Ostagar
"This place is huge." Narascha stared in wonder at the ruins of Ostagar as they walked through the entrance way.
"And old," Epona said, fascination in her eyes. "I wonder at what tales it might hold."
"They would have been countless tales of deeds done here, for good or bad," Cobian said cheerfully. "Enough stories to fill a library I would imagine."
"I would love to study the ruins more closely," Epona admitted.
"That'll keep ya busy," Torph snorted.
"There would be so much to learn." Cobian beamed.
"Ho there, Duncan!"
Narascha paused. Didn't she recognise that voice? Familiar golden armour caught her eyes and she barely restrained a curse. No, no, she was fine. King Cailan couldn't possibly recognise her as a Princess (former) of Orzammar. She had dirty, messy hair and mismatched armour. She looked nothing like a Princess.
Nothing like a real warrior of Orzammar.
"King Cailan!" Duncan seemed startled, clumsily shaking the King's already outstretched hand as the guards in silver stopped just behind their King. "I wasn't expecting-"
"A royal welcome? I was beginning to wonder if you would miss all the fun!" Cailan smiled, his grin so positive and cheery.
Completely different from her father's usually grim expression.
"Fun?" Epona repeated, scowling. "Great, the human King is a moron."
Ciara coughed politely from behind. "Epona? Manners please."
"Fine." Epona crossed her arms, growling lowly and muttering in elvish under her breath.
Narascha highly suspected that it was curse words and by Ciara's amused smirk the rogue probably guessed the same too.
"So, are these the new recruits?" Cailan asked, examining each one of them, but paused when his eyes met hers. He looked puzzled. "Pardon me but you seem rather familiar, my lady..."
Torph snorted somewhere behind her, making her nearly scowl, but she managed to keep it suppressed and settled for a small smile.
"Oh, well she's-" Lawrien began, but yelped when Ciara kicked her ankle. "Ow! Why? What did I do wrong?"
"What have I taught you about subtly?"
"It's boring!"
"It's quite a story, your Majesty." Duncan answered for her, thankfully, ignoring the squabbling behind him.
Cailan looked amused thankfully, watching Lawrien and Ciara fall to the dirt, punching and kicking. "Reminds me of Fergus and I when we were younger," he said fondly, then eyed Cobian, bemused. "Speaking of which; what might you be doing here, little brother? I thought you were supposed to stay in Highever where it is safe?"
Cobian deflated and Narascha saw the happy confidence die in Cailan, snapped out like a candle. Ciara's and Lawrien's argument died off, the pair sitting in the dirt, staring up at them.
"It's not good news, Cailan."
Cailan's eyes grew hard. "Tell me who has dared cause you such distress. I will have their heads upon my gates!"
"Remind me never to upset Cobian," Torph muttered to her.
"Noted."
"I don't even quite know how to begin. Most would obviously say at the beginning, but I don't know how long Howe has truly used us for. How long he has manipulated us," Cobian rambled, his voice shaky. "But he's killed nearly everyone. Oriana, mother, father, Roderick, they are all dead and they can't come back can they? No. The world doesn't work like that. If you die you die, and you don't come back. Nobody has ever came back! I conducted multiple studies on it when our head chef caught that fever and died. You remember it right? It took days to get me out the library and everyone was so upset-"
Cailan looked murderous, but he reached out, and yanked Cobian into an embrace. Cobian went quiet and still, before slumping into his grasp. Cailan yanked off his gauntlet and tossed it to a guard, his fingers instantly tangled in Cobian's hair, brushing out knots.
Cailan's eyes bored into Duncan's over Cobian's shoulder. "What happened?" he asked sharply.
Duncan winced. "Arl Howe attacked the Cousland family while their army was away. We barely got out alive. If we hadn't, he would have killed us and told you any story he would have liked."
"Did anyone else get out?" Cailan scowled.
"Oren and Nan..." Cobian murmured. "Roderick stayed behind, so did Mother and Father. They stopped Uncle-" Cobian flinched. "They stopped him."
Cailan's face shouldn't have been able to grow anymore murderous, but it did. It baffled Narascha. The human King looked so concerned and upset for Cobian. For someone he called a brother. It was completely different from the last expression Narascha saw her brothers give her. Bhelen had been cold but Trian's had just been full of anger as usual before he was murdered. She was still unsure if the regret she had seen in Bhelen's eyes had been there or if she had been making it up for her own sanity.
Was this how siblings were supposed to be? Protective? Or was this just because Cobian was no threat to Cailan's rule over the throne? That made sense. They weren't truly related. Just like Ciara and Lawrien. Perhaps that was why their relationships worked. They had chosen their siblings.
