If Izuku had to give you an example of when he could remember the last time he felt at peace, he was sure it was before he was diagnosed quirkless. Everything just seemed to go downhill from there. How Katsuki had suddenly cut their friendship and became his tormentor. Yet, somehow was not the worst one to ridicule and mock him for being quirkless. The others at the middle school were much worse than Katsuki behind his back and they would threaten him in ways that made his blood run cold.
However, that wasn't the worst.
He remembered how his mother doted on him less and less each day. The amount of contact between the two of them dwindled down to brief glances of each other before school and work. The words between them become static and monotone. There was less scenting, less cuddles, and less affection as time went on. He knew his mother was distancing herself from him because she felt guilty for him being quirkless, and no matter how hard he tried to talk to her and tell her it wasn't her fault and that he just wanted things to go back the way they used to be, the more she would find excuses not to see him. By either taking on more shifts at the hospital, visiting the old age home or sleeping.
He wished she could see how her distance hurt him more than anything else that he was facing, but she just never looked at him long enough to see that. It was as though looking at him caused her shame and she couldn't bear to face it.
This in turn blinded her from the bullying he was subjected to at school. She didn't see how he had bruises riddled all over his body, how his possessions were destroyed, and she didn't see how he was wasting away to become skin and bones because the stress wouldn't allow him to eat.
He didn't want to think of this anymore. He just wanted it to stop, and he thought that it would have stopped by now, but the thoughts were still plaguing him. Relentlessly echoing in his memories to the point of madness. He needed it to stop, he was tired and wanted it to just end, but he wasn't that lucky.
He tried to shake his mind of the ghosts lingering there, but Izuku felt as though he was floating in a thick fog and it was so cold it felt as though he were burning. He had no concept of time nor space, his mind drifting with a flow that felt like thick syrup. He couldn't remember why he was here, just that he was and it was because of something he did. He could neither remember anything before now, he wasn't even sure he had any memories of ending up here.
There was a faint light and he tried to move towards it, looking to find answers, but he couldn't get there. He wanted to reach out and grab the light yet the muscles in his arms wouldn't respond.
"Deku!"
He flinched at the far-away sound, unsure where it came from. He didn't know why he was scared of that voice, but he knew he was. He needed to move, to pull himself away from the source, but it continued to come closer.
"Stupid Deku! Quirkless loser!"
"No, I'm not, I'm not…" He thought to himself.
"Useless! Nobody!"
"No!"
He felt as though the space was closing in on him, but it wasn't darkness. It was a light that closed in on him, so bright that it burned. Somehow, the light was getting brighter as the words got louder. They kept chanting those words in erie monotone voices, getting closer with each moment that passed by, and it would chisel more of his fight away with each syllable. The words grew louder and louder, till it got to the point he couldn't even make out what the words were anymore, although he knew what they said. The light became blinding and he gasped as his eyes finally shot open.
His eyes blinked rapidly against the light, breathing in the sterile smell along with scent diffusers. He closed his eyes to try and stop the dizzying motion inside his skull, the cold air making his nose hurt. He tried to think of where he was and how he got there, but his memory was hazy at best and thinking too hard made him nauseous.
The sound of a door clicking open caught his attention and he shifted his face towards the sound without opening his eyes. A gurgling sound left his throat and he heard someone gasp. "Oh my, you're awake, let me call the doctor." With that he heard the door click again and then there was silence once more.
His mind was drifting somewhere between alertness and the fog it seemed to be stuck in. When he heard the voice say something about a doctor, he had a guess that he might be in the hospital but he couldn't think of a reason as to why he would be there.
The door clicked open once again and this time it was followed by muffled footsteps before a voice spoke up in a gruff tone. "Welcome back Mr Midoriya, glad to see you're finally awake."
This time he forced his eyes to open and the light wasn't as bright anymore so he was able to make out the figure of a man in a white coat with scrubs underneath, his unruly brown hair a shaggy halo, with a kind looking face, and a woman beside him. She looked a lot less friendly and he wasn't sure he wanted to get on her bad side with her sharp face with onyx eyes looking stoic. Even with his vision slightly blurry and his lids crusty, he could see the stark differences in their demeanors.
He didn't say anything in reply to the doctor, waiting for his mind to catch up. The doctor seemed to realize his confusion and stood closer to his side. "I am Dr. Watabe. Do you know why you are here Mr. Midoriya? Do you remember what happened before this?"
