"Wake up, Commander."
The voice snapped the Commander to his senses. He opened his eyes to find himself slumped over in a chair positioned in front of an executive desk; quickly looking around, the Commander realized that he was in some kind of office. A presumably middle-aged man in a suit sat behind the desk, a large window overlooking the cityscape behind him. The Commander didn't recognize the man, and nothing on the desk seemed to give any clues as to who he was or his affiliations. Behind the Commander, a couple of men in security uniforms stood at the door.
"Urgh...Who are you?" The Commander uttered groggily, still trying to get his bearings.
"Me, Commander? I am the God of the universe." The man stated matter-of-factly without a hint of jest or sarcasm.
Nevertheless, the Commander sat in silence, waiting for the punchline. After none came, he finally spoke up. "Look, no offense, Mister...'God', but I'm sure you can understand that I'm not in the mood for jokes right now. Why don't we skip straight to the point? Who are you and what do you want with me?"
"It is no joke, Commander. I am the God of your world and several others."
The Commander raised an eyebrow. "...You're supposed to be a God? You sure as hell don't look like one."
"What does a God look like, Commander?" The man challenged bluntly.
The Commander scrunched his face in thought as he cast his look aside. He had gotten him there, he supposed.
As for why I brought you here..." God paused and let out a heavy sigh. "I'm going to be honest with you, Commander. After looking at your latest performance review, I'm afraid that you just haven't been making the cut..."
"'Making the cut'?...What are you talking about?" The Commander asked.
The God of the Universe continued. "You've been consistently underperforming in just about every department, Commander...Detrimentally so. It is getting progressively more and more difficult to justify your being here, and frankly, it has come to the point where I think you and your position are no longer fit for one another. I'm afraid that I, as well as several others, have come to the conclusion that it would be to the benefit of all parties involved if you were let go."
"...Wait...you're firing me...from life?!"
God nodded. "We have deemed that you are no longer fit for this world. It is not all bad news, however - one of our subsidiaries has an opening."
God turned the screen of his desktop towards the Commander, which contained images of what looked to be some kind of fantasy world before continuing. "In the world known as Desolation, the forces of Malevolence ravage the land, corrupting and twisting all that it touches. Only a true hero will be able to bring balance to the forces of light and dark and drive back the-"
"No! What the fuck is this?!" The Commander interjected suddenly. "How about I refuse, what happens then?"
"Well...I could offer you a battle you'd have no chance of winning...Though that would be quite the anti-climax considering all that you've been through." God stated.
The Commander stood from his seat and leaned onto the desk. "Look, asshole - I don't work for you, you got that? I don't even know why I'm bothering to hear you out. Here's what we're gonna do - Your gorillas back there are going to let me out of this office, give me a ride back to Earth, you're never going to drag me here ever again, and in return, I won't get angry and start breaking things."
God was unfazed by the Commander's outburst as he sat in his chair. "It would be in your best interests to calm down, Commander. I know that-"
Suddenly the Commander sniffed loudly. "Wait a minute...that smell...is that diesel?..."
"I would focus on your current predicament, Commander, not irrelevant details." God tried to refocus, but the Commander grew progressively suspicious.
"Hang on...I think I know what's going on here." The Commander suddenly proclaimed.
With that, the Commander lunged forward and gripped "God" by the face, tearing it off in a single stroke to reveal what was underneath: A white Isuzu Box Truck.
"Ah-ha! I knew it!" The Commander declared triumphantly as he stared the Truck in the headlights.
The Truck reeled back as it realized it had been made. "Seems like we're doing this the hard way, then...Get 'em, boys!"
Suddenly, a fleet of Kei Trucks smashed into the room and barreled straight towards the Commander.
"Oh, shit!" The Commander cried out and tore straight for the exit, smashing through the door before the guards could grab him.
As the Commander ran down the hallway, it was as if he was having an out-of-body experience. He found his line of sight somehow facing the front of himself, giving him a full view of the front of his own body as well as his pursuers as he ran down the dark corridor. He could see nothing of what was in front of him, only managing to spot the holes in the floor as he came within inches of them, giving him a mere second to either move himself to the opposite side of the hall or outright leap over them as the Kei trucks chased behind him, somehow driving straight over the holes.
