In Plain Sight
Ritsuko had been staring at the ceiling for hours.
She found no use denying it any further. Ritsuko hated Naoko Akagi, her mother, the scientist, no… the woman she threw away any dignity about herself to emulate, with every fiber of her being. That hate screamed in her soul, threatening to burst at any second. She already hated being compared to anyone, let alone that precious doll Gendo keeps around him, but how Naoko could sneer and insult her from a pedestal? One she had not earned? Despicable. How can one do horrible things and leave a legacy unmatched? Where was Ritsuko?
Here, in bed with her lover, the man who brought them both so low. Just like Naoko said. Just like her mother said. Ritsuko felt sick with herself every night she came here, looking to find any semblance of love only to find cold, passionless blue eyes staring back at her soul. Her body did not drink in warmth, only pain.
The man awoke relaxed. Whether he was oblivious to her inner conflict or did not want to mention it Ritsuko hoped not to know. She wanted at least something close to her chest after she bared himself to him.
"Good morning Ritsuko."
Her eyes darted to him as he spoke. Gendo said her name. He had done so countless times before but Ritsuko registered what she couldn't, no, refused to see before. Gendo spoke her name not with reverence, but in indifference. The same tone he used with everyone, including the Sub-Commander, he used for her. Ritsuko nearly cried. There was nothing between even as he reached towards her.
"I want this to end."
Gendo's hand stopped at the words. His eyes widened, shocked it seemed, before pulling away. His composure remained.
"Stop what?"
"Us. This thing we have…" Ritsuko pointed everywhere around the room. "I don't want it. I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry."
"Hmmm…" Gendo hummed. "What brought this change of heart?"
For a second Ritsuko wanted to lay it out there. Tell him the truth. Slap him. Beg for him. Anything. Instead, she sighed.
"I don't have to explain myself to you." Ritsuko kept herself cool. "I'll do anything else you ask. I'll continue to help you with the scenario. I won't tell anyone what we did or what we're doing. I just… I just can't do this anymore."
A minute became an hour. Ritsuko continued to stare at the familiar ceiling, trying not to give attention the man next to her. He did not do anything which left her curious. Was there hope he would see reason?
"Very well." She heard him say, the sheets rustling. "So long as you continue with your duty then there is nothing left to be said."
A phone rang. Ritsuko gasped out a breath in relief upon hearing it. She had expected the conversation to have gone in a worse direction, especially given who she was talking to, but Gendo was feeling merciful. Or cocky. With him, it was hard to tell the difference. He picked up the phone, nodding and murmuring words that Ritsuko wouldn't hear.
It wasn't much of a victory. Ritsuko didn't count it as one. She could still hear her mother laughing at her as she turned out the world. Any future outside of this was something she had to find out herself. She hoped to see Misato and Maya today. Maybe they could help.
The phone was slammed shut.
"It seems fate has frowned upon us." Gendo said. "Your assistant is being arrested as we speak."
Ritsuko's hair raised at that. "What? Why is she there?"
"Ibuki had been caught stealing files in our office. Or so the official story goes." Gendo glowered at her. "We'll need to make a show of her interrogation for the inspector."
"But sir- what would Ibuki-?" Ritsuko swallowed something. "What's going on?"
"No doubt a scheme from the old men. Section-2 informed me that they had security footage of your assistant stealing something from the NERV basement. They traced it back to the black out incident."
Somewhere Naoko was still laughing. Ritsuko wasn't sure if she shouldn't laugh herself.
"What did she steal?"
"I think you already know, Akagi. It was Adam."
Maya Ibuki smiled as she mixed the eggs.
The mornings went as usual for the Lieutenant. Get up, look over unheard messages on the receiver, take a shower, cook breakfast, get work. Ritsuko's a busy woman who'll need all the help she can get, so Maya couldn't afford to be late. Ritsuko wouldn't want her to be late anyway.
"Hmhm hmhm hmmm…" Maya paid attention the eggs frying in the pan. "Wonder if Aoba finished the track already. Would love to hear it…"
She wasn't particularly close to Shigeru Aoba or Makoto Hyuuga. They meet at work, shoot the breeze about life, but inevitably work came first and a lot needed to get done. A shame really. Maya heard Shigeru play the guitar one time, and he was pretty good at it! She wondered if he'd let her hear his music if she asked him.
"Probably not." Maya chuckled. "Guy's so depressing sometimes."
After eating her food, she washed the dishes. Maya glanced over to a picture of herself and Ritsuko. She had worked with the doctor for months now, and each day she couldn't help but wonder how in the world Ritsuko could handle the pressure of sharing the head scientist position with her mother, that insane terrorist. Maya heard the gossip and rumors, how Ritsuko slept with the Commander, how one of these days she would break down and kill them all. She had her mother's brains and blood so it was bound to happen.
Nonsense. Just nonsense.
Maya ignored them because she knew Ritsuko. She wasn't just her boss, but her friend. Her… Maya swallowed something in her throat. Ritsuko deserved so much better than being placed in the same boat as her mother. She was certainly smarter and kinder than her! If only Ritsuko could see that… how Maya felt about her.
Forming a blush upon thinking that, Maya heard the bell ring. She sighed, moving away from the sink to open the door.
"Hello? Sorry I was getting ready to head to- Ryoji Kaji?"
Kaji didn't have his usual cunning grin, the one that Maya would admit privately creeped her out a bit. Instead, he was frowning. There were Section Two agents flanking him.
"What are you doing here?"
"Sorry to say Maya," Kaji said. "You're being brought in for questioning."
The agents moved around her. Maya was confused.
"What do you mean? What did I do?"
They already placed the cuffs on her. Maya felt an increasing sensation of horror. She struggled against the agents as they grabbed her arms, holding her in place.
"What the hell Kaji?!" Maya shouted. "Whatever I did I didn't-! What did I do?!"
Kaji only grabbed a cigar, puffing smoke right in her face.
"You're under arrest for stealing classified government files from NERV. As the U.N. Inspector, I'm here to recover the property."
Little Toya saw bright red and orange embers through the closet.
He hid in there as the fire burned his room to ash. His father already left, having taken his brothers with them. The boy's innocent mind couldn't remember how it started. He heard random words like "broken cables" and "combustion" but not how they connected. All Toya knew was that if he was out there, he would die.
So he stayed in the closet, where he would be safe. The fire won't hurt him. Any minute now, Toya's parents will come for him, whisper sweet loving words and save him from this inferno. Toya will survive.
