Alright. For real this time. Last one until sometime next week. Hopefully Monday or Tuesday.
Chapter 6: A Very Corcoran WelcomeShelby returned home after seeing Rachel with a sense of accomplishment and disappointment. She had no idea if Rachel would take the offer to spend Christmas with her family, though she hoped Rachel did. Still, she tried, and it didn't go as horribly as it could have.
Rachel didn't need to let her into the apartment, but she did, and they talked without any major spats. That was all she could really ask for. She didn't get the answers she felt she needed, that Leroy and Hiram also needed, but it was enough to report back that she was making progress. Rachel was ok. She was lonely, that much was clear, but she was ok.
"She talked with me a little. I invited her to spend Christmas with my family. We already missed Hanukah this year, but it might be good for her."
"I guess, thank you, Shelby," Hiram said.
"If you could keep us updated… Maybe check in on her occasionally."
"Of course, Leroy. I told her that we live in the same city now, we're bound to have run ins, but they don't have to be a problem. We can work on things, but it's up to her. It needs to be her choice, and I know that."
"We're glad to hear that. Thank you. We still wish we could make it there, but, by the looks of the weather, even if we tried to fly out, we wouldn't get there or get there and not be able to come home."
"I saw that. Well, I'll keep you informed, but I need to go. Bye."
By the time Shelby returned home, Beth was awake and playing with her parents. Jack and Maggie asked how things went.
"Did she tell you if she was coming?"
"She said she'd let me know, Mom."
"Well, I'll just have to do a little shopping just in case. What kinds of things does she like?"
Sighing, Shelby responded, "I don't know her all that well, Mom. I know she's an excellent singer. She loves Broadway. She goes to a performing arts college here hoping to make it on stage. She's… She's very good. Other than that, I don't know very much."
It wasn't until that moment that Shelby understood just how little she knew. Her daughter was talented, but beyond that, what did she know? Favorite color? No idea. Maybe it was green like hers, or yellow, or purple… It could be anything. Food preferences? Allergies?
She knew next to nothing.
"I can work with that," Maggie said.
"Mom, I don't think she's going to come."
"You never know dear. Don't be such a pessimist."
Shelby looked to her father for help.
Jack shook his head and spoke to his wife, "She's right, Maggie. We don't need to go overboard. Let's go out, just the two of us and do a little shopping. We'll find something."
"Fine, but let's go tonight before the real last-minute shoppers crowd the streets tomorrow."
"Let's go then."
Before they left, Jack kissed Shelby's cheek and told her they'd talk later. He was curious how things went, and he wanted to check in on his daughter's headspace.
Until then, Jack and Maggie spent the evening exploring the city on their own. They once loved to be in the city, and they still enjoyed the craziness occasionally, but the serene suburban life was more their speed.
They took the time to enjoy the winter markets at Bryant Park, passing through the Winter Village with kids ice skating and hordes of shoppers strolling.
They picked up a few stocking stuffers and gifts that Jack thought would be great for Rachel if she came.
"If she doesn't come, Shelby can still give them to her anyway."
"We'll see, Maggie. I'm ready to head back. What about you?"
"Definitely."
Maggie and Jack cuddled up on the cab ride to Shelby's. They got there just in time to say goodnight to Beth.
"Find everything you wanted?" Shelby asked.
"Oh yes, and then some. Everyone's going to be spoiled this holiday."
Shelby and Jack did catch up about the visit, but there wasn't much to say. Shelby explained that they chatted, and Rachel didn't give an absolute no, but she didn't seem sold on a holiday with them.
"And why would she?" Shelby asked. "I'd be surprised if she ever used my number."
"I hope she does, but right now, I'm checking in with you. How are you feeling?"
"It's always hard to see her. I'm happy that she's living in a nicer place than I was when I first moved to New York, but it's far from everything. She has a life that I know nothing about and that's hard. I… I want her to call me. Maybe I should check if her number is still the same."
"Then you'd be the one contacting her. It really needs to be her contacting you, now."
"I know, but that doesn't make it easier. I can't stand the idea of her spending the holiday alone. She already spent Hanukah alone. Hiram mentioned that her roommates did a little something for her on the last day and an early birthday celebration, but… It was pretty clear she didn't have plans."
"You can't force it," he told her. "Let's just wait and see."
