Biker Mice from Mars
Hard Luck, Sunni & Dently
The Dim-Wit-Inning
Part 1.
The Darkness was so thick it could be described as Suffocating. Add on the almost painful stillness and one could be excused for not noticing a simple event like the world coming to an end. It was the kind of place you wouldn't be able to tell if it had been like this for a few seconds or an eternity or two.
Scritch, click, clack, KA-BAM, WHOOSH!
"Ah, Quick get inside!"
"Close the Doors, Close the Doors!"
"OUCH, Watch where you're going, you ran over my Tail…Again!"
"Vroom, rumble, screech, grumble, Honk!"
"Don't back-talk Me! You Did Run Over My Tail!"
"Close the Doors, the Snows getting in!"
THUD!
The Undisturbed Silent Eeriness shattered like a mirror getting hit by a runaway train as the odd trio broke into the Motel What-A-View's Small Lobby as the Two Large Wooden Entry Doors came Crashing Open amidst a flurry of wind, snow and 3 Frost Caked Figures all but tumbling thru the opening!
Sunni, still wearing Hard Luck's big black coat, battered green helmet, and her pink backpack, walked into the center of the entryway and looked around as Hard Luck and Dently pushed the two big heavy wooden doors closed fighting against the Blizzard blowing with gale force winds that came out of nowhere.
Dently backed up against the doors, pushing them closed, as Hard Luck slumped down leaning against him while splashing into a pile of slush, snow, and ice. Grunting he reached up and pulled the uncomfortably snug pink helmet off his head. His big furry ears flopped out. He let out a sigh at finally getting some feeling back into them, other than being cramped and stiff that is. He carefully put the pink helmet down and reached underneath himself and painfully yanked his ice, and mud-stained bandaged wrapped tail out from under his cold and soggy backside, holding it up.
"Just look at my tail, look what you did to it!" He snapped holding the prehensile appendage up for Dently to see. The Bike's camera eye looked from the tail to the mouse holding it and back. "Rumble, grumble tumble." Hard Luck's green and yellow eyes almost popped out of his skull. "What'd you mean these aint your tire marks!?"
"Hey guys, you should get a look at this place!" Sunni called out, cutting off the inevitable squabble before it could begin. Hard Luck & Dently looked up at her, deciding to put their discussion on hold for now, Hard Luck sorely got up and stumbled over to her. "It's darker than a Gargnax's Ear Lobe in here, how are we supposed to see anything!?"
"Oops, sorry. I forgot." She giggled. "I'm using your helmet night-vision mode, I can see everything with it, it's awesome!" Hard Luck just stared at where he assumed she was. "You got it working, uh I mean, yeah, uh yeah it's great." He mumbled trying to not sound too impressed. Sunni giggling again reminded him that she could see in the dark, so she did notice.
"Hey, rattletrap, some light if ya don't mind?" Hard Luck cracked at Dently, who responded with an equally tart engine rattle before snapping on his headlight's high beam directly into Hard Luck's face. "Uhh, Thu, thanks!" He grumbled blinking rapidly as the Darkness was replaced with a just as blinding Brightness!
Sunni deactivated the green helmet and handed it back to Hard Luck who'd blindly bumped into her. He tossed it to Dently who caught it and put it away into His storage container. Looking around the small lobby, it was just that. A Lobby. The big front doors led to an office/lounge-type setup that was popular quite a few years ago.
Slanted wood paneling and a rather questionable color choice for the shag carpeting. A couch, a couple of chairs (all in the same garish color as said carpet), and a coffee table piled with old magazines. There were paintings and pictures of the view outside, of the motel and the owners supposedly. The Front Desk was towards the back, with an old rotary dial phone and an old leather-bound Registry book on the counter. Off behind that was a couple of Elevator Doors and a Stairwell. Plus, some vending machines are situated in between them. All of it Coated in Dust and Cobwebs.
"Gosh, this place is Super 70s!" Sunni took in the room, and taking her camera from her backpack she took a few quick pics of it. "As long as it's out of the wind and snow, I don't care what it looks like." Hard Luck said limping over to the sedan and heavily plopped down onto it. "Ack, cough, cough, hack, choke, Ah-CHOOO!" He broke out in a coughing and sneezing fit as he all but vanished in the thick cloud of dust that erupted from the chair!
