HEY GUYS HERES THE LAST CHAPTER UNTIL SUNDAY. THIS CHAPTER FEATURES A FAMILIAR CHARACTER I'M SURE YOU ALL MISS AS MUCH AS I DO. THIS TAKES PLACE IN BOTH LIMBO AND REALITY SO PAY ATTENTION TO THE TRANSITION. ENJOY AND REVIEWS ARE WELCOME.
TRIGGER WARNING: THIS CHAPTER THEMES OF SEXUAL ASSAULT
Chapter 17: If I Stay
SCENE: O.R. 3
(Amber opens her eyes gasping for air waiting to feel pain but is surprised to find that she doesn't. She looks around and finds herself inside an empty O.R. She sits up from the surgical table confused by what's happening and see's that instead of casual wear she has her scrubs on. She gets off the table and gingerly walks out of the O.R. and finds herself in the empty hallway of the surgical floor)
Amber: Hello! Is anybody here?!
(Amber waits for a response but doesn't get anything. She runs to the nurse's station where it's empty as well)
Amber: (Frustrated) Okay if this is some kind of joke, I will punch the person who comes out saying you got punked!
George: Wow you really are Evil Spawn's sister, aren't you?
(Amber screams at the sudden noise and turns around to find George O'Malley behind her in navy scrubs looking at her amused)
Amber: Who the hell are you? Where am I? Where is everybody?
George: Oh uh…where do I start?
Amber: (Cautious) You can start with your name and what you're doing here.
George: Okay sounds like a good start um my name is George O'Malley and the reason I'm here is to help you get out of here.
Amber: I don't know you.
George: No that's true you don't but I knew your brother, Alex I was uh…I guess you could say we were friends slash enemies or frenemies as you kids call it. (Chuckles)
Amber: I know all of my brothers' friends and enemies and again I don't know you so if you don't tell me what is going on I will…
(Amber stops as she recognizes the name and her eyes widen in shock as he grins solemnly at her realization)
Amber: (Swallows) Heart in an elevator?
George: That's me, your brother was there but he froze and I took over. I felt you should know and make fun of him for that if you wake up.
Amber: (Shaky breath) 007?
George: (Chuckles) You screw up one appy your first day and your christened that for life and apparently death.
Amber: Didn't my brother give you syphilis?
George: (Grins falls) Well uh I slept with someone he slept with so he only gave it to me through her not like-
Amber: (Freaking out) Y-Your dead.
George: Wow way to kick me to the curb.
Amber: (Shuddering breath) You can't be here you were hit by a bus you died.
George: Yes, I know I was there it was painful.
Amber: (Breathing heavily) This isn't real I'm dreaming this is a dream.
George: Yeah, no not really this is definitely not a dream.
Amber: (Swallows) What is this? How are you here?
George: Okay I could tell you but I don't want you to freak out more so…tell me the last thing you remember.
Amber: Um…I was in the parking lot I was upset because Andrew left after I confessed my love for him. I was driving home and…
George: And what?
Amber: …And I was hit by a truck…did I die?
George: No, you didn't but you are dying out there in the real world and this place right here…this is where I was when I was dying.
(Amber looks at George in shock trying to keep a steady breath)
CUT TO REALITY
SCENE: O.R. 3
(Teddy gowns up as Link does compression while Owen examines the injured left leg. Andrew stands by frozen in shock and terror for Amber's life as her vitals continues dropping despite being intubated)
Owen: It looks like a closed tibia fracture we won't know more until we get an X-ray.
Link: (Keeps doing compressions) I'll set it later right now we need to get a heartbeat, Altman?
Teddy: I need to slice her left side so I can find the bleed stop compressions.
(Link stops compressions and Teddy puts Amber on her side. She cuts Amber's left side open)
Teddy: Surgical scissors. Owen once I'm in I need you on suction and throw in some towels.
Andrew: (Sniffles and pulls his hair back in stress) Is she dead?
Owen: No, we're gonna bring her back where the hell is that blood?!
(Levi enters the room with five units of B positive shocked by what he's seeing)
Owen: DeLuca hang a unit.
(Andrew snaps out of it and hangs a unit for Amber while Levi processes what's happening)
Levi: (Softly) Oh my god… (Normal) Oh my god! Do Alex and Jo know?
Andrew: (Checks monitor) Heartbeat is still flat, Alex knows I don't know about Jo.
Levi: Andrew we-we-we can't lose her.
Teddy: We won't lose her I need to expose the heart and find the bleed. Okay I'm in rib spreader.
(Teddy puts the rib spreader in and separates Amber's ribs to expose the heart to Levi's horror)
Levi: (Horrified) Oh my god.
Owen: I'm suctioning the clots; selective intubation looks good. Schmitt get in here and help.
Levi: (Breathing shakes) No I can't, I can't-
Khan: (Comes inside) Dr. Schmitt do you still need that chart for-
(Khan notices Amber on the table)
Khan: Is-Is that-
Levi: Dr. Khan is a vascular surgeon he can help I would just…get in the way.
Owen: Okay, Khan scrub in and help us find the bleed.
(Khan quickly goes to scrub)
Levi: I uh I-I need to tell Jo she would want to know.
Teddy: (Tries to find the bleed) Fine as long as it gets you out of the way and allows us to focus go!
(Levi leaves the O.R. and runs down the hall)
TRANSITION TO LIMBO
(Amber looks at George confused in the middle of the nurse's station)
Amber: What do you mean I'm dying?
George: You were hit with a shard of glass when that truck hit your car it penetrated your chest and Dr. Altman and Dr. Hunt are trying to stop the bleeding and bring you back.
Amber: Is this heaven?
George: No.
Amber: Is this hell?
George: No, it's neither of those places it's…it's where the spirits go when their bodies give out it's…it's like an in-between.
Amber: Oh my god.
George: I know it was a shock to me too, believe me. Although when I was here, I met Denny and Doc. Doc was our dog but he died before me.
Amber: M-My car is it okay?
George: I think you've got bigger problems than your car right now.
Amber: Well, you don't know what that car means to me.
George: True but I know what's going on out there in the real world as we speak specifically what's happening to you.
Amber: (Desperate for answers) What is it? Is it bad? Is it an arrhythmia? Or a coronary artery laceration? Did the glass hit my heart or any of the ventricles?
George: As far as I know the glass did rupture your heart and they're trying to find the bleed. It's a big mess.
Amber: …I-I have to go.
George: Okay we're getting somewhere the way you do that is-
Amber: Where is the exit I'm getting the hell out.
George: Okay we took a step back, there is no exit here see what-
Amber: (Sees door marked exit) There it is. I hate to interrupt you but I got a life to get back to. It was nice meeting you and if you run into Alan Rickman tell him I said hi and always. Later!
(George shakes his head not stopping Amber from bursting through the door)
CUT TO O.R. 3
(Amber wakes up again and finds herself in the empty room again lying on the table again)
Amber: (Confused) What the fuck?
TRASITION TO REALITY
SCENE: ICU
(Jo and Hayes talk Val through Luna's surgery)
Hayes: It's a small piece of abnormal lung growth that I need to remove so she can breathe normally.
Val: (Bitter) And then it'll be my turn for another surgery. And then hers. And then maybe I'll go twice so you keep me guessing.
Jo: I know it sounds scary, but Dr. Hayes has done this surgery countless times.
Val: Has anyone even held her since she was born?
Hayes: Well, she has to stay in the incubator for her own safety, I'm afraid.
Val: That's not right. She is helpless, and she is scared. Babies aren't supposed to live in a plastic container.
Jo: You're right, Val. You're right. You need to see her. It's not right that you haven't.
