AN: Thank you all for the love. I know it's been a while but I've been focused on originals, my other page and my subscribers, and I was sick. Still sick, but there's no rest for the weary!

Don't forget that more of this story is already up! So if you don't want to wait, head over to my Tumblr or Facebook page for the link!

Chapter Nine

"The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die."

― Juliette Lewis

The fog was thick, feeling as though she was suffocating on it as it blinded her completely this time.

"Why are you so determined to die?!"
He was angry, the man she knew but didn't. "I don't know what you are talking about?"

"And how the hell am I supposed to protect you when you keep going in half-assed all the time?"

She remained silent, unclear on what he was talking about, but clearly, he was ranting. He needed to vent for whatever reason.

"Time and time again, you willingly rush into danger, all to save some soul. Who, by the way, never deserves your pity or forgiveness. 'I forgive you, Jadeite'. What the hell Serenity?!"

The memory sparked in her mind, the last thing she said before coming here. "I regret nothing."

Arms wrapped around her from behind, coming so suddenly and silently, it caused her to jump. Usagi could feel the warmth from him like it was real. Her bare arms and the thin dress did not protect her at all from the chill of the space. His mouth was at her neck (his nose in her hair), breathing her in.

Every time Usagi woke, she was left with a tickle of knowing, knowing she had dreamed and it was important. Never did she remember the dream in its entirety. But she was confident, somehow, that he had never touched her in their dreams before now.

"I know you don't. You never do, even when you really should. But you are killing me, Usagi."

His lips tickled her as he spoke, and she did her best to contain her giggle, but it was hard. She felt him smile against her skin, knowing he was no longer mad at her. "And here I thought you wanted to stay as far away from me as possible."

He stiffened, and she felt it, his arms pulling a little tighter against her in response. "And I should be. But, no matter how hard I try, I struggle to stay away from you."

"Then why try? Why fight it?"

"I told you already; I don't deserve you."

His arms had hers pinned, her inability to touch him driving her mad. "Isn't that something for me to decide?"

His face in her neck, he shook his head, his nose brushing against her skin. "You can't be trusted. You never make the best decisions for yourself. I am another example of someone who doesn't deserve your forgiveness."

"Forgiveness for what?"

He pulled her in tighter still, holding her as if it would be the last time. "I have to go."

Usagi stumbled, getting released so quickly that she fell, and the fog surrounded her on the ground. Now she was alone, the world they met in growing colder in his absence. Yet, even alone, she could hear voices and other sounds of life.

Rising from the floor, she could see movement in the distance. Usagi slowly got to her feet. Even with her curiosity, something ate up her stomach. Telling her whatever it was, she didn't want to see.

Tentatively, she approached the scene, knowing it was playing for her and that the events she watched had occurred long ago. Somehow.

It was just like a ballet. Bodies moved gracefully all around, dancing with a partner until one of them fell. Then they switched, starting the dance again. Soon there were no dancers left.

Taking another step forward, she met glass, an invisible barrier keeping her from getting any closer. Pressing her hands against it, Usagi pushed, hoping to get through. But it held firm, keeping her on her side of the stage.

Another body entered the floor, searching and digging through the other dancers still on the ground. He was frantic. But then he relaxed. The foggy glass before Usagi hid any details or features of the players, save for the girl, she entered in a haze of white with gold streamers down her back. She watched as the golden dancer jumped on the remaining man, and even though all she could make out were blobs and shadows, Usagi knew she was the one in white, and he was the one she clung to. The man she always met here in her dreams.

They held onto one another tight, but it didn't last, a dark shadow falling over them and blocking them from Usagi's view. It faded, leaving the man on the ground with the other dancers, herself laying over him.

Dead. The players were all dead.

The fog smothered her, turning white and blinding her. Usagi blinked several times, her vision clearing slowly as the bed above her came into view, back in the bunk bed of the research facility.

She blinked a few more times, feeling tears run down her cheeks and into her ears. Usagi had no clue why she was crying.

"Good, you're awake."

