AN: It's been a minute, so here's a nice long chapter for you! A few have expressed concern that this story will disappear. I want to assure you that I'm only deleting AUs, although some stories have already been deleted. Like, fully AU where the characters are either mundane or have powers in a different world completely. Since this story is still set in the SM universe (and even though it's AU), it won't be deleted. So have no fear! And even though I'm shutting down my other site as well, anything posted for free will remain. The only posts that will delete are ones that were subscriber exclusives. All the ones on there that I don't want to use later will be put on here and AO3 when I can get them up.

Chapter Twelve

"Hope can be a powerful force. Maybe there's no actual magic in it, but when you know what you hope for most and hold it like a light within you, you can make things happen, almost like magic."
― Laini Taylor, Daughter of Smoke & Bone

It was getting late, the darkness surrounding them filling the house. The two of them had been sitting in silence, and she refused to be the one to break it. Sure, it was childish, but that was just who she was, and that was never going to change. So Usagi would silent treatment Mamoru to the grave if she had to, but she would not start a conversation like everything was okay.

"We should go to bed. We need to be up before dawn and back on the road."

It was hard to make much out in the house at this point, but Usagi was sure Mamoru was standing, holding out a hand to her. "I can just sleep on the couch."

She could just make out his head as it went back and forth, telling her 'no'. "Not big enough."

"Excuse me?"

"We are going to have to sleep together…. in the same bed, so I can keep an eye on you. I need to sleep for tomorrow, and if you sleep in another bed or another room, I might not wake if someone tried to take you."

"Fine."

Usagi slapped her hand in his, and he pulled her hard, letting him lead them to whatever bed he wanted. The whole thing gave her deja vu for some reason; the dark setting, his hand on hers, her heart racing. Maybe she dreamed it once.

Although Usagi most likely imagined it, she could swear Mamoru's palm was sweating. He was holding tight to her even as he pulled them into a room, only released her when they found the bed. Mamoru pushed it hard and fast till it rested in a corner. It was a small queen from what she could tell, but it would also be the first real bed she would sleep on in a long time.

Mamoru was still working on his shoes when she leapt into the bed, diving under the thick covers and pulling them up to her neck. Flopping down on the edge, she pulled off her shoes, setting them down on the floor close by in case they had to run. Even though it was even colder in the house now that the sun had set, she removed her coat and hat, not expecting them to be very comfortable sleepwear.

"Maybe you should leave your coat and hat on.."

"Yeah, no way I'm sleeping in that."

"Then… maybe use the Luna pen…."

Usagi sighed ruefully, pulling her hair in and stuffing it into the hood of her sweatshirt before pulling it over her head. "Better?"

Not waiting for an answer, verbal or otherwise, she rolled over to face the wall. Usagi was pretty sure she heard Mamoru softly chuckle as he got under the covers, all while Usagi did everything she could to try and block him out. But Mamoru's smell, breath, and a small amount of his warmth made its way over to her anyway. Even after scooting a little closer to the wall, all Usagi managed to do was make herself colder. Now it was her shivering that kept her awake.

"Usagi… are you cold?"

"No... no, I'm fine!"

Usagi grounded her words out through her teeth, her chill making her jaw want to snap shut. "Funny, then who is shaking the entire bed with their shivering?"

"...the Boogeyman…"

Usagi squealed in protest when he grabbed her, pulling her by her hips to him. But it didn't stop him, Mamoru's arms wrapping around Usagi and holding her, so her back was against his chest. "Just relax. You will be warm in a moment."

Mamoru said it all so matter of factly, like they weren't spooning, alone, in the dark, in a bed together. If there were any attraction for Usagi in Mamoru, this would have been at least a little bit hard for him: like it was for her. But he had no trouble resting his face in the crook of her neck while one of his hands splayed across her stomach. She wondered if he could feel the butterflies inside it as they budded against her skin, trying to gain freedom.

Toasty warm after a few short minutes, she found it impossible to move away from him. Partly because she didn't want to and because he wouldn't let her, holding on to her tight even still. "I'm warm now, Mamoru. Thank you."

She tried again to pull away, gently prying his hand off her belly, but he pulled it back tight. "Just stay put. It will be easier for me to keep track of you."