Suddenly, the "camera" panned to the side to reveal ST AR-15 and her bike driving next to him.
"Fancy meeting you here, Commander. Need a lift?" STAR asked.
Without hesitation, the Commander jumped on the back of the bike. "You're a lifesaver, Star! Let's blow this joint!"
STAR grinned. "I've been waiting my whole life for you to say that, Commander."
STAR suddenly pulled out a clacker from underneath her jacket.
The Commander's eyes widened in terror. "NO, WAIT! NOT LIKE THA-"
The ground rumbled and quaked as a wall of fire shot towards them, all the Commander could do was close his eyes and accept his fate as the flames enveloped him...
But when the Commander opened his eyes, he realized it wasn't fire - it was confetti.
All of the sudden, the bike turned to jello, which wobbled uncontrollably and sent the Commander toppling off the bike. STAR was somehow completely unaffected and continued to drive off into the distance without him. The Commander turned to face his pursuers, but found the trucks floating away because they were balloons. The sight reminded him that he was late for somebody's birthday party, but he found himself panicking because he forgot to buy a present and the birthday in question was a big enough deal that all of the stores were closed in observance of it. The Commander concluded that Yubitsume was the only way to preserve his honor for such a failure, but remembered that he had loaned his tanto to an orange tabby.
The Commander then deduced that the only recourse was to curl up into a ball and start to cry.
"Right here...drop him." A staticy voice faded in.
The first thing the Commander felt after his senses returned was him smacking into the cold metal floor as his kidnappers released his arms. His thoughts were a jumbled mess, what had just happened? Where was he? He remembered something about...an office...falling off a bike...he got really sad about...something...
"Take the bag off." The same voice commanded.
The cold air rushed on the Commander's face as the bag was ripped off his head, he breathed in the fresh air, at least fresh compared to the stuffy air inside the bag, as his eyes adjusted to his surroundings. He appeared to be on some kind of metal walkway, the room was definitely spacious judging by the acoustics, it reminded him of some kind of hangar.
A gloved hand gripped his head by the hair and pulled it back, tilting it to face the leader of the group: A large, stocky man wearing a black jacket underneath a black plate carrier with urban-digital patterned cargo pants with integrated kneepads, a striker-fired pistol with a closed-emitter sight mounted to the slide visible in the holster on his right hip. Covering his face was a black gas-mask with smoke-tinted lenses which obscured his features completely underneath a black helmet.
These guys weren't Paradeus or KCCO, but they were definitely not just your ordinary thugs either...
The Commander spat out the blood in his mouth. "Do you have any idea who you're fucking with?"
The Merc knelt down to the Commander's level. "You're the Sector 09 Commander of Griffin & Kryuger PMC, currently under contract by the German Stasi as a Counter-Terror consultant."
"That's right. I think now's the part where you let me go and apologize for the misunderstanding."
"And why the fuck would we do that?" The Merc challenged.
"If you know so much about me, you shouldn't have to ask."
"What? That your base was shelled to oblivion when separatist factions from the Russian Military launched a surprise attack? That the majority of your forces have been destroyed and your company has been struggling to pick up the pieces since? You're not the only person with a private army, Commander, and yours is in a very sorry state. And if you think the spooks are going to give enough of a rats-ass to send people after a glorified rent-a-cop like yourself, well, I've got a vial of Idunn I can sell to you." The Merc dismissed as he stood back to his feet.
"The pot's calling the kettle black...Even through the mask, I can tell you're an American. You've got Merc written all over you...So who the hell are you guys? Murkywater? SSC? Displace International? USEC?"
"You can call us the Blunderbuss Group." The Merc answered.
"There's definitely a blunder happening..." The Commander cracked.
"Bwahaha!" One of the Mercs holding the Commander by the arms cackled. "Motherfucker thinks he's Deadpool...Hey, Sergeant, why don't we cut off his dick and see if it grows back?"
"As amusing as the thought is, the Client gave us strict orders to keep him in one piece for now, I suppose they've got a soft-spot for dumb animals." The Sergeant stated.
"Explains their hiring practices-" The Commander mocked, before immediately being slugged in the back of the head with a baton, sending his head slamming to the metal floor.
"...Though, if you want to continue your little comedy act, you'll learn real quick that my boys and I prefer slapstick to stand up."
