Max woke up to the sound of a shower turning on and a pounding in her head. She groaned as she blinked her eyes open, taking in the drab brown walls of the motel room. Her gaze quickly went to the other side of the bed, where the mustard yellow comforter was pulled back to reveal a faint indent in the sheets. She reached her hand out and felt the slight warmth Mike's body had left behind as the memories of the night before flooded back to her.
She rolled over and stared at the popcorn ceiling and the slowly rotating blades of the wooden fan, thinking about how completely fucked she was. She couldn't deny it to herself any longer. She was really into Mike Wheeler. And after last night she found herself with no idea whether he felt the same way, her mind still reeling from the mixed signals he'd given out.
Last night when the drugs were peaking and the lights were flashing in time with the music and she could feel her heartbeat in her fingertips she'd wanted nothing more than to run her fingers through his hair and find out if his lips were as soft as they looked. She'd wanted to do a hell of a lot more than that if she was being honest with herself. She'd felt… free—untethered by the heavy iron chains that kept her bound to her restrictive life with a wall around her heart, and she'd so badly wanted Mike to grab her hand and hurtle through the clouds with her.
Max consciously unclenched her teeth, reaching up and massaging the tension out of the muscles on either side of her jaw. Could she even trust any of the signals she'd thought she'd seen, or was it just the Ecstasy warping her perception and fueling his heated glances and lingering touches?
On the other hand, he'd started acting a little weird long before they'd taken a trip down the rabbit hole, starting with the drive there when he'd been glancing at her repeatedly and acting unusually tense and distracted. She physically cringed when she remembered how eagerly she'd agreed to share a bed with him when they got here. Her feelings for him were probably embarrassingly obvious and had freaked him out.
But then when she'd emerged from the bathroom after spending an hour painstakingly curling her hair and applying makeup for the first time ever, she could have sworn she'd seen a look of desire in his eyes when his gaze raked over her. God, she'd felt like she'd been set on fire from the way his eyes had lingered on her. Things only got more confusing from there; she rubbed circles into her throbbing temples as she thought back to the conversation she'd had with Kate in the bathroom at the club.
"So how long have you had a crush on him?" Kate asked, catching Max's eye as they washed their hands in the narrow, dark restroom. Max's eyes widened and she felt herself blushing profusely. Was she really that obvious?
Kate laughed as she turned off the tap and yanked a thin sheet of brown paper towel out of the sticker-covered dispenser, offering one to Max once she'd dried off her own hands. "Don't worry, you're not that transparent, I'm just very good at reading people." Max swallowed hard as she grabbed the paper towel from her. "I want to be a psychologist, eventually," Kate added. Max strangely felt like she could be honest with this girl she'd just met half an hour ago, so that was probably a good career choice for her.
"It's only been a couple weeks," Max finally confessed, balling up the paper towel and throwing it in the trash can under the sink before looking back up at her reflection, smoothing down her voluminous hair. "We used to kind of hate each other, but now I think we're basically best friends?" She sighed and let herself meet Kate's understanding gaze in the mirror. "It's complicated. For a lot of reasons." Kate gave her a sympathetic smile.
"Well for what it's worth, from what I've seen I think he feels the same way."
Max snorted as she looked away, adjusting her knotted-up t-shirt in the mirror and tugging up her high-waisted shorts, not used to showing so much skin. "I dunno, I've been sending all these signals but nothing's happened yet…" Kate laughed as she pulled a tube of lip gloss out of her pocket and carefully reapplied it, smacking her shiny lips together when she was finished.
"Don't worry, if there's one thing I've learned in college it's that boys are fucking dumb. You may think you're being obvious and they won't have a clue in the fucking world," she said, tucking the tube back into her pocket. "He hasn't taken his eyes off of you since you walked in the door. But I can tell he's protective of you and he probably respects you too much to make a move."
Max rolled her eyes. " So what you're saying is I have to be the one to make the first move?"
Kate nodded and gave her that pitying look again. "I'm afraid so, pumpkin." Max looked up at the ceiling and gave a sigh of resignation.
"What if he doesn't feel the same way?" she asked, her voice suddenly feeling weak and quiet.
"But at least you'll know, dude," Kate said reassuringly. "And it won't kill you. You're both what, seventeen? Sixteen?"
Max looked over at her sharply. "Is it that obvious we're underage?"
"Nah, you're good," Kate smiled as she shook her head. "I have four younger siblings so I'm pretty good at guessing ages. My point is, you're both young, this is the time to make mistakes and dive in headfirst, and if everything gets fucked up then guess what? You can go your separate ways after high school and start all over again." Max nodded as she absorbed the advice, slowly coming around to the idea of making a move on Mike.
