Clarke sat up, startled from sleep by someone sitting on the bed. It took her several seconds to wake fully. Her first thought was Lexa, and when she realized who it was, Clarke was glad she hadn't said anything. "Heda, why are you here?"
"I brought fresh clothes and food." Ontari stroked Clarke's hair.
"Mochof."
"The ceremony begins at dawn, Klark. The bathhouse is ready."
"Mochof," Clarke repeated, a little freaked out by Ontari's attention and they way she stroked her hair, as Lexa had.
Klark. Meizen.
"Skaikru will be here. The Trikru with them, as well. He is free to do as he wishes."
Clarke nodded. She wasn't completely awake and wondered if this was some weird dream, to be engulfed in Lexa's scent and feel her touch, but hear her only in her head.
Ontari stood up. "Come, Wanheda. Your food grows cold."
Clarke got out of bed. She stretched and rubbed her eyes before moving to the table. She didn't want to eat, but knew Ontari would insist, so she mechanically cleared the plate and emptied the mug. Finished, she stood up and looked for her clothes.
"Go to the bathhouse, Wanheda. I will bring them to you."
Clarke nodded, still not certain that she wasn't dreaming. The cool, fresh air outside the tent woke her completely, and she walked to the bathhouse, a guard trailing her.
The hot water felt good. It removed what remained of Clarke's warpaint and the blood in the crevices of her hands. She took out her braids and washed her hair. Her clothes waited on the bench beside the towels, and Clarke didn't know when Ontari brought them in. Not that it mattered. They were clean, and her boots were cleaner than they had been.
Clarke dressed. This outfit was black leather, too, and she wondered whether that was her new theme. She ran her fingers through her hair until it was untangled, but left it down. The guard waited outside the bathhouse, and followed her toward the gathering crowd. He remained near her, but let her go through them.
When Ontari saw her, she waved Clarke forward. Ste yuj, Klark. Clarke joined her at the pyre. There was only one torch, in the hand of one of Ontari's guards. Clarke looked around. She recognized nearly everyone in the crowd. Lincoln stood with Octavia and Indra. Her mother and Marcus were surrounded by the few remaining members of the 100. The rest were Lexa's warriors and the survivors of the missile attack on TonDC. At the edges were other Trikru warriors.
Slowly, the darkness lifted, but they all stood still until the first bird broke the silence. Ontari reached and the torch was placed in her hand. "Lexa kom Trikru, yu gonplei ste odon," she pronounced, and put the torch in the pyre.
Clarke stared at the rising flames. It took all of her strength to stay upright and not cry. To her right, she heard Skaikru. "In peace may you leave the shore. In love may you find the next. Safe passage on your travels until our final journey on the ground. May we meet again."
We will meet again, Klark.
Ontari stood beside her until the pyre was fully engulfed. Clarke chewed the inside of her lower lip bloody while she watched the fire burn. She was the last one there, watching embers.
Ontari approached silently. Clarke didn't know she was there until she scooped ash into a metal container. She stood and sealed it, handed it to Clarke. "Your duty awaits, Wanheda."
Clarke looked at the container. It was still warm, approximately body temperature, and she shivered. "Sha, Heda," she answered quietly, and walked away.
Her guard waited outside TonDC's gate. Clarke put Lexa's ashes into her saddlebag, mounted her horse, and rode for Polis. Ontari's order was clear, and Clarke had no time to speak with her friends, or tell Murphy he would stay.
She rode at a steady pace, but they stopped to rest each night. Clarke tended her horse and put up her tent while her guard gathered wood and started a fire. He had food in his saddlebags so they didn't need to hunt. They split the watch. Clarke wasn't sleeping anyway.
When they arrived at Polis, she left her horse in the stable, took her saddlebags, and walked to Roan's suite. It looked empty, but Clarke knew there were servants around. She dropped her saddlebag in her room and went to the bath.
This time, Clarke soaked. She was sore, tired, and heartsick. Little more than a week had passed and Clarke had been on the move the whole time. It was starting to sink in that she would not see Lexa again. Meet again, Lexa insisted. Clarke went under the water and stayed as long as she could. When she came up, she rested her neck on the edge and soaked, letting the water ease her soreness.
She didn't know how long she was in there, but fell asleep. She woke waterlogged with a sore neck and slowly got out of the tub. Clarke dried herself slowly, and wrapped a towel around her body and another around her hair so she could walk to her room to dress.
She put on sleeping clothes, dragged the pile of bedding so it filled half the bed, laid down facing it, and went back to sleep.
100 – 100 – 100
Roan woke her in the morning. He knew she hadn't slept well, heard the whimpers and moans that escaped during Clarke's dreams, but they had things to do, and being busy would keep Clarke from dwelling on her losses.
She dressed in the black outfit she found in the wardrobe. She was getting tired of the color, but since she wasn't offered a choice, took what was there. Breakfast waited on the table. There was a pile of papers beside Clarke's place. "What are these?"
"Reports. You must always know what is going on so you can guard the interests of those you seek to protect."
"Azgeda," Clarke said flatly.
"Trikru and Skaikru as well. Ontari has not yet decided whether to disband them."
"She told me that there aren't enough of us left to constitute a kru."
"Perhaps. Eat. Read the reports," he told her, and took his own instruction.
Clarke opened the first paper on the pile and read it while she picked at her plate. It was a report of troop movements and the supplies required for troops to return home from Arkadia.
She continued to read through the papers. Most were straightforward reports about inconsequential matters in other lands. One caught her attention. She read it twice and passed it to Roan. "Does this say what I think it does?"
He glanced at it. "What do you think it says."
"The Boat people are considering withdrawing from the coalition because they do not trust an Azgeda heda. They think Ontari will favor Azgeda over the needs of all."
"That is what it says, Clarke. What are you going to do about it?"
She sighed. "Talk to the Floukru ambassador."
"Exactly. I knew you were the right person for this job. I will return to Azgeda shortly after Ontari arrives in Polis. No more than two days. Messengers are always available to you. If there is an urgent message, the round trip is three days. Otherwise, it is three days in each direction. You will receive the same reports I receive. Ontari will receive them as well. She is not trained in statecraft as the other Natblida are, and she will rely on you."
"I am the wrong person for that job."
"You will be fine. Marcus kom Skaikru will be here to assist."
"What do you want from this, Roan?"
"I told you, Clarke, I want peace. I want my people to thrive. I want all the clans to prosper. Hungry people have nothing to lose. People need hope that things will improve. We can do that. It is what Lexa was trying to do. Her error was trying to force change too quickly. Blood must have blood until it doesn't. I know she said she would give Skaikru a chance, but Ontari could not wait that long. The other clans see that she is strong. She will not allow rebellion."
"Rebellion."
"What would you call it? A few of your people started another war because they refused to live by the rules they said they would. They killed sleeping soldiers even though they knew they were there to protect them. They said that their rules are more important than the rules that kept us alive through the worst times imaginable."
"Rebellion," Clarke sighed in agreement.
"Ontari will keep bloodshed to a minimum. That is the duty I gave her. She needs help to understand when to stand tall and when to bend. You will help her. Marcus will help you, and perhaps her directly. We will change history, Clarke." He smiled at her, a real smile. "We will build the world you want, the world Lexa wanted. It will not be easy, but no great undertaking is. Finish your breakfast and your reports. Then we will decide what to do today."
Meizen = beautiful
Yu gonplei ste odon = Your fight is over.