He slowly shook his head in answer, unable to get his throat to work. He was unable to make out if the doctor seemed concerned or not, trying to get a read on why he was here.
"Well, it's best if you continue to rest, and once your mother gets here, we will be able to get you all cleared." The doctor reached over and patted his shoulder. "Don't worry, we have the best help here and we will make sure you make a full recovery. I'll be back once the physiatrist and your mother have arrived." With that he turned away and left the room before Izuku could even ask him anything.
There was a sound to the other side of his bed that reminded him the nurse was still in the room. She was busy hooking up a new saline bag to his IV stand after changing the tubes. She still had that stoic face, nothing to show her emotions. Once she was done, she left without a single word.
When the door had closed behind the nurse, he looked out the window and noticed that the sun was quite low in the sky with how dim it seemed. It must be evening time and he could feel his mind start to slowly drift off, even though he had so many questions running through his mind. He could not seem to pinpoint any exact memory of before this, his mind was still murky and diluted with sleep.
His eyes drooped closed and he let himself drift off into sleep, thinking to himself that he could figure out what was going on after he had gotten more sleep.
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When next he awoke, it was to voices in his hospital room. His mind seemed a little less clouded yet he still struggled to form a coherent thought. The chattering grew louder the more awake he became, until he was able to start making out what they were saying.
"...needs to be taken to the facility." That sounded like the doctor he saw the first time he woke up.
"I feel it would be in his best interest if he was admitted to the institution. We cannot allow Mr. Midoriya to relapse and have to land up in the E.R once more." This voice he did not recognise.
"I don't feel comfortable with my son in some institution. I would rather have him under my care and look after him myself." His mother's voice was strained and clipped.
"I understand where you are coming from Mrs. Midoriya, but he would need to have around the clock care which you would not be able to when you are working long hours, especially since your husband is not in the country." That same voice he did not know had not an ounce of feeling in it. As though it was by a machine.
"I would have to agree with Dr. Shishiki on this one. Your son shows signs that this was not his first attempt, what with all the scars on him. It would be best if he was watched over more closely." He finally had a name for the unknown speaker thanks to Dr. Watabe, but he didn't like what he was hearing.
Send him to an institution? What institution? What for? And what did they mean by mentioning his scars?
He heard his mother sigh, defeat heavy in her voice. "Are you sure they will look after him? Will he will get better?"
"I can assure you Ma'am, your son will be in good hands with us. We wouldn't do anything to compromise his well being." Dr. Shishiki replied.
He heard his mother sigh before speaking again. "I guess I don't really have much of a choice, I just hope that I am not making the wrong decision."
"I understand this is a very difficult situation Mrs Midoriya, but I assure you, he will be going to the best care facility and they will do very well to look after him." Dr. Watabe said.
Izuku didn't know what was going on or what exactly they were talking about, but he understood one thing. He was being sent away, and his mother agreed to it.
Did his mother not want him around anymore? Is that why she was sending him with this doctor to some place he didn't know? What did he do to cause such an outcome?
He mulled it over in his mind while still trying to get himself to move, to open his eyes, say anything, but for the life of him, he couldn't. He felt as though he was paralyzed, his senses drowned in syrup and his mind fuzzy. Maybe that's why he didn't feel as upset with the situation as he should have. He needed to clear his head and wake up, so that he could ask what was going on.
The voices around him became softer and further away from him, his mind slowly returning back to sleep, lulling him further.
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When he woke for the nth time, he was able to open his eyes this time. Yet as his vision became more focused, he noticed the ceiling looked different from the last time. It was an off white speckled paneling ceiling. He still felt as though he was stuck in a bog, unable to move his limbs as he desired, but his mind was a little clearer than last time.
"Hey! You're awake!" A voice beside him startled him and he turned his head to see who had spoken.
It was a girl with long pale pink hair and gray eyes, her round cherub face was inquisitive as she tilted her head towards him.
"Whe…" A cough forced its way out his throat, feeling dry and scratchy.
"Here" Suddenly the girl was right next to him holding a cup. She carefully helped him to sit up slightly with one arm while she held the cup to his lips with the other. He started to drink, the cool water soothing his throat. Once he was done drinking, she let him lay back down and set the cup aside.
"Where am I?" His voice rasped.
Her brows furrowed. "You don't know?"
