The Elvenking has warmed up to me now that the knowledge of what I bore reached his ears. Most of my days now are spent in bed or being carried by Legolas. It's been two months since we discovered I was with child, I should be about 12 weeks along. My diet has changed as well; it's now mostly bland breads or porridges.
I haven't felt any better, and my bitterness towards my husband is growing by the day.
"Dilthen Lóth" [Little flower] Legolas lovingly stroked my stomach. It was the name he called our child, he was convinced it was a girl and would be just as much of a flower as I was.
I grunted as I tried to sit up in the bed, his eyes widened as he braced my back and held onto my elbow.
"I want to go home Legolas," my forehead beaded with sweat.
"Soon, please rest love." He dismissed trying to lower me back onto the bed.
The elvish medicine didn't work on me at least not anymore. Something was amiss and Legolas chose to ignore it. I know he could feel it through the bond, every discomfort, every emotion, he felt it all. The only thing that seemed to have any effect was the sedation, so often I would be awake for only a few hours, long enough to take a few bites of porridge, sometimes get carried outside, but normally it was only long enough for the awful feelings to come back and within a few moments of consciousness I would have my mouth pried open by my husband and forced to drink.
I need to be by the trees, I know now I should have never left Fangorn, I don't think this sickness is normal through pregnancy. Or is it? Is this suffering caused because I shouldn't have wed Legolas, after all the pain and misery only began after. The Valar sent me here for a purpose; will they kill me if I neglect it?
Legolas lowered his face down to my abdomen and began leaving feather-light kisses through the fabric of my chemise.
"Can we go outside?" My voice cracked in my plea, I knew by the time we reached the outdoors I would most likely be asleep or forced to sleep once more.
He didn't reply with words, but I knew he would comply with my request; it was perhaps the only one he could comply with now. I still wasn't fit for travel in this cold weather; I know he felt guilty and unable to help me.
He slowly raised me up, dressing me in far too many layers; before he was satisfied enough to scoop me into his arms and cradle me.
He hummed softly as he made deliberate steps toward our favorite tree. It wasn't far out of the caves, but the roots grew in such a way it almost cradled you as you sat at its base, blocking the wind. Legolas settled us at the base pulling me onto his lap with my head resting against his chest. There was a blanket of snow that covered the ground. But where we sat there was already a wool blanket laid out to shield us from the cold.
"Cold?" he asked, wrapping his arms tighter around me. How could I be in so many layers? I wasn't cold, I was tired, nauseous, and antsy, there were too many feelings I felt to be put into words.
I simply shook my head against his chest curling myself tighter into his lap.
"Winter normally will have passed by now, surely only a few more weeks and we can travel." He petted my hair smoothing it down.
"My father is sailing West, once our child is born that is," my head began to throb but the cold from the outside dulled it enough. "He wants me to take his place…" I couldn't reply, what could I say? I've been nothing but selfish our entire marriage, yet I feel as if it's justified. What could I say? No, ignore your people. He would if I asked him, that is why this bond is a curse. I feel his guilt, his self-blame, his hurt, and he feels my bitterness. If we were in my world, we wouldn't have to deal with that, it complicates everything.
"I told him I couldn't, my family now comes first." I snuggled into him closer inhaling his scent. "We spoke on the matter for many weeks, a decision has been made." He paused grabbing my bottom and holding me closer to him. "Many elves have also chosen to sail, those that do not wish to return do not feel as though this can be home anymore, the darkness that haunted these woods has tainted their memories of it."
I felt the arousal slowly creep its way into me as his hand absentmindedly began rubbing circles on my bottom; it felt wonderful even through the many layers I wore. "Some will journey to Lorien, others we have decided will accompany us and make a new home with you and I, my queen."
I moved slightly pressing my bottom into his palm as I adjusted myself into his chest once again, "Aragorn is king, we can't go back home and have two kings." My voice came out as a husky pant and I was annoyed at how easily I became aroused. Pregnancy has done that to me, any emotion or feeling seemed to overtake me, mild irritation became full-on frustration, anger became rage and sadness became melancholy.
I knew he could feel it through the bond, but he was restraining himself for the most part, still gripping and rubbing circles though he wasn't stripping me and taking me on the blanket of snow.
"We will go to fair Ithilien, you and I can awaken the trees, we'll be close to Aragorn and all of our companions, but Lóth nin will be by her flowers." [my flower] His voice took on a tender note, "Just a few more weeks, I promise we will journey in just a few more weeks."
The arousal disappeared and in its place stood emotions so overwhelming all I could do was clutch onto his chest and sob. He held me close and whispered Elvish into my ear, occasionally he would make to stand to carry me back to our room but I would squirm and wiggle in protest. My husband, my sweet husband is giving up his entire home for me, for our family.
