Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring
A totally non canon adventure
by Jaketheripper.
Intro:
I amar prestar aen.
The world is changed.
Han matho ne nen.
I feel it in the water.
Han mathon ned cae.
I feel it in the earth.
A han noston ned gwilith.
I smell it in the air.
Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it.
It began with the forging of the Great Rings. Three were given to the Elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Seven to the Dwarf-Lords, great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. And nine, nine rings were gifted to the race of Men, who above all else desire power. For within these rings was bound the strength and the will to govern each race. But they were all of them deceived, for another ring was made. Deep in the land of Mordor, in the Fires of Mount Doom, the Dark Lord Sauron forged a master ring, and into this ring he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life.
One ring to rule them all.
One by one, the free lands of Middle-Earth fell to the power of the Ring, but there were some who resisted. A last alliance of men and elves marched against the armies of Mordor, and on the very slopes of Mount Doom, they fought for the freedom of Middle-Earth. Victory was near, but the power of the ring could not be undone. It was in this moment, when all hope had faded, that Isildur, son of the king, took up his father's sword.
Sauron, enemy of the free peoples of Middle-Earth, was defeated. The Ring passed to Isildur, who had this one chance to destroy evil forever, but the hearts of men are easily corrupted. And the ring of power has a will of its own. It betrayed Isildur, to his death.
And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. History became legend. Legend became myth. And for two and a half thousand years, the ring passed out of all knowledge. Until, when chance came, it ensnared another bearer.
It came to the creature Gollum, who took it deep into the tunnels of the Misty Mountains. And there it consumed him. The ring gave to Gollum unnatural long life. For five hundred years it poisoned his mind, and in the gloom of Gollum's cave, it waited. Darkness crept back into the forests of the world. Rumor grew of a shadow in the East, whispers of a nameless fear, and the Ring of Power perceived its time had come. It abandoned Gollum, but then something happened that the Ring did not intend. It was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable: a hobbit, Bilbo Baggins, of the Shire.
For the time will soon come when hobbits will shape the fortunes of all.
Chapter 1
It was noontime in Bree when the calm air of the river town was disrupted in the extreme by a crackling of energy, The elderly gatekeeper looked up from his book to see the air in front of the gate buzzing like the shimmer on a hot day.
"What's that?!"
Suddenly a bright blue portal blazed forth in the shimmering air, expelling three, incredibly odd individuals!
One was a Halfling woman, wearing a sleeveless gray dress with yellow trim and sandals, about her head and neck hung a gray cloak with a hood that covered her head of blonde hair. At her hip, a quiver full of iron arrows, in her hand was a bow unlike any the old gatekeeper had ever seen in his tiny corner of the world, a compound bow, comprised itself of iron.
To the Halfling girl's right was something he only assumed was a large man in full body armor, for what could his mind compare to a Warforged? The body constructed of wood and dark dark iron, three fingered hands and two toed feet, a metallic face fixed in a permanent neutral expression, no nose, no lips. A tyrian purple cloak adorned his mechanical body, on his back under the cloak was a large wicker backpack, in his right hand he held a golden guardless sword, strapped to his left arm was a massive iron tower shield.
To the Halfling's left was a massive white reptilian man, a white Dragonborn Cleric who wore only a humble tan priest's robe, carrying a massive morning star, an ale keg slung across his back like a backpack.
"Where the hell are we, Gallend?" The Warforged looked at the Dragonborn, it's expressionless face not conveying as much emotion as it's voice.
The Dragonborn named Gallend hiccups, "I'm n'sure..." He staggers a bit, "fugk...lasstime I take a portal I tell you what...HEY! Peony! Where are we?" The Dragonborn looks blearily at the Halfling, who had stowed her bow under her cloak, "hell if I know, Gal...Fadron could you pick me up?"
The Warforged nodded and picked her up with one hand, setting her inside the wicker backpack, "thanks babe..."
The elderly gatekeeper opened the peephole, "what in the devil are you three doing!? Appearing out of mid air like that!? You nearly gave me a heart attack!"