He hoped he would survive. The ever rising heat evidently disagreed with him. The door burned to a black crisp before Toya's eyes. Old clothes and jackets burned in front of him. He teared up.
"Help…" He cried out. "Help! Somebody help!"
They weren't coming. No one was coming. He would not live past today, not able to see his brothers or father. Maybe he would see his mother soon.
"HELP! HELP ME!"
"Don't worry I'm here! Hang on!"
A foreign voice. Toya never heard him before. It wasn't any of his brothers, nor his dad, but someone was here. He heard the sound of wood being smashed and fire crackling at a presence. Toya blinked, the embers briefly passing through his eyes before he could see again.
"Y-you're him!"
"Hang on kid!" Spider-Man pulled him close to his chest. "We need to get out of here. Hang on my back."
As he positioned himself to his back, Toya thought about the hero that came. He had heard stories of the Spider-Man, the one who saved countless in another city and fought various supervillains, like those out of a comic book. Now he was here. Holding him tight, Toya knew that in this inferno, Spider-Man would be his salvation.
Toya saw everything on fire. Favorite posters, old walls, kitchen tools, it was all disappearing quickly. Toya watched Spider-Man break down a burning door with a strong kick. How did someone like him get so strong?
"Okay okay, make up an escape plan Spidey." Spider-Man said. "Where to go?"
Spider-Man moved fast, gripping the boy's legs as gently as he could while searching around. Parts of the ceiling already fell, blocking the windows, making the ash harsher and harder to see through. He needed to find a way out now.
"Hey kid," He looked to Toya, "I'm gonna make a way out. Try to be brave for me okay?"
Toya nodded. If Spider-Man was asking him, then he shall be brave. He closed his eyes.
"Okay… Here we…"
Spider-Man launched two web lines at a wall. He pulled back as hard, using his feet to attach himself to the floor. His feet needed the power to push through.
"GO!"
SMASH!
Spider-Man launched another web line through the air, using his agile move set to avoid the debris he created, landing on the floor with the kid no worse for wear. Firefighters looked on in reluctance. Police looked with skepticism.
"Spider-Man! TOYA!"
Toya's family looked on in relief. Spider-Man gently brought Toya to his father, who hugged his boy fiercely, the brothers looked on in concern and awer. The father stared at the wall crawler, and smiled.
"Thank you. I don't know what I would do if I lost any of my children."
Spider-Man only waved at him, before swinging away on another web line. As he moved through the air Shinji could only grin. He was alright with fighting the occasional bad guy, but moments like these? Where he saved a life? Those moments meant more to him than anything else he did as Spider-Man. He saved another from a burning inferno.
Not like her. Not like… Mayumi.
"WOO! Spider-Man saving people baby, let's keep a tally!"
"Give it a rest Ken."
Shinji's smile only fell a little, recovering at the voices on the radio. Kensuke Aida and Touji Suzuhara helped him every step of the way. He would always be grateful.
"Guys no need to keep a tally. Doing good is what a hero's supposed to do right?"
"It sure is! We're still no closer to findin' the Scorpion guy though."
The Scorpion was still at large. In spite of their best efforts, Shinji and his friends were no closer to finding the creature than when they started. The best they had managed was tracks in the sewers and the occasional trash that Kensuke wanted to salvage for his military otaku collection. Shinji and Touji would roll their eyes at him.
"We'll find him when we do Touji, but it's like Shinji said. He's a superhero, WE'RE superheroes, we gotta protect the people too. Wouldn't be superhero work if there's no saving."
"I know but… I'm still worried Ken."
"Don't worry Touji. We will find him." Shinji reassured. "Umm… guys, do you mind if I ask a question?"
"That depends Ikari. Will you finally give us free access to an Eva?"
"Dude he's a pilot, no way he can give you the clearance!"
"Oh come on you're not curious? What if they have more hot babes like Misato?"
"I had my fun when we nearly got killed by the Dildo Angel, Hikari's already hot enough for me."
"Whoaaaahhh is the ship canon?"
"KEN!"
"Okay okay what's your question Ikari?"
"Well," Shinji hesitated. "Do you think I should tell Misato who I am? That I'm Spider-Man?"
"Misato? That violet haired vision of sexiness? Why the hell not, she's fun!"
"I dunno Ken. Military woman like her… I'm not sure is gonna like what you're doing Ikari."
"I know what you mean Touji but I don't like lying to Misato. I feel like I have to say something."
"Your call, but I don't recommend it. NERV is still on the manhunt for Spider-Man. I'm not sure if she'll accept you or throw you in the deepest cell and flush away the key."
"Good point Touji but maybe if she knows that Shinji is Spider-Man she'll be more accepting?"
"Maybe… I don't know, it doesn't seem like the right time. At the very least don't tell her about us, I don't feel like getting arrested.
"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it Touji. I'll call you guys back, I have a Synch Test today."
Spider-Man turned off the ear piece. He landed directly outside of NERV, in a spot between the cameras that would protect him from getting spotted. It was also convenient for changing into his regular clothes. After the fiasco with the last Angel Shinji hoped to never have his privacy violated so thoroughly ever again.
After a few minutes Shinji was already whistling innocently while walking down the hallway. He remembered that he was going to take a back seat this time so Asuka would be tested in his Eva while Rei and Kaworu would be in other Evas. Shinji would still wear the plugsuit, because the military had their stupid protocols he had to follow. He opened the door to the bathroom, finding a rather irritating smirking Angel staring at him.
"You finally came Ikari. I was waiting for you."
"Of course you'd be here." Shinji rolled his eyes. "Shouldn't you be testing or something?."
"It's in a few minutes." Kaworu shrugged. "You don't have to sound so annoyed."
"Well it's not like you've been forgiven. You know, for what you said about Spider-Man."
"I spoke nothing but truth. It is up to you whether you accept it or not."
"Whatever." Shinji grabbed the edges of his sleeves, "Try not to stare, Nagisa?"
Kaworu raised an eyebrow at that. He was about to ask what Shinji meant until the other boy took off his shirt. The school uniform did well to hide Shinji's well toned body, his chest and abs noticeably defined and thick, no doubt from practice as a superhero. Nagisa's eyes widened more and more at the sight, his cheeks colored a shade of red.
"I told you not to stare."