A slim hand settled on her shoulder, startling her from her thoughts. Lawrien smiled, but there was a hint of anger behind that smile. It was odd, but Narascha felt like the anger wasn't directed at her.
"Cobian, I swear to you, once this darkspawn threat is dealt with I shall march my army straight to Highever and cut off Howe's head myself!" Cailan tightened his grip on Cobian. "I will make him suffer-"
"I don't want people to suffer," Cobian admitted. "It shouldn't have happened. I loved him. He was family-"
"Okay." Cailan softened. "We'll bring him to justice. He won't get away with this."
Cobian nodded. "I like that idea better."
"I'm still going to cut off his head though," Cailan grumbled, and stared down hard at Duncan. "So, you brought him here-"
"I'm becoming a Grey Warden," Cobian said swiftly.
Cailan grumbles deepened.
"Father said it was my duty."
"You Couslands and your damn duties." Cailan narrowed his eyes. "Your duty is supposed to be to me."
"Fergus has that job." Cobian stiffened. "I... I have to tell Fergus-"
Cailan softened. "He's not here right now. I had him and his men go scout, but when he gets back leave it to me-"
"No." Cobian shook his head. "I couldn't save Oriana. I tried. I heard them break down her door and I ran. I grabbed my sword and ran out. Every guard between us died to my blade but she took the blow for Oren and we had to protect him above all else-"
"Yes. I know." Cailan nodded. "You did well, Cobian. You protected Oren and you sent him somewhere safe."
"Anora..." he said softly.
"Even better. You did it. He'll be safe." Cailan pressed a kiss to his brow. "The heir to house Cousland is safe."
"So many people died..." Cobian's voice shook.
"I'm sorry."
"They were my friends..."
"I'm so sorry."
Cobian shook his head. "Now isn't the time for this." He pulled away reluctantly, and Narascha flushed. They had pretty much just butted into this entire conversation, silent observers, and that wasn't fair to Cobian.
Now she felt guilty. But she was happy too, and jealous. He had a brother figure who loved him, while neither one of hers had cared. Her hand automatically reached up for the necklace around her neck, but Narascha yanked it back down, gritting her teeth.
Poison was not love.
But Bhelen regretted what he did somewhat at least? Right? He had loved her once, she hoped.
.::.
Faren had wondered where on earth Daveth had gotten to, but he would never have guessed it was with the Grey Wardens as a fellow recruit. A fellow conscripted recruit. The irony. They were reuniting over a warm bowl of stew, for once not cooked by Duncan, Torph or Epona. It involved at lot less sighing and arguing. The sighs on Duncan's part of course.
The Commander looked like he could use a holiday. A very long one.
"I can't believe you ended up here too." Daveth grinned. "The boss throwing a fit back home?"
"Well they pinned Duncan to a wall and threatened to murder everything he loved if I died." Faren winced.
"Sounds about right," Daveth agreed. "The boss is insane after all."
Faren shook his head. "You don't know the half of it."
"I've heard all the rumours though." Daveth grinned. "Might never have seen the man, the actual man, but I bet he's insanely strong to run such a guild."
Ah, yeah, unlike Faren most people in the Thieves Guild had never actually seen the real Uncle Kerth. He usually had a decoy for meetings, or disguised himself. He always looked different, and sometimes even had a female decoy just to really mess with people. Only the most trusted of people new Uncle Kerth personally.
"I don't either know what race he is. I'm even just assuming he's a guy. The women are probably just there to mess with folk," Daveth said.
"Probably." Faren smiled.
"Still no hints? You even used 'they' instead of a gender," Daveth complained.
"Yes, and if I reveal something I might get stabbed by a grumpy thief," Faren teased.
He couldn't risk his Uncle's safety. Not like that. No matter how much he cared for Daveth. Daveth sighed and sprawled over his lap.
"No fun, Faren."
"Sorry, sorry." Faren petted his head.
.::.
"Well, we haven't found Anders or Myra." Lawrien grinned, hands on her hips. "That's good news!"
Ciara frowned. "I'm not sure about that. Yes, Myra is young, but a healer like Anders should be here unless he was thrown in a cell again."
"He escaped again, actually."
Lawrien jumped, but Ciara had heard Wynne coming. Wynne smiled, a strained smile. "Your group always got into so much trouble. Still are it seems," she said, almost crossly, but there was a fondness there.
"Nah," Lawrien snorted. "We just have fun."
"Jowan?" Wynne scowled.
"He might have taken it too far," Lawrien admitted sheepishly. "But the rest of us are all good!"
