HAYMITCH
It had been 10 days since we had arrived in District 13. The summary of the past few days was: Cinna, Portia, and Peeta's prep team were dead. Effie was apparently held as a prisoner at the Capitol. Peeta, Johanna, Enobaria, and Annie were held by the Capitol, though we didn't know in what condition or if any of them were already dead. District 12 was gone, only 800 people managed to save themselves. Katniss was in the hospital on medication and mentally unstable. Our reunion on the hovercraft was explosive and reproachful, traces of his scratches still etched across my face. I deserved it anyway, I had abandoned Peeta.
The day after we arrived, Plutarch arranged a meeting for me to meet all the district leaders, allies, and high command of the 13th district.
"We were in the command room, some familiar faces and some not so familiar. After the introductions, Plutarch took the lead to discuss the state of each district and what was the next step. They were counting on Katniss to quickly agree to be the face of the rebellion, but I was sure it wouldn't be that easy, especially since we didn't save conversations continued, I barely paid attention, not knowing what my role was in all of this.
-I have been informed that Leila Brightlock's surgery has gone well. She will be a good element to have on our side- intervened the president Alma Coín.
-I wouldn't count on her, she's not going to help us. Not unless we have something to pressure her to do it- Plutarch replied.
-We have saved her, and her family too, I think she will be grateful to us-Fulvia, Plutarch's assistant, intervened.
-Not grateful enough to collaborate against Snow- Plutarch said again with a tired voice.
-Her family was well known in the district for being faithful supporters of the Capitol. I agree with Plutarch, we have to keep that girl away from our plans.- Commander Paylor said emphatically.
-Things being this way, she and her family will be taken as prisoners of war. We can't risk having a supporter of the Capitol among us- Coin decided.
-Why don't we let the girl recover and make the decision? She, after all, could have ruined our plans in the arena but she didn't, what else does it matter to give her a chance- I intervened. I was doing it to pay off Chaff's debt, she spared his life twice and helped him with the mutts. It wasn't her fault that Brutus killed him. I saw everyone's doubt and Plutarch's worried face. I knew that he was hiding something regarding her.
- I agree with Haymitch, we'll give her a chance, maybe we'll get her to help us with something. If you allow me, I will take care of instructing the medical personnel in charge of her, so that they can monitor her properly.
- Go ahead Plutarch, but if the girl makes a mistake against any citizen of 13, I will hold you responsible.- Coin sentenced. This did not please Plutarch but he accepted.
Once the meeting was over, Plutarch asked me to speak privately and what a surprise he had for me. Apparently in the 13th district both the manufacture and consumption of alcohol was prohibited and I would have to undergo a detox. Much to my regret I had to accept, I had no other choice."
I felt a new retching come, I ran to the bathroom to vomit bile, I had nothing left in my stomach. My new life was summed up in having my head stuck in the toilet, shaking uncontrollably, constant fevers and terrible hallucinations. The withdrawal was killing me and the medications they gave me to help with the symptoms were not doing much good. Worst of all was dealing with myself, the memories, and all the negative feelings that came with them. I was almost isolated, I had a room to myself, I only had the company of the medical staff and Plutarch who constantly came to visit me and tell me the news.
Here came a new gag as I felt a pair of cold hands on my neck and another that brushed my hair from my face. When I finished vomiting I saw out of the corner of my eye who was next to me. Leila. She got up and wet two pieces of compresses and then put them on my neck and forehead.
-Lean back against the wall. These compresses will help bring down your fever. She-she told me softly.
-Aside from maiming people, did the capitol teach you first aid?- I said sarcastically. But she didn't answer me. She left the bathroom and returned a few minutes later with a glass of water.
-Take small sips- she told me, handing me the glass.
- Are you also an expert in vomit? - I asked her again in the same tone. She just looked at me and sighed. It irritated me to have her here, who did she think she was acting like a good person? Perhaps Plutarch had already mentioned her conditions for not locking her in a cell and this was all an act, like in the arena. The brat started to leave the bathroom but at the door she stopped, and looking at the floor she spoke.
- I'm sorry Haymitch.
-What thing?
-The death of Chaff, the boy, and well the rest of your friends.