"It's been a long time since anyone's been here!" Sunni gasped while running over and taking Hard Luck by his paws and pulling him out of the suffocating cloud. "Cough, hack, sniff, uh whatever gave ya that idea?" Hard Luck feebly joked trying to clear his mouth, nose, and lungs from the thick dust. "Oh, the dust." She replied.
Hard Luck could only stare back at her, still not sure if that aura of pure happy innocence on her face was as pure as it looked or if she was yanking his tail. "Ha, ha Funny." She smiled at him again and took off his coat and handed it to Dently who promptly crammed it in next to the helmet. 'Like you said, it's warmer and dry in here, so why don't we wait out the storm here for the night?"
Hard Luck just shrugged and peeled off her pink raincoat and handed it to her. "Works for me." She smiled and promptly folded up the coat and neatly put it away in her matching backpack.
"Guess we should find some rooms and check what condition they're in after a couple of decades, granted I've slept in rougher places. Hopefully, the room locks are as easy to pick as the front door." He spoke. "That, or we could just use the room keys." Sunni replied pointing at the room keys on the board behind the main desk. "Yeah, that works too, if ya wanna do it the Easy Way I suppose." He chuckled moving behind the desk.
Sunni walked up and stood at the desk, as Hard Luck spun around and took a farcical pose while slightly raising his nose in the air. "Welcome to our establishment Madame." He said in his best approximation of a snooty posh voice. "Oh, it's a wonderful place, I'm very glad I decided to stay here." Sunni smiled joining in on the gag.
"Yes, you should." Hard Luck replied starting to enjoy the play-acting. "Now let me just check to see…" He spun the old leather registry book around and ran a finger down it, leaving a line in the thick coating of dust on it. "Oh dear, my, my, my it appears You Don't have a Reservation, how Dreadful, an Oversight on Your Part I'm Sure, let me check to see if we have any Vacancies Shall I?" Still smiling Sunni did her best to stay in character.
"This was a bit of an unexpected stop, due to the weather, oh I Do Hope you have something available!?" She feigned dramatically. "Well, it IS the middle of the Busy Season, but I shall check to see if we have any Vacancies." He repeated not sounding hopeful about the prospect of it. They looked at the multitude of keys hanging on the hooks, all under a layer of thick dust and cobwebs. "Hmm, I really should have a word with housekeeping." Sunni had to laugh at that one.
"Miracle of Miracles, it seems we do have a FEW Openings, would Madame like a suite on the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, or 4th Floor?" He asked snootily looking down his nose at her. "Oh, 4th Floor most definitely, I hear the view is the best from there." She told him doing her best Happy Tourist impression. "Yes madame, let me see, top floor, top floor." He replied looking at the top row of keys. He grabbed two at the end of the row with fancier fobs on them.
"Would Madame like the Presidential Suite, or perhaps The Honeymoon Suite, Ooh Lala!" He asked her while jiggling the key in a saucy tone with his eyebrows going up and down. "Vroom!" Dently rumbled seeming to not like that last joke. "Hey, no comments from the peanut gallery, and wipe your tires before coming in here, this is a Fancy Joint!" Hard Luck snapped at him.
"Oh, I've never been in either type of room like those, I say we check them both out!" Sunni said taking both keys and looking at them. 'As Madame wishes, Bellhop Front!" Hard Luck called out at Dently while bringing his paw down on the silver bell sitting at the front desk. Clunk, Crack! "Oops!" Hard Luck squeaked when the bell fell apart instead of ringing. He quickly brushed the remains off the desk into an empty trash can.
Doing as requested, Dently rolled back and forth over the rug, which just made a bigger mess since it was already all wet with snow and mud, he left a trail of it across the carpet up to Sunni & Hard Luck. "Bout time you got here, now help the nice lady with her luggage up to her accommodation, and no back talk or you won't get a Tip!" Hard Luck teased him while judgmentally wagging a finger at him. Dently just replied with a rude blast from his exhaust pipes.