That was all she could do, but as the rest of the weekend passed and Monday came without word from Rachel, her hopes dwindled. Then the text came. She had been staring at her phone waiting, hoping, and finally, it came.
"Rachel's coming," Shelby giddily told her parents. "She'll meet us there. I'm sending her the address now."
Jack put his hand on Shelby's shoulder and offered a knowing, happy smile. Maggie just said, "That's great. I feel better with her having some place to go."
"Me too," Shelby agreed.
The next day, Shelby and her family loaded up the car to drive to Connecticut. Shelby took the time to check in with Rachel, just sending her a text letting her know that they were leaving, but if she needed anything, to call.
"I'm fine," was Rachel's response. "Thanks."
She didn't hear from Rachel again until she was in Connecticut too.
For Rachel, it was a stressful trip. Not only was she on edge from her Jasper encounter, but she was nervous about the whole thing. She was sure getting out of New York and away from him for a little while was a good idea, and since she couldn't fly to Lima, this trip was a good alternative. But if she had another option, one that didn't include Shelby or her family, then Rachel would have taken that route.
Instead, she found herself packing a small overnight bag as well as a backpack, and catching the 10:15 train to New Haven, Connecticut.
She considered checking if Quinn was in town, too, or if she went home for Yale's winter break. Rachel hadn't decided whether to call her or not. It just seemed so hard to talk to people lately, even when she wanted to.
That wasn't a decision she needed to make then. Getting to the Corcoran home was the only concern she wanted to focus on. She wanted to distract her thoughts from the idea that Jasper could have followed her, that he could be on the same train as her, maybe even in the same car. It wasn't likely. If he held true to his word, he mentioned going back to Pennsylvania for the holidays to be with his mom.
She hoped that was true, but she didn't want to fall into a false sense of security.
It was a two-and-a-half-hour train ride. She tried reading, she tried music, and no matter what, she just kept thinking. Her mind wandered from Shelby to Beth to the Corcorans to Jasper to her fathers… It just kept going and going until she arrived at Union Station in New Haven.
When she arrived, she sent Shelby a text saying she was in Connecticut and catching an Uber there. Shelby offered to pick her up, but more alone time – trapped in a car with Shelby – seemed like a recipe for disaster.
As much as she was feeling relief being away from the city, she was now dreading spending any time with Shelby and her family. She had to wonder what she was getting herself into. Looking for an excuse to prolong the inevitable, Rachel shot Quinn a text asking if she was around.
The reply came quickly.
Quinn said she wasn't in town. Rather, she was in Akron at her grandparents' with her mother and sister, but to let her know more in advance next time, especially if it got her out of awkward family bonding.
Let's catch up soon, though, Quinn sent, and Rachel believed she meant it. They were in a much different place than they were in high school.
Apparently, Rachel's stalling tactic was a non-starter. She was nervous. Even with one weight lifted off her shoulders, this seemed to be another added. So, she took a little time to sit on the wood benches, watching the holiday travelers move about before getting an Uber.
She couldn't put it off any longer. Rachel never traveled to Connecticut. With snow on the ground and winter lights twinkling, parts of the city reminded her of New York. As the driver came and she hopped in the car, Rachel took in the scenery.
The driver tried to talk with her, but she wasn't good company and, honestly, he made her uncomfortable. It wasn't his fault, and she wasn't rude, but she quietly sat close to the door, hand hovering over the handle. Anxiety started to tingle as she fretted over how she was going to get through an evening with the Corcoran bunch. Why was she doing this to herself? She acted on instinct in the moment, but she could have just tried to get a hotel out of the city, away from her home, for a bit. Why was she subjecting herself to a different brand of torture?
"Need help, Miss?" The driver asked her.
"Uh, no. Thank you."
Reluctantly, Rachel got out of the car, gingerly holding one bag in her right hand until she could switch it to the left.
She stood on the sidewalk, unsure about so many of her choices. She contemplated calling another Uber and heading back to the train. Surely, that would be a better option. She could…
Her internal reverie was interrupted when the front door of the large grey house opened.
"Rachel, you're here."
"Oh… uh… Hi."
"Jack," he said, approaching.
"Jack, yes. I remember."
"I'm glad you could make it."
Skeptically, she could only manage a polite smile and nod.
He stood in front of her.
"Can I help with your bags?"
"Umm, I got it."
