[July 4th, 1997.]
"My dear Harry,
As I pen these words, my heart overflows with emotions I cannot fully express. I have failed you, my boy. Failed to be there for you when you needed me the most. The weight of my responsibilities as a general in a war overshadowed the time I should have spent with you, watching you grow into the remarkable young man you are today.
As you read this, I may have already embarked on my next great adventure. It was never my intention for you to read this letter unless the direst of circumstances forced your hand. But here we are.
I know I let you down in many ways. The lives of Lily and James, your aunt and uncle, Tom and Sirius – they all could have been saved, and perhaps Tom would not have become the monster he is today. But know this, my dear boy: everything I did, every risk I took, was for you.
I had hoped for you to have a life of happiness, one devoid of the chaos and turmoil of war. But my efforts have been in vain. I have failed you in ways that haunt me to this day. Even my choices for the DADA position proved to be ill-fated.
But through my shortcomings, I have come to a realization – a realization that Fate has already chosen your path. You are the Chosen One, and everything I did to keep you safe and provide you with a normal life has only hindered our fight against Lord Voldemort.
And so, my brave boy, I leave the choice in your hands. The book you hold is enchanted, capable of holding all my memories and thoughts about magic. It is a refined version of what Tom did with his diary, and it will grant you access to immense power. But choose wisely, my boy, for it will change your view of the world and your understanding of the war.
Your purpose, should you choose to accept it, will not only be to destroy the items we sought but also to finish what we started – to vanquish Tom Marvolo Riddle and end the reign of Lord Voldemort.
I implore you, my dear Harry, do not let regret become your constant companion like it has become mine. Live and Love, my boy. And remember, our loved ones never leave us. I will always be with you in spirit.
Yours old and proud friend,
Albus.
P. S. - I hope Fawkes has brought you other gifts that bring you joy."
As Harry sat in the second-floor bedroom of 4 Privet Drive, tears dripped from his eyes.
' Ever the eccentric,' he smiled sadly as he looked at the book Fawkes had brought him. It had a bright blue cover with silver stars and gold moon patterns on it. Like the pattern of a robe, he had seen Dumbledore wearing.
As he turned to look at Fawkes, he heard a trill and saw the majestic bird perching beside Hedwig, who seemed to be giving the larger bird an annoyed look. On the floor of his room lay another parcel, wrapped in a cloth that appeared to be made from the burned curtains of his dormitory.
It was only the start of summer vacation, and he had returned to the house as per the older wizard's wishes for him to spend time there until his seventeenth birthday.
He slowly left his seat on his bed and sat down on the floor before he slowly unwrapped the cloth and opened the box it had been covering.
' A journal,' he thought wryly shaking his head, ' What had I expected?'
He removed it, before setting it aside and looking at the other items in the box. It had a vial filled with a colourless liquid with a slip wrapped around it.
The slip read, ' Phoenix tears that Fawkes has donated over the years. Enough to suffice for a lifetime if managed properly. The vial is spatially expanded. Protect from direct curses.'
The only other thing that was in the box was another journal.
"Three books that will be very useful, a vial filled with your tears," Harry said softly, "Thanks Fawkes. Do you want something to eat or drink?"
There was a sad trill in a regretful tone from the bird of resurrection and as Harry looked into Fawkes' black beady eyes, he understood that it was the last time Harry would see the beautiful bird.
The bird gently glided down to Harry's shoulders and gave an affectionate peck to Harry and he asked, his voice cracking, "Will I ever see you again?"
He was answered by a hopeful trill as he felt the warmth of Fawkes bursting into flames, leaving him and Hedwig alone. The warmth and hopeful feeling died and the hollowness that had consumed his existence after Dumbledore's death filled him again, he fell back slowly on the bed. The bed creaked due to his weight.
He lay there for a long time, staring into the nothingness of the ceiling. Feeling lonely after stewing in his thoughts, he thought of talking to Hedwig but he remembered Dumbledore's words about his loved ones never leaving you.
He cleared his throat, closed his eyes and said to nobody in particular.
"I don't know whether you are watching me right now, but if you are, mum, dad, I want you to know I love you. And I am grateful that I am the son of brilliant people like you," Harry did not know why it felt so right saying the words, but he felt something in him telling him that it was a good thing he was doing, "Sirius," the name made him feel ill with regret and love, he smiled wistfully, "I never really had a chance to truly know you."
