A.N.: This story was commissioned by Anonymous.
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.

12 Brides and a Strawberry
Chapter Two

Karakura Town; Kurosaki House

A knock came at the door. Yuzu, her ears still ringing, got up off the couch and hurried to it. Opening it, she found Uryu, Chad, Keigo and Mizuro all standing in the doorway.

Pushing his glasses up, Uryu smiled at Ichigo's sister. "Hello, Yuzu. Sorry for arriving so abruptly but..."

Keigo scratched the back of his head. "Considering we heard Ichigo's scream from all the way across town, we wanted to know if he was okay before the town suffered aftershocks."

Chad looked up at the ceiling in the direction of his friend's room. Not only did Ichigo almost knock the earth off its axis with that cataclysmic scream, his spiritual pressure was erratic. He could practically feel the Substitute's rage from just standing in the doorway.

Yuzu let the others in and closed the door. "I don't know what's going on. Dad was on the phone talking to someone and went up to Ichigo's room afterwards. Then suddenly Ichigo just starts screaming."

Still on the couch, Karin looked over her shoulder and grimaced. "Yeah, and judging from what I can still hear, the beating hasn't stopped."

Uryu frowned. "Do you know who was on the phone with your father?"

"Dunno. I think Isshin may have called the guy Shunsui though."

All four young men recognized that men, Keigo and Mizuro remembering the last time the Head-Captain had decided to grace their presence. "What does he want?" Keigo asked angrily. While nothing happened to Ichigo, the clear and obvious threat Kyoraku insinuated made him not want to trust the strange Soul Reaper.

"I dunno. But whatever it was, it made Ichigo go nuclear."

The group carefully made their way up the stairs, treating every step like they were walking through a hazardous minefield. The four tiptoed their way across the hall until they reached Ichigo's door, hearing a lot of punching going on.

"YOU'VE DONE A LOT OF CRAZY SHIT BUT NOW YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR!" roared an angry Ichigo from behind the door.

"Ichigo, just calm down! Everyone's already agree-"

"NO! MY ANSWER IS NO!"

"But Ichigo-

"I SAID NOOOOOO!"

Wham!

Out of sheer survival instinct, Uryu summoned his small bow and Chad activated his Fullbring, gesturing for Keigo and Mizuro to get behind him. They didn't know how Ichigo would react to their presence if he was being this slowly opened the door and was only partially surprised by the scene that awaited them.

In the middle of the room stood Ichigo, holding his father by the collar with one hand and holding up a bloody fist in another. Isshin had been beaten so badly his face looked like a swollen pufferfish. In the corner hiding was Kon, looking absolutely terrified from seeing Ichigo rage like this.

"P-Please, Ichigo..." Isshin put his hands up. "Why are you so upset? Are you gay? Is that what's the probl-"

Wham!

Everyone cringed from the punch to the face Ichigo delivered. When the teen raised his fist again to strike, Uryu fired an arrow in front of him to get his attention, his arrow flying out the window. "Enough! One more punch like that, Ichigo, and you'll kill your father!"

While Ichigo's anger didn't evaporate, it did go down a few levels upon seeing his friends standing in the doorway. "Uryu? What are you guys doing here?"

"Ichigo," Uryu picked his words carefully. Whatever Isshin had been on the phone with the Head-Captain about had made Ichigo completely snap and he did not want to try to have to subdue Ichigo by force. "We came because your spiritual pressure is raging out of control."

"And the scream we heard that's got everyone reaching for the earplugs," Mizuro added.

Chad stepped forward and faced Ichigo, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder. "You need to calm down. Tell us what happened and we can try to help."

"Chad, I-"

The tall Mexican's expression turned harsh. "Ichigo. Drop him. Now."

Not wanting to start a fight, Ichigo reluctantly let go of his father. Isshin hit the ground with a hard thud. "Ow!" Taking a deep breath, Ichigo turned around and sat on the edge of his bed. "Guys, I'm beyond angry because of the deal that bastard made with Head-Captain Kyoraku and Kisuke."

"What deal?" Keigo asked with a scowl.

Ichigo turned his attention to Uryu and Chad. "You remember that weird incident that the Soul Reapers were involved in while we were gone? Where that crazy guy tried to replace the Soul King with some kid? What was his name?"