Trying to relax (even though Mamoru pretty much just called their snuggling another part of his job), Usagi forced herself to breathe as he pulled her tight to him again. It was nice, being in Mamoru's arms again, the last time when they were on the train, and even then, he didn't hold her like this. Another confusing moment to add to her pile.

"Usagi…"

She waited, but he was waiting too, seeing if she was still awake. "Yes?"

"Do you think… do you think you could forget him?"

"Forget who?"

Mamoru shifted, his unease clear in his movements. "Nothing. Never mind. I'm sorry, I just… I'm not strong enough..."

Even nervous, Mamoru's voice was like honey, dripping over Usagi's exhausted nerves. The events of the day felt as if they were slamming into her, making him hard to follow. "Strong enough for what, Mamo?"

She was so tired; she let the little nickname she created for him in secret slip out of her mouth and struggled to care about it. "Rest, Usako."

oOo

The fog was light, but she knew better than to search him out: he was gone. Forever. She had broken his heart with her selfish mouth. Usagi hoped to get him to comfort her when she should have just let it go. Let Mamoru go.

She quickly found the screen, watching the scene (that was already in progress) play before her. Usagi watched as her foggy figure raced around, hiding behind anything she could; trees, rocks, stumps until she came to a clearing. The mystery man found her easily, running to her and lifting her off the ground. They spun together, so happy with one another's presence. He was cradling her to him, holding her tight, and Usagi wondered how her other self was even able to breathe.

"You shouldn't be here."

Jumping, Usagi spun away from the glass, the fog increasing tenfold while she had her attention elsewhere. "Why? Why shouldn't I be here? Isn't this place mine?"

"No, it is mine. This is my world, not yours."

He stood in the near distance, making it seem as if he was just a short jog from her. But in truth, he was a great distance, one that she could never cover no matter how hard she tried. "If it's yours, then why not block me out?"

"...I can't."

Crossing her arms over her chest, half in irritation, half in self-preservation, Usagi glared at the shadow. "Then why shouldn't I be here?!"

"Because… you love someone else."

"So what?! I love you too!"

Usagi could sense his unease, the room growing colder with her words. "It doesn't work that way, Serenity."

"Why not? I've been told I have a pretty big heart. One that is capable of anything."

He chuckled darkly at her. "Oh yeah? Can it share two beds? Can you fully love two men at once, Serenity? Cater to their… needs?"

A shiver ran through her at the thought, only thinking about sex a few times in her life before going to sleep. Only, now, she was old enough to have it. "How does that matter? You're not even real!"

The ground shook, and the shadow shifted, standing behind Usagi now, his mouth inches from her skin. "Oh, I assure you, Serenity, I am very real." His hand ran down her spine, something she did feel. "And my needs are as real as any man."

Usagi knew better than even trying and turning around, knowing that he would make everything disappear even if she tried. "So… it's all about sex then."

He laughed, the sound bouncing off invisible walls. "When you are talking about loving two men, then yes, yes it is."

His hand snaked around her waist, his mouth finding the bare skin of her shoulder. The things he was doing to Usagi with just his lips on her skin sent shivers throughout her body. "You and I would have sex here?"

Leaving her skin, he pulled away, and she knew he was looking down at her. "No."

"But… you said…."

"No! That's not… kami, Usagi, you are killing me right now."

She shrugged. "I know it's not fair, but I meant it when I said I loved you. It's not like I like it or even understand it, loving you as much as I love Mamoru. But I didn't have any control over it…."

"What did you say?"

"I said I didn't have any control."

"No, before that. The name of the guy you love."

Usagi looked down at the ground, feeling guilty for her selfishness again. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't talk about him here."

He pulled her so tight to him Usagi struggled to breathe. "Say his name again."

Usagi wasn't sure if it was him, the ground, or herself that was shaking, feeling like the entire world was quaking in anticipation. "Mamoru. Chiba, Mamoru. You're not going to go kill him in his sleep, are you?"

"No, I promise I won't do that." she was only half kidding, not knowing the extent of his powers. But he laughed again (a little more than was necessary), making her think it was more than the joke that had him laughing.

He kissed the base of her neck sloppily, leaving a hot, wet spot on her spine. "Good. He is helping me now with my mission. And once it's done, he can go and find the girl he loves. The one he lost."

