Notes:
Sorry for the delay – if you want to keep up to date with this story, follow me on Archive of Our Own (my username is: LauraScofield) because that's where I update first!
Prepare yourselves for buckets of drama and (hopefully) some surprises XD
Please read the 'Previously' below, because I give reminders of details you've possibly forgotten about.
Previously on 'Between My Captain & Commander': Levi and Erwin organise a special night for Armin's birthday, involving a rooftop picnic, role-play, and Armin topping Levi for the first time. They also gift Armin with a key to Erwin's quarters.
But despite his feelings for the men, Armin struggles with lingering concerns over their triad. Right after the encounter, he goes for a walk in the grounds to clear his head. There he bumps into Eren and Mikasa, who have just gotten engaged. Armin is delighted for them, but less thrilled about Mikasa's attention to his t-shirt - which happens to be Levi's.
In the library, Armin has been given permission to appoint a temporary assistant to help with the upcoming library event. He chooses Floch, believing the man deserves a second chance. But his friends are not happy about his choice.
Chapter 26: The Cost of Secrets
Erwin
When Erwin and Levi entered the mess hall the next morning, there was a commotion around one of the tables.
"Tch, is it too much to ask to eat breakfast in peace?" Levi grumbled.
Erwin slowed his pace as he walked past the crowded table, hoping to overhear what the excitement was about. His eyes were drawn to an unruly mop of blond hair halfway down the table. As he drew closer, he saw that Armin was in the middle of a discussion with his friends Jean and Marco.
"I just think they're too young, that's all. And Mikasa could do way better than that psychopathic idiot!"
"Jean they're grown adults, they can make their own decisions." Armin covered a yawn with his hand.
"I'm just saying, I think you should have stopped them."
"So you could have Eren all to yourself?"
"I think it's great that we're going to have a Survey Corps wedding," Marco cut in, before Jean could retort to Armin's teasing. He spotted Erwin and Levi walking past. "Commander, Captain, have you heard the good news?"
Erwin noted how the crowd of soldiers was focused around the far side of the table, where Eren and Mikasa were seated. The pieces fell into place.
"Did I hear something about a wedding?"
Jean swivelled in his seat, features screwed up in consternation. "Yeah, Eren and Mikasa got engaged."
"Mikasa proposed to him last night," Armin added.
An impulsive smile broke over Erwin's face at the news. But his happiness deflated as he took in details of Armin's appearance. He was wearing an oversized hoody which covered up his lower neck – probably to hide the mark Levi had left there last night. His hair was tousled like it hadn't seen a comb this morning, and shadows hung under those bright blue eyes.
He looks exhausted. Obviously he didn't sleep much after going back to his own room last night.
Erwin glanced at Levi. The man's face was a blank, unreadable mask, and his gaze was fixed determinedly away from Armin. No doubt last night's activities were still fresh on his mind.
Erwin gave his partner a nudge to get his attention.
"Want to go congratulate the couple?"
Levi's response came in the form of an irritated huff of breath.
"It won't take long," Erwin promised. He resisted the urge to take his partner's hand. Levi preferred not to display affection in public, and Erwin respected that.
"Fine. Let's get this over with."
Levi squared his shoulders, and led the way over to Eren and Mikasa. The crowd of soldiers around them parted at their approach.
"Oi brats, we just heard you got engaged. Is it true?"
The grin on Eren's face intensified, like his happiness was spilling out of him. "Yes, can you believe it?"
Eren's new fiancé didn't seem to be dealing so well with all the attention. Apparently a distaste for excessive social interaction was a shared Ackerman trait.
"Congratulations, that's wonderful news!" Erwin said. "Have you any plans for the wedding?"
As Eren replied in a long ramble, Erwin took in all the smiling, chattering soldiers gathered around the table. It reminded him of when people found out about his own relationship with Levi. While he was still facing backlash with politicians in Mitras over that, the Survey Corps had shown nothing but acceptance and understanding.
This could be the perfect opportunity to show my gratitude for their support during that tough time…
"We need to celebrate your engagement," Erwin said decisively. "I'll arrange a party in the Recreation Building. Would tonight suit you?"
Mikasa's face went as red as the scarf twined around her neck. "Please Commander, you don't need to go to any trouble."
"It's not every day one of our members gets engaged," Erwin insisted. "Much less two of us."
Eren grasped his fiancé's hand. "We really appreciate it Commander, thank you!"
"Yes, thank you." Mikasa's gaze fixed on Levi, a furrow between her dark eyebrows.
