When I started this story, one of my ideas was to show the moments when Ash and Serena are "separated" by point of view. When they were close, the narrator was omniscient, and when they were arguing or whatever, the point of view was limited to one character. Only, as I went along, I realized that varying the points of view too much wasn't necessarily very pleasant for the reader. So I kept some at the beginning (they had a little sentimental value since they were my first chapters) and then I cut a lot. But for the volcano part, I wanted to keep the idea, and I think I pushed it to the limit in this chapter.
I don't know how you feel about it, but personally I think the most powerful moment in this chapter is the "Stay out of my fights". It's the one that makes me shiver the most and gives me a sense of rupture, which is why I put the POV change right after ^^.
The colors of Oeillet d'Inde were too tempting
A pleasant coolness, a few glazed paintings on the walls, cracked columns that managed to support the roof. The Desert Ruins weren't in that bad of shape, not bad enough to call them "ruins," and if someone set about renovating them, the place would make a charming tourist spot. So yes, it would be, provided the insurance adjuster - the kind of person who could explain with aplomb that you "only" had ladder insurance and therefore couldn't climb a stepladder - agreed. But Flannery's initial assessment showed no gaping holes in the walls, no cracks too large to threaten the overall stability. And she could even confirm, now that she had reached the bottom of the site, that there were no henchmen at all.
Except that the leader would not return any report. Or yes, at the next leaders' meeting, she would have to explain how one of the degenerates from the famous Team Magma had escaped her.
Flannery massaged the back of her head; her blood pressure must be through the roof right now. It wasn't for lack of saying that they should split up, at least one blocking the exit to prevent the other guy from going behind their backs and quietly making his way to the exit. Even Serena agreed with the idea. Flannery stifled a gasp.
Two out of three, and yet Ash had the last word. The leader could roll her eyes and grumble, but he'd never change his mind. But you were ready, as if the first time hadn't been enough. When you split up, it took time to catch up. That time counted when you waited for help, that time became excruciating when someone suffered in your arms, when Serena suffered in his arms. Never again.
The coordinator froze as she met the monster's gaze. Had he frightened her? Had he? Ash exhaled a little steam. He wanted to forget, to close his eyes and believe in Serena. To be able, as before, to affirm that she was strong and let her take care of herself. He had managed to do that on Kalos, so why was it so hard now? He didn't understand, and the pain that pulsed through his skull right now, making him dizzy, didn't help him regain his usual good humor.
"Could... could we take a break?" Serena asked suddenly.
The former human never thought that these words would make his ears ring with joy. She was asking for a break, she was thinking about herself, she was taking care of herself... He soon found out. Serena leaned against a column, her forehead sweating, her complexion almost purple as she put her hands to her mouth.
"Not just a break... You should get out, Serena."
Putting herself in such a state, hiding from him, making herself feel bad until it was no longer tenable. What was she thinking?
"A few seconds," the coordinator assured her.
"How long have you felt bad?"
The girl looked for a sign of mockery from the leader. But when she saw Flannery's altered face, she knew the question was serious.
"The entrance..."
Her too? Flannery frowned. Two people, the same symptoms, at the same time.
"Charizard?" the leader wondered as she watched him walk away.
An old statue missing its head, his temples pounding as he approached. Ash thought he had found the epicenter. This flow, this ripple, this heaviness that was trying to take him away, that was hurting Serena. The shapeshifter took a deep breath. She'd feel better if he destroyed this object.
Two dead eyes were etched into the torso. Their sharp edges, the depth of the cut, a too-perfect appearance, while all around there were only eroded reliefs and faded grooves. The ancient human staggered. Waves. It wasn't a comparison, nor the closest definition to what he could feel. They were waves, as certain as if he'd been asked to recognize air or sand or stone.
Ash dove in. Submerged, refusing to breathe and this strange veil, this membrane covering his eyes. The Desert Ruins, the statue, the stones and even the grains of dust, he could always recognize without noticing the slightest change. A hallucination without appearance, without addition, without creation of the senses. A hallucination that erased, removed, suppressed...Serena, the leader, even him, they weren't here. The false Pokemon inhaled. The waves again. He stepped back and rubbed his eyes, as if he feared something was stuck to them. Serena again.
"Did you find anything?" asked Flannery.
A staircase partially covered by the statue's pedestal, with voices coming from it, didn't really count, did it?