"You really think he doesn't know where she is right at this very second?"

"If he did, wouldn't he be with her?"

His hair tickled her as he rested his head on her shoulder. "Mamoru nor I deserve you."

She could feel him slipping, the dream quickly coming to an end. "Will I see you again?"

"You can come here any time, Usako."

oOo

Usagi's hair had worked its way out of her hood and stretched out around the two of them, all while she was still in Mamoru's arms. She had turned in her sleep, now facing Mamoru with his face inches from hers. His breath puffed across Usagi's face while one of his arms was tucked under his head, the other resting on her lower back. Her hands rested on his chest, the fabric of his shirt tightly wound in her grasp.

Guilt burned in the belly, being wrapped up like this with him, no matter how hard Usagi's heartbeat in her chest. She wasn't sure where it was coming from, probably from knowing he loved someone else and that she was not only keeping him from her but selfishly enjoying having him to herself.

His face was still slack with sleep when his eyes started to open, and she closed hers quickly, hoping he didn't notice. Something about being awake before him and not removing herself from his arms was just too… embarrassing.

The bed moved slightly from Mamoru, adjusting himself but not removing his arms from her. For a second, Usagi thought he was just going to go back to sleep with the sun not up yet. But instead, she felt his lips on her nose, pressing them gently to the tip of it. She was sure he had caught her possuming, messing with her as she was him. However, he started to shake Usagi -gently and carefully- almost as if he wanted her to wake as much as she wanted to move.

"Usagi…wake up." She let her eyes slowly open, dark blue the only thing she could see. "We need to get going."

"Good morning to you too." Mamoru chuckled, either ignoring it or not finding her irritation threatening in the least. "Are we not going to wait for the others?" His smile faded, his head shaking slowly at her. "Are they… are they dead?"

Tears bubbled instantly at the thought, and Mamoru pulled her into his chest, catching them on his shirt as soon as they fell. "No. They are all fighters. No way they would die so easily, not to that pack of Youma." She curled into his comfort, allowing herself these few moments more to be with him. "Come on. They are probably already waiting for us in Omsk."

oOo

After a strange breakfast of canned corn, beets, strange jellied meat, and the rest of her cherries that Mamoru ate from her fingers (making her giggle), they wrapped up and made for the bike. He straddled the bike before Usagi, stopping and leaning over to tuck a stray hair up into her cap before helping Usagi on, sitting her before him again. It was as if all the cruel-like tension he held the day before had melted away, back to his kinder side. He must have just needed some rest. Clearly, he was the cranky type when he went without sleep.

Vibrating and humming below her, he helped the bike back out of the barn with his feet on the ground, turning them around before giving it any gas. Soon, the house and bed they shared were vanishing in the distance; the two of them on their own to Omsk.

She figured it was about an hour (sun peeking over the horizon was her only timepiece) when they passed a sign that had Russian and OMSK scrawled on it. As soon as they passed it, Mamoru slowed the bike, pulling gently off the road and turning off the engine. They sat in silence for a few seconds; Usagi was confused while Mamoru tensed behind her. He held the bike upright with his legs. His hands, still on the handles, released them and sat back. While she still held on to his thighs with her death grip. Sitting in front of him might have been for her safety, but it felt very precarious, guarding her against an attack from behind but not from slipping off and falling to the fast-moving ground.

"Why have we stopped?" She finally asked after too many tense moments.

"I just want… to make sure you are ready."

"Ready?!"

"Omsk isn't going to be like any place you have seen, Usagi. It will be worse than Tokyo and Tamark combined."

"How is that? Tokyo is a wasteland, and Tamark was hell on Earth."

"Omsk is neither human nor Youma controlled. Instead, they are continuously fighting for the grounds. As long as you don't attack, the Youma tend to leave you alone. But that doesn't mean we won't see people getting drained or beat up. Those who support Beryl walk around freely, helping her cause. And those who are against her either hide or attack at random. They're not as organized as we are in Tokyo and if Beryl weren't so content on wiping Tokyo from the planet, this place would be a similar smoking husk. It's a forgotten land, Usagi, only those who love it still fight for it."

"Okay, so it's a bit rough…."

