As your bright and tiny spark,
Lights the traveller in the dark.
Though I know not what you are,
Twinkle, twinkle, little star.
Chapter 8:
A Transformation to Remember.
You know, figuring out you could do heebie-jeebies mind stuff wasn't how I imagined my day would turn out.
If I did, subsequently my non-existent eyes wouldn't be as wide as saucers from the way I was staring openly, and rather stupidly might I add, at the source of my current bafflement.
Which was a kid. The same one who I had chanced upon during my first escapade through the walls of the Outside.
… Sort of?
I tentatively nudged said kid, who reacted by emitting faint flashes of light.
As in, aglow.
Frail.
And… blue.
I, uh, I don't believe children are supposed to glow or pop up as small-scale, spherical kindles. He even fit right into my palms!
Then again, individuals don't usually strand themselves inside of their heads, much less intrude on other people's. Something that I, apparently, somehow managed to accomplish.
(I didn't ask for this! H̵̠̮̪̠͒͂̓̄͑̍̂͘o̶̢̺̺̖̳̹̤͕̝̬̲͗͌͋̄͆͋̽̚͠w̶̭̼̿̓́͑̑͝ ̸̙̯̫̘̠͍͗̀̈́̐̓̈́̚ç̵̥̦̲̓ŏ̸̮̝̒͛̍̒̍̒̈́́u̴̧̟̫̇̏l̶͍̩̱̘̯͉̣͉͚͒̓̌̔͆̂̔̈́̆̓̄͜d̷̪͗̌̉̿̽͐͘ ̷̨͖̲̺̪̲͚̬̐̂Í̶̩̤̗͇̤̥͌͝͝ have–I̵̢̧̮̰̜̟̰͎̘̼̫̳̝̼̻̮͓̼̟͋͆̓̄̈́̍̅̊̔̽̇̈̒͜'̶̛̛̝̤̻̣̤̱̩̂̒͂̆̀͛͋̈́̄̇͘͜m̵̧̧̯̮͖͔̫͍̻̱̼̬̠͇̘̻͎̗̝̼̔̈́̀̒̉̐ ̶͈͉͇̾̾͆̀̏̓̈́̌s̵̭̜̳̠͓̫̠̞̿̓̇̇̅̉̓̕̚̕͜͠ỡ̶͚̭̙̲̬͆̌̐̄̄̏̆̌͂̅͋̉r̷̙̻̭̱̗̜̳̊̊͛r̵̀̍̃̈́̆̆̃͐̆͑̐̀̂̽͂̃̓͜͠͝͝͝y̶̧̡̧̡̛̰̱͎̥̩̯̠͇̯͎̣̥͇̙͉̼̼̐̀̒̏̿͆̕.̷̧͇̞̙̰̗͓̩͓̥͗̎͂̈́̏͛͌̿̊̃̈́̀̔̀̏́̎̚͘̚͝ I̶̧̝̰̝̺̺̩̙̖̻̥͙̘͖͈̝̜͔̝̲͖͕͓̪̲̹̭̹̼̔̈̉̐̃̋̈́̋̇'̶̡̣̳͉̲̗̰̭̬͔̘̪̙̥̼͙̰̜̹͍̟̠̟͍͕̙͕̕ͅm̸͈͒̀̅ ̵̢̡̧̛͙̤̩̖͎̻̤͔̞̠̘̈̓̓̇̄̀̆͊͑̽̄̄͋̂̀͂̏͑͐̀͘͘̚̚͜͝͝͝͝ś̶̨̧̛̛͙̜̞̭̩̞̠̫͔̟̣͖̳̤̱͍̱͉̜̻͉̩̪̿̓͆̉̒́̊̓͆͌̃͌͒͆̋̎̌́͜͝͝͝͝͠ơ̶̡̢̧̨͔̹̞͇͉͍̯̫̻̭̜̥͈̮͔͒̆̓̐̾̏̋̀̔͜͜͝ř̴̤̘͕͖͙͙̬͚͕̣̊̓̾̏̍͂͗͒̕̚͝r̵̢̡̡̧͔̰̗͉̬̱̪͕̻̞̠̮̖̭̰͇͓̥̿͜ͅͅͅy̴͎̤̼̥͌͝!̷̙͍̼̼͕̳̠͒̌͋̔́̈͑̑͐̌̔̀̾̀́̀̈́͋̆͋͒̚)
As if hearing conversations from far away or studying the creatures from the Outside wasn't boggling enough. Now I have to deal with this whole debacle.
