AN: I sincerely hope you guys get this. I posted something a few days ago, and it acted super weird. It's making me wonder if that issue at the end and the beginning of the month is happening with this site again. So, it might be a while before you guys see this one. Like, until I post another chapter later this month, kind of later. But, keep in mind you can always read more of this fic today; all you have to do is head over to my Tumblr or Facebook page for the info/link and links to my other fics not posted on this site yet.
Tomorrow is the first day of Smutember, and I have a piece ready to go for the occasion. I really hope this works so you guys can read both when I post them! It'll be in my Hump Day collection, so keep a lookout there if you want to read it. I also posted a tease on my Tumblr; it's called "About Last Night," and it's all fluffy with a nice twist at the end.
September marks the year anniversary of my other site (again, the link is on Facebook and Tumblr), so I'll be posting all month long on there with Kiss List requests, and Smutember themed one-shots, and ficlets. Please come and check it out! I'm shooting to post every day with something and have twenty-two stories planned and started for the month! I won't be posting every day to here or AO3, but I will get them up here eventually. Check out my social media, so you don't miss it!
Chapter Six
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be."
― Shel Silverstein
Now in the middle of the group, Usagi would catch one of the other soldiers' smirk now and then. They were all silent since her 'insubordination', and not even the sights kept her mind occupied. Instead, she busied herself studying the ragtag group around her.
Each had a weapon or two. Mamoru and Toki were still at the front of the group, only speaking to confirm a direction or whisper about something. Their packs hid them from her, only able to see their arms, legs, and heads. Toki had changed a bit too since she last saw him years ago. The change wasn't as drastic as Mamoru's, but he had still lost his baby fat as she had.
Saori walked near the front just behind Mamoru. Her pack swung with weapons; an ax, a gun, and a few knives. Her brown hair hung down her back, a low ponytail the wind played with. Her friend wasn't much different, brown hair as well. But then again, blonde hair was dangerous. The other woman with them had a round and kind face, her soft green eyes looking her over from time to time with a small smile.
The rest were men, all varying in size and age. The outspoken one looked to be the same age as Mamoru, maybe a little older. His blonde hair spiked on top of his head, the short strands standing straight up. And he had tattoos all over his arms, bare even in the cold winter air. Someone was clearly a badass.
Then there was the redhead, the one who questioned the path over an hour ago. A brunette who smoked like a chimney, somehow having found not only a cigarette but quite a few, lighting one up soon after he finished the one before it.
She only got a few glances at the two men at her back, one with silver hair and the other with salt and pepper. Meaning the two at the back could very well be the elders on this journey. Two others walked on either side, large guns in their hands as they took on the edges of their path: one blonde, one brunette, both young.
They all wore torn and frayed clothing from age and lack of care; the colors faded but looking comfortable. Usagi was the only one in a thick coat, the others in thick sweaters or layers of thin jackets. The value of the coat handed to her days ago came to the realization.
Another hour and the metal jungle began to fade, dead grass and barren trees replacing it. They got far out of the city, the occasional house leaning heavily on its foundation popping up out of the endless broken road. Powerlines followed them, silent as they lacked any power in them to make them hum.
Life spurred around them, the grass green and the trees lush: surviving the attacks so far from human life. A few birds chirped, and soon she found the group dropping their things and settling in for the night.
Everyone split up, leaving her to stand idly watching. A fire was built, making her worry about the smoke, but no one else seemed to care. Then, a few moments later, a couple returned with fresh kills, some birds and small animals. Following the gathering, Usagi sat her pack down and joined those by the fire, watching as they cooked and talked. No sight of Mamoru or Toki and Saori had left out with the others to hunt, yet to return. The rest now circled the fire, eyes glancing at her in silence until one of them finally broke.
"Alright… Usagi, was it? What dirt do you have on Chiba-san?"
Confused, she looked over at the tattooed blonde man. "Excuse me?"
"Yeah, you have to have something over him! I have never seen that guy get flustered over anything." The redhead was grinning ear to ear at her.
She shook her head at all of them; their eyes and ears were waiting for her answer. "Even if I did have something on him, why would I tell you? I don't even know your names?"
