Waking up in a much better bed than she had gone to sleep in who knew how many days prior (it was two), was disorienting...but a quick test revealed she wasn't a devil.

Asia slowly got up, did a few basic stretches and noticed her power levels were still ridiculously low.

As it turned out, after she had kicked the ass of the fallen who had kidnapped her, Issei had carried her (rather respectfully, to her amazement) out of the church. Rias had had her taken to her residence, which was deep within the school grounds and under heavy protections.

Since Asia wasn't in mortal danger, and she really didn't want to potentially piss off the Church by poaching one of their clergy as it was clear Asia had not agreed to the ritual, Rias wanted to hear her side of the story before she did anything.

"So you're an ex-communicated nun because you were busted healing a devil on holy grounds?" said Rias with sympathy.

Asia could tell the slightly older girl was a bleeding heart. So rather than give her the slightly altered story she used before, she gave her the flat truth.

"Apparently I'm not supposed to have that particular ability, and once they found out I did they were quick to get rid of me to avoid the scandal. It didn't help that I was only a novitiate, not a full nun. They said something about how it would be too damaging to the Church's reputation if it got out that Twilight Healing was able to heal devils too," said Asia.

"What's a novitiate?" asked Issei. It was clear he favored the odd nun, but was a complete neophyte when it came to the Moonlit World.

"It's a woman who hasn't taken the full vows to become an official nun," said Rias.

"So they kicked you out because you healed someone? That's complete bullshit!" said Issei.

"To be fair, I was already planning to leave the Church the first chance I had. I want to have children at some point, and I really don't appreciate the way they were using me as some sort of caged cash cow to line their own pockets."

Rias' eyes gleamed hearing that.

"You know, since the Church cast you out I could always..."

Asia shook her head.

"I have no interest in being a devil," she said immediately. "But...I would be willing to trade some of the blackmail I have on the higher ups in the clergy in exchange for protection from the House of Gremory."

Issei wasn't the only one to blink at that.

"You have blackmail?" said Issei.

Asia had a mysterious smile.

"You'd be surprised how lax some people are in regards to their dirty little secrets around a mousy novitiate who's never tried to challenge their rules and knows how to keep quiet. I'm sure your brother would be thrilled to have ammo against someone like a cardinal regarding things they would really like to keep quiet."

"How big are we talking about?" asked Rias seriously.

"Big enough that the usual scandals of pedophilia would be a pebble compared to the secrets I've got on them. I don't have direct evidence, but I can still point you exactly where to look to get it," said Asia.

Rias had a darkly pleased look on her face.

"Well I can't make any promises, but I don't have a problem providing protection for as long as you stay here. Though considering your age, it might be best to enroll you in Kuoh as an added protection measure."

Asia perked up at that. She hadn't considered enrolling in the local high school and her last attempt at it had been miserable considering she had to deal with Reborn's antics as well as keeping her Guardians in line. It would be nice to have a relatively calm high school experience.

"There is the small matter of where to put you though," said Rias.

Two days later...

The Hyoudou's were very delighted to have Asia around, as her presence seemed to exude a calming influence on their perverted son. She honestly didn't have any issue with Issei...he was actually quite a sweetheart once you got to know him.

Asia's inclusion to Kuoh was met with little fanfare. It was actually rather refreshing, being around normal people again and not having to entirely hide her real self.

Sure, she was considered part of the Occult Research Club, but she didn't have a problem with that as it meant she had plenty of time to discuss spells with Akeno, play chess against Rias, or share sweets with Koneko.

Sirzechs Lucifer was many things, but an idiot wasn't one of them. When his sister forwarded even a fraction of blackmail her new club member had (who wasn't part of her peerage, oddly enough), his only reaction was to immediately make a surprise visit to see the girl in question.

One look at Asia Argento and he knew.

"You're a Vongola. Why are you here and not in Italy?" asked Sirzechs.

Asia blinked and looked at him. Sirzechs had asked for a private meeting, and as she was not one of Rias' evil pieces, his sister had agreed.

"...You've run into Giotto before, haven't you?" she deadpanned.

Sirzechs had an amused expression on his face.

"Actually, yes. That and unlike Rias, I recognize Sky flames for what they are," he replied.

Asia ran her hand through her hair in exasperation.

"Long story short my birth father is a complete moron and the current don has lost his damn mind," said Asia. "That and a certain famiglia really needs to knock it off with that bazooka of theirs."

Sirzechs had only one thing to say about that.

"Enrico, Massimo, or Federico? You're too old to belong to Xanxus."

"Try Iemitsu," said Asia, practically growling the name.

Sirzechs winced. If she was Iemitsu's kid, it was no wonder she wanted nothing to do with her father's famiglia. He had only met the guy once and that had been all he needed to know the man was an idiot of major proportions.

"What are your intentions with my sister?"

"Nothing. I'm using her to avoid the Church and any further attacks from the Fallen," said Asia without hesitation. "I mostly came to Japan to get funds and plan my next move."

"How did you get this much blackmail? Some of the things here are bad enough that they'd quite literally kill to keep it quiet."

"I was trained by the best and no one suspects the quiet ones," said Asia, eyes hard. "Plus I can easily think of a dozen ways you could use that to your advantage, being the current Lucifer and all."

They made pleasant small talk, but Sirzechs left satisfied that the ex-nun wasn't a threat to his sister. At least for now.