Finally when my sniffles calmed down I allowed him to carry me back to bed, by then the chills started. Chills that were brought on from sweat due to the many, many layers Legolas dressed me in.
He hastened his step and cursed in elvish feeling me tremble against him. I knew what would happen as soon as we got to our room, as it seemed to be a habit now. He would sit me down gently and begin disrobing me as a child. Then if I were up for it he would insist on a few bites of porridge or bread and if I weren't, he would call for healers to at least give me some rest by way of sedation.
He set me on the bed and began removing the layers, first the cloak, then the woolen overdress, then the boots. He was bent low undoing my laces, his face was below me his brow furrowed in concentration. "I love you," I said for the first time in weeks. I've thought it, but it's been so long since I've voiced it.
He placed my boots on the ground next to the bed and froze hearing me. "I'm sorry I'm hurting you, I don't know why I can't control myself now." I continued, feeling the tears again clouding my vision because all I could seem to do now was cry or shout.
His body moved mechanically, he slowly lifted my chemise above my knees and began pulling my woolen socks off one by one. His hands were hot on my bare flesh and sent shivers of a different kind up my spine, slowly oh so slowly did he pull my socks off. Then just as I thought he would rise and lay me down or insist on me eating he began trailing kisses up my legs.
My breath caught in my throat as his featherlight touch seemed to tease me. Trailing up to where my hem now rested bunched over my knees then back down again. My heart raced, what was he going to do next? He didn't stop but kept on torturing me with the sensation of his lips and tongue, soon I found myself moaning and arching my back towards him for more. He gripped my thighs pulling me closer to him practically off the bed. His hands parted my legs as his mouth made way to kiss me in the place that throbbed for him.
"Please," I panted, my body swaying slightly as I felt his tongue licking me through my underwear. My moans become louder as I feel his hand crawl up my thigh and slip under the leg of my underwear. His hands warm against my skin as he gently pulls my underwear off. His breath is a whisper, in and out, steady as a heartbeat. Hungrily he moans into me, his lips vibrating as they brush against my flaming core. This was the best part of the bond, his pleasure is my pleasure, my pleasure is his pleasure, I know it isn't a chore for him to touch me.
At one point he laid me down, allowing my legs to freely dangle over the edge of the bed while I gripped the sheets wildly. "You taste so sweet," he murmured against my core. His tongue began darting in and out. The hum of desire that vibrated in his throat, growing louder as he tasted me.
A faint tapping at first, a metronome to which his tongue would follow, teasing me to the brink of release and then coming back down to a rest before starting over. He began kneading the flesh of my thighs, pulling me closer, pushing his tongue deeper into me until I exploded my release.
"Please," I whimpered, I needed more, I needed him. It had been so long since we had laid together.
He undressed as if the room was on fire, his motions wild and hurried as if the time was now or never. His chest was defined, pectorals hard and bulging, his abdomen flat and hard. I will never get over seeing him naked and wanting. His abs rippling in the dim light, the curve of his pelvis leading down to the V that led to his cock, long and thick. Its tip resting on his belly, pressed flat, making a wet shiny patch on his skin. His balls hung heavy, full, and dangling.
His hands clutch at my hips as he pulls me close to him, his chest heaves with his heavy breathing, his muscles clenching in his desire for me. All it took was a soft mewl from me for him to lose what self-control he had left and plow into me.
I gasped loudly as I felt him fill me up, pushing past all of my limits. His body moved against mine with an intensity that was unmatched, sweat dripping off of us both as we gave into our primal need for each other. My chemise suddenly felt like too much clothing I wanted it off, I wanted my bare skin to slap against his.
"Don't stop," I commanded, though we both knew neither of us would be able to at this point.
He quickly lost himself in the pleasure and began pounding into me with a strength and power that I had never experienced before. My back arched against his movements, my head thrashing from side to side, unable to contain the raw pleasure that surged through my body. With every thrust I could feel myself getting closer and closer, I could feel he too was drawing near. I clawed at my chest tearing the chemise ripping it open so now my swollen breasts could be seen and caressed. He quickly took one in his grasp.
My breast soon filled his mouth, his tongue pushed against my nipple, his teeth gently nibbled at my sensitive skin. I arch my back as his thrusts become more erratic then; we both climax so hard we were left trembling in each other's arms.
I was completely spent but incredibly satisfied as he rolled off of me and onto his back beside me. We both lay there in silence for a few moments before he pulled me close and kissed me tenderly on the forehead. "I love you," he whispered softly.