In orbit
Like mothers telling children's stories, we imbue religions with our teachings.
- MISSIONARIA PROTECTIVA TRAINING MANUAL
The shuttle's take off was everything Rabbi Olza had ever dreaded: gravity's oppression on her body, her vision focusing into the narrow area in front of her seat, sweaty hands clenching the armrests. She focused all her energy and dignity on keeping her protesting stomach under control, closing her eyes. As soon as she found the courage to re-open them, the pilot commented "approaching spaceship", but she could not find the willpower to look up. My first journey in space.
Then all sensations of weight dissolved, her body floating within the strict limits of the seat belts. Her arms lifted upwards, the blue of the sky became the starry black of space. She suppressed a gasp. The atmosphere below looked like a protective glass for the planet below, wisps of white circling near the equator. Solitary orbital stations flickered like distant fireflies.
Unable to contain a spasm, she reached out to the bag in front of her. The pilot politely ignored her. When a few minutes later she finally came back to her senses, she realized she just might get used to the weightlessness. "Docking complete," announced the pilot, but she could not see much as the window's view was obstructed by a yellow surface. In the minutes needed for the pilot to coordinate with the no-ship's crew to open the hatch, she prepared herself for the walk over to the interstellar vessel.
Like my ancestors have done while fleeing the old Imperium.
The air changed as the passage was opened. The pressure imperceptibly dropped. To her surprise the air smelled like forest and pinecones. Under the guidance of the crew, she and twenty other passengers unbuckled their seat belts and gently floated along the central corridor, terrified hands on the rails, rotated clumsily to align themselves with the upside down entrance of the no-ship, and lightly dropped a foot on the floor, felling the reassuring downward pressure of artificial gravity. A woman in saffron smiled at her and extended a hand.
"Rabbi Olza, blessed is she who comes in the name of the Lord. Welcome aboard."
"You must be Rebecca?" the Rabbi murmured walking two paces, then looked back at the odd-angled shuttle entrance and felt the room spin. Rebecca helped her steady herself, offering her to smell a small box that looked like perfume. "It's essence of rosewood. Somehow it helps to adjust."
Rabbi Olza inhaled the subtle scent, closed her eyes, and felt the world return to normal. They walked through the dimly lit corridors as the front of a line of new visitors (hostages!).
"I expected..." she ventured, "flashing lights, mysterious pipes and the buzzing of machines, but this seems..."
"It looks like a palace, doesn't it?" commented Rebecca. The corridor had false windows on the sides showing sweeping landscapes... jungle forests, sandy beaches. She swore she felt a breeze on her neck as the palm trees swayed gently in the wind. Down a few steps, and they were in a large hall with chandeliers, lined up with functional but comfortable seats. The projection of a fire burned softly in the fireplace.
"This is the Arrival Hall. This way please," said Rebecca while swiftly guiding her through a maze of corridors. Contrary to all expectations, Rabbi Olza could not tell she was thousands of feet above the planet's surface, inside a giant structure whose air, light and gravity had nothing to do with her planet's. Yet she did not feel estranged.
"Rabbi Estel told me about you."
"With a stern reproach in his tone, I would assume," replied her host.
"Quite so," said the Rabbi. "Does claustrophobia ever get to you here?"
"The panoramic rooms help," Rebecca replied, "you can look at Delphyne below, or project natural landscapes from a variety of worlds. This is the way."
She followed another series of corridors, steps, and elevators, then all the newcomers split up to reach the living quarters. Rebecca took the Rabbi to a small brown door leading to a small but cozy apartment. By the length of it and the careful layout of the furniture she could sense how space was a scarce resource in space. The bright lights matched Delphyne's sun, bringing back some joy. Books lined the shelves. She recognized subtle touches - a wash basin in the small kitchen, a silver candelabra. She felt her feet touch the floor lightly thanks to the slightly lower gravity.
"So I have in front of me a Reverend Mother and one of us. What a circumstance," continued the Rabbi as she finally took a moment to observe her host. "I look at your eyes and I can see the force of your soul shining through!"
"How do you find your apartments, Rabbi?"
"I am surprised at the comfort. Still, I will need to get used to this, this... confinement."
"This ship is large and designed for long-term travel. There are many places to explore."
"Oh, I do not fear boredom. I could look down at my birth planet. And I have to read and to write. But you, Rebecca... we have ground to cover."
