Chapter 1 - The Phantom Menace
Plot: Anakin is six when his younger brother, Jacen Skywalker, is born, and Jacen is three when the Jedi come to Tatooine. Taken to the Temple to become a Jedi, Jacen quickly becomes close friends with Ahsoka. It's a friendship that will have a long-lasting impact on the galaxy, whether for better or worse.
Author's Note: This is going to be our first actual Ahsoka/OC, so for our readers who've read Shadows of Tomorrow and hoped it would be Theseus/Ahsoka, hopefully this will make up for that. :D
We'll hopefully be updating weekly on Saturday or Sunday. :)
~ Tirana Sorki
Also, this was a fic request by Spectacular Webhead 11. :P
~ Amina Gila
Saying sandstorms are dangerous, Anakin thinks, is a severe understatement. He can't see, can barely breathe, but he knows the way home more than he knows his own name. He can only use his arm to shield his eyes and face the best he can, grateful they weren't farther out. If Padme and the rest were on their way back to the ship, they would never have made it, and Anakin knows far too well what can happen in sandstorms.
One of his best friends had been thrown into a sandstorm to die, the closest friend aside from Kitster. She had died out there, her airways clogged with sand, and she suffocated. He had seen it before in nightmares, but there was nothing he could do.
He blindly hits the button to open the door, feeling somewhat to get it – his eyes are already stinging. Anakin hurries inside to give the others plenty of room, and they enter, one by one.
"Mom!" Anakin calls, breathing a sigh of relief to finally be somewhere safe. "Mom, I'm home!"
No sooner does he get past that than a familiar three-year-old barrels into him, wrapping his arms around his waist with a squeal of "Ani!"
"Jacen," he greets, hugging him back. "I'm back, and I brought some friends." Anakin looks back at the others – Jar Jar is already making himself comfortable. "This is my brother, Jacen," he tells them. That's the same moment his mother enters. He sees the surprise evident on her face and hurries to explain it before she can worry. There's nothing to worry about, but there's many reasons – some very bad – that people would be coming to their house. "These are my friends, Mom."
"Hello," his mother greets.
"I'm Qui-Gon Jinn," the man introduces himself.
Anakin glances around the room, opting to help get their guests settled in. He's been excited to show Threepio off to someone else, anyway. Plus, he thinks the adults will want some time to talk. That's... usually what they do, isn't it? "I'm building a droid," he tells Padme proudly, "You wanna see?"
"What kind is it?" she asks.
"A protocol droid. To help Mom. Come on, I'll show you Threepio." He grabs her hand, pulling her to the bedroom he and his brother share. Jacen follows along behind, practically glued to Anakin's side. It's normal when they're around each other. When he was first born, Anakin had underestimated the... stress and fear that comes with being an elder sibling. It was hard for their mother to divide her attention and focus between them both. Maybe elsewhere, it wouldn't be, but here, on Tatooine, they hardly have enough to scrape by with. Between that, Watto, and the constant dangers – it's terrifying, but Anakin has slowly grown accustomed to it as he has everything else.
"He great!" Jacen squeals eagerly, practically bouncing up and down as Anakin pulls off the blanket over the droid that they use both to protect it and hide it from prying eyes, flipping the switch to turn on the droid.
"He's wonderful," Padme agrees, smiling.
"Where is everybody?" the droid asks, jolting. He sits up, only one of his eyes in place.
"Whoops," Anakin mumbles, scrambling to find it.
"You forgot his eye," Jacen interjects proudly. "You lost it."
"I didn't lose it!" Anakin insists, insulted.
"Mom always says your room is a mess."
"It's our room," Anakin objects. "You lost it, too."
"Did not!" Jacen protests. Anakin finally finds it on the floor, half buried beneath some other mechanical parts and puts it in place.
"Oh, hello," the droid says, "I am See-Threepio, human cyborg relations. How might I serve you?"
