Chapter 17

"When things go wrong, don't go with them." ― Elvis Presley

"Another train?" Tracks span out around them, everyone climbing on one of the trains in the best condition while she watched on. Haruka and Michiru were right behind Usagi and had been for the four-hour walk from the bunker to the train station. No one told Usagi anything about the plan. With everything changed, it felt like everything was still the same. "We are still at least a day away by train to Berlin," Mamoru was a little slower than the rest, still tired from the brawl they survived a little over twenty-four hours ago, "we barely made it to Kyoto last time, and you were at full power then!"

His soft and tired smile disappeared as quickly as it came, stepping into the train before them and out of Usagi's sight. "We don't need Mamoru-san to power the train." Ami found her way to Usagi's side, drawing her attention back to the Senshi as they gathered. "From here to Moscow, the trains run on their own."

"If they run, then why are they empty and open?" Usagi's eyes danced, landing on the two 'locals' for answers.

"At first, many crowded the trains looking to escape. But then it was revealed that trains left here -full- arrived at their destinations empty, and people decided to hide instead." Michiru was a bit more gentle than Haruka but just as hardened and mature.

Usagi wasn't sure what either woman's age was, but they seemed far older than her and even Ami. No, these women were on the same level as Mamoru and Toki.

The inside of the train was decent, with plush dark red carpet and shiny steel walls that peaked between scratched faux wood panels. Everyone was splitting off to their own 'rooms', except for Haruka and Michiru, who kept close behind her.

Usagi stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Saori standing before Mamoru. He was leaning heavily on the door to the room he had selected while Saori shifted her weight back and forth. It looked like she was trying to enter his room, and he wasn't allowing it.

Mamoru's eyes found Usagi and his face struggled, wanting to be happy at the sight of Usagi but not wanting to reveal it to Saori. She watched on, Saori following his eyes to Usagi and grimacing. Grabbed by the arm, Usagi was dragged into a room. Haruka pulled her from the scene and into the sleeper car next to the awkward moment. The last thing Usagi wanted was to part from Mamoru, but she wasn't given a choice. At least she got the small satisfaction of seeing Saori stomp past, not allowed to share a car with Mamoru.

With a slow start, they were soon rocketing towards Berlin. To her shock, both Neptune and Uranus nodded off. Probably up the night before watching. Add in the gentle rock of the train, and Usagi struggled to stay awake as well. But she just couldn't fall asleep, not like this.

As quietly as possible, she left her shared sleeper and crept into Mamoru's. "Some things never change…."

Jumping as she spun, Mamoru was wide awake, watching her sneak. "You should be sleeping!"

"I'm resting. What are you doing?"

Shrugging, she made her way as gracefully as possible to the seat across from him. "I couldn't sleep. Not while…" she fidgeted, and he waited, "something about you being alone doesn't sit well with me. Never has."

Slow to smile, Mamoru slid to his side and gestured for her to join him. Trying not to seem too eager, Usagi carefully laid beside him, her back to his front. Mamoru didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around her and hold her tight to him. "When I was six… my parents died in a car accident." She tensed, and he was ready for it, keeping her from falling off the 'bed'. "No one claimed me, so I grew up in an orphanage. When I was old enough, I declared my independence and moved into my place with the help of money left to me by my parents. I've always been alone. Until you, that is."

He placed a kiss to an open spot on her neck and caused a rush down her spine from it. Usagi only held his arms around her tighter. "I'm sorry."

"Thank you."

"Mamo… I don't want you to be alone ever again."

"I won't." There was such confidence in Mamoru's voice; it was hard to refute it. "Get some sleep. We still have a long journey and fight ahead of us."