"Tokinada. Tokinada Tsuniyashiro," answered Uryu.

"Yeah. You know how the Head-Captain managed to get a truce with Nel, Ginjo and the Sternritters?"

"I don't know who any of those people are but I'm guessing it's important," Mizuro noted, taking a seat in a chair while Keigo sat on the table.

"Well, Head-Captain Kyoraku and Kisuke decided the best way to keep the peace would be to have an arranged marriage..."

All four young men knew exactly where this was going...

"...and my dad offered me up as the groom."

"What?!" Keigo gaped while the other three gasped in surprise. "Mister Kurosaki, it's the twenty-first century! You can't just do that!"

Uryu frowned. "So Kyoraku wants to you marry an Arrancar?"

"Is it Nel? Or Miss Halibel?" Chad asked.

Ichigo's expression turned angry again and his foot came down on Isshin's stomach. "Oh, it's way worse than that. They want me to be the lucky groom to twelve wives! Three Soul Reapers, three Arrancars, three Sternritter, Tatsuki, Riruka and Orihime!"

This time all four of Ichigo's friends stood there with gaping mouths. Uryu didn't even bother trying to adjust his glasses. "Did I hear that right? Your father arranged a marriage between you and twelve women?"

Keigo, ever the idiot, slid off the desk and started to bow at Ichigo's feet. "Ichigo! You're a god! A god!"

Having decided that now was the best time to come out, Kon slipped out from behind cover and angrily pointed a fluffy paw at Ichigo. "Hey! What gives? How come he gets literally all the chicks?! He gets my sweet Orihime and that Soul Reaper with the huge jugs!"

"Rangiku is going to be a bride too?" Chad raised an eyebrow at the idea of Ichigo getting hitched, let alone with Rangiku.

"A GOD!"

Keigo was the next person to feel the wrath of Ichigo's foot, the angry teen silencing him with a stomp. "Yeah, Dad said that it's Riruka, Orihime, Tatsuki, Yoruichi, Rangiku, Mashiro, Nel, Halibel, one of the girls I saved back in Hueco Mundo and three of the Sternritters I fought."

Regaining his senses, Uryu leaned back against the wall. "Why that many though?"

Isshin weakly raised a hand. "Kyoraku and Yoruichi asked if anyone wanted to marry Ichigo as a symbolic show of unity. All twelve women came forward."

"Ichigo's gonna need a bigger bed," Mizuro noted with a chuckle.

"I'm not doing it. I'm not marrying anyone."

Kon just continued to point at Ichigo angrily. "Seriously? You've twelve babes offering themselves on a platter and you say no?! What are you, gay?!"

POW!

Ichigo punched Kon hard. Despite being made of cotton fluff, the impact he made still left a crack on the wall. Keigo got up and nursed his sore head. "C'mon, Ichigo. If it's for peace, why not enjoy having twelve babes all to yourself? I mean, you're never going to get a bigger opportunity to marry Orihime since you're such a prude."

"No! I'm not doing this!"

Keigo just gave him a deadpan expression. "I think the stuffed toy is on to something. What are you, gay?"

POW!

Keigo was the next to be left sprawled on the floor next to Isshin and Kon. "No. I'm not gay, guys! But I'm not going to marry someone because this prick and Kisuke made some agreement without telling me! I mean," Ichigo stretched out his arms and gestured to the room they were in. "Twelve wives? Where the hell could they stay? My closet was barely big enough for Rukia! How could I possibly support them? I work a part-time job for crying out loud! Ikumi ain't gonna bump up my pay if I tell her 'Hey, I got hitched to twelve women, think you could give me a five hundred percent pay raise'. She'd either laugh her ass off or kick my ass off."

"Probably both," Mizuro lamented. "I'm certain that the Soul Society would have figured something out or they wouldn't have gone through with this."

"I doubt it." Taking another deep breath, Ichigo shook his head. "I can't do this. Not even for the sake of the Soul Society. Someone else is going to have to take one for the team."

Uryu gave his friend a skeptical look. He had a feeling there was another reason Ichigo was saying no to this bizarre marriage but just wouldn't bring himself to say it in front of so many people. "So are you saying you're okay if someone else marries Orihime and Tatsuki?"

