I still don't feel like I'm a spectre. After my work stopping Saren and his reaper master sovereign, delaying the robotic menace, I thought something would change. A sense of pride perhaps. Nothing inside me has changed. While I do enjoy the wiggle room my status provides me, I am in no means free. The mission handed to me from the council is to make contact with an unknown insect race. It has been six months and I haven't made any progress. Lots of people believe they are a fairy tale, if they even heard of them. a few believe it's a story to scare off would be explorers from the galaxy's vast resources. I'm starting to believe the council sent me off on a fool's errand.

The photograph of my former crew sitting on my desk calls my attention. Not only has the mission been quiet, but the ship also seems less lively. Garrus was offered a high-ranking position in c-sec. He deserved it. Tali returned to her fleet, completing her pilgrimage. Wrex and ********* are living on Tuchunka. I asked how things were for them. I was worried the radiation would be too much for ********* and told him I would pick him up if he needed me too. ********* said he is strangely fine. Better actually and making some progress. The ship feels empty without him. God I miss his cooking.

We attempted to stay in contact with each other, however the galactic time zones made communication an issue. The conversations slowly died down. Liara has stayed on the normandy with me. A living reminder of the good ole times. She doesn't have strong ties to other families and didn't want to leave for several reasons. I should invite her up.

"Liara could you…" the room violently threw me around. It felt like the worst earthquake possible. On a space ship? A few of the things in my office fell and broke. What the hell was that?

"Normandy is under attack. I repeat the normandy is under attack. This is not a drill" Joker's voice notifies the ship crew.

I pull myself off the ground and quickly gear up head to toe. I'm about to hightail it to the cockpit when another large shock hits the normandy. A hull breach definitely. I grab a helmet and magnetic boots. The crew are running to the lifepods as they are trained to do. The elevator is out. I took the long way with the stairs which no one really used. When my eyes saw the damage, I knew the ship was toast. Now I have to convince the joker that. The emergency mass effect fields hold the air where it can. The roof of the galaxy map room is completely gone. The magnetic boots hold me to the floor as I slowly head for Joker. I safely made it to the pilot. He begs me to let him try to save the normandy. Even if he is the best pilot in the fleet, there is no way of getting back.

Joker does not have a full space suit like I do. He has a little respiratory mask only for emergencies. With his bone condition he will have to carefully go through the map room. The exposure to cosmic radiation will need to be limited. He's going to have to run.

"We go on three, one… two… three!" The boots slow me down. I take about ten steps while Joker is already across to the other side. I can see him yelling to go faster. Sound doesn't travel in a vacuum. Another shake disconnects one boot from the floor. My eyes widened. I'm still secure as long as one foot is on the floor. Something large delivers a tremendous amount of energy. The force throws me off the ship. I'm floating threw space. Remember your training. Don't panic. The suit has a tracking device and enough air for 30 minutes. Plenty of time for a drone to find me.

"Ugh" something hits my side. A small amount of air escapes my lungs. I try to inhale, but it is exceedingly difficult. I look down and see a puncture. Not good. It's just a guess but with this leak I only have 10 minutes of air left tops. I'm floating away from the normandy. My body feels uncomfortable. Unlike anything I felt before. I oddly feel flushed. The shipwrecked normandy is getting smaller and smaller. Oh god is this really it? Am I dyi…

SPLAT!

I see blurry flashes of a dark haired woman. Too blurry to make anything else out. I'm in an excruciating amount of pain and unable to scream. I close my weary eyes and open them. The pain is much less and my vision is a little clearer. The final time I open my eyes, I can move my body. I feel my face. My facial hair is slightly longer than I remember. I must have been in recovery for at least a couple of weeks. I get up. A woman's voice informs me the station is under attack and directs me to a locker with a gun. A firearm in a hospital? A firearm I've never seen before using something called thermal clips? Where am I?

I fight my way through security mechs. I heard about this. Private companies use these sometimes in remote parts of the galaxy. These ones have been hacked and are targeting anyone in their sights. I aim for the chest. Normally I'd go for the head, but the new pistol's recoil is unfamiliar. After a few shots I get the feel for it and remove the thinking caps.

