HEY GUYS SORRY FOR NOT POSTING LAST WEEK I'VE BEEN IN CANCUN VACATIONING WITH MY FAMILY THE LAST WEEK BUT I AM BACK AND READY TO UPDATE. ENJOY AND REVIEWS ARE WELCOME.
Chapter 27: BLM Part 1
MAY 26, 2020
SCENE: BREMERTON PARK AT NIGHT
(Nick is running at full speed on the trail in workout clothes and a mask when his phone rings causing him to stop and pull it out of his armband. He sees his mom facetiming him and answers it)
Nick: Hey mom, it's late, what are you doing up?
Naomi: I wanted to check on you before your shift tomorrow, have you seen the news? The protests?
Nick: Yeah, it's hard to miss. People are pissed and I don't blame them. But don't worry, the protest isn't until the day after, I'll call you to let you know I'm okay as soon as my shift is over, I promise.
Naomi: Are you going to protest?
Nick: Um I don't know it's kind of a headache for me. I didn't know the guy and of course it's a tragedy but we're in a pandemic and the risk of exposure is huge in large crowds. My crew is going though, with their war against PD it's to be expected.
Naomi: And you're not joining them?
Nick: Mom, you make it sound like you want me to go, I expect you to tell me not to go.
Naomi: Honey, with everything that happened to your team before you came, they feel the need to band together after another racial injustice by the police. I know it's not safe for you to be in that protest but…did you know a woman was beaten to near death in downtown?
Nick: What? I didn't know that.
Naomi: Well, she was, it happened a few blocks from the store. It was a hate crime because she came here last year from Cambodia.
Nick: (Groans) And people who look like her are instantly blamed for this damn virus. Is she okay?
Naomi: I read that she was in the ICU with a tube down her throat. She has two children and they ran when he was attacking her. She told them to run like any good mom would and he still beat her until two of her teeth fell out.
Nick: (Shakes his head) God when is this madness gonna end?
Naomi: I don't know baby, but maybe it's something you can help stop with everyone else out there on the streets.
Nick: Mom that's for the black community, not the Asian American's.
Naomi: Both of our communities are being ostracized and attacked for no good reason. In my opinion I see no difference if all of us go to this protest.
Nick: (Sighs) Look I gotta go mom, I got an early shift I love you.
Naomi: I love you too honey, be safe.
Nick: You too.
(Nick hangs up and inhales sharply before running)
THE NEXT MORNING
SCENE: STATION 19
(Nick enters the barn in uniform as the engine comes in and the others come out)
Nick: Long night?
Andy: Yep.
Maya: I know it's been a long night, team, and we have a long shift ahead of us, but I want you all to know that-
Jack: Diane.
Diane: Jack. Don't worry. I got a rapid test this morning, so I'm clean as a whistle.
Nick: Who are you? Who is she?
Vic: Her name is Diane she's a therapist for the department uh, what are y-what is she-
Maya: I asked her to come. There's been a death, and you are all grieving, so I asked her to come.
(They stand there taking a beat)
Vic: I'm sorr-you me-
Ben: You talking about George Floyd?
Dean: You brought in a therapist to help us process the death of George Floyd?
Maya: I did. I feel powerless to help, and this felt like something I could do.
Diane: There are not many fire captains who would treat a moment of national crisis like an internal tragedy, and your captain is. I respect it, so I'm honored to be here to help however I can. I don't need you to talk about Mr. Floyd. I'm not gonna make you talk to me at all. This isn't mandatory. I'm just here if you need me.
(Diane leaves and the others walk to their respective tasks)
CUT TO BLACK
LATER
SCENE: TURN OUT ROOM
(Nick is cleaning the hose's when his phone rings. He sees Amber calling and answers it)
Nick: Hey.
Amber: Hey I'm getting stuff for the barbeque tonight. I got pasta, I got salad, I got dressing and I got sodas. What are you bringing?
Nick: Um honestly, I don't know if I'm gonna make it tonight. It's a day shift but I don't know if a party is something I'll be in the mood for after.
Amber: It's more a dinner than a party if that makes you more comfortable. It's covid safe, it'll be outdoors and chairs are six feet apart. There are baby back ribs.
Nick: I'll think about it.
Amber: …Okay I called to check on you after what happened, how are you?
Nick: I'm fine.
Amber: (Surprised) Really?
Nick: I mean I'm not totally fine it's a complete injustice that was horrifying to watch but I'm not as broken as the others here.
Amber: Yeah, I think it's because you got there after they were brutally attacked by the police.
Nick: Yeah, that could be it, the video was hard to watch I can't imagine living it.
Amber: Well, you said you were harassed by your own crew, right?
Nick: Yeah, racial slurs and the demotion here and there but I was never physically beaten in front of a camera.
Amber: So, you don't feel it's the same as what your team went through?
Nick: (Sighs) You don't have to play therapist there's already one right here.
Amber: A therapist?
Nick: Yeah, the captain sent her to talk to us about our grief. Which is nice but I don't see how talking about it will help.
Amber: Take it from someone who has a schizophrenic mother, brother and bipolar boyfriend, therapy can help a lot. It doesn't fix the whole world but it might fix your own.
Nick: (Chuckle slightly) That line is really cheesy.
Amber: Yeah, I heard it as I said it.
Nick: I don't need to talk about what's troubling me because nothing is troubling me. I'm just trying to get through the day and be prepared for tomorrow.
Amber: Right, the protests, are you going to that?
Nick: No, I don't think so, are you?
Amber: I'm gonna stay at the hospital and help out with the fallout, God knows it's gonna be brutal even if it's peaceful.
Nick: Yeah, cops tend to shoot first, ask questions later.
Amber: Why aren't you going? I mean your team with everything it's expected they would go too.
Nick: Because it's too risky and I would think as a doctor you would get how risky it is to be in large crowds during a pandemic.
Amber: So, wear masks, carry hand sanitizer. I'm not saying it's safe, it's risky but there's no good time to fight for change. I mean have you seen the news? Hundreds of thousands of people are out in the streets right now marching for George Floyd. They don't care that it's risky they just don't want this murder to go away quietly.
Nick: I don't want that either it's just…what kind of difference will it make if I march?