"Anders ran away from the Circle. How is that a good thing?" Wynne scolded.
"He's getting some fresh air?" Lawrien shrugged.
"He could ask permission."
"He never gets it," Lawrien argued.
"Because he always runs away," Ciara added in.
She dodged Lawrien's elbow and smiled. Lawrien grinned, shaking her head. "You always have to put your logic into things, don't you?"
"Somebody has to," Ciara teased.
"You haven't encountered Jowan, have you?" Wynne asked firmly, eyes growing hard. "You know to report him if you did, right?"
Lawrien scowled. "Do I?"
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"I'm not a little girl you and the Templars can boss around anymore. So no, if I did run into Jowan I wouldn't tell any of you about him." Lawrien smirked. "I would punch him though, because he tricked us."
Ciara found her hand on the dagger Knight-Commander Greagoir had given her a year ago. Her fist clenched around the pommel. Jowan had betrayed them. He had knocked her out with blood magic and broke her heart. He had said he'd never hurt her, and she had been willing to betray the Circle for that trust.
He had lied, used and abandoned them-
No. She brutally cut off those thoughts. So sharply apparently that Lawrien startled into flinching and eyeing her. It didn't matter though, Jowan was long gone and there was no point in dwelling on him.
"Lawrien, you must tell us if you see him," Wynne lectured. "He must be brought into the Circle and face justice for his actions."
"All he wanted to do was be with Lily." Lawrien crossed his arms. "He lied to us, yes, but I will not fault him all because he was in love."
Ciara disagreed. But Lawrien had her own opinions, and Ciara would accept them, even if they were sometimes irritating.
"You're as irresponsible as ever!" Wynne huffed. "I don't know how you and Myra are related, and the fact that you, Ciara, you let them get away with it as a Templar-"
"We're Grey Wardens." Lawrien rolled her eyes. "Not Templars or Circle mages, our path differs from Myra's, and hers from us. I accepted that a long time ago. Besides, family members don't have to be clones of each other. Myra is calm and I am wild and Ciara has an easy-going nature. Anders is confident and Jowan is shy. We're our own selves, and I wouldn't have it any other way."
Lawrien walked past Wynne without so much as another word. Ciara shrugged helplessly and followed after her. She could feel Wynne's disapproval even as they left.
"You never got along with Wynne all that well," Ciara mused.
"I like her," Lawrien argued, her brow furrowing. "She's kind and wants to help people and won't back down from a fight if challenged. But Wynne believes her suffering must be a sign that she can teach others to learn from her mistakes. She will butt into anyone's business and will lecture them even if they aren't her business. I was a Circle mage once, but now I'm a Grey Warden, and I won't let people I don't love get in the way of that."
"What do you mean?" Ciara frowned.
"People I don't know don't get a say in the way I live my life. Those I love do, but at the end of the day it's my life to live," Lawrien said firmly. "I will live it the way I wish, and I do so as me."
Ciara bit her lip. "But what if you don't know who you are?"
Lawrien stopped to hug her tight. "You're Ciara. My sister. And I will always love you."
Ciara settled in her embrace. "I've been a noblewoman, a Templar, now a Grey Warden, and I'm in my early twenties. It is hard to know where I'm going, even when I pray to the Maker I feel lost..."
She had been feeling lost for years, then found Lawrien, Myra, Anders and Jowan. But now Anders and Myra were lost to her in the Circle, and Jowan betrayed them all. All she had left was Lawrien.
"You don't always need to know where you're going." Lawrien smiled. "That's apart of what makes life living. You go through the adventure and see what comes of it."
"But sometimes the unknown is terrifying."
Lawrien grinned. "Good."
Ciara snorted. "And you're just as terrifying."
Lawrien laughed.
.::.
Cobian furiously scribbled in his notebook by the campfire in front of Cailan's tent. Cailan had told Duncan Cobian would stay with them, and Duncan surprisingly did not argue, or maybe it was unsurprisingly. The Grey Wardens (especially Ferelden ones) tended not to argue with nobility quite so much.
"Cailan told me you were here. I had hoped it wasn't true though."
Cobian perked up, even as Calenhad sprinted past to go jump Uncle Loghain, barking happily. Uncle Loghain petted him before sitting down by Cobian. Calenhad of course went racing off into Cailan's tent, earning a yelp from some unfortunate servant. There was a clatter of what sounded like a tray, and Cobian decided not to pay it any mind.
"Hello, Uncle."
"Cailan told me what happened. I'm sorry, Cobian," Uncle Loghain sighed. "You didn't deserve that."
"Neither did anyone else..." Cobian agreed.
