Shino held out the box more than two weeks late, but there was a reason for that. He didn't want to give it to her at work, and Hinata kept making excuses not to meet him out because she didn't want Itachi to be right, but this felt a little too personal for him to be wrong.
The wind was still for once, but there was still an uncomfortable chill in the air. Hinata wrapped her fingers around the coffee he stopped to get her. The paper cup was keeping her fingers warm and giving her an excuse not to look at him. "I didn't get you anything." She repeated.
"I know," Shino held the box out higher. Hinata reluctantly took it, hoping he didn't want her to open it now because she really didn't want to. If she liked it, she would feel bad, and if she didn't, she would feel worse. "If you don't want it for Christmas, think about it being for your birthday."
Hinata's eyes shot up. "How did you…?" She always lied about her birthday, so people would crush her soul on Hanabi's death anniversary when she deserved it. Itachi was the only one that knew when her birthday actually was.
"I do our taxes," Shino answered simply. He wasn't upset that she lied to him? "I don't understand why you keep us at a distance like we are all friends. It's been years, and you've never told us anything about you."
Hinata lowered her face into her scarf. She didn't want to have this conversation. Why couldn't he go on ignoring it like they had for years? It was the only thing making their 'friendship' feel safe.
"Why can't you let us in?" Shino asked honestly.
Hinata squeezed the gift box. Was she selfish for wanting to keep them at a distance comfortable for her? Itachi was right about her. She pushed people away because she didn't want to be forgiven, but if she never told them, then they couldn't pity her. "I don't want us to become closer." Shino blinked at her direct answer. It felt like a gut punch admitting it. "I like where we are. If I let you in, I will push you out."
Shino put his hands in his pockets, looking down at his feet. "Alright. I can respect that."
Hinata pressed her lips in a line. It was possible that just telling him that she wanted nothing to change would make things change. It wasn't just a question if she was putting up a wall. She was actively telling him there was a wall that she didn't want to come down. Would he want to stay her friend, knowing that they would always have this gap they couldn't ask about? "Thank you."
"Just keep in mind that we want to see you happy." Shino looked up at her. "And it's rare that you ever smile." Hinata knew he meant that with pure intentions, but it felt like he was telling her that she would be happier if she opened up. "You've been looking better lately, so I was hoping it would be a good time to…. Just know you can come to us if you need us."
Hinata nodded, but that was just the problem, wasn't it? She couldn't go to them with what upset her without explaining her past or sounding insane, talking about the reaper that followed her home or the ghost that attacked her in the alley.
Hinata was alone, and the only person who understood was the invisible creature looming in the distance.
The sewing machine echoed its mechanic rattling throughout the shop, stopping and going at the same aggressive speed every time. It was old and industrial, and its force could be heard in each drop of the needle. Hinata pushed fabric through it expertly, moving with unbroken focus as it shook the table it was crudely bolted down to.
Itachi closed his eyes, leaning his head on her back from his spot sitting on the floor behind her bench, ignored. He was content here with the constant human scent and occasional movement of her work. For someone who spent all day at a machine, she sat incredibly straight. When she did slouch, it was rarely for a few minutes before she sat back up like she had been shocked.
Itachi would like to think that it was an innocent belief in good posture, but knowing her, it was more likely it was deep-rooted in being told to sit up straight as a child.
Itachi found himself craving her warmth more often like this. Sat doing nothing of importance, quietly, especially now. Hinata was more than beating herself up for what she said to her coworker. She walked slower to work, and her heart rate went up anxiously when she worked alone with the man she inadvertently rejected.
Itachi blinked as he felt something brush his face. A soft giggle made him look up at the loose thread Hinata was purposely dropping over her shoulder onto him as clipped the ends from her work. He collected it as it fell until she ran out and sat up. "You could have asked me to move." He set the ball of string on the bench beside her.
"I wasn't trying to get you to move," Hinata mumbled into her finishing before dusting off the piece and hanging it up. "I do think you were falling asleep back there."
"I don't sleep," Itachi answered.
Hinata rolled her eyes and picked up the next piece to see what it needed.
Hinata tilted her head at the preparations being made in the park. "I forgot about the festival." It was still incredibly cold, but some festivities liked the excuse for warm beverages and huddling for warmth. Hinata sighed with memories swimming through her eyes. Was there anything that she could enjoy without thinking about her sister?
Was this why he blocked out his memory? So he wouldn't look at things and only think of his little brother?
Itachi couldn't say that it worked. Sasuke still came up into his thoughts, but it was his own fault for following him around. How many things would he not be able to look at the same once Hinata was gone? How much pain was he setting himself up for by latching on to another finite life? Why did that thought not stop him?
To be completely fair, humans did the same. Marrying and staying with partners that they knew had illnesses when they met them that would cut their time together short. Maybe caring despite the threat of a time when you wouldn't be with that person was a core human trait.
And he was human once. Did that mean it still applied to him?
"Will you come with me?" Hinata broke his thought.
"Will you be going?" Hinata avoided most things that reminded her of her sister… unless she was torturing herself with it.
Hinata nodded. "I go every year."
Itachi knew she was setting herself up for pain. "I'll come."
"Shit." Shino cursed, snapping down his tools on the counter. "Fucking…"
Hinata snorted from her spot behind the racks of clothes. She covered her mouth to hide her giggle. Shino was usually so patient and calm, so when he did lose his patience, it always made her laugh. She was usually better at hiding it but hearing him curse in the complete silence just hit her too hard.
One of the racks moved, making her jump as Shino glared at her with his magnifying glasses still on. "Are you making fun of me?"
Hinata waved her hands. "Sorry, it just surprised me."
Shino grumbled. "Do you know how often you talk to the clothes?" Hinata blinked at him. Did Shino hear her talking to Itachi? "'Behave,' 'Stop moving,' 'Don't jam, I hate tulle too,' 'Rhinestones should be banned'?"
Oh, he meant literally when she was talking to the clothes and the sewing machine. "I think talking to them makes them cooperate." Hinata defended loosely.
Shino huffed. "Do you want coffee? I want coffee."
A smile spread across Hinata's face. She was worried that Shino was going to pull back from her after their talk. It had been quiet between them, which wasn't unusual, but the awkwardness of it was. This was Shino breaking through the silence and telling her that it was okay between them. "Do you think making your hands shake is going to help you?"
"I am ordering coffee." Shino decided.
Hinata giggled as he returned to the counter. She knew he only drank decaf anyway.
Itachi's arm circled her shoulders, making her look up as he rested his chin on her head. "What's gotten into you?" She whispered.
Itachi laid his head to this side on top of her head. Hinata raised her hand to his arm. Maybe a bad day at work? He rarely mentioned what the deaths that he cared for were like. What horrors did a reaper see? The worst of the worst crimes, the most unfortunate accidents, the saddest of lonely deaths?
"There is a new cinnamon latte," Shino called from the other side of the room.
"I'll take that," Hinata called back, feeling Itachi's arms tighten.
What was up with him?