-Peeta is not dead.
-No, I know, it's worse because he's in the hands of the Capitol- she spoke grimly and shrugged.
-You know what's worse, seeing you here safe and not Peeta.-I told her with anger.
-I know and I'm sorry.- She answered me in a whisper and left.
Day 12 since we arrived in the thirteenth district. Katniss's current state was still the same and according to Plutarch she refused to collaborate with them. Something that had frustrated more than one. I kept writhing in my misery, dreaming of a drop of alcohol, I didn't care what kind. Sometimes I would see Leila pass by my door, walking through the halls, it didn't last long before I saw her come back from where she came accompanied by a not very happy nurse. From what I was hearing in the halls, everyone was scared of her and not happy to have her in the district. Yes, unlike in the capitol, Leila was hated here.
Day 15, I guess it was already midnight, there wasn't much movement outside the room. I was shaking uncontrollably and was too cold. I didn't want to call any of the nurses, I hated being dependent on anyone, and I didn't like the people in this district at all. That's where I saw her go by again. Leila. This was the fifth time she had passed.
-You have me dizzy with your comings and goings. Aren't you supposed to be in your room?- I told her out loud so that she would listen to me. Maybe with that she would go back to her room instead of making rounds, she had my nerves on edge. But I achieved the opposite effect, she entered my room.
-I can't stay there, I'm going crazy in this place- she complained.
-Well, this is better than being tortured like the others must be suffering now.- I replied scathingly, she lowered her gaze guiltily. I was a scoundrel for making her feel guilty about something she had no control over but I didn't care about her feelings.
-I'm sorry-she apologized. How irritating to see her not defend herself. She looked up at me and came closer reaching out her hand to touch me.
-Don't you dare - I threatened her
-You have a fever again,- she whispered.
-Don't tell me, you discovered that water is wet-I said sarcastically again.
-Can I help you?- she asked me.
-Yes, get out of my room- she nodded but before leaving she grabbed one of the blankets that was in the closet and gave it to me. How annoying she was, no one was asking for her help.
Today marks 18 days since I abandoned Peeta. Plutarch had just left my room, without telling me much news, everything was the same, the districts at war, Katniss hiding in any corner and nothing about Peeta and the others. I had noticed that his visits were always made at different times, never repeated, and I was able to get an idea of why, when Leila once again entered my room later in the day.
-So how do you feel, Haymitch?- she asked me with a nervous smile.
- Wonderfully as you can see - I replied - what do you want? why don't you leave me alone- I finished tiredly. She looked at me guiltily before speaking.
-A favor, please,- she said pleadingly. I couldn't help but burst out laughing. What a nerve of this girl. We saved her life and she still dared to ask for more-yes, I know. You don't owe me anything and you don't have to help me but it's important- she begged me again
-And what is that, so important, that the perfect Leila wants?- I asked sarcastically.
-Talk to Plutarch. I know he visits you but I never know what time and it's important that I talk to him. When I tried to send him a message, I think they didn't give it to him because he didn't come to see me -she told me seriously. So Plutarch was avoiding her.
- And what is so important that you want to talk to him? - I asked her curiously. She looked at me doubtfully before answering.
- my family, that's all- I knew she was being honest. Strange that she would want to talk about her family if they were here in 13 and even stranger that Plutarch was avoiding her just because of that.
-I'll see what I can do, I don't promise anything- I said indifferently
-Okay, thank you,- she smiles widely. she was going to say something else but she shut up and left. Well, what she was asking of me was not a big thing and I understood her, if my family were here I would also want to know about them. It's bizarre though that she hasn't seen them yet.
The next day when Plutarch came to see me, I passed Leila's message to him, although he seemed to dismiss it as important, I knew he was being evasive with the girl. Well, I couldn't do anything else, if he was avoiding her, he would have his reasons. It was early in the morning and I knew I wasn't going to sleep, I was tired of being in this bed, and I didn't feel as bad as other days, so I decided to get up and go see something other than these four walls. Everything was silent and dimly lit, the patients in the rooms next to mine were sleeping. What a luxury, one I had given up many years ago, unless I had some good liquor in my hand. I kept walking through the corridors when I saw Leila, sitting on the floor, with her eyes closed, she seemed to be meditating because I saw that she was murmuring something.