It was strange how different Usagi felt, the train's rocking the same and the atmosphere unchanged. And yet, she struggled to stay awake either because Mamoru held Usagi safe and secure or his command to sleep. She was sure it was his warmth spreading over her, making it impossible to stay conscious.

oOo

Usagi again didn't have to search for her dream man; his mouth was firmly planted to hers once she was aware of her surroundings. It was a continuation of where they left off, getting interrupted when Mamoru woke up. Usagi, when awake, didn't understand because she still didn't remember anything that happened outside the dream. But this Usagi, the one Mamoru pressed his tongue against while cradling her to him, knew all. Like how they were cut off last time due to Toki waking up Mamoru to talk, how her lips were swollen from kissing for close to an hour before waking up, and (most importantly) how Mamoru kept her other self in the dark.

Pushing gently, Usagi got her freedom. But not before Mamoru placed one more kiss to her top lip, leaving a trail of hot wetness under her nose. She would have giggled if she wasn't upset.

"What's wrong. Usako?"

Being terrible at hiding her feelings hadn't changed in five years, and Usagi still sucked at it in her dreams. Mamoru was reading her easily, and she didn't kid herself with thinking it had something to do with his powers. "Why don't I remember?"

He sighed, "I told you, you don't want to remember. You're scared…."

"Not about that, about here? Why do I still not remember when I wake up?" Mamoru blanched while she smirked. "Now, who's scared?"

He pulled away, glaring at her occasionally as he paced. "Why did you kiss me?!"

Usagi huffed out a laugh in surprise and embarrassment. "I don't know! Because I wanted to? Because I finally knew who you were? And because I was so happy it was you, that I was in love with two men that were the same person, that I couldn't stop myself?"

Mamoru turned, his pace bringing him to stand before her in one long step. Looking down, he towered over, but she still didn't feel small. "I didn't want our first kiss to be in here. My first kiss… and yours?"

"Are you asking me if I've kissed someone else before?"

A grin pulled at his frown, twisting his mouth to the side in a manner that Usagi found so beautiful and sexy, it made her knees weak. "No. I know you haven't."

"Gee, thanks."

"I wanted you to know that I waited for you. To kiss and… everything else. There's only you, Usako. Always." She tipped up on her toes and brushed her lips across his, and Mamoru let her for a moment, only to break away suddenly and go back to pacing. "I should have kept who I was from you longer; I wanted to be sure our first kiss wasn't in here. If I'd known you would react... like you did.."

"You know me well enough to know that it was only going to end that way."

Usagi felt like a tiger stalking her prey, slowly moving towards Mamoru while he slowly backed away. "I know… I just couldn't help myself. And you were hurting."

"You were hurting too," Usagi told him the truth he already knew.

He stopped, letting her catch him. They both wrapped arms around one another, staring at each other's faces even with the height difference. "When you told me you were in love with someone else… god, I can't even explain how it felt when you told me the name of the guy. My name."

"Who else could it have been?!"

Mamoru hesitated, his mouth skewed in a strange line. "Motoki."

"WHAT?!"

"You said the guy was in love with someone else. Motoki is the only person from our past that has someone else."

Usagi shook her head at him hard, "I told you that the others were telling stories. Mainly about your love life. I even asked you not to give up on the girl you left behind. The one you love…."

"I don't know who they were talking about, but the only girl I've ever loved is you, Usako." Her heart tripped, and her jaw dropped. "What?"

"That's the first time…."

Mamoru's face fell to a grimace, and he pulled away from Usagi, growling as he turned. "Goddammit. I wanted to say that to your face first, not in here!!"

Her heart was slowing down, but she still crossed her arms over it to protect it, feeling pain close to rejection. "Calm down; I won't remember it anyway."

Usagi had been looking away to the dewy floor. The feeling of his fingers on her elbows didn't change that. "It's just that… for years, I've told myself that this place wasn't real. That you weren't real. Outside of here, you're the only thing that's real for me. And… you were asleep for so long…."

She hadn't thought about it, how Mamoru had waited for her to wake up. How lonely must that have been for him? It had Usagi forgetting her anger in an instant, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling them closer. Mamoru looked shocked, his eyes wide as he hesitated to collect her into his arms. "I'm sorry."

His head shook hard and fast, "you have nothing to be sorry for…."

"Mamo, I'm sorry I left you alone."