Is she disappointed by Levi's lack of response to the news? Surely she knows he'd prefer to congratulate her when there's less people around…
At that moment, Hange entered the mess hall. They stood frozen in the doorway, surveying the large crowd gathered around the single table.
"What in the name of titans is going on here?"
"Mikasa and I got engaged!" Eren shouted over the noise.
"What?"
Eren held up the ring hanging on a chain around his neck. "Mikasa proposed to me last night. It was so romantic, we had a picnic under the stars and–"
His words turned to a muffle as Hange dashed forward and threw their arms around him.
"You crazy kids, I'm so happy for you!"
Hange released Eren from their grasp (who looked like he was struggling to breath), and attacked Mikasa next. The poor woman grimaced, no doubt regretting announcing this news at breakfast.
"Let's go, I'm starving." Levi tugged Erwin's arm, leading him away and over to their usual table.
Almost everyone else in the room was crowded around the newly engaged couple - with the notable exception of Floch Forster, who was sitting in a corner and totally absorbed in a book.
I doubt he'll be attending the party tonight. Although he does seem to be a little more sociable since he started helping out at the library.
Armin's decision to let Floch assist in preparations for the upcoming library event had concerned him at first. But he trusted Armin's judgement, and his willingness to give the man a second chance.
Erwin sat down, plans for tonight's party already racing through his head. He listed out ideas aloud, while his partner replied with a series of grunts, more intent on eating his breakfast.
"I don't know how many people will turn up, but the function room in the Recreation Building should be big enough. I'd better put in an order for food and drink as soon as possible. In terms of alcohol, I think wine and beer would be best. What do you think?"
Levi wrapped his fingers around his teacup in a vice-like grip, frowning down into the contents. "I wish you'd asked me about this first."
His words cast a cloud over Erwin's certainty of what a great idea this was.
"A formal celebration of Eren and Mikasa's engagement will be good for soldier moral." Erwin lowered his voice. "Not to mention, this could be a great excuse to spend some time with Armin in public. Weren't we looking for ways to make our friendship with him more open?"
"Yeah, I figured that might an ulterior motive. Did you have to make it for tonight though?" Levi glanced around, ensuring nobody was close by. "How am I supposed to have a casual conversation with Armin in front of others, without thinking about how the man fucked me senseless last night?"
Levi set down the teacup, his fingers shredding up his buttered toast into pieces. "We'll have to keep our guard up the whole time. What if we let something slip, and people figure out that we're in a relationship with him?"
Erwin shared his partner's concern. But they needed to start taking steps to make their friendship with Armin more public. It would make hiding their relationship easier – if anyone noticed that they were meeting up in private, the fact they were friends should help cover up any suspicions.
"It'll be fine, Levi. It's not like we haven't talked to him in public before. Don't overthink it."
They stopped talking when Hange and Mike joined them at their table, chatting excitedly about the party.
Levi continued picking apart his food, not eating any of it. Erwin's confidence wavered. What if his partner was right, and spending time with Armin at the party was a terrible idea?
But we need to start somewhere. If we're all careful, we can manage this.
Armin
The function room was packed – almost every soldier in the Survey Corps was here to celebrate Eren and Mikasa's engagement. Armin sipped at his wine, trying to relax and enjoy the party with his friends. But that was easier said than done.
This was the same room where they'd celebrated their graduation a year ago. The same night he'd been attacked by-
No, don't think about that. It's all in the past. You're moving on, remember?
Dredging up old anxieties was the last thing he needed right now. He already had enough to deal with in his current predicament.
Last night had been a disaster. He'd gone for a walk to process his lingering doubts over his relationship with Levi and Erwin. Then he'd bumped into Eren and Mikasa, just after their romantic midnight proposal.
And while Eren seemed clueless, Mikasa definitely paid way too much attention to the t-shirt he was wearing – a t-shirt that belonged to Levi. Had she recognised it?
Needless to say, Armin hardly slept last night. What would he say to Mikasa if she confronted him? And how could he explain his own stupidity to his partners?
He hadn't gotten a chance to speak to Levi and Erwin today. Part of him clung to a desperate hope that he was being paranoid, and Mikasa didn't actually suspect anything.
I guess time will tell …
Since arriving at the party two hours ago, the newly-engaged couple were constantly surrounded by swarms of well-wishers. So instead, Armin spent his time hanging out with Jean, Marco and Connie. Soldiers making the most of the free alcohol soon got rowdy, and conversations overlapped to create a tapestry of animated voices and laughter. Preferring to be cautious, Armin kept his own alcohol consumption to a minimum.