"Please, let me help," he offered.
Silently, she nodded and used her left hand to pass him her small duffle bag.
He scrutinized her movement. After he took the bag, she held her right arm against her body and rubbed at the wrist.
"Are you ok? Looks like you're babying your arm. Did you hurt it?"
"Oh… I… Slipped on some ice on my way here and fell. I'm ok. Thanks for asking."
"Do you need to go to the hospital?"
"No," she stated. "It's fine."
"We could go without them knowing if you're worried about that. I can say I'm running out for something and take you."
"Really," she insisted, "I'm ok. It doesn't hurt much."
"Well, will you at least let Maggie look at it? She was a nurse for forty years. She can bandage it if it needs it."
"Maybe," Rachel conceded, "But I don't think that's necessary."
"Why don't we get inside before we add frostbite to the list of injuries?"
"Sure…"
"Don't be nervous, sweetheart. We're not going to bite. I know you don't know us, and I know you have a complicated relationship with Shelby, but we're glad you're here."
His words caught her off balance. She was sure neither of Shelby's parents knew who she was. She was positive Maggie had no clue at all. Maybe he did, though. He knew something.
Jack held out his bent arm for her to take. "Ready?"
"I guess," she said, hesitantly locking her arm in his.
She let him lead her, but she could feel the pounding in her chest. She didn't want to be there, she didn't want to be with her fathers, and she didn't want to be home. There was nowhere for her.
"Are you ok?" Jack asked as they approached the door.
"Fine. Thanks."
"Don't worry so much. Everything will be ok."
"I know."
He didn't buy it, but he didn't push it. Jack could see the dread on Rachel's face. He wished he could make her more comfortable, but he had a feeling there was nothing he could say that would do that. This one was on Shelby. She was the only one that could help Rachel feel welcomed there.
Opening the door, Jack called out, "Look who I found loitering outside."
Immediately to their right was a big living room with a huge, decorated Christmas tree and roaring fire going. Shelby and Beth were playing on the floor while Maggie was on the couch flipping through a magazine.
When they saw her, they all got up to greet her.
"Hello, Rachel. We're glad you could make it," Maggie told her, going in for an awkward hug that seemed to linger a bit too long for Rachel's comfort.
It was worse when Shelby greeted her. They did a dance, unsure what to do. Hug or no hug? Left or right? They couldn't seem to get it together and ended up with an equally awkward missed connection and a, "Hi. Happy Holidays."
Beth was a different story altogether. She ran up to Rachel and exuberantly sang, "Merry Christmas," while briefly wrapping her arms around Rachel's middle. She let go before Rachel had a chance to respond. As soon as she released Rachel, she asked her to come play.
"We're playing dollies. Come play with me."
Jack, sensing her panic, stepped in and said, "Let's give Rachel a chance to settle in first, Beth. Can we get you something to drink?"
"Oh. No thank you. I'm ok."
"Alright. Well, feel free to help yourself. Why don't I take you on a tour of the house?"
The whole situation was uncomfortable. Jack was trying, Rachel could see that as he showed her around, but the great divide between her and Shelby, as well as the huge elephant in the room was just a lot. Not for the first time, Rachel was regretting her decision to come.
"I thought you could stay in this room," Jack told her, stopping in front of one of their guest rooms.
"Oh. I…"
"We have others if you don't like it."
"It's not that," she started.
It was a lovely room. The queen bed was made up nicely with a floral duvet set and fluffy pillows. It looked comfortable, but she didn't plan on staying.
"I just… My friend lives in New Haven. At Yale. She said I could stay at her dorm while I'm here."
"Well, I can't force you to stay, Rachel, but I hope to change your mind. For now, though, why don't we bring your bags up here so that Beth doesn't get curious and start to go through them?"
"Sure."
Jack brought her bags up for her while Rachel joined the Corcoran women. It was the worst. She had no idea what to do with herself. She was uncomfortable even sitting on the same couch as these people because she had no idea what to say or how to interact with them. Thankfully, Shelby was preoccupied with Beth, so she didn't have to force any conversation there, but that left her to fend for herself with Maggie.
"So, Rachel. Tell me a little about yourself. I hear you're a great singer, even better than what we heard in the diner."
"I think so," Rachel said. "I'm studying at the New York Academy of the Dramatic Arts."
"That's exciting."