Gallend turned drunkenly towards the voice, but ended up knocking his head on the open panel of the peep hole, then resting entirely on the wood wall, "Hey...do...do you know where we are?"
The gatekeeper nods, "yer in Bree!"
The party just blinked at him
"Bree-land? We're but 40 miles from Hobbiton and the Shire?"
Fadron shrugged, "we'll take your word for it, is there an inn anywhere close? My organic friends here are tired."
The man opened the door in the wall, "the prancing pony is right down thataways, ye can't miss it!"
Fadron hastily pushed past the old man, Gallend following behind at a trot.
"And a fine midday to you too, sir...weird bastards...appearing from THIN air..." and like that, the Gatekeeper went back to his book
The prancing pony was a welcoming atmosphere, and while the oddities of the newcomers did not go unnoticed, the geniality of their ways was soon accepted by the rather flexible tavern folk, and quickly forgotten as Fadron purchased a room for he and his friends, allowing the party to retire.
Later that night, the no longer exhausted party came back downstairs to drink and be merry, to share tales of adventure and bravery amongst the patrons of the inn.
Excepting Fadron, who sat there and watched as Peony downed pint after pint, each time attempting to cut her off, but to no avail.
It was then that the wicker basket which Fadron had set next to him stirred, out of it crawled a cat sized creature with green bumpy skin, long floppy ears and a froglike face with one lazy eye and one milky eye, on its back were two long and leathery wings, the creature yawned as it climbed up on to Fadron's shoulders.
"Now what's this now, Master stoneface? What odd manner of creature have you got there?" Asked an intrigued bar patron.
Fadron chuckled, "this, my inebriated friend, is a Hommunculus, his name is Madeye, he's my pet."
The patron looked enthralled, "is he friendly, sir? May I pet him?" Fadron nodded and the eager Hommunculus accepted pets from all the patrons at the bar before Peony gasped, "my kinsmen!" And lept from her barstool, rushing over to four other Halflings that had just entered, looking soggy and scared.
Smelling an adventure, Fadron got up from the bar, leaving Gallend to snore, still in an alcoholic stupor. As he approached the group of Hobbits, he perceived something was amiss with this group but did not know what. "Peony come away..." but the tipsy Halfling had already gotten each of the new Halflings a pint, "Fadron you're my Husband...not a killjoy...lemme have some fun."
One of the hobbits laughed, "you're married...to THAT!?" The other directly next to him elbowed him in the side, "Pippin that thing could crush your skull!"
Fadron knelt next to the two, who were now arguing in whisper yells, "calm yourselves, I hold neither of you any ill will, just make sure my wife is safe, I'm going to go check on Gallend."
Pippin nodded and raised his tankard as the Warforged walked back to the bar.
The night progressed, and that forboding feeling Fadron had before grew stronger, he looked to the left to see one of them vanish, then reappear almost instantly!
Fadron stood and watched as a strange figure crossed the tavern to drag the newly reappeared hobbit deeper into the inn.
"Hey! He's taking the cute one away! Fadron honey, let's go get that bastard!"
"Ok but you're both too drunk, I'm taking you to the room first."
And so he did, one friend under each arm, he dragged them back to their room, which subsequently was already occupied by the shady character and the hobbit he'd dragged away.
"HEY!" Fadron dropped his friends and drew his sword, the shady character blinked as he saw the other hobbits rush in after Fadron, "Let him go! Or I'll have you, Longshanks!" Shouted one of them, gesticulating with just his fists.
The shady character sheaths his sword, "I'm sorry Master Stoneface, I had to comandeer the room in the name of safety." He turns back to the Hobbit he dragbed in, You can no longer wait for the wizard Frodo. They're coming..."
Pippin, Marry and sam all look from Fadron to the shady man "...who's coming?"
Fadron groans, "my name is Fadron, you're all in my rented room, Who are you?"
Frodo looks up at the irate Warforged, "His name is Strider and we're being hunted...we need to stay here in your room tonight...is that alright?"
Fadron perked up, "Hunted? Oh really? Anything I can help with?"
Strider rolled his eyes, "there are none that live that are able to stand against the nine, we must leave."
The Dragonborn cleric sat up from where Fadron had dropped him, "isser a fight I should know about?"