Amber: That's something you're gonna have to find out. I gotta go, I'm at the register, let me know if you're on for dinner tonight.
Nick: Thanks.
(Nick hangs up and continues cleaning the hoses. After he's done, he goes to the lounge where he finds Vic and Dean watching the news about the rising protests)
Vic: God, look at that. It's just getting bigger and bigger, hmm?
Dean: Mm-hmm.
Vic: It's all over the world. Almost makes you…hopeful?
Dean: (Hands remote) Take this. Turn to channel 17. (Grabs her mug) And let me get that.
Vic: What?
Dean: So you don't throw it across the room.
(Vic turns to channel 17 where her smile falls when they see Dixon on screen giving a speech at city hall)
Dixon: ...the news in Minneapolis. We stand in support of our communities, no matter their color.
Nick: (Recognizes him) Is that the devil of Seattle I heard so much about?
Dean: It's one of the nicer nicknames we have for him.
Vic: (Disgusted) Oh, God. Give me that coffee cup back.
Dean: This little play-act has been on loop for half an hour now, and these stations are eating it up. Like he's some shining example of PD valor.
Vic: (Groans) Oh, God, I just threw up in my mouth a little bit, I think.
Dean: Well, get ready to throw up some more.
Dixon: As far as any question about where this department stands on the issue of Black Lives…
Vic: I know this little earthworm is not gon-
(They watch in disgust as Dixon kneels on camera)
Vic: (Mad) Oh. What?!
Dean: Yeah.
Vic: Oh, come on.
Dean: That. That is why every time I wonder whether to continue with the lawsuit, whether it's too much…too little, too fast, too slow. It's-It's something, at least. Some way to fight against this…This performative, hypocritical, destructive…
Vic: Yeah.
(Nick looks at them with unknown emotion before leaving the lounge)
MEANWHILE
SCENE: ALEX AND JO'S KITCHEN
(Amber enters the kitchen to find Alex getting the meat out)
Amber: Hey.
Alex: Hey I'm getting the meat out to thaw for tonight, although we might need to limit it because Link and Amelia canceled.
Amber: (Puts groceries on counter) What? We've been planning this dinner for weeks; I got stuff for a party of 14, most of which consists of them.
Alex: I know but Maggie and Zola didn't feel like going out tonight.
Amber: Oh.
Alex: Yeah, they said they don't feel well which I don't blame them for. I'd be scared to go out too if I saw a person of color being approached by cops and killed.
Amber: Yeah, Andrew was so shocked he was cursing in Italian which under normal circumstances would be hot but not now. He's more shaken than I am.
Alex: I get that, it's not easy being an Italian in America with ignorant people assuming you brought covid straight from that damn cruise ship.
Amber: Yeah…you know the other day we were at the grocery store and he was making fun of me in Italian and we were having fun it was a relaxing moment. Until some random guy stopped and told him to go back to Italy and die there instead. After that he was…he was silent and so was I because I didn't know what to say. During that whole ride back to his place I didn't know what to say or do to make him feel better. I went to the store alone because Andrew insisted that he clean the apartment while I shop. I know when he's lying and he was lying at that time. I mean I'm pansexual, I have gone out with queer women, queer men, transgender people so I should know how to comfort someone who is being discriminated for all the wrong reasons. But I didn't know what to do there and it makes me sad and it makes me angry. I am so angry I want to punch something.
Alex: (Gets the cutting board) You can angry chop the lettuce for tonight. I'm sure it'll taste better if it's made with rage.
Amber: (Exhales and gets the knife out) If I chop my finger off suture it fast. (Chops lettuce angrily) I talked to Nick today, I asked him how he was.
Alex: And how was he?
Amber: He says he's fine which I want to believe but the men in this family have shown signs of diminished emotional capacity especially at their 20's.
Alex: The women have that too.
Amber: (Grins sarcastically) Maybe I overstepped, he said he didn't want to protest and I asked him why. He told me it was too risky and I told him it's riskier doing nothing like I know what the black community is facing right now. I'm not gonna protest so why should I expect him to?
Alex: Because he's half Japanese and working with black firefighters who were recently attacked by the police.
Amber: Do you think I was being racist there? Assuming because he's Asian American that he's gonna march for Floyd?
Alex: You were trying to help him, he's at the front of this thing he knows what it's like to be discriminated against and beaten down by first responders. I'm sure he doesn't think that.
Amber: (Angry chops) You don't know that.
(Amber continues to angry chop. Alex looks at her in sympathy and decides to confess as he marinates the meat)
Alex: Did you know I used the F word in high school a lot?
Amber: (Chops) Of course you did, you were raising our mom and her two kids because our dad left. I would use the F word periodically, I still do just not in front of the kids.
Alex: Not that F word.
Amber: (Stops chopping and looks at Alex stunned)
Alex: (Guilty) When a wrestling teammate of mine wasn't using all his strength my coach would tell him to stop being such a fag and to shake it off. Me and the others thought it was funny at the time, that being gay was some kind of joke. I would do the same, when we were ribbing each other, I would call someone a fag and laugh it off. I did that more than once and I meant it the way you think I did. That being gay is wrong and it makes you weak so you should expect punishment.
Amber: (Looks at him in sympathy) Alex-
Alex: When that bigot attacked you, when he sprayed that awful word on your locker in front of the whole hospital, I was angry. I was angry that it happened to you but I was also angry at myself because I said stuff like that and I meant it. I wasn't any better than him and yet I was angry that a hate crime happened to you.
Amber: Alex…I'm not gonna say your off the hook for what you did when you were young. It was cruel and vile but we come from completely different generations. I mean the year you were born was when the HIV crisis started in this country and gay bashing increased after that. You grew up in a time where being gay was considered a choice and something to be mocked for. You did that too but you learned from it, you educated yourself. Most guys from your generation don't, they stick to their old ways of thinking but you evolved and caught up. I mean you put a pride flag in your office the first day you were chief, I'm sure the chiefs before you excluding Bailey didn't even consider my communities rights. Both of my brothers inadvertently insulted who I was but you both learned from it and you embraced who I am.
Alex: (Confused) Both?