At around midnight, Hange clambered up onto a table. They waved their drink in the air and liquid sloshed over the sides.
"Let's have a toast – to Eren and Mikasa, the hottest couple in the Survey Corps!"
Every soldier in the room raised their glass and cheered. Eren basked in all the attention, while Mikasa sank deeper into her chair.
Hange threw an apologetic look at Erwin and Levi, who were sitting below them.
"Sorry guys! You've been demoted to the second hottest couple."
"Get off the fucking table Hange, you'll leave scratch marks."
Armin joined in with everyone's laughter as Levi grabbed his friend and manoeuvred them back into a seat. Grinning, Erwin patted Hange on the shoulder to show there were no hard feelings at their antics.
Jean stirred out of his drunken stupor and glared at Eren on the other side of the room. "What? Who in their right mind thinks Eren's hot?!"
"Don't be mean," Marco poked his friend good-naturedly.
"Oh come on, he can't compete with Levi or Erwin. Armin agrees with me, right?"
Armin almost spat out his drink. "W-what?"
"Have you still got that crush on the Commander?"
Armin struggled to catch his breath. He'd forgotten he confided in Jean about that, long before getting involved with Erwin and Levi. Sweat prickled under the collar of his shirt.
"Come on Jean, you need to sober up," Marco said. Gripping Jean by the arm, he dragged him away to get some water.
"CONNIE!" Sasha squeezed through the crowd to reach her friend. "They've just put out more food!"
Connie leapt out of his seat and followed her, leaving Armin sitting on the couch alone.
He surveyed the noisy room. Most of his friends were gathered around the food table picking out refreshments. He automatically searched for Levi and Erwin, and spotted them with a group of soldiers chatting to Eren. Armin recalled Hange's teasing of his partners during their speech.
Everyone here accepts their relationship so easily. But will they still be supportive if they discover our triad? How will it change people's opinions of them? Of me?
The risk Mikasa posed to their relationship crashed back into him. He glanced around the room. Where was she?
As if summoned by his thoughts, Mikasa collapsed on the far side of the couch. "Armin, if anyone else comes over to talk to me, please help me fight them off."
She adjusted the lacy sleeves of her long black dress. With her tall athletic build, the woman was stunning no matter what she wore. Tonight she looked both feminine and fierce.
Armin tugged at the high collar of his shirt, which he'd worn to conceal the mark on his neck. Not that it made much difference hiding it from Mikasa, since she'd already seen it last night.
"Are you ok?" he asked her.
"This party is a nightmare! Everyone keeps asking about our wedding plans, and when we're having kids. I know they mean well, but…" Mikasa raked her fingers through her short hair. "I don't know how much more I can handle. If anyone even mentions babies to me again tonight, I think I might murder them."
"Just smile politely, and then ignore everything they say," Armin suggested. "Anyway, why don't you just leave? Most people are drunk, I doubt they'll notice."
Mikasa turned towards the far side of the room, where Erwin was deep in conversation with her fiancé.
"No, I'll stay a bit longer. I don't want to look ungrateful after Erwin organised everything. It was so thoughtful of him."
Then she sighed, hand reaching for her throat, as if reflexively searching for her missing scarf.
"Armin, there's something I want to–"
"Hey guys!"
Sasha plonked herself down on the couch between them. On her lap, she rested a plate piled high with sandwiches.
"The Commander didn't cheap out on this party, right? The food is amazing!"
She offered the plate to her friends either side of her. Hand trembling, Armin accepted a sandwich, while Mikasa refused.
Heedless of interrupting them, Sasha began babbling on about food. Armin smiled indulgently, forcing his way through the sandwich without really tasting it.
What was Mikasa about to ask me?
The heat in the room grew oppressive and he rolled up his sleeves. Meanwhile, Sasha unceremoniously munched her way through the pile of sandwiches.
"This reminds me of the party for our graduation," she said wistfully. "The food that night was incredible too. I still have dreams about the potato salad – oh, hey Captain! Have you tried any of these sandwiches yet?"
Armin glanced up so fast a pain shot up his neck.
Levi hovered a few steps away. Like most soldiers, he'd dressed up for tonight – dark slacks and a crisp white shirt. He'd discarded his formal black jacket, but his customary cravat was still secured neatly at his throat.
A shiver rippled through Armin despite the stifling heat. I'd love to get him somewhere private and rip that cravat off his neck…
Levi brushed off Sasha's attempt to give him a sandwich. "No, I'm fine."