"No, it's very rough, and you will need to control yourself, or we will not make it out alive. No matter what happens, you need to find Uranus and Neptune and get out."

Mamoru was silent, waiting for her to understand. Usagi gave him a nod, the best she could do, as she was uncertain what he was asking her to promise exactly. It sounded like he wanted her to leave him behind.

She tried to shift her body, turn and face him, but Mamoru's arm slapped around her waist and held her still. "You need to focus on your mission, Usagi, nothing else."

Damn Mamoru and his mission talk.

oOo

Snow was thick on the ground, but it had been pushed off the roads in the city, slightly cleared by someone who cared. People walked around in the bitter cold. Not as many as there were in Tamak and Youma were mixed in. Every time a Youma passed a person, they either cringed and pulled in tight to a building or gave a respectful nod. It was easy to see who was on which side, friend or scared.

The buildings still stood, but most were severely damaged. They passed what used to be a beautiful Cathedral, gold tops on the turrets still gleaming in the hazy sunlight while huge holes threatened to bring the whole structure down. Flying down the road, they went over a questionable bridge that no longer looked structurally sound, but Mamoru plowed on over. Some streets were almost completely blocked off by cars. There were a few cars on their sides or tops and a few roads; the vehicles were still smoking from the fire they had inside them. Few buildings still had glass in their windows, and smoke billowed out of a few. Small clouds made Usagi think it was someone inside; a fire to keep warm, not bring the place down.

Mamoru slowed only when they got to a large square; one that was so thick with bodies, he had no choice but to stop. It reminded her of the one she saw in the Stronghold. But this one, all the vendors were Youma.

Helping her off the bike, Mamoru just left it on the street, not caring if it was locked up or stolen. He held her hand tight, lacing his fingers with hers to lock them together so she didn't slip away. Usagi could see why; it was not easy to maneuver through the crowd at all, and Mamoru was pushing through harshly. Even with his roughness, no one said anything or even gave him so much as a glance.

Youma called out to those who passed, offering strange items like fresh water and gas for sale. A few had things like oranges and bread, and others had blankets. There were ones selling heaters, which she could see being very useful. But most people bought food and water.

One table sold clothes—coats, socks, mittens, underwear, jeans, snow gear, boots, everything a person would need to live comfortably in this weather. And the coats had the highest price of anything she had seen so far.

Mamoru still had a death grip on her when someone else put one on her. Grabbing her arm and pulling her back, her hand got painfully ripped from Mamoru's. Usagi found her arm in the hands of a Youma; her long, thick jaw reminded her of a cartoon of Frankenstein's monster while the pink skin hung loose on her arms. A plump belly poked out of her fur-lined coat, a tiny shirt only covering its breasts and short pants on its hips, leaving its potbelly exposed to the elements.

"This is some fine material you have here. I'll give you five oranges for it."

Even if Usagi was hungry, no way was the coat worth only five oranges. "It's not for sale. Sor…"

She stopped herself short from saying 'sorry'. The Youma's face squinted up, looking her over for the first time, closely. "Everything is for sale here."

The creature still had her arm, so Usagi ripped it out of its grasp and hoped to get lost in the crowd while finding Mamoru in the process. But another large figure blocked her escape. "What's the problem here?"

Usagi held up her hands, looking down at the ground quickly. "There is no problem, just no sale."

It gripped her chin, pulling it up hard and a sneer spread across it. Looking behind her at the original Youma, the large, wall-like creature with square shoulders and a good nine feet of height, sneered. "You were right again, Eleadona; this is a pretty one. Very pretty."

Their hands grabbed her tight, the female coming up to her ear. "I told you, everything is for sale. And now we will sell you to the highest bidder and let them do whatever they want with you."

Usagi didn't even know if she should struggle, not wanting to gain more attention. But that seemed pointless now; it was either fight or get sold for parts. Kicking at the hulking creature did little, his body like bricks under her feet. Squirming in their arms only bruised her, their grip as tight as iron. The bazaar was still filled with people, and no one looked at them twice.

They had moved her a few feet, passing more and more people who did nothing as she squirmed and screamed against their hold, searching desperately for Mamoru. When she couldn't find him or any other escape, she stopped her struggle, focusing on the strange energy inside her. She was about to reveal herself, but what choice did she have?