"I think we found where our friend from Team Magma went."
Serena swallowed, remembering Wattson's warnings. Flannery hadn't warned her that this was the kind of person they were looking for.
"You can wait here while I check what's down there," the leader assured her.
But she was reluctant to go down the stairs when the henchman was probably cowering in his corner, praying to be forgotten.
"Chari..." the fake pokemon puffed.
"This passageway must have been uncovered a long time ago."
Flannery hadn't been very convincing, but why should she make excuses? Even if it was the henchman himself who had moved the statue, knowing exactly what he'd find underneath...
"Char."
All right, then. Between that poor Team Magma guy who got lost in the desert and had an unfortunate encounter with a leader, that headache since they entered the temple, and that not-so-secret secret passage, getting off might not have been the best idea in the world.
Ash sighed with relief, feeling that the leader was on the same wavelength as him. Now they would get out, away from the decapitated statue and forget about this hooded mirage.
"Charichar, chariz..."
Then why was Serena walking past him?
"Cha..."
Why couldn't his outstretched hand grab her?
"Char..."
Why did he remain motionless, jaw agape, as she descended the stairs and plunged headlong into the trap?
"Serena! Come back!" yelled Flannery.
She wouldn't listen. She wouldn't come back. If he let her go, if he let her go forward, if he trusted her... The statue toppled over, hit head-on by the monster. The passage was now wide open.
"It's a joke, she can't be that stupid, it's got to be a joke," Flannery repeated.
It has to be! The former human tumbled down the stairs. If only you'd come back! He stumbled. If only you'd apologize! He fell. I would like to believe that.
Two men in red uniforms marked with a large "M" examined the antique depictions on the walls.
"Why do I have to work when Adele... Courtney, I mean, could go back to headquarters?" a round-faced man complained to his partner.
A short, blond man named Blaise only half-listened as he took pictures of the few remaining paintings. Why was he forced to team up with Tabitha? Of course, he wasn't crazy about Courtney's choices, but he preferred her a thousand times over that smug so-called genius. Anyway, if he didn't hurry up and answer, Tabitha would become unbearable.
"Do you miss her already?"
"No, I don't miss her. The months I spent at the plant with that pest were enough for me. It's just that I'm the brains, the man who made this plan work, and I find myself in these sandy old ruins with you while she gets all the compliments."
Maybe because, unlike this dear mastermind, she was doing the right thing instead of complaining and getting everyone in trouble.
"Don't you want to skip the research for today?"
The blond massaged his temples. Dear Tabitha had managed to give him a raging headache with his crazy suggestions.
"What's the point? We're in the middle of the desert, remember?"
"Oh, there's no need to be so serious, especially since you and I know exactly what Maxie will tell us when we make our report tonight: Continue the search. I'm counting on you."
"He has asked us to come to these ruins and retrieve any information we can find. I'm determined to complete my mission."
"And I'm tired of feeling sick! I don't know if it's the stale air or if I've discovered claustrophobic tendencies, but I need a break."
"I won't keep you."
"Don't pretend you're fine. I've seen you take four or five aspirin tablets a day if you don't go up to eight. I'm telling you, there's no point in getting upset when it's obvious there's no information about Groudon here."
His partner just shrugged. In any case, Maxie had never said he was looking for information about the legendary pokemon, but rather: Any information you can find there. Their leader had an idea in the back of his mind, probably too important to share with anyone. Blaise sighed; it wasn't hard to understand the problem. His leader had been acting nervous lately, ever since the rival gang had started their action at Mount Chimney. And as luck would have it, he had sent them deep into the desert in search of "information" right after those events. Come to think of it, it was obvious that their mission here would be to counter those damned Aqua. Too bad Tabitha, with his genius brain, couldn't figure that out.
"This mission isn't an Admin thing."
"It's not for us to judge."
"I get it," Tabitha despaired. "You admire Maxie too much to..."
Tabitha paused, his colleague's words echoing in his head again. The Admin grinned, she could almost worry him with her stories.
"Well, I'm going back upstairs."
He put his hands in his pockets and waited for his partner to change his mind. Only Blaise was still taking pictures of walls full of bird pokemons scrawled by a four-year-old.
"Maxie may be a smart guy, but even he couldn't get anything out of this."