Shifting quickly to the voice, Usagi found a full house. Ami, Rei, Makoto, Toki, and Mamoru squeezed into the tiny room. Ami sat next to her on the bed, checking her over. Mamoru leaned on the bedpost behind Ami, his eyes focused on the bluenette's work. Toki sat on the top bunk across from her, the one he slept on the night before.

At the sight of her open eyes, he jumped down. "I'll go get her something to eat."

Rei stood, arms crossed next to the door, ready to follow him out. "Rei, wait!"

Flashing Usagi a sad smile, Rei paused for only a second in her exit. "I'll be back in a bit. You need to rest some more."

Her gone, Makoto stood from her perch on Mamoru's bunk. "I'm going to go… do something. I need to move."

Ami checked Usagi's pulse and temperature. "I'm going to take a few samples of blood if that's okay, Usagi."

She cringed. "Needles?"

Ami chuckled. "Same old Usagi. Afraid of needles, thunder, and giving up." Ami shot her a look with her last words but rose from her bed without saying anything else. Mamoru straightened, and Ami touched his shoulder and spoke softly. "Go easy on her, okay?"

The click of the door as it closed behind Ami was deafening, and Mamoru did nothing to break the silence, slowly making his way to his bed to sit. She watched, Mamoru's eyes never leaving the floor as he placed his arms on his knees, wringing his hands before him in lost thought.

Seconds passed, and he said nothing nor looked at her. Dred was twisting in Usagi's heart and stomach. "What… what happened? To Jadeite?"

He shifted slightly at the name but kept his eyes to the floor. "We put him in a room and locked the door. We don't exactly have cells here."

"He's alive?!"

Usagi sat up a little too fast as the room spun for a second. "We couldn't exactly kill him, now that he is an unarmed man."

"Unarmed…. what does that mean?"

"It means you stripped him of his powers when you released him from Beryl's hold."

"I… did all that?"

He chuckled, but it was a laugh devoid of any happiness. "You don't even know what you did. Just making it up as you go along."

Mamoru's continued eye contact with the floor was eating Usagi up even more inside than his words, closing her eyes up to the scene before her in hopes of washing it all away. "I am just…. trying to make things right…."

"I know."

Finding the strength, Usagi opened her eyes, hoping things had changed. But they hadn't; Mamoru still wouldn't look at her. "Mamoru… are you mad at me?"

He sighed, a release of some kind of emotions Mamoru had pent up inside of him. "I don't know what I feel…. I thought I could handle this. Seeing you risk your life again and again. But… I don't know…. if I can go through this again…."

Although she didn't understand why this hurt Mamoru, she knew how to fix it. Sliding off her bed and crouching before him, Usagi took his hands in hers and found Mamoru's eyes, tears brimming in them. "Then...don't." His confusion was clear on his face as she watched it change. "You don't have to be here; I have the Senshi now. You can go back home to the stronghold. Take your friends with you and have a happy life."

His confusion quickly turned to anger as she spoke. "You want me to leave? Go back to that hole?! Without you?!"

He stood, pushing her back and pacing before her in what little space he had. "You are a civilian; you weren't supposed to deal with all of this."

"You and I both know that I am not just some civilian."

She got to her feet, watching Mamoru go back and forth. "This is not the life you deserve. You can go back, be a doctor like you always wanted, be with Saori…."

"What?" He stopped, staring at her with wide eyes.

"You can have a normal life; helping people and having a family…."

His laughter burst from him so hard; it nearly had her backing up to the wall. "Is that what you have been talking about all this time? Usagi, I am not, nor have I ever been in any kind of relationship with Saori."

She was pretty sure her stomach had flipped inside out. "But…. the way you act…."

"It's one-sided, Usa. I have never felt that way… about her." Usagi could no longer stand to look at him, silently wishing he would stare at the floor again instead of how he was now looking at her. "Is that what this is about? You feel guilty for keeping me away from some… life back at the stronghold?"

Shaking her head, Usagi watched the floor dance before her eyes. "No, I want you to go. I don't want you going any further on this… trip with me."

"Is that what you really want, Usa? Do you want me to go?"

Usagi didn't know what she wanted. She wanted Mamoru safe, far away from danger, and she was going to be barreling deeper into it. Every step they took was a step closer to Beryl and deeper into the nightmare that the world had fallen into while Usagi slept. Maybe it was selfish, wanting to protect Mamoru more than anyone else? But Usagi couldn't seem to make herself feel any other way.