Hayes: (Stern) Karev.
Jo: I'll bring her to you before she goes into surgery.
Val: (Voice breaking) Thank you. Thank you so much.
(Jo leaves with Hayes following her)
Hayes: Karev you cannot make promises to patients you know we can't keep.
Jo: Who says we can't keep it?
Hayes: It's already a big risk moving Luna to the surgical floor to bring her to the ICU will add that tenfold. I think your husband would agree as well.
(Levi enters the ICU still shocked and gingerly approaches Jo)
Jo: Trust me he wouldn't and all I am asking is that Val gets one chance to meet her daughter properly before we cut them both open and have their lives on the line. Wouldn't you want that if it was your kids?
Levi: (Barely steady voice) Jo we need to talk.
Jo: I'm busy, look I am asking you to do this one thing for this poor woman who has wanted a baby her whole life and life decided to crap all over her dreams.
Hayes: I sympathize with Val; her situation is tragic but we can't risk Luna getting sick on top of everything else.
Levi: Jo-
Jo: In a minute. If you don't want to sign on it fine, I'll just get the chief and we'll see what she thinks.
Hayes: She'll say the same thing I am telling you no.
Jo: We're already moving her, it's just one more stop. Can't we give Val one break from all the crap that has engulfed their lives?
Levi: Jo!
Jo: (Turns around to glare at Levi) What?!
Levi: (Voice breaking) Something has happened to Amber.
(Jo's angry glare fades as it forms shock and worry)
CUT TO THE SURGICAL WAITING AREA
(Jo and Levi run out and find Andrew sitting in a chair leaning his head against his hand)
Jo: (Worried) What's happening? Is she stable?
Andrew: (Tears in his eyes) I…I don't know I-I left after Schmitt I just…I just couldn't be in there and see her…
Jo: (Swallows) How bad is it?
Andrew: (Voice breaking) It's bad.
(Jo sits down and sobs Levi puts a comforting hand on her shoulder crying as well)
Jo: (Sniffles and composes herself) Where's Alex? Does he know?
Andrew: Yeah, he was there when they brought her in, I don't know where he is though.
Jo: (Knows Alex) I think I know where. Update us when you can, we'll be in the chapel.
(Jo walks away from them. Levi's breathing grows shallow and he sits down. Andrew notices his breathing getting dangerously shallow)
Andrew: In and out, breathe slowly. In and out.
Levi: (Manages after a few moments) I'm sorry, I-I'm sorry it's just…
Andrew: (Nods knowingly) I know me too.
Levi: (Cries and voice breaking) She's my best friend, she's my person.
Andrew: (Sniffles and cries again) …Mine too.
(Levi and Andrew sit there in tense silence crying and worrying about Amber)
CUT TO O.R. 3
(Teddy and Owen try to find the bleed as Khan suctions and Link pulls the lung back to get view)
Teddy: How long has she been down?
Link: About 5 minutes. What are the chances she gets brain damage? That happens when your under for four minutes.
Teddy: 4 to 6 minutes so let's hurry up. I think I've found it right ventricle.
Khan: I can't see anything.
Teddy: It's a sea of blood in here.
Owen: Up her volume.
Anesthesiologist: I'm getting it as fast as I can.
Teddy: I got it! Cross your fingers and your toes.
(Teddy puts her finger in the heart hole and after a moment the flatline beeps as Amber's heartrate returns)
Teddy: (Smiles) Okay we have blood pressure 80/50.
Link: Sat's are coming up; I'd clap but I have a lung in my hands. Can you patch the hole?
Teddy: I can but Owen, I need you to put your finger in it while I do that. Can you handle it?
Owen: If it means saving Karev's little sister yes, Khan move.
(Khan moves and Owen stands in front of Amber's open side)
Teddy: Okay Link you keep holding back the lung, Khan you suction and on my count Owen I'll remove my finger and you put it in the hole. Are we ready?
(They all nod)
Teddy: Three two one!
(They all do as their told with Amber still stable)
Teddy: So far so good, keep steady pressure on that hole. If you enlarge that hole, it becomes too big to fix. If you move-
Owen: (Clipped tone) I know she dies, get to work.
Teddy: (Hurt but continues) Okay 4-0 prolene. Let's get this girl home safe.
(Teddy gets to work stitching up the patch)
TRANSITION TO LIMBO
(Amber yells out frustrated as she wakes up on the O.R. table again. She huffs and gets out of the room to find George still there sitting at the nurse's station practicing sutures on a banana)
George: (Unbothered by Amber's glare) You know there was this one time the nurses banded together and protested for more respect and pay. I was scared to get past the riot to get to work, my dad was a truck driver and mom is a teacher. I thought showing disrespect for the working class would get me disowned by them.
Amber: (Angry) Why am I still here?! I have tried to get out of this damn floor 59-
George: 64.
Amber: 64 times and I am still here talking to some dead guy my brother knew as an intern why?!
George: Well, if you would sit still long enough and listen to what I am telling you, you would find out.
Amber: (Doesn't want to hear it) I can't be here; I have a job, I have a family, I have a life to get back to. I-I have a guy out there, a great guy who I professed my love for and he might just reciprocate them. I have a niece and nephew I want to hold and watch movies with and talk about sex with when they can't ask their parents. I cannot be here!
George: I know you don't and I thought this was gonna be easy but I should've expected more from someone sharing Karev's genes.
Amber: How long have I been here? hours? days?
George: Five minutes.
Amber: (Eyes wide) …What?
George: (Continues suturing) Time works differently here. Your year here could be a day out there, I try not to question it.
Amber: You didn't get out so what makes you think I can?
George: Your stronger than me that's for sure and…I would've stayed if I could have. It's different for everyone though, sometimes it takes pure willpower, other times it takes a challenge to get to the other side.
Amber: Wh-What is this whole challenge I need to do to wake up? What?!
George: I'm glad you asked.
(George stands up and puts the banana down)
George: Follow me.
(George and Amber walks toward an O.R. door that George enters first and Amber follows. She finds herself inside the O.R. gowned up with a woman on the table. She doesn't recognize the woman as her face is massively bruised. George is in front of her on the other side of the table gowned up as well)
Amber: What is this?
George: Your challenge. We have a 20-year-old female who was the victim of a hit and run. The driver drove at full speed and hit her. Blunt force trauma to the pelvis and abdomen, there are contusions on the liver and kidney but she has fluid surrounding the pericardial sac.
Amber: She needs the fluid to be drained out, who's the cardio surgeon?
George: You are.
Amber: (Confused) W-What?
George: It's your surgery, you're the one doing the cutting.
Amber: (Shocked) I'm sorry what?
George: You said you wanted to get out of here and get back to the real world. This patient needs a subxiphoid pericardial window, have you done that?
Amber: I-I-I've seen Pierce and Altman do it but I can't-
George: Huh that's not a surprise I think you're around the same age Alex was when he backed out of a surgery after talking himself big. I mean what else do you expect? Cowardice kind of runs in your family huh.
Amber: (Looks at him offended but realizes) You're trying to reverse psychology mumbo jumbo me, aren't you?
George: (Shrugs) Maybe…is it working?
Amber: (Inhales and exhales deeply) Ten blade.
(George grins at her and gives her the blade. Amber takes a deep breathe before cutting the chest)
TRANSITION TO REALITY
SCENE: HOSPITAL CHAPEL
(Alex tries to light a candle but fails as every time he tries to light a match it backfires to his frustration. His phone rings and he see's the caller ID is Izzie)
Alex: What?
Izzie: Hey I wanted to talk to you about the job, did you talk to Bailey yet?
