Ontari was awake when Clarke woke in the morning. Clarke looked at her, then at Raven. "Let me up," she told Ontari quietly.
Ontari nodded and rolled out of bed. Clarke got out behind her and grabbed her boots. Ontari followed her to the common room after closing the door. Murphy waited for Clarke, but didn't say anything.
Clarke wasn't talking either. She sat down to put on her boots. When she tried to stand, Ontari's weight on her shoulder kept her in place.
"I'll wait in the hall," Murphy said, and left them.
"Your hand, Klark," Ontari said.
"No."
"Heda Leksa does not wish you to be alone."
"I need to go, Ontari."
"Klark," Lexa began, but Clarke stopped her.
"I have to go," she said, and slid out the other side of the chair.
"Klark," was the last thing she heard before she closed the door, and she wasn't sure which heda called.
"You OK?" Murphy asked.
"Let's go," Clarke answered.
In the training ring, Clarke worked harder than usual. After the fifth knockdown, she got up and charged Murphy. He went down with a surprised look on his face and didn't fight back. He covered his face at first, and when he realized no help was coming, defended himself until he was able to flip Clarke away. He held her on the ground. "What the fuck is your problem today?"
"Let me go."
"Not if you're going to hit me again. I'm not your personal punching bag, Princess."
Clarke forced her arm free and it came up with her dagger. She held it to Murphy's throat as she had before, as she had with Lexa. "Let me up."
Murphy raised his hands and got to his feet. He backed away from Clarke.
She got to her feet and sheathed the dagger. Alba got between them. "Wanheda, you are finished for the day."
Clarke nodded and walked past him. She ignored Murphy and picked up her walked away quickly. He watched for a few seconds before excusing himself to Alba. Murphy followed Clarke at a distance. She went to the stables, and a few minutes after she rode out, he was behind her.
Clarke set a trap for him a short distance into the forest. She wanted to be alone, to grieve what was past. She wanted to try to get used to the silence in her head in case Raven was wrong, in case Lexa was wrong. Waking up between Raven and Ontari made her feel weak, as if they thought they had to care for her. She didn't want them or anyone taking care of her like that. Her pain was her own, and she needed to work through it now.
She heard the trap spring, and heard Murphy hit the ground hard. She stepped out of the trees onto the path and caught his startled horse.
"What is your fucking problem today," Murphy demanded as soon as he could sit up.
"Go back to the Tower, Murphy."
"You know I can't do that."
"That's an order, Murphy."
"I don't take orders from you, Princess. Well, I do, but I have orders from higher up, so I'm gonna make sure you don't do something stupider than usual."
"What stupid thing do you think I'm going to do?"
"I don't know." Murphy took a deep breath and stood up. "Tell me what's going on and I might leave you alone."
Clarke walked his horse back to him. "I just need to breathe."
"Is this about yesterday?"
"No."
"You can't hear her," he guessed.
She turned her back to him and began to walk toward where her horse waited.
"You'll get her back."
Clarke spun to face him. "And what if I don't? What if this was all just wasted time and effort that should have gone into making Skaikru safe?"
"You don't believe that."
"I don't know what to believe." Clarke turned around again.
Murphy knew better than to touch her, so he dropped the horse's reins and caught up. "Raven wouldn't lie to you about this."
"She thinks she can pull this off, but what if she can't?"
"C'mon, Griffin, we're almost there. Heading into the last lap. Nobody's gonna let you give up now."
They both turned when they heard hoofbeats on the path behind them. Murphy saw her first and walked toward Ontari to take charge of her horse when she dismounted.
Clarke watched Ontari approach. When she was close, she saw Lexa's green eyes searching her face with concern.
"Klark, I will not leave you," Lexa promised. She reached out and picked up one of Clarke's hands. A moment later, she cut her palm and Clarke's and clasped them together.
"I thought you were gone," Clarke whispered.
"I am here, and soon we will be together, you and I without an intermediary. I made you a promise, niron, and I will keep it."
Clarke stared and a moment later heard Lexa in her head. I swear fealty to you, Klark kom Skaikru en Trikru en Azgeda. We will meet again.
"We have much to do before you leave, Klark," Ontari said.
Clarke nodded but didn't let go of her hand. Ontari put her other hand on Clarke's shoulder. "Raven said to tell you that you snore," she said softly, and smirked at Clarke.
It startled Clarke back into herself, out of the mix of grief and anxiety that drove her flight. She smiled back at Ontari. "I'm pretty sure that was you."
Murphy snickered and covered it with a cough.
Ontari and Clarke ignored him. "Breakfast waits," Ontari said, and squeezed Clarke's shoulder.
Clarke released her hand. She glanced at her palm, the bright new skin in the drying black blood, and watched Ontari take her horse back from Murphy. As she rode away, he approached Clarke again. "Better?"
