The Talk
Gendo Ikari had been in the interrogation room for an hour.
He rubbed his eyes, his body still sore from his tussle with Major Katsuragi on the bridge. She had soundly beaten him, as her colleagues worked on getting the Third Child out of Unit 01. With her experience, she bested him as a fighter.
Perhaps, even as a Commander.
Gendo realized he had let his feelings cloud his judgement; they got in the way of the operation and NERV's mission to destroy the Angels. That was why he was here, to be interrogated for his actions. He did not know why it was necessary. Surely Fuyutski had already taken over for him and explained the situation, did he not?
Maybe he didn't do that. That was why he was allowed to keep his gloves in here, as opposed to removing them. They'd show Adam swirling inside his right hand. Maybe Fuyutski has all the cards this time.
"The old man still pretends to be fair." He murmured bitterly. "Everyone was a fool for believing him. Myself included."
Even from the beginning he plotted against him. With her. Gendo will never make the same mistake again.
The door clicked open.
Compared to her state days ago, Misato Katsuragi was dressed a bit more formally than before. She had clearly taken some rest, no doubt having had a peaceful night, now that her ward was back in her care. She kept a stern gaze on Gendo as she proceeded to sit in front of him.
"So." She simply said. "Where would you like to start?"
"I have nothing to lose. You defied me before."
"Only because you didn't do your job." Misato pointed a finger at him. "Don't get passive aggressive me with me now. Just so you know, I can go another round if you try to start another fight."
She brought both hands up, cracking her knuckles to prove the point. Gendo did not need reminders. His eyes were swollen enough as is.
"Very well. Ask any questions you would like."
"Good." Misato brought her hands to her chin. "Did you know who the other signal was before?"
"…"
"I ask again, did you know? Was there a reason you risked everything for this random person, instead of one of our pilots, who I may remind you, are important for defeating the Angels?"
"Don't pretend you don't know, Katsuragi. Ritsuko has probably explained it. Or Fuyutski."
"I want to hear it from you. Why did you do it?"
"…" Gendo sighed. "My wife. Yui. She was trapped inside the Evangelion for over ten years. Her soul is what powers it, enabling the Third Child to effectively wield the Eva. All Evas require a soul to power them."
"You must have missed her a lot. So you wanted her back-"
"Don't psychoanalyze me."
"I'm not. I'm just trying to put the pieces together. You missed her."
"Yes."
"That's why you tried to take her from the Eva."
"Yes."
"Over your own son?"
"…"
"He's been rescued, by the way. We're discharging him from the hospital after I'm done here."
"That hardly surprises me. According to reports, Spider-Man has been known to heal from injuries faster than regular humans."
Misato's gaze went colder.
"Ah, so you know by now, Major?" Gendo said. "The level of betrayal he committed must be so astounding. You took the boy in, practically raised him, without any suspicion of his true character, until it hit you in the face. It must sting to be the last in the loop."
"Just like you and Yui, I imagine?"
He lunged at her, trying to silence the woman for mentioning Yui. Instead, Misato grabbed his arms and twisted them, little by little. Not enough to break, but to let him know he wasn't going to make head way.
"What did I say?!" She yelled. "You start a fight. I end it. Don't embarrass yourself any further by trying."
"Grrrr…"
Gendo reluctantly sat back down, recovering his hands from Misato's grip. He bit his tongue as she continued
"I know Yui invited you to join NERV. Or GEHRN, as it was called back then. I know that she disappeared into her work, leaving you alone with Shinji until the day she was trapped in the Eva. I know you abandoned your son after that, until you needed him. I know that you have a vat of Rei clones stashed in the basement for your sick little scenario. But most importantly-"
His skin paled at being confronted by these truths, even as Gendo kept his gaze cold. But what she said next…
"I know Yui could contact you through the Eva. She sent images of her son through those computer screens, so she definitely had the opportunity to. Yet the one time your wife deigned to talk to you was to reject your plans."
Gendo looked to his own lap. His gloved hands felt like the most interesting sight at the moment.
"I want to know. Why do you sacrifice so much for this woman, who sacrificed herself to the Eva without letting you know, who never returned the favor in the years you spent trying to save her? Why waste so much of your life on this one person?"
"… She was all I wanted." Gendo mumbled. "In this world, I am alone. No family. No friends. All I had was Yui… she was my world… the one I cared about most, who understood me more than anyone what it was like to be so alone. She accepted me, even when I pushed everyone else away.
He let out a bitter, spiteful laugh.
"But none of it was real, was it? In the end, Yui left, just like all the others… She took all of our precious gifts for her…"
His eyes widened in realization. A memory of a child crying as a train arrived came to him.
"Except for her son… our son… the one thing we had together she couldn't have possibly faked. And I left him behind…"
A bitter chuckle of her own escaped Misato's lips. The situation had reached the last straw with her.
"You stupid son of a bitch. You finally figured it out after all these years. Now, when Shinji and every single person who would actually give a damn hates your guts. You truly are a piece of work."
She got up from the chair, making her way towards the door. As she opened it, Misato turned to glare at the trash moping in his chair.
"I am going to make sure you stay locked up for the rest of your life. So long as I'm around, Shinji and Rei are never going to suffer because of you ever again. Good bye, Commander."
The door slammed shut. Gendo gazed at his hands again, trying to find some meaning in them somewhere. Instead, all he found was loss.
And shame. A tear fell into the hands.
"I did this…" He choked up. "I hurt my boy… My family… he has grown beyond what I could ever give him. Rei is gone as well… I am… alone…"
Gendo recalled Takuji Yamashiro.
At one point, they had a violent outburst in campus that resulted in security coming after him. Takuji yelled at him, called Gendo the Bastard King for his destructive behavior. Perhaps he had been right all along. Maybe that was why he sent Shinji to him, knowing that he would be better off with someone who knew better.
There he was, alone in a dark room, pouring his soul out to an audience that wasn't there, to a future that will never come.
A little while later, Misato slid the card key into the handle.
The sliding door to the Commander's usual office opened. Misato looked to her ward, who felt uncomfortable.
"Shinji. I'm going to need you to wait here." She told him. "There's some things I need to talk about with Commander Fuyutski. Once I'm done, we'll be head home and talk about everything then."
She disappeared into the office, the door shutting behind her. Shinji leaned against the wall, looking at his left wrist to check the time on his watch.
8:45 AM.