"Yeah. I'm in my second year there. I actually just won the Winter Showcase. Second year in a row. Usually it's only upperclassman."
"Wonderful, congratulations, Dear."
"Thank you."
Rachel found herself fidgeting and picking at the non-existent lint on her pants as they talked.
Before Maggie could ask too many probing questions, Jack called her to help him in the kitchen.
"One of the timers is beeping, and I don't know what it's for."
"Husbands… Am I right?" Maggie teased, excusing herself.
It was the opening Shelby waited for. She sent Beth to run up to their room for one of her toys and walked over to Rachel. Rachel was looking at the pictures. There was a huge family portrait hung on the center of the wall. She recognized Jack, Maggie, Shelby, and Beth, of course, but there were many others that she didn't recognize, and their pictures were all over the wall too.
In a role reversal from her apartment, feeling Shelby walk up behind her, Rachel asked her questions about the photos.
"Who are they?"
"Mom, Dad, me, Beth…"
"I know that," Rachel hissed.
"That on the left is my sister Kim and beside her is her husband Matt and their sons Jake and Caleb. Next to me are my brother, Dan, his wife Jaimie, and their son Max."
"You have a brother and a sister?"
"Yes. They're both older than me. Their sons are around your age. Maybe you can meet them one day."
"Why? So I can get to know more family to appreciate from afar?"
Shelby sighed and said, "Rachel, I am happy you're here, but if you don't want to be here, you didn't have to come. I didn't force you."
"I never said you did. I'm sorry if it's hard to learn that there's so much about people that I'm related to that I know nothing about. Excuse me for having trouble wrapping my head around that."
"You're right. It's a lot of new information, and you're being thrown in the deep end. But you're here, so let's try to get along and enjoy the time we have."
Not thinking too much on it, Rachel pointed to another picture. It was of Shelby in costume and make up, looking like the rising dead.
"What's this from? Halloween?"
"No. That was an Off-Broadway play that I did the year after you were born called Zombies from Beyond. It was the only play I was in while in New York and my parents came to see it. They like to keep that picture up because, even if I wasn't in it long, I made it onto the stage."
"That's nice. You look crazy, but it's nice that they keep it up."
"Yeah. I didn't love the show, but I loved being on stage."
"I know the feeling."
Rachel was still hung up on the fact that she had aunts and uncles she didn't know existed. They weren't really her aunts and uncles, just like Shelby wasn't really her mom, but she had genetic relations with these people. Shelby said the boys were around her age. For incest reasons, she should have at least been told she had male cousins – some of whom were handsome and didn't look related to her.
"Come on. The costume wasn't that bad. What's that face for?"
Spewing her inner musings, Rachel stated, "I was just thinking that I could have slept with one of my cousins and not even known I was related to them. Kind of sick."
Shelby's jaw slacked as she looked at Rachel. First, she didn't want to think of her daughter having sex. Yes, she was 20, but that didn't mean she wanted to have any image of Rachel canoodling. Then the image of her sweet nephews defiling her little girl… It was all kinds of not right.
Before she had a chance to organize her thoughts, the whole family seemed to return. Beth's heavy footfalls came racing back into the room, dragging along a large plush doll and calling out for Shelby. At the same time, Maggie and Jack came back in and Rachel seemed to disappear from her line of sight.
"Rachel, Jack tells me you had a fall on your way in and that I should check you out before we eat dinner."
"Way to do it privately, Maggie," Jack admonished.
"Oh, come on. There's no need to be shy here."
Yet, Rachel was blushing as all eyes were on her.
"I'm fine. Really," Rachel said, basically pleading.
Yes, her arm hurt, but she knew it wasn't broken. So much of her hurt that it didn't even matter. She'd be fine. She'd suffer through it. The pain might've even been a welcomed distraction.
"Why don't I be the judge of that? Come sit on the couch. Let me look."
Rachel was looking around for someone to save her from the situation. Shelby was no help, just looking at her like a scared puppy.
"I won't bite," Maggie said. "Sit."
Knowing she wasn't getting out of it, she shook her head, sighed, and sat on the couch next to Maggie.
"Let's see what we got here. Right or left?"
Rachel held up her right hand and rolled the sleeve of her sweater up to mid-forearm.
Suddenly, Beth was beside them both, watching as Maggie inspected the bruised wrist.