Alex: (Preoccupied) No I didn't.
Izzie: What? You said-
Alex: Yeah I know I said but Amber-
Izzie: (Groans) Amber of course she's the one stopping me from moving and having a job.
Alex: (Angry) Izzie-
(Jo walks inside and finds Alex)
Izzie: No after that stunt she pulled when she was here, I don't want to hear you defending that manipulative bitch again okay? I thought this family took precedence but-
Alex: (Angry) Amber is in an O.R. right now fighting for her damn life while you insult her. I'm sorry if worrying about my sister making it out of this alive take's precedence over your basic bitch needs. Don't call me again!
(Alex hangs up and tries to light a candle again but burns his finger with the match)
Alex: Damn it!
Jo: (Approaches Alex) Hey, hey, hey I got it okay, I got it.
(Jo takes the matches from Alex and calmly lights a candle)
Alex: I wanted to tell you it's just-
Jo: It's okay I know now and I am here, okay? I am right here.
Alex: (Sniffles) Any word?
Jo: No not yet, they're still working.
Alex: How did you know I would be in here?
Jo: …When April and Jackson lost their baby you came in here to light a candle for them. I thought if he could do that for his friends, he would do it for his sister too.
(Alex tears up and sits down with Jo next to him)
Jo: Shh just breathe, okay?
Alex: (Tears up and sniffles) …I almost aborted her.
Jo: What?
Alex: (Sighs) When my mom told me she was pregnant I was angry. I was angry because it meant in spite of all the odds I would raise another kid, I would be the mom and dad again. I didn't want to do that again; I didn't want to be a dad at 12. I…I walked her to the clinic and…
Jo: You tried to talk her into ending the pregnancy.
Alex: (Nods) Yeah.
Jo: (Holds his hand) And every time you looked at your sister's beautiful face you felt guilty.
Alex: (Mad at himself) It's just…when we got to the clinic she wouldn't go inside and I yelled at her. I told her to stop being selfish and to not saddle me with another kid that I deserved better than that. I yelled at my pregnant mother and I just…do you think this is a punishment? Do you think me getting to know and love my baby sister is my penance for what I almost did? Do…Do you think my sister dying is some kind of punishment I deserve?
Jo: (Sniffles) No it's not. Accidents happen all the time Alex, whether it's inside a car or out in the street or during pillow fights these things happen. And it's not because of a decision you almost made when you were a scared teenager who had too much on his plate. You are not responsible for this and…whatever happens we will get through it.
Alex: I know but… (Sobs) I can't lose her Jo, I can't lose Meredith, I can't lose them both.
(Alex tears up again and Jo puts his head on her shoulder as she cries as well)
TRANSITION TO O.R. 3
(Teddy and the others continue working on Amber)
Teddy: Okay I'm halfway done, Link can you reset that leg while I work here?
Link: Yeah, I'll get it.
Teddy: Khan take the lung.
(Khan does that as Link goes to Amber's left leg)
Link: Yep, Hunt was right it was a closed tibia fracture. I'll need to reset it and put in a cast.
Owen: (Suctions) Hopefully she lives through this to use it, this is still a bloody mess.
Khan: (Spaces out due to shock)
Teddy: Khan snap out of it, you still have a lung to hold.
Khan: I'm sorry Dr. Altman it's just…I like Dr. Karev. I know everyone says she's a monster but there was one time she found me outside on a bench after I lost a patient in the covid ward. She uh she ordered me the best pani puri in Seattle and she ate with me saying she didn't feel like eating alone. After that she recommended movies and music, I needed to catch up with the pop culture of this country. She said if I was gonna stay here and repeat my torturous residency I might as well have some things to keep me sane.
Link: (Chuckles and resets her leg) Yeah it sounds like she would say that… I asked her out you know.
Teddy: What?
Link: Yeah, my first month here I helped her go apartment hunting and…she just had this radiance in her that drew me in. I didn't see her as an intern or a kid, I saw her as someone I wanted to get to know more.
Owen: So, what happened?
Link: We found out our connection to Jo and…we just let it die we didn't want to upset Jo. I think that's why we became good friends. Jo is like a sister to me and Amber is her sister so of course I saw her the same way…minus me asking her out on a date.
Owen: Yeah, that would be a strange way to start seeing someone as a surrogate sister. I don't blame you, I had Alex when he was a resident and he was the exact opposite of Amber. I expected the same blunt, vile, angry attitude from her and I do from time to time but most of the time she had this genuine spark and honest to god curiosity that Alex didn't have. I get why you would ask her out, she's honest, beautiful, smart, loyal, women of those caliber are rare.
Teddy: (Looks at Owen hurt by his backhanded insult at her) I'm almost done here. Do you think she's aware of what's happening right now?
Link: If she was, I think she would be yelling at us to keep her alive.
Khan: (Nods) Yeah, she would, why do you think we call her the Kraken?
CUT TO LIMBO
(Amber looks back at her handwork while George observes)
Amber: Okay pericardial fluid is drained and vitals are steady.
George: You're really good at that, you know.
Amber: Thanks, I'm training in cardiothoracic, what about you? Did you have a specialty picked out before…
George: I died?
Amber: Well, I didn't want to be blunt I mean we did save a patient in limbo together while I'm out there in the real world dying so…God I never thought I would say those words out loud.
George: Yeah, it's weird for anybody let alone someone who relies on science and facts. I wanted to be a trauma surgeon when I was in my second year. I even wanted to join the military and be an army surgeon like Dr. Hunt.
Amber: (Impressed) Damn when I first saw you, I thought you were the Cowardly Lion from Wizard of Oz but no your Charlie Sheen in Platoon.
George: (Shrugs) I prefer Will Schofield in 1917.
Amber: (Looks up confused by his knowledge of a movie that came out after his death)
George: (Grins amused) What, you thought they didn't have movie theaters in the afterlife or something?
Amber: (Chuckles) Honestly, I haven't really given it much thought. I thought it would be decades before I had to worry about that but of course the universe decides against it. But then again it probably should've crossed my mind the second a pandemic was declared.
George: Yeah. You know when I was a resident, pandemics were something you read about we didn't consider it happening back then. I mean even back then technology advanced, the vaccines worked and we didn't know China was making viruses in their kitchens.
Amber: So this was manmade I thought those were just conspiracy theories.
George: It could be or maybe not, I'm just speculating. You know we had a plague scare my intern year. Me and Derek Shepherd did a surgery on woman who was in a car accident, after we did the surgery those guys in white blowup suits came and told us she had the plague. We quarantined in the lockers, I was a mess and of course Shepherd wasn't, he was McDreamy, he was unbeatable. I was a sweaty hot mess pacing the small room regretting not telling my girlfriend I loved her too.
Amber: Okay and what's your point?
George: My point is if it was bad for me then I can't imagine how much worse it is for you.
Amber: (Looks up) I'm trying to get by, I'm trying to save as many as I can and slow the spread. I go home, I shower and read my books so I can forget about what's happening just a little bit but…it's hard to do that. I feel like the meters running on how long it'll be before I snap and I don't know what will happen if I do. I feel…
George: (Sympathetic) burned out?
Amber: Yeah, I do. Did you ever feel that?
George: I was in my second year when I died so no.
Amber: You were probably lucky you got hit by that bus then.
George: (Chuckles slightly) That's dark and from you so bitchy.
(Amber looks up with a blank face while George gives an amused face. Amber breaks and laughs along with George. They continue for several moments before calming down)
Amber: (Exhales) I don't know why I'm laughing I mean I'm dying; I'm doing a surgery with a dead man and I'm laughing. What do you think that says about me?
