Deep in the realm of the dead, a solitary man with jet black hair under a golden helmet watched over his kingdom, filled with tormented souls and terrifying monsters. He turned as something caught his attention, something he didn't receive all too often: a willing guest.
"Well well well, I didn't expect to see you back here so soon. Don't tell me you plan to have the child down here?" Hades remarked as Atlantean Loki approached him, dismounting his riding narwhal. "I mean, not that the moaning and screaming wouldn't fit in here, but I doubt the rest of your family would choose such a scenic location."
"No, Uncle Hades, I require your help once more."
"What is it this time? I abducted Kore to land you the role of dashing hero and get you into that orgy like you wanted."
"I know, but now Father's after the mother of my child: he knows the mother is one of Zeus's daughters, and when he finds out, he undoubtedly plans to take her for himself as well! I have a plan to stop him, but it involves your assistance!"
"Well, you could kill her, and then I would get custody of her, and my little brother would be unable to lay one wet, wrinkly finger on her, but something tells me that's not what you have in mind…"
Loki shook his head. "First and foremost, I need to know who the would-be mother is, and there are three ladies in particular that might tell me with some persuasion."
"Ah, you want me to take you down to the Fates. And after that, what?"
"Well, that part mostly depends on who she turns out to be." Suddenly, a great hound with three heads came charging at Loki, knocking him over and pinning him down. "Whoa, Cerberus, ehehe, I'm delighted to see you too!" Loki giggled as his face was licked by three large tongues at once. He petted each of their heads and tossed them a bone before his uncle spoke again.
"But you're sure she's one of Zeus's daughters?"
"I'm sure. I'm really hoping it's Eris: she's the one I love!"
"Really, you're sure the goddess of chaos is your favorite?"
"Uncle Hades, she's not as horrible as all the stories make her out to be, she's more playfully mischievous, like me! You of all the gods should understand! I finally found someone special, someone who's not only ravishingly lovely, but with whom I can have deep, meaningful conversations, someone who shares my love of mischief, someone who truly understands me! I want her to be with me, and only me, while we raise our own family together!"
"Oh, you've got it bad alright, Nephy. Come on then, the Fates are this way." Hades led his adopted nephew down into the deepest, darkest part of the underworld until all that was visible was the glimmer of a mystical spindle and the gaze of a single eyeball. The young Jotun-Atlantean attempted to cast a magical light to illuminate their path, but his uncle stopped him. "No no no, they prefer it in the dark, say it causes fewer distractions from their visions."
"Hades, king of the underworld, and Loki, prince of Atlantis, approach…" A lady's voice beckoned them.
"Greetings ladies, I have a favor to ask of you." Loki told them.
"We know what you seek-" Another elderly lady cut him off.
"You wish to know the identity of the woman who impregnated you, who is to be your mate for life, and what to do to keep the Atlantean king at bay, should he desire her." The third plainly stated.
"Yes, yes, and absolutely yes! Could you please tell me?"
"Why should we?" Clotho questioned.
"We do not offer our services so easily-" Lachesis assured him.
"But perhaps we could be persuaded-" Atropos hinted.
"If you sing for us!" The trio demanded in unison.
"Are you certain that's what you want? I should warn you, my singing voice has an uncontrollable narcoleptic effect on whomever hears it."
"We know-"
"We are immune to the sleep-inducing power of the songs of the sirens-"
"Do you think we are short-sighted enough to ask such a thing without knowing the consequences?"
Loki smiled. "Well, it is rather nice having an audience who can't fall asleep on me. Very well then, ladies, any requests?"
"Something old-"
"Something current-"
"Something new-"
"Ehe, why don't you just follow my lead?"
Hades blocked his ears as Loki began a haunting melody, while the Fates joined in with him on the chorus. When they finished, Loki signaled his uncle the song was over as the sisters unraveled the current course of his destiny.
"I see your baby… his birth will come upon you suddenly, without any problems." Clotho relayed.
"His… I'll have a son!" Loki joyfully exclaimed.