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"Think about it. Sure, they probably said yes to the idea of marrying you specifically but it's possible it doesn't matter whom the groom is as far as the Soul Society is concerned. They want to make a symbolic show of unity no matter what. Now that our friends have already agreed to it, it's unlikely Head-Captain Kyoraku and the Thirteen Court Guard Squads are going to let them back out. If not you, I'm certain that Kyoraku will find someone else willing to marry them like Byakuya."

Uryu was only being partially honest. He highly doubted that everyone involved would be okay with marrying anyone who wasn't Ichigo, especially Orihime and Tatsuki. And while the likes of Halibel and the Sternritter might be okay with marrying someone else such as Byakuya, the fact that so many women were willing to slip on a wedding ring for Ichigo showed just how many lives the Substitute has touched over the years. Uryu would have even went so far as to call Ichigo an alpha if he weren't so dense half the time. But he figured the argument would at least put a crack in Ichigo's obstinance.

The thought of Orihime marrying Byakuya of all people rankled Ichigo fierce and his angry expression returned. "Like hell I'd allow that. I crashed an execution. I can easily crash a wedding."

Chad was glad Uryu was able to get Ichigo to think differently on the matter, although he had doubts about what the Quincy had said. "So what are you going to do now, Ichigo?"

"I..."

Staring down at his hands, Ichigo felt like he was being pulled in two separate directions. On the one hand, he didn't want to go through with this just because his dad signed him up; and on the other hand he didn't want to risk Kyoraku marrying off his friends to people he didn't want or to risk the fragile peace that'd settled between everyone. "I don't know," he confessed, hanging his head. "I'm too pissed to think straight."

Mizuro walked over to Keigo and helped him up while Chad picked up Isshin, slinging the barely conscious man over his shoulder. "We're going to be downstairs in your dad's clinic. We'll try to talk to you some more once you've calmed down," Chad said, picking up Kon while he was at it.

Uryu was the last to leave, giving Ichigo a deep, inquisitive look. "I don't like this either, Ichigo," he started to say when they were both alone. "But perhaps you should give it some more thought considering how many women are agreeing to be your betrothed."

"Uryu, what is it you really want to ask?"

Pushing up his glasses, Uryu decided to just ask the obvious question. "Do you prefer men?"

"OUT!" Ichigo screamed, his rage returning. "I'M SICK OF ALL OF YOU QUESTIONING MY SEXUALITY! GET OUT! NOW!"

Uryu got out of the room with a burst of Hirenkyaku before he was the next one with a black eye. Despite the rage-filled outburst he'd received, the crafty Quincy afforded himself a small smile. He already knew that Ichigo liked women; Uryu just wanted to get some fun out of his expense.

Letting out a sigh, Ichigo fell back onto the bed. He felt tired and exhausted. The last hour alone felt more draining than any battle he'd fought. For several minutes, a weariness washed over him and he felt sleep start to take him. But his impending slumber was impeded when he heard soft footsteps approach his bedroom. He sat up and wiped his tired eyes. "Yuzu? That you?"

The door opened and it wasn't Yuzu coming in. "Hi, Ichigo!" cheered a very merry Orihime. In her hands was a box of freshly baked bread. "Did you hear the news? We're going to be married!"

Part of Ichigo had assumed that Orihime had been coerced into this against her will by Kyoraku or one of the others. To hear her so cheerful told him that she had been only eager to share Ichigo with eleven other women. "Ori...hime..." he started, feeling awkward considering what they were supposed to be now. "Um...what are you doing here?"

"Oh, I wanted to come by to talk to you. Yoruichi's got all the girls at Kisuke's to have a round table with them to discuss how our marriage is going to work. I baked some bread for the occasion and wanted to share it with you." She opened the box and saw several loaves of freshly made bread. The smell of Orihime's cooking filled the room and it helped alleviate Ichigo's anger.

But the gnawing in Ichigo's heart told him that he had to put his foot down on this. He couldn't just go through with this because it was expected of him. Not this time. "Orihime..."