"How so?" replied a shy Rebecca. "Rabbi Estel says he tried to bring me back to my simpler self, to no avail. And yet," she looked at the Rabbi with a pensive gaze, "there is nothing for me to hide, no complexity that cannot be explained."
"Forget him! You are who you are. A courageous woman! Heavens know I was never made to risk my life with the spice." Rabbi Olga sat at the table, then inquired: "I will make my own judgment. Tell me about what you have seen."
"Rabbi," started Rebecca, "I have millions of minds in me. My ancestors show me our history, sometimes eventful, sometimes made of tiny little details... a cart on the road, the sound of harvest. I am of the People, and yet another window has opened in me, one through which peek through women with different wisdom and knowledge. These sisters have carved out a space that is forever thought-provoking."
"So tell me, then. Tell me about these Bene Gesserit."
"Well... imagine... seeing through a million lenses. It is a dazzling sensation, to experience every thought and every sensation from the purview of a multitude."
"So what do they believe in?"
"There is a strength of intent in these Sisters that cannot be ignored, and a calling that while entangled in human affairs, - whether well intentioned or not, I do not tell - is persistent in its application for the betterment of humanity."
Rabbi Olza looked back, skeptic. "And truly atheists, all of them?"
"They are deeply in love with humanity, so that thoughts of transcendence hardly enter their mind."
"Self-serving in their motives, my dear?"
"They are a puzzling paradox of benevolent stewardship, coupled with a strong grasp of their powers. Only the weak would allow itself to be bent by unchanging principles."
"Manipulators of religion, eh?"
"They are ruthlessly pragmatic as to what the necessities of survival require. In that they see themselves as chosen ones, or better said they have elected themselves as shepherds of humanity."
"Elevating themselves because no one ever asked. Controlling people from afar, manipulating dogma to suit their necessities, interfering with governments from the shadows."
"Yes, but..."
"How does this wisdom help you, Rebecca? Or is it the power within that tempts you? Do you mean that their goals justify their means?"
"If you had the power, and a moral compass, would you not use it?"
"There is no real power beyond what comes from the Lord!"
"As you say, Rabbi. But mundane power..."
"All power is subject to abuse by the self-righteous, the unbelievers, the self-proclaimed morally superior. Some would say their moral goal is to stay in power, above the old empire, men, and maybe gods!"
"And some may indeed be deluded in this fashion, but the strength of their dedication to perfect the human being..."
"... humanity as a whole? Or just their own genetic stock?"
"Responsibility makes you liable to failure. I don't defend their actions. But I admire how they are unapologetically risking themselves, taking responsibility and the burden of looking out for others. Assist humanity."
"An easy cause for hubris, for sure."
"Indeed. Hubris, self-contentment, power lust, and a number of other tendencies which they stomp on and attempt to weed out with their training and from their genes as well. They are far from perfect, indeed. It is not for me to defend their actions. But I have come to appreciate their thirst for wisdom, their desire to act. Rabbi Estel thinks me as a heretic, but I see value in their lessons."
"They seem to me just tricks to fuel human delusions."
"Would not the bold risk the audacity of being delusional?"
"Where is the faith? Where is the selflessness of dedicating yourself to a higher being? Where is the temperance, the balance-seeking, the soul-searching, the questioning? Tell me, do they have any of that?"
"If you replaced the word Lord with Humanity, then I see glimpses of that in their best leaders. No. I don't ask that they be understood, Rabbi, only..."
"Only what, we should learn from the impious and the idolater?"
"I beg you, if not listening to them, listen to me, to one of us!"
The Rabbi paused, holding her gaze with Rebecca's.
"You seem to like their very public profession of holiness!"
"I don't. I can't but compare how they are diving into human affairs, raising stakes for themselves, while we..."
"While we stay in hiding, busy with ourselves!"
Rebecca hesitated. "I know the reasons of our secret society."
"And yet you like to think we could be opening up! Taking a greater stance in the course of humanity! And you say there are lessons these Sisters bring to us!"
"I am baring myself in front of you, Rabbi. My life was content. Jubilous, even, as I embraced the past lives of so many of my ancestors. It felt like a great book to read and re-read. But then life happened. A new book was given to me, one that speaks many languages and is breath-taking, by contrast, to everything I have known. And yet with so many points in common. I yearn to share this book, so that I am not the only reviewer. A reader does not have to buy into the narrative, only to think."
"Read it, then," ordered Rabbi Olza.
"Yes, Rabbi?"
"I said: read this book! Get it out of your head, these lives and these learnings you find so compelling. Show me that there is something we could gain."