Kaworu blinked. "My apologies. I was… not prepared for…"
"Yeah," Shinji blushed himself, looking away. "After the spider bit me, I was, uh, a bit shocked that I woke up in the ceiling and had these muscles. Being Spider-Man keeps them sharp I guess."
Well… Kaworu supposed the spider had it's advantages.
"So um… Anything I need to know?" Shinji changed the topic quickly. "Before the test I mean?"
"Well aside from you're lack of participation, I can't recall anything specific. We will be missing someone from the Bridge."
"Really? Who?"
"Lieutenant Ibuki. She is currently under investigation for potential treason."
"There are many horrifying things that I experienced in this world. Being in an Eva that isn't my own? Probably on the top ten."
Asuka had been mouthing off since the tests began. While Ayanami and Nagisa tried to focus, synching their minds to the Evas, Asuka couldn't help but be thoroughly annoyed.
"I mean, I'm not so precious about my Eva anymore but it just doesn't feel right. It's still mine ya know?"
"Yeah we know Asuka," Misato rubbed the tip of her nose in frustration. "It's just for the one test. We need all our pilots compatible after all."
"Why leave Shinji out of it? Don't tell me he's special enough he doesn't need to pilot?!"
"I highly doubt that Asuka." Shinji said. "I'll probably get tested after all of you."
Misato and Shinji were watching the tests from behind the glass. Ritsuko was looking forlorn, her emotionless mask having given away to visible fear. She was smoking that cigar harder than usual.
"We won't be doing more tests." She said. "You're leaving early."
"Aw, thank God!" Asuka smirked. "Don't want to spend any more hours on this. Wanna hang out Ayanami?"
"I cannot today." Rei said. "The Commander requested my presence."
"Shit when do you have free time?"
"I will let you know as soon as I know."
"May I be able to join your gathering?" Kaworu asked. "I heard you talking to the Class Representative about this as well."
"It's more of a girl thing Kaworu. You understand do ya?"
"I do not."
"Focus!" Ritsuko snapped. "Any more talking will result in the test being longer so just fucking do it!"
At that Ritsuko snapped her mouth shut. She sighed.
"Sorry… I'm not-"
Misato placed a hand on her shoulder. "We know Rits. We'll figure out what happened and get her out."
Makoto and Shigeru were discussing things amongst themselves.
"There's something not right about the situation." Makoto said. "Do you really think Maya would betray us like that?"
"Beats me, Hyuuga. We saw the footage already." Shigeru responded. "Ibuki's nice but that's not the same thing as being loyal."
"I dunno, it doesn't seem right that Maya is the traitor."
"Isn't that sort of thing considered classified?" Shinji asked. "Why are we talking about it openly?"
"Ugh, word travels fast." Misato said. "Yes it's supposed to be classified. You're pilots so it's not a big deal but that kind of thing isn't something you can tell your friends. We'd have to arrest them and I don't think they'd be the type to appreciate the cuffs."
"Wasn't gonna do it anyway." Shinji said. "Do you really think Ibuki could do it?"
"She wouldn't." Ritsuko grimly said. "I know the facts. Maya would never do anything like that."
Misato backed away from her friend slightly. She looked over to Shinji, frowning.
"Well…" Misato shrugged. "I don't know Shinji. NERV needs all it's ducks in a row. We're gonna do our best to find the truth but I can't say anything for sure."
"Oh Misato thrown off her game? Not sure? Well that's a new one."
Ryoji Kaji led with his trademark grin at the group. Waving them hi, He went over to Misato and placed a kiss on her lips.
"Look at the inspector over here. Bold." Misato said. "You found anything?"
"Unfortunately no. She's not exactly cooperating with me and the evidence… well so far it's damning."
Ritsuko grimaced in the background. Guilt overcame her heart.
"Maybe I should go talk to her?"
"Was going to ask you anyway, Rirsu," Kaji nodded. "You probably can get more out of her. I'm gonna need you and Misato though."
"Alright. We'll finish the tests and meet with her there."
As the adults continued talking, Shinji turned his head to the monitor. He saw Kaworu, still in the entry plug with that infuriating smile. Shinji knew exactly what to ask him.
"You're not making this easy on yourself Maya."
Maya furiously tapped on the table. She had been in the interrogation room for hours, no closer to an answer about what she did to warrant this. Kaji had asked question after question but Maya could only say the truth: she didn't know anything.
"Look," She said, "I don't know anything about these files, I was in my apartment the whole time! I never went anywhere."
"That may be true," Kaji said. "But the facts are undeniable. I have the evidence."
He brought a small portable TV to the table. He turned it on showing black and white static footage. Maya recognized the date as being from last night. It was a hallway she didn't recognize and a door she never entered. Nothing happened for a minute. A creak of the door.
"No… no it can't be."
Maya saw herself leaving throughout the door. "Maya" had a briefcase that she made sure to check was safe. She glanced at the camera, smirking, before walking out.
"Well?"
Maya was confused. Angry.
"Who the hell is she?!" She screamed. "That's not me! That's not me!"
"Well if it's not you they did a pretty convincing job of it," Kaji laughed. He caught himself when he saw Maya was smiling back. "Sorry. Force of habit."
"I don't know anything! I swear! I don't have a briefcase like that I-"
"And I believe you but until we get it back, you're going to have to remain in a cell."
"You have to let me out Kaji!"
Maya grabbed him by the shirt and pushed him against a wall. A security team dragged Maya away as she yelled. Misato and Ritsuko entered the room.
"Hmmm…" Kaji got up. "Could have gone better."
"Laughing probably didn't help." Misato placed a hand on Kaji's forehead, checking. "You made her feel bad."
"Hmmm… probably right."
Misato kissed Kaji on the lips. "I'll lead her back to the cell. See ya tonight."
She winked at him, before going to find Maya. Kaji grinned again, before he saw Ritsuko glare at him. He snorted.
"Hey Ritsuko. Your assistant's a bit feisty."
"Spare me your tripe." She cut off. "What did you do with Adam?"
"Hm?"
Ritsuko knew that the man was a spy. What Gendo knew, she knew as well, and Kaji wasn't someone who could be trusted. No matter how much she wanted to.
"I don't know how you managed to pull that little stunt, but it won't work. Tell me what you did to Adam."
"Not sure what you're talking about." Kaji winked. "Scared for your friend?"
"I'm scared about a lot of things. Namely what Gendo might do to you if you don't reveal yourself."
