Mobius and Sylvie took a series of time doors, their first stop dated in the 1500s, until they found an orange warrior in Asgardian-like armor, his trusty axe in hand.

"Mobius, we meet again."

"Hey Bill, remember when you said you owed us one? Well, we've got a mission we need help with."

The horse-like warrior beat his chest with his fist in a salute. "Name it, and I will hear you out."

The trio took the next door to Asgard. "We're going to need the strongest Asgardian in history." Mobius said as they walked up to the palace guards. "Excuse us, we'd like an audience with the Allfather. It's a matter of the utmost importance."

"The Allfather is far too busy to deal with Midgardian matters."

"Even if they involve the wellbeing of his sons, and…" Mobius motioned to Sylvie. "…his long-lost daughter?"

The guards exchanged skeptical glances, and they looked at her, noticing her dark, golden crested armor. "She… looks like she could be an Odindottir."

"She is not mine." Allfather Odin bluntly stated after the group was allowed in. "Now, what's this, concerning my young sons?"

"There's a monster from hundreds of years in the future called Gorr, who's been butchering gods. He almost killed Loki, and he's targeting Thor next. We need your strength to save him!"

"The future?" Odin shook his head. "I have no time for this lunacy; get out of my sight!"

"He speaks the truth, your majesty. He and your younger son are time travelers who help people across the universe!" Beta Ray Bill defended. "I swear on it by Stormbreaker, my mighty axe you had crafted for me!"

"…yes, I remember, Bill. You are a noble spirit, but battles from other times are not mine to fight. I must remain here in my time, with my subjects."

"But they're not-"

"End of discussion." Odin cut Mobius off. "You may return to your future."

As they reached the outside, Mobius sighed. "So much for father of the year there. Well, there is at least one Asgardian we know who'll join us…" They travelled forward in time to 1996 and seeked out the dashing rogue in green.

"Oh, hello again, Loki's friend and girlfriend. What kind of quest is that mischievous scamp on today?" Fandral wondered.

"Loki and I are engaged now, actually, and we need your help to kill a god slayer from the future." Sylvie told him.

"He almost killed the Lokester, and he's after Thor now!" Mobius included.

"Pfft. 'The Lokester.'" Fandral peered at their horse-like ally "Please don't tell me this is yours and Loki's son from the future."

"I am Beta Ray Bill, champion of the Korbinites. This axe, that Odin kindly had forged for me, bestows upon me the powers of his son Thor."

"Really? I didn't realize Odin was taking requests. Anyhow, what about the me from your time?"

"He was killed years before our destination's present day." Mobius explained. "You're a very talented swordsman, right? Would you be too upset if we lit your sword on fire for this battle?"

"Come again?"

"Fire is the god butcher's kryptonite, but we'll need a lot of it! Or maybe Loki will let you use his?"

"'Kryptonite?' I don't follow."

"It's- his weakness. Are you in?"

Fandral shook Mobius's hand. "Anything for Asgard."

"This is a terrible idea." Sylvie griped as the growing team crept through the cold, lifeless realm of Niflheim, thousands of years in the future.

"I agree." Bill added. "These monsters are not to be trusted."

"Normally, I'd third that, but we need all the firepower we can get, and we don't have a lot of options. Fortunately, neither does she." Mobius explained as they reached the prison cell. "Fiamma? We have a deal for you, if you behave."

"And what would you want from me?" She mused.

"So, that's the daughter of the legendary Surtur?" Fandral asked.

"We need your power over flame to beat a scary god butcher from the- well, the past to you. If we win, we could put in a good word for you, let you out on parole with good behavior."

"Maybe. There is one other thing still: I want Loki." Fiamma stated.

"No deal. Loki isn't some sex object to bargain over!" Sylvie refused.

"Now now, I hadn't finished. I want to meet Loki, different Lokis across time. That shouldn't be a hard task for 'Time Detectives.' He's all I've been thinking about since our match, and seeing how fiercely you fought for him, I've, as Gnista might say, 'got the hots for him' more than ever. And since he and you are the same person too, he must be capable of the same level of ferocity and strength as you."

Sylvie winced. "How'd you know I was born a Loki?"

