HAYMITCH

I was in the arena when I heard the sound that announced the start of the games. I ran as fast as I could towards the forest. I wanted to get away from the cornucopia, and leave the other tributes behind, but they kept only following me. I ran and ran but felt them getting closer. Suddenly I heard a piercing scream. It was my mother's voice. I called her but she didn't hear me, she was just screaming and I ran following her voice, but I stumbled, when I turned to see what had made me fall, I saw my brother's body bathed in blood. I shook him but he didn't respond. I tried to help him but it was useless. I only saw blood gushing out but I couldn't find the source where it came from to stop it. My mother's screams brought me back to reality. I took my brother in my arms and ran again, but with each step I took my feet became heavier and then an intense heat took over the arena. I felt the sun burn my skin.

Maysilee appeared in front of me, with blood pouring from her neck and hate on her face, she lunged to attack me, but I could barely dodge. I tried to talk to her, I apologized but she just looked at me with anger and kept lashing out. I ran even more until I finally managed to reach where my mother was, a beautiful meadow with flowers, but it was too late. She was dead, I put my dead brother next to her. Unexpectedly more bodies began to appear around me, that of my girlfriend, my fellow tributes, Mayselee, the 46 children I mentored, Chaff and Peeta. Everyone's eyes on me with hate, I had let them die.

I felt the tears run down my cheeks, and an oppressive pain in my chest that did not let me breathe. I wanted them all gone but they were still here. A sweet smell invaded my nose, it came from the few flowers that were not stained with blood.

-It's okay, Haymitch, everything will be fine, calm down-my dead mother whispered to me, I felt her arms comforting me even though her body was still on the ground motionless. She continued repeating more soothing words and started humming a song I didn't know. Then I fell into unconsciousness.

I started to wake up, I could hardly open my eyes, they felt heavy. I was even more tired than when I went to sleep. When I managed to focus on reality, I saw something unusual in my room or I mean my bed. I was comfortable in someone's arms. When I raised my head I found Leila's peacefully sleeping face. What the hell is she doing here? I jerked back from her arms, waking her up.

If it wasn't for the fact that I caught her by the arm she would have fallen face first off the bed. She steadied herself on her feet looking at me with wide eyes. I looked at her seriously and angry, she had no right to come here without my permission.

-You had a nightmare and a fever and I,- she tried to excuse herself, but only nonsensical babbling came out. Suddenly her face began to turn bright red and not only that but her neck and ears as well. The poor thing was embarrassed and it took all my self control to keep my expression serious. I don't know why it amused me to see her so embarrassed and nervous. She started smoothing her clothes and just rushed out of the room unable to say anything coherent. I burst out laughing, perhaps this would serve her as a lesson not to go where she hadn't been called.

Two days passed and no sign of Leila. When I felt well, I would walk through the halls, but I didn't run into the girl, maybe she was in her room. It was strange not to see her wandering around in the day or night. I passed by her room, she was in bed playing to throw a spoon in the air with her hand and catching it with the other.

-So this is what you do when you're not taking advantage of sleeping people? - I said sarcastically. She was startled and her blush came back up to her face. Yes, it was fun to mortify her.

-I wasn't taking advantage, I wasn't doing anything indecent.- she said embarrassed and blushed even more.

-indecent? - I repeated between laughs. How innocent to hear her talk like that. She didn't answer me, she just avoided my gaze and stared at the spoon in her hands. I entered her room and saw the tray of half-finished food.-Aren't you going to eat more?-she shook her head -well, we shouldn't waste it- I took her plate and started to eat what she had left. Yuck! This tasteless food was even worse cold.

-They serve a lot of food here,- she excused herself. I nearly choked with laughter.

-Does this seem like a lot to you? It barely takes away my hunger a little.

-Well, enjoy it then,- she told me, smiling.

- I guess you don't want the pudding either- she denied- what do you have against desserts?

-Nothing-she shuddered and shrugged. She was lying.

-So going back to the conversation from the other day- she shifted uncomfortably- what do you plan to do once you leave the hospital?

- I don't know.- she looked down.

- you are going to ask to return to the Capitol - she looked at me horrified

-No, of course not

-ah! So your wonderful Capitol isn't that great but you're not going to help the rebellion either.

-I didn't say it's wonderful. You don't understand. And why do I only have two options?- she answered me frustrated

-Which other do you propose?

-I only ask not to be in the middle of any field. I don't want to participate in this -she said softly. I sighed, I didn't really understand.

-Not even for your family would you do it?

-For my family I have done and would do many things but I can't keep doing it anymore, Haymitch.- she answered me in a gloomy tone. I felt uncomfortable so I changed the course of the conversation.

-Okay, so I changed my question, what are you going to do here after you get out of the hospital?- she looked at me confused again.

-I don't follow you, what do you mean?

-Well, everyone has an occupation in the district, what are you going to do?

-I don't know, I hadn't thought of that- she frowned.

- Apart from the obvious, what are you good for?

-Well apart from the obvious, I'm not good at anything,- she said softly.

- What was your talent for the Capitol?

- music. I played the piano and sang. I liked it but not anymore.

-That's not a problem, here having that talent is useless. - she laughed. I think it was the first time I saw her really laugh.

-I've run out of ideas- She said, shrugging her shoulders, still laughing. I chuckled.

-Before the games I imagine you dreamed of doing something else, right?-she remained thoughtful and all traces of joy disappeared

-No, I don't think so,- she replied in a whisper.

-Your district is textiles. I assume you know how to sew?

-barely and not very well.

- what did you do in your free time then?

-Training, Haymitch, I was always training for the games,-she said sadly.

-It doesn't matter, here they will surely find you a job- I wanted to downplay it and lighten the conversation but I was not very successful. she still continued with a sad face.

- and you?

-Me what?

- What did you dream of doing before the games? - I hesitated to answer but the girl had answered everything I asked her.

- nothing, I knew I was going to work in the mines like the vast majority of people in my district

-That doesn't sound like much fun. Did you ever wish for something more?

-No, that was the only option as long as Snow was in power- she sighed in exasperation.

-It's Plutarch, isn't it? - she asked me angrily

-What's the matter with him? - I also responded abruptly

- he is forcing you to talk to me and convince me to participate in whatever he is planning against the Capitol- I was left open-mouthed by the accusation

- No one forces me to do anything, Leila. I'm not Plutarch's lap dog. - I said furiously. I got up and left her room. Who did she think she was to accuse me of something like that?

I was really annoyed by Leila's accusation. I did not go around with those tricks to achieve anything. It was evident that she was not going to cooperate in anything. I punished myself for being so curious and going to her room looking for I don't know what. Because nothing of value came out of it. At times she made me feel sorry for her but she seemed quite happy with her situation, so what did I care about? Plutarch didn't show up all day, that meant that everything was the same. Late at night Leila showed up at my door again. Now what did she want?

-Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. - Her apology took me by surprise but I didn't answer, I just nodded. But she continued - sometimes I don't know who is being honest or not - I didn't blame her for that.

-You trust but at the same time you don't trust Plutarch, how is that possible?

- Because I had no other option- she told me sadly- well I'll let you rest, good night Haymitch.- Leila left. She was strange, that's the only conclusion I could draw from her.