Awkward silence followed, and Armin's mind floundered with indecision. The last thing he wanted was to chat with Levi in front of Mikasa, given her possible suspicions about their relationship. But he also appreciated that Levi had made the effort to come over and socialise. That wouldn't have been easy for the gruff Captain.
"Do you want to join us?" Armin asked. There was no room on the couch, so he stood up. "You sit here, and I'll get a chair–"
Levi's hand circled his bare forearm. Armin flinched as sparks prickled along his skin, his traitorous thoughts recalling other times the man's hands had touched him.
"Don't bother, I'll sit here."
Levi perched himself on the armrest, and Armin sank back into his seat – painfully aware that the man he'd made love to last night was only inches away.
Stop thinking about that! Just act normal and everything will be fine.
If Levi was also on edge, he was doing a better job hiding it than Armin. He cleared his throat and turned to face Mikasa.
"Congratulations on your engagement. But do you really want to put up with that Yeager brat for the rest of your life?"
Mikasa's hands flexed. She snatched her glass on the table and took a sip of wine.
Sasha snorted. "Don't worry, she's got Eren wrapped around her finger."
"So I guess he's part of the Ackerman family now?" Levi asked.
Mikasa still didn't answer.
"Wait, you're not taking his surname? Will we have to start calling you Mrs Yeager?"
Mikasa finally returned his gaze, jaw tight. "No, we've decided we'll both be Ackerman-Yeager."
"Whatever you do, don't listen to Connie's advice," Sasha said through a mouthful of sandwich. "He thinks you should combine your names into Yackerman."
Armin's attempts to act normal were growing increasingly difficult. The citrus fragrance of Levi's soap filled his senses. He risked a glance to his right – the Captain's thighs on the armrest were almost at eye level, the fabric of his dark trousers tight over those powerful muscles.
Armin couldn't resist the memories of Levi bouncing on his lap last night. And how later, he'd pounded the man into the mattress while Erwin watched…
Oh god stop thinking about that!
It didn't help that Mikasa kept staring between Armin and Levi, a crease lining her brow as if she knew every dirty little secret of theirs. Armin took a huge gulp of wine, wishing in vain for something colder.
Meanwhile, Sasha assaulted Mikasa with a stream of questions.
"So what happens after you get married? Do you and Eren get a private room here? And what happens if you have a kid?" Sasha shifted her gaze over at Levi and Armin. "You two will be stuck on babysitting duty together."
"Wait, what?" Armin spluttered, face burning.
Sasha smirked at Mikasa. "They'll be the godparents, right? Armin's your best friend since childhood, and Levi… well I can't remember what he is. Your long lost cousin or something? Anyway, he's your only family. I'm sure he deserves the honour of minding your babies."
Mikasa's grip on her glass was so tight, the veins stood out starkly against her pale skin. And Armin could practically feel the waves of anger vibrating off Levi. If Sasha didn't stop talking soon, she was going to face the fury of two Ackermans.
Armin tried to diffuse the situation.
"Sasha, I'm sure children are a long, long way off for Eren and Mikasa-"
"Here's to the twelve Ackerman-Yeager children," Sasha said, raising her sandwich in a toast.
Right before Sasha got murdered before his eyes, Hange staggered across the room towards them.
"Levi, I thought you'd left! But look at you, being nice and sociable," Hange cooed. "Should I get you a chair? You're practically on top of our poor librarian."
"I need some air, it's too warm in here." Mikasa stood up, smoothing down the creases in her dress. She flicked her gaze between Armin and Levi. "Armin, you're looking flushed. Do you want to come with me?"
Stomach churning, and eager to escape any more inappropriate comments from Hange or Sasha, Armin followed her. Levi took his place on the couch while Hange dropped into Mikasa's. Sasha seemed unperturbed by the shift in companions.
"Hey Hange, have you tried these sandwiches yet?"
Armin felt guilty abandoning Levi like this. But the party had turned out to be an awful time to test out their friendship more publicly. Besides, he had more pressing matters to worry about…
He followed Mikasa out of the function room, and down the hall towards the front of the building. The bustle and chatter grew quieter with each step. In contrast, Armin's dread mounted the further they walked away.
Outside, the cold night air snapped at their clothes. Neither of them had coats or cloaks with them. Armin shivered against the chill. The fabric of Mikasa's dress flapped out around her long legs. How was she not freezing?
"Let's go over here," she said briskly, gesturing towards the corner of the building.