If there's one thing I've learned during my unwanted vacation here, it is that the laws of nature and common sense don't exactly apply. It produced more questions than answers, but at least it clarified some of the crazy shenanigans occurring all around me.
Still, ẗ̸̢͔̤̣̮̿͜ͅḧ̷̨͚͈̭͚̬̭i̴̫͕̱̲͍̹͗́s̷͎̘̥̦̦͎͔̟̖̽̊͌̒́̽ was the cherry on top.
"U Uu uu."
I tried to find the proper words for the ball of light, but found myself tongue-tied as he curled closer to the nubs I called hands.
In my ghostly friend's Declassified Mindscape Survival Guide, or basically: How To Use Your Brainpower 101 For Dummies (patent not included. Dubbilex heavily emphasized that tidbit). It interprets how everyone—and I mean everyone—has mental defense mechanisms.
Whether it's subconscious or with our acknowledgment, those defenses will surge as an avatar we can relate to.
People we admire, respect, or love, recollections of places we have strong attachments to, or good feelings allocated to particular objects; we will invoke anything we identify as a "safe place" into guard dogs within the bounds of our psyche.
All to ensure our protection.
.
.
(W̶̡͎̦̼̰͙͉̲͓̯̗̘̙̜̝͔͗͊̿̐̓̊̍̀̈́̀̋̈̆̿̈́̀̊̚͝͝ă̵̡̛̞̮̹̫̤̹̲̠̘̑̌̈́͗͝ì̸͉̹͖͙̿̈̂̾̍̿̉̔͛̅̚̕t̷̢̧̗̗̥̲͚̣͉̘͖̣̘̙̠̰͙̹̟͆́̅̏̃̚͜.)
.
.
If you're the one parading around in your head, you'll see a personification of yourself. It's trickier to explain, but it comprises the outer appearance of the present you manifesting in your inner world.
An exact, intangible copy. And few have the knowledge or desire to change themselves otherwise.
Why would they? If the eyes are the window to the soul, then our thoughts, our convictions, and our reveries are the reflections of our true nature.
Shallow waters that mirror what kind of person you are deep inside, and it was something fundamental that even you could not deny. Regardless of what the truth was.
But...
(D̵̡̢̢̧̛͕̼͉͔͓͖̥͕̥̼̰͎̞͎̞͙̲̝͚͉͍̦̼̫͚̟͚͈̐̄͑́̿̈̆̄͗̎͋͌́̅͒̃͂͑́̈́̾̕͠͠͠͝͝ͅͅǫ̷̠͓̣̣͎̺͚̪͈̯͙̰͙̘̣̬͚͔̝̹͍̭̣͇̣̯͉͍̗̗̘̣̠̥͍̲̗̣͍̗̲̔̈͒̒̑̓̀͆̐̓͑̉̊͌͑͒̎͗̔̽̀͊̊̊̀̈̿̉́̎͑̊͘̚̚͜͝͝ͅe̷̢̧̡̧̨̧̡̧̨̡̛̼̟͖͔̲͙͖̙͓̠̲͇̭̻̦͇͍̖͈̩̪̻̲̳͈̰͎̺͎̰̩̣͈͎̣͒̿̆̀̑͂̒̏̓̐́̾͂͑̎̀̓̊̀̉̇͑̃̈͊̆̾͂̇̈́̈͑̆̋͒̏̐͒͐̍̀̾̏͘͠͠͝͠͠ͅͅs̷̨̨̨̨̢̡͍̭̼̗̥̤̥̞̪̙̜̘͉̖͍͇̝̳̩̤̤̗̭̳͇̣̗̖̯̆̀͜ͅ ̸̡̡̮̖̭̜͔̲͖̻̥̦̬̻̲̤̫̮͎̰̳̩͋̃͂͌̈́̇̌͒͋̉̑́̍̓̽̈́̽̄̅̐̂̅͒̊̎̔́̇͒̾̆͐̑́̌̍̒̄̃͝͠͝͠͝ t̷̡̨͙͖̤͚̼̠̬͍̖̳̻̝͈̝̮̪̙̼̝̣͖͔͔̗̤͉͓̔͌̄̍͆̏̾̅͗͆͑̓͆̈́̈́̊̈́̊̋͆̚͘͜ḩ̶̢̛͕͓̃̾̌̅̊̐̄͒̐̒̈̃̓͑͗́̈́̀͗̾͑̚̚ͅǎ̵̧̡̛͉̥̻̞̯̭͎̘̞͎̟͉̣̮͖̫̙̜̩͉͕̣̠͍̯̓̿͆͊͊̽̊̄̓̋̀̊̿̆͑͐́̿̐̂̿̌͊̃͆͐́̓͆̚̚ͅť̸̢̡̛̲͚̻̲͇̺̩̻͍͔͕͔̜͔͓̼̦͚͇̻̣̦͙͚̩͈̝̖͍͈̠͎̰͕̤̱͆̀͌̎̎̈́͊̌̈̍͐̂̈́̚͜͝͝ ̵̡̡̲̲̞̺͓̫͉͔̗͈̞͕͕̭̩̬͔̖͓͓̩̗͎̭̫̻͍̜̤̜̞͈̪̹͖̭͓͈͎͚̓̉͑̂͂̔͒̀̏̉̐̑̒̀̈̿̀͘͜͝͝͝m̶̨̢̩͔̤̫̦̻͉̯̯͍͉̮̣͉͚̍̆̾̋̃̑̒̓͆̇͂͒̓̚͠e̷̙͎̙͋̅̅͒̐͂̈́͊̒̈́͐͋̒̈́͊̂̀͒͛̆̌͑̈́͋͆͐̚̕̚ą̶̩̤̼̳͚̳̬̜̦̯̲̯̪͓͔̦͓͖̥͖̪͍̲͔̀͐͂̆́͋͒̏̒̊͑̃͋̌̊͊̃̿̌͐̆͛͐̾̀̏̌̐̄̾́̄̽̚̚̚͘͜͝͝͠ͅn̷̛͕͂͂̍̽̿̎̉̄́͌̀̆͊͆͊͝-̷̎̊͌͐̓́̍̅̚͝)