The sad look on Ichigo's face told the teen girl all she needed to know. Her happy smile fell from her face and she set the box of bread down and sat down next to him. "You don't wanna get married?"

"I..." Turning to face her, Ichigo tried as hard as he could to put his feelings into word without trampling all over Orihime's heart. "Orihime...I feel the same way about you as you do for me," he confessed. Putting a hand on the girl's shoulder, Ichigo looked deep into his friend's hazel eyes. "Nothing would make me happier than to marry you, Orihime. I mean that. But this..." He gestured to the direction of Urahara shop where the scheming shopkeeper was. "This isn't fair to us. If we are going to be married, it should be because we love each other. Not because our friends decided it behind our backs."

While Orihime was delighted to know that Ichigo felt the same way about her as she did him, it still hurt to hear him reject the marriage proposal when they were all okay with it. "Are you sure? I swear to you, Ichigo, that I won't let this marriage be a prison for you. None of us will."

"I'm sorry, Orihime. But my mind's made up."

It killed Ichigo to see the sad look on Orihime's face but she understood Ichigo's position. "Okay then. I'll...I'll just leave this here." She pushed the bread away and stood up. "I think you should go and talk to everybody at Kisuke's. They might not believe me if I tell them. Excuse me..."

Turning away, the dejected Orihime walked out of the room. Feeling like a bastard, Ichigo looked over at the box of bread and frowned, having second thoughts about rejecting the marriage proposal after hearing Orihime talk.

Sighing, he put his shoes on and headed out the door. As he walked down the stairs, he could hear his sisters treating their father for the massive concussion and broken nose he'd given him, Keigo and Kon laying on a table next to him. Karin gave him a peculiar glance as he walked past her, having seen Orihime's sad face as she left the house.

"Hey Sis?"

"Yeah, Ichigo?"

"Have another bed made." A surge of anger returned to him and he balled his fists. "Kisuke's about to join my dad..."

Meanwhile...

Soul Society; Mayuri's Lab

Mayuri sat at his desk, typing out keys as he watched the incubator attached to a device next to the computer begin growing the next Nemuri. "What a pity Nemuri Nanago had to reconstructed like this. I would have been very eager to see if she was capable of reproducing offspring. The child of of someone of her nature and Ichigo Kurosaki's would have been most interesting to dissect."

The mad scientist heard someone approach him from behind and turned around in his chair, giving the intruder a scathing glare.

"And just what do you want?"

Fifteen minutes later...

Urahara Shop

Ichigo stormed into the shop, ready to give the shady shopkeeper the same treatment he gave his father. "Where is he?"

Tessai stood dutifully at the register, Jinta and Ururu putting up candy nearby. "The boss is in his workshop. He is busy with one of your brides, Ichigo."

"What are you talking about? Doing what?"

"Bringing her back to life. You wouldn't want to marry a corpse, would you? Bambietta Basterbine was felled in battle against Sajin Komamura and her comrade with the Z schrift brought her back to life as a zombie. Kisuke is undoing the zombification and bringing her back to life."

Ichigo was confused by the news. "What do you mean, bringing her back to life? He can do that?"

"Well Mayuri was able to do something similar to Arrancars and Sternritters. It was decided that Kisuke would be the one to revive her since his methods have more...pleasant results. But your brides are all in the living room talking. They all arrived a few minutes ago so they're probably getting started. Kisuke gave the Arrancars Gigais to stay in. "

"They're not my brides, Tessai. I'm not going through with this."

Jinta balked, having seen several of Ichigo's would-be brides. "Are you serious? All those hotties just lined up to marry you and you're gonna turn that down?! What are you-"

Ichigo's raised a fist in anger. "I dare you to finish that sentence..." he growled. "But fine...I'll go talk to them."

Walking past the frightened Jinta, Ichigo headed down the hallway. Passing by the door to Kisuke's workshop, he saw a note on the door addressed specifically to him.

"Dear Ichigo. I already predicted your reaction to the news of your little engagement and took the precaution of fortifying my lab to prevent you from busting down my door. It would not be a good idea to disrupt me in the middle of my work unless necrophilia is your thing. I trust you would not risk leveling half the town to try to strangle one poor candy shop owner who was only looking out for your best interests. ~Kisuke."