Amber: Yeah, I was 13 I think when I saw on the news that worldwide people were protesting for gay marriage. At the time I was questioning myself and I knew then that I was different. I knew because I had fantasy three ways with Lucas and Brooke from One Tree Hill.
Alex: (Raises an eyebrow)
Amber: Hey you grow up with two horny older brothers, you start to pick up a few things.
Alex: (Chuckles) Okay fair, continue.
Amber: Okay well when I first saw the change that my community was working so hard to make happen, I felt…pride in who I was for the first time. I felt like I could have an option to marry who I want when I grow up. I felt hopeful that things would be okay for me…until Aaron watched it and said, 'why are they wasting their time? it's not like their ever gonna be seen as normal.' All that hope went away the second he said that and I just went back to my room quietly.
Alex: I'm sorry about that kid.
Amber: Yeah, I know, it's why I didn't come out to him or mom. I was afraid of what he would say or do. I didn't want him to know but of course life found a way for him to find out. I asked a girl out to a dance and she told my principal who told Aaron. I was so terrified to face him that day, I was afraid he was gonna disown me and I'll have lost another brother. I tried to avoid him as much as I could, I hid in the back of the library until it closed and I went outside to find Aaron parked there waiting for me. I was so scared that it felt like every step I took was getting ten pounds heavier. When I finally faced him, he said I only have one question for you. I expected the question to be 'how fast can you pack and get the hell out?' instead he looked me in the eye and asked, 'do you really feel this way?' I said yes and he hugged me. He did the opposite of what I expected him to do and I was so grateful to have him as a brother at that moment. With that being said I resented that he made me feel insecure about being honest with him. I resented it but then I realized that he didn't know any better at the time, neither of you did. I guess I'm saying don't be so hard on yourself because of some comments that you regret from your childhood. It's gonna keep you in that hateful past which is something I will hold against you for life.
Alex: (Touched) Thanks…maybe you should take your own advice too. You're not a racist Amber, I know that's practically the slogan for racists but it's true. You don't have a shred of hatred in your heart, I know that and I'm pretty sure Nick does too. If you feel uncomfortable about what you said or insinuated then take a lesson from it and don't do it again.
Amber: Right…When did you suddenly become the smart one in this family?
Alex: (Smirks) Come on I've always been the smart one, I just let you think you are.
Amber: (Wide eyes and smacks him with a dish towel)
Alex: (Chuckles)
(They continue prepping dinner)
LATER
SCENE: LOBBY
(Nick cleans the desk harshly. Diane walks out of the office and stands by the doorway)
Diane: Hi, I don't think we officially met. I'm Diane Lewis, you're the new firefighter from Florida, right?
Nick: Yeah Nick Evans, hey.
Diane: So, I know I'm a stranger to you and you probably think I'm some bored doctor who doesn't know the trauma and the danger you and your team face every day. But let me assure you I do; I was a firefighter just like you until I got injured out.
Nick: Really? Injured how?
Diane: I was dropped out of a helicopter too soon and I shattered my leg. It was during a call so that was traumatizing for me both physically and mentally. It was at the hospital that I decided to counsel firefighters that have been through traumas like ours.
Nick: (Clicks tongue) You read my file huh?
Diane: Yes, I did. I'm sorry that happened to you, I know from personal experience how even in this day and age firefighting is seen as a white man's game. And I know how those white man can bring people like us down to keep that old tradition the same. I know how these last two months couldn't have been easy for either you or Montgomery. Hate crimes are hate crimes, no matter the race. I'm here to talk to you about it if you want.
Nick: Yeah, look you seem nice but I've seen Cuckoos Nest like 100 times so I have a strong stance against therapy thanks.
Diane: Do you often use fictional references to make sense of your situation?
Nick: Yes, yes I do.
Diane: Then let me try to break that stance by telling you that Cuckoos Nest is an example of a stigma in this country concerning mental health. While it is entertaining it has scared those with real psychological problems from seeking out help for fear of getting locked up and lobotomized. It was a different time with different methods for those who need real help, it's 50 years later and those methods have changed. Because one, lobotomies have been declared illegal and two, people like Nurse Ratched would be prosecuted immediately and possibly put on death row.
Nick: (Sarcastic) Right because the mental health system is so perfect now than it was 50 years ago.
Diane: It's not, it's far from perfect but it is better. People with real mental health crisis can ask for help now and not be made fun of for it like they used to be 50 years ago. Have you ever made someone feel bad when they have a crisis of mental health?
Nick: (Scoffs) No of course not.
Diane: Than a talk with me shouldn't make you feel bad. Why don't we step inside for a privacy?
Nick: (Sighs) Look what happened to George Floyd was a tragedy but I don't feel guilty not about that.
Diane: Okay so what do you feel guilty about then?
Nick: I just told you I don't feel guilty.
Diane: No, you said 'I don't feel guilty not about that' which leads me to believe there is something you feel guilty about. Is it because you feel guilty over something that happened? Or something you did?
(Nick stands there frozen for a moment. Diane goes inside the office and sits at the other side of the desk. Nick exhales and finally goes inside closing the door)
Nick: You know…my first year as a probie I have had to endure racial jokes and unjust demotions. I made a point on a call and was told I was wrong and then a white colleague made that same point and got to assist on the scene. It got so bad I was kicked out after fighting a colleague who made a racial slur against my own mother.
Diane: That's awful.
Nick: Yeah, it was…and you know why it took me so long to defend myself? Why I waited a year until I finally got the first punch?
Diane: Why is that?
Nick: …Because I did the same thing they did. Growing up I was told I wasn't white enough and ironically; I was told I'm not Asian enough. I mean being half this and half that can make you confused about what you are, who you are.
Diane: I understand that it can cause a lot of confusion especially for a young boy.
Nick: I grew up in a city that was mostly Latinx so racism wasn't really an issue for me growing up. I mean my mom and I would go over to a neighbor's house during the Superbowl and they would make barbacoa, it's a steak you make underground. As gross as it sounds it's actually delicious and it was a good time for all of us, I didn't feel left out and neither did my mom. I mean we had to face some racist asshole on the street especially during tourist season but my mom would shake it off. She would keep walking with me by her side and I would just walk by too. I mean I was a kid I didn't know how to protect her from that. It was easy for me to walk by because it didn't happen to me it happened to my mom and it pisses me off because…
Diane: It's okay, you can say it.