He shook his head.
"You're in Mustafu General Omega Institution. Didn't they tell you anything before coming here? I mean, I know you were asleep when you came here, but I figured they would have told you before." She shrugged her shoulders.
Mustafu General Omega Institution? His mind reeled back with the information. His mother had put him in an institution for Omega's who were unstable. Omega's who went feral or went into drop one too many times. He doesn't remember doing either of those things, but he couldn't be certain as his memories were still befuddled.
"Uh..um…no, they didn't say anything to me." He tried to sit up but his limbs weren't working with him.
The girl quickly leaned forward to help him sit up. "Whoa, careful there, you're probably not used to the medication yet. Makes ya loopy but you'll get used to it eventually."
He accepted her help as his head swam. "Thank you um.." He couldn't recall if she said her name or not.
"I'm Akita." After she had helped him sit up against some pillows she pulled away. "Well we can always go to the ward sister and ask, I'm sure they will be able to clear that up with you."
"Maybe when I don't feel like I'm made of jelly. I'm Izuku." His arms shook as he brought them up to rub at his eyes.
"Nice ta meet ya Izuku. I'll introduce you to the others who share this ward when they come back. There is four of us in here."
He nodded in reply as he took a look around the room for the first time. It was a square room with one door in the middle of the wall to one side and four beds. There were no windows. The beds sat in each corner of the room, each section looking somewhat different from the other. His quarter was like a blank canvas, his sheets white and end table empty. One section's bed was an array of colors, all constructed into a nest in the fashion of a mess, all lumpy and almost looked deconstructed. Another bed looked stark with black sheets, no nest in sight yet there was a pile of blankets behind the single purple pillow. The end table is bare except one photo frame that he couldn't see the Image of. Those two sat opposite of the room from his and the bed next to his on his side was an array of soft yellows and pastel pinks, the nest artfully created with pillows, blankets and plushies.
When Akita noticed Izuku looking at the section next to him she smiled and did the show pose as though to show off the area. "This here is my corner of the room." She clapped her hands and squealed. "If you want, I can help you with yours! We can even get help from the other two? Do you have any decorations that you want to bring over from home? We can talk about it so long while we wait."
His heart dropped thinking of his room back at home. His Hero memorabilia that covered his room from one corner to the other. The thought of bringing it here made his stomach clench uncomfortably.
He wondered if he would be able to at least have his notebooks. He would of course need his stationary supplies. The last notebook he was busy with had unwritten analysis from a previous villain attack and he wanted to write it all down before he forgot…
Suddenly a memory flashed through his mind. Kacchan telling him to off himself. Him walking home in a daze, dropping his notebook before walking into his mothers room, grabbing a pill bottle. Walking to his bathroom and swallowing down everything he could. Laying in the bathtub as his world suddenly went black.
He didn't realize he was crying until he heard Akita gasp. "Oh sweetie, I'm sorry! Did I say something wrong?" She stood closer to him, her hands hovering in front of her, fingers twitching as though she didn't know what to do with them.
He remembered everything now. The memories came back in waves, hitting him harder as each memory flashed over his mind's eye. He ended up doing as Kacchan told him to. He tried to end his life.
He shook his head, a sob tearing from him as he continued to cry.
"Can I hug you? Would that make you feel better?"
He nodded, unable to answer as his throat closed up with the effort to try and quiet his sobbing.
He felt the bed dip when she sat down next to him, pulling her arms around him and cradling his head under her chin. "Aw sweetie. I'm sorry you're hurting. Cry as much as you need to, I'll be right here."
He didn't know why a random stranger was being so nice to him, but he didn't care. He felt as though her touch was a lifeline right now, keeping him anchored from him going into a complete meltdown.
No wonder his mother sent him here. He must have gone into drop and done something unthinkable. His mother is probably very disappointed in him. Probably sent him here because she didn't want a quirkless and useless pup to look after. She had finally had enough of him.
His scent had taken on a bitter and rotten hue, Akita struggling to keep her scent soothing as she rubbed his back while rocking him gently in her arms. "I...I'm so..sorry…" He hiccupped on a sob, his hands gripping onto her shirt with desperation.
Akita softly crooned, shushing him. "Oh honey, you don't need to apologize to me or anyone. I understand you must have gone through something really bad to have ended up here, but here you will heal, and I will be by your side if you want me to. So please don't apologize."