Armin dutifully followed. He assumed she was finding a secluded area, to ensure nobody leaving the party would interrupt them.
She turned and crossed her arms, mouth twisting in indecision. Finally she released a weary sigh.
"I don't know how to ask this, so I'll get straight to the point. Is something going on between you and Levi?"
The ground shifted beneath Armin's feet, the shockwaves of the accusation blasting through him. He doubted he could evade her suspicions by playing innocent, but it was worth a shot.
"What are you talking about?"
"When you met me and Eren last night, I know you'd just been with someone. Which is fine, except…" Mikasa rested against the wall, eyes squeezing shut. "You were wearing Levi's t-shirt. Why was that, Armin?"
His throat seized up. In his mental preparation for this scenario, he'd been fully prepared to lie. Deny everything, laugh at Mikasa's outrageous suggestions.
But lying to someone you love is a lot harder in reality...
"I mean, with all your secrecy these last few months about the person you've been sleeping with, I guessed it might be a superior. But not Levi." Her voice dropped to a deadly whisper. "He's not… taking advantage of you or anything, is he? Because if he's hurt you, I swear to god, I'll go back in there and-"
"What? No!"
A flame blazed to life inside Armin. All night he'd been pushing away memories of the graduation party last year – where Mikasa had defended him against Floch's attack.
Does she still see me as a pathetic soldier, who always needs someone to sweep in and rescue me?
But the concern on his friend's face cooled his frustration. She had no idea what was going on with him and Levi. He couldn't blame her for being protective.
His mind scrabbled for a way to appease her without confessing the whole truth.
"Mikasa it's fine, nobody's taking advantage of me."
"I know I said your love life is none of anyone's business. But if Levi's the one you've been seeing…"
Just tell her she's wrong!
But the lie lodged in Armin's throat. He doubted it would relieve her suspicions – either way she'd probably keep a close watch on him and Levi, making the triad a lot more complicated to hide.
And if Levi, Erwin and I eventually go public about our relationship, then Mikasa will discover that I lied to her about this...
"This is serious Armin. What happens if Erwin finds out? Do you really want to be caught up in a scandal like that?" Mikasa's voice shook with indignant. "I can't believe Levi would cheat on Erwin! I can't believe…" She trailed off, dropping her gaze to the gravel path.
Her message was clear – I can't believe you'd do this.
The unfairness of it all rose up with a choking force. If Armin was in a 'normal' relationship, he wouldn't be in this mess. He wouldn't have to hide anything from his friends.
Instead, he had to hide his unconventional triad from everyone. At least until a time when he, Levi and Erwin were comfortable with going public.
I wish I could explain all of this to Mikasa. And Eren too. Just them, nobody else…
But admitting the truth, even to a single person, was a betrayal of Levi and Erwin's confidence.
"I can't discuss what's going on, Mikasa. But trust me, you don't need to worry."
Armin flinched when she placed her hand on his shoulder.
"Please, just – just don't settle for something that has no future, or that will get you hurt in the end. You deserve better than that."
"I won't," Armin promised, heart sinking. It was his first lie to her during this conversation. After all, how did he know his triad with Levi and Erwin wouldn't end in heartbreak?
Mikasa nodded. After a brittle silence, she turned back towards the entrance of the Recreation Building.
"I should get back to the party, I need to thank Erwin again before I leave."
"Wait, you won't tell anyone about this, right?" Armin asked hurriedly. "Not even Eren."
Mikasa's mouth twisted, a glimmer of rebellion in her eyes. The her expression crumbled.
"Fine, I won't say anything. But if you ever do decide to trust your friends, remember that Eren and I are here for you."
Mikasa strode back towards the party, leaving Armin alone in the cold, weighing up the conversation.
He should be relieved – Mikasa would stay quiet. The triad was safe for now.
But at what cost?
Erwin
The rattle of a key in the front door made Erwin look up.
He set down the letter he was reading, trying to push its contents out of his mind. He headed into the hallway to find Armin already inside, placing his shoes by the door.
"What was the point in giving me my own key if you're still going to meet me at the door?" the librarian protested.
"I'm just happy to see you."
Erwin pulled his partner into a tight embrace. The warmth of his body and his familiar lavender scent melted some of the Commander's tension.
"Is Levi not here?" Armin asked, indicating the absence of the man's shoes beside the door.
"No. He and I were talking about the triad earlier, and we decided–" Erwin stopped when Armin froze up in his arms. "It's not bad news," he assured him quickly.
Walls, does he think I'm breaking up with him or something? Why does he always expect the worst?