"Hmmm… nah. The Committee wants a thing. I want answers. I'll get 'em, Ritsuko. One way or another. Anyway you do your thing. I got a watermelon patch to take care of."
As Kaji disappeared from view, Ritsuko considered her options. He was an old friend, but a potential enemy as well. What should she do? She had a feeling telling Misato or Gendo anything might lead to disaster.
One thing was for sure. She had to check on Maya later.
Kaworu was only mildly perturbed when Shinji approached him after the test. He still remained that way when he pushed him into the nearest closet to talk about something. He frowned.
"You could have politely asked for this talk, Ikari. It's not like I would have said no."
"Start talking, Nagisa. What's really going on?"
Kaworu chuckles.
"I don't see what's so funny? Why are you laughing?"
"Nothing, Ikari." Kaworu smiled. "it's just that… of all the places you could have taken me, it's a supply closet. A bit of a cliché location wouldn't you say?"
"It's not like i have many options." Shinji frowned."Forgive me for not taking you to, like, the Okinawa of hiding places."
"Hahahahahahahahaha."
Shinji sighed.
"Okay okay you had a nice laugh. I brought you here for a reason."
"Alright." Kaworu calmed himself down. "Ask away. Be specific."
"Maya didn't actually do it did she?"
"No. Well, not the one you know."
"What do you mean?" Shinji narrowed his eyes. "Does it have to do with the other me back in the spa?"
"Hmmm… I might say yes."
"Who is he then? Does he have powers like… me?"
"Yes. Like you. He is a shapeshifter. His identity is classified."
"But you know who he is?"
"…"
"Can you tell me?"
"… I will not."
"What? Why?!"
"You would go after him, getting yourself killed or worse. It's out of my hands."
"It matters to me! Someone's being framed and you know something."
"It is a small matter that will resolve itself quickly. The Commander already knows Ibuki is not the true culprit."
"He does?!"
"It's a plan to lure out the true culprit. You need not concern yourself with this."
"Okay, assuming that's true, and I doubt it will be, what if they decide to something to her anyway? Make an example? What if the agent does something dangerous? You think about that?!"
"He won't risk anything. I'm telling you-"
"Fine. Be that way." Shinji was about to storm off. "Come back to me when you're feeling helpful."
"Wait!" Kaworu said. "I want to help you! I truly do but- I can't tell you anything!"
"Why not?"
"I don't want…" Kaworu swallowed something. "I don't want to put you in danger."
"I won't be in danger. Why do you think that?
"Do you have any idea what you're up against? This isn't a random villain you're righting, but an agent for powerful people. He will utterly destroy you."
"You mean he's with SEELE?"
"SEELE, the UN, your father, he's playing them all and knows how to make it natural. He will hurt you… I don't want him to anything to you what they might do to Naoko, what they did to-"
He snapped himself. Shinji was concerned.
"… Kaworu…?"
"Please understand. What they did to the elder Akagi is nothing compared to what they might do to someone like you. You are a pilot now but when the Angels are over? They will strike you down. They will kill everyone you care about and then do worse to you on a level you won't be able to comprehend. Please, don't do anything reckless."
Shinji had never seen Kaworu scared before. He was always so calm and composed. If SEELE was able to terrify him…
"… What if I ask questions and you nod yes or no?"
"You're insisting on this."
"I wouldn't be a very good hero if I just let the bad guys do what they want. Please Nagisa… I'll be careful."
Kaworu felt an urge to scream. Shinji could be so infuriating at times. He was lucky that he was loved.
"Fine. I will trust you."
Shinji smiled. He knew he had to make it up to Kaworu somehow, but for now he had to get serious.
"Okay. Here's what I know. Your guy can impersonate people. He is a SEELE agent."
A nod. Shinji continued.
"No doubt he got his powers from HERZ. They experimented on human test subjects before."
Another nod.
"They probably wouldn't go through this trouble to get files, so maybe they're after something… Lilith? Or Adam?"
A nod.
"Given this information, who would have the best chance to get Adam…" Shinji scratched his chin. "The Lieutenants probably wouldn't know where Adam was given their positions. I don't see Rei or Asuka doing it."
Shinji punched his hand. He realized something.
"I'm going all wrong. Who already knows about Adam? Father, Naoko, Ritsuko… Does Misato know?"
Kaworu shook his head.
"Okay. Father definitely wouldn't hand Adam over to SEELE. Ritsuko seems loyal to him so I can't see it either. Naoko… no, not her. She might hate Father but she hates SEELE just as much. She doesn't have chameleon powers either or else she would have told me."
"You two have been conversing?"
"Not in the most pleasant of circumstances. Now if none of them work, then it all narrows down to…"
Shinj's eyes widen.
"Oh no. Misato is going to get hurt isn't she?"
Kaworu nods.
The seeds had already been planted.
Kaji smiled, whistling at the large field in front of him. The watermelons are growing at a decent rate. Within a month of two they should be fully formed. He spent countless hours of his fairly little free time digging up these holes for the seeds and they will at last bring him the harvest.
It was only now that Kaji realized that Misato would probably appreciate him taking some responsibility. Maybe he will bring her here someday. When it's all finished. First she'd need to know the truth. That's something he still needed to figure out himself.
His smile remained even when he heard footsteps behind him. He took a bottle of water.
"So what do I owe the pleasure… Ikari?"
Shinji looked around, amazed. "I never knew you were a farmer."
"Not much of one to be honest, but I had to get a hobby." Kaji shrugged. "Being a U.N. inspector takes a lot out of a man. You probably have your own hobbies."
"I do. I play the cello and… well, I like to spend time around town."
Kaji brought his bottle to Shinji. "Want some water?"
"… I'm a boy."
A laugh. "You say that like it matters."
"Hmmm… maybe not."
They sat down together. The sun was setting, framing both participants in orange. There was a tension in the air.
"Hey Shinji."
"Hm?"
"Did I ever tell you Kaji isn't my real name?"
Shinji's eyes widened. "It's not?"
"Yeah. You ask any adult what life was like before Second Impact, they'd probably tell you that life was good back then. It wasn't. Well, not for me anyway. Back then, I was just an orphan with my brother, living with my other orphan friends, stealing whatever we could to survive. Don't ever believe it when people say men are created equal. Second Impact only took a bad world and made it worse."
"…"
"When the dust settled, I still had my brother and friends. They kept me company even after everything, which I would have to thank them for endlessly. I hope they would take it given what happened next."
"..."