Nick: Because I would be passed off as white unlike her. I'm half Japanese but my skin is light and my eyes aren't that slanted because I'm half white. My last name is Evans, we kept my dads name even after he left us and even with a white last name, she was still looked down like she didn't belong here. My grandfather, my sofu, brought her and my aunt to the US when they were 2 and 5. They spent their whole lives here in this country, they got married here, they raised their kids here but they get treated like they came straight from the boat.
Diane: So, you feel guilty because you stood by and watched this happen to your family?
Nick: No, I feel guilty because…because when I was in high school, I played the game to survive and lost a bit of myself along the way. I was a left tackle for the football team, I wanted to fit in and not get my head shoved in a toilet so I chased the American dream and became a star athlete. And while I was doing that, I suppressed my Asian identity, no not only did I suppress it, I made fun of it. I would beat everyone to the punch and make an Asian joke. My teammates would come over and make comments about my house smelling funny because my mom was making miso soup and…I didn't say anything. I never even bothered to learn about my Japanese American history or Asian American history at all. If you never learn about where your own history how can you really exist? I…I feel guilty that I didn't defend my heritage because I was scared of retribution from teenagers. I let my mom carry that shame and after everything she did for me that was how I repaid her. I feel guilty for being part of this screwed up system that says people like me and Floyd aren't equal so why should we be treated as such? I…I feel like if my team knows this…their gonna see me the way they see Dixon. And I would deserve it too.
Diane: You know the prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain that makes decisions, isn't fully developed until your 25. This is why so many teenagers make poor decisions because they don't have fully developed brains, especially in high school with other predeveloped teens. High school is brutal, you and I both know that we say and do things to get by until we graduate and then we can be who we really are. I believe that your actions back then were made by a completely different version of yourself because I don't see that scared teenager right now. I see a man who feels guilt for some high school degressions. A lot of people, like the ones on the video, have done worse than what you did and they don't feel an ounce of guilt. The guilt is what lets you know that you are evolving and becoming a better person.
Nick: Right but…I'm trying to decide if me protesting is a sign of hypocrisy. I don't know Michael Dixon but I know from the stories I've heard that he is a hypocrite, he is a racist. I've made comments I'm sure he's made before and towards people of color and yet he's trying to be a spokesperson of PD valor by kneeling on national news. How is me wanting to protest different from that? How am I different from him?
Diane: Because you're marching for change not for good publicity. Dixon has made inappropriate comments like you yes but let me ask you, do you want to go back and take back those comments you made? Would you do things differently?
Nick: (Sighs) Yes.
Diane: There it is, that's what makes you different from Dixon. Dixon has no shame for the crimes he has committed because he was made chief after calling in the favors, he was owed by people like him. He let the mayor's son drive drunk and that got a family of five killed on the street. Dixon saw that as a way to gain power instead of gaining perspective. He didn't learn from it and he didn't grow from it, he is a grown ass man so what he did is completely on him. Tell me when did you know you wanted to be a firefighter and why?
Nick: I knew when I was 15 and I got shot and lived. I lived but my best friend didn't, I couldn't help but feel guilty for surviving instead of him. I was lying in a pool of my own blood and I saw the light go out in Mateo's eyes that…that stays with me every day. I became a firefighter so I could feel like I was meant to live for a reason, like I was meant to make it so another Mateo didn't die from a brutal attack. I didn't get into this to play some political game, I got into this to save lives plain and simple.
Diane: Exactly. You did what he couldn't, you grew up, you gained perspective, you got into this job to save lives just like your team. So why should they call you out for things you did in your childhood when there are adults doing worse things with a clear mind and no conscience? Would you do that to your fellow brothers or sisters?
Nick: …No but…
Diane: But what?
Nick: But I feel like I'm going back to those roots somehow by lying to my mom. I started reconnecting with this half brother and sister I just found out I have from my father that abandoned me. I haven't told my mom because I'm afraid of doing exactly what I did when I was 16, I'm afraid of making her carry more pain for me, for us. I mean her husband left her to raise her son alone and to add salt to the wound he took her dead father's guitar with him after pawning the other two.
Diane: He sounds like a piece of shit.
Nick: He was, only a piece of shit would leave two wives and four kids for drugs.
Diane: And do this half brother and sister remind you of your father?
Nick: (Sighs) I was afraid they would but after a while I saw they couldn't be like Jimmy even if they tried. I mean they're doctors so they're in the business of saving lives too, that gives us something in common. And they want to take this slow be friends first which I am more than okay with.
Diane: But?
Nick: But I feel like I have to keep them in a separate part of my life. It feels like my family here and my family in Miami are universes apart and I have to keep it that way. I have to keep it that way because I am trying to move past that douche bag phase in high school and it feels like I'm going back if I keep associating myself with them. God, I don't know if that makes sense.
Diane: …In a way it does. You feel like because they are part of that Caucasian side of your DNA that you're ignoring your Japanese side again. You feel like your mom would be taken back to a time when she was married to your father if you reconnect with his other kids. You feel like you're repaying all of her sacrifices by going behind her back and leaning towards the man that caused her immeasurable pain. Does that sound about right?
Nick: … (Sniffles) Yeah that sounds exactly right.
Diane: Have you ever considered that instead of lionizing your father you're trying to fill that void he left just like his other kids are? Have you considered that your mom wasn't the only wronged party here? That maybe she would understand because she wasn't the only one, he hurt here. Does the woman who raised you seem like someone who would make your attempts at connecting with long lost family an insult towards her?
Nick: You don't know my mom; she is tough she had to be to raise a five-year-old alone after her junkie husband left. She raised me to be a better man than him and I have tried to do that for both of us.
Diane: She sounds like a good mom.
Nick: She is.
Diane: So what reason do you have to think she would admonish you for talking to your half brother and sister who are also trying to be better than their father? Are you speaking for her or for yourself?
Nick: (Shocked and in thought)
Diane: I won't think you less smart if you admit that I'm right.
Nick: (Looks down) Your right. God my poor mom…I'm just making this worse for her keeping this lie up for me. I'm so selfish.