"I guess I won't be going to school today… I need to call my friends soon…" Shinji looked from left to right. "There's a few people here. I guess work is never done when at NERV. I can't believe Fuyutski is the Commander."
30 days ago, he would have considered that a massive step up from his father. Now, Shinji dreaded what Fuyutski would do with his new position. He had complete control over Eva operations, the perfect position to enact the scenario he concocted with his mother so long ago. Would Misato believe him, if he told her the truth?
He still didn't know how she took the revelation that he was Spider-Man. After she revealed his mask, she left the room before he could get a word in edgewise. The next day, she came to pick him up.
What would Misato do? She seemed have been hurt, but she was keeping a lot of that to herself at the moment. Shinji wanted to talk to her, but Misato wouldn't budge. Whatever was to happen, he had to trust her and wait until they got home to resolve their business.
In the mean time, Shinji noticed some peculiarities. A few times, NERV employees passed him by, some giving him some odd looks; others whispering among themselves things that he couldn't hear. While he was used to some level of intrigue around the base, given he was a NERV pilot, it only increased an anxious feeling. Especially when at one point, an elderly man who seemed like he hadn't slept in days, came to him and whispered-
"Thank you, for everything. Please keep protecting us. My family's alive because of you."
With a nervous nod, the worker rush off in a hurried step. Shinji felt torn between soaking up some gratitude and questioning it. He had never received this when he was a pilot.
Something must have happened to cause this change of pace.
"Ah, I'm probably overthinking it." He said finally. "If something's different, then Misato would have said something."
His phone vibrated. Shinji picked it up to answer whoever was calling.
"Hello?"
"Shin-man!" Touji's voice came from the other line. "We heard you were leavin' the hospital, but we couldn't make it due to School! You should have called sooner, we've been worried about ya!"
There he goes. Shinji just smiled, happy to hear his friend's voice again.
"I'm fine, just shaken by the experience." He said. "You can tell everyone I'm good. Misato just wants to talk to me alone."
"Fair enough, but we'll be setting up a party for you later! My place. Be there, or we'll spill the beans on your secret to every rando on the street we can find!"
"As if enough people who didn't know I was Spider-Man." Shinji rolled his eyes. "Is anyone else there?"
"Yeah, they're here, and they wanna talk to ya-!"
Shinji heard the sound of a phone being violently grabbed. Other voices were being heard.
"SHINJI! You've been missing out in the past month, with your whole stuck in an Eva situation and everything, so when you come by I got so many cool facts to show you!"
"I hope you're doing well, Ikari. The school assigned me to hand over all the homework piled up to you. After the party, of course, I'm not that insensitive. It's good to have you back.."
He had expected to hear Kensuke and Hikari first. But he was surprised at the latest voice on the line.
"Ikari…" Rei said his name in her usual whispery way. "I hope we have a chance to speak soon.
"Rei!" Shinji's grin went just a little bit wider. "I'm surprised you're there with them. Have you been hanging out with Touji and Kensuke?
"Yes. We are a part of an organization called the Spider-Clan. They have been most… kind. I will also be moving out of my apartment to the one next to yours, if you had not been informed."
"Are you?" He raised an eyebrow. "Maybe we can help out?"
"No. There are things I need to do for myself. We will talk more later, Ikari. I will wait patiently for you to reveal yourself."
Touji came back soon after. "Anyways, we'll see ya soon. Got class and all. Bye!"
The phone ended. Shinji leaned back, waiting for Misato again. If he wanted to get past one hurdle, he needed to take care of the bigger one first. No running away this time.
"I mustn't run away… huh… I haven't said that in a while… maybe I am getting brave."
"You have to be, given you're the infamous Third Child!"
He had never heard that voice before. Shinji turned to see a girl, no older than him or Asuka. The blond was audacious as well, given she placed both hands around his wrist to shake it, somewhat forcibly.
"We haven't been properly introduced! I'm Marie Vincennes, former back up Pilot of Unit 04. Came from France several days ago, very pleased to meet you here! You were the talk of the base as the boy who killed the majority of the Angels."
"Well, uh, I had help on most of that." Shinji raised an eyebrow. "You're an Eva pilot?"
"I am. Was. Truth is, I'm here mostly as a meat shield in case one of you goes under. There was bit of a vacancy since… well, the last Angel attack."
Shinji's face fell at that. "Right…"
Marie stopped shaking his hand, retreating her hands. Something in her eyes shifted as she let out a sigh.
"I'm sorry about Nagisa. I heard you two were close." Marie said. "I didn't know him very well, to be honest. The most we shared were training exercises with Asuka when we were younger, but he seemed like a nice guy. Even though he's an Angel, plenty of people miss him. You have my condolences."
"Thanks…" Shinji smiled sadly. "It's been hard… coming to terms with that, especially after I got out. I keep thinking there was a way I could have saved him…"
"I feel you. I lost a lot of people in Nevada when they performed that test…" Her gaze hardened a bit. "Good people. Sometimes I don't know if I was lucky to be outside when it happened, or if it was some kind of divine punishment. I'll never know. No one will."
She gently patted his shoulder, smiling again.
"What I'm trying to say is that, I know what it's like. I've had long talks with my therapist about, it doesn't get any easier. If you ever need to talk… I can be a listener."
Shinji opened his mouth, but closed it. He smiled, a bit more genuinely this time. "Thank you, Miss Vincennes."
"Ha! That makes me sound like a grown-up. Just call me Marie."
With that, Marie moved towards the elevator at the end of the hall, pressing a button to call it. Shinji simply nodded after her, going to check his watch again, only to find it missing. He sighed when he realized who could have taken the thing.
"Tell you what, I won't mind calling you Marie, if you can give me my watch back."
She grinned, spinning the watch with her finger. "So quickly? Darn, you're good. Asuka sometimes took days before she figured out anything was missing."
"She tends to get mad at that sort of thing." Shinji waved his hand. "Do you do this on purpose?"
"The doctors call it Kleptomania. Been trying to work on it by returning anything I steal. Catch!"
She threw the watch quick, mildly surprised when Shinji caught in an instant. Marie whistled, impressed by this display.
"Oh nice! Not easy. Your reflexes are exactly what I heard."
"Reflexes?" Shinji gave her a curious look. "Where did you hear that from?"
"Oh… you don't know…" Marie shook her head. "Nah. I think I'll let Misato explain that one."
The elevator doors opened. She raised her fingers in a peace sign towards Shinji.