Blaise massaged his temples before swallowing one of the famous orodispersible tablets. When's the next one? Four o'clock, three o'clock, unless he decided to do a little combination with paracetamol. The perfect way to screw up your liver.
"Hold it right there!"
Tabitha arched an eyebrow. He didn't know if it was an order or a threat, but it lacked confidence. So much so that Blaise didn't even bother to turn around.
"Are you lost, kid?" the Admin scoffed.
Don't give up! She'd seen him up there, the leader and her partner Charizard, the duo who didn't fear danger, ready to climb down and leave her behind. So don't give up, don't run away, show him you can be as strong as Flannery!
That man's smile, it all started there. From those sneering lips, the edges of which infected the rest of his face. The skin darkened, the features hardened, and those eyes... It's not Archie, it's not Archie, it's not Achie!
"She must have been caught in a sandstorm and taken refuge in the temple," Blaise reasoned without taking his eyes off the wall.
Tabitha blinked. The way she was shaking, the little girl hadn't planned on coming face to face with Team Magma's powerful trainers.
"Doesn't that explain how she found us? The passage isn't that obvious."
"The way you roar at the same time..." the blond hissed between his teeth.
"Did you say something?" asked Tabitha.
The self-proclaimed genius was sincere when he said he hadn't heard. But it was impossible for him to be the subject of criticism, so he let himself be fooled by polite smiles, convinced that he was appreciated by all. The only one who was remotely sincere was Courtney, which was why in Tabitha's eyes she was nothing but a bitch, jealous of his talents.
"Come on kid, get out of here, this is no place to play."
"Tabitha, we can't let her go. We'll be embarrassed if she tells anyone."
"Oh, but she won't say anything if we ask her. Look at her! She looks like she's going to burst into tears at the sight of us."
No! I'm not! I'm not afraid, I'm not... She screamed, her whole body tensing as the Admin stomped his foot on the ground, pretending to move forward.
"You see!" shouted the genius, but suddenly he grabbed his head with a grunt of pain. "I shouldn't have screamed..."
"Tabitha."
"It's okay, I get it," the Admin grumbled, massaging his forehead.
He came closer, reached out his hand, ready to grab her, to bite her shoulder. She would be in pain, terrible pain, her muscles torn, her nerves on edge. Run, call a pokemon, beg, cry. Do something, make a decision, anything! Her head ached, she wanted to vomit.
"Charizard! Flamethrower!"
Tabitha stepped back just in time as Serena fell to her knees.
"The Lavaridge leader? What's she doing here?" spat Tabitha.
Serena's stomach tightened so much that she couldn't hold back the contents. He obeyed her! He obeyed Flannery!
"Does she have a Charizard now?" exclaimed Blaise, joining his ally.
No! It's not her pokemon! It's... It's my... Charizard is...
"Go back upstairs, Serena. We'll take care of them."
Why couldn't she? Why couldn't she do it? The stench filled her nose and mouth, the muscles between her ribs pulling with all their might to get oxygen into her lungs. The dragon's back was to her. He had a leader at his side, so what use would a coordinator be to him.
"I can do it! Just give me a chance to prove it!"
A cry so desperate that it made Ash hesitate. If he wanted to calm her down, help her, make her feel better, he just had to... Can I do it? He'd practiced, he'd gotten stronger, but was it enough to believe her? To pretend that everything was okay, even if the weight in his belly grew heavier... I'm used to it, it just took me a while to remember. Reluctantly, he squatted down. Full of regret, he held out his hand.
"Are you sure?" the leader asked.
He waited, and so did Serena. She thought he was joking, that it was a game he'd invented for himself. But when she slipped her fingers between the sharp claws, when he gently pulled her to her feet, when he led her to stand beside him without letting go of her hand, she knew he was sincere.
The impostor shuddered. Flannery stared at him and resented it. To calm her, to reassure himself, he used the convenient excuse Serena had offered him:
"I promised, one last chance, even though I shouldn't have, I already promised her."
As long as his insides stayed nice and cold, it wouldn't be a lie.
"Then why did you let go of her hand?"
He didn't answer. Flannery didn't dwell on it and called her Magmortar.
"Well... It's going to be a double fight, if I understand correctly."
Serena looked at his palm, exactly the same softness as when she'd fallen and he'd caught her.
"I can do this," she murmured.