"One time, my brother and I stole food from a JSDF base. We got caught, and they threatened to execute us if we didn't tell them where our gang was hiding. I don't know what my brother said but I... I wanted to live too badly. I gave away the location. My brother and friends all dead. 'Cause I wanted to live. Can you believe that?"
Kaji drank from the water. Shinji felt guilty.
"I'm sorry."
"What for? You got nothing to be sorry about. I should be burning in Hell right now. Here's the important part: as a reward for my betrayal, the JSDF allowed me to take the name of my gangs leader.. It was pretty easy, given how Government records were erased and the real Kaji's family was dead. I could take his place and nobody would know. Eventually I forgot who I was I originally was. I was a new man."
"Hmhm."
"I had a good life Shinji. More than what I deserved." Kaji said. "Meeting Misato was one of the best things that ever happened to me. Even though she tossed my ass out 'cause of her daddy issues, I love her so much. Did she tell you about her dad?"
"She has." Shinji frowned. "I know a thing a two about… complicated dad feelings. I'm glad she told me that. It made me feel less alone."
"Wow, you made more progress in months than I made in years. Not bad kid. Not bad. You're gonna put the moves on her?"
Shinji blushed furiously. "What- NO! Why would you say something like that?!"
"Haha, it's a joke she'd probably make. If she were here." Kaji sighed. "Thanks kid. You make her very happy."
"…"
"There's another secret I have tell you."
"…"
"I'm not actually an Inspector."
"Oh?"
"I'm a double… triple agent? Who cares who I work for, it's all the same. There's a conspiracy behind everything Shinji. The Illuminati, the Cabal, whatever they call it? Laughable compared to what these guys did. They managed to activate an Angel and cause an event that killed millions of people all across the world… and for what? To gain immorality. Stupid, selfish pretentious old men playing at running the world."
"…"
"I spent so long wanting to find the truth Shinji. That was the first thing I cared about, second only to Misato. It didn't matter how I got it, just that I eventually did. Do you know how horrible it is to find out that all this suffering and chaos were the result of a bunch of stupid selfish bastards? Maybe the Angels should wipe us all out. That's how I felt by the time they got done torturing me."
"…"
"Nah that's silly. I love people too much to seriously consider that. Anyway, once you find out something like that then what's the point in pretending things will be fine right? Not when anyone can do what they do. So I just do what I want. Someone like that at least gets results."
"Someone like that…" Shinji said finally, "Would be willing to throw Ibuki under the bus. Probably."
"Yeah, probably." Kaji grabbed something from his pocket. "Pretty quick on the uptake there Shinji."
A gun shot rang through the air.
"People like me are quicker on the uptake than others."
Kaji smirked at the fallen body beneath him. Shinji clutched his arm, breathing in and out wondering why he wasn't recovering as fast as he normally would.
"Adamantium bullets." Shinji got his answer. "This kind of metal is pretty rare. Had to be dug of dangerous places. It's more than suited to slow down mutant regeneration factors. It worked for the other guy. Not that you'd know."
Shinji looked in horror as he saw himself smirking down at him.
"Word of advice kid. Spider-Man? Absolutely stupid. Either you stop that or stay away from Misato. You're a leech who's gonna hurt her sooner or later."
Kaji, also known in circles by his codename the Chameleon, took on the form of his old friend Ritsuko. He picked up a briefcase and walked away.
He couldn't believe he wasted his time on this kid with how gullible Shinji turned out to be. It had been simple to take on his form to infiltrate at the springs spa to break into his room. He found nothing but school uniforms and an S-DAT Player. Chameleon witnessed the fight between Spider-Man and the Scorpion to accurately gage his abilities. Turns out he was a wash. It would have been all too easy to steal Adam back then but he hadn't expected to be stuck in an elevator with Misato. It was certainly a pleasurable experience, especially getting her fired up so badly again, but inconvenient all the same. Now he had to take a more drastic measure.
Chameleon had Maya stirred and crazy. She had been freaking out over the existence of super powered beings like himself, she'd probably be willing to do anything he said… or rather, what "Ritsuko" would say. Chameleon smirked.
Stealing Adam back to SEELE and letting Maya take the fall for it would be easy.
Maya wanted to get out of the cell.
She didn't do it. It didn't matter what they showed her, she didn't steal anything from that office. She swore up and down, inside her thoughts and out through her mouth, that she didn't, couldn't have done it. Maya doesn't know how someone managed to wear her face but-
She shook her head. She was repeating herself.
Could it be one of those mutant freaks Naoko had talked about the day of the black out? Can someone truly have the power to mimic her? If Spider-Man could exist then perhaps so. What could Maya do in such a case? Unless the person impersonated her just walked into the room and cleared her name Maya would end up going in circles trying to clear herself.
She hated it.
"I have to get out." Maya spoke. "Where's… where's…?"
The door opens. Maya had to blink to see who it was.
"Hello Maya."
Her heart jumped at seeing Doctor Akagi. The real doctor Akagi, not the lunatic who hated the world with a passion. Ritsuko smiled ruefully holding a briefcase.
"Ritsuko!"
"Sorry." Ritsuko said. "You ok?"
"I'm fine but Ritsuko…" Maya raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing here? Where's the Commander? When am I being let out?"
"We're trying to find the spy, you're not leaving yet." Ritsuko chuckled. "Well… you're not supposed to."
She handed the briefcase to Maya, who was confused. Then she realized where she saw the briefcase from.
"What's going on?"
"Come with me Maya." Ritsuko grabbed Maya's free hand. "We need to leave."
"W-What?"
"They set you up Maya. The Commander already knows the culprit. It's me." Ritsuko said. "NERV is not a good place Maya. Not for you. Not for me. Not for us."
Ritsuko betraying NERV? But that was- what?
"You're the traitor Doctor Akagi? I can't believe you!"
"Did you not hear a word of what I said? We need to go."
Ritsuko pulled Maya by the hand, but she just shoved her mentor away.
"No! I won't go with you!" Maya shouted. "There are Angels out there, I can't just leave my post."
"Maya-"
"No, I'm not going to give up like this. Go away!"
"Maya?"
Maya didn't see Ritsuko's lips move. Both women turned to see another Ritsuko arrived. "Ritsuko" grinned.
"Guess the cat's out of the bag."
She lunged at the other Ritsuko, locking the door behind her.
"What the- RITSUKO!"