Sunni couldn't help chuckling at them again. "You'll be my first Bellhop Dently and I think you'll do a very good job!" Sunni smiled while leaning over and patting him on his camera eye.
Mechanical Appendages extending, he picked up her helmet and took her backpack and placed them on his seat and seat belted them down keeping them secure all while happily wagging his tail fender, while saluting Sunni with his appendage. She clapped while Hard Luck rolled his eyes. "Brown Noser." Another rude exhaust retort was the reply.
Smiling at their antics, Sunni turned to the front desk and spun the registry around to her. "If we're going to spend the night, we should make it official and sign in." Hard Luck politely handed her a pen that was chained to the desk, which promptly crumbled apart in his paw, getting very old and sticky ink all over him. "Yuck!" He grimaced shaking his paw futilely trying to get the goop off. Sunni shook her head while Dently handed her a pink pen with a red heart cap on it from her backpack. "Thank You." She smiled at him.
She blew some of the dust off the book, which went right into Hard Luck's face, causing him to sneeze again. "AHCOO!" Sunni blushed. "Oops, sorry." He just waved a paw while wiping his nose with the other. "Wow, the last anybody stayed here was all the way back in 1980!" She said looking at the last names and dates in the registry. "Nicholson, Duvall, Crothers, Kubrick, and King." She read out, noticing that the last name had been crossed out.
"I wonder why they closed this place?" She wondered out loud. Hard Luck just shrugged, not really concerned about it. "The dump aint exactly easy to find or get to, even without a blizzard." He suggested while stepping out from behind the desk. "Come on, let's check out the rooms and get this night over with." She quickly signed in their names finishing off with little hearts and smiley faces and a Thank You to whoever may see it.
They made their way over to the stairs and elevators. "Too bad there isn't any power or we could ride up in the elevator, I would think it would be much easier for you than the stairs Dently," Sunni said with her natural concern for others. 'Even if there was I sure as cheese wouldn't trust em in this shack, sides he's more versatile than he looks, aint ya buddy." Hard Luck pointed out while winking at his vehicular friend. Dently just chuffed proudly and squirmed around to affirm this statement.
Hard Luck and Sunni started up the stairs, Dently waited a few seconds before jumping up to balance apparently effortlessly on his rear tire, and started hopping up after them although this wasn't exactly quiet when you're big heavy, and made of metal. The Stairs also made loud creaking and cracking sound as he went. Hard Luck took Sunni by the hand and hurried their pace, just in case Dently proved to be Too Heavy.
As the light from Dently's headlight moved up the stairs and away from the lobby, the seemingly all-powerful darkness and silence took hold again like a tightening fist. It was as if the intrusion of the last few minutes and the decades of emptiness had never been disturbed. It seemed it would remain this way until a long disturbed nearly inaudible sigh rolled out followed by a loud snapping sound cracked out as the old leather registry book suddenly snapped shut like a Steel-trap in the blackness.
THUMP, BUMP, SLAM, WHAM, BAM, CRASH! The 4th Floor Stairwell door swung open! Hard Luck and Sunni dashed out of it! "Quick, get out of his way!" He cried out pulling Sunni thru the open doorway with a tug. The Whole Motel was practically shaking as Dently jumped up the stairs!
As Dently did his kangaroo act, the hallway vibrated so violently that all the pictures threatened to fall off the walls and even the carpet was rippling like a pond after a rock had been tossed into it! Hard Luck & Sunni holding onto each other to keep themselves from doing the same thing!
The Motorcycle emerged from the doorway, and he stood still and vertical for a couple of seconds before falling forward like a falling tree, with as just as much subtlety. BOOM! "Oof!" This time Hard Luck did fall on his backside, while Sunni almost did too but her windmill-spinning arms managed to keep herself on her feet.
"Oh, good you're here, I was starting to wonder where you were!" Hare Luck huffed as he shot Dently a grumpy look, which just got another rude blast of a reply from his tailpipes. Sunni could only laugh at their antics as she reached down and helped the Martian get back up.
"We're lucky you didn't bring an Avalanche down on us. "Hard Luck complained as he rubbed his sore backside. "You're going on a diet!" This threat got the expected angry rattling and clanking response. "You two are so funny!" Sunni laughed as she watched their interactions. "Yeah, so funny it hurts!" Hard Luck sighed while giving Dently a criticizing swat on a handlebar.