"Oh, pretty colors. Does it hurt," she asked, poking Rachel right in the deepest, darkest part of the bruise.
Rachel recoiled, pulling her arm to her chest.
"Beth," Shelby admonished. "That's not ok. Say you're sorry."
"Sorry. I just wanted to be the doctor."
"That's not how you do that, Beth. Get over here please."
Shelby pulled Beth beside her but kept them both in seeing distance. Now Shelby was worried and curious too. She wasn't going anywhere. She just wanted to keep Beth from playing doctor and doing any damage. Jack came to stand beside Shelby. His hand went to rest on her back, a comforting pat to say, "Give the girl some space."
"Jack mentioned this happened on your way here?" Maggie asked her as she examined the bruises. "You fell?"
"Slipped on some ice on my way to Grand Central."
"Hmm."
"Hmm, what?" Rachel asked defensively.
"Well, it's certainly not broken. I'd wager a bad sprain, and I have a brace you can wear to help keep it stable. But…"
"But what?"
"The bruising looks older. You have a healing bruise here," she pointed higher up on Rachel's arm, "and newer bruises around the wrist that look at least a day old."
"I don't know what to tell you. I hurt my wrist this morning. There was some bruising from an accident at work, though. A clumsy new waitress slammed right into me. Took us both down. I hit a stool."
She was surprised at how quickly the lie rolled off her tongue. The sad truth was that she knew where, when, and how each bruise occurred, and she didn't want to talk about it with people she just met. She held steadfast in her story.
"Alright," Maggie said, a hint of disbelief evident in her tone. "I'll get you that brace. Try to rest it while you're here. I have an instant ice pack. After we eat, you should put that on for 10 minutes. Ten on, ten off."
Maggie gently patted Rachel's knee before going to fetch the brace leaving Rachel under the uncomfortable stare of her mother. Once again, she regretted being there. She should have taken her chances alone in New York. She would have been fine… Probably.
Jack stood beside her, towering over her as she stayed sat on the couch.
"That wasn't so bad was it?"
She shrugged.
"Can you remind me where the bathroom is?"
She needed an escape, even a brief respite.
"I'll show you," Beth offered, and she had never been so thankful for the child.
Quickly, Rachel took Beth's hand, allowing her to skip her way to the nearest bathroom.
"I'll wait for you, so you don't get lost."
"You don't have to, Beth. Thank you for showing me. Head on back to your mom."
She shook her head no.
"You're going to wait for me?"
"Yup," she said, really popping the p.
This was going to be an incredibly long night, Rachel thought. She couldn't even pee in peace.
"Hurry, you're taking too long," Beth complained, knocking on the door.
"I'll be right out, Beth," Rachel responded.
It hadn't even been two minutes. Peering into the mirror, Rachel quickly looked away and sighed. She would get through this, she told herself. She was there, safe away from Jasper, and she just needed to focus on that.
When they returned to the rest of the family, Maggie was waiting with a brace to put on Rachel's wrist, adjusting it until it was just right. She also asked Rachel if she wanted medicine.
"Thanks, but I'm allergic to Ibuprofen. Usually, I try to just suffer through it."
"Oh, so is Shelby. We have alternatives. Let me know if you need anything."
"Thanks," Rachel said, adding another new Shelby tidbit to the collection.
Seemed Shelby was doing the same thing, making a mental note of the weird genetics and new fun facts.
"Enough fussing. The girl will let us know if she wants or needs anything. Until then, I hope everyone's hungry. We made a ton of food. Time to eat."
Rachel followed behind everyone else. She wanted them to take their normal seats before she took one. Everything was so informal, and Rachel appreciated that. The table was set with simple green settings, silverware and plates all laid out. Informal, but well put together.
She had two seat choices. They were sitting at the smaller table in the eat in kitchen with six seats rather than the enormous 12-seater in the formal dining room. There was an open seat between Beth and Maggie and another between Shelby and Jack. Sitting next to Maggie felt like it left her open to too much small talk, but sitting next to Shelby felt like an equally awkward nightmare.
"Sit next to me, Rachel," Jack quietly said as he saw her struggling to decide. "Beth's got cooties."
"Grandpa, that's not nice," Beth pouted.
"I'm just teasing my angel. You know grandpa loves you."
"You better love me lots," Beth said, pout still present.
Quietly, Rachel slipped into her seat.