The tattooed man started, going around the circle. "Tark and this is Matsoui." The redhead gave her a small wave. Tark continued to introduce everyone to her. The friend of Saori's was called Utena, and the kinder-looking woman was Kathy. The older men were Yega, silver hair, and salt and pepper were Kensu. He gestured to the woods for Saori and one of the blonde boys named Turner. The young brunette across from her gave her a small wave and barking out, "Itsua", to her right, the smoker sent a puff of it her way when he said, "Fred".
"Hello… I'm Usagi but, I guess you all knew that already." They chuckled, save for Utena and Yega. "And I don't have anything on Mamoru; we are just ancient friends."
"Yeah, well, the only people Mamoru jumps for like that are the Tsukinos and Motoki. Most of the time, he is calm, collected, and bossy."
Itsua folded his arms over his chest as he spoke, looking at the others who agreed silently with him. "You all seem to have no trouble following him, though."
"Of course, we don't!" Utena barked at Usagi. "Every one of us here and back at the stronghold owes Chiba-san their lives!"
"I figured, what with him being the doctor there and all."
"It's more than that Usagi.. much more."
Tark and the others got somber at his words, each of them thinking of just how vital Mamoru was to them (she was sure). Then, Matsoui perked up, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention.
"This isn't about Chiba; it's about Usagi! Come on now, spill before Chiba-san gets back!"
A weight fell next to her. Toki was now on the ground sitting with Usagi wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "SEE! She even has Motoki wrapped around her finger. Come on, Futahara, who is this girl?"
All eyes were on the two of them; Toki bristled from it. "Your orders were clear. Need to know, and if you weren't comfortable with that, then you shouldn't have come."
She was sure she had never heard Toki be so stern with a person before. But Tark didn't so much as blink. "Ah, so she is part of the mission then?"
Toki paled, anger growing on his face, and she stopped him when he opened his mouth, another feat that had the group jostling. "It's okay, Toki; they have the right to know." Even with his warning glare, she turned to Tark, talking to all of them. "I need to get to Kyoto to see Ami Mizuno."
A few of them dropped their jaws, Itsua the only one maintaining the ability to speak. "You know Mercury? Personally?"
"That is enough!"
They all turned, so fast and hard you could hear their heads moving. Mamoru glared down at all of them. All but Tark and Matsoui cringed. "Oh, come on now, Chiba-san, we are just getting to know the girl!"
Mamoru's glare focused on the two of them, but Matsoui continued. "We're going to be together for quite a while."
His eyes were still on the two of them. Mamoru came to Usagi's side, pulling her to her feet without speaking to Usagi or Toki, who remained. "There is friendly, and there is prying, Matsoui. I expected more out of all of you."
Dragging her away, Usagi watched them, guiltily looking at the ground and each other. Toki grinned, proud to be proven right.
Far out of hearing distance, Mamoru swung her around to face him. "Don't tell them anything."
She held up her hands to him. "I wasn't! But how am I supposed to know what I can and can't say when no one tells me!"
He sighed, relenting. Mamoru's hand went to the bridge of his nose and squeezed. It reminded Usagi of the many times before when they had a… conversation. "Just… don't tell them anything about… you."
"Mamoru, how am I supposed to do that? These people are risking their lives for me, and I can't even talk to them?!"
He squeezed harder, not looking at her at all. "Just don't tell them anything about who you know and what you can do. Or why we are going to any of these places, those who stick with us."
"Don't you think they will figure it out eventually?"
Finally, he released his face, looking down at her. "By then, it won't matter. And they will have a choice on going that far."
"Mamoru… are you ever going to tell me…."
She grew silent, not sure how to ask the question she needed the answer to. There were so many things she still didn't know about Mamoru and what he knew about her. Did he know she was Sailor Moon? He had to; Mamoru had cared for her for a year. Not once had he questioned her need for this mission.
"You know who I am, don't you?" His eyes never leaving hers, Mamoru nodded. "But… how much of who I am do you know?"
Did he know she was the Moon Princess? Did anyone? And did it matter because no one knew anything about the Moon Princess when she went to sleep? Usagi's worth was unknown to even herself. Besides being the rightful owner of the Silver Crystal, a mythical and powerful item she still did not possess, she knew nothing of her former life.
Usagi took her eyes from Mamoru's and back to the group sitting several feet away when he remained silent. "Then you know it is my job to protect them, not the other way around."
