A/N: Oops! Missed one. There we go.

Double update day, once again! This, and a Genshin story.

This "Shard" bin is saving my life; I've got so many ideas buzzing around and it really helps to put them out here.

Once more, we're sticking with the "Embers" rule for this story, and others. If folks don't like this, it won't be continued. Meaning that if the story itself ain't popular? POOF! Gone. Completely. I'm working two jobs -might need a third soon!- so I barely have time to write; as such, I cannot afford to write something folks don't enjoy. So by all means, speak up! Your voice matters! Make yourself heard! As ever, reviews are the fuel that sustain me. Without them I cannot write a single word. Simple as that. Working nearly all hours of the day keep me absurdly busy, and I can't bring myself to write something folks don't like.

As ever, I own no references, quotes, memes or themes. Not a wit or a one.

I'm just a humble author trying to make his way in this wild world, one word at a time.

So here we have a little something that never quite made it past the cutting floor. Hope you enjoy it.

This? Right here? This as a Not Going Home iteration of Elden Ring that never came to be.

As ever in the words of Kaif...

...SPOILERS!

"No, no, no. You're not fighting me.

You're fighting him.

Have fun~!

~?

Ax Meets Hammer

A foolish Tarnished stood before the Elden Ring.

At least, Radagon assumed it was a Tarnished standing there.

Who else would dare burn the Erdtree? Such sacrilege could not be tolerated.

Granted, he couldn't exactly see who had committed said sacrilege at the moment, what with his face in the roots of the Erdtree and whatnot, but that would change now that the Greater Will had released him. "Marika" was little more than a shadow of her former self and as such, he was free to take over. With each passing moment his strength returned, and now her hammer was well within his grasp. He would cast them out, they who dared to burn the Erdtree. On his name as Radagon, of the Golden Order-

"Yeaaaah, let me stop you there."

He tore the hammer from the altar and beheld a blond boy sitting cross-legged across from him.

Clad in a simple robe, one might forgive him for thinking the man harmless. He was not. The horns on his head marked him as surely as those strange whiskered cheeks. Bright blue eyes beamed back at him, crinkling now in a roguish grin. No matter. He would crush him as he had all others-

"Ain't me you're fighting, bub. I brought a friend!"

He stabbed a thumb behind him, aside, making way for a rather tall fellow and...oh. Ohhh dear.

"Y'see, I found him waiting outside. The blond stood, smirking like the cat that caught the canary and slaughtered its entire race. "I believe you know each other!"

...they did. Godfrey, First Elden Lord, heft his ax with a grim grin of his own. "Indeed we do."

T'was a terrifying smile indeed. Radagon quailed in the face of it.

"Marika, a moment?'

'Nay.' Her could feel his other half grin as she hid within him. 'Thou shall reap what thou hast sown.'

"Switch with me." it was a plea.

"Oh? his other half sounded quite smug. 'How quickly the leal hound of the golden order changes his tune.'

"Please? Switch! Now!"

"Right then, that's my part done." The blond braggart clapped his hands and sauntered past. "I'll just leave you two to it, eh? Have fuuuun~! I'll just be over here meddling with the tree. Don't mind me."

Godfrey loomed large over Radagon.

...stand aside. I would have a word with mine wife."

Marika cackled in the back of Radagon's head and said not a word.

Serosh snarled atop Godfrey's back, fangs bared in a rictus of a grin.

Radagon made one last futile attempt. "I am your wife?"

The Tarnished ceased to smile. "I think not."

His ax blurred.

Radagon did not fly. He sailed clean out the Erdtree. Godfrey leaped after him.

The beating that followed was pure pain, simple and clean.

So began a new Age.

A/N: Bit of a sillier one fragment here.

I believe it was stated somewhere that Godfrey could've beaten Radagon/Elden Beast down if we hadn't gotten in his way.

And there we have it. Another Request fulfilled.

Do you want this to be a story? Yes? No? Maybe so? Make yourselves heard! Once more, we're sticking with the "Embers" rule for this particular story, and others.

If folks don't like this, it won't be continued. Meaning that if the story itself ain't popular? POOF! Gone. Completely. I'm working two jobs -might need a third soon!- so I barely have time to write; as such, I cannot afford to write something folks don't enjoy. So by all means, speak up! Your voice matters! Make yourself heard! As ever, reviews are the fuel that sustain me. Without them I cannot write a single word. Simple as that. Working nearly all hours of the day keep me absurdly busy, and I can't bring myself to write something folks don't like.

Aaaand there we go. As ever, reviews keep me alive. Without them, I cannot write. So...in the Immortal Words of Atlas...

...Review...Would You Kindly? And have some previews -potential blot bin things- that I'm working on.

The first one...is honestly tempting. Alas, I don't have a title for it, and that's stopped me.

*cries*

(Previews)

"Wait, wait, wait! STOP!" He flailed his arm, forcing Malenia to abandon her charge. "You said you're waiting for your brother...?

Her feet bit down against the flowers, but she didn't lower her guard. Not for a moment. "...yes?"

"So am I! Well, Sasuke's not really my brother, and he was trying to kill me the last time we met, but still! I'm sure he's in this world somewhere after that explosion blew us apart...

Malenia couldn't truly see him, not really, with her eyes rotted. She settled for a flat stare instead. "...You cannot be serious."

"Wanna team up?" Naruto's silhouette beamed back at her, arm still extended. "C'mon, we can be partners!"

His words echoed through the Haligtree, chased by the wind. "You...are a very strange man."

"Lady, you don't know the half of it~!"

R&R~!