A/N: So! We were having some site problems for a while there, but everything seems to be back in order for now.
What we have here was one of the bits for the Tenth upcoming chapter of "A Most Unlikely Berserker" but it never quite shaped up the way I wanted it to. After a number of false starts I finally found my rhythm and got to work. But this bit was just staring at me with those blasted puppy-dog eyes, BEGGING to be used. I don't like writing words only to throw them away, you know?
So here we go.
I'm also doing a bit better nowadays.
I went full Paul Bunyan on a couple of trees in my backyard.
Right, so ya'll are getting a surprise soon.
I won't say what, because that'd ruin it.
So here, have a fragment of sorts!
REVIEW FOR IT FEEDS MY ENGINE OF CREATION!
We're following the two day rule here, if folks don't like this, it'll be gone by then. Don't believe me? It already happened to Launcher and Gatekeeper...
"Swing and a miss!"
"No fair! You cheated! You...cheaty cheater!
...that's not even a word, Mordred. You know that, right?
No! You do not get to ruin this, zombie! LEMME HAVE THIS DAMNIT!"
~?
I Want to Play a Game
"Base...ball?"
Naruto planted a hand over his mouth to stifled a small smile. Even then a small snicker sailed out, despite his best efforts to restrain himself. Mordred's head tilt was adorable enough in her casual clothes, but when his fellow blonde's confusion was mirrored by that of Jack and Atalanta, it took nearly all he had just to keep his thoughts from dissolving into full-throated laughter. He must've failed too; because Archer absolutely glared bloody red daggers at him.
...you're mocking us, aren't you?" the huntress scowled.
"Noooooo no, no, no," Berserker shook his head. "Not at all. This is an actual sport."
No one answered, the afternoon sun silently beating down on their backs. Somewhere in the distance, a cricket chirped.
"Seriously!" he guffawed, wiping a mirthful tear from the corner of his eye. "I'm not pulling your legs. I just want to play a game, you know?"
"Sounds spooky when you put it that way." Mordred stuck out her tongue. "Are you sure this isn't a trick or something?" a hand planted itself on her hip. "Seriously?"
"Bite me, Saber."
Sure enough, said Saber stumbled into a sputtering squawk as her her cheeks burned crimson.
"Now, then!" Naruto declared, spinning away from his fellow Servant, "The rules are simple.
He outlined them in simple, concise terms. Remarkably, they listened.
He'd etched a crude diamond of sorts into a field some miles outside of Trifas, staffed and stocked with the few clones he could safely create outside of combat. Then he'd dragged his allies out here. As to the gloves, ball and bats...well. Surely no one would miss such things. He'd be returning them come morning. And if someone wanted to kick up a fuss in the meantime they could bite him, too. It wouldn't end well for them. And if some squirrely Servant of Black tried to interrupt their game they'd be in for a rude surprise at that.
What?
They weren't breaking any rules.
Their Masters had told them to take a day off.
They were taking a day off. Low power only, no Noble Phantasms.
If said day happened to consist of a super-powered game of baseball...who would know? He smiled at the thought. "Any questions?"
Three hands shot up immediately.
Naruto facepalmed.
"Seriously? Am I the only one even vaguely familiar with this sport?"
"Then teach us," Atalanta shot back. "The only way to learn is through experience."
"So who goes with who?" Mordred piped up, a snarky grin overtaking her features. "I call dibs on the zombie!
"Yeah, what are the teams?" Jack chorused, unwilling to be left out. Quick as a flash she darted forward and grabbed his arm. "We want to be with papa!"
"Alright, then." he shuffled a curious Jack towards the pitchers mound and placed a bat in her little hands. "All you have to do is swing at the ball when one of us throws it. Think of it like throwing a knife...
Mordred and Atalanta visibly twitched in the same moment. Naruto saw them out of the corner of his eye; a flicker of movement dancing in his peripherals. Little more than a slight tensing of their shoulders, but he recognized it all the same. Uh-oh. This had the potential to get bloody. Of course, they couldn't all be on the same team. Even with a small army of clones, that simply wasn't fair. Of course he couldn't rightly leave one of them by themselves and three against one was far from balanced, especially with the clones to back them up.
He was still pondering that dilemma when Fate decided to throw him a bone.
"Hey, there!" a new voice called. "What're you doing way out here?"
Now, Naruto certainly didn't recognize the armored young man materializing beside them in a shower of golden dust; he was as much a stranger to him as many members of the Black Faction. Thankfully, he didn't have to probe his identity. Atalanta rounded on the newcomers immediately, ears twitching. She didn't look...happy, per se, but she at least appeared to recognize one of them.
"Achilles?"
"Hey, sis!" the green-haired Rider snapped of a snarky salute. "Long time no see! You playing a game or something?"
Mordred swore softly.
"Oh for the love of...him too?!"
A muscle jumped in the blond's jaw.
"Anyone else hiding out there?" Naruto called out into the field with fraying patience. "Yes? No? Maybe so?"
"How kind of you to ask!" Shakespeare chimed, arriving in a swirl of mana. "Here I am!"
Semiramis was only a heartbeat behind him. "You rang?"
Naruto laughed incredulously.
"I was joking!"
Someone tapped him on the shoulder, and, exasperated, he whirled to find Karna's serene gaze meeting his baffled one. For a terrifying moment he wondered if Lancer had come to start their fight again, but no, that pale visage reflected none of the inner turmoil he was doubtlessly experiencing. In the end, he only sketched a humble bow.
...greetings.
"OHFORTHELOVEOFME!"
Mordred nearly yelped as a small red and white ball cannoned towards her. "What was that for?!"
"For bringing this upon me!" Naruto shot back. "Now line up, you lot! Its time to play!"
By the end of it all, the entire Red Faction had all but joined in the fray.
Ironically, more than a few Servants of Black entered as well.
But that's a story for another time now, isn't it?
A/N: We're following the two day rule here, if folks don't like this, it'll be gone by then.
There. Pure and sweet, with none of the sad bits from before.
So In the Immortal Words of Atlas...
...Review, Would Ya Kindly?
And enjoy the previews.
(Previews!)
Angra Mainyu cackled happily.
"What, are we forming an Avengers club or something?"
Naruto and Jeanne exchanged a long, exasperated look between them.
"What? Why're ya looking at me like that? I was joking! No! Stay back! Stay-YAAARGH?!"
Quite sometime later, Heracles had to extricate the Weakest-Servant-Ever from what remained of a wall.
R&R~!