'You don't have a sense of self.' I whispered, aghast, taking in the vast white room.
The space that should represent Othe was devoid altogether. His very essence all amounted to a wispy, almost phantom-like luminescence.
I caressed him, softly tending his formless lapis lazuli body, surprised by the minor quakes in his glimmer increasing along with the radiance. Not because I gauged him to be scared or have negative sentiments, but because those movements belonged to tremblings akin to what I assumed was glee.
"uu UuuU!"
His peal of laughter was silent, yet flared so vibrantly with an azureous intensity.
As if barely cognizant of self-awareness. Close to what a newborn's mindset looked like before attaining the childhood phase.
And that's what unsettled me the most.
"UuuU?"
A sense of self allows humans to recognize themselves, understand and tune in to their emotions, thoughts, and actions. Because a form of identity is crucial to grow and live on, to distinguish reality and connect ourselves to it.
He doesn't comprehend much. If anything at all. Purely an instinct that I can't fathom that's allowing him to interact with me. And if he, a child(?), took so long to emulate sounds (mentally or verbally), then it puts into question…
What else is he missing?
(Am I…
I
N
C
O
M
P
L
E
T
E
?)
*Badump*
.
.
Every little creek on the Outside suddenly sounded a thousand times indistinctive.
Hushed, muffled.
A slow and steady match had been lit, and the heat in my hands felt like it was on fire and would spontaneously combust at any rate. But it was a good flame, one that reminded me of a campfire sheltering their campers from the dangers of the wilderness and the starry sky.
Maybe time crawled to a slowdown because it had triggered a primal flight reaction or something like it. A massive flood of adrenaline shooting through me like a drug and made me feel alive.
'Hello again!' I braced myself, hugging the miniature sun.
*Badump*
*Badump*
Besieged in a world lacking color, hearts pounded with each trail thought fluttering similar to a hummingbird's wings. Beating so loudly I expected it would be heard for sure.
'Do you know how long I've been waiting to meet you?'
(Far. Too. Long.)
An ineffable emotion flowed forward. Happiness? Wistfulness? Joyful yet longful?