"By keeping them in the dark, I am doing both." She returned her attention to Mamoru; the stoic look on his face was telling. "They have nothing to tell if they get captured, and none of them can turn against us."
"Turn against us? Would they do that? I thought… you trusted them?"
He shook his head at her, "The only people I trust are you, your family, and Motoki."
"And the Senshi." He was silent, and she glared back at him. "Why wouldn't you trust them?!"
His hands were on her, holding her still so she couldn't leave with his next words. "Because they weren't there for you, Usagi! Where were they that night, huh? The night you practically died?!"
Partially in shock, she could barely whisper to him. "Luna… couldn't get through to them on the communicator."
"Oh, come on, Usagi. They didn't answer the call!"
She stared at him, unblinking for several moments while her brain wrapped around his words. Mamoru was expecting a fight, that much was clear, but Usagi didn't have one for him. "Even if that's true… they are not to blame."
"What?!"
"I wasn't dependable, and I'm sure they wanted to toughen me up. No way they knew what I was walking into. They did it for my own good."
He dropped her, stepping back. "Trust them all you want, Usagi, but I refuse to give them mine."
There was nothing but venom in his voice, his hatred for the Senshi clear as day. But why was still a mystery? Level-headed Rei was just like Mamoru in many ways and gentle Ami, well she had even helped Mamoru with the water supply. Hadn't all the Senshi helped them? Even the ones she had yet to meet? So what if they had left her hanging five years ago? They didn't do it out of malice or sabotage.
Clearing the small distance between them, Usagi took one of Mamoru's hands in hers, feeling both its size compared to hers and the calluses on his palm, and looked him square in the face. "Forgive them, Mamoru. Whatever they did to you, it isn't worth your pain. I trust them, and I trust you. And I am more than sure they have suffered long enough for their mistakes."
His hand gripped hers in return, pulling her closer to him. "And me? Have I suffered long enough for my mistakes?"
Confused, she still didn't break the hold they had on one another. "Of course, you have."
"You don't even know what I have done, Usa."
"It doesn't matter."
His free hand came up to cup her cheek, his thumb stroking her skin. "Ever the forgiving soul. But I'm afraid that no amount of suffering will atone for my sins."
Her heart pounded painfully in her chest, and tears threatened to fall. A combination of Mamoru's lips being dangerously close to hers and the agony of him in any pain. "That's not true."
Forehead against hers, they both closed their eyes in response, resting against one another. Usagi leaned heavily into every place he touched her, a sheltered breath coming out of Mamoru before he whispered painfully to Usagi.
"...Usako…"
One hand released him, grabbing onto his shirt tightly, hoping to stop him. But it did nothing; Mamoru pulled away from her, releasing all his hold to walk away.
oOo
She spent the night watching those on guard, talking them up, and helping them stay awake. Saori and Utena ignored her on their turns; Matsoui told jokes while Tark made jokes out of him. Turner and Kensu murmured with one another, and Toki told her stories of the time she had missed while Yega listened in silence. When sleeping, they laid around the fire, keeping warm.
Glancing over occasionally, she watched the light dance on Mamoru's sleeping face, going from peaceful to pained and back again several times throughout the night. No one slept well, all of them on a trigger. But, this far from the city, Usagi wondered if there was any real need to worry. She hadn't felt, seen, or heard a Youma the entire trip.
"Are you not going to sleep?"
Usagi turned back to him; Toki's eyes were glazed over with fatigue and concern. "Not sleepy."
He huffed. "Fine, you wake up Mamoru then; it's his turn."
Toki left, collapsing to his bedroll and falling asleep quickly. Yega followed soon after, knocking Fred awake: still not saying a word and leaving her to bend down over the man who now tossed and turned slightly in his sleep.
Even though he seemed to be deep in sleep, Usagi grabbing Mamoru's shoulder caused him to spring up, knocking her off her toes. "Usa…" He was already pulling her up, getting her to her knees next to him. "You didn't sleep? Again?" She didn't answer; he already knew the truth. Unzipping his bedroll slightly, Mamoru pulled her to him, forcing her inside it. When Usagi tried to protest, he silenced her with a finger on her lips. "Stay here and rest!"
Pulling himself the rest of the way free, he stalked off. She laid down, watching him until he disappeared in the dark. Dawn was only a few more hours away, so she spent the remainder of the night watching the fire flicker till death and smelling Mamoru.