"Simple: when the Casket of Ancient Winters revealed your natural Jotun form, your markings were exactly the same as his, and even among the closest of kin, no two Frost Giants would have the exact same pattern, unless they're the same person. My sister may be the genius, but I'm not exactly slow myself. Now, of all the Lokis out there, there must be at least one who's interested in my proposition. If not, the parole will suffice: I won't force him to be my mate for life. Think of it as speed dating across time and space, only all of my potential partners have the same name and basic physical characteristics."

"Well… that's weird, but if it'll get you on board the team, it's fine by me." Mobius agreed. "Sylvie?"

"As long as you don't touch my Loki."

"Bill?"

"…I still do not trust her, especially not a child of the monster who destroyed my home. But, I am in your favor to fight by your side regardless, so it is up to you."

"Fandral?"

"Oh, yes, fine. I'm still weirded out, imagining her frolicking among a plethora of Lokis." He grimaced.

"Looks like it's as unanimous as it'll get." Mobius concluded, and Sylvie reluctantly teleported in and out Fiamma's cell. She opened one last time door before they all returned to the Null-Time Zone.

Back on Mount Olympus, Thor caught up with the newly-buffed blonde in black and grey armor and a grey winged helmet, carrying a visibly cracked Mjolnir, and the midnight in grey and red armor, armed with a double-edged sword and shield.

"Hercules, this is Jane Foster, my ex-girlfriend, and Lady Sif, my childhood friend and warrior-in-arms! Ladies, this is Hercules, the greek god of strength. Jane, you- you look good. You've been working out?"

She smiled. "I've… been fighting a battle of my own since we broke up, let's say that."

"And you fixed my hammer?!"

"And I fixed your hammer!" She cheerfully repeated. "It's good to see you again. It's been what, 3, 4 years!?"

"8 years, 7 months, 6 days, give or take."

"…really?"

Thor nodded, forcing a smile. "Indeed."

"Hey, should we get you two a room, or a whole planet?" Rocket teased.

"I am Groot."

"Oohohohoo, even better! Hahaha!"

"Oh, forgive me, Jane, these are my friends, the Guardians of the Galaxy. Rabbit and Tree are hilarious, the three of us are very close!"

Sif cleared her throat. "Anyway, we've joined forces to aid you when the god butcher arrives. We heard he's on Earth, but we know not where."

"Great, that makes four of us!" Thor exclaimed.

"Hey, I'm still technically a god, or demigod, maybe." Starlord whined.

"I know, should give ourselves a new team nickname! What do you think about The Thunder Strikers?"

Jane shook her head. "I don't think so."

"The Thor Four!"

"Terrible." Nebula seconded.

"It sounds ridiculous. Is it supposed to?" Drax wondered.

"The God Squad?"

"It sounds like a crappy parody of a children's TV series!" Rocket remarked.

"I am Groot." Groot added.

"Fine, we'll decide on a name later. For now…" Thor was cut off as a dark blade zoomed toward his head, and he blocked it with his axe. "For now… we do battle."

Gorr retracted his Necrosword. "Hercules: god of strength, Sif, goddess of war, and Thor: god of thunder. At last, the final remaining member of the vile Asgardian royal family shall die."

"I'll give you once chance to surrender before the last son of Odin kicks your ass!"

"There it is: the arrogance that so many of your kind possess. Thor, slayer of trolls, giants, dark elves, and whatever species that happens to disagree with your corrupt realm's ideals. You are just as cruel and arrogant as your father was: I only wish I could have given him the same manner of slow, painful death as I'm about to give you."

"Odin may not have been perfect, but he became a wise and just ruler and father."

"He was a vicious, merciless, hypocritical tyrant who took what he wanted and hid his evil actions behind tales of so-called glory self-serving heroics, turning the blame for his exposed sins on others. He betrayed his first wife for another, he raised his children to be just as cruel and violent as he was, and he punished them horribly, while he himself escaped any penalty for his own sins. Of course, that doesn't excuse any of his offspring: they all are and were murderous hypocrites."

"Big talk coming from the freak show who's been on an evil killing spree!" Starlord butted in.