She was aware of Mamoru coming closer, but she didn't know why until his fingers pressed under her chin and forced her to look up at him, holding her there. "I'm sorry if that is what you want because I can't give it to you. I'm here to protect you regardless of how you feel. Even when you make it more difficult to do so, it is my job, Usagi."

Usagi's heart squeezed painfully at Mamoru's words. "Your… job?"

His face twisted, pain glistening in Mamoru's eyes, and he opened his mouth again as the door did as well. "Usagi, I got you the best stuff they had. But don't get too excited; it's all still freeze-dried military rations."

Toki walked in, past them even as Mamoru released her reluctantly. She got as far away from Mamoru as possible, getting to the other side of the room where Toki set down her tray. It was only a few small inches, but it was better than being right next to Mamoru with his breath hitting her skin. Her skin burned from his touch, a lingering memory of him that she no longer wanted and willed it away, focusing solely on Toki even as Mamoru left the room.

oOo

There was a chill in her bones, one that Usagi couldn't seem to shake, the thick sweater she donned doing nothing. She had been left alone to rest, but that had been hours ago, and she was now restless.

Wrapping the blanket from her bed and the magic of her Luna Pen around her, Usagi wandered around the facility, passing familiar places and seeing a few familiar faces.

It was practically silent in the halls; she saw only people in lab coats and guards. Usagi remembered something Ami had said about how the people here were safe for her because they were more interested in advancing their science than anything else. Something Usagi found true as few spared her a single glance. She wondered if it would be different if she dropped her glamour, but something told her it wouldn't.

Turning a corner, she recognized the hall she had followed Ami down earlier that morning; the screen room was somewhere at the end of it. Even at the very end of the hall, she could hear the voices: yelling at and over one another.

The closer she got, the louder it got, but there was no understanding the noise or what was said. And when she turned into the room, everyone was so wrapped up in themselves, Usagi went unnoticed long enough to catch the gist of the argument.

Makoto and Rei were in a standoff with Saori (the woman not seeing that she was far outmatched). Toki was in a deep conversation with Mamoru; the two talked heatedly but not yelling like the others. Ami was trying to do something on the computer, Matsoui and Tark looming next to her, Ami having to smack their hands away from time to time. Utena and Kathy were arguing about something at the front of the room, but Usagi had no clue what they were about. Yega sat to the side, silent. Turner and Itsui kept throwing in interjections to Rei and Makoto's fight with Saori and Kensu just kept shaking his head. The ones she could make out all seemed to be about the same thing.

What to do next.

Some fought to continue the journey, others argued with Mamoru's plan/path, and some were just trying to get information from the Senshi on what was going on.

Standing at the door, Usagi watched in silence until Mamoru noticed her. Then, slowly, each group became silent as they caught on to her presence. "What's going on, guys?"

When everyone remained silent to her question, Rei looked around quickly and then back at Usagi. "We are just trying to make sure we take the best step next."

"The plan we have is solid, Rei."

Toki was using his warning voice, one she had only ever heard since waking from her long sleep. "Except, Usagi is exposed now. We don't know how many Youma escaped today and got back to report to Beryl."

"And just what are they going to report?"

Rei and Makoto glared at Turner; he was still digging at the worst time. Ami turned away from her screen, pushing Tark back again. "Some of us think we should head straight for Beryl and leave those unnecessary behind where it is safe."

"And some of us think she needs to have everyone, to have all the backup she can get." Hearing Mamoru's voice for the first time in hours was sobering; he glanced at Usagi only once as he spoke.

"And some of us want to stick with you guys until the end!"

Usagi had never heard Saori speak or act so selflessly. But then Saori glanced back at Mamoru, the woman's motivation evident instantly. "Why are you all hesitating now? Changing the plan?"