The Commander groaned in pain as his head seared, warm blood trickling down the back of his neck. "What the fuck do you want from me?..." He hissed out through clenched teach.
"Those Dolls you sent on that little 'Holiday' might have been a bunch of gullible suckers, Commander, but the one smart thing they did that night was swipe that credit card and let it go. You, on the other hand? Thinking reversing that transaction is gonna change a damn thing about your situation? That was stupid, Commander. You might not owe the bank anymore, but now you owe our client, and they intend to get back every cent, plus interest."
So, this whole deal was over the resort...But, something didn't sit right...
"Alright...I'll tell you what - you let me go, and I'll go get the cash from my base. I'll be right back, pinky promise." The Commander said sarcastically.
The Sergeant cackled in amusement. "I'm sure you would, Commander...But the Client has something else for you in mind..."
As the Merc gestured to the side, Commander felt his head being turned to the side to face where he was pointing.
A large bipedal mech towered a good 30 feet above him at the least, suspended by an assortment of mountings. It was bulky in size, its armored core covered in thick plating gave it a sturdy amount of heft. A belt-fed machine gun larger than any small-arm the Commander had seen was connected to its left arm, the bullets visible on the belt easily the size of a normal-sized rifle, a bayonet protruded from underneath the barrel, though it looked more like some kind of polearm. On its right arm, a thick telescoping shield. On its back were more weapons, some kind of energy cannon on its left shoulder, and some kind of blade on its right...however that was supposed to work. Green and brown camouflage paint coated its exterior.
"This, Commander, is how you're going to buy your life back." The Sergeant finally spoke.
"What, you want me to run your Used-Mech lot?" The Commander jeered.
"You know exactly what we want, Commander. You're going to do some work for us, and this here is going to be your new best friend while you do it."
"Did you even read my file?! I was Infantry, not a fucking Mech Tanker! Do you think this is one of those video games where you can just hop into tanks and jets like a one-man-army?"
"You don't need to worry about that, Commander. After the augmentation process, it will feel like a second-skin to you...And we'll be able to make sure you don't do something unwise, like turn it on us or try to scamper off."
The Commander felt his blood freeze. "Augmentations?..."
"That's right. We're gonna turn you into a six million dollar man, Commander. You'll be footing the bill for that too, of course, plus a little interest. How about it, Commander?"
"How about you and your buddies go and fuck yourselves? I'll be right here when you get back."
"Somehow I knew you'd say that." The Sergeant sighed and moved his hand to his radio. "Roll her in."
The doors at the end of the walkway suddenly swung open, the sound of wheels rattling filled the air as a gurney was rolled up to the Sergeant's side. As the Commander was pulled to his feet, he saw the familiar woman covered in bandages laying on the gurney.
"Kalina?..." The Commander uttered.
"Commander..." Kalina groaned weakly from the gurney.
The Sergeant crossed his arms dominantly. "I told you we knew who you were, Commander...You and your friends. Now, I'm going to give you a choice, Commander - Get in the fucking robot, or Kalina will have to do it."
"Aaaahhhh..." Kalina groaned again. "Commander...please...don't make me...I'm too weak..."
A realization began to dawn on the Commander as he began to recall the events before he got kidnapped. "Wait a minute..."
"Is this really such a hard choice for you, Commander? Look at your poor little Kalina, are you really going to have her stand in for you? You're a cold motherfucker, Commander." The Sergeant taunted.
Kalina continued to groan. "Aaahhh...the pain...the pain...Mother of Mercy...Is this the end...of poor little Kalina?..."
"Ahem." The Sergeant suddenly cleared his throat loudly. "So, what's it gonna be, Com-"
"So cold...why am I...so cold?...And only two days...until retirement..." Kalina groaned out once again.
The Commander silently turned his gaze from Kalina to the Sergeant, who he could tell was growing progressively more rattled.
"Argh!" The Sergeant growled out. "Enough bullshittin' around! What's it gonna be Commander?! Either you get in that robot, or I will carve your friend up like a fuckin' Christmas Turkey and stuff her in it!"
The Commander slowly crossed his arms. "Alright, make Kalina do it then."
"WHAT?!" Kalina suddenly bellowed out as she sprang up on the gurney, her façade of weakness vanishing in an instant.
"I knew it." The Commander declared.
