This one was hard to write and I still don't think it's right, but it is what it is and I hope it's ok. Maybe I'll edit more later, but I wanted to get this out.
Chapter 16: Comforting ConfrontationsWhen Shelby pulled into the driveway of her parents' home, she felt an overwhelming sense of urgency to see Rachel. Kurt and Santana – Santana mostly – filled her in on more than she planned to.
She started with the showcase.
"We had a great night. Truly. We went out, Rachel got to meet some Broadway star. We partied and let loose, which, trust me, at that point, Rachel really hadn't done much of. Since Finn's death, she'd been pretty tame and focused on school and work…"
"So what happened?" Shelby asked.
"We don't really have all the details."
Santana wasn't about to talk about Rachel's sex life or anything like that with Shelby. She knew Rachel would hate her for it.
"Tell me what you do know. This is important Santana. I can't help her if I don't know what's happening."
"All I know is something happened that night. Afterward she was different."
"Is that when the drinking started?"
"Yeah," Kurt confirmed. "She drank before that. We all have. Not a lot but the occasional glass of wine with dinner or something like that. Not a lot."
"But now she was drinking to the point of being drunk which, as far as I know, hadn't happened since that disaster in high school where we all went through a… phase."
Shelby rolled her eyes and let that go. She heard about the vomit emporium from Will and didn't need to hear it again. They had learned their lesson, she was sure, and talking about that would do nothing now.
"Right. We covered the drinking. Tell me the rest."
"I broke into her phone and discovered that someone was harassing her."
Shelby nearly slammed on the brakes as she turned to glare at Santana.
"What do you mean harassed?"
"For the past few months, her phone had been blowing up. Rachel… She grew on me and she gets notifications and texts, sure, but she's not that popular."
"What's your point, Santana?"
"Her phone has been going crazy and she has been avoiding it like the plague. I caught her checking them and the look she would get…"
Santana shook her head.
"A few days ago, I broke into her phone to try to find some answers. In some respects, Rachel really has been better. She isn't drinking and her anxiety seems more under control, but there was something she wasn't saying, and I needed to know what it was."
"Tell her," Kurt encouraged when Santana paused.
"There was a chain of messages from an unknown number that… They were not ok."
"What kind of messages?"
"Threats really… Some pictures… Revealing pictures."
"Revealing how?"
"Come on Shelby… You know what I mean. Don't make me say more than that."
Shelby let that sink in for a moment and followed that up with, "What happened today? What made her run?"
Kurt met Santana's eye in the rearview mirror. Neither wanted to say.
"Someone better tell me soon, or we're not making it to Connecticut," she threatened.
"Someone sent a nude photo of Rachel around to classmates," Kurt finally, said, speaking so quickly it came out in one long word.
"Say it again," Shelby insisted.
"Don't make me, please," Kurt pled.
It was bad enough receiving the photo and knowing what happened. He didn't want to have to be the barer of bad news now thrice over.
Santana sighed and took over again.
"The dickhead who has been harassing her, we assume it was him anyway, sent a picture of her in a delicate state to a bunch of students at NYADA."
"You have to be fucking kidding me."
Her heart shattered for her daughter.
"Rachel was on campus when the picture started circulating. I didn't know about it until a few hours later, but I heard some students say she ran from the school crying."
"What is wrong with people?"
Shelby gripped the steering wheel until her fingers turned white. Santana and Kurt shared another look.
"Do you know who it was?" Shelby asked through gritted teeth.
"No," they both answered.
"Is the school going to do anything?"
"Shelby… I left school the moment I knew what happened. I have no idea what the school is doing, and I doubt Rachel does either. I was more worried about finding her."
Later in the drive, Kurt was listening to a podcast on his phone while Shelby and Santana sporadically talked. Shelby asked questions about the bruises they saw on Rachel and if they ever figured out exactly what happened.
The more they talked, the more worried they both became.
The implications were there. While Santana didn't explicitly say that she thought someone hurt Rachel – physically hurt, sexually hurt her – it didn't need to be said. Clues pointed to that conclusion. Shelby wasn't going to assume, but she worried about it.