"P.S. Congratulations on your engagement! I'm so happy for you!"

"I am going to stuff that hat down his fucking throat..." seethed a malicious Ichigo. Putting an ear to the door, he heard all sorts of strange sounds listening to Kisuke revive Bambietta; he heard what sounded like a blowtorch igniting, then a saw cutting a log, then a jackhammer and then finally "Mooooooo!"

"...Did I just hear a cow?!" Shaking his head, he turned away from the door and saw the door to the living room cracked open. Before he opened it and rained on everyone's parade, something compelled him to stop for a moment and listen to what everyone had to say...

Kisuke took the liberty of setting up a large round table for all of Ichigo's brides to gather around. Halibel, Nel and Sung-Sun were in the Gigais provided by Kisuke and dressed in regular Human clothes. Yoruichi sat at the head of the table in her usual orange jacket and black pants while Rangiku and Mashiro sat opposite her in their Gigais. Ichigo noticed how the human and Quincy group were missing a member each. Orihime had not yet arrived and Bambietta was still in the process of being revived by Kisuke. He did notice the litany of scars on Candice and Meninas and wondered what had happened to his two former enemies after he'd fought them. The last thing he took note of was the black bracelets that all but Tatsuki were wearing before realizing that they were all wearing power-suppressing bands.

"Alright then. I was hoping that Orihime would show up but she's probably still talking things over with Ichigo. So then, let's get started." Yoruichi sat down in a chair and addressed everyone. "Before we go through with this massive marriage to Ichigo, we need to lay down some ground rules and figure out some logistical matters."

Halibel, wearing a black t-shirt and jeans, was the first to speak. "I presume we're not going to live in that small house of his? I do not wish to share the fate of Rukia Kuchiki and get crammed into his closet."

Tatsuki and Riruka couldn't help but give deadpan expressions. "Seriously? Ichigo did that?" said Tatsuki.

"Even I wouldn't be that cruel and I stuffed her into a doll..." Riruka added, much to everyone's confusion.

All Ichigo could do was cringe and continue listening.

"Kisuke and I thought of that." She turned to the Quincy and Arrancars. "Are any of you aware of when we fought the Bounts?"

Meninas answered, "Vaguely. They were a race created during a freak accident that tried to exact revenge on the Soul Society for their slaughter."

"Sounds familiar," Candice added with a look of impatience.

"Yes. Before he launched his attack, the leader of the Bounts, Jin Kariya, had his base of operations at a large manor located on the outskirts of town. It's the perfect place that's big enough for us all to live in. Kisuke and Tessai have already started renovating it. Everyone gets their own personal room and Ichigo gets a room big enough for all of us."

The idea of living in a mansion made Meninas's eyes light up. "That's perfect! I can finally leave that dingy house we've been crammed in since that freak let me and Candi go."

"Question." Tatsuki leaned forward and gave the woman who convinced her to do this a stern glare. "How exactly is this all going to work? Are we having one large wedding or twelve separate ones."

Halibel spoke faster than Yoruichi could, gesturing to her two companions. "Ours can be all together. Is that going to be a problem with you, Nelliel?"

Wearing a red hoodie and black pants, the greenette shook her head. "That's not a problem for me. Although I'm going to need to have Orihime fix the crack in my mask so I don't revert to my child state at the worst possible moment."

Tatsuki could only raise an eyebrow at that statement. "Okay, I feel that there's a lot ya'll are going to have to get me up to speed on when this is over..."

Yoruichi turned back to Halibel. "I presume you won't be present very often considering you are the ruler of Hueco Mundo?"

"I won't be around all the time. But I will be by as often as I can. Sung-Sun and Nel will remain here whenever I am absent."

"That's fine with me. As for you two..." Yoruichi looked over at the two lieutenants. "Is Kensei and Toshiro alright with this?"

"Kensei said he was fine with it since he's got Shuhei to do most of the legwork. He says I can stay over here to attend to Ichi-Berry unless I'm needed over at the Soul Society in case of an emergency."

"I've talked it at length with my captain as well, Lady Yoruichi. I can balance being Ichigo's wife and being the lieutenant of Squad Ten."