He tensed but then released a heavy sigh. His hot breath wafted over Usagi's face as he ducked down to press his forehead against hers. "I forgive you. And I hope someday; you can forgive me for letting you down…."

"I forgive you."

Usagi felt far from let down. Tuxedo Kamen, Mamoru, had tried so hard to protect her. He had succeeded many times before; it wasn't his fault that she went rogue. But, if he had saved her that night, where would she be right now? Where would the world be? Would it still be broken from her failing somewhere else along the way? There was no telling what could have happened, only what did. And nothing of Usagi's past made her love the man before her any less.

His mouth hovered over hers, his pants so hot that they fogged up Usagi's lips. "We shouldn't…."

"Mamo, I won't remember…."

"I know, but I will."

She giggled and felt a smile curl on his lips against her skin. "Exactly. So when you wake up, you'll remember that I want you to kiss me. It should be the first thing you do when you wake up. I'm all yours, Mamo."

There was a strange sound like a growl from the back of Mamoru's throat before his mouth collided with Usagi's. His hands on her back helped him bow her back. Mamoru bowed his to meet her, bending his tall structure over her short one to accomplish his goal, which was to leave her breathless (Usagi assumed), her mind spinning as Mamoru devoured her. Usagi felt like she was in a haze and like her lips were sore, Mamoru cutting a pathway from her mouth to her shoulder. She vaguely wondered if this was why she appeared here in a gown with little covering her neck, chest, and shoulders. He kissed her collarbone hard, and her hands threaded her fingers in his hair up to his scalp.

"Mamo…"

It came out as a moan, and Usagi was instantly embarrassed. Mamoru's lips popped off her skin, a sore spot there now where he'd been last. One look in his eyes, and she could see that he was in the same haze.

The only thing keeping her from the floor was Mamoru's support; having bent back so far for him, she might as well have been lying down. The heat of his palms was felt, making her sweat through the cool mist in her silk. But it was the heat of his stare that got Usagi the most, Mamoru's dark orbs lighting her on fire deep inside her soul.

When they went wide, the fire in them going out as his dilated pupils went back to normal in a snap, Usagi knew something was wrong. And why he was only able to pull her back upright before the world ended.

oOo

Usagi had been sleeping peacefully in Mamoru's arms. That was why she was confused, still in Mamoru's arms but no longer on the train's long couch they used for a bed. Instead, they were on the wall. Mamoru still had his arms around her, one arm around her waist while the other was up to try and keep them still.

Because the train was rolling.

Mamoru's hand slapped to the ceiling, and Usagi woke the rest of the way up, putting her hands out as well. But, unfortunately, there was no stopping their propelled motion as their bodies slammed into the roof of the train car. Pain sung through Usagi's bones, but she did her best not to let it show, sitting up and grabbing Mamoru. He was putting his legs out to catch them before they fell hard on the other side of the car. The glass was already cracked from the pressure of the steel around it getting pressed on. The size of the room was shrinking as the metal making it up crinkled like paper in a fist.

Mamoru's feet hit the glass and went straight through. Usagi went with him, holding onto him tight. It was pure luck (or careful planning by Mamoru) that they landed on a steel beam instead of more glass. Their speed would have had them punch through again.

When he crumpled slightly and groaned in her ear, Usagi knew Mamoru was hurt, but with them continually getting tossed, there was nothing she could do. It felt like they were in a never-ending spin, screams of the others punching through the sounds of the train tumbling. And it felt like a lifetime before the rolling slowed, tossed to the ceiling at least three times before Usagi lost count.

Mamoru wasn't moving at her side as Usagi pushed up on weak arms to sit again. Her palms were quickly cut on glass but so was the rest of her. Usagi's clothes were sliced and diced with her skin already sewing back together. Proof remained of the damage in the form of cuts and blood on her sweater and jeans. Her coat was somewhere back in her original cabin with Haruka and Michiru.

She needed to check on the others, see if they were alive and ready to run. There was no way the train just rolled off the track without a good push. On the roof, Usagi left a groaning Mamoru behind to rouse on his own, heading towards the front of the train to check on everyone else.