Diane: No. You're 20, you're about 5 years away from a fully developed brain.
Nick: (Grins slightly) Your underpaid, aren't you?
Diane: And overqualified. Which means I don't expect miracles overnight. If you decide you want a closer relationship with your siblings while keeping in touch with your mom, it's fine if you can have both. Don't let your fears and insecurities get in the way of the possibility of having more people who care about you. It's okay to embrace both sides of your identity Evans, no matter what you do it will always be a part of you and no amount of ignoring either will change that.
(Nick sighs and looks down at the ground in thought)
LATER
SCENE: ALEX AND JO'S KITCHEN
(Amber and Alex are eating salads at the table catching up)
Amber: Have you guys picked out names yet?
Alex: No, we're really busy with work and we want to wait till the next ultrasound so we can know the sex. Do you have any ideas?
Amber: Well just one. Amber if it's a girl.
Alex: (Chuckles) Yeah that figures and if it's a boy?
Amber: I haven't gotten that far yet.
Alex: (Grins) Are you gonna be working the pit tomorrow?
Amber: Yeah, I want to help out as much as I can, they already set up an overflow tent. But with the growing protests we need at least 5 overflow tents.
Alex: Bailey must be losing her mind over this. I mean a pandemic is one thing and then this happens.
Amber: Well, it's not like reasons for protests have schedules Alex. But your right Bailey is gonna be in a mood and I want to help her out so I can let her down much easier after the protests.
Alex: Let her down easy? What does that mean?
Amber: (Clears throat) I'm taking a sabbatical for a while, I'm gonna talk to Bailey about taking some time off from the hospital. I need to be somewhere else, somewhere else I'm needed.
Alex: Okay, and where is that? Iowa?
Amber: (Nervous) Um…Europe.
Alex: (Stops eating and looks up) …What?
Amber: Rome specifically.
Alex: (Sighs as he understands) You're going with the DeLuca's.
Amber: Yeah.
Alex: When did you decide this?
Amber: The night George Floyd was killed. I told Andrew I was gonna go with him and help out at the hospital Carina did her residency at. I'm gonna talk to Bailey about keeping my spot open until immigration opens again and Carina can renew her visa.
Alex: You're making a mistake.
Amber: (Glares at Alex) I love him, if this was Jo you would do the exact same thing as me. I don't need your permission, Alex; I just wanted you to know before Bailey does.
Alex: You just got out of recovery, traveling to another country is not something you need not now.
Amber: I'm not immunocompromised and I'm going to another country with two doctors I won't be completely helpless.
Alex: You're going to a country with the highest covid rate so far. What if you get sick over there? The possibility is twice as likely as it is here and you won't have me, Webber or Pierce to treat you.
Amber: They have doctors over there too, it's Italy not the middle east.
Alex: At the state it's in it might as well be. Have you thought this through?
Amber: I have and it's scary and I am scared as hell but Andrew needs me. Italy is hell right now and as crazy as it sounds, I want to help. I can use some of my American ways to aid them and hey I can smuggle in PPE.
Alex: I get that you don't want to be away from DeLuca I do but-
Amber: You married Izzie when she was dying, did you get this much judgement from Mer when you made that decision?
Alex: That was different.
Amber: Yeah, you're right, you made a lifelong commitment at the spur of the moment. I thought a lot about this before deciding to leave for a while to help the man I love who's forced to leave with his sister and help his home country in the process.
Alex: I'm just trying to protect you.
Amber: I don't need protection; I've done that for myself since I was 16 in case you forgot.
Alex: I didn't and I'm trying to make up for that now.
Amber: (Sighs) …I love you Alex, but I also love Andrew. So don't make me choose because you're not gonna like my choice.
Alex: You're really serious about this aren't you?
Amber: I am. Now I can either leave angry at you or leave with your blessing but either way Alex I'm leaving.
(Alex sighs and leans back in his chair)
LATER THAT NIGHT
SCENE: STATION 19
(Nick is back in the turnout room alone pacing back and forth holding his phone gaining courage. After a few moments he finally calls his mom who answers immediately)
Naomi: Nicky! This is a nice surprise, two calls in two days, is it Mother's Day already?
Nick: (Chuckles) Not yet I just…I just wanted to talk and see how you are, how are you?
Naomi: Well, I finally got that loan from the bank to keep the store afloat so that's good news and bad news. I'm taking on more gigs with local bands to help out it's mostly weddings and quinceneras but it's something.
Nick: Mom you know I'm making money again so I can-
Naomi: No absolutely not, I am not gonna take any money from my child. I would be like Dina Lohan and you know how much I hate those kinds of moms.
Nick: Yeah I do but the offer still stands.
Naomi: Save your money Nicky, it should go to a new apartment.
Nick: (Groans) Mom how many times have I told you I go by Nick now? Nicky is a skinny 12-year-old obsessed with Minecraft.
Naomi: You'll always be Nicky to me and nothing will change my mind, Nicky.
Nick: Fine. Mom, I need to tell you something.
Naomi: How much do you need?
Nick: No, it's not money it's…I love you and I appreciate everything you've done for me. I want you to know that and nothing I say or do will ever change that for me please believe that.
Naomi: Again, how much do you need?
Nick: (Swallows) …I met them.
Naomi: Met who?
Nick: I…I met Jimmy's son and daughter; their names are Alex and Amber.
Naomi: (Silent from shock)
Nick: I met them a week ago, I was dating Amber's best friend and they found out about me from him. It uh it took a while but eventually we got to talking and…we decided to be friends. I met Alex's son and daughter and… (Grins) they are the best kids I've ever met. I don't remember Jimmy but I know Alex and Amber are nothing like him, as far as I can tell they are kind, tough and helpful. I'm getting to know them and I'm trying to figure out what kind of relationship we can have. I need you to know that it doesn't change how I feel about Jimmy or you. I'm not trying to take after him I'm just…I'm just trying to fix what he broke.
Naomi: (Inhales) …I know you are I know that you are nothing like your father and I know…I know that you wouldn't have met your brother and sister if you didn't think it was best for you. I just hope that it's the one good thing that can come from your father's mistakes.