"Damn it, Director! He was buying it until you opened your mouth!" The Sergeant scolded.
"Director?!" The Commander exclaimed. "You started your own firm?! Behind my back?! Where the hell did you even find investors for this?!"
Suddenly the doors at the end of the walkway swung open again, a man in a red trench coat identical to the Commander's standard issue Griffin uniform darted down the walkway, a large briefcase in hand. As the man drew closer, the Commander realized that he recognized him - a young Asian man with short black hair and a set of glasses.
"Shi Jun?..." The Commander uttered as the man ran past him, panting exhaustedly as he rushed to Kalina's side.
Shi Jun popped the latches on the briefcase, opening it to reveal a mound of rough stones. "I've brought the gems, my honey-angel. This should cover the cost."
The Commander gazed in awe at the sheer amount of gems his fellow Commander was forking over. "What the hell...That's...How did you even get that kind of money?!"
"I remortgaged my house in the green-zone, Commander." Shi Jun answered.
"Wha-?! Aw no, come on man! Don't let her do that to you!" The Commander cried out.
"I need to do this, Commander! Kalina will only be stocking this line of inventory for another week!"
"Wait-...Are you talking about the suits?! But those are for...Ange never loans DEFY to you!"
"It doesn't matter, Commander! I will do anything for my precious honey-angel!"
"Damn it, Shi Jun! Snap out of it! Don't you see what's going on here?!"
"Aww...Shi Jun, the Commander's being a big meanie again..." Kalina looked pitifully at Shi Jun, staring up at him with innocent puppy-eyes.
"Do not worry, honey-angel! Let me buy some tokens too! I'll roll as many times as it takes to get those detective outfits! Anything to see you smile!" Shi Jun produced another briefcase seemingly out of thin air.
All the Commander could do was stare, silently playing out a three-volley salute in his head for his fallen comrade.
"Fuck...I just remembered, I still gotta pay my child support this month..." One of the Mercs beside him quietly lamented.
The Commander watched pityingly as Kalina dumped the pile of tokens into Shi Jun's hand, who then stuffed them in his pockets.
"Thank you for your patronage!" Kalina gleefully chirped.
"Any time, my honey-angel!" Shi Jun bowed excitedly before taking off back towards the exit. "Gotta run, Commander, I'll see you around! Hey - you're still coming to the softball game next Saturday, right? Catch you then, my man!"
"Shi Jun! Wait! Don't leave me here with her! SHI JUN!" The Commander cried out as his fellow Commander briskly made his exit, the sound of the doors slamming behind him echoed throughout the hangar. The Commander turned back to Kalina, seething in anger. "You are unbelievable!"
"Not nearly as unbelievable as you are, Commander...trying to run away and leave me all alone after all we had been through!" Kalina shot back.
"What the hell are you talking about?! I'm still working for the company, I'm not retiring yet!"
"But you will, one day...I can see it, you're going to put one of my oath rings on one of those dolls of yours, and then you're going to scamper off to some green-zone, aren't you?! You're going to leave me all alone, even after all the hours I've spent stuffed into that data room writing combat reports, counting bullets in the storeroom, all the sleepless nights, the 72 hour shifts, and then you're just going to leave!" Kalina tearfully ranted. "But not anymore...I'm going to make sure you can never leave...I thought saddling you in so much debt that only a PMC's salary could make ends meet for you would be enough, but I see now that you're too crafty for that...I'll need to resort to more extreme measures!"
The Commander watched as Kalina's demeanor grew progressively more deranged with every word. "...Have you lost your goddamned mind?"
Kalina merely laughed as she drew closer to the Commander. "Ehehehe, no, Commander, I can see more clearly than I ever have in my entire life! I know what must be done now...I'm going to make you my debt slave...Forever..."
She'd gone completely nuts...
"Damn it, Kalina! I don't know what's gotten into you, but you need to snap out of it! This isn't you!"
"Ehehehe, not a chance, Commander. I've already invested a fortune into this endeavor, and somebody's gonna have to give me a return on my investment. Sergeant Cross, take him away."
"Yes ma'am." The Sergeant nodded before signaling his men.
The Mercs threw the sack back over the Commander's head as he shifted and struggled under their restraint.