"Is everyone alright?!" She yelled as loudly as her smoke-torn throat allowed.

A few heads poked out from different places but not all of them. It had fear squeezing her heart; Usagi had less than half their group accounted for.

Coughing brought her attention to the cabin to her right, Rei spilling out and grabbing onto Usagi hard. "We need to get out of here. Away from the smoke and the wreck; we're sitting ducks!"

"Not without the others! I won't leave anyone behind!"

"We'll get them," Mamoru said suddenly behind Usagi, "just get out of the smoke."

His fingers brushed her spine and pushed her towards the shattered window—their exit. Haruka went with Usagi while Michiru stayed to help Mamoru; along with Ami and Makoto, all Usagi's Senshi were accounted for. But, of course, they would survive a train wreck.

As soon as Rei, Haruka, and Usagi stepped out of the train, another body fell out of it, covered in blood. But the blonde hair was an easy tell. "Motoki!!"

She was screaming, but so was Rei. They knew Motoki. And he had risked so much to come on this trip. It was why they both ran to his side and gently pulled him from the wreck. Haruka stayed vidual, keeping her eyes on the surroundings. Motoki coughed and groaned; other than a deep slice to his forehead, he was alright. The same couldn't be said for the train and those still inside.

It was a nightmare, the sounds, smells, and the pain. It had Usagi filled with terror that went beyond the norm; it was made worse because this felt…familiar. Maybe it was her near-death experience, but the horror show surrounding her felt like a memory instead of reality. It had her brain spinning; the violence and fear choked Usagi while she tried in vain to recover. Because you can't recover from something when you have no clue what it is to stop it.

Haruka was at her side -screaming- when Usagi realized she was on the ground. It was Ami that Usagi understood, the bluenette on her knees beside her while Usagi tried to keep her head from falling apart.

"We have to let it happen," was all Ami said or did.

Usagi wanted to ask, to question what was happening, but her vision was failing. Or rather, it was being replaced by images of something else. Arms wrapped around her, and Usagi at least felt safe even as death flashed before her eyes. It was Mamoru, hushing and cooing in her ear to help keep her calm. It helped some, but all she could see were bodies, and it had her stomach turning.

The images didn't fade. Instead, they snapped away just as Mamoru wrenched her to her feet. Usagi's confusion made her head burn. But a voice cut through it all, Haruka slapping a hand to Usagi's mouth as she mumbled incoherently.

"Come out, come out, where ever you are!"

Usagi had no clue who the voice belonged to, but they didn't sound friendly in the least. "Great. This is the worst time; Serenity is still out of it!" Haruka growled softly.

"I'm sure that was his intention." Ami rationalized.

Usagi was spinning, holding on tight to Mamoru, who clutched her back in return. Their backs were to the train, and Usagi looked around to try and gain her barrings. Rei had Motoki on the ground as close to the metal as she could get him. A few others were crawling out of the wreckage now, Makoto and Michiru helping. But they didn't get everyone, some still inside while others…went the wrong way.

"Well, hello there. Did you come to play?"

There was a disgusting air to the man speaking. And Usagi felt it rush up her spine, pushing at Mamoru's hold too late. The screams…were the worst Usagi had ever heard. Because she recognized who they came from as Mary and Yega were attacked. And as their screams faded, Usagi knew they were now dead. Drained dry by the Youma she sensed too late to do anything about.

Bitting her hand, Usagi managed not to scream. Mamoru twisted her in his hold to press her face into his chest; he held her just short of suffocating against him. He was shaking, and so was she; Usagi shook with her sorrow as her friends were murdered inches from them and no one stopping it.

"Endymion! Are you going to let these weaklings die for you? Or are you going to come out and face me?!"

Usagi was suddenly shoved back, Haruka grabbing her hard as Mamoru handed her off. With everything going on, she was out of it in more than one way. It was why Usagi was only able to claw at Haruka's grip while Mamoru stepped around the corner of the train into view.

"There you are," the voice called out with renewed joy, "I've missed you, my Prince."

"Looks like you found me, Zoisite."