"I can think of a few people who do," Uncle Loghain groused. "But you're soft. You don't wish that on Howe and his family at all, do you?"
Cobian blinked. "No. Why would I? They didn't hurt me, only Howe did."
Uncle Loghain softened. "You're too kind for your own good, but I'm glad you didn't lose that."
Cobian smiled. "I'm glad I didn't either."
He was glad Cailan went and spoke to Uncle Loghain first. Cobian had been scared to, just as he was scared to tell Fergus, whenever he arrived back from his scouting. It was his duty to break the news though, of how Cobian failed their parents, and Oriana. He had tried to save her and couldn't. Why couldn't he save her? He was supposed to be a monster in battle, but he couldn't protect her.
"Cobian. Take a deep breath." Cobian obeyed. His Uncle always helped. A hand settled itself at the back of his neck, grounding him. "That's it. Take your time."
"I don't know what to do."
"I doubt most of us do, Cobian. All we can do is try." Uncle Loghain said, his gaze somewhere a bit more distant.
Cobian nudged his arm, drawing him from his thoughts, or more like memories. "I've missed you."
"I've missed you too," he said gruffly. He was never really one for emotional reunions, and it made Cobian smiled fondly. "Cailan has been driving me crazy."
"Acting too bubbly? He did show you my research notes, yes? Very good for moral purposes-"
"The idiot wants to fight in the battle tonight," Uncle Loghain said dryly.
"Oh."
"Yes, I know. It's a foolish notion."
"No heir. Anora showed no signs of pregnancy and Cailan had yet to announce who would succeed the crown if he had passed and had no children. Foolish and far too dangerous." Cobian frowned. "Are he and Anora getting along alright?"
Uncle Loghain frowned. "What do you mean?"
Cobian hesitated, but the stern look he got in return got his tongue moving. "It's been five years, usually there is a child..."
"You've heard the rumours about Anora then." Loghain scowled.
"Howe liked to complain a lot... Said Cailan was stupid for not getting a better wife. Mother threatened to hit him for the disrespect to Cailan and Anora so he never brought it up again," Cobian muttered. "I know Cailan and Anora are friends, and they have told Fergus and I that they would do anything to protect Ferelden as their fathers have done." Loghain's lips twitched at that, an almost smile. "But they both know how vital an heir is. I'm more surprised that Anora let Cailan come down here without that security."
"It has been a difficult topic," Uncle Loghain admitted. "Especially with Eamon's prying and nagging."
"Ah, yes, he does nag quite often," Cobian agreed. "I heard him and Cailan have not been getting along recently."
Uncle Loghain scowled. "No. They haven't. Cailan and Eamon have been arguing more frequently, to the point he banished Eamon from court."
Cobian startled. "Banished?"
"Yes, rather unheard of from Cailan. He's usually has such an easy going nature, even Anora was surprised." Uncle Loghain stood up. "Don't worry about them. They are sending for a healer from the Circle of Magi, apparently they have three who specialise in the healing arts."
Cobian smiled. "Ah, that is good news."
"Yes, until then though I will just have to put up with Cailan's nonsense. I should toss him on a wagon back to Denerim."
"But you won't," Cobian laughed.
"I'd put you on it too."
"Until I outsmart the guards?"
Uncle Loghain groaned. "You'd probably talk their ears off and then they'd willingly let you go."
Cobian laughed. "I'd educate them."
"Into an early grave."
"Perhaps just until they are deaf."
"I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not."
A bark distracted him and both of them watched as Calenhad wandered over, panting softly. He laid down at their feet and rolled over, offering his stomach which Uncle Loghain snorted out.
"A fierce warrior indeed," Uncle Loghain remarked dryly but he reached down and rubbed Calenhad's belly anyway. Cobian couldn't help but smile at the sight, Calenhad's tail wagged away happily.
"Cobian, I can take you into my personal guard instead of you being forced into the Grey Wardens-" Loghain tried but Cobian shook his head.
"No. I'm going to be a Grey Warden. It was the last thing my father asked of me."
Uncle Loghain sighed. "You Couslands and your 'duty'. It drives the rest of us up the wall. Maric was always worried about you lot."
Cobian chuckled. "Only Uncle Maric?"
Uncle Loghain rolled his eyes. "Yes, Cailan and I as well. Your family would throw themselves off a cliff if it came to your 'duties'." He glanced down at Calenhad, who had his tongue hanging out his mouth, panting away. "You'll keep an eye on him, won't you, boy?"
Calenhad licked his palm in reply while Cobian debated how bad he must be at taking care of himself if his Uncle asked Calenhad to keep an eye on him instead.