Nick: Yeah, me too…hey mom can I ask you something?
Naomi: Anything.
Nick: Um…Alex and Amber took their mom's last name after Jimmy left them. How come you never changed your name back to Tanaka?
Naomi: Do you mean, why did I keep your father's name?
Nick: Yeah.
Naomi: Because it's your name too honey.
Nick: (Touched and stays silent for a moment)
Naomi: Nicky?
Nick: I'm still here I just…have I ever told you how amazing you are?
Naomi: No but I know you think that.
Nick: (Grins) Well you're amazing and I'm glad you stayed instead of dad.
Naomi: Me too. I have to go honey I have a gig to get to.
Nick: Yeah, I love you bye.
Naomi: I love you too, bye.
(Nick hangs up and exhales in relief before going to the beanery to find Travis, Vic and Dean talking at the table)
Nick: Hey what are we talking about?
Vic: The protests, captain gave the all clear so we're gonna go tomorrow after our shift.
Nick: Cool hey uh is it okay if I come with you guys? Or is this 19 veterans only?
Dean: Uh no it's cool man, the more the better.
Travis: Yeah, and hey two Asian guys can raise awareness for Stop Asian Hate.
Nick: Don't worry I already posted a bunch of hashtags on my socials. Look um…I'm not proud of this but back when I was in high school, I said things that are tantamount to what Dixon and those cops said.
(The three of them look at Nick in quiet shock)
Nick: I didn't know how to fit in with the crowd except to act like what they say is cool and…I'm trying to make up for that. I'll understand if you don't want me to march with you guys.
Dean: …We were all stupid high schoolers too newbie.
Vic: Yeah, and we didn't let it hold us back from being better people. As long as your doing that you can carry water bottles for us tomorrow.
Travis: And maybe bring some hand sani from your surgeon brother and sister.
Nick: (Chuckles) I'll ask them thanks.
(Jack comes in and approaches them standing next to Nick)
Jack: Hey, I was thinking tomorrow after shift, Captain Bishop has given the all-clear for us to go to a protest.
Vic: Us?
Jack: I'd like to go if you'll have me.
(They all take a beat)
Dean: Cool.
Vic: Yeah.
Dean: Um, but if anybody comes at us with weapons, it is your job to put your body between us and them.
Jack: Got it.
Vic: Yeah, he's not kidding.
Dean: (Serious) I'm not kidding.
Jack: I kinda figured, yeah.
Vic: (Laughs) Okay.
(Nick grins at them before coming to his senses on a matter)
Nick: You guys all negative for covid?
Dean: Uh yeah.
Travis: I'm clean.
Vic: I tested negative.
Jack: So did I, why?
Nick: My shift just ended, and my new sort of family are throwing a small covid restricted dinner in their backyard.
Vic: Really? How many people?
Nick: Well the Grey's backed out so it's only (counts) 7, 8 if you include the dog.
Dean: There's a dog?
Nick: Yeah, but don't worry he's friendly. I was thinking maybe you guys could come with me, I figured some wine and barbecue the night before a protest would be good for us.
Jack: (Interested) Now you say barbeque, what kind of meat are we talking here?
Nick: Um steak I think and Amber said baby back ribs. What do you guys think?
(The four of them take a beat to think it over)
LATER THE NIGHT
SCENE: ALEX AND JO'S HOUSE
(Amber is on the couch drinking wine watching Hannah Montana with Alexis)
Amber: I don't get it. I mean she just wears a wig; you think people would recognize her without it.
Alexis: Mommy says that if logic existed on kids shows they wouldn't have lasted as long.
Amber: Yeah she's got a point.
Andrew: (Comes inside) Okay steaks are ready and so are the baby back ribs. I think we've made enough for 20 people.
Amber: (Sips wine) I don't know why, with the Grey-Shepherd-Pierce family out we'll be lucky if the dog finishes the food for us.
Andrew: I would call Carina but she's with Maya tonight. Why don't we call Schmitt and he can invite-
Amber: Nope.
Andrew: (Looks at her) Come on, you can't hold a grudge forever, I know you can but you shouldn't.
Alexis: Why do you have a grudge against Levi?
Amber: Um…it's something you will learn when you've reached my height.
Alexis: Why?
Andrew: Because it's not a kid friendly topic like Hannah Montana. If you want answers, you're gonna have to ask your parents. I'll be in the back putting some of the place settings back since there's less people than we planned.
(Andrew leaves them in the living room)
Alexis: (To Amber) Do you love him?
Amber: (Looks at her startled) How can you tell?
Alexis: Because you look at him like Miley looks at Jake. Was he why you were upset the other day?
Amber: Sort of but don't worry we made up…in fact I'm going away with him for a while.
Alexis: Why? It's not safe to travel.
Amber: We both know that but Andrew is from Italy and we both know it's really bad over there so he wants to help and so does his sister. I'm going with them so I can help too and so I won't be sad when he's not here.
Alexis: But we'll be sad if you're not here.
Amber: (Touched) I know sweetie but it's not forever it's just for a little while.
Alexis: How long will you be gone?
Amber: …It's hard to say but when I know you will be the first one I tell, I promise.
Alexis: (Looks down sad)
Amber: Hey come on, I'll be okay I swear. I know it's scary but it's something I have to do; I want to do this and I'm gonna need your guys' support. Can you do that?
Alexis: …We almost lost you last month, are we gonna lose you now?
Amber: Oh, honey you're not gonna lose me, you could never lose me. If you think for one second I am not gonna continue Hannah Montana with you in another country you are wrong. You kids are stuck with me and I'm stuck with you.
Alexis: (Holds pinky out) Pinky swear?
Amber: (Grins and locks her pinky with Alexis's) Pinky swear.
(The doorbell rings)
Amber: I gotta take that, let me know if Miley finally tells Jake she likes him.
Alexis: You know she's going to.
(Amber stands up, puts her mask on and opens the front door surprised to find Nick, Travis, Vic, Dean and Jack on the other side)
Amber: (Surprised) Hi.
Nick: Hey I hope I'm not too late for those baby back ribs.
Amber: No, you're just in time and I see you brought friends.
Nick: I hope that's okay I just wanted to give them a night to unwind before we march tomorrow.