George: Laughing releases tension, heck people laugh at funerals my friends laughed at mine.
Amber: (Exaggerated) What?!
George: Yeah, Izzie was laughing and then Grey laughed Yang laughed Karev laughed they were all cracking up near my gravesite.
Amber: (Shakes her head) That's horrible and you saw it?
George: Yeah, I did…it made me happy.
Amber: (Shrugs) I guess laughing makes it easier to move on and not have the grief take you. It kind of makes me hope they laugh at my funeral if this thing goes sideways. Okay heartbeat is normal and sinus is back in rhythm, we can close her up. 5-0 prolene.
(Amber removes the rib spreader and starts to close)
George: They could move on, it's different for some though. I think it'll be different with them. My mom didn't go on.
Amber: No?
George: Not really, not like she used to. Some grief is…heavier than other grief, sometimes it moves through you and sometimes it clings to you and eventually it becomes a part of you.
Amber: (Shakes her head) I hope my mom will be okay when she hears about this. She cannot handle any more stress right now. And this might just kill her if it kills me.
George: Well let's make sure that doesn't happen.
Amber: Yeah…If I make it out of here and tell people what I experienced here they might just lock me up. God knows how many crazy residents they had to deal with before me.
George: (Chuckles) Would you believe me if I told you Izzie had sex with a ghost?
Amber: I would, that woman is bat shit nuts with a side of bitchy. Did you know her?
George: Yeah, she was my best friend my uh my person.
Amber: Damn it and I was just starting to like you.
George: Things not going well between the two of you? I guess you're still mad she kept the kids from you.
Amber: (Looks up confused) How do you know about the kids? You never met them.
George: I check in from time to time, same thing with Mer. Those two raised the best kids in the world. And if I'm right you admitted that about Izzie last night.
Amber: I did, even though she's a home wrecking, husband abandoning, lvad wire cutting psycho who has no business being a doctor…she raised those two the best she could. Hey maybe you can answer this who did she cheat with? I mean my money is on Hunt back when he was with Yang, Levi suggests Shepherd but we didn't have any real evidence so can you tell me?
George: (Awkward) Um…that would be me.
Amber: (Stops and looks up at George)
George: I was uh I was married to Callie Torres. My dad died and…I jumped into something I shouldn't have and hurt plenty of people along the way. It's my biggest regret, hurting a woman I loved and disappointing my mom and everyone else around me. I even disgusted Alex and let me tell you he was no angel back then.
Amber: I got that from the stories I heard…wow.
George: (Nods shamefully) Yeah…you so want to stab me with the scalpel, don't you?
Amber: A little but…I've done some things I'm not proud of and hurt the person I loved too. He hurt me first but I didn't have to respond. The same applies to Izzie with you.
George: There were two of us that night.
Amber: Yeah, but you're a man, it's expected for you to be a cheating bastard, no offense.
George: None taken?
Amber: But knowingly cheating with another woman's husband, that's another story. (Groans) I swear that woman sets feminism back more than any man ever could. Tell me does that woman have some kind of magic pussy that made you and my brother look past her unappealing personality and just go for it? Am I missing that?
George: (Chuckles) Wow you got a filthier mouth than Karev, as for your question no she doesn't have a magic…that, she just…she has that quality that makes you see past the neurosis and flaws.
Amber: Well, you must have had piss poor vision because I do not see it at all.
George: …You know I think if you stop immediately assuming the worst out of everyone you meet over some stories you heard from their past. You might be surprised what good things you'll find out about them in the present.
Amber: (Looks up at George and grins before chuckling nostalgically)
George: What? Did I say something funny?
Amber: (Shakes her head grinning) Nothing you just uh…you kind of remind me of my best friend.
George: I'll take that as a compliment and as for Izzie and why we fell for her I'm sure it's the same with DeLuca. I mean you were awful to him for the better part of a year and yet he still fell for you. I don't blame him, you seemed like an angry little girl when I first met you but getting to know you, I see you more than that.
Amber: (Flattered) Thank you…and for the record the only reason I was awful to him was because he rejected me quite brutally if you caught a sneak peek at that.
George: And you were awful because you've been rejected most of your life by your family and it kills you that it applies to respective lovers too.
Amber: (Scoffs) Are you a trauma surgeon or a psychologist now?
George: You know we actually got a lot more in common than you think. You're the baby of the family, right?
Amber: Yeah, two older brothers.
George: (Grins) Me too, their names are Ronny and Jerry and they are the worst. They were captains of the basketball and football teams while I was captain of the mathletes. I was the skinniest and weakest of the three of us as they liked to remind me. Their idea of family bonding is going out into the woods and shooting a defenseless turkey so we can eat it for thanksgiving.
Amber: Sounds yummy, meat is better fresh.
George: (Laughs) You sound like you would get along with my brothers I never did. I mean I love them and despite their jokes I know they loved me but being around them and having them call me Georgie made me feel small and…I thrived when I got out.
Amber: It's the opposite for me. My mom was hardly ever lucid so I got parental care from Alex and Aaron. I learned how to fight growing up with my idiot brothers, they had mean tempers that they showed to everyone but me. Alex taught me some wrestling moves while Aaron taught me how to hustle at poker. Both skillsets were essential to my survival in that hell house.
George: Yeah, I imagine growing up with Karev for a brother forced you to bulk up and push back if he gave you the asshole treatment.
Amber: He was more my dad than my brother growing up, I was convinced he was my dad up until I was 3. He never hit me and he never let me be on the other side of his temper tantrum, same goes for Aaron.
George: Sounds like you hit the jackpot in the brother lottery.
Amber: (Frowns) Sometimes yes, sometimes no.
(The monitor start beeping franticly and Amber and George notice)
George: She's tachycardic and her CVP's going up.
Amber: Whoa, whoa what's happening? I drained the fluid.
George: We're there any other cardiac injuries we missed?
Amber: No, it's can't be! I checked and checked and there's nothing it's gotta be…oh my god.
(Amber looks at the patients face and notices her nose bleeding)
George: What is it?
Amber: It's a cardiac tamponade it must have surrounded the heart sac when we were busy closing, we gotta open her back up ten blade!
(George gives Amber the ten blade which she uses to cut the stiches open)
Amber: Rib spreader!
(George puts the rib spreader in and opens her chest again)
CUT TO REALITY
SCENE: FAMILY WAITING ROOM
(Andrew is trying to sleep on the couch when Carina comes inside with a bag of chips and a cup of coffee)
Carina: Andrea?
Andrew: I'm not asleep I'm trying to but I can't, not until I know she's okay, I have to know.
(Andrew sits up on the couch and Carina sits next to him putting the chips and coffee on the table)
Carina: You need to eat and sleep; you know you need to.
Andrew: I know I do but I can't Carina.
Carina: Andrea-
Andrew: I can't!
Carina (Jumps slightly)
Andrew: (Guilty) I'm sorry it's just…I told her how I felt. I told her I loved her when she was on the table right before she coded. (Sniffles) I should've said it last night when she came to me. She came to me after our shifts and she told me she loved me and that she wanted to be with me and I just…I froze. I stood there and didn't say anything and left her out there. I should've said it then, that I love her I should've said it earlier.
Carina: (Tears up) She knows, I think she always knew.
Andrew: She didn't know, she heard me say it when she was about to die and…I need her to be okay so that she knows it wasn't like that that I love her. That I have always been in love with her since that day I found her in the locker rooms nervous and freaking out for her interview. She needs to know.
Carina: (Rubs Andrew's shoulder) She will, she is a fighter Andrea you know that. She has survived so much worse than this and she will. (Voice breaking) Don't you dare underestimate her.
