Around 8:30 in the morning, they entered the palace with their gathered intelligence and approached Ayesha.
"High Priestess, we found her, we found the murderer and we're ready for a trial and a jury and a sentence and justice-" Loki reported very quickly, waving his arms around like an overexcited child!
"Slow down, Mr. Ouroboros!" Ayesha warned.
"Oh no, I couldn't possibly! There's so much to get prepared and so much information we found and I've got evidence and-"
"Sorry, we worked an all-nighter, and he's had a lot of caffeine!" Mobius explained.
"-and after questioning all the suspects including the Badoon butyou'dneverhavesuspectedthattheforeignerswereallinnocentthewholetimebecause-"
"Will you stop him before he explodes?" The High Priestess requested.
"Hold on." Mobius turned a switch on his time stick and tapped Loki with it on the back, slowing him down to 1/16th of his hyped-up speed. "There, slowed him down for ya."
"High Priestess, we bring you information on your killer, along with a witness from the night of the murder." Loki informed, still a smidge on the fast side.
"Very well, detectives."
Loki, Mobius, and Fandral led Ayesha, carried by her guards in her royal carriage, the Sovereign council, and Spadek's loved ones to Narceeni's home. Fandral knocked on her door, calling for her.
"Detectives? H-high Priestess?" She bowed. "What's all this?"
"You're suspected of murder, and we're here to prove it." Loki summarized.
"What? You think I murdered Spadek?"
"Miss Narceeni, you lived next door to Mr. Spadek, didn't you? And you told us that he would visit you occasionally to borrow ingredients for his new dishes, correct?"
"Yes, he would."
"Dishes like the Moordish crepes he was making two nights ago, before his death. If you'll follow me to the garden…" The group did as instructed. "We have evidence here that one of the key ingredients to his dish was harvested, as you can see. There's also a jagged rip in the plant right here from the struggle for his life."
"No, my… my hand just slipped when I was getting them ready. It was late: I was tired."
"Oh really? Getting them ready, were you?"
"Yes, just in case my neighbor visited me, but he, uh, didn't, so I decided to put them away…"
"Oh, but he did visit you that night, and this next bit of evidence proves it!" Loki argued, holding up a sealed see-through dish. "This is what Mr. Spadek had to eat two nights ago, recovered from his stomach. Luckily, you can still see a few angelica seeds, even though I'm really starting to wish I hadn't, before they would have been digested." Loki made a disgusted face, along with most of the onlookers. "As an expert chef, he would have no doubt wanted to taste his ingredients for freshness, and to make sure the flavor was right for his recipe. And how could he have tasted those seeds if he didn't visit you on the night of his murder?"
"He, um…" She sweated as the crowd murmured.
"Your witness, Mr. Paradox."
"Before our last piece of evidence, Miss Narceeni, could I ask you a favor?" Mobius held out two pieces of string. "Could you tie these together for me?"
"I don't see what that has to do with any evidence!"
"Oh, you will!" She sighed and reluctantly tied the string together. Mobius thanked her and held it up for all present to see. "This is the knot Miss Narceeni just tied for me. Now look at the knot on the rope that hung the victim: they're tied exactly the same way. I recall hearing from Spadek's other neighbor that each Sovereign ties their shoelaces differently, so it stands to reason that you'd have your own unique way of tying knots, or in your case, a noose. And it seems, by doing so, you've just figuratively tied your own noose as well. Now, do you have anything more to say for yourself before our witness testifies?"
"No, not that!" She tried to run, but Ayesha's guards blocked her path.
"Didn't think so. Alright Fandral: give us a brief summary of what happened between you the night before last."
"Well, we met earlier that afternoon at her neighbor's restaurant. While my friend Volstagg was stuffing his face, I wooed the fair lady, and she invited me over to her home to spend the night: we had a great time!"
"A private little rendezvous alone, right?" Fandral nodded, and gasps were heard all around them.
"You don't mean… a romantic affair, with an outsider?!" Ayesha asked incredulously.
"That's correct: they slept together" Loki affirmed.
"This is very serious: to kill a Sovereign is one matter, but for an outsider to defile her! Guards, we've found our criminal!" The Sovereign guards stepped away from Narceeni and began to move in on Fandral.
"What? No, she's the one who invited me over, moreover I did not 'defile' her! It was a date!"
"It all makes sense now: this foreigner must have kiiled our Spadek after he discovered his vile act and set up Narceeni here!" Ayesha turned to her. "This is correct?"
The defendant glanced in Fandral's direction, who gazed back pleadingly. "That's not-"
"Miss Narceeni?" The High Priestess pressed, passive-aggressively.
"Y-yes, yes, that's correct!"
"What?" Fandral recoiled.
"He made me take the seeds and tie the noose, and I… I didn't want him to get caught after…" She put her hands in her face and started weeping. "I'm sorry, Fandral!"
"Narci, what are you talking about?! That's not true, not in the slightest!"
"Thank you for bringing this murderer to justice, detectives." The High Priestess smiled at them emotionlessly.
"Hold on a moment: Fandral, this 'outsider,' as you call him, is telling the truth, and so are we!" Loki protested and stepped forward. "If you don't even believe our evidence, I can show you personally: I've seen it!"
"Show us? I don't think-" Loki teleported to Ayesha's side in a green flash and touched her forehead, showing her the scene just as he saw it. "There you have it, High Priestess. Forgive my being so forward, but I had to-"
"Enough!" She suddenly raised her voice. "Trying to cloud my judgement with witchcraft? I should prosecute the two of you along with this Fandral!" She huffed for a few seconds and regained her regal composure. "But, as a merciful, benevolent leader, I shall give you one final chance: admit this foreigner's murder and claim your reward, or continue along with his farce and face our wrath!"