Dently's headlight did a pretty good job of illuminating the hallway while at the same time causing the shadows and darkness at the far edges of the floor to seem to get deeper and take on a somehow sinister edge to them. A plaque on the wall indicated which direction the Swanky Rooms were located, and they moved that way.
Sunni & Hard Luck started down the hallway, Dently remained behind them for a few seconds lighting their path. He started to roll forward, abruptly stopping. His camera eye extends and spins around looking back the other way. The was nothing there, but He could have sworn his audio sensors had picked up a sound.
Cranking up the sensitivity on his detectors he scanned all around. He wasn't picking up anything but Hard Luck & Sunni down at the other end of the hallway. No, wait, there it was again. It sounded like doors opening and closing slowly and creaking floorboards as if someone was tip-toeing around, but again, he wasn't picking anything up! His radar and sensors told him all the doors were still closed and no life forms were being detected.
Deciding it was just his imagination running wild, Dently started to roll toward his friends. Swoosh, clunk creak. His Camera spun around He scanned again. He heard it for sure that time, but still the same results. Not knowing what to think, but keeping his camera focused on that side of the hallway, he slowly started rolling towards the other side, not daring to fully turn his back on it. Just outside of even his hearing came a thin whispering voice "Why now, why now?"
"Let's try this one first!" Sunni said holding up the keys and stepping up to a set of fancy-looking double doors. Jumbling the keys, she found the correct one, unlocked the doors, and pushed them open with a long slow painful creaking. They walked inside and took in the view.
"Wow, and I thought Plutarkians had horrible taste in décor!" Hard Luck gasped impressed at the level of gaudiness in front of him. "Gosh, you really think so, and what's a Plutarkian?" She asked him, and he thought quickly about how to answer her.
"You're better off not knowing, and your Presidents must be a strange bunch if this is the kinda room you put 'em up in. "Sunni could only stare at him before laughing out loud. "This is the Honeymoon Suite" she told him thru a near giggling fit. "Oh, I guess that would make more sense. That would explain the Lovey Dovey Motif in here."
Everything in the large lavish room was either a deep red or a bright pink, with hearts and arrows on everything or literally made of them! The Big Bed was Heart Shaped! The Big Couch and all the Chairs had heart-shaped pillows and cushions, and so was the Big Fireplace in one corner. Even the wallpaper, pictures, and floor rugs were the same. The little statues of winged babies with heart-shaped bows & arrows kind of freaked him out though. "Humans are WEIRD!"
"It was the Seventies." She replied to him as if that explained it while walking over to a large set of big thick red and pink curtains. Pulling on the cord the curtains swished open in a flurry of dust bunnies, revealing the large pink tinted sliding glass doors leading to the snow-packed balcony, also with a heart-shaped hot tub. Outside the Blizzard still raged.
Lightning Flashed across the night sky, illuminating the room thru the glass doors for a few seconds, tainting everything in a dark crimson light! It cascaded off the snowflakes and drifts outside, turning them from pure white to an eerie blood color! Oddest of all as they waited for the Thunder to hit, but it didn't happen. "Ooh, that's kind of creepy!" Sunni shivered, wrapping her arms around herself while backing away from the glass doors.
"Where is that clunkhead?" Hard Luck grumbled looking at the hallway, wondering where Dently was with their stuff, mainly his heated coat. He took a blanket from the bed and shook it attempting to get as much as nearly 2 decades of grime off it before going over and wrapping it around Sunni's shivering shoulders.
"Thanks, brr is it me or did it suddenly get colder in here?" She asked while pulling the blanket tighter around herself. He just shrugged. "I dunno, maybe, it's hard for me to tell, I got a fur coat on." He joked while holding up his fuzzy arms. "Must be nice!" She joked back, shivering again. "I still can't believe I'm on a Cross Country Trip with an Actual Martian, it's so Trippy!" He nodded his head." Yeah, I know the feeling."
They were both laughing when Dently all but crashed into the room! "Where in Deimos's Shadow have you…" Hard Luck started but was loudly cut off by a series of excited rattling, clanking, and engine noises! It looked like he was on the verge of flying apart! "Whoa, whoa, Calm Down and repeat all that, and try to keep it under Warp 5 Would ya!"