"The woman you desire shall be at your side very soon… and the mother…" Lachesis examined her sister's cloth with her measuring rod, and she showed the woven images to Loki, who gasped.
"She is…?"
"She is. As for your father…"
Loki quickly raised a hand. "I know what I must do now. Thank you. Oh, uhm, do those detectives know?"
"Not yet, but one way or another, they will find out-"
"They will help you-"
"And help her also-"
"And you will be reunited!"
Back on Olympus, the Time Detectives spoke with the gorgeous Aphrodite, distracting her while Healer stealthily took a DNA sample from inside her. Loki and Sylvie stayed by each other's side, not keen on the daughter of Zeus's seductions. Unfortunately, her results compared to the unborn baby's came up negative, and they courteously moved on to the next sister.
"Ah, Hebe, how delightful to see you again." Loki charmed the other blonde woman as Healer attached to her.
"Loki, the orgy was fun and all, for one night, but we can't keep seeing each other! You know I'm promised to Hercules!"
"Ah, yes, your brother…"
"Half-brother. And intermarriage is only a problem for mortals: you know how deficient their genes our compared to ours?"
"I suppose. Honestly, I'd rather jump into an active volcano than marry my brother, and we're not even related by blood!"
"But you grew up with your brothers; I didn't grow up with Hercules. Besides, we're gods: we do what we want."
"And who you want, apparently."
"What was that?"
"I said congratulations."
"Negative." Loki sighed as Healer's piece returned to him.
"Well, if you'll excuse us, we'll be on our way now."
As they left her, Loki became thoughtful. "Healer, it just occurred to me that among Demeter and Kore, goddesses of fertility, and Hebe, goddess of child-bearing, either one of them might be able help you with your… little problem." Loki telepathically suggested to his Symbiote.
"Do not patronize me! I do not want their help or them knowing about such a thing! You promised you would tell no one!"
"I won't tell anyone else, but they can't help you if they don't know the situation. Don't you think it's worth the risk?"
"NO! I would be humiliated!"
Loki shrugged. "Alright, suit yourself. I just thought you might enjoy having a little Symbiote to care for, a family of your own, so you'd be a little less lonely."
"Rrrrr, I am not lonely. NOT lonely! I do not need a small, helpless, clingy baby blob, following us around like a lost puppy! I have you, and that is all the family I require!"
Loki raised an eyebrow. "Fine, sorry I asked."
"I forgive you, just do not ask again."
"Believe me, if you're going to figuratively bite my head off like this, I shan't."
As they found the next sister, they gulped. They found Erida soaring through the clouds below in a dragon-like form, moving too fast for Healer to attach to her.
"She doesn't bear much of the family resemblance, does she?" Sylvie remarked.
"She can change form." Loki responded. "She's the goddess of hatred, so she appears to enjoy tormenting her enemies in this form while taking on a fairer appearance for lovers."
"Well, why don't we give her some familiar company?" Sylvie brought Frelsir, her own red dragon, to their time and location, and the four rode his back until they reached Erida.
"Hello again, Erida? What's your hurry?" Loki called to her as he attempted to get close enough for Healer to latch onto her. She answered with a stream of fire from her mouth, which Frelsir instinctively ducked.
"Yeah, I figured she wasn't the forgiving type." Mobius commented.
Loki then had an idea. "Sylvie, could you instruct Frelsir to not dodge the next blast?"
"Why, did you bring marshmallows?" She sarcastically quipped.
"Just trust me: I can reach her if we try this!" He called out to Erida once more. "I'm sorry about Kore, but Eris always was my favorite!"
Erida breathed another stream of fire at him, and he quickly froze it with his Jotun powers, his ice reaching to her mouth, and he had Healer travel along the frozen flame into her throat, where he collected his DNA sample.
"She is… not it!"
Healer quickly returned to his host, and the detectives escaped before her next blast of fire thawed the ice that muzzled her.
"So, that's four down, two to go." Loki counted, unaware of the figure that loomed over them, until…
"Keeping score, are you boy?" A golden-armored man with dark hair and a gray beard asked. "You are my older brother's son, alright: I have servants who keep the count for me."