No sooner had Tabitha sent his orange tortoise than Magmortar was aiming his cannons. Poor Torkoal wasn't in a very comfortable position, but he didn't seem to mind too much.
"Hey, hey, hey! I'd like to add a Gym Leader to my list of victories," Tabitha laughed.
Blaise just smiled slightly as his pokemon crawled toward his opponents, leaving a trail of lava in his wake. Tabitha was motivated, so maybe this time he'd get something out of it.
"Slugma, you can go," the blond ordered.
The lava burning in Slugma's veins heated up and bubbles rose to the surface of his body. The stone beneath him melted, the phlyctenes burst, and Blaise shouted his order.
Magmortar's smile widened, ready to accept the challenge. He raised his arms and stopped the fiery blast without the slightest difficulty. Now it was his turn.
"Torkoal," Tabitha snapped.
Instead of the usual flames, the coal pokemon spat out a violet liquid that struck Magmortar head-on. The pokemon stopped its attack and took a few steps back, its face suddenly turning purple.
"A coward's technique," Flannery grimaced.
"If you wish," Tabitha sighed, uninterested in the woman's accusations. "Now let's get this Gyro Ball over with."
While the leader grappled with her opponent, Serena did her best against hers.
"Charizard, use Slash!"
Though Slugma dodged effortlessly, the coordinator felt a wave of happiness rise inside of her. He was listening to her, accepting her leadership, her role as his trainer.
"Step back and follow with Thunder Punch!"
Ash was using up all his fuel. All that old fuel oil was gobbling up arterial blood as it threw its waste into the intimacy of the walls. He had to go through all this to flood his fists and feed his poor cells, which could no longer tell the difference between the waste they were spitting out and the waste they were absorbing. They got by, working that filth into enough heat to generate lightning.
Serena's eyes sparkled with joy when he finally touched Slugma, and the former human even thought he could make out a faint smile. Maybe that was why he endured the impure fuel that polluted his lungs every time he spat out his flames. To see her happy, so she could move on, because it was best for her. He coughed, but Flannery screamed loud enough for no one to hear. Black smoke billowed from his mouth, but luckily Serena turned her head to Magmortar.
"Charizard's going to help him!" the coordinator shouted.
Ash's heart pumped harder and faster, adding a little more marasmus to the muscles that were already tearing apart in their own acidity. Miraculously, he pulled off an illusion and pushed Torkoal away before he could touch the leader's pokemon. He put his hand over his mouth and pushed the filth back down his throat. But now, in the distance, the snail shook his body. Drops of magma flew, becoming the heart of imposing boulders. A danger the leader recognized instantly, ready to counter as her partner raised his arms.
"Use..."
A thunderclap ripped through her brain, paralyzing her to the point where she was unable to scream. Serena stammered as Magmortar lunged at his trainer, oblivious to the rocks threatening his head.
"Dodge!" the coordinator shouted. Magmortar didn't listen, but Serena at least hoped the reptile would... The corridors were too narrow to escape. The two pokemons were buried before her eyes, and there was nothing she could do. "Flannery..." the young coordinator pleaded.
The leader was in no mood to help them; the electric shocks were already taking over her mind.
"Did he resist?" Blaise wondered.
The rocks melted at the end of Magmortar's claws. He rose to his feet, staggered for a moment before spitting a volley of energy balls at Slugma. But the pokemon slipped on the walls and deformed its viscous body to avoid the attacks, sacrificing the millennia-old paintings.
"Everything's going to fall apart if he keeps this up," the blond worried.
As Blaise and his pokemon did their best to contain the devastating attacks, Ash pushed back the rocks that were crushing him. It was his first rock attack, and he couldn't deny that he felt it coming.
"Torkoal, use Gyro Ball again."
The living top rushed at her pokemon, and Serena had no time to think. Then, out of reflex, she yelled:
"Flamethrower!"
The dragon's breath collided with the fireproof shell, which continued to spin, defying the torrent of fire that tried to repel it. I can't weaken, I don't want Serena to... No more. The sugar, the fat, the little energy he'd regained during their rare pauses. Gone, just like his flamethrower. If I'm not strong enough, she'll... Now free to move, Torkoal accelerated his rotation, the reptile's head in his sights. She'll... Ash's eyes widened. She threw herself in front of him, arms outstretched, sacrificing herself, again...