Then again, Erwin couldn't really judge. He was constantly assessing situations for all the potential risks and problems. Even in his personal life.
He guided Armin into the sitting room and they sat down.
"Levi and I would like to spend time with you individually. Nothing sexual to start with, but it might make it easier for us to form separate relationships with you."
Armin's lips quirked. "Do you mean having dates?"
"Something like that." Erwin poured out the green tea he'd prepared a few minutes ago. "The plan is that we'll spend an hour together now, and then Levi will come over and swap with me. Is that ok with you?"
"Yeah, that sounds nice." Armin's face fell. "There's actually something I need to talk to you both about. Is it ok if we do that later when Levi gets here?"
Erwin agreed, resisting the urge to ask for details. He took a sip of tea and winced. He'd added lemon while it was steeping. The scent was pleasant, but the taste was a bit overpowering.
"The downside of these separate 'dates' is that you'll have to put up with my mediocre tea-making skills," he joked.
Armin grinned, tucking his legs underneath him on the couch. "That's ok. Nobody's perfect."
"How are your preparations going for the library event?" Erwin asked. The Head Librarian had updated him on the progress, but he hadn't spoken to Armin about it in a few days.
"Good, but there's still a few things left to organise before next week."
"And how's your temporary assistant doing?"
"Oh, Floch? He's been a huge help with everything! He's doing some of the smaller library duties too, so Emilia and I can focus on preparing for the event. It's a lot of extra pressure now that so many dignitaries are coming."
"I know," Erwin sighed. He gestured at the letter on the table he'd been reading earlier. "And now some politicians in Mitras are complaining it's not appropriate to invite diplomats to our military grounds."
He didn't mention the letter was from Alastair Forster – Floch's father, and the traditionalist who'd likely been behind the allegations made about Erwin and Levi a few weeks ago.
Erwin rubbed his temples, the edge of a headache prickling against his skin. Armin doesn't want to listen to me complaining about work…
"But never mind that, we're supposed to be relaxing." He picked up the teapot. "Do you want more tea?"
Armin placed his hand on his arm. "If it's worrying you, I don't mind listening."
"I'm not worried." Erwin gently brushed off his hand and poured more tea into their cups.
"You don't always need to act in control around me. It must be tiring enough doing that all day in your job."
"I don't-" Erwin began. But the protest died on his lips. He did do that around Armin.
He felt compelled to defend himself.
"I don't always act in control! I recall letting you boss me around that night of my birthday."
"But what about outside of the bedroom, or when we're not playing games?"
"I can do that."
"Alright, prove it. Take off your jacket."
Erwin almost choked on his mouthful of tea.
"What?"
"Don't worry, I'm not planning anything that Levi will murder us for."
Heart hammering, Erwin decided to trust him. He shrugged off his jacket while Armin stood up and walked around to the back of the couch.
The man's hands settled on his shoulders, and he kneaded them through the fabric of his shirt.
"Armin, you don't need to do that."
"You do it all the time for me. Just relax and take a break from being the Commander."
Still feeling guilty, Erwin obeyed. It wouldn't be a big deal to let Levi do this – but with Armin, the act left him starkly vulnerable. Wasn't the man's attraction to him partly based on his power and authority, after all? What if by shifting the dynamics like this, he lost interest in him?
But Armin's the one initiating this. I need to trust he knows what he wants.
The man's touch coaxed Erwin's muscles to unwind and surrender. His control slipped further away, but the edge of vulnerability softened into something tender and comfortable. His eyes drifted closed.
Erwin's thoughts drifted back to the engagement party last Sunday. He'd been disappointed not to get a chance to chat to Armin at it. Although Levi's attempt hadn't exactly gone well.
"Levi told me about your talk with Sasha at the party. Do you really think you'll both be stuck on babysitting duty for the rest of your lives?"
He'd hope for a laugh, but the motion of Armin's hands stalled. The man exhaled loudly.
"That conversation was so awkward. I kept thinking I'd say or do the wrong thing and make the others suspicious. And when Mikasa-" he paused, let out a frustrated breath, and continued. "This relationship is just so complicated Erwin. I can't even hang out with you and Levi in public as friends without worrying what people think."
There were too many things chasing around Erwin's head to verbalise. Instead he turned in his seat, took Armin's hand and guided him back to sit beside him.
"Is this triad putting a lot of strain on you and Levi?" Armin asked. "The two of you don't have to hide your own relationship anymore, but you're back to keeping secrets again because of me."