"He's perfect," Padme compliments as the droid stands, crossing the room to approach Artoo. Anakin smiles back, eagerly. He hasn't gotten to show off his secret projects to anyone new for a long time.
Jacen scampers across the room to stare at Artoo up close, and Padme's gaze follows him for a moment. "Where's your father?" she asks.
Anakin freezes at the question. He knew Jacen's father. Everyone did. But he's gone, lost like so many others. "He was sold off-planet," he answers quietly. He might not have been Anakin's father – Anakin doesn't know who he is, and it has never really mattered to him, because he has his mother, and that's more than what many others have – but Anakin still loved him. He almost... could have been a father, but he was only in their life for two years before he left.
Jacen wasn't quite one year old yet when it happened. Anakin was almost seven.
"I'm sorry," Padme tells him softly.
He only nods. There's nothing to be said, really. Jacen's father is gone, and Anakin knows they'll never see him again. Once someone is sold, it... never happens. Maybe someday, if Anakin is free, when he starts freeing all the slaves, they'll be able to find him, but he knows that won't be for a long time.
He doesn't know if he'll still be alive by then.
It reminds him suddenly of how he saw Qui-Gon's laser sword earlier. That means he's a Jedi, doesn't it? Anakin hasn't asked, but he can't stop wondering. But why would a Jedi be out here, unless he's planning to help them?
It would make sense. So many people here – the younger ones, at least – dream of the Jedi coming to free them. Many have given up hope entirely. (His mother has. She did, after her should-have-been husband was lost, but they couldn't even marry, because they were slaves, and it wasn't supposed to happen.)
Anakin keeps dreaming that he's going to be a Jedi, though. He doesn't know what to think about it. Sometimes, in flashes, he sees Jacen with him, and some other people, too.
He already knows that Jacen can use The Wind the same way Jedi can, though. His mother always tells Anakin to watch him and make sure he doesn't use it, because that could be bad. She had once done the same for Anakin, though he doesn't really remember it anymore. All he knows is that it could be dangerous if the Masters see it, because slaves who can do it, who can feel what can't be seen, are considered special, and they might never be able to see Mom again.
Whatever happens, Anakin can't lose either of them.
**w**
Jacen is still too young to do much of any work – something Watto is often irritated about – so he usually stays with Mom. Today is Boonta Eve anyway, so they have the day off now that the race is over.
"You won! I knew it!" Jacen squeals for the tenth time, practically crushing Anakin's hand with his tiny one as they finally get back to their hut.
"I knew it, too," Anakin tells him, grinning, because somehow, he had. He was afraid of failing, and stranding Padme and everyone on here, but somehow, he had the feeling he wouldn't. But this time, he won, and nothing is as good as the exhilaration of feeling that win, of knowing he was able to help someone.
"They have been freed," Qui-Gon says from the doorway, and Anakin freezes.
It feels like the entire world around him just screeched to a grinding halt. "What?!" he shrieks, mind blown.
"Free?" Jacen yelps, looking up, his dark eyes wide. His mother looks up, a near tired smile on her face that makes him wonder, for a moment, if she already knew, or at least suspected something.
"You're no longer slaves," Qui-Gon repeats.
They're free. Qui-Gon freed them. It's all he's wanted to hear as long as he can remember, and now that it's here, he's... he's in too much shock to process it, but if he's free, it means he can finally, finally leave. They can all leave this nightmare together, and they won't have to worry about anything anymore.
"Yay!" Jacen squeals.
"Did you hear that?!" Anakin cries, spinning to Mom.
"Now you can make your dreams come true," she replies, smiling. She looks happy, but there's the tiniest amount of lingering sorrow in her eyes that Anakin can't understand. "You are free." She looks past them to Qui-Gon. "Will you take them with you? Are they to become Jedi?"
His heart is hammering with anticipation, with the silent plea of getting confirmation. There's nothing he wants more than that, to be able to help people.
"Yes," Qui-Gon promises, "Our meeting was not a coincidence. Nothing happens by accident."