"Mighty Zeus, greetings. Might I ask where your daughter Eris is presently?"
"Eris!" Zeus repeated, half surprised and half amused. "You are a bold boy: no one comes calling for Eris! In fact, most of us do not even call her 'Eris': we call her Discord."
"Oh, but we have plans to make beautiful mischief together." Loki hinted. "Could you tell me where she is, please?"
"Oh, you want to make mischief, do you?" He stroked his beard. "I should give you some sort of crucible to test you, see if you are worthy of her, but then again, you don't have much competition."
"Ahhh, then perhaps you could direct me to one of your most popular daughters in addition, say, Helen?"
"Oh yes, Helen is all the rage right now, especially among the mortals! You go down to court her, and those poor, pathetic humans won't stand a chance! I don't know Eris's location, however: I like to give her freedom to go as she pleases, and I don't want to be involved in the trouble she causes, but Helen is presently in Sparta."
"Of course. Well, thank you."
"Gladly. You impressed me at the orgy: you were the first non-Olympian to ever beat me at my game of 'Lock Up Your Daughters!'" He smiled at Sylvie. "And it seems you have a little bun in a different oven, no?"
"Ehehehe, you noticed that, did you?"
Zeus grinned. "That's nice. Tell you what, nephew: in a few years, I'll host another glorious orgy, and I can play opposite 'Lock Up Your Daughters' with yours!"
Loki and Sylvie grimaced. "I… I think we'd best be on our way! Farewell!" The group hurried away as Zeus laughed.
"You know, I think I prefer the Zeus from that… Dizzy film that Røskva showed us to the real thing!" Loki remarked. "And I enjoyed their interpretation of Maui as well. He in particular felt so relatable."
Mobius agreed. "You mean 'Disney,' and yeah, they made Zeus a lot tamer, more kid-friendly. But hey, at least he didn't raise you in this universe!"
"He did ask Thor to check on his son Hercules when Gorr began his butchering spree, at least, and he didn't turn out so bad. And he raises some impressive goats as well! Anyways, let's go find the last two daughters!"
The detectives returned to Earth through the secret passage from Olympus. They found Helen in Sparta as Zeus said, as another contest was prepared to be held, the winner to claim her hand in marriage. As the detectives attempted to approach her, they were blocked by her bodyguards, tasked with protecting her from the thirstier suitors. No one noticed a piece of Healer that snuck past them all to compare her DNA, so all his host had to do was wait for the sample to be inconspicuously retrieved.
"Another negative!"
"Well, it seems chaos and mischief have bred after all." Loki deduced. "Should we pay his mistress a visit, ask her some questions?"
"Do we need to?" Sylvie asked. "She's the only daughter of Zeus left, so we know she's the mother."
"Yes, but we don't have the details, or any evidence yet. It would help if Healer took a DNA sample for us to present as proof, and I should look in her mind for any clues."
"Sure, as long as that's all you're going to look in." Sylvie teased.
"Oh cease your mockery!"
Mobius put a hand to his chin. "Yeah, you know, you love Sylvie, the kid you is dating Røskva, and now this Loki wants to be with Eris: I'm starting to think that Lokis have a thing for blondes!"
"Mobius, there are countless versions of me, more than we could ever count in our lifetimes; I hardly think three examples is an accurate indicator for all of our love lives."
"Yeah, but from how your main counterpart's life usually plays out, I think it's safe to say that most of you either end up alone or dead, or more often both." Loki's face went grim before Mobius continued. "But you're right: there are countless versions of your life story we have yet to see and explore. Thanks for ruining my joke though."
"Anyway, back to finding Eris: shall we follow the trail of chaos?"
"We could. Or we could just ask Heimdall where she is: he would still be working for Odin at this time."
Loki groaned. "That's no fun, that's what we did last case! We can find her ourselves, it's part of our job!"
Mobius sighed. "Always gotta do things the hard way."
"It beats doing things the boring way."
"Fine then. Let's follow the trail of chaos!"
Sylvie smiled. "Better yet, let's create our own!"