Erwin slid his arms around his partner, creating a protective barrier around him.
"Trust me, Armin. You're worth it."
"This relationship means so much to me. I just… I don't want to mess up what you and Levi already have together."
"You won't. We just need to keep communicating with each other, and being honest about our needs and boundaries. We've got a good chance of making this work."
Although, going public about the relationship will be another matter. Hopefully we've got plenty of time before we need to worry about that…
Levi
When Levi entered Erwin's quarters, his heart did a little somersault at the sight of his two partners snuggled up on the couch.
"I see you're having a nice time without me," he teased, strolling around the couch and ruffling Armin's hair. "When are you getting a haircut, brat?"
"The same time you learn some manners," Armin said.
Erwin disentangled himself from Armin. He picked up the teapot and headed towards the kitchenette area. "I'll make some fresh tea. Try not to kill each other while I'm gone."
Levi sank into the armchair opposite the librarian. "What did you get up to?"
"We just talked mostly. Erwin seems a bit stressed out about work." Armin fiddled with his empty teacup, tracing a finger around the rim. "I hope it's not a big deal, but I tried to help him relax by massaging his shoulders."
A flicker of envy rippled through Levi. He wished he'd been there to watch them. Not that he begrudged them touching without him, once they stayed away from anything sexual.
"I'm sorry I missed it. Didn't he try to be a gentleman and stop you?"
"Yes. But I wore him down after a lecture." A devious smirk crept over Armin's face.
He seems more confident when he meets us one-on-one... It's another great reason to be exploring these separate dates.
"So Arlert calls the shots when I'm not around, eh Commander?" Levi said as Erwin returned to the room.
Erwin placed the teapot back on the table, and gathered up his paperwork. "He's all yours now, Levi. Let's see how you manage to resist his sultry demands."
"Wait." Armin's fingers brushed the man's arm, stopping him from leaving. "I need to talk to you both first, remember?"
Erwin sank down on the couch beside Armin, staring at him expectantly. The librarian's earlier cheekiness vanished. He now stared down at his lap, hands twisting and flexing like agitated spiders.
Levi's gut tightened. What's so important that he wants both of us here?
To occupy himself, he poured out tea for them all, waiting for their partner to speak.
"Last Saturday night after we were together, I went for a walk in the grounds," Armin said, sounding like he'd rehearsed his words. "But I'd completely forgotten that Mikasa was proposing to Eren that night. I bumped into them, and… well… Mikasa saw the mark on my neck, and realised I'd been with someone earlier that night."
Levi released the breath he was holding. Why was Armin making such a big deal about this?
"Doesn't Mikasa already know you're sleeping with someone? You told us she respects your privacy about it."
"Yes. But that night, she kept staring at the t-shirt I was wearing. It was yours, Levi."
"Did she recognise it?"
Armin looked up to meet his gaze, his fingers a tangled web on his lap. "At first I wasn't sure. But at the engagement party, she asked me if I was sleeping with you."
Fuck. So that explains why she was glaring at me all night.
"You said no, right?"
"I – I tried. But I couldn't bring myself to lie to her."
"You didn't even try?"
Erwin leaned forward in his seat. "Let's stay calm about this–"
"What the hell did you say to her Armin?"
"She was worried I was being taken advantage of! So I had to reassure her. But I didn't give her any specific details, and I made her promise not to tell anyone," he added hurriedly.
Levi scrubbed his hands over his face and scalp. Shit. He grit his teeth, struggling not to raise his voice.
"So what, now she thinks we're fucking behind Erwin's back?"
Armin nodded, dropping his gaze to the steam billowing out of his teacup.
The is pretty damn bad alright. But it could be worse. At least Mikasa doesn't know anything about our triad…
He dearly wished Erwin would say something. The man's brow furrowed in concentration as he absorbed the unfolding discussion.
"Fine, let her think whatever she wants. I don't give a damn once she doesn't tell anyone." Levi picked up his teacup and took a sip. The scalding pain in his throat was a welcome distraction.
"I'm sorry, I completely messed up." Armin hunched forward, scraping his fingers through his hair.
Erwin rubbed the man's shoulder. "Don't worry darling. We'll figure this out."
"What if…" Armin shifted his posture, sitting back upright and glancing between both men. "What if we just told her the truth?"
Levi's stomach plummeted, like he'd just dropped from the sky in faulty ODM gear. From the look on Erwin's face, he was just as shocked.
"What?" he managed to choke out.
"I think if I explain the situation to Mikasa, we can trust her to keep it quiet. But we'd have to tell Eren too. It's not fair to expect her to keep it a secret from him."