Asia was out getting sweets to share with Koneko when she happened to see him. Most people would have passed him by without a second thought.

However the second she saw him, a sudden epiphany hit her about why Kuoh sounded familiar.

The head of the Fallen faction, Azazel, was currently slumming in Kuoh. He wasn't even trying to hide the fact he was there.

Now most people would have been too terrified or told the current Overseers about his presence.

Asia had spent far too many years telling overpowered idiots with massive egos and overblown pride "No, you can't kill him because it would cause me an unholy amount of paperwork and if I have suffer you damn well will too!"

She calmly left the line and walked over to him. It took him a split second to register her presence, and a slight hint of amusement crossed his face.

"May I help you young lady?"

"You can keep the lower rung idiots from pissing off the younger sisters of Lucifer and Leviathan for a start," she deadpanned. "Do you have any idea how annoying it was having to clean up that mess and deal with those idiots trying to steal a sacred gear?"

She could see his amusement switch to bafflement and a little irritation.

"What?"

"Three of yours thought it was a bright idea to kidnap me because I have Twilight Healing, then they immediately picked a fight with Lucifer's younger sibling. Last I checked, you were rather firm with the 'no restarting the great war between the factions'," said Asia dryly.

Azazel twitched. So much for a quiet cup of coffee.

"Do you have the names of the idiots I'll be raking over the coals...just to start? And how did you know who I was?"

"I was personally trained by a chaotic pain in the ass with an espresso addiction," said Asia bluntly. "I hate time travel."

Azazel blinked, before he started cackling. Hard.

She really didn't need to explain more than that.

"You wouldn't happen to have a phone number, would you?" he said once he got over his laughter.

Asia cheerfully handed it over.

On the plus side, she had someone to commiserate with regarding what a headache Reborn could be.

"By the way... are you the same one who handed over a rather amusing amount of blackmail on that fat cardinal?"

Asia smirked, and Azazel sensed chaos Reborn would definitely appreciate.

"Why, would you like some as well? I have some rather amusing blackmail on an archbishop and two rather idiot cardinals."

Azazel rubbed his beard.

"I think we can come to an arrangement," he said grinning. This girl was hilarious.

On the plus side, he now had blackmail on his own son. His boredom disappeared like magic.

Asia, despite being a few months younger than Issei, was considered the unofficial big sister in the home. His parents were thrilled, Issei gradually started to act like a half-way decent human being.

Issei's friends, the other two of the Perverted Trio, however were quickly brought into line by Asia as well. Asia didn't care about their perverted tendencies. She knew from experience that if the girls hadn't beaten it out of them by now it was unlikely they'd ever change unless all hell broke loose.

However the second they went to peep on the girls (Issei rarely did anymore since he had free access to a "much higher level of T and A" in his own words...Asia wasn't going to stop him since Rias allowed it) Asia became like the wrath of god on them.

Forget physical punishment...these idiots had long since accepted the beatings as 'payment' for their behavior and beating them wouldn't deter them for long.

Oh no, Asia went to Sona directly and asked if she could take care of the issue personally. So long as they weren't mentally broken and there wasn't a lawsuit, she was free to act as she saw fit.

Sona...really should have worried more about the foreboding feeling she got from the smile that crossed Asia's face.

Issei's POV...

"That's weird. Have either of you seen Motohama or Matsuda?" asked Issei.

"I think Asia-san called them over to her earlier. She had one of the student council with her," offered Hiryu.

Issei didn't know why, but he had a really bad feeling about this. A few more inquiries and he found out where they were alright...and he was staring in absolute horror.

"Just a few more laps to go, so long as you get the questions right!" Asia shouted out cheerfully. Akeno was on the side smiling wickedly. Issei knew she was a sadist and she was definitely getting off on this!

"What the hell?" said Issei.

"Asia asked that she be allowed to dole out any punishment for your friend's peeping. Just know Rias has permitted her to do the same to you if you fall out of line," said Sona. Issei couldn't read her expression all that well, but somehow he had the feeling she was enjoying this.

There was already quite a crowd and he really had to wonder where she found so many feral dogs to chase his friends around.

"Mommy!"

"Have mercy!"

"Mercy isn't here right now, try the fuck again!" Asia shouted back, to the vocal approval of the club girls they had been attempting to peep on.

Finally they were permitted to leave the track. The dogs were given the food and were happily eating it.

"You bitch!" said Motohama.

"I am so raping you in my dreams tonight!" said Matsuda.

Asia's eyes narrowed.

She pulled out the dog whistle and a couple of water balloons. Their eyes widened in horror, having only barely regained their breath.

"Wait..." said Motohama horrified.

Asia blew the whistle and hit them both with the balloons, making sure to stay well out of the splash zone.

The dogs turned away from the meat and started chasing them even more fervently now.

Issei was almost afraid to ask.

"What was in the balloons?"

"Pheromones from a female dog in heat," said Asia simply.

Issei stared at her for five seconds, then at his fleeing friends.

"You are evil."

"They need to learn not to toss out words like 'rape' so casually, especially since they're attending a school full of young women," said Asia pissed off. "Either they learn to respect women or they end up mentally traumatized for life."

On a related note, Asia was considered a hero among the girls and shot up the popularity poll within an hour. She was now at the same level of respect that Rias, Akeno and Sona had.