Usagi's heart was burning, a combination of her power and her pain, the pain of so many faces ignoring her struggle. Already her breath was ragged, but neither creature noticed her pooling energy in her chest. They only saw her give up, a chuckle coming from both of them.

The larger Youma now walked ahead of her; the woman held Usagi tight by herself while he cleared the way for them. Usagi had no clue where they were taking her, but it wasn't going to be good. She needed to get free while she was still out in the open.

It was now or never.

The large Youma stopped suddenly before them, the one who held her tight, almost running her face into its back. Eleadona let out a "Hey," but the rest of her words died in her throat, the large mass shaking before them. He spun slowly on one heel, facing them as he fell to his knees on the ground. His spasm continued to the ground, his chest falling right after his knees and turning to dust just as his body hit the ground. The creature still held her, and Usagi jerked their heads back up, finding a very pissed-looking Mamoru. She could see sparks of electricity in his eyes.

"Get. Your fucking hands. Off her."

The hairs on the back of her neck stood up straight, but Eleadona just chuckled—a little nervously, Usagi noted. "You think I'm scared of a little electricity?"

Something popped behind Usagi (reminding her of thunder in the distance), and it caused her to cringe. Forcing her eyes back open, Usagi found Mamoru's eyes on hers, getting impossible dark at the sight of her. The wind around them was picking up; the already frigid temperatures started to drop even lower while snow started falling in buckets. The sky had turned completely dark, and even though this weather seemed normal to her this time of year, everyone around Usagi began to freak out a little. Even the Youma that held her shifted her weight -uneasy.

"It's you. What are you doing here?"

Mamoru sneered. "That's none of your business. Now let her go."

But the creature only tightened her grip. "This girl must be critical for you to want her so badly."

Mamoru remained silent. The dark sky suddenly lit up, thunder soon following and causing her to cringe again. Now Usagi was a little freaked. Snow and lightning? That was not normal.

The hold on her disappeared, and she wasted no time running to Mamoru's side. He wrapped an arm around her and started to back both of them up. She thought it was all over, but she was wrong. Every Youma in the market had left their booths, making their way through the thinning crowd to either check out the fight or lend a hand. It was a lot of Youma.

With the combination of the freezing air and the fear the strange situation was giving her, a hard shiver ran up Usagi's spine, causing her to coil into Mamoru's hold a little tighter. His already tight hold increased, and the wind died out along with the strange thunder and snow. Unconcerned whether they followed or not, Mamoru turned both of them around; his attention split between what still threatened them from behind and the path before them. She glanced back, seeing several of the Youma take off after them.

His coat in her hands, gripping him tight at his back and chest, she pulled slightly with both hands. "Mamoru…"

"I know."

There was no fear or concern in Mamoru's voice; it held nothing but finality, knowing just exactly what they were about to face.

They made it to a dark alley before the first attack went their way, both of them dodging it easily. Spinning them back around, Mamoru didn't so much as loosen his hold on her, taking his free arm and holding it up. She could barely see it -the shift in the air- but it was there, and as soon as a Youma touched it, they flew back. It was like a barrier made of wind, the air spinning slightly in the shape of a wall.

The first Youma to get thrown back was on its feet again; a green and gloppy-looking beast threw a glob of goo at the wall, only to have it flung back in its face. Usagi's skin tingled, so many Youma in one place had her senses going haywire since they passed the city sign. But she was sure about this.

"Mamoru..."

She didn't get another word out. Mamoru released his arm from her waist and turned. Both arms stretched out, the new group of Youma that tried to attack from behind was now also held back by his wall of air, pinning them in.

There were easily twenty Youma now surrounding them, looking back and forth between the two groups. A small and knobby-looking one watched the two of them a little closer than Usagi liked. "You can't keep this up forever, Prince!"

She looked at Mamoru's face, his strain clear as day as he tried to keep the barrier up. But he only grinned. "You're right."

Feeling it more than seeing it, she watched as the Youma started to crowd one another, pushing and shoving against one another. She couldn't see what they were trying to get away from, but she could feel it.

A few burst into dust, the space becoming so tight and their bodies unable to take the pressure. A few remained, allowing Usagi to see the second wall of air closing in on them like an old booby trap from the movies. The tiny one with the knobs grimaced up at them.