"Not this time! "
A thud. Behind him, Serena. The shapeshifter inhaled and exhaled violently. Beneath his fist, embedded in the ground, Torkoal was still. A little lava leaked from the top of the shell and dripped down. The volcano was there, right in front of him. Serena hurt. She did it again. Serena accepting to be hurt. She did it again. He turned to her. The trainer hiccupped with fear. She stepped back and stammered, her voice shaking:
"I thought Flamethrower could... I'm sorry, I won't make any more mistakes!"
Mistakes? It's not just a mistake, you could have...
"I promise to make no more mistakes in my orders and..."
Your orders? What are you talking about?
"I will do everything I can to help you defeat them!" she shouted with determination.
The sound of an explosion. No doubt Magmortar's Focus Blast had missed its target again. Not enough to make him look away from the trainer. So that's why? You asked me for one last chance and that's why... The reptile's tail hit the ground, kicking up a thick cloud of sand. The grains of silica hissed in the heat as the girl fell to the ground. She tried to run away. But the huge dragon towered over her, and she knew she couldn't outrun it.
"Please... I know you're strong, that... that you want a better trainer... But I'll try! I'll try..."
Serena touched the ribbon tied to her wrist, the blue link she no longer dared to wear on her chest. Courage, that Ash would give her courage...
"Stay out of my fights."
I hadn't screamed, I hadn't had the strength to scream. But I knew she'd understood even without it. Serena didn't speak anymore, her head down, her shoulders shaking, and this time I didn't think she would have the courage to fight back.
"Look out!" she shouted suddenly.
Torkoal had risen, black smoke billowing from his carapace. He spat his flames in my direction as Serena screamed for me to duck. I couldn't take it anymore. The stream of fire dispersed, cut in two by my claws. I thought I'd become strong enough so you wouldn't have to... What had all the nights of training been for? If I listened to you, if I agreed to dodge, all my efforts would be wasted.
"I don't need your help."
But she wouldn't give up her role when Torkoal returned to me with Gyro Ball. Serena's hope in that order, her hope that my reaction was an accident.
"Protect yourself behind the rocks!"
It's about time you understood. The pain swirling in my hands was nothing, the scales he ripped off as he grazed my torso would grow back. But there was no way he could get through and hurt you!
Torkoal's body slammed into the rock, his shell cracking on impact and releasing a thick cloud of smoke. I stepped back, the coal dust preventing me from seeing or smelling anything. And now it was spreading throughout the corridor. I could hear the coordinator coughing, Flannery moaning a few curses as she, too, turned her voice into short, dry noises.
"Serena!" I called, holding my wing up to my nose.
But I shouldn't have opened my mouth; the smoke wafted up to my palate and brought tears to my eyes.
"C-Chari... Charizard," I heard hissing between two coughs.
I groped my way over to her. I was close enough now to see her. She was shaking with convulsions, her body struggling against the smoke entering her. Seeing her like this, I couldn't... I couldn't breathe.
Another explosion. I still couldn't see, but I heard Flannery scream:
"Charizard, flap your wings! You must flap your wings!"
No need to say more. The limbs at my back moved violently to repel the smoke. The gust of wind forced the soot to escape through the many holes Magmortar had made in the ceiling. Once she could breathe again, Serena took deep breaths and rubbed her eyes. Flannery returned to us, clearing the last of the coal particles from her throat.
"It's stopped, it's finally stopped," she breathed out in relief.
And it wasn't smoke she was talking about. Magmortar was supporting her, the fire leader holding her hand to her head, one of her eyes reddened.
"He..." Serena tried.
She clutched her throat, unable to continue. Exhalations, each longer than the last, followed.
"I know they did it. They ran away," the leader tensed.
"He wouldn't listen to me."
She had whispered, but I heard perfectly, and so did Flannery, the way she was staring at her.
"Does that surprise you?"
Serena shook her head and pulled a potion from her bag. I watched her hand shake as she held the purple bottle up to me.
"It's going to sting a little," she said with one of her smiles to hide her insecure voice. I snapped her hand away with a flick of my tail, forcing her to let go of the object. She remained motionless, staring at her empty palm as if trying to comprehend what had just happened. "Why?" she asked in a plaintive voice.
I had given her a chance, I had believed her, and still...
"Char, Rizardchar," I tried to explain.