"Very well. I'll leave things to you two to keep things under wraps with the Soul Society. Since I'm not longer a captain and no longer the head of my clan, my brother has given me his and the clan's blessing to marry Ichigo since he's done so much for us." Turning back to the Quincies and Arrancars, Yoruichi addressed the next item on her agenda. "Now then. This next part is nonnegotiable. I am well aware that, with the exception of Tatsuki, everyone at this table has been enemies with each other at some point in the past. But as long as we're all with Ichigo, that means no more fighting." She held up her bracelet that all but one of them shared. "Unless it's an emergency, these stay on. Ichigo doesn't need us getting into an argument and blowing up the house."

"That's alright with me," Meninas said, looking over at the Arrancar women. "But you're definitely going to want to keep a collar on Bambi. She's not exactly the most stable of people."

"Yeah, we heard about that. Kisuke's already got a Sekki Rock collar around her while he finishes bringing her back. Until we're sure she can be trusted, it stays on. Now then..." Yoruichi turned to the two Humans, her eyes focusing on Tatsuki. "Since you're the only one of the three with a family, we decided to keep your wedding a secret. When you feel the time is right, you can tell your parents at least a version of the truth that they can believe."

"Fair enough. I'm only doing this for Ichigo and Orihime's sake. Not the Soul Society's. But I will say this: Orihime gets married first." She looked at the others with eyes that refuse to bargain. "Everyone else can wait their turn. Got it?"

Tatsuki and Halibel stared each other down for a tense moment before the blonde gave a small smile. "Oh I like you..."

The talk was interrupted when Candice slammed her fist down onto the table. "Alright already. We already agreed to this proposal of yours! When can you have Orihime Inoue heal us." The Sternritter pointed at the scars on her face. "I am not going to my wedding looking like the Bride of Goddamn Frankenstein."

"Yeah, those scars and stitches are not cute at all," Riruka couldn't help but add.

Yoruichi raised a hand, gesturing for the lime-greenette to calm down. "Don't worry. I've already talked it over with Orihime and Kisuke. We'll get you two fixed up as soon as your friend is brought back. By the way, I've been meaning to ask something." The werecat cocked her head to the side as she looked at the Quincies. "Is Bambietta aware enough in her present state to understand what was going on?"

"Not really. Gigi has been giving her small amounts of blood to keep her zombified but at this point her mind's shot. I imagine Kisuke Urahara will tell her why she's being brought back once she's revived."

"That doesn't sound horrible at all," sarcastically said Tatsuki, Ichigo thinking it as well.

"Anyway, we'll go over dresses and rings tomorrow. And yeah, Tatsuki, I agree that Orihime has the right to be Ichigo's first wife. Ah!" The side door opened and the orangette walked into the room. "Speak of the devil. How'd it go with Ichigo?"

"Um..."

Orihime's despondent face told it all. Yoruichi sat back and sighed. "I take it Ichigo didn't take the news well?"

Taking a seat next to Tatsuki and Riruka, Orihime shook her head. "No...he doesn't want to get married. He said...um..." She hung her head. "He says it isn't fair for him to get married because he has to."

Yoruichi could only facepalm. "That boy. As stubborn as ever..."

Mashiro frowned. "So that means no marriage? Does he not like any of us?"

Still listening, Ichigo flinched.

Candice was fuming. "The hell do you mean he doesn't want to get married? He's got eleven smoking hot women who all stepped up to the altar. What is he, gay?"

'Why does everyone keep asking that?!' Ichigo thought bitterly.

"Wait so if there's no marriage, then that means Bambi doesn't need to be revived anymore. She can go back to being Gigi's zombie," noted Meninas.

Ichigo's gut churned. He knew of what happened to Toshiro and Rangiku when they were defeated and fell under the Z Sternritter's control. That wasn't a fate he'd want anyone to suffer through, enemy or not.

"Dammit! No marriage means that Mini and I aren't going to be fixed. Dammit! I wanna look at the mirror without cringing! Sure," the Sternritter gestured to her and her partner. "Mini and I are in this for personal reasons but we don't have a problem with Ichigo Kurosaki being our husband. But you guys all agreed for more than just the alliance truce."

'...huh?'