"Ta-ta! See you later, Ikari!"
Those doors shut, just as Misato finally came out of the meeting. She looked no worse for wear, though clearly angry about something.
"I'm done for today." She said in a frustrated tone. "Did anything happen while I was gone?"
"Not much." Shinji shrugged. "Some people passed me by. I met another pilot who tried to steal my watch. She seemed nice, but she ought to pick her targets better. I mean, my watch isn't even that good! It's an old model."
Misato groaned, putting her hands to her face.
"You met Marie. Word of advice, don't let her anywhere near your stuff. She has a habit of stealing. Real pain in my rear."
"So I noticed. Sounds like she gave you trouble."
"You have no idea. Marie kidnapped Pen Pen once."
"Whoah really?"
"Yeah. I made her pay for that one." Misato sighed. "Ready to head home?"
The drive home was quiet.
For once, Misato made sure to drive safely. No swerves to get to the apartment faster; no eating the red light, none of that. That was how Shinji knew she was hiding a lot of stress.
He figured that she was trying to delay the conversation. Pretty fair. He wasn't sure if he was ready for it either.
There was a strangling noose around them this time. They hesitated, as if the moment they opened their mouths they would begin to hang. The anticipation ate away at them, so they didn't dare to speak. How could they? Anything would be lost in the void if they did.
It was an awful mess of feelings, one that had to be, needed to be, sorted.
After another hour, they did make their arrival back to the apartment. Shinji and Misato stayed quiet even as they made their way up the stairs, and back to their room. Shinji wasn't that surprised to find the place had turned into a mess. He would need to clean this up later. First, the two got changed into more casual wear and sat in the dining room.
Misato purposely did not bring out a beer can. Shinji silently stared back at her.
There it was. The talk.
"…"
"Um…"
"…"
"…"
"So. You're Spider-Man."
"… Yeah…"
"How long?" Misato shook her head. "Probably months. At least long before you arrived here."
"I think it was April. I had a costume later, but I was more or less spinning my webs ever since I got these powers."
"That's another thing. How did you get them in the first place? It's not like super powers are just handed to you out of nowhere."
"I didn't get it like that. But it was a pretty big coincidence. Would you believe me if I said I got them from being bitten by a spider?"
Misato blinked. "Bullshit."
"It's true! Well, to be accurate it was more of a genetically altered spider- wait, give me a minute." Shinji rubbed the temples on his forehead. "Okay. My teacher, Professor Kuruto Inumaru, he caught me messing up an experiment in class, so he asked me to clean up the lab for him after school. While I was doing that, I went to a private part of his classroom, washing his station where the spider ended up biting me. Later, I woke up in the hospital, then I was sticking to the ceiling in my house and… then I just got the powers, like that. It was a whole thing!"
"I see… Go on."
"Okay. I didn't get the hang of it the first time. I webbed up my lunch tray and spilled it all over someone at school. His name was Kotei, who then cornered me in the roof to beat me up."
Her eyes narrowed. "Tell me you got some licks in."
"Well, I was mostly dodging. He was pretty mad about that… then I caught one of Kotei's punches and… kind of broke Kotei's hand-"
"You did?!"
"It was an accident! I didn't know my own strength, so later I went to a warehouse to get trained. It was pretty good practice for my powers, so I sorta got the hang of it pretty quickly."
"Okay." Misato leaned back, sighing. "That explains your powers. How did you get the costume?"
Shinji placed his hands on the table. "Are you sure you want to talk about it, Misato? I mean-"
"I do. Please explain. I just… need to know…"
"Okay then. Well, believe it or not, it wasn't really my idea at first? Basically, while I was protecting an old woman from some criminals, they told me they could find me since they saw my face. They never did, but I put on a mask from then on just in case. Then one day, I met a girl named Mayumi, and after I stopped my first super bad guy, she said something about how I- I mean, Spider-Man- was like a superhero, like Ultraman-"
"So you based your outfit off of that?"
"Yeah, sort of… imprinted on me… So I got some spray paint, a pair of goggles, took some sweaters and jackets from the closet, then suddenly I got a gimmick and was calling myself Spider-Man. It was kind of a whirlwind, pretty exciting at the time. At least before I fought my other bad guys."
"Right." Misato raised an eyebrow. "Did she know?"
"Who? You mean Mayumi? No, she never did until-" Shinji stopped himself. "She was a pretty sweet person. Even saved my life one time, even though I was about to get… well, that's a different story. I didn't think I'd get a friend, but we hung out together a couple of times and hit off… more or less…"
"Were you doing this Spider-Man thing to… impress her?"
"No! Well, not really…" Shinji looked away. "I was happy when she said the costume looked great, but Mayumi wasn't really the reason I was doing this. She was a good friend, who gave me advice when I needed it; who was there even when I was lost, like when Naoko beat me the first time and I was ready to give up. She said that Spider-Man inspired her, kept her going, and…"
He didn't realize he was gripping the table until he felt the metal bend. He soon sighed.
"I just couldn't let her down. I always had to do something."
"Sounds like you two were good friends. What happened to her?"
"… she died… It was all my fault."
Things went silent for a moment. Misato kept her gaze on Shinji, waiting for him to explain.
"One time, Inumaru kidnapped Mayumi- wait I should explain, he turned himself into a lizard monster that time-"
"Into a lizard monster?! You mean like the creep that kidnapped all those missing refugees?"
"It's the same guy, though he didn't start out that way. He was looking for a way to replicate body parts, so he could restore his leg. It wasn't his fault he turned into a monster, since he was forced into it by somebody else. Anyway, I chased him down to a laboratory to save Mayumi. I beat him, but not before he showed me some of the secrets behind the organization he was working for. HERZ."
"I know them. Ritsuko said they were developing weapons for the Evas…"
"Yeah, they had been monitoring Spider-Man for some time… they took people and experimented on them, giving them super powers… even people I knew, like Rai or Sunako. The spider that bit me was made from the DNA of Lilith, the Second Angel, and Mayumi… she was a clone made from the same tissue, sent to spy on me by her Father. I left her after that."
"…"
"I turned on her when she needed me most." He sniffed. "I left her alone in the hands of her madman of a father, and she manifested that thing that destroyed the city."
"That was the Angel we discovered…" Misato gasped. "We saw reports of it as it was happening, but by the time we had Rei sortied out, the Angel had disappeared."
