kept all the lethal armaments out of the house and mostly restricted to off-world labs, because several of his lesser guns had gotten a few tweaks added to them without his permission or knowledge.
As such he was stuck to using Leon, as Hikari had banned the 'special' experimentation on all partners since that was the very thing that got Jumba in trouble in the first place.
He still didn't know what to think of Pleakley, though he could already tell he would have to do a lot of revision on what the alien knew of human customs.
He could live with the cross dressing, since he was a fan of cosplay himself and had gone as a woman before.
The sad thing was that Pleakley was the best 'female' role model his student had at the moment, and he was technically a GUY.