"Yeah."
"Next time, Ambassador, use your words."
"Asshole."
"Takes one to know one. You better hurry or I'll eat your breakfast, too."
100 – 100 – 100
"Me, Raven, Mom, Murphy, four guards"
"Eight guards," Ontari interrupted.
"There isn't room for them," Clarke answered. "Tents. Sleeping bags. Cooking pots. Food. Clothes."
"Sketchbook and charcoal. I want to see what this place looks like. And eight guards, Klark. You will make room."
"Ontari, there literally isn't enough room on the boat for all of our gear and 13 people."
"Thirteen?"
"Coming back. Four guards. I can fight, Murphy can fight. Raven's good with guns. Mom can use one if she has to. We will be fine."
"Heda Leksa insists you will take at least six guards."
"Four," Clarke answered firmly and stood up. "I need to talk to my mom."
Sis, Klark.
As she entered the hallway, Clarke said, "Fou, Leksa. Unless you have another boat stashed somewhere."
Clarke quickly climbed the stairs. She knocked on the door to the rooms her mother shared with Marcus. He let her in quickly.
They sat at the table, and Clarke began without any preliminary small talk. "I need you to come with me to the City of Light."
"Why would I do that?"
"Because I'm asking you."
"Asking or ordering?"
"I'm asking, Mom. Will you please come with me to the City of Light?"
"And if I say no?"
"We don't have time for this. I'm asking. We will need your help. Raven's machine smart, but we're going to need you too, I'm going to need you. You're the only one I trust to do this. Please."
"How dangerous is this going to be?"
"I don't know. We're bringing some guards along. I think it will be safe once we get there."
"And who is we?"
"You, me, Raven, and Murphy."
Abby exhaled slowly. "What are we going to do once we get there?"
"Bring Lexa back."
"Why is this so important to you?"
"If you could bring Dad back, wouldn't you?"
"Clarke, you can't resurrect the dead."
"Not resurrect. But she's coming back with us."
"Do you know how this sounds?"
"Yeah, and I don't care."
"I can't indulge your delusions."
"OK, then, I'm ordering you to come with us. And Ontari will order you to come with us. And you'll come in chains if that's what it takes to get you on the boat. You'll need a comprehensive first aid kit and a few changes of clothes. I'll let you know when we pick a date to leave. It's going to be soon." She stood up. Before leaving, Clarke nodded toward Marcus, who hadn't said anything. Before the door closed behind her, she heard her mother complaining to Marcus.
100- 100 – 100
Raven sat with Ontari and Fair, partly to give Clarke a break and partly because Clarke had no idea how to explain the tech that dominated the portion of the first heda's journal they were currently reading. Clarke went downstairs to meet with Skaikru. It would be her only opportunity before they left.
Doors were open the length of the hall. Clarke stopped in each to say hello, then made her way back to Miller's room. He had extra seats, but only one empty one. Clarke took it and looked at them. "I guess you heard the rumors. I'm going to the City of Light. Murphy, Raven, and my mom are going with me."
"Why?"
"Still part of that long story I can't share yet. I will when I get back, no matter what happens while I'm gone."
"Are we safe?" Monroe asked.
"I wouldn't leave if you weren't. Hopefully, by the time I return, Roan will have an answer for us."
"What if his answer is no?"
"We'll find someplace else. Keep everybody working and learning. We'll need those skills soon."
Klark's palm itched and she frowned. The recent distance between her and Ontari was quickly receding as their departure neared. Clarke thought Ontari would be spending her free time with Raven, but Ontari had more time than Raven.
"You will be safe," Ontari said from the doorway.
Clarke stood to greet her. "Heda, we did not expect you."
"Continue."
"We're finished, unless you have questions?"
The others shook their heads.
Clarke told them, "Take care of each other," and walked to the door. "Heda," she repeated softly.
"Sha," Lexa and Ontari answered together.
"I thought you were with Fair and Raven." Clarke pushed against her shoulder to get in the hall.
"Raven got an idea so we had to leave." Ontari followed Clarke while Lexa talked. "I sent Fair back to her quarters."
Clarke waved when one of Skaikru caught her eye, but said nothing until they were in the stairwell. "Leksa, you should let Ontari spend time with Raven."
"I will spend time with you now and Ontari will stay with Raven later."
Clarke stopped and sat on a step. "Say whatever you're going to."
"Soon, Klark." Ontari sat on the step above Clarke but didn't touch her. "We will be together soon. Don't be afraid."
"Little late for that," Clarke muttered.
"Come, Wanheda," Ontari answered and got to her feet. "You play chess. We will play tonight."
Clarke stood and hurried down the stairs, Ontari close behind.