Everyone rose before the sun, someone pulling out bread rations to share. Toki offered his to Usagi to share, but she turned him down. She wanted to make sure everyone had some before she dared to take part, especially Mamoru. Her body didn't seem to need nearly as much as it used to, sleep or food-wise.
They were all packed up when Mamoru returned, taking a few minutes to pack up the rest of his things (Usagi packed up his bedroll for him when she got up). Now outside of Tokyo, they had ten miles to walk till they made it to the train. It would take them all day, leaving them little time to waste.
Houses became more scarce, long fields stretching out around them. Mountains set off in the distance, telling her which way Kyoto was from there. Keeping Usagi's eyes on the hills, she watched as they grew in size but not seeming any closer than when they started.
"Hey, Usagi." Young Itsua put a hand on her shoulder, Turner on the other side of her taking an interest in her as well. "Do you know what to do if we come across a Youma?"
Tark and Matsoui took their places today, sweeping along the road's outer edges along the edge of the forest. So now they walked by her side with Usagi in the middle.
Her head bounced between the two of them, both of them eager to learn. "Do you mean to hide?"
Turner chuckled. "Yeah, you could do that, I guess."
Itsua took her hand, placing a small but thick knife in her hand. "Here. If attacked and you can't hide, or they find you, ram this wherever you can. The heart or the head is best, though."
Usagi blanched, not for fear for herself, but them. The thought of them getting close enough to put a knife as small as the one in her hands into the head or heart of a Youma made her sick with worry. But Turner misunderstood her fear.
"Don't worry, Usagi; we won't let them get that close to you."
"Yeah, we may not look like much, but we have killed plenty of Youmas."
Usagi shook her head. "Neither of you should be getting that close to a Youma, especially to protect me."
Turner grinned. "Anyone that makes Chiba-san 'run for it' is worth it in my book."
"Would you guys shut up?!"
Saori's glare met them before she turned back around to the front, but not before Mamoru turned and glared at Saori. Saori flinched but then shrugged it off. The two of them remained silent even with their anger at one another clear.
It looks like Usagi was right; Mamoru was not the type to be alone after all.
The sun had set a few hours ago; everyone was fine with walking in the dark until they arrived at the trains. Leaving her with Kathy, Kensu, Turner, and Itsua, Mamoru and Toki left with the others, looking over the trains, flashlights in hand.
No one spoke, the tension high among them all as the dark and the many structures around them made a sneak attack far too easy. Usagi wasn't sure what would happen if they couldn't get a train to work, probably forced to walk the whole way.
Usagi watched as Saori and Mamoru split off together into the dark. Was Saori why Mamoru seemed so guilty at times, getting closer to Usagi than he should? And why he seemed to hold himself back around her? Yesterday, Usagi was sure Mamoru was going to kiss her. But he didn't; due to his ties to Saori? Usagi should have asked outright the other day if he was seeing someone. That way, she wouldn't feel so confused and betrayed right now.
Not that Mamoru had made any promises to her except for her life. Every moment played over in her head; every word, look, and touch, from before she fell asleep to after, only caused her to get more confused. Even though Shingo had told her that Mamoru had never given up hope she would return, he didn't seem to believe it, after all, moving on only to regret it when she did come back. Usagi supposed that was even what Shingo meant at all. But Mamoru was taken; he was with Saori, and so she had to let him go.
Not that she ever had any claim on him in the first place, regardless of how broken her heart felt at the moment.
None of this mattered; there were far more critical things to worry about, even if Usagi's heart and mind wanted to focus on nothing else. She could make out the movements of the others from their flashlights as they moved around. Finally, they all stopped and then danced around like crazy until they met up in the same spot. A few split off after that, coming towards them, Utena and Matsoui slowly coming into view.
"Come on, this way."
They all followed the duo without hesitation, coming up to a large sleeper train. It wasn't an express train, but it was still electric.
"How are we supposed to power this thing?" Usagi asked in general.
Utena opened her mouth, but Mamoru beat her to it. "We've got it handled. Just get on."
Just as Usagi stepped up on the stairs leading to the first sleeper car, Toki popped up from around the front of the engine. "Alright, Mamoru, I think I have it all set. It should be able to handle the shock. The engine's converter is a bit old, but I think it will make it to Kyoto. Or at least, close."