"That was probably when… when…"
"What happened…?"
"… I tried to get to her in time…" Shinji started crying. "There was so much destruction I had to help people out, but while I was doing it, Mayumi spoke to me. She had to… she… she killed herself, to destroy the Angel."
Misato was shocked. "Oh no…"
"She died to save everyone, even me. She told me she loved me, even when I was such a jerk… when I was falling to my death fighting her father, Mayumi still had enough energy to save my life. I don't know how I could repay her, except to keep on living as she wanted to me to, try to be the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man the way she knew I could be. Somehow, I didn't get bitter from it all…"
"You're a better person than you give yourself credit for."
"Maybe some day I'll truly believe that." Shinji chuckled. "The first time I ever felt pride at what I was doing was when I saved a train from Naoko. She was trying to kill Yashida, so I gave everything I had to try to stop her, everything so that I could stop the train she derailed from crashing into the streets and murder everyone on it… I passed out doing so, and when I woke up, even though they took off my mask, the people on the train didn't reveal my secret. They just thanked me."
He sniffed from the memory.
"They… they believed in me… I just couldn't let anyone down after that. Not now, not ever."
"Even piloting is just you saving more people, wasn't it?" Misato said. "No wonder you took to it so easily, when anyone else would have screamed for the hills."
"I guess so. I don't think it's the same. Evangelion, it's just a means to an end to beat the Angels. When I'm Spider-Man, I have the freedom to go wherever I want, stop crimes when I see then, and help anyone I can. Not that I have a problem with doing either. It's my responsibility, after all."
"…"
"I wanted to tell you I was Spider-Man after a while. I truly did. But things kept getting in the way and then the whole thing with…" Shinji realized. "Oh no, Kaji! I didn't-"
"Kill him. I know." Misato nodded. "Ritsuko explained it all to me."
"… really? The whole thing?"
"She told me that a spy broke into NERV and was trying to steal Adam. He tried to get Maya framed and killed while he got away. Spider-Man was able to stop him, but during the fight, Kaji died."
Misato put a hand on Shinji's own. "I'm sorry that I didn't investigate more of this sooner. I was caught up in my anger, and I ended up pushing you too." She bit her lip "God this is so fucked up… the man I wanted to… he was living here with me and he was my ward… I don't know what I'd do if…"
So Ritsuko didn't explain everything. Shinji debated whether it was his place to say the full truth. It would have been tempting to just leave it there, but she called him here to be honest with her. Shinji had to come forth and be honest, so he swallowed his fear.
"Misato… Kaji was the spy. He was the one that tried to kill Maya and Ritsuko."
Immediately, she took her hand away from his own. She gasped again in shock.
"No… no, you can't be serious…"
"He had powers, forced onto him by HERZ. I don't think he was in his right mind. I tried to confront Kaji about it by myself, but he already knew I was Spider-Man and shot me in the arm. When he pulled his plan, I fought him, and he pulled that cyanide trick and-"
Misato got up from her chair and punched the wall. She growled.
"That lying bastard!" She screamed. "All this time I thought he changed and I could have- I could let go of my own Father, and now I learned he was just- grrr when I get my hands on-"
A sudden realization came to her, one that made her pale.
"He turned into you… I saw you being chased by Spider-Man, and then Kaji was there, dead on the floor. He knew who you were… he tried to turn me against you and get you killed!"
Her hands shook in the sheer rage at it.
"THAT BASTARD IS GOING TO PAY!"
Shinji grabbed her by the shoulder. "If you don't want me here, I can go."
"What?"
"I know I lied to you, and this whole thing is… a mess… It's okay if you-"
"Stop it right there." She wagged her finger at him. "No, I'm not angry at you… well, not entirely. Kaji made his own dumbass choices, and given everything I'm hearing, you did the best you could in a bad situation. I don't blame you for this specifically. Now, sit down!"
"… Okay…"
They both went back to the table. Misato waved her hand to calm herself down.
"I don't want you to leave." She admitted. "I want you here, with me. With Asuka. As mad as I am that you're Spider-Man, I'd be much more pissed if you ran off without giving me a choice in the matter. Besides, where would you even go? I'd just use NERV's resources to track you down and bring you back. Then there would really be a problem."
"… Heh… I guess I didn't think that through."
"No you didn't. That's why the grown ups operate the bridge." Misato sighed. "Since we're at the subject of major revelations today… did you know about Kaworu?"
"…"
"Did you know that Kaworu was an Angel?"
Shinji scratched the back of his head. "I did. He told me that himself."
"He did? When?"
"It was during the black out. I brought Hyuuga over to the base and stopped those mercenaries, but there was still someone controlling the power. I found out that it was Rai- oh, he was… not a friend really, but I saved his life once. He had electric powers and was being used by SEELE to cause the black out to steal Adam. During the fight, Kaworu saved my life. Later that day, he revealed himself to me."
"Why didn't you say anything before?"
"Because he also knew I was Spider-Man. We held each others' secret identities and got into a… stalemate of sorts. We argued plenty, but eventually we became friends… somewhat… he didn't like I was Spider-Man, but realized I needed to do it."
Misato realized. "He must have been the one who told you about the Angel inside Unit 03."
"Bardiel, Kaworu told me that was his name. He gave me direction where to go, so I tried to torch the thing. Things went south fast, especially when…"
"When?"
"I… I cornered him at the school." Shinji wiped some tears again. "I wanted to know why he was keeping secrets from me. As it turned out, since he was an Angel, he can somehow see into other worlds, other realities… but he kept dying in all of them. I tried to help him, I told him that he can still choose to do the right thing even if he felt he was trapped. Then he went to the fight and…"
He choked up. Misato quickly put a hand on his head, scratching his hair.
"I was there Misato. He was right there and I couldn't save him, not without starting Third Impact. I let Kaworu die…"
She said nothing. Shinji needed to let out his sadness; it was not her place to tell him it wasn't his fault. Not yet. The pieces were slowly coming together. A lot was answered in this exchange, but now, she needed to ask the important question.
"Why?" She asked. "Why did Kaworu not stop you from being Spider-Man? Why are you even Spider-Man at all?"
"…"
"Shinji? It's okay if you don't answer, but… I need to, no, I want to know why. Why do you fight, even though it causes you a lot of pain?"
"…"
"I was always worried you were going to hurt yourself in the Eva," She sniffed. "That one day, an Angel fight would go bad and you'd die while I was at the Command Center, unable to do anything but watch. But you've been doing this for months. Why are you Spider-Man?"