Trying to do just that, Dently got himself under control, and then babbled all that over again, just as fast. "Don't be silly, your mainframe is probably just iced up, you need to defrost yourself!" Sunni just watched as this back-and-forth went on. "What, what is it, what's got him so excited?
Hard Luck just rolled his eyes. "He thinks he heard somebody or something moving around in here with us!" He held a paw up to the side of his head and spun a finger in a circle letting her know what He thought about this—dently started steaming both emotionally and literally.
Sunni's eyes went wide open as she looked around the room, pulling the blanket tighter around herself. "You don't think there could be someone else here besides us, do you?" Hard Luck just smiled at her while waving his paws. "Nah, He said he ran all his scans and didn't pick up nothing, and if that didn't show nothing, then that's all there is. Nothing!"
She looked from the nonchalant Martian to the frustrated Motorcycle. "You said it yourself, there aint been nobody here in years!" He said doing his best to reassure her. Dently rumbled grumpily but otherwise didn't object. "He's just letting his imagination run away with him. I probably need to readjust his emotional settings, gotta screwdriver I could borrow?" He joked while giving her a joking wink.
"Well, yeah but it's still strange, I mean just look at this place, other than needing a good spring cleaning, this place looks totally fine!" She pointed out about the dusty room. "Normally when places like this get closed down, they take all the furniture out and board everything up?!"
"You saw how difficult it was to get here, let alone just find the place, and besides it probably wasn't worth the effort to haul all this junk outta here, and the noises are probably the storm outside and this dump just falling apart, and yeah the parts we've seen don't look too bad but that don't mean the rest of this shack is in the same condition."
"Yeah, I guess you're right, it's just that, I mean…" She said sounding like she wanted to believe his logic but still had doubts as she sat down on the funky bed, slightly shivering. Dently rolled over to her, started purring like an Earth Cat, and revved his engine, producing as much heat as he could to chase away her chills. She smiled gratefully giving him a thankful pat on his's camera eye.
"Now for once, The Scrap Yard Reject here has a good idea!" Hard Luck joked teasingly at Dently. He was lucky the motorcycle's camera eye's laser wasn't working or He might have gotten zapped. Come to think, that's probably why it never gets fixed. Besides, He wasn't going to turn up a chance to tease his metallic friend. Payback for running over his tail!
Putting on what He thought was his most Charming Smile, he casually sauntered towards the bed. Sunni & Dently looked up as he approached, with the bike's engine taking on a 'what are you up to?' rumble. Hard Luck didn't miss this and intentionally laid it on a bit thicker.
"It's been a busy couple of days, and we've done a lot of tough riding, so I don't see why we shouldn't Take Advantage of this LOVELY Room and just sit back and unwind a bit." He made sure to put some extra emphasis on those choice words while staring directly at Dently, giving him a blatantly obvious sleazy wink. If Dently had an actual face, it would be scowling.
"It has been a fun couple of days since we left Grandma & Grandpa's farm in Kansas, we've seen a lot of the spots in between there and Colorado." Sunni replied, seemingly having missed His not-so-hidden context, reminiscing about their trip probably helped. Sunni wanted to introduce her two new friends to as much Fun Earth Stuff as she could!
It turns out, Sunni is a bit of a Hodophile. (A person who likes to travel) She'd taken them to every little historical and entertaining spot in between here and there, and a few more besides. Her backpack quickly filled up with travel guides, tour pamphlets, & a plethora of picture films.
"Maybe I can show You some Fun Mars Stuff too!" Hard Luck replied laying it on extra thick! Turning to plop down next to her on the bed while using a universally known move of the nonchalant extended arm to place on her shoulders, plus the addition of doing the same with his tail. His Plop turned into a Flop at the last second when Sunni stood up walking away from the bed, Hard Luck bounced off the oddly shaped bed and onto the floor! "Oomph!"
"I don't feel like just sitting around, not after riding for two days, not that your seat isn't very comfy Dently." She quickly said to reassure the motorcycle happily wagging his tail fender. It was Hard Luck's turn to scowl at Dently as he sat on the floor rubbing his sore pride! He could practically feel the smug remarks the motorcycle was holding back.