Maya banged on the door, trying fiercely to get out. The impostor… it wasn't enough to take her form and ruin her. How dare they take Ritsuko's form?! She would get revenge. One way or another.
"Who the hell are you?!"
Ritsuko pointed a gun at the other one. The other one, Faketsuko she called her in her head, smirked.
"Hmph. wouldn't you like to know? Alas-"
Faketsuko kicked the gun away and proceeded to hold Ritsuko in a stranglehold.
"I don't give away tricks to my enemies."
"Grrrr-"
Ritsuko tried to escape, grabbing hold of her copy's arms, but it was to no avail.
"Learning about you was the worst part." Ritsuko's eyes widened when she heard his voice. "You betrayed Misato and I when you joined the Commander. I should kill you right here."
"K-Kaji?"
"Say goodnight Ritsu. I'll be sure to comfort Misato."
Suddenly, the arms surrounding Ritsuko's neck let her go. Ritsuko breathed, only turning for a second to see what stopped her captor. Of all possible options, she didn't anticipate this one.
"I'm pretty sure murdering someone's friends is grounds for a break up. Don't do that."
It was Spider-Man. Ritsuko had seen the records but never in the flesh. He had an arm wrapped in a webbed cast, suggesting he had received some kind of injury. How Spider-Man managed to get into NERV Ritsuko wasn't sure about. All she knew was she had to thank him at some point.
"You're supposed to stay out of this." Faketsuko snarled. "Now I'm gonna have to kill you."
"You're gonna have to get in line. Lots of people tried." Spider-Man stood his ground. "I don't think I'm gonna lose to a guy who can't bother to shave."
Ritsuko ran off, no doubt to warn whoever was there. Good. Spider-Man knew he had to settle it between himself and Kaji.
"Willing to risk your secret for people who'll kill ya? Not bad kid. Not bad."
"If it's between someone in trouble or my secret, I'd like to think I would save the someone than hid to keep myself safe."
"Foolish idealism. Every generation has a bit of it."
Faketsuko gave away to another form. It wasn't Kaji like Shinji expected but something stranger. He recognized Kaji's general face pattern, the eyes, the nose and the stubble, but the Chameleon didn't have hair on is head. His skin was pure white, there were no nipples or genetilia on him, dipping into pure uncanny valley with the way the body kept rippling and breathing.
"I had to sacrifice a lot of things for the truth Shinji," Kaji said. "But the things I got are worth it."
Chameleon threw the first punch. Spider-Man dodged, hitting the waist which sent his opponent a bit backwards. Kaji smirked.
"You're strong."
"I know."
No more words exchanged. Kaji was a trained agent. It was no trouble to target Spider-Man's webbed shoulder, his weakness. Spider-Man stumbled back, allowing Kaji to land a kick on the chest. However, Shinji grabbed a hold of the leg and slammed him to the wall. Spider-Man threw a punch but Chameleon recovered fast and kicked the teen's legs off balance. Before he could make a finishing blow Spider-Man webbed Kaji's face. As Kaji struggled against the webbing Shinji landed a kick, webbing him again to pull him to another punch.
Chameleon was smart. He blocked Spider-Man's punch with his hand, turning him around and throwing him to the floor. He also kicked Spider-Man's broken arm for good measure.
"You're better than I gave you credit for." He said to the teen. "You're stupid, but not so bad in a fight."
"I had plenty of practice."
Shinji grabbed the floor with his free hand, using both of his legs to kick the Chameleon away! Recovering quickly, Kaji realized blood had dripped from his mouth.
"Shit… I need to get out of here."
One thing Kaji knew he had, was resourcefulness. That's how he came up with a plan on the fly. Because of that, he turned into Shinji again as he ran.
"Somebody help! I'm being attacked"
Spider-Man wobbled over, clutching his arm. He had to act fast or else Kaji would end up making him look like a wimp to the rest of NERV.
Oh, and stop him from attacking people. That too.
"Misato!"
Misato hadn't been expecting her friend to grab her by the shoulders and slam her into a wall. She grabbed a hold of Ritsuko's hands and stared at her.
"What's going on Ritsuko?"
"We found who impersonated Maya." Ritsuko said. "NERV has been infiltrated by a shapeshifter! He's running around the facility!"
"Whoah what? What do you mean?"
"He's-" Ritsuko stopped herself for some reason. "He has powers. He's one of them. He tried to kill me but Spider-Man managed to stop him."
"Spider-Man?!" Now Misato was angry. "How did he get in?!"
"No time. I have a feeling the impostor is going to try something. Watch out!"
Misato nodded. Ritsuko hasn't lied before, she's probably telling the truth. She'll save arresting Spider-Man for after the impostor is stopped.
"Okay," Misato said. "Call security, I'll keep an eye out for any impostor."
"Just be careful Misato. He could take anyone's form."
Misato left Ritsuko to her own devices, pulling out a gun in case. She was frustrated right from the get go since ran through several corridors that looked exactly the same. Amazing how months of working at NERV HQ hadn't helped memorizing the layout. The hallways are a dense maze as they always were so she had a hard time finding where she was supposed to go.
"Damn. At least install a map or something…"
"HELP! SOMEONE HELP!
Misato's heart stopped. What was Shinji doing here?!
"I'm coming Shinji hold on!"
She ran fast, using Shinji's screams to guide her. Sure enough Misato saw her ward running into an elevator.
"Shinji!"
Shinji glanced at her relieved, "Misato! Thank goodness, I was being attacked all of a sudden-"
THWIP!
Misato could only look in horror as she saw Spider-Man web himself into the doors. They were closing fast.
"Misato help me!"
"NO!"
She fired a bullet but the elevator already shut. She cursed herself for her hesitation.
"If Spider-Man hurts Shinji so help me God I'll-" Then she shook her head. "Wait no. Ritsuko said there was an impostor. What would he be doing here?"
The pilots were supposed to be sent home due to the investigation. This is the problem with impostors. They latch on to your emotions and trick you into doing things for them. Where the hell was Kaji? Wasn't he supposed to be working on this stuff?
Nevermind. She'll have to get down there. She'll have the impostor talk, and make the bastard pay for taking her ward's form.
"You need to work on your impression of me, that was terrible!"
Fake Shinji smirked as pushed Spider-Man against the wall, turning back to his regular form to taunt him.
"Considering your psychological profile, it's a good one."