"Good, let's go."
Mamoru and Toki jumped up to the conductor's seat, the others passing by her and onto the train. None of them were curious or questioning like Usagi.
She didn't hear or see anything; this time, she felt it, turning to the back of the train shrouded in darkness. "Mamoru…"
She didn't look to see if she had his attention. Instead, she kept her eyes to the darkness, searching. The others leaned out of the windows, looking with her but seeing nothing. Everything was still and quiet, but the feeling only grew more significant, it getting closer. And there were a lot of them.
"Everyone, get ready, now!"
Mamoru was yelling, standing next to Usagi on the ground and now harshly pushing her back into the train. She dared to look away from the dark, catching him race back to the front and hopping up next to Toki. A roar turned Usagi's attention back to the darkness, the first of them breaking into the dim light. A few of them climbed onto a connected sleeper; Tark and Matsoui ran to the back. The pop of a few guns was heard, Saori and Kathy leaning out a window and taking out a few others still on the ground. But there were still too many left. It was a horde of angry and ugly Youmas.
Her heart raced with the desire to fight. But not knowing how had the urge threatened to boil over. The train was pulling away; now, the single-car was still at risk of being taken over by the large group of remaining monsters. The few that climbed on the sleeper (left behind having been de-coupled) jumped from the still car onto theirs. Racing towards the front, she knew they were after Toki and Mamoru.
Gunshots continued to pop, a few others joining in taking out the remaining mob as much as possible. Usagi headed for the front, flinging open the doors that separated the car from the cockpit with a bit of struggle. Toki was at the 'wheel' while Mamoru hunched over next to him, his hands pressed to the dash. She could feel something coming from Mamoru as he pumped it into the engine where he stood.
With three Youmas above, Usagi didn't have time for that. She ran to the open door and grabbing onto the handles next to the door. Lifting herself, Usagi had her feet before her just as the first Youma tried to swing in. It met Usagi's feet, and she pushed with all the strength in her thighs. Gravity and momentum on her side; the creature flew out across the train yard, a sick crunch as its body hit a passing pole.
"Usagi, get back!"
Mamoru distracted her, the other two Youmas swinging into the car; the first connected its feet with her ribs and pushed her back a few steps.
The second one grabbed her, pulling her in close and sneering in her face. Slobber dripped from its mouth as it spoke. "Oooo… pretty."
The Youma ripped her scarf off her head and gasped at the long golden strands underneath. The first one yelled at its partner. "Take her, and let's go!"
Yanking herself back, Usagi let her fist fly into the face of the monster that held her. It stumbled back, dropping her as it howled over a broken nose. As the other one reached for Usagi, the hum of the train slipped away as the power drained from it. The energy that pulsed through it disappeared, and Mamoru ripped her backward before the Youma wrapped its fingers around her arm. Mamoru thrusted his hand into the Youma's grasp, threading his fingers with it. As soon as the creature touched Mamoru's skin, it twisted in pain, screeching and trying to pull free.
Toki grabbed Usagi and pulled her back the rest of the way, the two of them watching on in silence as the Youma Mamoru held onto burned up from the inside out. The remaining creature also watched in shocked horror, then in fear. It tried to run, getting to the door before Mamoru grabbed it by the back of the neck and flung it back.
Twisting on the ground, still in pain from Mamoru's touch, it managed to get its hands up in defense to beg. "Please… I'll go. I won't come back."
Mamoru pulled a knife similar to the one given to her earlier that day, the blade standing out even in the dark. "If you wanted to live, then you shouldn't have touched her."
It pleaded again, its cries dying in its throat as Mamoru swiftly stuck the metal into its heart, gurgling its last words. Toki pushed her aside without a word, helping Mamoru toss the bodies off the train (still slowly moving along) before they turned to dust. The train moved from sheer kinetic energy now, the slight push it had gotten moments ago, fueling it a little way down the track.
Once gone, Toki and Mamoru returned to the controls, the lights flickering on with Mamoru's touch and the engine roaring with life. "Usagi, turn off the light, please." He was eerily calm, and Usagi moved without a sound to do as he asked. Taking one hand off, Mamoru swiveled to look at her, checking her over. "Are you okay?" She was too busy trying to understand the energy that was coming from him. "Usa, come here."