Seeing the downtrodden faces on Rangiku, Mashiro, Riruka, Nel and Orihime all made the emotional knife in Ichigo's heart drive itself deeper. And the pain only grew as they kept talking. "But...Ichigo means so much to us..." Nel started, looking down at the table.

Holding a stuffed bunny in her lab, Riruka let out a deep sigh. "We all owe Ichigo so much for all he's done for us. Why can't he let us make him happy?"

Yoruichi shook her head, feeling a little dejected herself. "I don't see what the problem is. All of us care so much about him. Why can't he see that?"

"I know..." Orihime hung her head, hating that she had to be the one to break the bad news.

Unable to bear it anymore, Ichigo opened the door. "Hey," he said, shocking everyone with his sudden disappearance.

Seeing Ichigo walk into the room, Yoruichi raised an eyebrow. "I was wondering how long it'd take you to come in. You were standing there forever."

"Wait, how long did you know I was there?"

"Since we first heard you thunder into the shop like an elephant," Halibel said, having sussed out Ichigo earlier with her Pesquisa.

Taking a seat in the unoccupied chair, Ichigo looked down at his hands for a moment before looking back up at everyone. "Is what you all said the truth?"

"Every word, Ichigo." Nel gave her friend a tender smile. "Most of us owe you a debt, Ichigo. Without you we'd be dead or worse. Becoming your wives would be a small step towards paying back that debt."

"You guys! You don't have to feel like you owe me-"

"Ichigo..."

The young man was cut off when Rangiku, who'd mostly stayed silent the whole conversation, spoke up. "No, we don't have to do anything, Ichigo. But we want to. Do you think all of us would raise our hand in marriage if it was Byakuya or Kenpachi? Because I know I wouldn't. I know none of them would." When Ichigo fell silent, Rangiku continued, "You've touched all our lives, Ichigo. Let us be with you and make you happy."

Hearing the words come out of Rangiku rocked Ichigo to his core and he realized that all eleven women were serious about being his wife. He took a deep breath before collecting his thoughts. "Okay. If you're all serious about this...then I'll marry you all."

"Really?!" gasped a happy Nel and Orihime, making everyone next to them look at them funny.

"But...how is this even supposed to work?"

Yoruichi brought everyone's attention back to her. "We'll parse out the fine print tomorrow. In the meantime, why don't we all get some rest and-"

Crash!

The door to the living room was kicked down, making everyone jump. There, standing in the broken doorway in tattered clothing was Bambietta Basterbine, very alive and very pissed. A collar was wrapped around her neck to suppress her powers but the bloodthirsty look in her eyes said that might not even be a factor when murder was involved.

"YOU!" Bambietta's eyes were burning red with rage as she pointed a finger at Candice and Meninas. "You fucking killed me! You bitches!"

"Actually it was Gigi that killed you. We just watched," said Meninas matter-of-factly.

Tatsuki nudged Yoruichi's arm. "There's a lot you guys need to get me up to speed on..."

"First you kill me, then you have Gigi turn me into a Zombie and I get beaten up eight ways from Sunday, then I wake up to find out I'm alive and you sold me into a marriage to some Soul Reaper just so you can move out of the safe house!"

"And get our bodies fixed too..."

Orihime scratched the back of her head. "Should...we leave? I get the feeling this is about to get ugly..."

Halibel merely sat back in her chair, her hand ready to slip off the power-dampening bracelet in case the crazy Sternritter tried to fight everyone. "After all the Vandenreich has put me through, this is entertaining."

"You shut up!" Bambietta shouted. "You want me to marry Ichigo Kurosaki? I don't even know what he fucking looks like!"

Candice merely cocked a thumb to the man sitting next to her. "Well here you go. Here's your fiancé, Bambi. Try not to blow his balls off on your wedding night."

"Before you kill anyone, I'd recommend a shower," Sung-Sun noted, wearing a white dress while fanning her face and rankling her nose. "You literally smell like a corpse."

"Please, like I'd ever marry someone like..." Her eyes turned over to Ichigo. Because the two had never came face to face this was the first time Bambietta had ever actually seen Ichigo Kurosaki. When she took in how handsome her new husband was, hearts shot out of her eyes. "Holy cow, he's a hottie!"

