She waited until the traffic died down, until everyone had a chair and food and something to drink. She was still sipping the moonshine Roan provided, grateful for its cushion against the devastation she was about to unleash. Murphy and Roan were her drinking partners, and Abby watched, disapproving, while Clarke drank. Marcus looked curious as he watched Ontari and Clarke, and wondered whether he what he saw was real.
She put down the mug and ate a little at Ontari's quiet urging, and refilled the mug before she started talking.
"I don't know what Pike did, but some Trikru brought Octavia to Polis on Lexa's Ascension Day. She was their prisoner, and they threw her on the floor. Senet said the Fleimkepa told him Heda would hear them. Senet said Skaikru destroyed his village, that it was unprotected because the army that was massacred left them without anyone to protect them.
"Lexa said there would be no revenge, no more jus drein jus daun. Instead, she ordered the armies of the 12 clans to put a five mile circle around Arkadia to give Skaikru time to peacefully remove Pike from power. Senet objected and Titus killed him for threatening Lexa. Any Skaikru who tried to cross the blockade or was on the other side of it by dawn the next day would be subject to a kill order.
"I brought Octavia to my room to clean her up and find out what happened, but she was so angry. She thought I would choose Lexa over Skaikru, and told me she would be leaving in an hour and I should go with her. If I didn't, I wasn't the person she thought I was." Clarke looked at the table, remembering how Octavia looked at her with barely suppressed fury, and drank again. She wondered for a moment why Lexa had nothing to say.
"I went to say goodbye to Lexa," she continued. Not goodbye, Klark. Death is not the end. "She asked me to stay. I wanted to stay, but we both knew I couldn't. So I went back to my room to get my pack. Murphy was tied up. He looked like shit. I was taking the gag out of his mouth when Titus told me not to. He had a gun. Told me he was going to kill me because Lexa wouldn't do her duty as long as I was alive."
Beside her, Ontari tensed. Clarke put a hand on her thigh. "Don't do anything until I'm finished, please. Please," she repeated.
She waited and tried not to see the others watching them. Clarke knew their position was intimate and suggested things that hadn't happened, that might never happen. "Beja, Ontari."
Ontari finally nodded, and put her hand on top of Clarke's. Clarke was grateful for her support. It meant different things to them, but Clarke accepted her comfort. She emptied her mug and refilled it, and Murphy's and Roan's when they held them out.
"I don't know where the guards were. I guess Titus sent them away. I wish I noticed they were gone before I opened the door." Clarke sighed. "He was going to blame Murphy. 'Skaikru weapon, Skaikru thief.' He started shooting at me. He's a lousy shot, that's why Murphy and I are here, and Lexa's not. I threw a stool at him and he fired the gun while he fell. Lexa opened the door, and the bullet hit her in the middle of her torso." Clarke lowered her head again, unable to stop her tears. Osir hod yu in, Klark. We love you. We will protect you. You will be safe. We will be together.
Murphy picked up the story. "Clarke tried to save her, but there was no way." He pointed at his chest, showing where the bullet entered Lexa's body. "She bled to death, but she had time to talk to Titus and Clarke before she died. I don't what she said to Reverend Crazy, no offense," he told Ontari. "But as soon as she was dead, he moved Clarke away and turned Lexa onto her stomach."
"Murphy, Ontari doesn't know about the City of Light."
He sighed, preparing to tell that story again, but Roan interrupted. "I told Ontari that, but she does not know what Murphy found while Titus had him."
Murphy sighed again and drank more alcohol. Like Clarke, he was grateful for its cushion against this shitty reality. "When the guards picked me up, they found something on me, and next thing I know, they're talking about the commander's sacred symbol and I'm tied to a chair getting my ass whipped and beat. He left me alone for a long time, and I got loose. I couldn't get out of there, but I had time to take a look around. There's an escape pod down there, and drawings on the wall. Reverend Crazy said one of them showed the first Natblida."
Clarke stepped in to translate. "An escape pod is a small vessel for one or two people to come to Earth from the sky," she told Ontari. "Natblida are Nightbloods. Heda is chosen from a pool of people with black blood," she explained to her mother.