"You- you can't be serious!"
"Stop lying! We want justice!" The detectives looked in shock as Spadek's mom shouted from the crowd. "You said you would make my son's killer pay, Mr. Ouroboros!"
"But- but Fandral's innocent! Just because she's Sovereign, you'll let her get away with murdering your boy?!"
"Stop lying!" She repeated.
"Ma'am, we're not lying, please! The priestess and Narceeni are lying! The evidence-" Mobius began, but she just kept repeating, the crowd soon joining her.
Loki cupped his hair in frustration. "Why?!"
"Retaliation, Mr. Ouroboros: you tarnish our reputation, we tarnish yours. You continue with these falsehoods, this… blasphemy, and the Sovereign will personally make sure that you never work on this planet, in this universe again! Everyone will know what kind of being you truly are. Now, who killed our Spadek, a splendid, beautiful Sovereign, or this vile, treacherous foreigner?"
"Well, I'm done for, he's going to rat me out for sure!" Fandral assumed. "Time to create another alias."
Loki and Mobius exchanged looks, and they both nodded and smirked. "Priestess, you may not know me very well, but I do know what it's like to have an unsavory reputation, and I don't welcome the idea of bringing it back. However, I've learned somewhat recently that how others view me doesn't define me, it's my choices, and I choose to stand by the facts! My testimony holds true, and my conviction stands: the Sovereign woman Narceeni murdered Spadek, not Fandral! Yes, he's a friend, but the evidence proves that he's innocent!"
"Then let it be known that these three men are criminals and enemies of our people!" Ayesha shouted. "Guards!"
Some of the guards redirected their guns at Loki and Mobius, but Loki held up his pointer finger condescendingly. "Oh, hold on, I'm not quite through: there are some more truths I've been meaning to convey to you, Ayesha, and the rest of you Sovereign people. You go ahead and fire on me if you'd like, just don't you dare touch us: you stuffy people are so fake, I fear you'll turn our skin green!"
Several gasps were heard from the local crowd, one woman fainted. The guards fired their guns at Loki, but he froze the blasts with his telekinesis. "Furthermore, Ayesha, my detective skills are not lacking by any means: you're merely such a shallow, conceited, oversensitive coward, that you believe your command over these weak-minded idiots makes you powerful. It doesn't." More gasps, followed by angry shouts, rang as Loki turned to his friend. "Anything you'd like to add, Mr. Paradox?"
"Yeah." Mobius added. "It's 1996! For cryin' out loud, what kind of backwater planet doesn't have Josta in this day and age?!"
"You are a dull pair of creatures to mock our perfect, golden race!" Ayesha snarled.
"You know, they say silence is golden: why don't you gold-plated chatter-bags try putting that one into practice?" Mobius countered.
"Why you insolent little-"
As the Sovereign got more irritated, the guards fired more shots, which were met with the previously suspended shots.
"Ah, one more thing: Mr. Zeeb, how do you say the phrase," Loki teleported to Zeeb and whispered something mischievous in his ear. "…in Jotun language?"
"Uh, 'Gekk hyrrag im vrumen.'"
"Tell your priestess and your neighbor that they can both 'gekk hyrrag im vrumen,' and please tell them what it means as well. Thank you." He teleported back to Mobius. "Fandral, ready yourself! We're done here!" Loki conjured a veil of smoke and opened a time door with his TemPad, so the trio escaped through it unseen. They stepped out onto another beautiful, golden world.
Loki looked around him, fondly smiling at the familiar surroundings. "Welcome home."
Fandral shook his head and grinned. "You surprised me, Loki. I thought for sure you'd go along with the crowd and let me take the blame! I've never known you to be so loyal, so honorable."
"Well, I'm happy to prove you wrong." Loki grinned.
"Now that sounds like the Loki I know!"
"Heh, and to be honest, it also served to help me blow off some steam I've been holding in for the past day! Those Sovereign are the most obnoxiously arrogant snobs I've ever met!"
"I know, that's why I was sure you'd get along so well, birds of a feather, and all that."
Loki's eyes narrowed, putting a finger to his TemPad. "Careful: I could easily send you back."
Fandral chuckled. "Now now, don't blow off any leftover steam my way! Anyway, I'm trying to say I appreciate what you did, sacrificing your reward and your reputation for me. Thank you."
Loki smiled. "You're welcome, Fanny! Ehehehehehe!"
"Well, that moment is ruined. It's unfortunate about your case: those people are more stubborn and arrogant than even your brother!"
"There's one thing we can agree on."
"The main thing is we found the real killer and called her out on it." Mobius summarized. "Whether they choose to believe us is up to them and how thick-headed they really are! But we've done all we can do, Loki: after all, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink!"
"Yes, well put."
"So, it's about time for us to head home too." Mobius stated. "Good luck with your next fling, lover boy! It'd probably be best not to tell Sif and the other members of the Warriors Three, or the other Asgardians about future Loki though, especially this timeline's Loki. But you should probably tell Odin what happened on your trip with the Sovereign, in case they find their way to Asgard someday. Not that they'd stand a chance on your turf. I dunno, maybe he could find a way to dispel any nasty rumors they spread? If anyone has the authority to, it'd be Odin!"
"I'll join you in a moment, Mobius: there's someone special I'd like to bring here to Asgard, and there's someone special I'd like to revisit as well."
Heads up readers, there's a Part 6 after this, since I wanted Loki, our main detective, to have a nice moment home on Asgard before his next case. In part 6, spoiler alert, he finally gets a heartwarming reunion with his mother, so stay tuned!