"You're wrong." Thor pointed out. "My father, my whole family, helped me learn the lessons I needed to become the man who I am today. I was brash, reckless, I went looking for war and rulership and the glory of battle, though now I am a peaceful man. But, if you harm any of my friends, I will not be able to remain so, and I will do everything in my power to stop you."

"Everything in your power. Your friend has a point. The time for talking is through." Gorr's sword speedily darted at Thor, who countered by throwing Stormbreaker. The two blades collided, and it seemed a stalemate until Stormbreaker was slowly pushed back, but Mjolnir came rushing from Jane's hand to push it forward. Little by little, the combined weaopns of Uru pushed All-Black back into Gorr's hand. He fired a series of black Necroswords at Thor, Jane, Sif, and Hercules, who each countered the barrage with their own weapons. Jane rapidly twirled Mjolnir and propelled herself towards their attacker, while the hammer deflected the oncoming blades.

"Jane!" Thor called to her. His eyes shone a bright electric blue as lightning erupted from him, and he flew behind her to back her up with Stormbreaker. Jane swung at Gorr, but he ducked. The villain aimed his sword at her, but she raised Mjolnir to the sky, striking him with an enormous lightning bolt! Thor added a lightning blast of his own to the attack, and Gorr was knocked off his feet. He shook off the shock as he stood up, and he ascended into the sky as Sif and Hercules came at him with their swords from either side.

"I didn't expect there to be two gods of thunder…" Gorr thought. "I'll have to even the odds a bit more." He shot a mass of dark energy at Jane, who attempted to deflect it with Mjolnir, but the darkness instead began to envelop her hammer, spreading like a plague while lifting her higher into the air. She struggled as desperately as she could, but the mass soon started digging at her hand, painfully prying it open to loosen her grip. Thor flew towards her, ready to cut away the dark mold, when a sharp tendril sprung from the outside, piercing through Thor's dominant arm. Gorr then changed its form into that of an axe as well, and Thor shouted painfully as his severed arm fell to the ground, along with its axe of Uru.

"Thor!" His friends cried out, worried as Thor summoned Stormbreaker with his remaining hand. As Thor landed, Hercules threw Sif, at her request, up to help Jane. Hercules stood at Thor's side, and the two muscular heroes bounded at Gorr. However, the all-powerful butcher summoned more black appendages to ensnare the deific duo. Sif sliced away at the prison around Jane, but the part of it encasing Mjolnir detached and fell to the ground at a breakneck pace.

Jane reached out, trying to summon the hammer back, but the otherworldly black goop held it in place as it continued to fall. As Sif aimed her own trajectory of descension for the legendary hammer, the lightning aura around Jane scattered, and her appearance changed from her long, blonde hair and Asgardian attire to a bald head and casual American clothing.

"JANE!" As his hammerless ex began to fall, Thor summoned as much strength and lightning as he had inside, breaking free of the material that bound him, and rushed to catch her. "Jane, are you alright?"

"Don't worry about me: I just need to get your hammer back."

Thor glared at Gorr as he descended to the spot on the ground where Mjolnir landed. "Don't even try it: only those who are worthy can lift Mjolnir!" Thor reprimanded.

"Worthy? Worthy in the jaded eye of the hypocrite king of the gods, who forged your weapon of terror and mass destruction? That inflated, delusional sense of 'worthiness…' is not one I wish to possess, nor is the instrument. I only need to keep you from using it again before I butcher you all."

Gorr shot more dark matter at Stormbreaker, but Hercules held it open with his bare hands as Thor whistled his signal. Then he and Sif went on the offensive, Thor shooting lightning blasts from a distance while Sif moved in close with her sword as her shield blocked oncoming beams from All-Black. As the three warriors clashed with All-Black's onslaught of darkness, Gorr himself rapidly closed in on Hercules, about to run him through with his sword, until Gorr was trampled by one of Thor's huge goats, while the other chewed away at the dark bindings around the greek hero. The first goat then chomped away the black containment around Mjolnir, and Jane wasted no time summoning it back to her hand, regaining her thunderous powers in a flash!

Thor grinned at the scene cheerfully. "They are good boys."