They're going to be Jedi! They get to leave the planet! Finally. "You mean we get to come with you in your starship?!" he inquires, excitement coursing through him.
"I wanna go!" Jacen adds exuberantly.
Qui-Gon crouches in front of them, looking them in the eye. "Training to become Jedi is not an easy challenge, and even if you succeed, it's a hard life."
As if what they have here isn't? It's all he's ever dreamed of. How could he turn it down?! "But it's what I've always dreamed of doing," he protests, looking to his mother, "Can we go, Mom?"
"This path has been placed before you," she replies, "The choice is yours."
"I wanna do it."
"Yes!" Jacen insists.
"Then pack your things. We haven't much time."
"Race you!" shrieks Jacen and runs for their room. Anakin bolts after, skidding to a stop when a sudden thought occurs to him. All this time, Mom has only been talking about their choices.
"What about Mom?" he asks, "Is she free too?"
Somehow, that moment's hesitation already answers his question, and a sudden knot of horror and disbelief fill him. This can't be happening. She can't –
"I tried to free your mother, Ani, but Watto wouldn't have it. I sold off the pod for Jacen, and that was already at the limit of what he was willing to give up," Qui-Gon tells them regretfully.
"But Mom has to come!" Jacen protests, standing in the doorway.
Anakin slowly steps towards her, wishing he could do anything to deny what he's hearing. They can't be about to leave her behind. How could they ever do that?! She took care of them. She raised them. They can't leave her! "You're coming with us, aren't you, Mom?"
Jacen runs to join him next to her, eyes wide, and glistening with unshed tears.
She pulls them both close. "My place is here. It is time for you to let go."
Let go? How can he let go of her?!
"I don't want things to change," he protests, desperately.
"You can't stop change any more than you can stop the suns from setting," she tells them softly.
"We can't go without you!" Jacen protests.
"I can't go with you, little one," she says, gently, "My future is here. Yours is not. You must hurry."
He can't believe they're about to walk away, but he can't just not go either, can he? If he does, maybe he can come back to free her in a few years – to free everyone. If he stays, he knows what will happen, especially to Jacen. They'll just be re-possessed and... they could even be separated, without any hope of seeing each other again. Mom has warned them many times it could happen easily.
He finally turns and runs to his room with Jacen close behind as they pack the few things they can carry in their bag. "How can we go?" Jacen asks, looking up at him.
"We'll be Jedi. We'll come back to free her and everyone," Anakin promises, with far more surety than he feels.
They finish up quickly, finally heading out of their hut for the last time. It's time to go now, to leave all of this behind forever.
Including his mother.
Somehow.
But with every step he takes to follow Qui-Gon, holding Jacen's hand tightly in his own, the more he thinks that he can't do this. He can't just leave her behind. He can't even imagine living without her, and she'll be here without him, and he'll never know if she's alright. And she'll never even know what happened to them, or when they'll be coming back.
The thought of being away from her is terrifying – they have spent days apart before, but it was never like it will be now. It will be indefinite, with them having no knowledge of when they'll be together again.
And he... can't do this.
Anakin turns, looking back to see their mother standing in the doorway watching them, and the thought of this being the last time he ever sees her –
His eyes well with tears, and he runs back to her, with Jacen right behind. "I can't do it, Mom. I can't," he chokes out.
Their mother crouches in front of them, pulling them into her arms again. Jacen wraps his arms around her, clinging to her tightly. "You have to come," Jacen says miserably, even if they all know it's impossible. There's only so much Jacen understands at this age, but he knows that much. It's not her choice. Jacen is too little to understand, and somehow, that breaks his heart even farther.
"Perhaps, someday," she replies, but Anakin doesn't think she really believes it. He doesn't know that he does either.
"Will we ever see you again?" he asks, voice shaking.
"What does your heart tell you?"