"… It started, after I got back from my fight with Kotei. Yamashiro told me off for breaking his hand and I got angry. I told him that he was an uncaring jerk and ran off into the night. The next day, he… he said he was sorry. Yamashiro told me how hard it's been for him, that he wanted to do right by me. I wanted to believe him. I was debating all day whether I should tell him about my powers, until that night. He was murdered by a robber."
"…"
"I heard from the officer that the burglar was in the park. I went to track down the man who killed him. I scared him, was going to kill him… but when I saw his face, I realized he was the same man I let go the other night. He stole a purse, I think, and I just… let him pass. There he was, frightened in my grip, having just murdered the closest thing I ever had to a Dad."
Shinji felt hands wrap around his own. Misato gripped them, giving her ward a sympathetic gaze begging him to continue. So he did.
"I stopped what I was doing and ran. I was beginning to a glimpse of who Yamashiro was for the first time, and suddenly he was just gone…"
"Oh Shinji…" Misato frowned. "It wasn't your fault…"
"But Misato-"
"When my father died, I blamed myself too."
Shinji gasped. She never spoke about her father, not since the day with the Angel that dropped itself from the sky. Misato started crying.
"I hated him for most of my life. I wanted nothing more than for him to just up and disappear, because of how much he hurt mom, hurt me… When he saved me in Second Impact I was left with a lot of conflicted, bitter feelings about it all. It took me years to process that darkness, that split between hatred and respect… the truth was, even if I did kill the Angels the way I wanted, I don't think I'll ever get an answer."
"… Misato…"
"I get why you feel this way, more than you know. But their deaths weren't your fault. A burglar killed Yamashiro. Kaworu died so we all can live. Mayumi… you hurt her, yeah, but when the chips were down she still sacrificed herself to save your life. They saw you at your worst and chose to help you. If they can forgive you for what you did, if I can do that, then you deserve to forgive yourself."
"… I'm not sure if I can… but… maybe…"
He lowered his head. There was truth in what he was saying, but Shinji had kept these dark thoughts to himself for so long. Can he truly ever be free? If Misato still hadn't processed her pain, can he move on from his own?
"Is that why you're Spider-Man?" She interrupted him. "Out of guilt for what happened to them?"
Shinji shook his head immediately. He gripped his chest. There was no turning back.
"… that is a part of it. Maybe that was how it started, but it's not the only reason anymore. After I put on the mask, I couldn't ignore people in need any more. I met so many people who were hurt by monsters, those who wanted to be big shots and didn't care about who they hurt, so long as they got to feel strong, or because they thought they knew better. There's an apathy around us that runs deep, that let these people get away with their crimes while innocent people. There's only so much I can do, I know that… but.."
He swallowed a lump in his throat. He blinked away more tears.
"I have a gift. I have the power. And with great power, there must also come…"
"Great responsibility…" Misato finished. She smiled sadly. "I was never going to convince you to stop, was I?"
"I'm sorry, Misato, but I can't quit." Shinji shook his head. "Not while I am what I am. I'm Shinji yeah, but I'm also Spider-Man. Whether because of a twist of fate or an unfortunate accident, that weight fell on my shoulders, so I have to live up to that promise."
"…"
"Y-You can't stop me. Even if you take away the suit, I'll make another. I'm not going to give up as long as I'm around."
Misato breathed in. "Okay."
She let go of his hands and headed to the fridge. Misato took a Yebizu can and poured it down her throat. Shinji was surprised.
"Okay?"
"I won't stop you." She wiped some residue from her lips. "I'm not happy that you're doing this. I'll always be worried about you… but the work you do is important. This is something meaningful to you and the rest of the world. Who am I to start telling you what to do now, anyway? You've been at this longer than I've commanded the bridge."
She slammed the can onto the table and raised a finger towards him.
"But you aren't going to be get off so easily. You're gonna go to school. You're going to get a job. When you're overwhelmed as Spider-Man, or whatever it is you're doing, you're going to take breaks. You can't take care of others, if you can't take care of yourself first."
"Misato-"
"I was consumed by revenge for most of my adult life. I grew bitter. Rageful. I pushed everyone except Ritsuko away, and I only narrowly avoided losing that too. I'm going to make sure you grow up to be a good man, an adult who lives well. So that you don't end up anything… like me…"
Shinji picked himself up and went to Misato. They looked into each others' eyes.
"A kind and loving woman, who took me in when Father didn't?" Shinji smiled. "I wouldn't mind being anything like that."
"… Shinji…"
It came quickly. They caught each other in a fierce hug, as if at any moment the apartment would burn and the world would come to an end. These lost souls were alone for a very long time. Now, together, they are a complete match.
"I love you Misato." Shinji tearfully said. "Thank you, for welcoming me to your home."
"You're the one makes this place home, Shinji…" Misato blinked some tears away. "I love you too."
They stayed together like this for several minutes. They worried that once they let go, reality would fall apart, with Shinji trapped in Unit 01 again, with Misato sitting alone by his bed side. Eventually, though, they parted. Their emotions were spent on this exchange.
Eventually though, both sat back down in their chairs. The air changed around them, one that became brighter thanks to the new trust between them.
"So…" Misato said. "Maybe it's time I learned the whole thing. No punches pulled. Tell me everything from beginning to end."
"Are you sure? It's kind of a long story… about thirty chapters worth…"
"I have all day. If I'm going to be a part of all this, I should probably know what I'm getting into. Fire away."
So Shinji did. Misato needed several drinks to down some of the bullshit.
"You sure you won't be needing our help with moving?"
As school ended, Rei was followed by her new Spider-Clan friends. Touji, Hikari and Kensuke were wonderful friends during the month where Shinji disappeared. She felt as if she was closer to him through them, even if he wasn't there. But some things they couldn't understand.
"Affirmative." Rei answered them. "I need some time to think for myself, as I move to Katsuragi's apartment complex. The place I lived in was handed to me by the Commander. It holds bad memories."
"You need a cleansing of sorts, I see." Touji nodded. "Well, you know who to call…"
"Just don't be late for the party!" Kensuke brought out his camera. "It's been a while since I used this baby, and with Shinji free, we're gonna hound him!"
Rei and Hikari rolled their eyes a bit, the latter patting her friend on the shoulder.