Her eyes went from Mamoru's hand and the dashboard to his face. His free hand was hanging in the air towards Usagi as a gesture. He didn't take his hand from the train as he was its energy source now. She didn't know how, but it was clear. He had also used that energy to take out the Youma that touched her. A painful death she wouldn't want for her worst enemy. But she had no fear of his touch, not like that anyway.
Standing before him, his free hand gently touched her ribs, pressing a little hard and making her wince. She quickly pushed his hand away. "I'm fine."
"Let me see, Usagi." Slowly, Usagi lifted her arms up and out of his way, turning her head away in hopes of hiding her blush as he pulled up her shirt. "Hold this."
Usagi took the hem of her shirt from him, still refusing to make eye contact as his fingers probed her skin around her ribs, just below her breasts….
Even Toki was looking elsewhere and distancing himself from the two of them during her 'exam'. However, when Mamoru released the breath he had been holding (his burning hot breath telling her exactly where his attention had been), Usagi still refused to look anywhere but the ceiling. "You're already healing."
The amount of relief in Mamoru's voice had her heart racing, and as soon as his fingers left her skin, Usagi dropped her shirt, pushing it rapidly back in place. "Yeah, that's how I work."
"Not five years ago, and there is no telling how long that poison lasts. Not with the tests we were able to run. Guess you slept until it was completely out of your system."
She stared at Mamoru's feet, nodding. "Guess so…"
Now Mamoru's hand went to Usagi's hair, brushing back strands that fell in her face. "Usa, your hair."
Her hands flew to her head, even though she knew it was long gone. "My scarf! That Youma took it."
"We are going to have to find something to cover it."
Tentatively, she pulled out the pen Luna handed her before she left. "Is that what I think it is?!"
Toki was staring at her hands, her Luna pen clasped in them. "You know what this is?"
He coughed, trying to look disinterested. "Oh uh, yeah, of course. Everyone knows what that is."
She giggled. "Oh, Toki. I didn't know you were a fan! That's so cute." Motoki blushed, facing the consol again and growing silent while she laughed at him some more. Quickly, she gave him a hug and a kiss on the back of the head. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me."
"And yours is safe with me."
Motoki glanced back at her, his blush dropping and his face serious. "I know, Toki. I know."
She took her attention back to her pen. It would be the first time she used her energy since she woke, and part of her was scared it wouldn't work. That her powers left when she 'died'.
"Here goes nothing." Mamoru offered her a small smile, hoping to reassure her. "Luna pen, disguise me." Her energy surged, feeling the Luna pen washing over her and changing her hair and face. It took only a few seconds, and she stood back, letting the boys check out her work. "Well?"
Toki looked at her wide-eyed. "Wow. That's cool."
Mamoru reached over, fingering her now shoulder-length, brown hair. Then touched her cheek. "Usa, your face. Change it back."
His eyes were sad and confused Usagi, but it soon clicked. "Oh yeah, you're right. Can't walk back to the others with a stranger's face." Usagi stepped back from his touch, letting the glamour fall from her face, and his eyes brightened.
"That's better."
"The hair will still take a while to get used to, though!"
Toki chuckled, turning and standing to ruffle her locks, brown hair flailing before her eyes. She ducked, gaining her freedom but almost crashing into Mamoru in the process. Then, grabbing a few waves to hold in front of her eyes, she tried to get used to the color that was now her hair.
"Yeah, it will." Mamoru looked at her hair, forcing a smile, and she shrugged. "At least you two are the only ones who will think it's weird."
He gently tugged the strands from her fingers, brushing it back with his free hand. "It doesn't look weird. And it's just until we can get you something else to cover your hair with."
His hand continued to run through Usagi's hair, feeling weird when it slipped so quickly from his fingers from its length. However, the rest of the action didn't. Mamoru's hand in her hair was both comforting and thrilling. She was getting wrapped up in him again, and it had to stop.
Grabbing his hand, she pulled it from her, dropping it back to his side. "I should go… make sure everyone is okay."
She didn't try to hide the sadness in her voice, and Mamoru didn't hide his on his face. Practically stumbling away, she forced her heart to behave, finding the others silent but awake. The train was speeding down the track now, powered by Mamoru's strange power. It rocked gently, a few of the guys turning to Usagi and standing at the sight of her.