Poor Kurt didn't jump straight to that conclusion though. Choosing to see the better in the world, he took Santana's words at face value. What he learned was terrible enough, but a rape… That was a whole different kind of terrible that he couldn't even fathom his friend experiencing, so he didn't.
The ride felt like it took forever. Shelby didn't feel like they could get there fast enough. Even Santana had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, like someone punched her and the blood was just stuck there accumulating.
"We're on their street now," Shelby said.
"Finally," Santana mumbled, barely waiting for the car to stop before jumping out.
Impatiently, Santana hurried them out of the car. Shelby was right behind her, just slowing to get Beth out of her booster seat.
"Mom. Dad, we're here," Shelby called, letting them into the house.
"Grandma," Beth squealed when Maggie walked over.
"Hello my sweet girl."
After hugging Beth and the little girl running off to find Grandpa, she looked to the others.
"You must be Santana and Kurt. I'm Maggie Corcoran. It's nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you too," Kurt said, offering his hand.
"Not to be rude," Santana said after greeting the woman, "But where is Rachel?"
"She's up in the guest room resting. She hasn't been down in hours. I went to check on her, but she pretended to be asleep. Maybe one of you can convince her to come down for supper. Jack and I are just finishing cooking now."
"We'll see what we can do. Do you mind if we…" Kurt gestured to the stairs.
Nodding, Maggie explained how to find the room Rachel was in.
"Shelly, why don't you give them a minute? Help me set the table."
"Mom…"
"Please…"
Shelby was torn. She wanted to see Rachel and make sure she was alright, comfort her if Rachel let her, but she knew what her mother was doing. It wasn't the right time for her to rish in there and potentially make things worse.
"Okay. Please come find me if you need me," she told the kids.
They nodded and ran off.
"Now you," Maggie pointedly said, "Tell me what's going on. That poor girl showed up here in a panic. What the hell happened?"
"Let's get dad so we only have to do it once."
The trio sent Beth off to play before they mingled in the kitchen together, finishing up dinner and discussed what Shelby knew and what has happened since Rachel arrived there. Maggie and Jack were heartbroken for their granddaughter. No one deserved to have that happen.
"I wonder if the person was harassing her was the same person who accosted her at the diner the other day."
"What?"
"When were you at the diner?"
"I went to see her after Shelby told us she would like to get to know us… Just to make sure she was comfortable with that and not just agreeing because she felt she should."
"And?"
"When I got there, her coworker told me she was out in back, so I went to catch her. Thought it might be better to surprise her away from the patrons in case she was unhappy to see me."
Smart…
"But when I walked out, someone was grabbing her. She let out a yelp, and I yelled. They guy let go, she fell, and he ran off. Rachel said it was some homeless guy. I made sure she was ok, but she was insistent. The way the guy walked off just didn't sit right with me. I was going to bring it up with you, Shel, when we came up for the weekend. Now I wish I said something sooner, especially if that's connected."
"It's not your fault, Dad."
"She's seeing a therapist, right, Shelby? Is she on any anti-anxiety medications?"
"I don't know. She does see a therapist, but the most I get out of her is that she's going and all is well. She's not exactly telling me her treatment plan, Mom."
"She had a panic attack earlier," Maggie recounted. "I was able to calm her down, but she was pretty worse for wear."
"I wish there was something I could do to make her feel better… She has been through so much and there's nothing I can do. Now, all I want is to go to her. It's killing me sitting here while she's so close, and not being able to go check on her."
"Give her friends a moment, Shelby."
"I'm trying."
She really was trying, but things weren't exactly going smoothly upstairs.
Kurt and Santana made it upstairs, but stopped when they reached the door they presumed was Rachel's. In hushed whispers, they debated whether to knock or just go in. Before they could make a decision, the door swung open and made them jump.
"What are you doing here?"
"Rachel," Kurt squealed, immediately giving her a hug.