"Look, if nothing else you're both probably gonna feel a little… romantic once the X kicks in," Kate smiled wryly. "Maybe something will naturally happen from there."
"So did you make the first move with Cheese?" Max asked. Kate looked over at her in shock before bursting into laughter.
"Oh god," she breathed as she wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. "I am not with Cheese."
Max's eyes widened in surprise. "Oh I'm sorry, I just thought Scooter and Lisa, you and Cheese…"
Kate chuckled as she looped her arm through Max's elbow and tugged her towards the door. "Ha. He fuckin' wishes."
Max groaned audibly as she lifted herself into a seated position, adjusting the thin, lumpy pillow behind her and leaning against the headboard. She felt empty and emotionally depleted, similar to a bad depressive episode but with a more fleeting, artificial quality, and she realized it was probably from the aftereffects of the X.
She paused and made sure the shower was still running before leaning over the edge of the bed and hauling her duffel bag up, pulling out a makeup wipe and rubbing it vigorously over her face, smearing away the black eyeshadow and mascara and remnants of red lipstick before quickly pulling off her sleepshirt and throwing on her grey Oakland A's hoodie and a new pair of cut off denim shorts. Then she sat cross-legged on the bed as she methodically began working the tangles out of her hair with a brush and let her mind wander again.
Last night in Scooter's pantry she'd really thought Mike was about to kiss her before they were rudely interrupted by the police, but then later when they'd gotten back to the hotel room he'd acted strictly platonic, even after she'd purposely left the bathroom door open a crack while she was changing, in a pathetic Hail Mary. It had admittedly been a little wild of her but the Ecstasy had still been coursing through her system and she so badly wanted him to just make a move and she'd thought "What would Rachel do?"
But when she came back out, eager to find out what sharing a bed with Mike would bring, certain they'd unable to resist the magnetic pull that had been between them all night, he'd already been asleep, facing the wall with the covers pulled up around his neck. It completely made her second guess the almost-kiss from earlier, convincing herself that it had just been the drugs making him horny for whoever was in front of him.
Maybe it was for the best that nothing happened, or she'd forever be questioning whether it had been genuine attraction or not.
Max was so lost in thought she hadn't even heard the shower turn off, and she was snapped back to the present at the sound of the bathroom lock turning. The door creaked open and Mike emerged, dressed in a plain white t-shirt and light-wash jeans, his wet hair curling around his ears as steam billowed out behind him. She clenched her jaw, forcing her face to maintain a neutral expression while she screamed internally at the sight of him. How the fuck is he that cute? It's really, really not fair.
Mike seemed to pause when his gaze landed on her, running a hand through his damp hair and taking a deep breath before speaking. "Hey."
"Hey," she nodded, hoping she seemed casual even though her heart was suddenly pounding in her chest. Was he going to say anything about their moment last night?
"Wanna grab breakfast before we hit the road?" he asked, looking away from her as he grabbed his bag from the floor and stuffed last night's clothes inside.
Max felt her stomach drop in disappointment. I guess it was all in my head, she thought to herself bitterly as she raked her fingers through her hair, making sure she'd gotten all the knots out before tossing the brush aside with more force than necessary, watching it bounce off the mattress and onto the carpeted floor.
Now they were in a diner across the street from the motel, sitting in silence as groups of hungover college students chattered around them over the cacophony of clinking cutlery and 50s music playing from the jukebox while they waited for their food to arrive.
Things had felt a little off between them, both of them making nothing more than stilted small talk the whole morning, which Max hoped was mostly due to fatigue and the drug-induced mood drop and not her pathetic advances from last night making him uncomfortable. The weather mirrored the mood—grey clouds blocking out the sun as it continued to drizzle, the cool air sending a chill through the restaurant every time the door swung open.
The red vinyl booth they sat in was cramped, and they kept bumping knees and shins and mumbling apologies as Mike attempted to arrange his long legs into a comfortable position. He let out a frustrated huff as he uncrossed them, banged his knee on the underside of the table and seemed to give up, spreading his legs so his knees were on either side of her own, the insides of his shoes resting against the outsides of hers. Max felt a thrill run through her at the casual contact. Jesus Christ, you're losing your shit over accidental fucking footsie? Get a grip, she scolded herself as she took a sip of the strong black coffee the waitress had dropped off.