Andrew: (Sniffles) I don't, I never have.
CUT TO LIMBO
(Amber works frantically to save the patient along with George)
George: She's going into DIC, she's bleeding out.
Amber: (Throws a lap pad into a bucket) Okay push TXA.
George: We already did.
Amber: Then push more and up her anti coagulation, she's not clotting. Where the hell is this coming from? Didn't you do a full workup?
George: It didn't indicate any other serious injuries except for a couple of broken ribs.
Amber: We're they against the lungs or heart?
George: It was in the upper chest yes why? What do you think?
Amber: I think the ribs moved when we were closing her up and it punctured her heart slightly and caused fluid buildup.
(The monitors flatline)
George: She's crashing.
Amber: I see that! I'm gonna start cardiac massage, check her vitals for changes.
(Amber starts massaging the heart)
Amber: Come on, come on please. Help me get out of here. Help me get back to my life.
(Amber continues massaging trying to keep a calm stance)
CUT TO REALITY
SCENE: THE CHAPEL
(Alex and Jo are sitting on the bench in anxiety when Teddy and Owen walk in causing them to stand up immediately and face them)
Alex: (Shuddering breath) Tell me, just tell me.
Owen: Your sister is stable.
Jo: (Exhales in relief) Oh my god, thank God.
Teddy: We were able to find the bleed in her heart and patch it up. Link reset the leg and is in a cast. Amber is in the ICU right now.
Alex: (Exhales in relief) Oh my god thank you so much!
(Jo and Alex hug each other laughing in joy and pull back. They see the blank look on Teddy and Owen's face indicating more news)
Alex: (Grin falls) What is it?
CUT TO LIMBO
(Amber tries to resuscitate the patient with internal paddles while George stands by helping)
Amber: Okay give her 1 milligram of epi and up the charge to 200.
George: (Does as told) Got it.
Amber: Clear!
(Amber shocks the patient)
George: (Looks at the monitor) No change.
Amber: Damn it! Push 1 of epi and charge it again!
(George does it again)
Amber: Clear!
(Amber shocks again but the patient still doesn't respond. Amber takes a shaky breath desperate for her patient to live)
Amber: Okay I'm gonna start massage again.
George: Amber-
Amber: We'll hang another unit of O-Neg and up her anti coagulation.
George: Amber-
Amber: And let's get bypass in here so we can circulate the heart and get it beating again!
George: Amber!
Amber: (Yells) What!
George: It's over.
Amber: No! No! It is not over not until I say it is!
George: (Gently) Amber…she's been down for 40 minutes, even if you brought her back, she would be a vegetable. There's nothing else you can do for her, she's gone.
(Amber looks at George shocked before dropping the paddles to the floor in frustration)
Amber: (Voice breaking) I failed, I failed, I'm never going back. I'm dead.
(Amber sobs at that thought for a few moments before George speaks up)
George: You didn't fail.
Amber: (Sniffles) I did, you said-
George: I said if you wanted to get out of here, you would have to do this surgery. I never said saving the patients life is the way out.
Amber: What the hell are you talking about? Did that brain damage you got from the bus follow you in death?
George: You know all this time you've tried saving the patients' life but you never once asked what her name is and how she got here.
Amber: What does that have to do with-
George: Check under the drapes, look at her right hip.
Amber: (Incredulous) Excuse me?
George: Check under-
Amber: (Angry) What does her right hip have to do with me dying you son of a bitch?! How the hell is all of this supposed to help me get out of here?!
George: Would you just look?!
(Amber groans in frustration before doing what he says)
Amber: There I see her hip and-
(Amber freezes as she sees a tattoo on the patient's right hip. The tattoo says 'I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good' there are 6 little footprints on top of the text colored pink yellow and blue to represent the pansexual colors)
George: (Looks at her with pity) You recognize that ink, don't you?
Amber: (Shudders in horror) I-I-It's mine. I have that same tattoo.
(Amber pulls her scrub top up revealing that same tattoo in her right hip)
George: (Sighs) Why don't take another look at our patients face.
(Amber swallows and uneasily walks closer to view the patients face. The face is unbruised and healed revealing the patient to be a 20-year-old Amber Karev. Amber looks at herself in shock)
CUT TO REALITY
SCENE: ICU
(Amber is inside a room lying in bed hooked up to a ventilator. Alex, Jo, Levi and Andrew stand outside Amber's room with Teddy and Owen explaining what happened)
Teddy: She was coding and the glass was in her chest cavity so-
Andrew: (Guilty) I pulled it out.
Alex: (Shocked) You what?
Andrew: (Exhales) I pulled it out so I could do compressions.
Alex: (Ready to snap) Are you-
Owen: He made the right call, the wound was already bleeding even with the object and pulling it out didn't make a difference. If DeLuca hadn't done what he did she would've gone another minute without oxygen in the brain.
Alex: (Inhales and exhales before calming down) Fine go on.
Teddy: Link took over compressions, I had him stop so I could do the thoracotomy. I got in as fast as I could and found the bleed as fast as I could. After that I put the patch in and closed her back up.
Jo: (Sniffles) How long was she down?
Teddy: 5 and a half minutes. It took us that long to get her heart beating again.
Levi: (Sad) I-Is there brain damage?
Owen: Amelia ran the test and there's some brain activity which is a good thing. We put her on a ventilator to deliver oxygen to the brain, right now she's in a coma. All we can do is wait until she wakes up.
Alex: (Tears up) If she wakes up.
Jo: Look let's not assume the worst okay, there's activity and the ventilator is just a precaution.
Alex: (Voice breaking) Jo you and I both know that you can get brain damage in as little as 4 minutes.
Levi: That's not true the 4-to-6-minute mark indicates the possibility of brain damage.
Andrew: He's right, there have been cases of people going under for 7 minutes, even 8 without permanent brain damage. And this was a non neuro injury accident so that works in our favor.
Alex: In case you haven't noticed things haven't worked in my family's favor for a long time.
Teddy: Alex I know this is scary but we can't go there not yet.
Owen: It's still early we just put the vent in and we're having Amelia run hourly tests. If there's any indication her condition is improving or…we will know by then and we will do everything we can to get her back.
Jo: (Trying to be hopeful) Okay, okay so we keep her on the vent, as long as there's brain activity we'll keep her on it.
(Teddy tears up as she looks away due to guilt which Andrew notices)
Andrew: Altman, what is it?
Teddy: (Sniffles) When covid first started Amber came to me personally to go over her will…including lifetime care and support.
Alex: (Knows this means bad news) What did she agree to?
Teddy: (Tears up) We went over her assets and who should have her shares and items and we got to the event she goes on a ventilator. She signed…she signed that life sustaining will be withdrawn if there are no signs of recovery after a period of 30 days.
Alex: (Sniffles and tries to be calm) Did you three know about this?
Andrew: (Shocked as well) No I didn't.
Levi: She never mentioned a will once.
Jo: (Tears up) No I'm hearing it just now, she never talked to me about this.
Teddy: She said she knew you and Maggie would talk her out of it same with Alex. She was very clear on what she wanted and… (Voice breaking) We have to respect her wishes.
Alex: This cannot be happening.
Owen: We don't know if it will come to that despite what you think 30 days is actually enough time for her to recover. There have been people who woke from comas in that period from far worse injuries than hers. We just have to wait and hope she's one of them.
Jo: (Voice breaking) C-Can we see her? Can we go inside?
Owen: One at a time, okay? I'm breaking protocol allowing one visitor in there.
Alex: (Sniffles) I'll go. I left her side when she was in a hospital bed once I'm not doing that again.