She tensed and froze for a moment before sinking into his embrace. It was Kurt. He was safe. Beyond that, though, she was shattered all over again. If they were there, that meant they knew. They knew and probably saw…
"You know," Rachel cried into his shoulder, a shuttering sob escaping her lips.
"It… It was all over school. I'm so sorry, Rachel."
"How are you?" Santana asked. "Are you ok?"
Stepping away from Kurt, Rachel looked at Santana through water clouded eyes.
"Right… Stupid question…"
Sniffling, Rachel asked, "How did you find me? I came here because I didn't think anyone would look for me here and I needed to get away."
"Shelby."
Wide eyed, Rachel couldn't help the yell she let out, "Shelby? You told Shelby?!"
"Yes," Santana said, sheepishly.
"How could you do that? Why would you do that?"
"Rachel, we had to. You disappeared and we needed to make sure you were alright. We didn't tell her anything until we absolutely had to."
"That doesn't make it better."
Rachel felt overwhelmed all over again.
"No. No. No…"
Over and over again, she repeated the word, "no," as her breathing became more rapid and she paced the room. Kurt reached out to touch her shoulder and immediately pulled it back when she looked at him like he had stabbed her.
"Don't touch me!"
Both Santana and Kurt backed up. The three adults downstairs heard the yelling and made their way toward the second floor. Jack hung back with Beth to keep her occupied, but the women went toward the room.
When they approached the door, Rachel was backed away from the others, hands clasped in fists, eyes squeezed shut, and breathing rapid. She was trying to get it under control. She couldn't lose it again.
In, two, three, four. Hold, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Out, two three, four, five, six, seven, eight… Repeat. Repeat.
They all just stood and watched. Rachel appeared to have a handle on things this time and they needed to give her a moment and stay out of her way.
"Stop looking at me like that," Rachel huffed. "Ugh, this is so embarrassing."
Maggie took a step closer into the room and said, "Honey, you have nothing to be embarrassed about."
"You told them," Rachel yelled to Shelby. "Great. Now everyone knows. I hate this. I hate this."
"Rachel… It's ok."
Angrily, stilling and looking Shelby directly in they eyes, Rachel hissed, "Is it? Tell me how? I can never show my face at school again. There was a poster of me… Naked… hanging in my class. Everyone saw."
"It's horrible, Rachel. Really, it is, but we're not judging you or upset with you… We're just sorry it happened."
"You don't understand. No one understands."
"Ok… So make us understand. Please," Maggie pled.
But Rachel remained silent, already feeling like she said too much.
"I don't want to talk about anything. I came here to get away from it… To be… Away and not have to deal with it and you all brought it here. I don't want to think about it. Please," she begged. "Please…"
"Alright. Why don't we put a pause on this. Dinner is ready, and you need to eat. Let's try to have a quiet dinner and then figure some things out. How does that sound?"
Rachel couldn't get out the words, but there was a silent thank you shared.
"Come on, everyone. Let's head to the dining room. Beth and Jack are waiting on us."
Maggie wrangled them out the door one by one, hanging back a moment when Rachel didn't seem to be moving.
"It's ok, honey, it's just dinner. No one will say anything."
Maggie put her arm around Rachel's shoulders and gently led her on, trailing just behind the rest of the group. It was hard for Rachel to just put one foot in front of the other. It felt a bit like she was walking into her own execution, though she was sure Maggie was right and no one would say anything, especially with Beth there, she couldn't stop the feeling.
She was right. No one said anything. Not even Beth talked. It was an utterly quiet and awkward dinner. No sounds but the scratching of metal forks on glass plates and the exchange of awkward glances here and there. It was horrible in a different way.
It didn't help that she had no appetite and just pushed the food around, causing many sideways glances at her with worried eyes. Everyone was looking at her with pity and concern. The little runaway was going to implode, they knew it. Everyone saw it. She would be perfectly fine if everyone just forgot she was there and she had the quiet solace she came there for, but that wasn't going to happen.
