I got inspired to write this short little story after reading the newest Skulduggery book "Bad Magic". In it Skulduggery asks Valkyrie if his facade is wearing a "droopy moustasche" and she says "no", which disappoints him. So I was thinking "Wouldn't it be funny to write a fan-fic where he gets his wish fullfilled and he teases Valkyrie at the same time?"

Hope you guys enjoy this! Please leave a review and tell me what you thought :)

Skulduggery Pleasant and his partner Valkyrie Cain sat in his Bentley Continental scouting a house a short distance away where a criminal they had been hunting for a long time was rumoured to be. They had been in the car for over an hour and so far, no one had either come or gone from the house. Valkyrie was getting extremely impatient, and her mood wasn't exactly improved by Skulduggery sitting next to her humming contentedly to himself.

Namely, the facade he wore had a drooping moustache, something he had longed for ever since China had first tattooed the façade tattoos onto his collarbones. He had been sitting and pulling his moustache on and off ever since he activated the façade when they parked the Bentley. As if the humming wasn't annoying enough, he also had a big grin on his fake face.

"I swear to God, Skulduggery! Stop that humming. I'm getting really annoyed with that sound. And to top it all off, you look like a Bond villain who have just told Bond his evil plan after he has caught him. The only thing missing is a cat on your lap and the picture would be perfect."

Instead of obliging Valkyrie, he continued to tug on his moustache, much slower now while humming even louder and adding a little chuckle at times, as well. He even had the audacity to pretend to pet an invisible cat sitting on his lap! Just as Valkyrie turned in her seat and opened her mouth, Skulduggery cut her off before she could say anything. "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about I'm afraid, Valkyrie."

Valkyrie felt her irritation rise even more and she was now on the verge of getting angry. She took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself down as she knew Skulduggery was only doing this to tease her and make her lose her cool. Because he hated scouting missions like this as much as she did and making her lose her temper was one of his favourite pastimes when he was bored.

"I swear Skulduggery that if you don't stop doing that thing at once I will beat you. Hard."

"Violence won't solve any problems, Valkyrie."

"Well, it does. We basically solve all our problems by beating down humans, other mages, or monsters of various kinds."

"It's a completely different thing compared to this."

"How can this be different? If I hit you, hopefully you'll stop making those annoying noises that bother me so much. So, my violence has solved my problem."

"You just said 'hopefully', which means there is a small chance, however small this chance may be, that your method will fail. In other words, violence does not solve everything."

"That's not what you said, Skulduggery. You said, and now I'm quoting you, 'Violence won't solve any problems, Valkyrie.' If you said violence doesn't solve all problems, you'd be right, but now you didn't say that."

"Sometimes you're really annoying, do you know that?"

Valkyrie smiled; she couldn't help it. "I've had a really good tutor who knows all about being annoying, so it's no wonder if I get on your nerves sometimes."

Skulduggery mumbled something inaudible in response to her claim. He didn't stop pulling his moustache, but at least he stopped that annoying humming. Valkyrie leaned back in the passenger seat looking extremely pleased, something she knew would annoy Skulduggery at least as much as his humming had done to her. Maybe even a little more because she had managed to hit a nerve, something she didn't manage to do often, but was just as satisfying every time.

"You see, you can if you just want to!" she couldn't help but say, causing Skulduggery to turn to her and give her an annoyed look. "Admit it, I'm right and you're wrong. If you'll just admit it to yourself and me, you'll feel a lot better afterwards."

Skulduggery didn't answer and instead started that annoying hum again, but much louder. Valkyrie felt the anger go through her and she couldn't stop herself. She raised her hand and slapped her palm across the back of Skulduggery's head. This made him turn the other way around to face her with a surprised expression on his face. "Valkyrie, what was that good for?"

"I warned you, didn't I? You know I always keep my word, especially when it comes to threats of violence."

"Did you have to hit me so hard? Ouch…" Skulduggery muttered, stroking the back of his aching head.

"Hopefully, you've learned something from this, Skulduggery. You should never tease an angry dog. It never ends well."

"Are you comparing yourself to a dog? Good to know for the future. From now on, I'm going to start calling you 'Cain the Dog'."

Valkyrie raised her arm to strike Skulduggery again, but this time he was ready and grabbed her wrist the moment she launched the strike. "I won't fall for that a second time, Valkyrie. Better luck next time."

Valkyrie smiled and kicked Skulduggery's leg. "And you should recognize a feint, Skulduggery."

"Touche, Valkyrie."

"You see, I can still surprise you."

"You can." Skulduggery looked away from Valkyrie just as he heard a front door open and close. "Time to move. Our target has left the house."

Valkyrie smiled and unbuckled her seatbelt before placing her hand on the doorknob. "What are we waiting for? Come and let's create some chaos!"