"Damn it, get the hell off of me! Kalina! We're not finished yet! KALINA!" The Commander howled as the Mercs briskly dragged him out of the hangar and into the hallway.
"It's been a while since they entered, and I haven't seen anybody coming out..." ST AR-15 slowly lowered her binoculars from across the street, looking up at the sign above the butcher shop's storefront - 'K's Kuts'
"Suppose they aren't just grabbing a T-Bone on the way back to the base, then." M4A1's voice sounded over the radio.
"I definitely wouldn't count on it, I think I got salmonella just looking through the storefront. This is a front company if I've ever seen one."
"Do you think they're holding him in the back?"
"That would be my knee-jerk guess, but something's not right...I've been seeing too many of those masked men entering the place, lots of deliveries coming too, pallets of stuff being unloaded...there's no way such a small storefront would be able to hold all of this. It's gotta lead into a larger facility, probably underground."
"It's probably a full blown command post then, maybe even their base of operations...this complicates things..."
"Yeah, no kidding. When can you and Sixteen get here?"
M4 sighed heavily. "That's...where the problems start."
"What are you talking about?" It was then that STAR placed the noise that she had been hearing in the background. "Wait, is that a harmonica I'm hearing?!"
"Mhm." M4 grunted affirmatively.
STAR took a deep breath. "...Don't tell me..."
"I don't need to...you already know." M4 sighed out as she looked up to the other side of her jail cell, where M16 sat clumsily playing a tune on her harmonica.
"God damn it!" STAR hissed out in frustration before taking another deep breath. "What happened?"
M4 shook her head and sighed. "What didn't happen?..." She uttered rhetorically before turning her gaze back onto M16, who began to drunkenly sing.
"I'm only a T-Doll, after all.
Only a T-Doll, after all.
Don't put your blame on meee.
Don't put your blame on me..."
"Sixteen..."
"Yes, M4?..."
"Shut the fuck up."
"So, M4 and M16 got arrested..." RO635 sighed into her communicator.
"Yeah...I can't say I'm a fan of the idea, but we might need to bring 404 into this. We can send the bill to the Commander, it's his ass we're saving after all." STAR suggested.
"They aren't around the office anywhere, it's possible that they're out on a job, Fifteen."
"I don't care if they're out saving Christmas! The Commander is in danger!"
RO massaged her nose-bridge. "I know, I know. I'll see if I can get in touch with them. Regardless, I'll grab SOP-II and try to get over there, but it might take a bit for us to get to you..."
"Fuck...Alright, I'll wait as long as I can, but if I see an opening, I'm going for it. There's no telling what they're doing to him in there."
"Be careful, Fifteen. You can't help him if you're dead - remember that."
"I know, I know..."
After the call ended, RO leaned her head into her hands on the café counter and sighed. Gulping down the rest of her coffee, she turned to look at the area where SOP-II had went.
SOP-II sat in front of the cafe's flat-screen TV, alongside Destroyer and AK-15 as they intently watched a cartoon featuring a talking yellow sponge and pink starfish playing on the television.
"DES. TROY. ER!" A voice suddenly screeched from the group's peripherals, followed by a small-framed, black-haired Sangvis doll in a striped dress stomping over to her companion. "You promised you'd help me vacuuming the rooftop today! Stop watching this stupid cartoon and come help me already!"
However, as Dreamer reached to grab Destroyer, a strong hand suddenly seized her by the wrist.
"Do not interrupt the funny sponge..." AK-15 growled.
Meanwhile, RO had made her way to SOP. "SOP, we need to get going, the Commander is-"
Suddenly, AK-15's other hand grabbed her wrist too. "The show is not over."
"But-" RO tried to protest before being cut off.
"Sit down." 15 commanded menacingly.
The coolant flowing through RO and Dreamer's "veins" turned to ice, and they slowly, silently sat themselves down...
Sighing through the filter of his gas mask, the Mercenary sauntered outside of the storefront and pulled out a cellphone.
He held the phone out in front of him, waving it around in the air. "Come on...get a signal you piece of junk."
A short while passed, until finally the call seemed to connect.