Her Senshi moved towards her, wanting to speak only with Usagi, but a few followed, threatening that they could go nowhere without them hearing. Rei sighed in agitation while Makoto rolled her eyes, glaring at those too close. Ami just ignored them all. "Usagi-chan, you released a mighty wave out, but it didn't kill past a twenty-foot radius, and there were thousands of Youma at that compound. Any of them could have survived and are making it back to Beryl now. If we wait, it may be too late. But, if we go now, we might still have the element of surprise."

Mamoru had made his way over, standing just behind Rei, who took notice but did nothing. Letting him stand near and listen in when no one else was allowed. "But… it would only be the four of us…."

"Five."

Mamoru interrupted, gaining a glare from her in response, but Usagi continued otherwise. "And there are others who could help us, right? Do you not trust them?"

They looked at one another, their eyes bouncing from one to the other. "Some, yes. But there are a few that are…. questionable."

"Questionable?"

Makoto didn't elaborate any further, answering her with a shrug. "There is no way to know for sure they will join us, Usagi-chan. They are…. difficult at best."

"So the main concern is what Beryl may or may not know?" They nodded one at a time. "Then why don't we go and find out what she knows?"

oOo

It was some kind of observation tank, a solid door that only opened with a code, a small table and chair, and a cot in the corner. A large window allowed them to look in at any time, and an intercom was next to it. Currently, Jadeite sat at the table, a thick book before him while he bent over it. Taking a peek, Usagi could see it was full of heavy theories and equations.

The five of them crowded around the window. Lucky for them, the rest of the group did not have enough courage to face Jadeite: the killer of Sailor Moon. Although, if they saw him now, they would most likely feel foolish.

Even before she stepped up to the glass, it was clear; Jadeite was now an ordinary man. His face buried in his palm, he turned another page within the five seconds they had been standing there. She took a glance back at Rei, her coming to stand beside Usagi right in front of the glass. Rei's face was a little pale, and she lacked emotion. Grabbing Rei's hand, Usagi gave it a squeeze, Rei glancing at Usagi and giving her a quick nod. They were ready.

Rei held down the intercom button, a loud beep coming from it and gaining his attention. He sprang up as if at attention; his chair fell backward to the floor, but he kept his eyes on all of them.

"Hello, Jadeite." Usagi tried to keep her voice even, not wanting to show any emotion like her counterparts and wanting to be just as stoic and strong.

"So… are you here to kill me now?"

Usagi slowly shook her head, stopping the confusion from forming on her face. "That depends on you."

He nodded, dropping his gaze to the floor. "I wouldn't hold it against you if you did. I deserve to die."

"That is for the public to decide at your trial."

Usagi didn't realize Mamoru was behind her or so close until he spoke, his words washing over her head and down her neck, causing her to shiver. But she shook her thoughts of him out. "We need information. And if you help us, we will help you."

This time, his eyes landed on Rei and didn't turn away again. "I will help you in any way that I can. Anything to atone for my deeds."

"Nothing will fix all that you have done." Rei spat bitterly.

She squeezed Rei's hand again, wanting to both silence and comfort her. Jadeite smiled sadly, lowering his head again as he nodded. "That's true."

"What does Beryl know of me and my return?"

His head popped back up, confusion all over his face. "Beryl doesn't know a thing. You were a surprise to me today. She'll probably kill me for failing."

"Your Youma are no doubt on their way to her now to tell her. Even the ones outside the facility have left off to tell her our secret."

He shook his head at Ami. "No, they didn't do anything but turn to dust. I lost my power, and since I am the one that created them, they are all gone."

"What?"

He smirked at Usagi. "You set me free, Serenity. And for that, I am eternally grateful. Believe me when I say that I wouldn't lie to you. Never again."

Usagi stepped back, and Rei released the intercom button. Glee spread through Usagi with the information. Beryl had no clue; Jadeite was free, and so were the people of Kyoto. At least from those whom Jadeite made. There was no real way of knowing who made which Youma when they all mixed as they did. But they had won! She had stopped the one that had nearly killed her years ago!

"So, what is the plan, Usagi?"

They were waiting, watching Usagi for her command. It was a little overwhelming, being the one they all turned to. But she pushed her fear back down, holding her chin high in her decision.

"We stick to the plan."

Mamoru smirked at Usagi in return. "Then it looks like we need a boat, Ami-san, and some serious winter wear."