Lexa wasn't surprised to find Clarke gone. She found the note Clarke left on the table telling her she would be out of the city for the day but home for supper. Lexa wished Clarke had spoken with her first. They could have gone together, and at the same time, Lexa understood Clarke's need to get away from everyone for a while. This time, at least, Clarke left a note and promised to be back for supper.
While she prepared for the day, she realized that since she and Clarke returned to Polis, they had virtually no time for themselves. The Natblida, including Ontari, consumed her time. Lexa loved that part of her duties, spending time with her charges to ensure that they were ready when the time came. Aden would be a general and Fair fleimkepa someday, hopefully many years in the future. The paths of the others would become clearer as they grew. Lexa's most fervent hope was that the tradition Roan and Ontari started would continue. There was no reason for the Natblida to destroy each other when their skills and education gave them the means to improve their world.
She would talk to Ontari, Lexa decided. She and Clarke should be able to leave the city for some time; in return, when Ontari wanted the same with Raven, Lexa could cover for her. She knew that there would always be interruptions in Polis. Someone would always need one or both of them.
As prepared as she could get, Lexa went to breakfast with the Natblida. Ontari would summon them to witness Heda pass judgment on and punish Lander. Beyond that, Lexa was not sure what would happen.
"Why didn't Wanheda kill him?" was the question of all her charges when she finished explaining what happened.
"It is not her way." Lexa tried to explain. "Klark feels enough of us have died."
"Why?"
Lexa mulled her answer for a few seconds. "If death is always the answer, what value does life have?"
"Every life ends in death," Fair said.
"Sha, but it should be at the end of a long life, not because you cannot hold your drink or are angry and do something stupid. The punishment should fit the crime."
"It will," Ontari said, and the Natblida scrambled to their feet. When they were assembled, she instructed, "Come." Before she turned to guide them away, she looked at Lexa with a question on her face. Lexa subtly shook her head.
They followed her to the training ring, where Lander waited, an Azgeda guard on either side. The area was otherwise empty, a concession to his pride. He glared at Ontari and Lexa.
"Lander, you insulted me, Fleimkepa, and Wanheda. She was gracious and allowed you to apologize, yet you attacked Wanheda again."
He remained silent.
"I should have killed you then, but Wanheda worried what would happen to your kru. She is the only reason you live, and the only reason you will return home."
Lander relaxed then. thinking he had gotten the better of the useless girls.
"You raised your hand against me on two different occasions. For that you will lose it."
Seconds later, it was done, and seconds after that, his wound was cauterized with a blade that had been sitting in a fire. An hour later, he was leaving Polis with the warriors who arrived with him and the bulk of the Rock Line gona assigned to the City.
100 - 100 - 100
Raven spent the morning on the roof of the hospital. Roger and Fay brought things she needed up to her, held panels in place for mounting, and helped Raven wire the panels together. They had a battery from the Ark mounted in the top floor storage, the connecting wires dropping in a neat bundle through a small hole that Raven sealed with silicone.
"Let's go eat," she said, satisfied with the rooftop portion of their day. Wiring the battery was a nitpicky job, but one that she could do in less than a day. It was big enough, once charged, to run the portable x-ray machine, a centrifuge, and an autoclave, just not all at once, a point she intended to repeat to Abby until she understood that doing that could destroy everything.
Raven ignored, and Roger and Fay had lost the fear of their guards. Raven had been through the market enough to know where to find her favorite foods, and her minions were content to follow her lead.
100 - 100 - 100
The sun was falling behind the trees by the time Clarke returned to Polis. She tended her horse herself, wanting a little more time of her own, and Murphy waited for her outside the stable so they could walk to the Tower together. When she returned to their rooms, Lexa was eating. Clarke's meal waited at her usual spot so she slid in without saying anything and relaxed when Lexa didn't immediately start a conversation.
When Clarke finished what she could, she pushed the plate away. "Is it done?"
"Sha. They were gone before sanch."
"Anybody have anything to say?"
"No, but most of the gona Rock Line are required to keep in Polis left with him."
Clarke exhaled slowly, then stood up. "I'll go talk to their ambassador."
Lexa reached and caught Clarke's wrist. "Tomorrow."
"Waiting will make it worse."