Amber: Yeah, no that's fine in fact it's great come on in.
Vic: (Sniffles and comes in) Mmm something smells good.
Travis: (Comes in) Hey how are you?
Amber: Good I'm alive thanks to you so.
Dean: (Comes in) There's steak, right?
Amber: (Chuckles) In the back yeah.
Jack: (Comes in) Hey, thanks for having us.
Amber: Thanks for eating the massive amount of food we have.
(Amber closes the door and walks to the backyard with Nick)
Amber: So listen about what I said earlier it was presumptuous and I'm sorry if I offended you in any way.
Nick: You didn't okay it's…you apologizing for something you didn't mean is enough to show me your not a racist. We're good Amber.
Amber: Are you sure? (Nick nods) Okay good and I'm really glad you're gonna march tomorrow, I just hope I don't see you in the ER that day.
Nick: Yeah, you and me both.
Alexis: (Spots Nick and runs to him) Nick!
Nick: (Grins) Hey Alexis, the station hasn't been the same without you, nobody could handle the clipboard like you.
Amber: Aw that's too bad.
Nick: (Whispers) Don't tell cap I said that she'll kill me.
Amber: (Laughs) Well come on, you two that food isn't gonna feed itself. Let's go.
(They head to the back where Jo and Izzie are sitting on the Adirondack chairs drinking watching Eli play with the dog, Alex is barbequing, Andrew is setting the plates and utensils on the table and looks up surprised by the guests)
Andrew: Hey I thought this was a dinner not a party.
Amber: It is but we decided to fill in the Grey's places with freakishly attractive firefighters, it was Nick's idea not mine.
Nick: Yeah I'm Nick the guy to blame for this intrusion.
Andrew: Hey it's good to officially meet you man, I've heard a lot from Amber about you.
Nick: (Chuckles) I bet; I'm guessing you're the boyfriend?
Vic: And the brother of the woman dating our captain.
Travis: (Chuckles) And then there's Maya who dated A-
Amber: (Covers Alexis's ears) I know you saved my life but don't expose the twisted connections in front of a six-year-old unless you want me to twist certain parts of yours.
Alexis: (Takes Amber's hands off her ears) What is it?
Andrew: Uh nothing, hey how about you go and help your dad I think he's trying to decide if he should cross mark the steaks or not.
Dean: Oh, he better come on let's show your daddy how a real man makes steaks.
(Dean and Alexis walk away to help Alex. Eli comes up to them with Jazz, he stands in front of Amber who puts her hands on his shoulders. Vic gasps at the dog)
Vic: (Kneels down and pets Jazz) Hi puppy! Oh my god your so cute yes you are! What's his name?
Amber: Jazz, he's kind of the family dog, oh who am I kidding he's officially our dog. (Squeezes Eli's shoulders) And this little maniac is Eli Stevens, Eli you remember Nick from the other day right? He's a firefighter that came to help us.
Nick: (Grins) Hey Eli I'm glad you're doing better, these are the people I work with. This is Vic and Travis.
Eli: Are you all firefighters?
Travis: Yeah, that's right buddy, do you like firefighters?
Eli: They are so cool.
Vic: Aww thanks I know doctors are getting the spotlight now but it's nice to know we're still cool to your generation.
(Jack comes out after using the bathroom)
Jack: Man, this house it so nice, have you guys seen the fancy soap they have?
Nick: (Chuckles) Hey man uh Eli this is my co worker Jack, Jack this is Eli. (Turns to Andrew) And this is-
Andrew: (Frosty tone) Yeah, I know who he is.
Amber: (Looks at him) Andrew.
Jack: (Chuckles uneasily) I'm sorry you are?
Andrew: Andrew DeLuca, I'm Carina's brother.
Jack: (Frowns as he understands) Oh.
Nick: (Looks at them confused) Do you two know each other?
Amber: (Shakes her head) Don't.
Andrew: Bella, do you mind?
Amber: (Sighs and covers Eli's ears)
Andrew: Is he still sleeping with my sister's girlfriend or has he moved back to his coworker's wives?
Nick: (Wide eyes and looks at Amber)
Amber: (Purses lips covering Eli's ears)
Jack: (Clears throat) Um I'm gonna-
Vic: Play with the dog with me?
Travis: And me?
Jack: Yeah.
(Jack, Travis and Vic go to the yard with Jazz playing fetch with him. Amber puts her hands out of Eli's ears looking at Andrew with a knowing face)
Andrew: (Acts innocent) What? I didn't say anything.
Amber: I'm not getting involved, hey Eli why don't you get the pasta salad from the fridge and we can eat in a bit?
Eli: Okay.
(Eli moves inside leaving Amber with Nick and Andrew)
Nick: (Still processing) Wow, I see the twisted connections you were talking about.
Amber: Oh yeah, and then there's Vic with Avery after he broke up with Pierce and her fiancé died.
Nick: …Got it.
Andrew: (Chuckles) Relax man we have twisted connections at the hospital too, I mean before Amber I dated Pierce and she dated Maya.
Amber: Yeah, and then there was Schmitt who slept with Jo.
Andrew: I still can't believe she did that.
Amber: (Chuckles) Yeah, me too.
Nick: (Wide eyes) I'm sorry what? Levi and Jo?
Amber: Relax it was one night and it was before he found out he was gay. Oh my god heads up here she comes.
Jo: (Walks up and greets them) Hey, is this him?
Amber: (Chuckles) Yeah this is him although your timing is bad.
Jo: Um okay. (Turns to Nick) Hey I'm Jo, I'm Alex's wife, you must be Nick.
Nick: Um yeah, I'm Nick, sorry I'm just trying to…process some shocking information.
Andrew: (Chuckles) Yeah, we told him about the time you did Schmitt before he did.
Amber: (Drinks beer) Oh god I think we need a chart or something.
Jo: (Swallows) Oh…wow believe me that was a moment of insanity that I regretted after. I am in no way interested in him but I fully support if you are. I mean I'm married to your brother and I love him and Levi is great, not for me but definitely for you and-
Nick: Okay, it's fine okay, I was shocked but your rambling got me out of it so…I'm gonna get a drink.