A wide array of foods lined the middle of the table. None of it was what she'd think of when she thought of Christmas.
"Rachel, we hope you like the food. We weren't sure what you eat. Usually, we have a very informal, untraditional Christmas Eve and a little more fanfare for the actual day. Help yourself, and if there's nothing you like, let us know and we can whip something else up for you."
She wouldn't ask them to do that. She felt like she was intruding, truly out of place. She could have hated all the food and still forced some of it down so as not to create any problems. The family started to dig in while Rachel watched and waited.
Rachel watched as Shelby made Beth's plate, cutting up the meat in small pieces, and then began to make her own.
"Pass around the steak, Shelby."
Shelby nodded and held out the platter for Rachel.
Rachel shook her head, "No thank you."
"Not a fan of steak?" Jack asked.
"I… I don't eat meat. I haven't for years now."
"Oh. I'm sorry. We didn't know," Maggie said. "Should I make you something else? Are you a vegan or a vegetarian? Or do you eat fish? We have fish."
"I don't need anything special," Rachel said, her tone as apologetic as Maggie's was. "I was a vegan for years, but after a health thing last year, I went to vegetarianism. No meat, no fish, limited animal products, limited dairy. I still have plenty to eat here, so you don't need to worry about me."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. I always bring snacks with me in case there's nothing for me to eat. Nothing to worry about."
Feeling Shelby's stare on her, once again collecting new data, Rachel smiled and reached for the serving platter to pass to her left for Jack. Once she took it from Shelby, she barely had it in her grasp for a second before Jack was gripping it with her saying to be careful with her wrist.
He was concerned, and it made her a little uncomfortable how much he cared. It wasn't threatening or anything, just unusual to have a Corcoran acting so… familial. She was so used to rollercoaster Shelby running hot and frigid that she wasn't used to the continual warmth.
"Wine, anyone?" Maggie asked.
"Please," Rachel said.
Wine, she thought, could help with the nerves.
"Honey, are you old enough to drink?"
"Of course," she said. "I drink all the time."
The adults looked at her with the same narrowed gaze.
"Not like an alcoholic, but I'm a college kid in New York. There's drinking. One glass of wine won't kill me, but I don't have to drink…"
I just really want to, she thought. She needed something to dull the ache and the awkward.
"Red okay?"
"Yes. Thank you."
Shelby's gaze didn't waver, but Rachel ignored it as she sipped the robust red and savored every drop. The talking died down as everyone finished filling their plates. Rachel went for the roasted potatoes and veggies. It was more than enough food for her and there was promise of dessert. Her appetite dwindled, so the less food there was for her to eat, the less she had to force down.
About mid-way through the meal, the sounds of metal utensils clinking against glass plates, slowed and the chattering began again.
Beth was asking Maggie and Jack if they were sure Santa would know to come there. Of course, he would, they said, knowing they had all of Santa's presents hiding in the storage closet. Shelby took the opportunity to address Rachel.
"So you drink a lot?"
Rolling her eyes, Rachel responded, "Probably a lot less than you."
She was met with Shelby's eye roll.
"How's school going? Do you like NYADA?"
"It's… great. Everything's great."
Shelby was hoping for more, but she'd take what she could get.
"Ok… Well, tell me about the performance. What did you sing?"
"I did a full scene, acting, singing, and dancing," she explained, still giving no detail.
Shelby deflated further.
"I'm sure you were wonderful. You are a very talented girl, Rachel."
"Thank you."
Rachel stared at her plate, pushing around the food, and reminding herself that she chose to put herself in this position and she should at least try to be decent.
"Rachel, how's your love life? Any boys in the picture?"
"Mom," Shelby chided.
"Or girls," Maggie corrected. "We don't judge."
"Mom," Shelby repeated.
"Shelby, relax. We know you're taking a leave of absence from the dating world, but I'm trying to get to know this girl. Let her answer for herself and, if she is uncomfortable, she can say so."
"It's ok," Rachel said. "There's no one."
"No time for dating?"
Rachel sighed, but answered relatively honestly, "No luck with dating. My last… relationship was… what it was… It ended, and the man I was sure I would end up with is dead, so… I'm focused on my career right now."
Everyone stared again. She didn't mean to be so blunt, but she did have a flair for the dramatic and her filter had worn thin.