"It will not. No one was there except a few guards, the Natblida, and the healer who treated Lander. His gona were surprisingly disciplined, but obviously angry when they saw him. What happened is not your fault, Klark. If anything, it is mine. I did not convince him that I could best serve the Coalition and Heda as Fleimkepa." Lexa sighed and hesitated for a moment. "I am surprised he attacked you. He was at the Mountain."
Clarke closed her eyes and slowly shook her head.
Lexa moved closer and waited for Clarke to look at her.
"Blood must have blood until it does not," Lexa calmly reminded Clarke. "Considering the alternatives, today was the best possible outcome. Raven's idea was sensible. Lander lives, but he received an appropriate punishment for his actions, one that he should understand."
"No more tonight. I don't want to hear about politics or violence or blood."
Lexa nodded. "No more tonight," she agreed, and pulled Clarke into her lap. Clarke went willingly and put her head on Lexa's shoulder. They stayed there until the table was cleared, signaling Fair's time.
100 - 100 - 100
After breakfast, Lexa kissed Clarke and left to begin her day. Clarke sat for a few minutes more, ordering in her head all she had to do. First was the Rock Line bandrona, then the others. She suspected more than one of the remaining clan leaders would want a word, too, and sighed. She still had to find time for Skaikru, tell them the option Heda offered, and still had to find ways to keep it all together.
The Rock Line bandrona wasn't upset with her. "Lander should not have done any of that. He told me, after speaking with Fleimkepa for many hours, that he believed her. I did not know he would be a planhaka (plan hacker/interfering asshole)."
"Fleimkepa did not either. She blames herself."
"It is all on Lander." He sighed. "I like you, Wanheda, so I will speak plainly. Lander will not accept this and move forward. He will seek revenge, especially against you."
"Mochof." Clarke hesitated for a moment before extending an offer. "If it becomes unsafe for you, Azgeda will shelter you."
"I hope it does not come to that." He offered his hand to Clarke.
She returned his gesture. "As do I. Thank you for your time."
From there, Clarke started making her rounds. She saw every ambassador for a few minutes but was usually handed over to their leader, and was surprised when she was able to keep the meetings brief. There was no animosity about Lander. They had all seen him disrespect their leadership and felt that Clarke's reaction was mild but appropriate. They heard surprisingly accurate accounts of events at the training ring, and their only disagreement was that he lived.
Luna was as blunt as the Rock Line bandrona. "You must guard yourself, Klark. Lander will come for you. He will not care that he risks war with Azgeda. He will not care that Heda and Leksa will kill him slowly for any harm to you. He cares only for his wounded pride."
"His wounded pride will have to learn to use a sword with his non-dominant hand before he has a chance to do anything." Clarke answered.
"Do not underestimate him," Luna said, her tone serious. "I have never seen anything but a pauna hold a grudge like Lander does."
"Last pauna that attacked us is a rug," Clarke reminded her.
After half a second, Luna laughed and clapped Clarke's shoulder. "If you need anything from Floukru, ask."
"And if you need anything from Azgeda, ask. And especially ask if you need or want something from Lexa or I."
"Same," Luna answered, and offered her arm.
Clarke returned the gesture with a real smile.
100 - 100 - 100
When they met for supper, Lexa was happy to see that Clarke was returning to normal. The frown she'd been wearing was gone, but Clarke apologized immediately. "I have to see Skaikru after we eat."
"May I come?"
"As long as they don't mind."
"They may have questions."
"They may," Clarke agreed. "And now we can tell them everything, if they want to hear."
"Sha," Lexa agreed.
They ate without talking any more, and when Clarke rose, Lexa followed. She paused at the door to give the guards a message for Fair.
They skipped the elevator in favor of the stairs. Clarke was quiet, thinking, worrying. Roan set time aside for her in the morning. Skaikru could be all of the agenda, depending on their decision.
Skaikru knew she was coming, and conversation followed her down the hall. The door to Miller's room was open. Harper and Monroe were there with him. When they saw Lexa, they all stared for a few moments. Miller was the first to recover. "Commander, it's good to see you."
"It is good to see you again," Lexa answered. "All of you."