"Is everyone alright?"
"We're fine." Saori's voice held spite, her glance leaving her as soon as Usagi found it.
The car jerked, Turner coming to her aid before she hit the floor. "Don't worry about Saori. She's just jealous."
"Jealous?"
"Shut up, Turner!"
Usagi was sure Utena was going to kill Turner with the draggers her eyes sent his way. But he just chuckled, going back to his seat and laying out across it.
The door behind her slid open, Toki coming up behind her and grabbing hold of her shoulders. "Everyone should get some rest. Prepare yourselves for Kyoto."
Motoki pushed her towards the back where the free seats laid. As they passed, Saori jumped up and went to the cockpit, taking Toki's place. Saori was the one that would be keeping Mamoru company all night, and Usagi swallowed the sob that threatened at the thought.
With a gentle push, Toki put her in a seat. Then, he flopped down across from her, so the two of them were looking at one another. "Looks like I'm playing babysitter tonight."
"What does that mean?"
Toki shrugged, looking out of the dark window. "Mamoru being overprotective as always."
"Toki, can you stop being cryptic for once?!"
She giggled at Motoki as she spoke; he got flustered at himself and her for not being understood. "Don't tell me you never noticed?"
"Umm… noticed what?"
"Nothing. Never mind. Get some sleep, Usa."
They fell into silence, a hush washing over the entire car as everyone drifted off. This would be one of the few times they could all let their guard down at once.
Time passed, and Toki fell asleep (giving up on her) while Usagi tried to make out shapes in her window; the world was too dark and fast to make out much of anything.
"Oh…. you're still awake." Jumping at the voice, she turned to Saori, her tired face still managing to look annoyed. "Chiba-san needs you in the cockpit."
Usagi's eyebrows furrowed in her confusion, but Saori didn't say anything more, returning her spot she abandoned a while ago and flopping down to it. Careful not to make noise, Usagi rose and made her way to the front.
Mamoru sat in the captain's chair; both palms pressed into the controls; them lighting up as a result. It was the only light in the space, red and green flickering against his face.
The train jerked, causing both of them to struggle to maintain balance; Mamoru nearly fell out of his chair. His eyes found her, a smirk growing as she fought to stand again. "Hi."
Her eyes searched his face, assessing him and his mood. It seemed upbeat even though he looked tired. "Hi."
Their voices were both meek, suddenly unsure how to speak to one another, especially in private. "Motoki fell asleep, didn't he?" She nodded, and he chuckled. "I knew he would be worthless."
"Why did he even need to watch me? You seriously keep forgetting I'm not some fourteen-year-old in need of babysitting anymore."
Usagi used her agitation to keep from feeling anything else, even when he grinned up at her like a schoolboy. "Sorry, but you need to be watched even more now than you did then."
She turned, sitting against the console next to him but keeping her eyes to the window in the door. Watching the sleeping forms just on the other side as they rocked did nothing to settle her nerves as she hoped. "Why? Figure I'm even more of a clutz now? Or that I'm less responsible?"
"No. I just have a better understanding of what you are worth now." He gained her attention, his words shocking her and causing her to forget she shouldn't look at him. "Sorry, it took losing you for five years for me to realize it."
His gaze burned her, and yet she struggled to pull away, barely managing to do so. "You shouldn't say things like that."
"Why?"
She could have said it, told him she knew of his relationship. But she just couldn't, knowing that saying it aloud would make it all the more real. And it would break her.
"Saori said you needed me?"
That was all she could muster, saying Saori's name in front of him. She expected it to snap him out of it and stop saying things like that. "I knew Toki fell asleep, and I didn't want you back there by yourself for the next couple of hours. Especially since you refuse to sleep."
He glared at her for a second, but it washed away to concern, and she did her best not to let it twist the knots in her belly. "You're one to talk. Shouldn't you take a break from…. what are you doing anyway?"
Shrugging, he looked back at his hands like it was nothing. "I'm just giving the train some juice."
"Some.. juice?"
"I can… do things. Like you can."
He looked at her, watching for her reaction. "If it's like mine…. then you will get tired."
"I'm fine."
Her hand was on his forehead before she could think it through, feeling the warmth it had from his continued exertion. "No, you're not."
"Well, I can't exactly stop, can I?"