"That's not possible," Abby said.
Ontari removed her arm from Clarke's should and pulled Clarke's dagger from its sheath. "Your hand, Klark," Ontari asked. "I will not waste the blood."
Clarke nodded and held out her hand.
"What are you doing?" Abby asked while Ontari sliced Clarke's palm, then her own.
She showed Abby her hand, the black blood welling from the cut. As she had on her Ascension Day, Ontari squeezed blood from her hand into Clarke's. She pressed their palms together and returned Clarke's dagger to its sheath. Abby stared, and her brain started searching for answers. "How many people have this?"
"I don't know, but when they are identified and reach eight summers, they are to come to Polis for training. Nia did not permit many Natblida to leave Azgeda. Many were killed for reasons known only to her," Ontari said.
"I'm sorry," Clarke murmured to her. Don't stop now, Klark. Tell them everything. We will keep all of you safe.
"It is not your fault. You have nothing to be sorry about."
Love you. Love your heart. Love your strength. Love your courage. Love your compassion. Clarke put her head on Ontari's shoulder for a few seconds, and Ontari put her head on Clarke's until Clarke sat up again. Before she returned to the story, she emptied the mug again, and refilled it.
"He moved Lexa's hair out of the way, and on the back of her neck there was a tattoo of the infinity symbol and a vertical scar. He cut along that scar and pulled something out. It was a chip, but it had a huge web of tiny filaments that retracted into it. He waited for them to retract, then put it in a box like this one, except it had a skull on it." Clarke tapped one of the tins on the table. "He took her away and locked Murphy and I in there, and a little while later, guards took us down to the basement. They put us in cages and left us in the dark. Roan came and got us out. In return, I agreed to be his ambassador."
"That is why he fears you," Ontari murmured.
"There's more." Clarke drank again. There wasn't enough distance between her feelings and all she still had to say and do. She topped off her mug and Murphy's and Roan's.
"Clarke, you've had enough," Abby said.
"I don't think there's on the entire planet," Clarke answered, and Roan and Murphy raised their mugs in agreement. Marcus reached for a mug and Clarke put moonshine in it. Do not run, Klark. You are brave. You can do this. We love you. When the talking is finished, we will stay with you. Sorry, so sorry for your pain.
"Titus was really pissed off at the end of the Conclave. Ontari defeated the Natblida, but none of them died. Even Aden surrendered." She turned toward Ontari and tilted her head. "What did you say to him?"
"That I would keep you and your people safe, as Heda Leksa made him promise."
"How did you know about that?"
"Leksa told me," Roan answered. "Before you and she left for TonDC and I left for Azgeda. We spent an afternoon talking. She told me many things I did not know, things my mother kept from me or lied about."
"Azplana rarely told the entire truth," Ontari said.
Clarke squeezed her hand. She was surprised that their hands were still together. She caught a glimpse of Ontari's past and squeezed again.
Roan gave Clarke a brief break. "We went down to watch Ontari receive her tattoos. When they were complete, Titus put his back to us and did something."
"I need to show them," Clarke whispered to Ontari.
Ontari shrugged her jacket off and pulled her hair up. Roan and Murphy saw it first, and Clarke skated a fingertip down the scar. "Show the others."
Ontari turned in her seat so Marcus and Abby saw the tattoo and the scar. "Done?" she asked Clarke.
"Sha."
Ontari returned to her original position in her chair, her arm around Clarke's shoulder, holding Clarke's hand, keeping their palms together although the bleeding was long finished, the injuries healed except for faint scars.
"He put the chip he took out of Lexa into Ontari. That's how the commander spirit gets transferred. It's not reincarnation. It's an A.I. It learns. It teaches the next commander. It's how the previous commanders speak to the current one, usually through dreams. Lexa speaks to Ontari, and somehow I hear her. It's stronger when she's near me.
"I do not like to be away from Klark," Ontari said. "I do not understand, but Heda Leksa says to trust Klark, so I do."