The words sounded bitter in his mouth, and fresh tears fell as he continued, "I sometimes imagine myself with all of you. Mum, dad, you and me, what could have been, had there been no Voldemort. How we would go to quidditch matches together, how mum would fret over me, how dad would buy me clothes, how mum would bake me a cake on my birthday, how we would play pranks, etc. Maybe I would be an animagus too."
His body shook as he inhaled air and wiped the tears using his sleeves, before continuing, "In a few weeks, I will become an adult.
I hate that I never had what others have. Ron and Hermione, I have always been jealous of them, having siblings and parents. It makes me wonder if I would have had a brother too. Maybe a sister?"
He continued, "I never had a chance to be a child, be happy and it all always comes down to Voldemort. I hate him, I hate all who support him.
And I want justice. The ministry made me bleed for telling the truth, they don't care about justice or about doing the right thing.
They cannot give me justice so I will get it through war," Harry decided, "If it isin my destiny to kill or be killed, then what does it matter how many I kill to live."
He would be the one to live, if Fate wanted to choose his path then he would walk it but he would refuse to fall by anything other than his own choice.
He opened his eyes and saw Hedwig looking at his prone form with concern.
He leapt off the bed and picked the journals off the ground. Both of them were covered with leather.
' Dragonhide,' he corrected himself.
He opened the notebook and saw scribbling on it.
Order Of The Phoenix:
This is a list of the active members of the Order:
Minerva McGonagall
Remus Lupin
Nymphadora Tonks
Kingsley Shacklebolt
Molly Weasley
Arthur Weasley
Bill Weasley
Charlie Weasley
Fleur Delacour
Alastor Moody
Sturgis Podmore
Hestia Jones
Daedalus Diggle
Elphias Doge
Fred & George Weasley
Severus Snape
The last name made Harry want to scream in anger, Dumbledore trusted too much and too easily. He trusted Peter, and Harry's parents paid the price.
He trusted Harry to learn Occlumency, and Sirius paid the price. He trusted Snape and paid the same price himself.
He turned the page and saw another list:
Death Eaters:
Inner circle:
Lestranges
Malfoys
A. Rookwood
S. Snape
Carrow Twins
Notts
Travers
Affiliated:
Parkinsons
Greengrasses
Mulciber
Rowle
Rosier
Quite a few other pureblood families.
Acquired help:
Golgomanth(Giants)
Izaikus(Acromantula)
Fenrir Greyback(Warewolves)
Dementors
The list had chilled his bones. They were heavily outnumbered by Voldemort's forces.
' We are losing,' the thought made his stomach turn.
It was a clear thing really, Dumbledore's death along with the ministry's ineffective policies even after Fudge the green ostrich had been sacked, displayed a decisive and brutal move against the order.
He turned the page again and saw Dumbledore's writing on the parchment again.
It held mostly stray thoughts and speculations. Thoughts that seemed to be chased and abandoned with fervour by Dumbledore.
A collaboration between the Order and the Ministry had been speculated but had been immediately dismissed. The reasons being corruption, general incompetence and the simple presence of many spies that would leave the Order open to espionage.
Installation of a minister candidate had been speculated but again dismissed due to a lack of candidates. Only a fairly neutral person would be allowed and Amelia Bones had been the only candidate that would have worked but she had refused Dumbledore rudely when he had suggested it. She refused to work for the man who had gotten his brother and wife murdered, leaving her niece orphaned.
Harry's mind crashed to a halt as he was reminded of the auburn-haired Hufflepuff girl. She was alone just like him due to Voldemort killing Amelia Bones. The same girl who had been taunted by Goyle and Crabbe.
' He will pay for all his crimes. Just like all of the rest,' Harry seethed thinking about Voldemort and his death eaters.
It was an hour or two later when he finished reading the journal and the grim realization that Voldemort was winning and by a large margin too.
They needed to take out a large portion of the enemy and do it soon.
' Take out,' Harry thought bitterly, ' Seems too benign a word to describe a murder.'
He looked at the second journal that Dumbledore had left him and opened it. It was filled with numbers and strange symbols. There were graphs and diagrams sprinkled here and there as well.
He put it down since he did not understand most of it anyways and finally picked the book he had been most interested to pick up.
The blue journal had no pages similar to a prop dummy. He read what was written on it, " Albus Dumbledore's Guide to Magic Most Amazing."
As he finished reading the words aloud, his vision faded.