I couldn't. I couldn't close my eyes and smile, not for her. If she would stop putting herself in danger, if she could understand how much it scared me to see her hurt, then maybe... I looked at her, the grains of sand flying around her face, almost blurring her features.
"Listen to me."
There was no sandstorm outside, not even the sound of the wind. The desert was quiet. Flannery finished healing my bloody hands, Serena content to watch us from a distance.
"Let's go," the leader encouraged.
The shadow of the Desert Ruins accompanied our departure, following us as the stone building stood still. Serena walked slowly behind me, her feet dragging in the sand, causing hundreds of tiny crackles each time. I stopped and she did the same, keeping several steps between us. I wanted her to understand.
"Char," I murmured.
But she didn't react; I wasn't even sure if she heard me. It was as if the desert had absorbed the sounds so as not to disturb its silent peace. And anyway, even if my voice had reached her, I think... The silence continued, unperturbed, not even the breath of the wind dared to break it. It lasted for a long, long time. And even as the sun began to disappear behind the cliffs in the distance, even as the green grew stronger and stronger as we advanced, the silence of the desert refused to leave us.
I think the sky was lit with thousands of stars when we finally crossed the boundaries of the rock walls. But now there was this icy wind behind me, tormenting me, making me shiver and chatter my teeth. The desert. It kept marching behind me, and somewhere I knew that no matter how much I might scream, tearing at my throat in the hope that my voice would escape the sand, no matter how hard I tried... she wouldn't be able to hear me.
Do you hate me?
I couldn't sleep, lying on the sofa with Charizard sleeping on the floor. The faucet wasn't closed properly, the drops of water falling in a steady rhythm, exploding with a thud against the sink. He hadn't listened to me, he had refused to listen to me. Not surprising after my poor performance against those men. He had become strong, he needed more than a simple coordinator to fulfill himself.
Do you think I'm pathetic?
I heard a small sound, someone running water. Flannery? Or the old lady who welcomed us into her home just outside the desert...
Do I disappoint you?
Charizard's mighty wings covered his muscular body. Even as he slept, the flame at the tip of his tail glowed brightly, threatening to melt anyone who dared disturb his sleep. It was obvious that he needed a trainer to take him to the top. And if I insisted, if I forced him to stay with me, he would only suffer.
Do you still want me?
I wanted to talk to him, I had to talk to him. But my mouth opened and closed quickly without a sound coming out. I didn't even have the courage to broach the subject.
You hate me.
I waited. Unable to sleep, unable to move, unable, unable, unable. You'd be better off without me. "Would be"? Even now I'm hesitating?
I'm pathetic.
The morning. Already? Charizard left the room without waiting for me, without wondering if I was pretending to be asleep. It was better, I wouldn't have found anything to say to him, so he might as well leave while I closed my eyes.
I disappoint you.
The breakfast table. I didn't feel like eating, I didn't feel like anything but going back to bed. But my pokemons were hungry. Minun seemed to be feeling better. Joy was right, I'd been worrying for nothing. Then why hadn't Charizard calmed down? Why was he the only one who was angry?
You don't want me anymore.
"Please excuse me."
I left the kitchen, closing the door that opened the next second, my old friend wouldn't let me go.
"Braix?"
"Minun is feeling better."
"Xen."
"He must be looking forward to his first contest. With Plusle, they always seemed more enthusiastic when we were training than... He always seemed to force himself."
Why did you look so surprised? You must have suspected that it wasn't for him, that I was forcing him to participate in something he wasn't interested in. My dream, my team's dream, this pokemon had never shared. She grabbed my arm and pulled me a few steps, and I knew exactly where she wanted to take me.
"Please, Braixen."
She growled, shaking her head, her eyes filled with concern. As far as I was concerned, she was acting for me, but she didn't think about how he felt.
"Even if I give up being a coordinator to focus on gyms... I need time to improve, to forget that this isn't a contest. I can't ask him to wait for me."
Ears lowered, Braixen let go of my arm. I wish you'd said it: that I was right, that I should let him go now, that you, too, thought it was the best thing to do.
"Braix!" she cried.
You didn't agree, but the fact remained that I was your trainer and it was up to me to teach you what was important.
"Have you thought about what he's feeling right now?"