"Marie...Yes, it's me - look don't hang up-...I'll have the money soon, alright? I can barely make ends meet as is, even with my new job...Yes, I know what the judge ordered, but-...Come on, can't we work something out?...Can I at least talk to the kids?...Because I'm their father, damn it, It ain't right only letting me see them on Holidays!...I'm sorry, I don't wanna fight, can you just put them on the phone so I can say hello to them?...Can you at least tell them I said hello?...Marie?...Marie?...Damn it!"
The Merc hissed in frustration as he put the phone away before turning his gaze to the stars above. "...What else you got for me tonight, God? Huh?! Come on! Hit me! Hit me with your best shot!"
God, however, was in more of a grappling mood today as opposed to a striking one, something the Merc realized when he felt the inhumanly strong arm seize his dominant wrist, and the cold metal serrations of a blade pressed against his jugular.
"Didn't anyone tell you it's improper to use the Lord's name in vain?" A woman's voice sounded from behind him.
The Merc let out a grunt as he struggled fruitlessly. "Ngh!...Damn it...Who are you?...What do you want?"
"An angel. You've made the naughty list." STAR answered bluntly.
"W-What?!..."
"The man your friends brought in here earlier - tell me where they took him and I'll count that as your good deed of the day."
"Fuck...I-I..." A cold panic surged through the Merc as he tried to collect himself.
STAR's grip tightened around the Merc's wrist as she slowly grazed his neck with the edge of her blade. "Do you want me to send you up to God so you can explain why you've been so bad lately?"
"Urgh! The Augmentation room! They were going to take him to the Augmentation room!"
"Augmentation?" STAR's grip tightened even more. "Why? For what?"
"Guh! I-I don't know the details! Y-You'll have to ask Kalina!"
"Kalina? Kalina Poniatowski?!" STAR exclaimed, nearly crushing the unfortunate's wrist in the process.
"Y-Yes! That's her name!"
"Kalina knows what you're up to?!"
"Of course! She's the boss! She was the one who ordered us to bring him here in the first place!"
"Well, I hope she isn't too hard on you for sleeping on the job."
"W-Wha-" The Merc was cut off by STAR's arm curling around his neck, constricting it in a vice-like grip that squeezed his blood vessels shut. His strength drained from him in an instant, his brief, fruitless struggle quickly snuffed out as his body went limp.
The doll carefully let the unconscious body down to the ground, and dragged it off to a dark corner. Her interrogation had yielded more questions than answers for her, but at least one thing was clear - there was no time to wait for backup. She was going in.
"Goddamn it, dragging this guy around is getting old. Why the fuck do we have to wear these damned masks again?" One of the voices said as the Commander felt himself being set into a chair.
"Have you seen that girl that the boss lady brought in? She's got a reputation, something about accidentally gassing a convention hall or something. Cross wants us keeping these things on until he knows Kalina can keep her on a leash." Another voice replied.
"Man...And where the fuck did Allen go?"
"Probably up to the surface to get reception, trying to talk to his ex-lady."
"Oh, damn, he and his wife split?"
"Yeah, poor bastard's being bled dry so I hear. Worst part about it is that she took the kids too - supervised visitation on holidays only. She had his outburst when he found out she was cheating on video, and that did not look good in the courtroom."
"Fuck me, that's rough...No wonder he's been hitting the bottle..."
The sound of a door opening, and what the Commander recognized as Sergeant Cross's voice sounded. "What the hell are you two shitheels doing just standing around and jabbering? Get those restrains in place and take that bag off his head."
"Yes, Sergeant."
Once again, the bag was ripped off of his head. The Commander was greeted to the sight of a dim room with an unsettling assortment of various "instruments" on the tables beside him. Forceps, scalpels, hacksaws, power drills, screwdrivers, circular saws, red loctite, duct-tape, and blowtorches...
Kalina had completely lost it, he should have figured as much the moment he saw that new segment of her show back at the base...
Sector 09 Command Post Café, Several weeks ago...
The Commander practically collapsed into the stool at the café's counter, nearly prompting RO to stop him from falling backwards as she took a seat next to him. He leaned his head into his hands on the counter, taking a deep breath as he slid his hands down his face.
"Long day, Commander?..." Springfield asked empathetically as she stepped up to the counter.
"Thirty-two hours...got two hours before I gotta' get back and do it all again..." The Commander groggily grumbled out.
RO nodded in solidarity. "Everybody's been stretched thin ever since-...Well, it's going to be a while before we're back at capacity, there's a lot to be done..."