Sunni stood in the center of the room and looked around. "I'd rather move around a bit, maybe explore this place!" The Customary Big Smile popped up on her face again. "Explore, why?" Hard Luck grunted as he pushed himself up off the floor. "It's a Motel, it's just a bunch of rooms with beds in them. They're the same the Galaxy over for the most part!"
"Yeah, you're probably right, but wouldn't it just be more Exciting if there was some kind of Mystery?!" She was really latching on to the idea! "What if We did Find Something out about this place, like in those old TV Mystery Shows or Saturday Morning Cartoons!?" She was excited so much that she shivered excitedly underneath her blanket!
"I'm starting to worry you had the Heat turned up too High in my Helmet!" Hard Luck joked as he shuffled across the thick shag carpeting to the big heart-shaped fireplace. He swung around, put his shoulders up against the fireplace mantle with arms stretched out across the top, and lifted his cyborg leg up to rest against his flesh and fur leg.
"Let's just stay here and try to get things Warmed Up instead?" The Special Smile on his face again, metal foot tapping against the fireplace's hearth. Dently rolled over to Sunni in a protective move, again not liking what the Mouse was doing, even if it was just to tease him. Hard Luck didn't miss this and again chose to lay it on just that little bit more.
"Oh, I'm nice and toasty, this blanket you gave is working just great thanks!" Dently chortled as Sunni seemingly totally missed Hard Luck's little innuendo as he slightly slumped against the fireplace. "Solving a Mystery sounds like a fun way to pass the time until the storm ends!" Her eyes sparking, hands clasped together as she imagined the Adventure!
"Well, yeah sure I Guess that's a Fun Way to kill time if yer're into that sort of thing I suppose." He mumbled petulantly. "This is going to be a Lot of Fun, you're sure you don't want to join in?" She asked again oblivious of his not subtle at all attempts. "Nah, I'll aint in the mood right now, I'll just stay here, I'm sure I can find something to do."
"What about you, Do you want to stay here with him or go with me?" She looked down at Dently, expectantly waiting on his reply. Dently looked from Her to Hard Luck, and back. Clanking and clunking & hopping up and down he revved out a happy "Rumble, Bumble Roo!"
"Yay!" Sunni clapped and hopped along with him. Hard Luck gripped the mantle to keep from falling over as the whole room shook! He also bit his lip to keep himself from saying what was on the tip of his tongue right now! The Newly Founded Detective Duo got ready to start their Adventure!
'Now, let's see, what should we do first?" Sunni pondered the situation, finger tapping her chin. If there will be any clues the Lobby is probably the best place to start, what do you think?!" Dently ran it thru his processor for a few seconds before nodding his camera eye at her in total agreement!
They started for the room door. "You're sure you don't want to join us; this could be fun?" She turned and asked one last time. Doing his best to look casually uninterested & comfortable while leaning on the mantle, he just waved a paw at them. 'Nah, You two run off and have fun. I'll just stay here and do my best to get this place All Nice and Toasty for when You get Bored and Cold."
"Ok, Bye!" Sunni smiled again and waved, seemingly once again missing his not-all-too-subtle jibes and innuendo, his ego taking a hit, he frowned a bit. Dently did not miss it. "Rumble, grumble rattle snap!" Sunni looked at Dently to Hard Luck who glowered at the motorcycle.
"Oh, ha, ha, real funny!" He snapped back. "You know what, you Should go with her, 'cause if Anybody here needs to Find a Few Clues, it's You Buddy Boy!" Hard Luck retorted with a mean-spirited smirk. Somehow Sunni kept herself from bursting into laughter as she watched the two's little rebuttal with each other.
Dently was quiet for a few scant seconds before he fired off a rapid round of rattles, clanks & honks! Hard Luck's jaw nearly hit the floor! "You, yeah, well that is, I mean, it's…" Hard Luck clumsily fumbled trying to get out a reply to that cutting remark, his face going into a deep blush! Sunni didn't know what was said, but his response pretty much let her guess what was!