"I..." replied a surprised Rebecca, "... would not know where to start..."'
The Rabbi's voice sounded like a whiplash: "You have been fidgeting all this time, what for? Millions of voices in your head, what for? Record this wisdom. By all means I am not sure I will like it, but I promise I will give it a fair reading. We will sift through this paydirt and see if it is really gold nuggets that you have found."
"Thank you, Rabbi."
"Don't thank me! You have no idea what burden you have brought on yourself. And me!"
"But, Rabbi Estel said..."
"One more thing. Tomorrow is Yom Kippur. You will atone for the knowledge you have acquired, and this yearning for endangering our lineage. And I will talk to your Rabbi."
Rebecca looked relieved. "I will, Rabbi."
"Good, dear Rebecca! How else are we going to spend all this time? We will start in two days. You and I will have a talk, we will search memories, like a fisherman casting his nets, and see that we catch something to bring home. Because I have to ask something in return."
Rebecca smiled faintly. "My guess is that you are more interested in our ancestors."
"Equally interested, my dear. I want to learn about our migrations, the diaspora in Rossak and Lepan and Hrowl. I want to trace lineages. I am a historian of our people. You will take me back to Terra."
"How far back?"
"How far back do you go? I want you to look deep into the times of our scriptures."
"Please Rabbi Olza! I can tell you about New Palestine. Go back to the Sephardites, tell you about Hillel's family, Venice's ghetto, ..."
"In time! Tell me now about our scriptures. Who wrote them? Tell me about the events that unfold in the Books. Tell me: what eye-witness memories can you bring forth?"
"Rabbi Olza, I have not gone that far in the past," lied Rebecca with admonishing eyes.
"So... then, go: remember the truth!" said Rabbi Olza, hopeful.
"I can give you testimony to the life your ancestors had in old Palestine, Rabbi," said Rebecca, "the yellow sun over the dry land, the shepherds and the farmers and old professions forgotten to time; I can tell you of the rites of ancient Canaan, the Zealots and the Roman war; I saw King David walk through the streets as a five-year old. I can tell you of Babylon."
"Andf othe portents narrated in the scriptures, what do you know?"
"That they were told just as they are told today, with little differences, preserved in most details."
"Don't evade my questions. Have you... have your ancestors witnessed any of them? Tell me: the splitting of the Red Sea? Nourishment from the sky? Elijah's sacrifice consumed in front of the disciples of Baal?"
Rebecca feigned needing some time to search her memories. "No, Rabbi Olza. I have not."
The Rabbi was deflated. "You lie. I need no special power of yours. You have looked, of course you have looked, and found... reasons not to believe." Rabbi Olza searched deeply into Rebecca's eyes, who held her gaze.
"I have searched, Rabbi. With hope, then with fear. The miracle moments, I have not found any eyewitnesses for them. But the love of Him, I have searched and found in every single moment of our people's harrowing. I can only tell you that the past remains a mystery, and that faith would be required even if I had seen the sea part in front of my own eyes."
"So our scriptures, are they stories?"
"I do not know. I tell you this honestly, for having ancestors does not mean tracing our genealogy back to Abraham and Isaac and then to Adam and Eve. Having ancestors means having seen the atrocities, the cruelty, the evil in human nature repeated countless times, especially for us! And across centuries. And yet for each evil move, there is a countermove that keeps evil in check. I have witnessed countless people surging to the occasion to manifest courage, and love and piety that should be a model to us all of the Chosen ones."
Rabbi Olza stood quiet for a moment, contrasting emotions taking over her body. She sighed. "Well, I then will have much to atone as well. My own hubris is exposed, Rebecca. Such curiosity, to know what the experience of the Lord was truly as an eye-witness! Confirmations to wave away doubts and fear of death in the heart of a believer. No, I am put back in my place... Do not test the Lord as you tested Him at Massah."
Rebecca stood in the doorway, taking Rabbi Olza's arm under hers. "This ship, Rabbi," she said, "is immense. Levels and corridors and rooms as large as stadiums. My mind has been just like that - expanded, full of nooks and crannies revealing incredible places. It happened without me, despite me. But this is also all it is. Rooms in a spaceship. The spaceship itself does not explain the universe that contains it. That is the real mystery, one that we must investigate with our intuition day after day. All the lives inside me marvel at the present moment, at the now, and at what will be next. Come on, Rabbi, let's explore this ship, together. I have our wisdom preserved throughout the centuries and will make it all transparent to you, so that together we will build the future."