He doesn't know. All he wants is for the answer to be yes, and maybe way inside, he doesn't truly think this is the last time, but at the same time, it also feels like it is. It's confusing. "I hope so," he replies, silently begging that it be true. He feels a strange... light in his heart, one he's come to trust, and he knows the answer, even if it's gray and distant and too far away. "Yes. I guess."
"Then we will see each other again."
Jacen looks up, hopefully. "Soon?"
"Someday," she repeats again.
It won't be soon, but Anakin doesn't want to tell him that. He doesn't know how he could tell his little brother that they won't come back to their mother in a long time. "I will come back and free you, Mom. I promise," he vows instead – because if he's leaving her, at least he can do that. At least he can try to make it right.
"We free everyone!" agrees Jacen.
She smiles, faintly. "Now, be brave. And don't look back. Don't look back." She stands up, turning them around to face Qui-Gon again, where he stands waiting.
He blinks back his tears, reaching down to take Jacen's hand again. "I'll take care of Jacen," he promises.
"I'll protect Ani!" Jacen adds proudly, though he sounds like he's crying.
"I know," she replies, and it's the last he hears before they start walking away. This is really happening. They're leaving, and they're never coming back, at least not for a long time.
All he wants is to look back, but he won't. It's her final request, and he knows that if he does, he definitely will never be able to leave.
**w**
The suns are beating down on them relentlessly as they cross the endless sand towards the ship in the distance. He's never had to walk this far in this heat before – usually everyone is indoors if they have a choice. And he's never had to do it while being crushed with the weight of knowing he'll never see his mother again for many years. He tries to focus on how he's about go on a starship and leave Tatooine and become a Jedi, but it's not that easy.
Qui-Gon is carrying Jacen now, as they run for the ship, and it's becoming harder and harder to keep up.
"Anakin, drop!" he yells suddenly, setting Jacen down as he spins around. Anakin obeys purely on instinct, right as the loud sound of a motor whirs over where his head was seconds before.
A dark robed figure leaps off a speeder, igniting a red laser sword and lunging for Qui-Gon.
Anakin's eyes widen as he scrambles to his feet, running to his brother's side.
"Get to the ship!" Qui-Gon calls, "Tell them to take off!"
He doesn't know what this figure is here for, but all he knows is that it's bad,and they need to run. He didn't even know bad people could have laser swords! "Come," he calls, and bolts across the sand again.
Jacen somehow manages to outrun him as they race for the ramp. It feels like it takes far, far too long for them to enter the ship and to get Qui-Gon safely aboard. Anakin doesn't entirely understand what's happening, but if anything, that just makes him even more afraid. He knew they were in trouble from someone and that someone was searching for them, but he didn't know it could be this bad.
"Are you alright?" Anakin asks, running to Qui-Gon's side where he sits on the floor, panting. He looks okay, but – that was close.
"I think so," Qui-Gon replies.
"What was it?"
"It had red laser sword!" Jacen announces, eyes wide.
"It was well-trained in the Jedi arts," he replies, "My guess is it was after the Queen."
"Why a Jedi chase her?" Jacen objects.
"It's not a Jedi. It's... something else."
"What are we gonna do about it?" Anakin asks.
"We shall be patient," Qui-Gon replies, then gestures to the other... Jedi there. At least he looks like one, too, because he also has a laser sword. "Anakin and Jacen Skywalker, meet Obi-Wan Kenobi."
Anakin turns to look at him, the second Jedi he's ever met. He can't wait to be one. "You're a Jedi too? Pleased to meet you."
**w**
It's not until they're in hyperspace that the true reality of the situation seems to suddenly hit him. He's never felt so lost and alone before, and he needs to protect Jacen.
Of course, Qui-Gon and the Jedi will take care of them, but still. He doesn't even know what to expect, what this will be like, or anything. And most of all, he misses Mom. Everything is strange and foreign now, and he has no idea what to expect.
Jacen is curled against his side, and Anakin instinctively tightens his grip on him. His little brother is all he has now.