"So we make it to Kyoto a little later than planned. Take a break, Mamoru."
Ignoring her wishes, he shook his head. "No can do. You saw what happened when we stopped. That many Youmas happened to show up where we happened to be? That can't be a coincidence. They were tipped off somehow. At least, given their reaction to you, they still don't know the full story. We stop again; it could be worse."
She had yet to remove her hand; it was as though she could feel his power pulsing within him through her palm. The longer she held it there, the stronger it became, almost becoming a color in her mind. Hers had a color too (pink) she had discovered years ago when Rei taught her how to channel her powers outside her transformation. When Usagi went to sleep, she was still learning about herself and her abilities. What she could do or not do was a mystery to her to this day. So she would never know unless she tried.
Sliding closer, she dropped her hand to his shoulder and closed her eyes in both concentration and to steady her nerves.
"What are you doing?" Mamoru's voice was raised in curiosity.
"Shh. Let me try this."
No way Usagi could make the train move like Mamoru did; nothing about her powers would even suggest such a possibility. But helping others was her calling. So she would help Mamoru.
"Usa…"
Mamoru's voice caught in his throat as he felt it, Usagi's pink cords flowing into him through her touch. Now connected, she could see just how depleted he was. If Usagi hadn't helped him, Mamoru would have passed out before they reached Kyoto.
She kept her eyes closed, afraid to open them at this point, not knowing what face Mamoru was making at the moment and how her heart would react to it. "Usagi… you shouldn't be using your energy. You need to save it."
"I have plenty."
"Yes, I can see that." Even though she could hear the smile on Mamoru's voice, Usagi didn't dare open her eyes to see it.
The train jumped again, causing Usagi to fall away and drop her hold on him. Quickly, she scrambled to get back up and touch him again. Maintaining her balance was harder with her eyes closed, the train zigging again. This time Mamoru wrapped an arm around Usagi, pulling her until she fell in his lap, surrounded by his arms on the console.
She squeezed her eyes tight even when Mamoru started to chuckle at her. Pushing, she funneled energy into him from every place that touched him. Usagi's hands were on Mamoru's chest, her legs, and butt against his thighs, her forearms on his stomach: even his biceps that touched her back and arm.
His mouth was at her ear; no place else to put it, given their current position. "Usa, is that your heart?" It was pounding, yes. Did Mamoru feel it against his arm through Usagi's back? It wouldn't surprise her. Giving Mamoru a nod, he chuckled again. "Calm down, Usagi. I am just holding you steady. Since you insist on… helping."
She remained still and silent, unchanging. Moments passed; Usagi refilled Mamoru's energy dregs and slowed her flow into him till it stopped. But then she couldn't move, stuck in his lap, and she waited for him to tell her to get up.
"Why won't you open your eyes?"
One eye at a time, Usagi loosened her lids and lifted them, even daring to lift her chin, which she regretted when Usagi was met with Mamoru's dark blue eyes on hers. Her heart was still pounding, but with her hands on his chest, she noticed Mamoru's was too. Their breath mingled together (some of Mamoru's making it to Usagi's face as hers did his). She no longer knew what to do. Usagi's brain screamed at her that he had a girlfriend, a someone. Yet, at the same time, Usagi's heart begged her to close the distance, to do her damnedest to make him hers.
She hesitated, long enough for Mamoru to gain his wits, and she saw the guilt on his face. Shame for how he was acting around her. It woke her up, ducking her head down. Mamoru bumped a knee and caused her to fall further into him.
Usagi's head on his shoulder, she was frozen, Mamoru's voice buzzing in his chest as he spoke. "Stay here with me… so I know you're safe." She didn't move (not that she could), staying put. "Are you really not sleepy… or are you afraid to fall asleep?"
Usagi clenched Mamoru's shirt in her fist tight, unsure if she was ready to share this fear. "I don't… want to wake up and find… another five years is gone. Or more."
His head fell to hers, resting on the top of it. "Sleep, Usagi. I will wake you when we get to Kyoto."
It was just like before when he promised her he would make sure she returned to her family alive. He was so sure, so confident that he would keep his promise. It had Usagi trusting him completely, her eyes gliding closed. Mamoru's heart under her cheek, the gentle rocking of the train, and his warm breath on her hair were her lullaby. And Usagi knew, when she woke up, they would be in Kyoto.