She just wanted to disappear. She wanted them to look at someone else like they were on their death bed. She wanted to erase the last three months of her life…
"Anyone want dessert?" Jack asked, officially breaking the silent conversations and tension of the room.
"Me," Beth was quick to say. "Can it be ice cream?"
"Anyone else?"
A round of no sounded. No response from Rachel, but she hadn't touched her dinner, so they all took that as a no as well.
Jack took Beth's hand and led them back into the kitchen. As much as he wanted to be a part of whatever happened next, he knew his place was with Beth for now.
"You really should have eaten more," Santana told Rachel. "You remember the doctor said you need to eat better."
"Doctor? What doctor? Are you ok?" Kurt asked.
"Great Santana, please tell everyone more of my business."
"Maybe we should and things would be better."
"What does that mean?"
"It means you've been secretive and something is wrong. Something that led to someone sending a scandalous picture of you to the entire student body of NYADA."
"Everyone? They sent it to everyone?"
"Shit," Santana murmured as Rachel looked to Kurt.
"Did you get it? You saw?"
Bashfully, he nodded. He neglected to add that some of the people in his class got it and showed him right away. The way they discussed her body… He would never repeat that to her.
"Are you kidding me? It was bad enough when I thought it was just a poster and maybe sent to a few people, but everyone saw? I can't go back. I have to drop out. Everything is ruined now."
"Rachel…"
"No. No! Everyone was staring," Rachel barely coherently said. "Then I walked into class and there it was. Me, naked for everyone to see. So I ran. I couldn't process any of it. The walls were closing in and I needed out. Hopped on the first train and came here hoping to escape and not think about it. Pretend it never happened, but then you all showed up here. Why did you all show up here?"
"Rachel, you went missing. No one knew where you were, and we were all worried."
"I wish you didn't. You don't understand. No one understands."
"Then help us understand. Help us so we can help you."
"You don't get it."
This time, Maggie was the one to reach out and make Rachel jump. Maggie quickly recoiled as Rachel backed away, moving into a corner, trapping herself. She looked like a skittish puppy, unsure what to do and ready to attack.
"I'm sorry," Maggie said, taking a step back.
Everyone was concerned again. Rachel was panicking again, but they couldn't stop. They needed to get her talking before she closed off again. This time, they had to push.
"It's ok, Rachel. Please take a deep breath. No one here is going to hurt you. We just want to help."
"Talk to us, please."
"I can't," Rachel whispered, voice and eyes unfocused. "You don't understand. I can't believe this is happening. It shouldn't have happened. There shouldn't even have been any pictures."
"Sweetie, you're young. Sometimes young people get caught up in a moment and do things they're not proud of. It's ok."
"It's not ok," she yelled. "You don't understand."
"Then tell us, Rachel."
"Rach, do you know who sent that picture?"
"Was it the same guy that had been harassing you? I thought you said…"
"Stop talking Santana. You don't get it. Those pictures shouldn't even exist. I…"
"What does that mean?"
Everyone was staring at her. More than ever, she felt like a caged animal yearning for escape, but there was none. Questions just kept coming at her and she couldn't answer, but if she held this in for on moment longer, she really was going to explode.
"You don't get it."
"You keep saying that. What don't we get?"
"Those weren't fun pictures I took with a boyfriend."
"Then what were they?"
She was hyperventilating now, gripping at the wall to hold her steady. She couldn't say it. She couldn't. But she needed to."
"Say it. You need to say it, Rachel," Santana encouraged.
She was hoping she was wrong, but it was clear now that she wasn't. Now, Rachel needed to confront what happened so that she could get better, and they could help her along.
"I wasn't aware the pictures were taken," she cried. "I didn't even know it happened."
"What?"
There were collective gasps and a hushed "son of a bitch."
"I went out on the night of the showcase. I was drinking a lot. It was all my fault. All of it…"
"Say it Rachel," Santana said again.
"I didn't want it. I said no…"
"Ohh…"
Kurt stared wide eyed at his friend, Shelby looked ready to cry.
"I was… I was raped."
There, it was out there, and no one felt better for knowing it.