Mike leaned back and stretched an arm across the back of the booth as he stared out the window next to them, and she couldn't help but note that he'd put on a little muscle over the last year, his arms no longer quite as scrawny as she remembered. He turned his head back toward her and she quickly pulled her gaze away from his biceps and down to the sticky chrome tabletop. She felt his knee bouncing nervously under the table as he cleared his throat.
"Imagine if we could have used things we'd actually done to get each other out in 'never have I ever'? No way would they have been able to give us shit for being inexperienced."
Max raised an eyebrow as she met his eyes, humming thoughtfully. "Like… never have I ever attempted to exorcise a demon that was possessing my best friend's mind in a toolshed?"
"Never have I ever… used my friend's psychic powers to spy on our boyfriends?" Mike teased. Max rolled her eyes, leaning back and letting her knee fall to the side, brushing against his calf.
"I thought we were passed that," she shot back, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. "Never have I ever shot fireworks at a physical manifestation of pure evil inside a shopping mall?"
He leaned his head back and looked up at the ceiling like he was thinking. "Never have I ever stabbed a tranquillizer needle into someone's neck and then stole their car?" Max laughed, remembering the first time she'd really stood up to Billy.
"That was very fucking badass by the way," Mike added, flashing her a grin as her heart skipped at his praise.
"Man, we've seen some fucked up shit, huh?" she laughed, leaning her elbow on the table and beaming at him as she propped her chin up in her hand, thrilled they'd gone back to their usual effortless banter.
Mike gave her an unreadable look and took a breath as if he was about to say something just as their waitress appeared at the table, placing a plate of pancakes in front of Mike and a bacon and egg sandwich in front of Max, and the moment was forgotten as they hungrily dug into their food.
They were quieter on the drive back than they'd been on the way there, silent save for the David Bowie tape in the stereo which was currently playing his subdued cover of "God Only Knows". Max leaned her head against the passenger window, curling her knees up under her chin and following the repetitive path of the raindrops sliding down the glass as monotonous farmland flashed by in the background.
She obsessively replayed the events of last night in her head on an endless loop, searching her drug-addled memories for any hint that Mike could possibly want her as much as she wanted him.
Sometime later the tape ended and she dropped her feet back down to the floor, reaching for her backpack and sneaking a glance up at him. He looked back at her, flashing her a warm smile that made her damn heart do a somersault in her chest. Okay, Mayfield, she thought to herself as she quickly dropped her gaze and began rifling through her tape collection. This is ridiculous, it's time to grow a pair. If he rejects you, it'll majorly fucking suck but at least you won't be in this confusing purgatory anymore.
Her hands shook slightly as she took her Talking Heads Little Creatures tape out of its case and popped it into the stereo, the reality of her decision starting to sink in. Luckily, she still had about an hour to psych herself up. More like completely freak the fuck out.
When they passed the Welcome to Hawkins sign, Max's palms started sweating, and by the time Mike was turning the station wagon down Kerley Drive and "Road to Nowhere" was playing over the speakers, her stomach was in absolute knots and she was fighting the urge to dig her nails into her skin just to distract herself from the anxiety that had been steadily building inside her.
Too soon he was pulling into the empty parking spot next to her trailer and killing the engine, and then all that she heard was the light patter of raindrops on the rooftop and her blood rushing in her ears.
Max unbuckled her seatbelt and reflexively moved to open the door, already chickening out when a voice inside her head that sounded suspiciously like Kate started screaming at her to stop being such a pussy, making her pause. God, am I seriously doing this?
She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep, shaky breath, steeling herself before turning back to face Mike. He appeared to have been deep in thought, staring blankly at the steering wheel, but now he turned his head towards her with a questioning look on his face. She slowly reached up and pulled her scrunchie off of her ponytail, shaking out her still-wavy hair and tossing it over her shoulder dramatically while maintaining eye contact with him just like Rachel had shown her.
"Is your neck sore…?" Mike asked, raising an eyebrow and eyeing her warily. Okay, forget that strategy, Max thought to herself as her face and neck heated up. She'd just have to go the old no-bullshit route like she usually did.
"No, um, I'm good," she said, letting out a nervous laugh and fiddling with the drawstrings of her hoodie. "Great, actually." She swallowed hard and scooted imperceptibly closer to him on the vinyl seat, subtly angling her body toward his. "That was… honestly one of the best nights of my life." Mike let out a hum of agreement.
"Yeah, same here," he said, turning towards her and resting his right arm on the back of her seat. Max took another shaky breath in and her gaze fell to his mouth which was quirking up into a smile.
She was standing on the edge of a cliff, not knowing if she was going to plunge into refreshing turquoise water or smash her body into smithereens on jagged rocks. But god, she wanted to jump. If the universe doesn't want this to happen, now would be the time to send me a sign. His eyebrows started to knit together in confusion as the silence stretched out between them, the tension growing unbearably just like it had in the pantry last night.