It couldn't be defined. Neither could the lad in my grasp. 'Ever since the day you welcomed me into your presence.'
Because he wasn't just some random person in the same circumstances as me.
'Thank you...' This boy, the warmth and tranquility that percolated through his light, assembled the missing parts of me.
Roughly like I was… whole once more. Telling me I wasn't alone.
'For being my rock, my anchor, Othe.'
For he was my other half.
*Badump*
*Badump*
Our worlds hummed as they interconnected with one another.
There were no bells to be had; solely drums booming and thudding with a sonorous fervor. Blaring both blue and red incandescent shades across the blank canvas.
*Badump*
*Badump*
･ﾟﾟ･:｡.｡:ུ۪: ｡.｡ *･ﾟﾟ･
"UuUUuuuuuuu…?"
'No.'
"UUu uuuU."
'Not that either.'
"uuuuu!"
If he could pout, I bet you my broken ass wallet he'd be doing that. Probably wear a frown on his mug every day. I just know it.
The pace he was twinkling with was a dead giveaway.
'That's not even close! Think really hard, then project outward your intentions.' I twirled my cookie dough figure and extended a fist to the empty air with a zest for emphasis.
'Punch your feelings into it and BAM! You'll be speaking and walking like a pro, but looking better than me. Hopefully.'
Alright, I might have gotten ahead of myself. Being a teacher was harder than it looked. Who knew?
Dubbilex made it seem so easy with his cryptic Yoda approach nonsense.
Maybe it had to do with the unfilled space in his head, but even with my lackluster explanations, Othe absorbed everything similar to a sponge. The little firefly was flying left and right after cracking the secrets to maneuver through his mindscape. Although crashing and tumbling from the outskirts of the walls toned it down a peg.
"Uuu Uuuu."
Despite that, what he wanted to express with "words" was inconceivable for the moment. That didn't prevent us from understanding one another, though. I'll keep the complexity of the system we had been working on to myself.
We need no more bullshit under our belts.
Still, I had to give credit when it was due. He was, after all, young. A quick-witted kid that started to learn by picking up on my sentences (that was some time ago, right?). Mature in a sense, but a 5-year-old nonetheless.
(I discerned him to be younger than that. Or was my imagination running wild as of late? I wonder if this is how Dubbilex felt whenever we interacted.
Either way, I recognized how messed up that was on so many levels. The implications make my blood boil.
When I get my hands on his progenitors, I swear I'll-)
My stubby arms reached out, only for me to face plant into the ground every time I strived to grapple the eager light.
With each step I took, huffs of ragged breathing would exude from my Oompa-Loompa framework, while Othe was having the time of his life hovering about.
Being short sucked.
It was already challenging to manifest my ability under my domain, but in someone else's territory? It was downright brutal.
Unless I had a stronger will than the original host… and subsequently broke them in the process. Which wasn't going to happen under my watch. I was alright with being out of my comfort zone, specially since I'm technically trespassing on Othe's mind.
"UUuuuUuUuu uu!"
*Badump*
I sensed our surroundings shifting, and the familiar bleached environment transformed. One of foxtail lilies enlarging from a sea of green, and the endless celeste airspace with puffy iridescent clouds above us.
… And Othe had shortly corrected that fact, and blatantly permitted me to do whatever I desired.
Didn't your parents alert you that all strangers might be potentially dangerous?
"Uuu?"
I'm thankful for the change of scenery, but please don't grant the keys to controlling your brain to a gal you just met. Or anyone. Period.
'I'll explain why in the easiest manner possible, among other matters. In return, you come over here and I'll show you pretty stuff such as… this!'
Plopping on the bogus grass, I patted the area beside me and snapped my metaphorical fingers.
The patch of land did nothing. The pasture structure blew against the breeze I summoned, swishing absently the beads of dirt from the roots.
Before they acquiesced and flourished to the prairie's surface. The verdure delicately rearranged itself and birthed large stalks, branching precocious six viridescent dot-like freckles on its sepals. Flowers grew and sprung forth into the innocence of an early spring, carefree youth, and hopeful, glistening petals shaping themselves into snowdrops.
'What can I say? I'm a bit of a green thumb.'
I stroked the thin milk-flowered Eurasian plants. And turned around, unfazed, to view Othe buzzing around the perennial blooms with childlike curiosity.