Fadron nodded, "some group called the nine, I wanna tickle their rectums with my sword."
Peony sprang to her feet with a drunken giggle, "no rectum tickling without me, my love!"
Strider groaned, "if they're going to let us stay then we might as well bed down...as long as we stay quiet we should be fine."
That night the air is rife with unholy screams, riders wreathed in black cloaks ride into town, breaking down the flimsy gate, crushing the poor elderly gatekeeper beneath the wood!
The four riders shrieked and circled the Prancing pony, stopping and beginning to dismount when a sudden flurry of glowing arrows caused their horses to panic, a manic laugh from the straw roof causes the wraiths to look about before the arrows embedded in the ground flash with an intense solar flare! The riders all confusedly jumping off their horses, drawing swords and shrieking!
It was then that Fadron came barreling out of the Prancing pony with his greatshield grasped in both hands! The riders, taken by surprise, raise swords just in time for one of them to get beaten soundly about the head and chest by the massive great shield! The wraith he started beating, unable to react in time, has it's head beaten in, the robe goes limp and falls to the ground, empty!
As the other wraiths begin to advance, Fadron straps the shield back on his arm and draws his sword, "Hey babe! Looks like we have a bunch of flimsy wraiths! Rain hell!"
Peony looks behind her at Gallend, also on the roof who starts chanting, her arrows start glowing again and she starts shooting directly at the wraiths! Setting the cloaks of two ablaze whilst the other was able to dodge, hurriedly jumping on his horse and rushing away as the other wraiths flee from a turn undead spell, still on fire!
Strider walks out of the inn, looking shocked, "How did you manage that?"
Fadron shrugged, "I'm a machine...Peony is pretty used to avoiding fear effects and Gallend serves a much higher power...I think the enemy hunting you might need bigger weapons if he's to fight off the likes of us."
Frodo rushes over to Fadron, "so you'll come with us then?"
Fadron nodded as Peony did a flip off the roof, landing flawlessly in his backpack! Gallend falling off the roof into a scaly robed heap, "is there booze?" He asks from his sprawl, to which the hobbits all respond with various versions of "yes." And Gallend holds up a single clawed thumb, "I am up for it then."
Fadron hoisted the Dragonborn to his feet and addressed the halflings, "so where are you headed next?"
Strider nodded, begrudgingly accepting these three as the saviours they proported to be, "we head for Rivendell, for the house of Elrond, although we may yet be able to get there without much more trouble thanks to you...let's bed down for the night."
Peony collapsed, her arms wrapping around Fadron's shoulders as she fell to her knees in the basket, "Great! A good night's sleep...some breakfast and we'll be off on another quest..."
Gallend was already snoring as The group all went back to Fadron's room where they slept through the night.
Excepting for Fadron of course, who did not need sleep and merely sat up all night watching the road from the 2nd story window, counting the coin the innkeeper mr. Butterbur had given him for saving the inn.
The next morning came and Mr. Butterbur came to their room with fresh breakfast which the halflings all loved, devouring everything in sight while Gallend blearily munched a roll with a fresh tankard of ale in his hand, Strider ate an apple from his pack, Fadron leaned towards the Ranger, "Hey...why don't you eat what mr. Butterbur made? He's really grateful and that food looks awesome."
Strider looked at Fadron with a confused look, "if it looks so good, why don't you eat it?"
Fadron sighed, "I wish I could...but I don't eat food...bad for my internals."
Aragorn chuckled as he took a couple pieces of toast and a few eggs, "there, happy? Why is it so important that I eat?"
Fadron looked away, towards Peony, "I may or may not enjoy watching people eat."
Strider shrugs, nodding his head in understanding, "unable to eat, but knowing what joy it causes us who can, you WOULD enjoy watching it."
Peony laid herself across Fadron's arm, "honey, we should get going if we're going to make any headway...I wanna get my quest on!"
Strider laughed, "you're right, we really should, everyone get ready, we have a long journey ahead of us."
After the party ate breakfast, they would start on their journey to Rivendell, but they would not make it before darkness would fall once more...
To be continued.