Oh fuck it, here goes nothing, she thought as she leaned forward, letting her eyes fall closed and planting her lips firmly onto his.
A surprised noise seemed to catch in Mike's throat and he was frozen, warm lips unmoving against hers, the agonizing seconds feeling like minutes as Max's heart hammered against her breastbone. Shit. Fuck. This was totally a mistake, she thought, panicking internally. Abort. Abort! But then he exhaled sharply through his nose and he was kissing her back, his left hand lifting cautiously, gently brushing her cheek before sliding into her hair and around the back of her head.
The butterflies in her stomach were doing victory cartwheels as she melted into his touch, their lips moving together in perfect harmony. Oh man, this was so much better than her dreams, she thought as she exhaled a sigh of pure relief while fireworks exploded under her skin.
"Waitwaitwait," Mike breathed as he broke the kiss. Max felt her heart crack a little when he pulled away from her, but then he just hastily unbuckled his seatbelt before pulling her across the middle console as much as he could and slamming his lips back on hers, his long fingers spreading across the side of her face and under her jaw, and she felt the crack seal up as quickly as it appeared.
She couldn't help the quiet moan that escaped when he flicked his tongue across her bottom lip, and she eagerly let her mouth part against his. His tongue was sliding into her mouth, hot and insistent, and his other hand wrapped around her waist, palm splaying over her back as he pressed her torso against his. As the emergency brake dug into her thigh she noted that he tasted like maple syrup.
Holy hell, Max thought as she finally ran her hands through his soft dark hair, who knew Mike Wheeler could fucking kiss? Her left hand curled into the long hair at the back of his head while her right hand slid down to his chest, grasping at the soft cotton of his t-shirt.
She took a chance and pulled back a little, closing her teeth gently around his bottom lip and giving it a tug before releasing it. Mike groaned in the back of his throat and pulled her back in, gently brushing his lips against hers almost teasingly before turning her chin to the side with his hand and kissing along her jaw. Her eyes flew open and she gasped breathlessly at the feeling of his teeth grazing her neck, a shiver of pure pleasure running through her as she absently noted that the windows had started to fog over.
She felt a fire starting from somewhere deep in her core, rapidly spreading through her limbs as Mike continued to trail kisses and bites down the side of her throat, and she was certain he could feel her racing pulse under his lips. Her body was screaming for more and she tugged his hair, forcing his face back up to hers as she captured his lips in another heated kiss, plunging her tongue into his mouth and letting it slide desperately against his.
Max had never, never been kissed like this before, and she was seriously contemplating vaulting over the centre console and straddling his lap, suddenly filled with a burning desire to press her body against his until there wasn't a single millimetre of space left between them.
Mike moaned weakly, a sound that Max immediately committed to memory, and then he grabbed her face with both hands and forced her to slow down, alternating between sucking her lower lip between his and letting the tips of their tongues brush together until they were out of breath and her heartbeat had taken up residence between her thighs.
She had no idea how much time had passed by the time they reluctantly parted, gasping for air as they stared at each other, knowing their relationship had just been irrevocably changed. His thumbs brushed her cheeks tenderly, hands trailing down the sides of her neck before dropping back into his lap as she released his shirt from her tight grasp and raked her hands through her hair.
Her eyes roamed over Mike's face, taking in his flushed cheeks and swollen lips, his wavy hair thoroughly dishevelled from her hands, and she thought he'd never looked more gorgeous. Jesus, what the hell do I say now? she wondered as they continued to stare at each other wide-eyed. Thanks for the mindblowing makeout, see you at school tomorrow?
"Okay," Max breathed once she'd regained some of her composure, starting to turn towards the door and reach for the handle. "I should-"
"Let me get your bag from the trunk!" Mike exclaimed, quickly turning to open his own door.
"Oh, that's ok-" she started, but he'd already jumped out and dashed around to the back of the car.
She bit her lip and grinned to herself as she got up out of the car, her head spinning as the gravel crunched beneath her feet. Holy shit, I just kissed Mike! And he kissed me back! And it felt like… it felt like her heart had started beating properly for the first time since last summer.
Max closed the door, touching her fingers to her still-tingling lips and wondering if she should invite him inside as she turned towards her trailer- and then she froze, her stomach going into a free fall. Because in her lust-filled daze, she hadn't noticed the dark blue minivan parked just up the road until now.
And sitting on her front steps, arms crossed and stone-faced, was Lucas.