"I miss Mommy," Jacen whispers, voice muffled.
"Me too," Anakin whispers back.
"I wanna go home," he mumbles.
"We will," Anakin promises, "Once we become Jedi."
"But that will be so long."
He can practically feel Jacen's pain and fear as much as his own, and that only makes it worse. It could be years. And anything could happen to Mom in the time they're gone. Tatooine is a dangerous place, and... He can't help but wonder if this was really the right choice, but there's no going back. "I know." He needs to be strong for Jacen, but he has no idea how to do that. He never really has.
"I don't wanna wait," he mumbles.
"We can learn fast," Anakin offers. He has no idea what's even involved in training, but if they do it quicker, maybe they'll be able to come back for their mother sooner.
Jacen only sniffles, snuggling a little closer to him, and Anakin holds him tightly. "You need to sleep," Anakin tells him finally. They both do, though he has no idea how to do that himself. It's not a place he's comfortable in. He's not comfortable with sleeping around strangers, even if no one else is in here.
Jacen doesn't seem to have quite the same problem, though, probably because he believes Anakin can protect him from anything that might go wrong. And he will, if he knows how, but he's terrified that he won't be able to.
Qui-Gon is here, though. They shouldn't have anything to be so afraid of. That still does little to make him feel better right now.
**w**
"Don't touch that!" Anakin warns, pulling Jacen away from the strange, shiny items on one of the tables in the much-too-fancy apartment. It's a completely new world, and they're in the capital of the Republic now. They're also in a Senator's apartment, while the Queen meets with him, and Qui-Gon goes to meet with the Jedi Council.
With everything going on, it's easier to be a little distracted from the constant, gaping ache in him, even if it never fades. He doubts it ever will.
"What's that?" Jacen asks, reluctantly stepping away and scampering towards the next... something. Anakin has no idea what most of these things are – they don't seem to have much purpose.
All he knows is that they have to be careful because they can't risk damaging anything. That would be bad. Especially when these people are being nice to them.
"I don't know."
Jacen's face twists into a momentary pout, before he drops down onto the carpet, trailing his fingers over the much too soft fabric. Anakin's never even seen anything like this before. They don't have those on Tatooine. And everything is clean here. Too clean. Everything is shiny and spotless, and Anakin has never seen things like that before. He's heard of it, but it's different to see.
"My head hurts," Jacen whines, looking up.
Anakin's is, too – it happens when he goes to new places, though he's not really sure why. It's worse now, and he feels strangely overwhelmed with all the sensations and everything to take in.
He has to wonder if it has something to do with... The Wind.
Whatever it is the Jedi call it, because he doesn't think the term is the same, from things he's overheard Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan saying.
"It's from the new place. I think," Anakin replies, joining him on the floor. He's used to pain, though. This isn't anything... significant.
Maybe they can find wherever Jar Jar disappeared to and keep exploring the place together. He already got lost countless times, and he has no idea what anyone would do with so many rooms.
They don't have to wait much longer, though, before Qui-Gon shows up again to fly them to the Temple. "It's so big," Jacen says, eyes glued on the towering building.
"There are more than ten thousand Jedi Knights," Qui-Gon tells him.
"How many is that?"
"A lot," Anakin replies, "More than how many people live in Mos Espa." Well, he doesn't know that for sure, but it's a lot.
"So many?" Jacen asks.
"Yes," Qui-Gon agrees, with a faint smile, "But still not enough to help everyone."
"I help!" he chirps.
"Yes. You both will," he replies, amused.
The inside of the Temple is even fancier than the apartment was. The ceilings are so huge it nearly makes him dizzy to look up at them – they look taller than Jabba's palace was. He can't shake how glaringly out of place he feels, now that he's actually here.
It's nothing like what he's used to.
They stop in a hall outside two towering doors, and Anakin can't shake how nervous he's suddenly feeling. He knows they're about to meet the Council – the heads of the Order – and he has no idea what will happen. He's never met any important people before – meeting important people was always bad on Tatooine. It's strange to think about how that's not the same everywhere.