Jo: Go, I need to get back to Val.
(Alex tries to hold back tears as Owen leads him inside leaving the others)
Levi: (Sniffles) It's okay, I-I-It'll be okay. She's here and she's still alive and-
Teddy: (Sad) Has anyone called the rest of her family? Her mom and brother?
(Levi stands there frozen as he hears that question. Jo sobs immediately at how Helen and Aaron don't know by now. Andrew closes his eyes in despair)
Andrew: I have their numbers, I'll do it.
(Andrew walks away to inform Helen and Aaron crying as he walks away)
CUT TO LIMBO
(Amber is sitting numbly on the floor leaning against the wall still trying to process what she just did. George looks at her quizzically before sitting down next to her)
Amber: (Numb) I…I just operated on myself.
George: Yeah, feel free to admit how weird it was.
Amber: …This is so Stephen King.
George: It Stephen King or The Stand Stephen King?
Amber: Um…that short story where the good doctor eats himself, it's not a movie.
George: It would be alarming if it was.
Amber: D-Did you do this? Was this your challenge back then?
George: No, my challenge was walking through a maze so I could get to the battlefield. I guess it depends on the personality of the person dying. From what I saw…you have serious self-condemnation issues.
Amber: Are you really trying to make fun of me after I botched my own surgery?
George: You didn't botch it; you did everything right.
Amber: I should've considered that my ribs were puncturing my heart, I should've seen it.
George: How could you? You're a resident and you had extensive injuries that were too severe to patch up in one go.
Amber: …You said that she…I was hit by a car at full speed. Why did I get run over?
George: …That you on the table is a younger version of you who decided to report Mance to the school board in spite of your scholarship being taken away. She decided that she would take a chance and trust the system for once. On a rainy Monday morning she was crossing the street at Washington State Park to go to student services. Mance found out about it after hacking your phone and saw you made an appointment. You and I both know how powerful he is in the medical community so it wasn't hard for him to find someone to do his dirty work. On March 15, 2014, an unmarked and unregistered car saw you walking across the street. As soon as you were in the middle, he hit the gas and ran you over. A few hours later you died on the table from the same injuries you just operated on. This isn't a definitive, this version is just one possibility of what would've happened that day, but it doesn't change what you need to learn here.
Amber: (Voice breaking) And what is that?
George: That none of it was your fault.
Amber: I know that.
George: No, you don't, you don't know that. There's a part of you that's still blaming yourself for what happened. Otherwise, you wouldn't still be here.
Amber: (Stands up) I-I-I don't know what you're talking about.
George: Your challenge wasn't to save your own life Amber, it's to acknowledge that the choice you made wasn't something you wanted. It was something that was forced on you and you had an unfair ultimatum, your education or your dignity.
Amber: (Tries to be calm) Then you know I didn't sleep with him.
George: I know that, but do you? Do you know that you didn't have a choice that day? Do you know that you have no blame in this whatsoever? Do you know that you were a victim of a brutal attack by a serial predator?
Amber: (Swallows) I do.
George: You don't, this isn't gonna work unless you fully realize that and know that you have nothing to be ashamed of.
Amber: (Subtly breaks) That's not-
(Amber stays quiet as she breathes heavily trying to keep a composed stature)
George: That's not what? That's not true? Why not? What is holding you back Amber? What has kept you quiet about this unbelievable tragedy all these years? What has you so convinced that it was something you wanted? What has you blaming yourself?
Amber: (Tears up as she starts to break down) I could have refused him I could have fought him I could have…
George: (Presses on) What? You could have what?
Amber: (Shuts down again) Nothing, forget it just forget it!
George: Amber we are so close right now, we are so close to getting to the root of what is keeping you here. What could you have done differently six years ago?
Amber: (Breaks down and shouts) I could have said no!
(Amber puts her hand in front her mouth as she fully breaks down crying with George watching her in sympathy)
George: You did say no didn't you?
Amber: That first night yeah but…I said yes after that, after he took my scholarship.
George: Amber your scholarship was on the line, you were faced with a choice you shouldn't have had to make. It doesn't make what happened to you any less of a violation. It doesn't make what he did to you less than what it actually was. He raped you Amber, that's what happened and that's what you need to acknowledge.
Amber: I-I-I do I told Naomi that night about what happened I told her that I was raped I used that word!
George: Saying it and knowing it are not the same thing. You can't blame yourself for what he did. If you think because he didn't hold you down except for that one night that that means it wasn't rape your wrong. Sexual extortion is a real thing and it's what he did. He played on your weaknesses and vulnerabilities. He knew all the hard work you put into getting into medical school, he knew that and he used it to his advantage.
Amber: (Breaking down) Stop it, please stop.
George: He blackmailed you with your scholarship so that he could violate you. The sick bastard knew what he was doing, do you think you were the first girl he did this too? You know as well as I do that, he had practice. And that he had it planned the second he saw you and your financial records.
Amber: (Shaky breath) I-I-I can't do this.
George: You have to okay, if you want to get out of here you have to face the fact that what happened to you was not fair. It wasn't something you wanted and it wasn't what you asked for. Answer me this, did a part of you wanted what he did to you? Ignore the blackmailing and focus on where your mind was back then, did you want it at all?
Amber: (Sniffles) …No.
George: No, you didn't, you didn't want any of it. You said no to him the first night and he didn't listen, he abused his power so he could abuse you. That night you said no, you made it clear you were done…and he didn't listen.
(Amber gasps for air as she sits against the wall hugging her knees on the verge of a breakdown)
George: (Kneels next to her) He didn't listen to what you were clearly saying, he took something from you that night. He took your trust in authority figures, he took your ability of seeing sex as a way to have fun and he took your pride in all your hard work and twisted it. He did that Amber not you; he did that. He is the one who should feel shame, not you. You don't have to deny what is alarmingly clear, you can admit it and be free.
Amber: (Sobbing and gasping) …He…He rap…He raped me. He-He raped me. (Crying as the realization finally hits her) Oh my god…I…I was raped.
George: (Sympathetic) It's okay, it's okay just let it out.
Amber: (Cries harder) I was raped. I was-I was raped.
(Amber continues crying and sobbing heavily. George puts his hand on her shoulder, and she moves to hug him, putting her face against his chest as she continues crying. George pulls her closer and hugs her)
CUT TO BLACK
REALITY
SCENE: THE ICU
(Amber is lying in bed hooked to a ventilator still unresponsive. Alex is sitting by her bed in a chair)
Alex: (Sighs) You know for someone who claims to have been a loner since she was 16 you've got a whole village outside. Jo is on another floor with that patient who had a baby extracted from her liver. Levi is in the waiting room trying not to die from anxiety. Station 19 is calling for updates, I think you made a good impression on them. Even DeLuca is outside sitting vigil so I think you're gonna have some luck on the romance front. He even called mom and Aaron and told them what happened, that must've been a fun conversation.
Amber: (Unresponsive)
Alex: (Tries something) You know Izzie called me when you were in the O.R. she didn't know what was happening. I postponed my meeting with Bailey about her when I heard about you and of course she immediately assumed you had something to do with it. There were some insults towards you and I stopped her by saying you were dying and that her basic bitch needs don't come first now, yeah I called her a basic bitch. I hung up right after and I bet she's feeling really bad right now.
Amber: (Unresponsive)
Alex: Damn I thought that would work. Aaron called me a little while ago I don't know if you heard. He was freaking out saying he was getting in his truck and coming here but I told him not to that you would kick his ass if he did. The good news is I told him that they were able to patch up your heart but um…we wouldn't know about any brain issues until you wake up. But I told him not to worry that our… (Strokes Amber's hair parentally) beautiful, strong, resilient pain in the ass baby sister would be on her feet in no time.