Springfield looked pityingly at the Commander. "Is there anything I can get you?"
"Bang...Reign...Anything with at least 200 milligrams of caffeine will work..."
Springfield shook her head. "You'd need to ask Kalina about that, the logistics crews get first dibs on shipments of those."
The Commander sighed. "Just...fill a mug with espresso then."
Springfield raised an eyebrow. "Commander...that's..."
"I know what I'm about..." The Commander said sternly
Springfield nodded hesitantly before retreating behind the counter.
As Springfield was preparing his espresso, the Commander's gaze turned to one of the TVs on the other end of the counter, where a familiar strawberry blonde was gleefully staring into the camera.
"Hello, everyone! Welcome to our weekly...Kalina Corner!" Kalina excitedly introduced. "How has everyone been feeling? Have your missions been running smoothly? Man, the going sure has been rough lately, hasn't it? But not to worry, things are finally starting to look up now, and what better way to drown out the bad memories than some retail therapy?"
Suddenly, Kalina jammed her face straight in front of the Camera, staring straight into the viewers soul as she gushed with excitement. "Now! On to the main event! I am proud to introduce the newest segment of our program, as well as our pilot episode! It's showtime!"
The camera cut to footage of a young man, the Commander thought he looked familiar, maybe one of the logistics crew or maintenance people? Was there someone on staff that had a bum leg? He couldn't quite remember.
"My name is Matthew Kane. Ever since I was injured in the Dunkin' vs. Tim Hortons Corpo-Wars, my life just hasn't been the same. I can't get around as well as I'd used to, and I've since had to all but kiss my dreams of being a unicyclist at the circus goodbye. I've fallen into the trap of letting myself atrophy over the years because of it, and I have really fallen out of shape. To make matters worse, I'm under five-feet tall, and let's be real - that means it's pretty much over for me."
The man stood on the heliport and extended his arms out as the camera rapidly zoomed out. "So please, KTV - Pimp My Bod'!"
The camera cut to the same man strapped to a examination table, where Doctor Bob stood at his side.
"Doctor Bob's in on it too? I'm surprised Kalina convinced him..." The Commander thought out loud.
Doctor Bob...if that even was his real name...The base's physician was an interesting character to say the least. With so few human personnel on staff, the Commander couldn't help but suspect that the company had gone for the lowest bidder. He had made it a point not to get himself injured, and stick to the tried and true 'Motrin and water' for his ailments.
Kalina stepped into view of the camera. "And now, it is time to begin the process where Mister Kane will be receiving a brand new set of custom made parts! Begin!"
Doctor Bob pulled out a small syringe. "Alright, first thing's first, we need to inject the anesthesia."
Without any further warning, the Doctor jammed the syringe straight into Kane's arm. The EKG monitor suddenly began pulsing rapidly.
"Eh...Doctor, that wasn't anesthesia - that was adrenaline." One of the assistants spoke up.
"Ah, potato po-tah-to, let's get this show on the road." The Doctor callously tossed the empty syringe over his shoulder, the breaking of glass sounded in the background. The Doctor then pulled out a large motorized circular saw.
"W-What the hell is that?! Aren't I supposed to be unconscious for this?!" Kane exclaimed as the saw whirred to life. "W-Wait! T-The waiver didn't mention this! I changed my mind! Get that thing away! Oh God! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
The sound of screaming, cutting flesh, and the straining of a motor sounded from the TV as the Commander casually watched. "Damn, her production value's really going up, those special effects are insane."
"Yeah..." RO affirmed. "It's almost as good as the kind you see in a MICAL movie..."
"The acting's on point too, she must have hired a professional...Do you recognize him from any movies you've seen lately?"
RO shook her head. "No...He probably does horror movies though, so I wouldn't recognize him."
It was then that Springfield returned to the counter. "Your coffee, Commander." She said as she gently placed the mug filled to the brim with espresso on the counter before turning to the TV, an unsettled expression permeating her face. "Do you...mind if I change the channel?"
"Go right ahead, we were about to get going anyways..." The Commander replied.
"Wakey-wakey, meatbag." A voice suddenly snapped the Commander out of his doze.
The Commander came to his senses to find an indigo-haired doll wearing a baggy black overcoat over a white half-buttoned shirt. "K11? What the fuck, you too?"