"Anakin, Jacen," Qui-Gon begins seriously, and the tone instantly draws all his attention. "You know I told you the path to becoming a Jedi isn't going to always be easy."
A sudden chill snakes down his spine. Why does he have a bad feeling about this? "We're ready," Anakin assures.
"The Council has agreed to accept Jacen as an Initiate, because of his age. He will be raised and trained along with the younglings that will someday become Jedi Knights." Qui-Gon is at eye-level with them, and Anakin somehow has the feeling he is not going to like what the Jedi Master says next.
"What about Ani?" Jacen objects.
"He is older than normal Initiates that we bring to the Temple. To begin his training, the Council has asked to speak with him to determine his fate."
That... What?
They aren't going to accept him immediately? He didn't know there would even be a question, but he's scared now. He doesn't know what they'll expect from him.
"I go with Ani!" Jacen objects stubbornly.
"If Anakin is trained, he will likely become a Padawan, the next step up from an Initiate. Your training will not be... together."
Anakin doesn't know why he expected any differently. It makes sense. They're quite far apart in age, and... he really had no idea how Jedi were trained. But they're going to be separated.
And right after he lost his mother, and knowing Jacen will be lost and alone in a place like this, Anakin doesn't know if he can really leave him. "We'll still be able to see each other?" he blurts finally, desperately. Because at least he has to have that reassurance. He can't leave Jacen, having no idea if his brother will be alright.
"You will," Qui-Gon assures, "But I do not know how frequently."
"I can't leave Ani!" Jacen protests. He looks like he wants to cry, a perfect mirror of how Anakin himself feels. He feels numb with horror because they can't be about to be separated. How is he supposed to protect his brother if he's not with him? And Jacen is the one person he has left. He can't lose him, too. They've never been apart for long, all things considered. Every day he worked at Watto's shop, he knew he'd at least come home to be with him. Except when he was rented out on a long job to someone, but even then, he knew he'd see his mother and brother again. But now...
"I know it is a hard sacrifice, but if you desire to become Jedi, you will still see one another," Qui-Gon promises, reassuringly.
That doesn't make Anakin any happier about it. He never knew becoming a Jedi would mean being separate from everyone in his family.
"I can't," he argues again.
He needs to say something to his little brother, because... Anakin doesn't think this is something they can argue ,and they can't just back out either. They left Mom to become Jedi; they have to do it. But – but Anakin had no idea this was what it would mean.
He can feel that he'll see Jacen again soon, though.
He steps forwards, pulling Jacen into his arms, and they cling to each other tightly. "It will be alright. I'll come to see you as soon as I meet the Council."
"I don't want you to go," Jacen repeats.
"I don't either," he whispers back, holding him tightly for... the last time in he doesn't know how long. Hopefully, he can go to see him as soon as he's out of the Council meeting. He'll ask Qui-Gon later.
He doesn't know how long they hold onto each other before pulling apart – it would have been far longer if they weren't in a hall with so many strange people not far away, and... Anakin is never comfortable with that.
Jacen still looks visibly unhappy as Obi-Wan comes to take him to the youngling quarters. All Anakin can do is watch as he disappears around the corner, never knowing when he'll see him again.
Final Notes: Reviews are always appreciated! ^-^
Come hang out on Discord (delete spaces), discord . gg / nqSxuz2 or find us on tumblr at fanfictasia (our more serious blog which does have controversial posts on it; I won't be offended if you choose to block it, promise), and disastertriowriting (which is our fun blog with crack posts or incorrect SW quotes)
We've got a YT channel for tributes! (delete the spaces) youtube channel / UC_g1M5rSCxJUzQCRS29B6pA
ALSO: We have SW gift request forms for General, Anakin-Clones-centric, and Bad Batch fics. :D (delete spaces) bit . ly / CourtesyTrefflinFicRequests