"Great, why don't we announce it to the whole fucking Survey Corps?"
"You're overreacting! I'm only talking about telling Eren and Mikasa."
"Erwin, what do you think?" Levi demanded, hoping he could count on him to talk some sense into their partner.
Erwin looked between Armin on the couch beside him, and Levi across the table.
"I wasn't planning on telling anyone about the triad so soon. But I think to be fair to Armin, we should consider all possibilities–"
"You're siding with him?!"
Erwin rubbed his temples. "I'm not siding with anyone."
Bristling with restless energy, Levi surged to his feet and over to the window. He swiped back the curtain and surveyed the dark grounds. Then he pressed his forehead against the cool glass.
"Armin, how do we know we can trust your friends to keep their mouths shut? We'll be dragged through another investigation, another scandal–"
"I'm sure I can make Eren and Mikasa understand-"
How can you be certain of that?"
"Maybe we could all talk to them, and answer any questions they–"
"I'm not having a cosy chat with your friends about our private lives!"
"Well what's your solution Levi? Just ignore the whole thing and hope for the best?"
"Calm down, both of you." Erwin's voice was steady, but Levi heard the exasperation prickling underneath. "We're not solving anything by attacking each other."
Why the fuck isn't he telling Armin what a crazy idea this is?
"Go ahead and tell us your thoughts, and we'll listen." Erwin said. In the blurry reflection of the window, Levi saw him take Armin's hand.
"Ok. This is something I've been thinking about a lot over the last few days." The irritation was gone from Armin's tone, and now it rang with earnestness. "After looking back over our relationship, I've realised just how isolated I am. Do you know how many times I've wanted to get some outside advice about what's going on between us? I know I can talk to both of you, but I'm not sure that's enough."
His voice grew in confidence the longer he spoke, tinged with a conviction Levi had never heard from him before. "I agree that it's best not to go public with this for now. But since Mikasa's already suspicious, I'd like to take the opportunity to open up to her and Eren. They deserve to know the truth."
Doubts cracked Levi's resolve. This meant so much to Armin. What if he just gave in, and allowed him to tell his best friends? After all, Erwin already seemed to be considering it.
But if this goes wrong, it could tear our relationship to shreds.
What if Mikasa and Eren thought they were taking advantage of Armin, and reported them? Shame burned through him at the thought of being dragged through another investigation by the Military Relations Commission. Of everyone finding out about the triad. The shame and whispers and judgement from those who couldn't understand what it was like for three people to love each other.
It would be Erwin who would suffer most from all of it. Levi couldn't bear to put him through it so soon after the last investigation. They were still navigating their own relationship being made public, and the stealthy backlash from the traditionalist politicians. The news of a triad relationship would be a disaster if it came out too soon.
And even if Mikasa and Eren don't tell anyone, they might think the triad is a bad idea. What if they convince Armin to leave us?
Levi turned away from the window and back towards his partners. Both men were watching him expectantly. His choice settled like a rock in his chest.
"I'm sorry, Armin. But it's just too risky to tell anyone right now."
The librarian's confident stance wilted, like a plant left too long without water. He drooped forward with his face in his hands.
Erwin's gaze darted between both his partners. "Let's talk about this, I'm sure we can find a compromise."
"No, Levi's made his feelings clear." Armin's voice was low and resigned. "And he's right – telling Eren and Mikasa is a risk. But it's something I need to do in order to continue with this relationship."
Panic squeezed Levi's lungs. "What do you mean?"
"I love you both, but the way things are right now isn't sustainable for me. I think it's best if I take a break from this relationship."
Armin stood up, his hand reaching into his pocket.
Levi couldn't speak. Everything was moving too fast, like he was in a bizarre dream where nothing made sense.
I don't understand… I did this to protect our relationship. To keep him with us.
Erwin stood too, and reached out a placating hand. "Wait, don't leave. We can-"
"Please Erwin, I need some space to figure this out. We can talk about it another time."
Armin didn't look at Levi again before walking out. But he did take a moment to pull something out of his pocket, and drop it onto the table.
A key.
Notes:
Oh god it's crazy to be FINALLY be sharing this plot development! I had this planned for over a year now.
We're into the end phase of the story, there's 4 chapters left and still some big twists left to come. The next chapter should wrap up two of the subplots. (Yes we'll finally see that library event I've been hyping up for the last 10 chapters! Also, a certain redheaded Eldian devil...)
I'd love to hear your thoughts!