He tried to kick Spider-Man again, but the boy webbed Kaji's face and slammed his knee into it. Chameleon grabbed Shinji's free arm but Shinji used his shoulders to repeatedly slam him into the elevator. Any attempt by Kaji to escape is undone by Spider-Man taking advantage of the space to trap him.
Before the elevator would give out, the doors opened and Kaji used the opportunity to run. But Spider-Man was sharp. He webbed Kaji's foot, which caused the larger man to fall to the floor. The Chameleon pulled out his gun again.
"Getting real sick of your shit Ikari!"
He fired, but Spider-Man jumped, dodging one bullet, quickly moving through the ceiling to avoid another, then lunging at Kaji with a fist knocking the gun from the hand.
"You say that like I'm not tired of your crap." Shinji said. "You're done."
"No… No I won't!"
The Spider-Sense kicked in time to avoid Kaji's side sweep. The older man threw various punches to strike the boy. Kaji expected Shinji to move around or dodge he had a plan to take care of the boy if he tried it.
Instead, Spider-Man used his free hand to block every single strike. Not a single blow landed, with Spider-Man furiously defending himself.
"Why. won't. you. QUIT!"
Kaji got frustrated. He got cocky. So he tried to kick Shinji, but this time Spider-Man moved… and punched his so hard that it sent Kaji flying through the air. Once more, Kaji landed on the floor, with Spider-Man victorious.
"I have things I need to do." Spider-Man answered. "Responsibilities to attend to, you know?"
"Responsibility? You?" Kaji had to laugh at that. "I'd like to see the logic that led you to thinking Spider-Man is a responsible thing to do."
"Whatever. You're done."
"Hah… well kid. End of the line." Kaji smirked. "You're gonna take me in, even if it risks your secret?"
Spider-Man paused at that. He hadn't thought of it before he tried this plan. Kaworu told him not to take any unnecessary risks and yet here he was…
"Yeah. I couldn't let you get away with it. I'm ready to reveal myself to Misato."
Kaji heard the sound of footsteps. He smirked, transforming back to his normal self.
"Heheh, I wouldn't be so sure about that kid…"
He ate something. Bubbles drooled from his mouth. Spider-Man was confused.
"What the hell?"
"KAJI!"
Spider-Man turned at the voice, moving to allow Misato to run to her lover. She clutched Kaji's body in her arms, seemingly dead.
"Kaji please!" She cried out. "Stay with me! I'm… I never got to say I…"
I love you. Misato couldn't say those words even now. Spider-Man raised a hand.
"Mi- Captain Katsuragi I swear he isnt- he's-"
Spider-Sense! The wall crawler jumped to the ceiling, avoiding a bullet. Misato glared at him, gun in hand.
"Stay right where you are and don't move!" She shouted. "You're gonna tell me who you're fucking working for or so help me I'm gonna leave you worse than you left him!"
Spider-Man managed to get away by breaking into a vent. Misato kept shooting, hoping to get at least one shot at the web slinger. She couldn't even have that. Instead, she turned back to the ground, crying over the loss of her beloved.
Her hands covered her eyes, not noticing the way Kaji's lips formed into a smirk. He hadn't finished the assignment… but he protected Misato. That was more important to him than any truth.
"You've been cleared of charges."
Maya glared at the guard, then sighed. There was nothing to be gained sniping at security. She was glad to be let out, wanting to put what happened behind her. When she exited the cell, she came to see Makoto and Ritsuko smiling at her.
"Happy you're out." Makoto smiled. "Bridge Bunnies need to stick together right?"
Maya smiled back. She looked from left to right. "Where's Aoba?"
"Back at the apartment," Makoto said. "He said he was digging out the guitar. What for I'm not sure about."
"We're lucky you're safe Maya." Ritsuko chimed in. "Thank you."
Smile fading a bit, Maya blushed as the doctor gently grabbed her hands.
"D-doctor Akagi…"
"Ritsuko." Ritsuko smiled wide. "It can't have been easy but we managed to recover the files thanks to your help exposing the impostor. You're a good person."
"T-hank you…" Maya stuttered. "Gosh you're embarrassing me… you were the one that spotted them…"
They laughed. Makoto suddenly felt like a third wheel in the scenario, quietly walking away to give the two some space.
"Maya…"
"Huh?"
"Want to… do something? Grab coffee? I feel like we haven't had much time for ourselves."
Maya nodded happily. "Sounds great. When do you want to start?"
There were many times Shinji felt guilty.
It was a pretty common feeling for someone in his field. There were people he couldn't save, times he went too far, mistakes made. Kaworu had been right. He jumped the gun way too early. Maybe if he had been patient he would have come up with a slightly better plan than "beat the crap out of the bad guy". Maybe if he waited he wouldn't be swinging around the city for hours feeling like crap, only coming back at nighttime.
Maybe if he had waited, he would open the apartment door and hear sobbing from the kitchen.
Shinji had a pretty good idea who it was. He went over, finding Misato trying to open a beer can, failing. She threw it against the wall along with the other empty cans.
"Shinji…" Misato hiccuped. "Whoops. Sorry for making you see me like this."
"Misato…"
"Just… go to your room Shinji. I'm… I'm fine I'm-"
She wasn't fine. If she was, Misato wouldn't have collapsed to the floor, slurring whatever curse words she would have said. Shinji caught her with his one hand, making sure to keep the ineffective hand from her field of vision.
"Misato you're…" Shinji said. "What happened?"
Misato looked to her ward, her eyes darting back and forth, thinking. She sighed.
"Thought I had something again." Misato explained, "Kaji was… we didn't have the best relationship before, not when he came back either but…" She sniffed. "I lost him again. I pushed him away before but he came back… only to be gone again… why can't I keep the people I love?"
Shinji frowned upon hearing this. How dare Kaji say he cared about Misato, when he put her through pain like this? The coward had to kill himself. Unlike him, Shinji won't run away.
"Misato… remember what I said before? That we could help each other? I meant it then… I mean it now. I'm not going to leave you alone. You have me, you have Asuka, Ritsuko… you're not alone okay? You're home."
His words sounded false in his ears. Would it work? Would it help her? Misato gave Shinji a good hard look.
"Shinji…"
She wrapped her boy in a bone crushing hug. Shinji felt pain on his arm but didn't compare to the warm feeling Misato gave him.
"Shinji… Don't leave me…" Misato said. "I love you…"
"… I won't… I won't leave you…"
He cursed himself for shivering. Only one person told Shinji she loved him… Shinji pulled Misato to him harder.