"Oookay, I think it's time we got started, come on Dently, Bye Hard Luck!" Sunni blurted out while tugging on Dently's handlebar trying to get him through the door before an outright argument could break out! "Blrap!" Dently snorted, scuffing his rear tire on the thick carpet, spurting dust and old carpet chunks up at the Martian.
"Yeah, well go on, go have fun, do your silly mystery bit, see if I care, I'll be here, where it's nice and TOASTY!" He snapped back in petty retaliation as Sunni & Dently left, pulling the double doors closed behind them. Once they were shut, he kicked at the shag carpet with his metal foot, in a display of childish reprisal.
"Go on, go Explore this dump, discovery the answer to the Big Mystery of why this dump closed down, big whip ditty doo!" He mumbled crankily to himself, idly swinging his metal foot back and forth on the carpet, not noticing that it was sparking as it built up a significant static electric charge. "Huh, probably be back here in 5 minutes, complaining about being cold and bored, probably won't find anything anyway."
"Hmph, I should get a good fire going, get it Good and Toasty in here like I said." He sighed leaning back against the mantle, lifting his metal foot up to rest against the back of his other leg, totally failing to notice static sparking from his foot across the metal grating of the fireplace hearth. The sparks played out across the decades of ancient kindling, and wood piled there.
The chimney flue rattled and creaked open, allowing a chill draft to breathe down over the sparks, letting them go from sparks to glowing and growing embers. "Brr, maybe I should build a fire." He shivered as the chill drifted across his tail and backside.
"Heh, that would be sweet though." He smiled slyly, failing to notice the embers igniting the dry kindling, small flames bursting into life and quickly growing on the wood laying in the hearth. "Yeah, get it all TOASTY Like I've been saying, they come crawling back in here, chilled and runny-nosed, all Oh We didn't find Nothing, this place is just a closed up old shack, you were Right All Along Hard Luck."
The Air flowed down through the flue, feeding the hungry little flames, letting them grow and spread, consuming the wood greedily. "Oh, it's so TOASTY and Warm in Here, just like You Promised, we should have Listened to You this Whole Time!" Hard Luck gushed, doing a bad imitation of Sunni. Red, yellow, and orange flames snapped and popped just underneath His tail and bum.
"Get to rub that Lubricated Lunkhead's nonexistent nose in it, let him know he aint as smart as he thinks he is." He shook again, as the fire intensified, heat flowing out past him. "Whew, seems kinda warm in here already, I aint the Big Doofus some beings like to try and falsely make me out to be." He squirmed as the small inferno raged behind his hindquarters.
"I can be just as big a Hotshot in the smarts department like Davidson, & Throttle, heck I can be just as big a Hot Shot in a Fight like Modo, and uh Willy, well, maybe not Modo." He mumbled peevishly while panting slightly. "Yeah, I'm Just as HOT as Them! JUST AS HOT!" He nearly shouted stoking his wounded pride up.
"Guuurrghhh Hot, HOT, HOT!" He gasped, eyes nearly popping out of his skull as he hopped away from the fireplace! "Oh, HOT, So HOT, TOO HOT!" Awkwardly dancing around the room, with smoke puffing off his tail and rump as he frantically swatted at the smoke and flames flickering across the tip of his tail, and the seat of his pants!
Desperately looking for any way to extinguish himself, he dropped and dragged his burning rear across the dry shag carpet, completely failing to achieve this goal! "SNOW, SNOW I NEED SNOW OH I NEED SNOW!" He bounced up and scrambled for the balcony doors, fumbling with the lock for a couple of seconds that felt a whole heck of a long longer than it did!
The Glass doors swooshed open, and he jumped thru, dropping his tail and butt into the deep snow piled up there. SSSSSHHH! Steam billowed up from where he sat as the fires went out. "AAAH, Cold, Cold, Cold, Oh the Cold is Good! I Love SNOW, SNOW is Great, Oh So Nice and Cold!"
Wiggling his roasted rear section in the snow as the blizzard blew around him and the motel, the old flue in the chimney squeaked and groaned as it slowly pulled it self-closed. The fire sputtered and went out as the draft from above died out, sounding eerily like a laughing whisper coming from someplace far away.
To Be Continued…