"So no boyfriend. Plenty of time for that. Shelby mentioned that your roommates were back in Lima for the holidays, you didn't want to go back with them?"
"I wanted to, but I would rather go when I have more time. I work at the diner most days, and I was invited to be a teaching assistant at the winter dance workshops and a couple classes. I start training and prep for that on Friday. Plus, the last time I was in Lima was for a funeral. I rather not be there. My dads couldn't come visit me."
"We're glad you could spend the holidays with us," Jack said.
No more questions were asked of her for the rest of dinner. Rachel could tell that they wanted to. Even Shelby wanted to ask things, but she made it just uncomfortable enough that they didn't, and they wouldn't while Beth was around.
Finally, dinner was over. Rachel politely offered to help clear the table and clean up, but Maggie and Jack told her, "Absolutely not. Go rest and enjoy yourself." She wasn't going to argue.
She followed Beth into the living room and played with her. Watching them together had Shelby thinking about the what ifs – what if she and Rachel had a better relationship? What if Rachel was in her life more? They were getting along so well, and, in some respects, they were sisters. It made her think about what could have been in an alternative life.
It was weird for Rachel. Beth was a sweetheart and her own person. Yes, she saw pieces of Quinn and Puck in her appearance, even some of her quirks, but more so, she saw Shelby and the person Shelby was raising her to be. Rachel thought there would be resentment. Maybe, on some level, there was, but Shelby's actions weren't Beth's fault. Beth wasn't the reason Rachel wasn't enough for Shelby. The only one she had to blame for that was herself.
Shelby looked on longingly, wonderingly, and Rachel continued to play dolls with Beth. The next thing she knew, a present was being placed in front of her.
"It's pajamas," Beth whispered in her ear. "It's tradition."
Rachel looked at her would be family in question. What was with the present?
"Open it. We do this every Christmas Eve. Whoever stays over gets new pajamas. We all get changed and watch a Christmas movie."
"The Grinch," Beth squealed.
"It's her turn to pick," Shelby added.
"I guessed on the size. I hope they fit," Maggie said. "Don't be afraid. Open them. We're all going to change and settle in for the movie and dessert."
Everyone had a box in their hands except for Maggie and Jack. Beth made quick work of unwrapping. Shelby did too, but Rachel felt so out of place even taking part in the tradition. She wished she left as soon as they finished eating like she planned.
"Don't be shy Rachel. Open it."
"I can open it for you," Beth offered. "I looove presents."
"Sure, kid. Here."
Rachel handed Beth the present. Grinning wide, Beth tore into Rachel's present.
"Look, Rachel. They're just like my jammies and Mommy's too."
"Look at that," Rachel said, taking the pajamas from Beth. "They match. Thank you."
In fact, the whole family matched. The color patterns varied a little, but each set was clearly from the same line. When everyone changed and gathered again, they looked like one big family. Rachel just kept feeling more out of place.
Then they surprised her with cake. Shelby mentioned to her parents that Rachel's birthday had just passed, and when dessert was served, a cake was brought out.
"A little bird told us your birthday was last week," Maggie said, carrying a lighter while Jack carried the cake.
"Vanilla cake, chocolate frosting," Jack told her.
"My favorite."
"Mine too," Shelby said.
While the mother and daughter shared a look, Beth stepped closer.
"How old are you? Like 30?" Beth asked.
"If you think I'm thirty, how old is your mom?" Rachel asked the child.
"Ummm… Sixty?"
"Beth, I'm not sixty! That's not nice."
Shelby swatted Beth's lingering hand from the cake.
"No licking the frosting off. That's Rachel's cake. She gets first cut. We still have to sing."
Arms crossed, Beth huffed, waiting impatiently for Rachel to blow out the candle and take a piece so she could dig in.
A candle was lit, the song sung, and Rachel got to make a birthday wish.
Rachel wanted to cry. It was so sweet, and it made her feel nice at a time when she constantly felt horrible. Everything was just so up and down that she couldn't make heads or tails of a thing. Then Beth cuddled up to her while they watched the movie. Rachel had been itching to leave, but Shelby convinced her to stay. It had been snowing all day. Several inches accumulated and it didn't look like it was stopping.
"Please stay, Rachel. I know this is weird for you, but for your safety, please stay. I… I don't want anything to happen to you."
Rachel relented. One night there couldn't hurt.