"It's pretty nice getting to know you." Hikari looked away. "Sorry we never did much before."
"It is fine." Rei smiled a bit. "I do not believe I would have been receptive to this some time ago."
"You're not receptive now. Doll."
At the voice, everyone proceeded to turn and glare at the new intruder. Asuka sneered at her classmates. She wore the uniform here, but her mascara was still on.
"Still a traitor to the end, eh Ayanami?" Asuka said. "MY friend hanging out with these losers. You'll take anyone that notices you."
Rei shrunk from her gaze. That incensed Touji, making him get up in Asuka's face and poke her shoulder.
"You've got some backbone insulting her like that, Red. You're the one that ditched her remember? If anyone's treating her like a puppet, it's you, ya demon freak!"
Asuka just smirked. She then grabbed Touji by the helm of his shirt and lifted him into the air, shocking everyone with how effortlessly she made it seem.
"Trust me, stooge, I've got a lot more than a backbone."
At that, Rei and Hikari went to Asuka and grabbed her arms, pulling her away from Touji, making her drop him to the ground. Kensuke picked him up as the girls gave Asuka the riot act.
"Asuka, no." Hikari glared at her former friend. "I don't know what's the matter with you, but you can't just threaten my boyfriend like that!"
"PUH-lease. It's obvious he's just bad for you, but you never took my advice." Asuka turned around. "Come on, Rei, let's ditch these bozos. We need to talk."
She took several steps before she realized Rei wasn't coming with her. Asuka saw her friend clench her fists.
"No."
"No?" Asuka pointed at herself. "You're saying no, after basically dodging me?"
"You have been the one avoiding me." Rei correctly pointed out. "You called me a name you refused to take back. When I was alone, they came to me. If you continue to act this way, you will lose even more of my respect than you already have. The Commander had already betrayed me once. I do not need a second betrayal from you of all people."
Asuka was genuinely shocked upon hearing that. She then scoffed, rather unconvincingly, to all.
"As if I'm anything like him! I don't need anything from you. I don't need anyone!"
She then ran off, to parts unknown to the students. Reis' hands trembled from the encounter, clearly shaken by Asuka's attitude. Hikari placed a hand on her shoulder.
"I do not understand why she is like this." Rei admitted. "I thought she was my… friend…"
"Some friend she is." Touji said, wiping some dust from himself. "No offense, but she's worse than an Eva when you get her mad."
Hikari gave him a glare, before it softened and focused on Rei.
"Sometimes, people go through things and come out worse." Hikari shook her head. "Some of Kodama's boyfriends were like that, nice to her, bad to everyone else, then eventually bad to her. I want to believe Asuka is good, but… she's been like this for days. I can't even reach her."
"Eh, Asuka'll figure out whatever's going on, on her own." Kensuke pushed up his glasses. "Let's give her some space."
Some distance away, Asuka ran into an alley. She didn't cry from this encounter, far from it. She had promised herself long ago that she would never cry again. She had forgotten before, Kaworu made her do it, but she would keep to it this time. No more weakness.
"No more pain. I'll help you when they won't. Those friends of yours will never understand us."
Her new friend had been most wise.
Who would have believed Bardiel, an Angel of all things, would understand her like no one else had? He knew the crushing pressure of expectation; the betrayal of his kin, even as he bent over backwards to please them; how much suffering has led her to dark places; He has been more of a friend than these stupid idiots ever have been.
"They never would." Asuka spat. "They're busy yucking it up and living their perfect little lives to see my true self. Bah. I don't need them.
"We are good together, Asuka. These morons, they mock you to your face, actively resent your genius, and turn on you the moment you show weakness. We will never know weakness again."
Black ooze started surrounding Asuka, who grinned.
"Never again. They'll throw their garbage venom at me? I'm gonna poison them back."
Some eyewitnesses went into cardiac arrest upon witnessing a mysterious black-suited figure crawling up a wall. The people in the city, Tokyo-3 resident and Kokoro refugee alike, had never been more disturbed than when they heard the sound of someone swinging through the air, only to find it wasn't their friendly neighborhood Spider-Man doing so.
Misato was on her thirteenth Yebizu can by the time it was over. Frankly, she was impressed it wasn't more than that. She expected to a lot more.
"I owe my Dad an apology." She said. "I have never heard of a set of parents as spiteful, mean or abusive as your own, Shinji."
"Tell me about it." Shinji sighed. "They've been planning for this their whole lives… I don't know if I can get inside of the Eva after that."
"I'll come up with an excuse- *burp* Sorry. I still can't believe those two boys you keep bringing found out before I did."
"To be fair, they only found out because my mask was ripped off. You're the first one I told. Although I think Ayanami might know something."
"Who knows what goes on in her head? God, all of that story took place in less than a year? I don't wanna think about what the rest of your life will look like. I might just get a heart attack and gray hairs too early."
"It''s going to be, well, quite the challenge." Shinji smiled. "I have to say, you're taking this a lot better than I imagined."
"That's because I had time to process it. Trust me, Shinji, when I found out, I was angry. I'm just learning to live with it." Misato learned in. "If I can be real with you? The moment you hang up the costume for good, I'm gonna throw a big party and bake you a biggest, most delicious cake I can to celebrate it."
"I understand perfectly… although…" Shinji bit his lips a bit at this. "… maybe take a few cooking lessons first?"
Misato rolled her eyes even as she laughed. "Oh har har. No need to rub it in you're a cooking god, while I'm nothing but a helpless monster maker."
"WARK!"
Pen-Pen came out of his room at that moment. He looked up to Shinji expectantly.
"Oh, there you are…" Shinji smirked. "Okay. I'll make you something."
Very quickly, Shinji whipped up some biscuits for Pen-Pen. The little bird nodded and cooed at his favorite chef, digging into the food with gusto. It was then that Shinji remembered something Marie had said. Now that all that baggage had been dealt with…
"So um, Misato? Marie said there were rumors about me. What's with that?"
"Oh that." Misato frowned. "Oh shit, I forgot to say this… okay, so remember when you went inside the Eva?"
Shinji didn't need Spider-Sense to let him know where this was going. "Yeah?"
"Your stunt with Gendo and the Eva got a lot of people's attention. There was an investigation and… well, now most of the upper brass at NERV knows you are Spider-Man."
Pen-Pen was disturbed when a plate dropped next to him, marching the food with him back inside his room.
"WHAT?!" Shinji actually screamed. "YOU DIDN'T THINK TO TELL ME. BEFORE?!"