(Alex continues stroking Amber's hair back and holds her hand)
Alex: Amber if you can hear me, I want you to squeeze my hand, okay?
(Alex holds Amber's hand waiting for squeeze but doesn't get anything as she is still unresponsive)
Alex: (Sniffles) I'm not letting go, do you hear me? I am not letting go of your hand until you squeeze. I am not going anywhere, not this time. (Voice breaking) Your stuck with me kid and I'm stuck with you.
MEANWHILE AT THE NICU
(Jo is waiting for Luna to come back from her surgery after unsuccessfully trying to revive Val. Hayes comes in along with Luna)
Hayes: No respiratory distress, chest tube's barely putting out anything. She's a trouper.
Jo: (Sad) She's gonna need to be.
Hayes: (Realizes) No.
Jo: I ran the code for an hour.
Hayes: …I heard about Karev's sister, I'm so sorry I know how close you two are. I can't even imagine.
Jo: (Sniffles) No you can't…I'm trying to hold on and be strong for Alex but… (Voice breaking) Before her and Alex I didn't have a family. I grew up with foster siblings who ignored me and never made an effort to know me and then Amber came. Even before I married Alex, she looked out for me. She helped me during the worst time of my life, I didn't ask, she just did it. I helped her with relationship troubles, and she helped me when I was depressed. We…We were sisters you know? We were closer than sisters and now…now she's on a vent with her brother by her bedside hoping she gets better. How is that fair?
Hayes: I don't know, it's not, it's not fair that she's in between life and death right now just like it wasn't fair my wife had her cancer spread when it could've been easily removed. Life isn't fair Wilson we both know that especially now all we can do is just hold on and…survive whatever comes next. I am truly sorry.
Jo: Me too.
(Hayes leaves the NICU while Jo stays. She takes off her gloves and sanitizes her hands. Jo opens an access door and puts her finger in Luna's tiny hand crying for her and Amber as she rubs her own pregnant belly)
CUT TO ON CALL ROOM
(Levi is inside siting blankly on the bed overwhelmed by the days events)
Levi: Val is dead.
Nico: (Takes mask off) I heard. I'm sorry.
Levi: Amber was okay last night and now she might not be.
Nico: (Sits next to Levi) I know we had our differences but I'm also shook by this and hoping she pulls through.
Levi: (Sniffles) I spent so many years pretending to be someone else. So many years afraid of what my mother thought, neighbors thought, what I thought. I wasted so much time. And now we're all just working and surviving and waiting. (Chuckles drily) For what? Is this all just gonna end one day? Like, one day we're all gonna get a memo that says, "Covid's over. Everyone back to normal"? I think I wasted all the time I was supposed to be happy.
(Levi starts to cry and Nico pulls him in for a side hug comforting him)
Levi: I wasted so much time…I don't want to waste anymore.
Nico: (Kisses his head) Me neither.
Levi: I want to be happy…I want that…and I don't feel that with you anymore.
(Nico pulls back looking at Levi confused)
Levi: You were my first love; you will always be my first love but I can't keep doing this with you. I can't keep loving you and being angry at you because you don't know how to love me back. I see Jo and Alex; Amber and DeLuca and I want that. I want to feel good in a relationship, I want to feel seen, I want to feel loved. I want what you can't give me.
Nico: Levi-
Levi: I don't know if I'll find someone right after you, the chances of that are slim but I need to try. I need to try and find something that makes me feel good about myself. I need to find someone who loves me for me and who I feel more love than anger towards. Amber's accident made me see that life is short and that I should use that time to find something more something better than this. I'm sorry.
(Nico looks at him heartbroken and stiffly stands up and walks out of the on-call room)
LATER AT THE CHAPEL
(Andrew bursts through the doors in anger and breathes heavily before taking off his mask revealing his angry face)
Andrew: (Kicks a pew) You got a really sick sense of humor you know that? Y-You give her a junkie dad who bashed her fingers with a toilet seat because she had an accident. You gave her a schizo mom who was only lucid a quarter of the time and cut to 16 years later her brother inherited it after he stabbed her. (Chuckles darkly) And if that wasn't bad enough you give her a bipolar boyfriend who verbally lashed out at her and made her life hell for months. I wanted to marry her and I think she wanted to marry me but she couldn't because of all the crazy shit you thrust into her life the moment she was born! And hey add a worldwide pandemic to that, let's see how much she can take before she offs herself! What kind of a good god does all that to someone who only wants to help people like she wanted to be helped? What kind of good god hits her with a drunk driver even though she had the right of way? What kind of good god makes this beautiful, kind, funny, strong woman suffer her whole damn life only to end it on a damn ventilator?! What?!
(Andrew kicks the pew repeatedly until the edge breaks. Andrew breathes heavily for a few moments before sitting at the first pew exhaustedly)
Andrew: (Calm but sad) …I don't know why you gave her all that crap but please… (Voice breaking) I'm begging you, don't take her from us. Please don't take her from me. She saved my life…ending hers will end mine. Please.
(Andrew sobs at the pew not knowing Carina was in there as well. She sits next to him and puts his head on her shoulder allowing him to sob there)
CUT TO BLACK
REALITY
SCENE: OUTSIDE THE ICU
(Jo and Levi wait outside the doors in tense silence. Andrew approaches them)
Andrew: Anything?
Jo: No, no update.
Levi: (Sighs) ...You know I thought I thought I would do better the next time this happened after the accident at Joe's. I saw almost all my friends in surgery fighting for their lives and I was a mess, I had a cardiac event. I thought that the next time it happens I would be used to it but...I'm not. I'm not better not even close.
Jo: None of us are.
Andrew: (Leans against the wall six feet from them) Did you really think we would be?
Levi: ...No.
(The three of them stand outside in anxiety when Reza Khan, Sara Ortiz, Alma Ortiz, and James Chee approach them)
Sara: Dr. Schmitt we were wondering how Dr. Karev's is and how her vitals-
Levi: (Clipped tone) Keep it moving no loitering in the ICU hallway that's the rule.
Jo: Levi come on.
Levi: Trust me Amber would say the same thing only with more filthy words and angry glances.
Andrew: If they want to stay and see how she is let them. (Levi looks at Andrew) Amber has a whole village worried for her and even though she doesn't like it those four are part of it. They deserve to be updated too.
Levi: (Sighs) Fine.
(The interns lean against the wall across from them anxious for Amber)
LIMBO
SCENE: RESIDENTS LOUNGE
(Amber is lying on the couch exhausted with a blanket covering her. George is sitting in a chair across from her)
George: How are you feeling?
Amber: (Sniffles) Ugh you mean other than mortified?
George: I think anyone in your situation would be mortified.
Amber: No that's not-that's not what I mean. I mean yes, the whole thing scares me but the thing that mortifies me the most is the fact that I barely know you and I snotted all over you like a damn baby.
(Both of them laugh)
George: Can I ask you something? Since we probably don't have much time left together and my curiosity is getting the better of me?
Amber: Shoot.
George: How does a girl who hides her love of fantasy and cosplay end up getting a Harry Potter quote on her hip? I mean that gets your secret geek side out plain as day.
Amber: (Chuckles) Simple, never get drunk on craft beer at comic con. You'll end up with ink and a yeast infection the day after.
George: (Laughs) We've all been there, but otherwise how do you feel?
Amber: (Sighs) Free I think or no it's like…it's like this weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
George: Well, you carried this guilt and shame around you for six years now, that's a pretty heavy weight. There were others that wanted to help you, grandparents, elderly patients you helped before and during covid, even your dad.