I am directed by the woman further inwards. I come across a dark-skin man throwing biotic blasts at mechs. He sees me and appears to recognize me. He has a shocked look on his face. I get to cover next to him. I learned his name is Jacob, I try to get more information. He said to get to safety first then I will answer all his questions.

A little while later we come across a man named Wilson. I remember hearing his voice. We pick him up and head over to the shuttle and find a stunning black haired woman in white. She shots Wilson point blank. I raise my gun at her. Jacob stands in the middle.

"What the hell was that for Miranda?" Jacob yells.

"Wilson sold us out. Gave away key information in exchange for money his next of kin will be receiving" she said.

"Who are you people? You are not alliance" I ask. She said she will answer any question I have. I reluctantly agree. Answers in a shuttle are better than answers in a burning space station. Once we are safe, she conducts a series of questions to determine my mental health. I pass with flying colors. When the tests are done Jacob lets it out, they are Cerberus. I know them. The alliance views them as a terrorist organization. Public reception is mixed. Some believe they are the firm arm humanity needs while others see them as horrendous monsters. I lean towards the latter, however the alliance's hands aren't so clean either.

I ask "Why aren't I with the alliance?"

"Shepard… you were declared killed in action. They could not find your body. Cerberus spent billions of credits and well… two years building you back up" Miranda said.

Two years? TWO YEARS?! I've been gone for two years? What would my mom think? Oh god what did I miss? How am I alive? What happened to everyone else? What do these people want with me?

"Why?"

"The illusive man will explain" Miranda said.

He's real? Alliance intel believed he was a placeholder, several different people using the title to generate confusion. An effective old school tactic. I take time to process what I'm told. I ask them about the state of the galaxy, the reapers, anything that pops into my head which they can answer. I find no comfort. I still think this is a dream.

Miranda tries explaining to me what they did. She did the best she could but I couldn't understand. I'm a solider, not a cyberneticist. The scarring and cybernetics make it hard to look in a mirror. I'm told they'll heal hopefully. To pass the time, she performs a variety of tests. Afterwards, I try to turn off my mind and shut everything out. I rest, hoping to wake up in a real hospital with family and friends.

Jacob shakes my shoulder to awaken me. I was asleep for 6 hours and woke up starving. He offers me a nutrient bar. I'm reluctant to take it until he takes a bite. Not poison. Miranda mentions poison will be unlikely to affect due to a synthetic liver. That includes alcohol. FUCK.

We dock at a space station, and I am directed to a communications room. The space goes dark. Lights fill the room and I see him. The leader of Cerberus. The illusive man. An older man. He has silver gray hair, unnatural blue eyes, and he wears an expensive suit. He calmly sits in a chair and explains the reasons for my resurrection and how human colonies are disappearing. The alliance has been ignoring them in favor of helping aliens with their issues in order to build up their reputation. While I support aiding our new alien allies, humans keep the alliance running and have to be protected, not cast aside when it's convenient. I remember the council trying to bench me.

I ask him about the whereabouts of my former crew. My mother and Captain Anderson remain in service. Kaiden and Ashley have been reassigned and are together. Garrus was last seen on Omega, a former asteroid mining turned criminal city. Tali is presumed to be with her people. Wrex became the leader of clan Urdnot.

"And ********* is…." the illusive man said.

"Errrghhhh" I let out.

"Is something wrong?" he asks.

"No. no. it is fine. Go ahead" As infuritating as he can be, I wonder what he has been up to. He is not the kind of guy to sit on his ass all day like my pilot.

The illusive man takes a drag of his undoubtedly expensive cigarette and says "It is too soon to tell. He is quite an anomaly. He has been living with clan urdnot while you were sleeping. ********* has made moves that forces Cerberus to strategize new alternatives, however it appears *********'s involvement on Tuchanka will permanently alter the balance of galactic power"

"What could he have possibly done?"