Fury. For a moment, I thought Braixen was going to use Fire Blast against me. But she turned her head away in indignation, exaggerating her every move as she returned to the kitchen, as if to give me time to regret and catch up. She waited by the door for a while, her claws sliding over the handle without catching it, her tail hair swollen. My friend wasn't so discreet that I didn't notice her head turning toward me or her leg trembling with impatience.
"I'm not changing my mind, Braixen."
She slammed the door. Alone again, with no witnesses, I picked up my tablet and looked at the distance to Fallarbor Town. The date, the hour, the minutes, the seconds, getting there on time... It was too late anyway.
He hates me.
What could I do now? The contest was pointless, apologizing was useless, but...
"One more chance."
My voice was so slow, so flat, so indifferent. That wasn't my emotion...
"One last chance."
Cold, distant, how could he believe me if he heard me.
He hates me.
Huh? A coffee table, a colorful rug, so close... He hates me. The patterns drawn, crisscrossing lines and whimsical flowers sprouting at their ends. The softness under my hands and against my cheek.
"What was that noise?" I heard Flannery shout. I dropped to my knees and looked around the room, at the table my forehead had just missed. I... I had fallen? And... I didn't remember coming here. "Serena... You really look terrible."
The leader sat down beside me. I had to believe her, lately I hadn't been taking care of myself as much as usual. In fact, I didn't really care anymore.
"Am I hurting him?"
Second question, second chance. But even though I knew its importance, my voice didn't tremble, my face remained fixed.
"Of course you are. What you say, what you do, even if you didn't realize it, it wouldn't be an excuse." Her fist clenched as she pulled her legs up against her. Her mouth was close to the blue jeans, her words muffled by the fabric: "Why are you being so stubborn, Serena? When I told you: it's okay with me if you think I don't know anything about him." She stood up and dusted off her long pants, as if the sound had stuck to them. "I'm going to help Mrs. Roc with her chores. Let me know when you want to leave and... don't break anything until then."
I sat on the carpet, following the patterns with my eyes. The vacuum cleaner blowing, the dishes clinking, and then... The old lady put a cup on the coffee table.
"When I saw your Charizard, he immediately reminded me of Flannery's father just before he left on his journey."
"Was he trying to get stronger?"
She leaned forward, tapping the underside of the table with one hand, the other holding her cane tightly.
"He was skinny."
She opened the drawer, revealing a piece of silverware.
"Why..." I muttered.
Solid silver, a richly decorated lid, an elongated body of blue crystal. What secret did this object hold? Could it help me?
"Some sugar with your hot chocolate?"
I blinked at the white powder. Was that all it was?
"Did you think you'd find treasure inside?"
I blushed, it was much too beautiful to be used as a sugar bowl. The old lady was waiting for me to make up my mind, a spoon already stuck in the tiny crystals.
"I don't think Flannery brought you to my house for no reason."
"She didn't come with me for no reason."
At least her efforts would be rewarded. I left the room without touching the drink and found Flannery. As soon as she saw me, she threw the sponge in the bucket and took off her gloves.
"You have something to tell me."
I nodded, and she wiped her hands and motioned me outside. Braixen and my other pokemons hadn't moved from the kitchen since this morning. But as luck would have it, she poked her head out as I passed the door.
"I need to talk to Flannery," I explained.
Ignoring my implication, she motioned for Pancham to wait in the kitchen with the others.
"If you come, it's only to listen," the leader said.
My first pokemon agreed, her hair still bristling, a hint of impatience in her eyes as she took the lead in our ridiculous procession. My shoulder throbbed as we neared the exit.
"Think hard, Serena."
Because that was my last question, wasn't it? But what was the point of thinking, what was the point of making him wait? The sun blinded me and I closed my eyes. The desert, the ochre earth we'd crossed, was there. It was laughing at me, whispering words in my ear that I tried to ignore.
You know that, Serena.
The fire dragon was training. He shattered rocks with his thunderbolts, reduced debris to ash with his flames, until dust reddened the air.
No matter how you spin it, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself it's not true...
"Should I part with him?"
No one answered. Not Flannery, not Braixen, a heavy silence as the sounds of explosions echoed behind me.
You'd already understood by then.
It was up to me. The second I promised you could leave if I wasn't worthy of you. The ochre sand stung my eyes, made me want to cry. My hand against my heart, facing the pokemon with its back to me, I won't come any closer.
And you can't ignore it anymore.
"Be happy with Flannery."
Because Sil had made the right choice.