"You won't be able to protect her forever. Beryl will find her and rip her heart out."

Usagi felt Mamoru tense under her hands and out of nowhere, lightning struck the ground leaving a smoking dark spot on the Earth where the mouthy Youma once stood.

Now, only a large pile of quickly evaporating dust remained. Mamoru dropped both his arms and panted before her. Usagi was patting him down, checking him for any injuries, and feeling his energy reserves, which were nearly depleted. Mamoru's hands were on his knees, his face to the ground, but Mamoru suddenly popped his head up to look at Usagi.

"Are you okay?"

Her eyes went wide at the silly question. "ME? What about you? You are going to kill yourself if you keep pulling stunts like that!"

He chuckled at her, rising but putting his hands on her shoulders for support. "Not all of us have endless amounts of energy."

She frowned, but he smirked, Mamoru's hand coming up to her cheek to brush away what she assumed was dirt. His thumb grazed her skin but stilled, Mamoru's hand remaining on her face as he cupped it. Mamoru's other hand slid down from her shoulder to her elbow and slowly pulled her even closer. Now all Usagi thought about was just how ridiculously close they were to one another.

The dark rage that had been in his eyes was long gone. Now they were hazy from his exhaustion and were fixed on hers. A nagging voice in the back of Usagi's head kept reminding her of how Mamoru was already in love with someone and that someone was not her. But Usagi still couldn't help the overwhelming desire to know what his lips felt like. Mamoru pressed Usagi to his chest; the hand on her elbow now wrapped around to the small of her back. She closed her eyes, willing him to do whatever he pleased with her from that point on.

Applause broke out. A single pair of hands slapped together above them and caused Usagi to fling her eyelids back. An irritated look was on Mamoru's face, but it quickly switched to concern. Then she was behind him, pushing her into his protection again.

"The ever-impressive Endymion. What the hell are you doing here?"

Usagi glanced up and around him, finding a fuku covered woman standing on the roof above them. She was looking down with little interest on her face. Her short blond hair and stern face went well with her armor's dark blue and yellow.

"And here I thought we were unworthy of such visits."

Spinning her head, Usagi found another Senshi, sitting across the gap on the building across from her partner. Her beautiful aqua hair blew gently in the wind, almost matching the lovely green of her skirt. Neither woman was worried about their beauty getting them into trouble.

Mamoru relaxed a little, allowing Usagi to slip out from behind him. "We are here for you."

Both women visibly tensed at the sight of her, clearly recognizing her in a similar manner that Makoto had. Ami and Rei must have shown them all her picture a thousand times for them to know her with a single glance. Cause that's all the two women gave her.

"What exactly do you want with us?"

The blonde was defensive, crossing her arms over her chest like a pouting child. "We need you to end all of this. To put Beryl down for good."

They bristled at Mamoru's voice, their dislike of him clear from the very start. Usagi put a gentle hand on his shoulder, pushing him back. "I am asking you to join me."

They both hesitated, the blonde shivering at her words before turning completely away from her. The beauty across from the blonde frowned down at Usagi. "That is not our job. And you already have your Prince to help you. You have no need for us."

"What? What does that even mean? You're Senshi! My Senshi!"

"We are not yours! We have our own mission, and we will be sticking with that instead of running pointlessly alongside the likes of you!"

The blonde spat at Usagi, barely looking at her face as she spoke. Mamoru was fuming, shooting daggers at the blonde. "Your own mission? Like running around and starting fights just to leave them in the middle? Uranus, she is your Princess, dammit. You are supposed to protect her!"

So that was Uranus. Which meant the other was Neptune. She looked between the two of them, watching as they grappled with Mamoru's words, only to offer her sad looks. "You made your choice, Princess. And have aligned yourself once again with those who will only bring you harm. Even with all that has happened…."

"I align myself with those I love and trust! I won't pretend to understand what or who you are talking about, but I can tell you that there is not a single person on my side that I would not risk my life for! They're all good, strong, and caring people!"

Everyone was still and silent, the two Senshi looking her over. But their glances kept flashing back to Mamoru till they relaxed. "Then you have no need for us."

Before she could get another word out, they were gone.