"I was going to get there, sheesh!" Misato said. "SEELE doesn't know who you are, it's just me, your Father, Fuyutski and the bridge bunnies. You know, the crew you work with?"
"That doesn't help! You know what Fuyutski's like! How did they figure it out?"
"You were pretty careless with your secret, Shinj! Not only did people see you drop off Kaworu as Spider-Man, there's camera footage of you jumping 20 feet into the air smashing your Father. Your costume was also found in the vents."
Shinji gripped his forehead. "I wasn't expecting to get sucked into the Eva… God… who else knows?"
"Nobody else. Aside from your friends, anyway. I guess I better tell you what else went on in my meeting with Fuyutski."
"So… we have recovered our pilot, who also happens to be Spider-Man. He has super strength, agility, the ability to climb walls and create webbing, as well as make a complete fool out of NERV security…"
Misato was nervous. As Commander of NERV now, Fuyutski had every advantage to do harm to both her and Shinji. This very meeting was filled with uncertainty over what the future will entail.
"Sir, if I may-"
Fuyutski raised his hand. "We have already recovered the evidence, but there are still plenty of people at NERV who know the secret. At least we know who they are, so we can contain the leak."
"… very well." Misato nodded. "What are you planning on doing with this information?"
She subtly started moving her hand closer to the skirt. The gun had plenty of bullets. If Fuyutski said something she didn't like…
"Right now? I plan on making Spider-Man an agent for NERV."
Misato blinked, stopping her hand. "What?"
"Simply locking up Pilot Ikari would be impractical, given his abilities. The situation with Unit 01 is under a lot of ambiguity, there are two Angels left on the road map as far as we know, and the Committee are still unaware of the connection. Somehow. In any case, I have officially confirmed we hired Spider-Man as an independent agent from Shinji Ikari. Several employees sign Non-Disclosure Agreements to cover up the truth."
She couldn't believe what she was hearing.
"That can't be right. All of them did?"
"Yes. When asked, they cited times where Spider-Man or Ikari had either saved them or someone they knew." Fuyutski smiled. "It seems Yui's boy grew up well."
It sounded too good to be true. A deal that will benefit Shinji over any of NERV's agendas. But there's usually a catch to these things. She had to ask.
"There's another reason, isn't there? What's your angle on this?"
Fuyutski simply smiled.
"My 'angle' as it were, is that there are only two Angels left. After they are dealt with, SEELE will make a move on our headquarters to retrieve Adam and Lilith. The Evas are effective, but we need a different kind of weapon if we want to have a chance at stopping them. Spider-Man will be exactly that."
Misato's hands clenched into fists. "So that's all…"
"A regrettable sacrifice. But one that Shinji will gladly take, if it means the good of mankind. Besides, we still need him to track down the Angel we call Bardiel. That will be all."
"Bardiel's been free?!"
"No one knows how he got out." Misato explained. "Evidently, Fuyutski thinks you can stop that thing."
"We can't trust him. He was working with Mother behind the scenes."
"I trust him about as far I can throw him. But he raises a good point. Soon we're going to have SEELE against us. With what you said about HERZ and the level of resources SEELE has, you're basically our ace in the hole right about now."
"Unfortunately…" Shinji had to nod that that. "They have Rai, Sunako, probably Naoko if we're really unlucky, but I doubt that. She's against them since Day 1."
"We could use her to our advantage. Sew mistrust."
"I don't know… she really can't be trusted…"
"We can't trust anyone in their inner circle. At this rate, the only thing we have is each other and anyone at NERV who is on our side. Whatever we do, we need to do what we can."
"You're right…" He realized. "Speaking of people I trust, I'm going to web swing away to find my friends. I need to talk to them."
"Oh right, because of the party. The Spider-Clan… heh, that sounds like the name of a fan club."
Shinji went to get changed. Misato sighed, as she turned back to the can. Life had changed so drastically. At one point, her biggest concern was the Angels ending humanity. Now she knew her boy was a superhero, fighting dangerous supervillains and a secret government organization threatening to destroy the planet for their own greed.
To think that her father died for these miserable creatures. She was going down the same path, until now. Spider-Man, no, Shinji Ikari, really changed the game for her. Misato was playing a dangerous game, but she had to be careful.
"Hey."
She had seen Spider-Man up close before. More than once even. But there was a surreality to seeing him without his mask on, to see Shinji's head attached to that body. She had seen his muscles when he first came in, but here she could see how much he's… grown since then. He's struggling to keep a brave face for her, even now. Shinji perched up on the balcony, looking back one last time.
"I'll come back Misato." He tells her. "I'll always come back home."
"I know…" Misato nods. "Go get 'em tiger."
There he went. Misato saw him swing around the city, moving and dancing like he had been restless for too long. He shouted happily as he did so, awakening a sense of hope from the city's crowds.
"You've faced so many trials on your own…" Misato said sadly. "I wish I could do more to help you."
Shinji Ikari hadn't been a boy for a while. He has been a man, forced into such by life. That was something she had to live with. For now, she went back into his room. She took the SDAT player from her pocket and put on Shinji's headphones.
"I'll take the day off from NERV. For now, I'll just relax."
She selected Track 26, her favorite, and played Blue Legend.
Blue darkness surrounds you
It seems to be torn apart by the intensity
The hot wind shakes love
The bond between the two will be a legend
If you close your eyes and listen
I can see you
Fly far away
I'm always by my side
Every time the waves make a noise, I try my courage
If you believe it, nothing is scary
Blue darkness invites you
While shaking the sadness
A distant future, dreaming of this chest
Their vows will be legendary
Blue darkness surrounds you
It seems to be torn apart by the intensity
The hot wind shakes love
The bond between the two will be a legend
Author's Notes:
There we go. The end of Act 2. We just officially ended another arc:
The Kokoro Arc: Ch. 1-13
The Tokyo-3 Arc: Chap 14-18
The Traitor Arc: Chap. 19-24
The Truth and Doubt Arc: Chap. 25-31
Is it weird I felt a little sorry for Gendo this chapter? He brought on himself no matter the continuity, but there's something just really sad about the guy? His goal was always going to fail no matter what and he's pushed away anybody who would care. That stings. Shinji kinda overcame his father physically and morally by in this fic by choosing to respect Kaworu's sacrifice and move forward, so he doesn't end up alone in the end.