"I won't let anyone take you…" Misato continued. "Not the Angels, not NERV, not Spider-Man… he won't take you from me."
Shinji nodded at that. What else could he say? The pain was as much his fault as Kaji's. He had to take responsibility for his crimes.
Author's Notes:
You thought things would be easy for Shinji? You thought wrong!
So we wrap up the Chameleon arc. I want to be clear that I love Kaji and I didn't make him a villain 'cause I hated him or anything. Like Naoko as Doc Ock, Kaji just made the most sense to be the Chameleon. He's already a spy, his manga backstory works well in establishing the kind of person he is and create some sympathy, and his search for truth being contrasted with his ability to shapeshift and lie was fun to write. He still loves Misato greatly but you can imagine that finding out the conspiracy and being tortured by HERZ would drive him to the depths you see here. I hope you find this twist interesting!
Time to answer comments:
RealRemainder: The Colonel Katsuragi thing was a continuity mistake that I corrected. Thanks for pointing it out!
Omni warrior: As hilarious as Emo Shinji would be, I have no plans to include the symbiote within the fic. I might do something for the omakes but that's about it.
Author0fntent: I went to check the scene you were talking about and YIKES! Homer had it rough that episode. In fairness though. at least his dad actually apologized later. Sadly there will never be a point where Naoko considers making amends.
Z-King: You tell me.
Guest: He's strong enough to lift a bus, probably wouldn't be able to lift the bakelite. Let's hope Gendo never finds out.
Light Yami: It's less about liking Shinji and more about respect. Naoko has a dim view on pretty much everyone, but Shinji was able to surpass her initial impression of him when he saved the train at the risk of his life and secret identity. After that, she decided she had to be the one to kill him.
TopStern: The next chapter will have your answer.
keybladelight: I have no interest in doing Spider-Verse for this fic, nor am I interested in doing crossovers with other authors. I am asking you to stop making these requests.
SuperiorSuperman: Shinji will keep his basic abilities. His spider-sense and speed will get an upgrade later, but more advanced powers are out of his reach.
Jackie Lin Tho: To tell the truth I don't think Rebuild 4 is gonna be any good, but I've been waiting on closure for a long ass time so I want see it through to the end. Basically we're on the same boat.
Next Chapter: Animals
Omakes:
"Ruining the Throne." by GainaxVel3o
Gendo Ikari grinned, having just finished another day of being a slimy evil bastard King. Ritsuko's heart was broken, he deducted pay from his technicians, he beat Fuyutski at Mahjon, hell he even avoided a single glimpse of the other Naoko Akagi.
"God is in his heaven, all is right in my world."
Gendo said to himself as he opened the door to his throne. It's lunch period so no one should be disturbing him.
"Oh hey?" Spider-Man said, reading a file from the chair. "Hope you don't mind if I took your seat? It gets so loud in the mess hall you know?"
It was a blasphemous sight. An interloper was in his seat. reading his files, so casually and brazenly disrespecting the chain of command. This cannot stand.
"Whatever you think you're doing it won't work." Gendo glared at him. "Get out of my chair. Now."
"Hmmm…" Spider-Man considered it for a few seconds. "Make me."
Gendo pulled out his gun. "Get off of the chair you insipid insect!"
"Whoah okay fine. Geez." Spider-Man hopped out of the chair. "You're such a piece of work, Ikari. No wonder your son's so whiny if he has you for a dad."
The wall crawler smashed through the window, causing all sorts of alarms and bells to ring. Gendo smirked.
"My throne has been returned to me. Yui surely smiles on me today."
Gendo went to his desk and sat down on the chair. He won't pursue Spider-Man himself. Why should he? Security should handle that, not the Commander. Gendo had more important things to do, like-
Like investigate why his butt feels so wet.
"What the-?!"
He tried to get up, only for his chair to stick to his ass. The Commander tried to reach for the seat, only to find his hand stuck. He pulled his arm to reveal it was covered in webbing.
"… FUYUTSKI!" Gendo roared. "I WANT THAT SPIDER-MAN'S HEAD ON MY DESK BY NIGTHFALL, NOW!"
"Safety First" by Johnny Freeman, AKA FatDrunk Dragon
Shigeru was distracted by the monitor.
He kept his eyes peeled incase the sensors were tripped by seismic activity or the presence of an AT Field. It was mediocre stuff, the kind of thing that would bore a lesser man but he kept at it just so that the others don't carry the workload on their own. As he continued to refresh the map, he could hear the clacking of heels approach behind him.
"Hello Shegoro" an unpleasant voice spoke from behind him.
"It's Shigeru" he said, sighing to himself as he turned to face Dr. Naoko Akagi, mechanically armed supervillain.
"Whatever, I have a question. Mind answering it for me?"
Makoto didn't say anything else, just making sure the map of Tokyo-3 is refreshed in the event of any angel arrival.
"I will assumed you said "yes". So let me ask: Why do you have a gun under your table?"
"Wait, how did you-"
"I was looking for a pen, I noticed that there is a submachine gun underneath your table. Infact, I noticed all of these tables have a firearms. Why is that?"
If Makoto had balls of steel, he would've said something like "It's to protect ourselves from you." But that's just asking for trouble so he tried to be polite to this callous bitch with the tentacles.
"Command had given us a briefing about possible external or internal threats that could present themselves should they break into the facility. In turn, we were provided with these submachine guns just for that effect."
"Honestly, just what does Command think we're gonna fight? Americans?" Makoto spoke out
"Well… It doesn't matter what Command is expecting us to fight… Just as long as we keep them locked and loaded under our desk."
"Interesting…" Naoko said, "So you aren't worried about anyone just… taking one of these guns out and…"
The tentacle had pulled out the UZI from under the technicians table, aiming it directly at Commander Ikari. Everyone shouted in terror, Fuyutski ducked away as Gendo stood there, unafraid.
"Going Postal?" She finished as her claw pulled the trigger.
Click
Naoko's eyes widened as she kept pulling the trigger. The sound of the clicking filling the air.
"WHY ISN'T IT FIRING?!"
"Well…" Maya butted in, "I kinda took out the magazine."
"W-w-WHAT?!"
As Naoko's eyes twitched, she noticed the commander had pulled out a handheld remote, smirking as he pushed the button
"Try to bust a cap in my ass, eh?" He snarked.
"Maya, you stupid Bi-
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