Andrew: Yeah, I'll come with you. The drinks are in the fridge come on.
(Andrew and Nick leave to go inside. Jo glares at Amber when they're left alone)
Amber: What? We were talking about his teammates sleeping together and that led to me telling him all the connections at the hospital. It's not my fault one of those include you with my gay best friend who also slept with your new brother-in-law.
Jo: (Groans) I am in serious need of a margarita but my baby isn't.
Amber: (Laughs) Come on I'll drink and you can live vicariously through me.
(Jo and Amber leave to go sit with Izzie)
MEANWHILE IN THE KITCHEN
(Andrew and Nick drink beers on the counter catching up)
Andrew: So how are things at the station? Are things still tense?
Nick: Things are getting more tense if that was possible. I mean with the spat against PD and Miller's lawsuit this news just amplified it to 110 dB.
Andrew: Yeah its around 95 at the hospital.
Nick: (Looks at him surprised)
Andrew: What? I play guitar.
Nick: (Chuckles) Yeah me too, son of a musician and a guitar tech, it's kind of a given.
Andrew: Yeah my dad taught me too.
Nick: Have you played lately?
Andrew: No I've been busy.
Nick: Yeah, me too. I mean the last time I played was my date with Schmitt and (Chuckles darkly) let's just say it didn't end on a high note.
Andrew: Yeah I heard you got dumped man sorry, I've been there.
Nick: It's fine, I think finding out he slept with a woman who is also my sister-in-law kind of makes me less sad that he left.
Andrew: (Curls lips) Yeah, I know the feeling man trust me. My sister dives right in after my exes without even talking to me first. Before your boss came in Carina wasn't the relationship type at all.
Nick: Yeah, it's the same with all of us. From what I've heard their exes were either married, killed in the field, ranked battalion chief or left them to raise their daughter. I mean I've had drama in Miami but I never felt like living in those telenovelas my aunt binge watches.
Andrew: (Laughs) Yeah it's the same at the hospital.
Nick: Oh yeah? How so?
Andrew: How much time do you have?
LATER IN THE BACKYARD
(Amber, Jo and Izzie are drinking their respective drinks watching the kids play beanbag toss with Vic and Jack)
Izzie: (Grins) Ah it's the first time I've seen them this happy to be around strangers in a long time.
Jo: Well, they're starving for human interaction and it doesn't hurt that they have jobs cooler than ours. It's the only time I will ever admit it and don't repeat it.
Amber: (Chuckles and sips margarita) Yeah, I think the team is happy too, it must be nice to be around innocence after all the horror they've seen…If you could erase one world problem right now, what would it be?
Jo: (Sips mineral water) Just one?
Amber: Just one.
Izzie: (Sighs) …pandemics. I know it's obvious but-
Jo: No it's not, it's exactly what I was gonna say. I mean before I would have said overworked foster systems but now I'd kill for herd immunity right now.
Amber: Yeah, me too. I would choose human trafficking, that's what I would erase.
Jo: That's a good one.
Amber: Yeah, or maybe immigration laws, now that I know firsthand how horrible it is to be kicked out of a country by people who don't know your pain.
Izzie: I'm guessing you're still pissed about the boyfriend moving.
Amber: Yeah, I think I need an unlimited supply of margaritas to get through my life if it continues like this.
Jo: Preaching to the choir sister.
Izzie: I survived cancer so I think that gift is mine.
Amber: Okay I'll give you that one, cancer trumps all problems.
Izzie: Damn right it does, oh god listen to me commending myself for almost dying. I think it's margarita number 3.
Jo: (Takes glass) Yeah let's take this away from you.
Amber: (Sips margarita) I'm going with him. (Jo and Izzie look at Amber) I'm going to Italy with Andrew to be with him.
Jo: (Wide eyes) Wow look at you taking a leap, I think you're growing up on me.
Izzie: Yeah usually I expect silence and brooding from your Karev's but I guess to each his own.
Amber: Yeah thanks for being happy for me guys because honestly I'm not even sure I'm happy about it.
Jo: Than why are you moving to the covid hotspot with Andrew?
Amber: (Sighs) Because I love him and because this year has been nonstop. I mean pandemics happened, fires, new niece and nephew, car accident and now black people getting killed by cops it's…life is short. I want to hold on to the things I care about more now that I know how much time matters.
Izzie: But one of the things you care about is forced to relocate back home.
Amber: Yep and unlike some women I'm not gonna repay his loyalty by leaving him to dry.
Izzie: (Glares at Amber)
Jo: Let's blame that on margarita number 4.
Izzie: Yeah I think I need that right now as well as serenity excuse me.
Jo: (Hands her the glass as she walks away) Don't eat all the cookies.
(Izzie walks away leaving Jo and Amber behind)
Amber: Do you think I'm making a mistake?
Jo: I guess it depends; do you love him enough to want to do this for him?
Amber: …You know I always thought a girl who follows her boyfriend across the country was a dumb thing to do and damaging to your life but…now I know it doesn't make you weak it makes you strong. I am strong enough to do this for me and Andrew, I am strong enough to leave a life of comfort and explore new territory and I am strong enough to face this with him. I don't care what Alex says or thinks because I know what I need to do for me and for Andrew. If you don't love someone that much what chance do you have of making it? What kind of relationship is it if you don't weather the storms together?
Jo: (Grins and looks at Amber with pride) Look at you.
Amber: Look at me what?
Jo: Look at you, Amber Karev, a relationship expert.
Amber: (Chuckles) Yeah, I know. It's weird huh?
Jo: (Grins) It really is but I think you really did grow up on me just now. Cheers to that.
Amber: Cheers.
(They clink their drinks together)
THE NEXT MORNING
SCENE: STATION 19
(The team gets ready to leave to march when Maya stands in front of them)
Maya: 19. Hopefully this goes without saying, but although you have the right to peacefully protest and my wholehearted support, I trust that you will not engage in any activity or action that will bring discredit to you, 19, or the SFD. 19.
All: 19!
(They all head out to the crowd on the street to march and protest)
THATS THE END OF PART ONE, PART TWO WILL BE POSTED TOMORROW. THANKS FOR READING AND REVIEWS ARE WELCOME.