"Lexa isn't the commander any more. She's the Fleimkepa. Uh," she turned to Lexa and they had a quiet discussion. "There isn't really an equivalent in English," Clarke continued, "so you can continue to call her Commander as long as you address Ontari as Heda."
They all nodded.
"So you have an answer for me, for Heda?"
Miller silently handed her the paper with the vote count.
Clarke looked at it. Lexa read over her shoulder.
"Everybody agreed that the majority vote is binding?"
"Yeah," Miller answered. "We've been talking, working everything out."
"It's almost unanimous," Monroe added.
"The ones who don't agree?"
"They have plans to travel. They can, right?"
"They may," Lexa answered. "Skaikru is part of the Coalition and all members are allowed the same freedom of movement."
Miller looked toward the door. "We're ready for you," he told Clarke.
She nodded and followed Miller to the door. He put the box in the doorway to his room and offered Clarke his arm so she could climb up safely.
She looked up and down the hall, noting changes to all of them. "It's been a hell of a ride," she started, "from the time we woke up in the drop ship to now. You, each one of you, has survived things we never imagined. I'm sorry I haven't been able to spend more time with you, but I never for one minute forget about us.
"I'll speak with Heda tomorrow. We'll work everything out. In the meantime, keep doing what you've been doing. If you need me, I'll be here."
Skaikru took Clarke at her word. As soon as she stepped down from the box, she disappeared into the bodies in the hall. Lexa went back to the table in Miller's room and sat down to wait. Harper sat with her.
"I do not need company if you want to join your friends."
"I know."
"You do not agree with their decision."
Harper shrugged. "It doesn't matter."
"What will you do?"
"Miller and Monroe and I will talk to Clarke before we decide."
Lexa looked at her, saw the same changes she saw in Clarke soon after they met, realizing the weight of leadership and responsibility. "Sometimes, you must allow someone else to carry the burden."
"If we bail on Clarke, who has her back?"
"I do."
"No offense commander, but you aren't enough. When you were gone, Clarke wasn't good."
Lexa tried to interrupt and Harper talked over her.
"She did everything she had to do for us. She did everything she had to do for Azgeda. She did everything Heda asked, and she did everything to get you back. The only one she let close was fucking Murphy. She'd come and talk to us, and then she'd run like we would hurt her. Clarke loves you, and you love her, but you, alone, aren't enough."
It had been a long time since anyone spoke so directly to Lexa, and for a second, she saw and heard Anya. You cannot be all things to all people, Leksa, and you must allow Costia time for other friends. You have me, and Gustus, and Indra, the other Natblida, but you discourage Costia from spending time with anyone but you. It is not fair to either of you. You cannot grow without roots.
Monroe joined them, looked from one to the other, felt the heaviness of the silence in their conversation. "Should I come back?"
"No," Harper told her. "The Commander and I were just talking about Clarke." She looked at Lexa. "Right?"
"Correct." Lexa smiled slightly. "Harper reminded me of a lesson Anya tried to teach me long ago. Thank you."
"Anya…" Monroe said, thinking.
"Broke Clarke out of the Mountain," Harper supplied.
"Sha," Lexa agreed, remembering. First her Fos, then her friend, Anya was there for every big moment of Lexa's young life. Even in her grief, Lexa knew that Anya recognized Clarke as her equal, as the partner she would need to reach her goals despite Anya's personal distaste for Skaikru. All Lexa could think as she watched her gona lead Maunon's prisoners from the Mountain was that Anya's death was not in vain because if she thought about leaving Clarke at the door in the tunnels she would break. "Mochof, Harper," she said with a real smile.
"As long as Clarke's OK, we're good." Harper offered her hand across the table.
Lexa reached back, expecting Skaikru's handshake. Clarke once explained how it originated and how it reverted. Harper grasped Lexa's forearm, and Lexa returned the gesture. When they separated, both sat back to wait for Clarke. Monroe left and returned with mugs and a pitcher of water, and they sat at the table, watching Clarke in the hall.
It took nearly two hours. Lexa sat and listened and observed, smiling sometimes at the bits of conversation she caught and the looks on the faces of Clarke and those she spoke with. Clarke was more animated tonight, relaxed without alcohol, and Lexa was grateful. It gave her hope that Clarke would rest without nightmares.