Riruka merely looked at the ragged girl funny. "Huh, so that's what it's like from the other side..."

Later that night...

Ichigo's Room

Feeling even more tired than before, Ichigo sat down on his bed once more. After Candi and Mini had dragged Bambietta away to go get her cleaned up and in clothes that didn't smell like death, the group had decided to end their meeting for the night and come back later to talk things over more now that all parties had agreed on the marriage.

The door opened and Ichigo felt his heart warm a little to see Orihime walk back into the room. "Oh hey, Orihime. What's up?"

"I just came by to see how you're doing. Your dad's downstairs explaining everything to your sisters. Um...did you beat him up?"

"I was not happy when he set this up without telling me. Um..." He grabbed the box of bread that the orangette had originally brought with her. "It's no longer warm but you wanna eat this with me?"

Smiling happily, Orihime sat down next to him and grabbed a piece of bread. The now betrothed orange-heads ate in silence for a moment while they ate, letting the weight of their situation sink in. "So...we're getting married?" Ichigo awkwardly asked after he finished his bread.

Orihime waited until she finished eating to respond. Taking the box and setting it to the side, the orangette turned to Ichigo and nervously took hold of his hands. "Ichigo, I know this is bizarre. For both of us. This isn't what neither of us wanted." She knew what Ichigo wanted to say earlier and decided to lay it all on the table. "I don't know about Nel, Rangiku or Riruka. And I can't speak for Tatsuki. But I...I want you to know something, Ichigo." She leaned forward until Ichigo could see his reflection in her soft, hazel eyes.

Holding his hands against her chest, Orihime gave the warmest smile she could give him. "I want you know that no matter what, you'll always have a wife that genuinely loves you unconditionally."

Smiling back at Orihime's heartfelt confession, Ichigo took his hands from hers and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly. "Thanks, Orihime. I love you too."

Slowly he leaned in until their lips met. The kiss was soft yet sweeter than candy. All the rage and exhaustion Ichigo had felt over the past few hours melted away as he and Orihime shared their first kiss.

The kiss ended and the two smiled at each other. "Orihime, can you stay with me for just a little longer? We might not get a chance to be alone very often anymore."

"I'd love to."

Ichigo sat back against the wall. Orihime lay right beside him with her head on his shoulder. The two hugged while enjoying each other's company, falling asleep together in each other's arms.

Meanwhile, outside watching the couple were several of Ichigo's future brides. "Aww! They look so cute together. I should have brought a camera," said Rangiku with a smile.

"Yeah. We should leave those two alone for now. Like he said, he's probably not going to have much private time soon." Yoruichi stood up and turned to their third companion. "Anything on your mind, Halibel?"

The Queen of Hueco Mundo watched the romantic scene with a look akin to jealousy. "Nothing. It's just that I can see why he fought Grimmjow so hard back in Hueco Mundo." She turned to Yoruichi. "Why don't we arrange some dates with him so we can get some one-on-one with him before we all tie the knot."

Yoruichi gave her new friend a smile. "I think I like the sound of that..."

To be continued

Omake

A Wardrobe for Bambi

"No, no, no!" Bambietta shouted, tossing the pieces of clothing offered to her by Kisuke and Tessai away. The Sternritter wore a robe around her after throwing her away her tattered Sternritter uniform. "None of your clothes suit me at all!" Now that she was alive, she needed new clothes to wear but refused all clothes offered to her. She still wasn't on speaking terms with her Quincy friends who'd left for the night.

"Well, you need to wear something, Miss Basterbine. All of the clothing shops are closed and it's getting late."

"Good grief," Kisuke rolled his eyes as Bambietta tossed another shirt at her head. "And I thought it was impossible to pick out something for Jinta..."

The door opened and Riruka walked in with a chest of clothes. "Here. If it'll get you to stop making such a racket, here are some old clothes you can wear until you can go shopping."

"Please, what fashion sense can a girl like-Ooooh!" Bambietta's eyes lit up when she pulled out a dress covered in hearts. "I think I like this!"

"Huh, guess those two have more in common than we thought," Kisuke noted as the two girls discussed more cute outfits for her to wear...

END