-Hey! I passed the message to Plutarch, and he said that he would come to see you these days.- I snapped. She was startled, well apparently she wasn't meditating but sleeping. She looked at me confused so I repeated what I had just told her.
-Thanks Haymitch- I shrugged, I hadn't done much anyway.
-They have taken away the bed that you now sleep on the floor- I told her a little surly
-I didn't realize that I had fallen asleep,- she said smiling, -and you? shouldn't you be sleeping?.
-nah, I've already spent a lot of time in bed
-Are you going to have a long time here?
-who knows. and you? your operation was supposed to have been a success, why do they still have you as a patient wandering everywhere?
-I'm still in recovery and re-education of my leg. Apparently in 10 days they are going to operate again to make sure that everything returns to its previous state. So there is no case that they release me from the hospital.- she finished shrugging her shoulders. I sat next to her, I hadn't walked much but I felt exhausted.
- I see.- We were silent for a while. It was weird talking to her. There were many things that I questioned about her, but I wasn't sure she was going to answer everything, so I started with the easy one- What will your plan be once you get out of the hospital?
-What do you mean?- she looked at me confused.
-Well, some people would like you to be part of the cause and help in it.- I told her. She opened her green eyes in horror and denied- What are you afraid of? you are no longer in the capitol and your family is here safe.
- Haymitch, I'm never going to be part of this. All this is wrong. What you did was wrong. Going against the capitol is complete madness.- she told me nervously, avoiding my gaze. I could only stare at her in disbelieving rage. What kind of person could think this way after seeing the horrors that President Snow had subjected us to.
-How can you think like that? Perhaps everything that the president has done to your district seems good to you but people are starving everywhere while they live in opulence. - I was trying to control my voice to not yell at her, she really was Snow's lap dog. Leila became even more nervous and began to have that tic that I had already seen in her many times, smoothing out the invisible wrinkles in her hospital clothes.
-It doesn't seem right to me but there is an order in things for a reason. The consequences are going to be worse when the capitol submits the districts again- she answered me. Wow, she's been brainwashed.
-This time the capitol is not going to win,- I told her firmly. She looked into my eyes with anguish and unconsciously began to skin the fingers of her right hand. Now that I looked at her hands they were a mess, raw around several fingernails.
-You don't know that. The capitol never loses. President Snow is very powerful and he has people with a lot of power and influence, no one can escape them- Leila said, still anguished. I don't know why but I gave her a soft slap on her hands to make her stop what she was doing, she was going to rip a finger off from her if she continued like this. She stopped looking at me and focused on staring at her hands.
-Then what should all the districts do? kneel down, ask for forgiveness and clemency. Surely Snow will be merciful, he will forget everything and improve for the future- I said sarcastically
-I don't know, Haymitch. I don't know anything about rebellions, I just know that many innocent lives are being sacrificed in this war and I don't know if the sacrifice will really be worth it in the end. And why do you think that if the rebels win things will change? And if it's worse than Snow?
-It won't be like that, Leila. The rebels understand and have lived in oppression, we are not going to repeat the same mistakes.
-Do you really trust those people completely?
-No, it would be very naive to trust them completely.
-Good because you shouldn't.
-You trust Plutarch right?
-Not completely but at least he kept his word.
-what are you…
-Miss Brightlock, what are you doing here?!- yelled a not very friendly nurse from district 13- the doctors have spent great resources with you so that you ruin everything, ungrateful girl, I already told you to stay in your room- Leila jumped up, and that must have hurt her quite a bit from the look on her face and the hiss that escaped her. She didn't answer anything to the nurse, she just nodded and headed towards her room.
I also decided to go back to my room. The talk with Leila had irritated me enough to exhaust me. Plutarch was right about her, she was a faithful follower of the capitol and even being safe here she wouldn't do anything against them. What a frustrating woman. I didn't understand how someone could be so blind. I only agreed with her on one thing, many lives were being sacrificed in this war and the sooner we reacted the better, and for that we needed Katniss.