Like how Chapter 13 ended in a way similar to Spider-Man 1, the ending to this chapter was made intentionally to be like Spider-Man 2's ending. If Act 1 was about getting Shinji to a point where he can be Spider-Man, Act 2 was about testing Shinji and proving he himself is worth it, with or without the costume. Shinji went through many challenges that tested his resolve, whether he or Spider-Man was really all the struggle that came with it, ultimately coming out on top and getting to tell the truth to the one person he had to. Shinji earned his happy ending here, which will carry on for the rest of the fic.
Not that things will get easier from here on. Asuka still has the symbiote, SEELE is still powerful, who knows what's going on with Naoko Akagi, what will Yui do inside of Unit 01? All these questions will form the basis of Act 3, along with some universe building… that I won't share for now. Mostly because I'm still trying to think of what would be appropriate lol.
I'd like to temper some expectations regarding Bardiel/Venom though. In this story, there isn't exactly one singular Venom ala Eddie Brock/Venom, it's going to be more like Spider-Man 3 where the symbiote itself is the threat and the damage it brings about to it's hosts. Asuka is the most obvious case right now, but it's going to be some body-jumping involved. There won't be a set host, at least until near the end.
Time to answer reviews:
Real Remainder: No hiatus. I'm gonna keep updating as much as possible, because I want to get this fic done by the end of the year. Stay tuned!
Irus: The webbing itself didn't last that long. The backpack was simply stuck in the vents until someone found it. Some traces of the webbing were found around the backpack, though not enough that if they pulled a DNA test they'd be able to track Shinji. Not that they needed it given their assumptions, but the point still stands.
Truenofan86: It is pretty funny to think about. Shinji and Peter's lives are a constant cycle of pain and misery, with brief moments of respite and victory among it all. But things will be get better for now. For him I mean, not Asuka.
Author0fntent: Honestly, the Superior Spider-Man connection didn't even occur to me! It just seemed natural that if Yui wanted to get her scenario back on track she needed Shinji in order to do it, though thinking about she also did have the whole "I want to prove myself better than Shinji" thing going for her like with Otto. The Celestials were always intended to have this role in the fic, though I'll give the movie credit for giving me a far simpler idea of how to got about it than originally.
Z-King: Literally the best thing Gendo and Yui ever did for their son was letting him undo everything they've ever worked towards in Thrice Upon a Time. Other than that, Shinji's better off being taken away by Child Protection Services.
Nostalgia Fiction: I never considered Yui as a foil for Asuka before, but what you said makes a lot of sense! I always thought Naoko had a bit more in common with Asuka, as they're both these bright, intelligent women who also put a lot into their work (Asuka with Eva, Naoko with the MAGI) and wind up in these very toxic relationships with their Ikari men, to the point where they both suffered a mental breakdown. Although Asuka didn't do anything quite like what Naoko had tone to the first Rei... yeesh. Interesting to think about, perhaps both Yui and Naoko can be considered foils for Asuka.
Jackie Lin Tho: He's gonna get it soon, we just gotta wrap up some storylines first.
Gaterite: Spider-Verse is going to be it's own thing, a sequel. This will be a bit of a spoiler, but while Morlun will be in the story, he won't be the main villain. He's sort of a catalyst for the characters to interact with the real bad guy pulling the strings. No other Inheritors will be in it as the fic will take place after their own defeat.
Next chapter: Friendly Neighborhood Superhero.
Omake:
"Making a Deal…" by GainaxVel3o
Spider-Man swung around the city for a bit, feeling refreshed after the talk with Misato.
"Okay first things first. I head on over to Rei's, tell her who I am, maybe take her a nice trip around town and we'll head into the party together. Should be easy peasy-"
"Spider-Man."
Shinji immediately came to a stop, rolling across a rooftop and banging himself on a chimney.
"Ow…" He got up clutching his head. "Okay, who's the idiot that interrupted my swinging? I was in a pretty good mood right about now."
Suddenly, a red mist formed in front of him. A cruel, sinister laugh rang through his ears, as the fog soon transformed into a creature born from paintings of demons. A long haired man, red all over, with a fierce grin.
"Greetings. I am Mephisto." The embodiment of the Devil spoke. "I have come to bargain…"
"Can it be some other time? I really got some places to be and I'd rather be spending my time with people I actually care about instead of some Mephistopheles looking asshole from nowhere."
Mephisto blinked. "No, trust me this is important."
"I don't know, my time's pretty precious-"
"Fine, I'll make it quick! Promise!"
"Okay." Spider-Man placed hands on his hips. "What do you want?"
"I come to make a deal." Mephisto smirked. "I will erase everyone's memories of you being Spider-Man… in exchange for-"
"Nope."
That took Mephisto back, making him fall to the floor. He quickly picked himself up, but he lost some composure.
"What do you mean no?!"
"Like," Shinji shrugged. "Yeah it sucks a lot of people know who I am, without my permission mind you, but undoing my bad choices every time I make them is pretty lazy. No thanks."
"But- but this will make your life so much better!"
"There's usually a catch to these things anyway, especially when it's the Devil. What do you want?"
"Well, I was going to ask that you trade it for your marriage-"
Spider-Man threw his head back and cackled like a loon.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAH, marriage!? I'm not even married yet, you nutso!"
"But you may! Eventually! I'd like it now for insurane."
"No. You're not getting it. Go away."
"You know, other Spider-Men are much nicer about this than you. Peter Parker was perfectly willing to do that. He traded his marriage for the love of his life."
Shinji's shoulders sagged a bit. "Yeah I guess if I had to save my wife I might do something like that."
"Oh no, not his wife. His Aunt."
"… what?"
"Yes, his elderly Aunt got shot because he revealed his secret to the world, so he sold his marriage to me In exchange for both his secret to be kept and his aunt alive."
"O… kaaaaaaaay?" Shinji frowned underneath the mask. "Does he at least live in torment about it or-"
"No, he actually doesn't know. His wife does."
"… No offense, but that Parker guy sounds like a jerk and an idiot. I'm not doing that."
Spider-Man launched a web line as Mephisto scowled.
"You're no fun."
"You're the devil, you don't deserve fun."
With that, Shinji swung away to Rei's apartment. Mephisto sighed.
"Stupid spiders. You win again, Strange."
A man in a goatee and an elaborate cape appeared in a ghostly, astral form.
"Pay up, loser. We still got plenty more to free Peter's soul."