"Sorry, Commander, but Kalina promised I could do all the experiments I want if I just did this one little thing for her. This is for science, Commander." K11 stated apologetically.
The Commander looked around the room to find that Kalina, along with a few more Mercs standing guard, had arrived as well, just how long had he been dozing off?
"Damn it, just what the hell are you going to do to me?!" The Commander cried out.
"It's simple Commander, you see, these newer models of mechs are designed to interface directly with their pilot." Kalina began. "In order to interface with the mech, a pilot needs to undergo a procedure of augmentation. The more augmentation a pilot receives, the more efficient they can operate their mech. Of course, the mech doesn't need your body per say, all it really needs...is your brain."
"Hold on - Are you saying that you're going to just...take my brain?"
K11 nodded. "It's the ultimate stage of the program - fusing a human mind with the body of a machine. It will most certainly be a monumental achievement."
"Well, you can't have my brain, I'm kind of using it." The Commander protested.
"Hardly." Kalina snarked.
"Oh, a comedian, huh?" The Commander groaned.
Kalina turned to K11. "Do it, eleven. Be sure not to damage his corneas, those are worth a pretty penny on the black market. Everyone else, start getting ready, we don't have long to get his organs. Leave the liver though, he can keep that."
The Commander began to frantically struggle in his restraints as K11 pulled out the circular saw. "Hey! Wait just a damned minute!"
"Don't worry - you won't feel a thing...probably." K11 reassured as she whirred up the saw.
"DAMN IT KALINA! DON'T DO THIS!" The Commander desperately thrashed around in the chair trying to free himself. "ALRIGHT! JUST LET ME SAY ONE THING! PLEASE, JUST ONE LAST THING BEFORE YOU TAKE IT!"
The saw suddenly spun to a halt as the motor grew quiet, the Commander breathed deeply as he collected himself. "I'm sorry, alright? I...I buried myself in my work after the sub base...I thought that if I distracted myself with all the work, I wouldn't have to think about what had happened...I wouldn't be stuck alone with the thoughts of what I could have done different...But that was selfish of me...I forgot that I wasn't the only one who had suffered...That you had suffered too...I neglected you, Kalina. I didn't realize that you were hurting too, that you needed someone to be there for you, and as your Commander, I failed you...Please forgive me, Kalina...Please give me a chance to right this...Let's go back to the office, together. We can get you help, real help...You don't have to suffer alone anymore..."
A period of deafening silence passed...
"That's nonsense, we don't want help, we want to be rich and famous." Kalina dismissed.
"Yeah, what's all this 'you don't have to suffer alone' tripe?" K11 affirmed.
"Take his brain!" Kalina ordered.
"NO! DON'T TAKE THE BRAIN! DON'T TAKE THE BRAIN!" The Commander cried out as the saw whirred to life again, and began to slowly encroach upon his forehead.
Everyone in the room watched intently as the saw drew nearer and nearer. In fact, they were so focused on the scene, that they failed to notice one of the Mercs in the corner that had a distinctive stubby carbine dangling from her sling discreetly pull out a clacker that she had been concealing, and squeeze the trigger.
All of the sudden, the lights in the room blacked out, the saw died in an instant as everybody was left in pitch-black darkness.
"Aw, hell, not again!" K11 groaned.
"Argh, damn it K11, did you trip the circuit breaker again?" Kalina huffed.
K11 turned to Kalina. "I shouldn't have, this thing doesn't use that much power!"
Meanwhile, the squad of Mercenaries stumbled around in the dark.
"Damn it, Connors! Watch where you're going!"
"I'm trying, I can't see shit in this fucking mask!"
"Everybody just stay still, the backup generator will kick on in a couple seconds..." Cross ordered.
Sure enough, after a few seconds, the lights flicked back on...And they were greeted to the sight of an empty chair, the restraints visibly sliced open.
"What the fuck?!" One of the Mercs cried out.
"Are you fucking shitting me?!" Another followed suit.
"That slippery bastard!" Cross exclaimed before turning to find Kalina standing silently, staring at the empty chair as she seethed in rage. "Ma'am, what's the call?"
Another period of silence passed before Kalina finally spoke. "I want every single unit after the guy..."
"Everyone?..."
"EVERYONE!"