'These are called Snowflakes. I didn't peg Dubbilex to be a flower guy, but knowing him, he left me these with their symbolism in mind.' My giggles saturated the atmosphere.
Albeit with melancholy permeating from the absence of my mentor-slash-friend.
'When you're more aware, I want you to comprehend that if you're ever struggling, and feel as if all hope seems lost, remember this…'
I grabbed the spheric child and moved him closer to the florets. 'We have the ability to overcome the challenges in our lives. A reminder that you can do great, unimaginable things in life–if only you set your mind to it.'
'There is nothing that can make you fail if you have the drive to succeed!'
There's a reason why the mind is man's greatest tool. If you can firmly believe, then anything can become a reality.
Anything.
'uUUUUUuuu???' He casted a navy blue luster over me. Presumably aiming for the flowers.
'Oops, almost forgot. Dubbilex is a cranky grandpa, but on the inside? He's a huge nerd. Fanatic, I say. A sincere sweetie and harmless to a fault. He couldn't stop gaping at all the concepts I presented him with. And get this...' I exaggerated my motions by waving up and down.
'He's a GHOST!'
'UuUuUu UUU!'
'Well, the accurate term is genomorph, but even I don't know the fu–er… fudge nuggets, that is. Yeah, let's go with that! Which… you won't realize what a ghost is, anyway. Geez, this is worse than when I was teaching Dubbilex about Earth-'
'UUU UU UUUUUU!!!'
'Um, Othe? Can you lower the brightness a tad? It's-' The diffused light intensified, so when I brought my "palms" to block it and continue with the conversation, well…
.
.
.
.
A hand, an actual hand, gleamed back.
"Uu uuuu."
Gobsmacked for who knows for how long, and for how many times ever since I had been whisked away here, nobody could judge me for staying there stock-still. Tracing not the pallid chibi botched physique I had going on, but the honest-to-god skin.
Pinkish, clear and consistent texture patterns. Blemished faded scars were visible when I wiggled the five lifelike fingers attached to it, gratifying the warm, shining beacon of starlight in my clutches.
It took me another lengthy period to recognize I was blinking for real this time, genuinely captivating the cognitive realm to memory.
The body I had forgotten.
*Badump*
*Badump*
Othe's slipped out and nested on my scalp. And with no shame or embarrassment whatsoever, I used my freed, newly/closely acquainted palms…
.
.
And touched the salty tears dripping to my lips as I began to ugly cry.
･ﾟﾟ･:｡.｡:ུ۪: ｡.｡ *･ﾟﾟ･
"-cerebrum activity is remarkable-"
"-begin education? How soon? Were we not giving time-"
"-haven't you heard what the procedure entails? It precedes the creation of the weapons."
Stacks of papers swooshed, and a pair of red irises observed attentively.
"Not much, I am afraid. Merely rumors of recovering a metallic casket. Is that affirmative?"
"-primitive, but tests marked it positive. Per request, Desmond collected the remains and recently distributed them among the staff to experiment with. I'm amazed nothing transpired at your end-"
"-policy indicates accelerating their natural growth for deployment, but-"
"-yeah, all batches have ended in total failure. If it can be even called that way. That destruction and cellular collapse… I've honestly never seen anything quite like it."
"... me neither…"
"-Ha… in this line of work and age we live in? Anything's possible nowadays. But rules of rules: repeat the process until it succeeds. Return to the testing phases before Desmond gives us an earful. And don't neglect they've designated it as-"
"I see."
Dark scarlet glows could be seen reflected on a grayish limb, and a scientist standing motionlessly in a lost daze.
"That is all."
Dubbilex pared down the mental probing, and kept the latterly gained presage to himself.
তততততততততততততততততততততততততত
SI be Like:
SI: Teach you, I will. Master this, you shall.
Othe: *Literally just pronounces and extends the letter U.*
Meanwhile:
Dubbilex: Do not mind me, I am simply….
Dubbilex: Pursuing a hobby.
A/N
It's something of an author's tick not liking their own chapters sometimes. For me? This is such an occasion. Aaaaaaaaaa.
Snowflowers are real plants named Leucojum representing purity, innocence, and memory of youth. They are small, delicate flowers that bloom and die early in the year.