Amber: I think seeing him would make me want to go down instead of up.
George: (Chuckles) Yeah that's what stopped him I think…I wanted to help you. I fought to be the one to help you, I mean I never met you but I knew your brother so I guess in a way that connects us.
Amber: (Sits up) I thought you hated my brother? Ever since that day he gave you an STI and you punched him in the face. I don't blame you I've punched him too.
George: (Smiles) Yeah, I know I saw that I actually have it on a loop. He says I punched like his sister but let me tell you that shiner you left was more impressive than mine. Did Alex teach you that?
Amber: I took boxing after…after I was raped.
George: (Nods) It's good you did, at least it helped you feel strong physically. As for why I helped you even though your brother was a pain in my backside. I didn't make it out of here but if I could help someone get back, I might feel like I did something good even in death, like I saved a life.
Amber: You sound like an angel; did they give you a harp and halo when you walked through the pearly gates?
George: I asked but they said they were out of stock. (Chuckling) I didn't like you brother a lot but I like you, you're actually nice to me. You're nicer than Alex was when he was your age.
Amber: I think Vladimir Putin was nicer at that age.
(They both laugh at her comment)
George: Aside from that I figured if I helped you get back to him, he owes me a massive one when we meet again.
Amber: (Chuckling) Smart. (Exhales in relief)
George: What is it?
Amber: It's just…it feels different now when I say it when I say the word rape. God, it feels weird to say it and actually mean it. I thought I went through the trigger words but…but I didn't really believe it. I didn't believe what happened to me was considered rape. I said yes to having a drink with him that night he came on to me and I guess I thought that if it started with a yes then…then the no's after that didn't matter.
George: The order doesn't matter Amber what matters is you said no, that is the only word that matters here.
Amber: (Tears up and nods) I know, I know that now…thanks to you. You know I volunteered in the women's clinic when I was premed. They were always short-staffed so they took all the help they could get. I mostly did physicals on women and girls who wanted pap smears, birth control and abortions. On occasion…those girls were raped either by their foster parents, their guy friends or just a stranger who jumped them. (Tear streaming down her cheek) I try to get them to report it but they always refused. They said it's nothing that they can handle it and I gotta be honest I passed judgment in my head. Like 'Why would you let him get away with what he did? Why do you want to continue feeling like this' now I get it. It's like you can't even believe it's happening like you're not strong enough to know it happened.
George: But you know now and you're still here, you're still standing and I am so proud of you. You survived the unimaginable and you came back stronger. You took that pain of yours and you use it to help women who have been where you were. You fought tooth and nail to get a teenage girl alone so she could feel safe enough to tell you that she was being trafficked. You helped that woman who was raped repeatedly realize that she survived something horrible to protect her family and told her your story so she could have a choice to prosecute her attacker. You survived like those women Amber you survived, and you need to tell yourself what you've been telling them.
(Amber looks at him confused. George stands up and offers him her hand which she takes and stands up. She follows him out in the hall where they enter another room, this time it's the patient room at Langone Health hospital. On the bed is a 20-year-old Amber Karev who is beaten and crying after Mance's assault on her that night)
Amber: (Breath hitches) What is this?
George: This is your challenge, your real challenge, what you need to do to go back, to wake up.
Amber: Wake up?
George: Yeah, I didn't update you sorry um you survived the surgery out there in the real world, but you coded for 5 and a half minutes. You're in a coma Amber and what you say to this version of you is what's gonna wake you up.
Amber: (Swallows) …What do I say?
George: Tell her what she wanted to hear that night, tell her what she needed to hear.
(Amber sniffles and moves gingerly towards her broken younger self staring at the floor blankly. She kneels down to look her in the eyes before taking a deep breath)
Amber: …None of this was your fault. You think because you said yes at some point that means you deserved it but you didn't. No one deserves what you went through, no one deserves the pain that you're going through right now. He is the one who is at fault here and only him, you have no blame for this whatsoever.
(The past Amber's breath shakes hearing this, present Amber holds her right hand)
Amber: You are not stupid for accepting a drink with him, you are not stupid for when he came on to you. You are not weak, you are not a victim, and you are not broken. You are strong, you are brave and you are gonna get through this. You are stronger than you think because you survived. A woman's worst nightmare happened to you and you survived.
Past Amber: …I…I survived.
Amber: You survived and he can't take that from you. Don't give him anymore power show him that even though he beat you…he didn't break you.
(Past Amber looks at her with hope in her tear glistened eyes. Amber closes her eyes as she tears up and opens them revealing Past Amber to be gone. Amber sniffles and stands in front of George)
George: How do you feel?
Amber: …Like I'm ready to go back.
George: (Smiles proudly) Exits over there.
(George points behind her and the scene changes to the Grey Sloan lobby where Amber faces the sliding doors leading outside)
Amber: (Sniffles) Thank you…I'm another Karev who owes you a big one.
George: (Grins) I'll tell Alan Rickman I said hi.
Amber: And always.
George: And always. It was nice meeting you…I hope it'll be a long time before we meet again.
Amber: You and me both.
(Amber hugs George gratefully for a few moments before pulling back)
George: Tell your brother I said hi…and that he owes me.
Amber: (Grins) I will…see you later O'Malley.
George: See you later Karev.
(Amber smiles at George before walking toward the sliding doors that open. She takes a deep breath before walking past the doors)
CUT TO REALITY
SCENE: ICU
(Alex is still inside Amber's room holding her hand with his head on the side of her bed taking a nap. He feels a squeeze in his hand causing him to wake up groggily before realizing Amber is squeezing his hand. He sits up and sees Amber moving her head slightly)
Alex: (Shudders) Amber?
(Amber moves her head to the sound and slowly opens her eyes causing Alex to be shocked with joy before pressing a button signaling the nurse to come)
Nurse Taylor: What happened?
Alex: She's waking up get Altman and Shepherd now.
(Nurse Taylor runs off while Alex stays with Amber who looks at him with droopy eyes)
Alex: Don't talk, okay? You're in the ICU but you're okay. Blink once if you remember why you're here and twice for no.
Amber: (Blinks once)
Alex: Okay, you haven't been down long, just a few hours. (Laughs in joy) You have no idea how much I missed you kid, how much we all missed you. I'm here okay, I'm right here.
(Teddy and Amelia run to the ICU where Jo, Andrew and Levi wait outside the doors)
Jo: What happened?
Andrew: Is she awake?
Levi: Did she have a stroke?
Amelia: We don't know.
Teddy: They just paged us 911 now move!
(They move inside when the doors open and stop outside Amber's room where they are shocked to find her awake with Alex holding her hand)
Jo: (Gasps) Oh my god.
Levi: (Happy) She's awake.
Andrew: (Smiles) She's awake!
(Levi and Andrew laugh in joy before hugging, Jo ignores them and goes inside to be by her side with Alex)
Jo: How are her vitals?
Teddy: Their stable BP is 115/75 cardiac enzymes look good I'm gonna do a full workup.
Amelia: Pupils are equal and reactive, she follows commands.
Alex: You hear that? You okay, you're okay and you're alive. We're right here, do you hear me? Your family is here.
(Amber responds by squeezing Alex's hand tighter knowing she's finally back and happy)
I KNOW IT WAS A VERY EMOTIONAL CHAPTER I CRIED A LITTLE AS I WROTE IT ;( I HOPE YOU ENJOYED SEEING GEORGE AGAIN AND THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE RELEASED THIS SUNDAY HAVE A GREAT WEEK EVERYONE!