He shook his head, the tears pouring from his eyes. "N…no, it…it was all my fault." His shoulders shook with the strength of his sobs.
"No sweety. I don't know what you went through but I don't think anything is your fault. Things happen. Things we have no control over. Sometimes we do things we don't mean or something happened to us that was out of our control." She pulled her sleeve over her palm and used it to wipe at the tears cascading over his cheeks.
He blinked as he looked up at her. "But…"
"No. No buts sweety, you are not at fault and that's it. I do know that if you ever wish to talk about it, I'm here. I won't be able to fix you or even help you, but I know getting it off your chest can make you feel so much better."
Izuku sniffled, his tears quelling at her words. "You wouldn't want to do that for me if you knew."
Akita's brow lifted at that. "Knew what? You don't know me either. I don't judge what I have no right to judge, so try me."
He hesitated at her declaration. Could he really tell her that he was quirkless? Would her attitude towards him change if she knew? He knew they would all find out if they asked and he didn't want to answer. It's not like he could sink any lower after what he did, but he didn't want to lose the first bit of affection he had received in years. But he did want it to be genuine, so he took a deep breath before speaking. "I'm quirkless."
He waited for her to pull away and begin to shun him. He waited for the disgust to show in her face, for the insults to start coming. However, the look on her face morphed into surprise, then shifted to excited curiosity. "Quirkless! Oh wow! That's super rare! If I remember, I think they said it was like 20% of the population. What's that like? Was it difficult not having a quirk? What does it feel like? I know for me my quirk has always been part of me, but I have always wondered what it would feel like or be like to not have one, ya know? Did it make it easier that you didn't need to use time to train it? Did you have less worry?..."
Izuku sat there with his eyes as wide as saucers, with his mouth hanging open in shock at her reaction. He wasn't sure what to make of it, was she genuinely curious or was she trying to find ways to exploit his weakness. "Um…"
She stopped as quickly as she started. "Oh! I'm so sorry! I've always wanted to know this, but I'm probably overwhelming you with my rattling questions. Let's maybe leave that for later if that's okay with you, but I want to ask one thing. Why did you think I wouldn't want to help you if I knew that?" The smile she previously had on her face was now gone and in its place was worry. Not the 'I feel sorry for you' kind of worry, but the worry that showed genuine care.
He looked down at his hands that were still clasping her shirt and quickly pulled them away to lay upon his lap where his fingers fidgeted. "Well, when I was diagnosed quirkless, everyone started to treat me differently. They became cruel and told me I was useless… Called me a Deku." He didn't want to mention that it was his childhood friend that gave him that mocking nickname. It still hurt too much to think of Katsuki and he wasn't ready to bring that up. "They ridiculed me and that's why I ended up here."
The huff of exasperation she let out caused him to look up at her again and the expression on her face was that of anger and frustration. "I can't believe they did that to you! So what if you're quirkless!? A quirk does not define a person! I mean I know for a fact that there are some quirks out there that are worse than being quirkless! If I could, I would go there and kick all their bums!"
The rant she was having caused the greenette to let out a small giggle.
"Oh! Is that a laugh I hear!?" She quirked a brow with a playful smile as she looked at him, which made him laugh a little louder. "Well it's good to hear you laugh, but I need you to know that I don't care if you have a quirk or not. I like you anyway! You're such a cutie!" She pulled her hands up to his cheeks and pinched them softly, pulling on them. "Just look at these chubby cheeks! I could just eat you up!"
At this point, Izuku was all out laughing, the words of acceptance making his chest swell with happiness. There was finally someone who didn't care for his quirkless status and still liked him. Maybe coming here wasn't such a bad thing after all, maybe it was his new start to a new life. Free of the mockery and abuse he had been going through. It felt like he could finally breathe after drowning for so long. After she let go of his cheeks, she was smiling at him as his laughter died down. "Thank you Akita, you have no idea how much that means to me."
She huffed proudly. "That's what friends are for."
He gasped in shock at her words.
Her smile turned into a frown. "What?"
His words came out in a soft reverent tone. "We're friends?" The hope in his heart felt as though it was about to bloom into spring.
She pulled him into a quick hug before pulling back and giving him a beaming smile. "Definitely! And there is no way you will ever get rid of me now that you are my friend! You're stuck with me for life now."
A new set of tears fell from his eyes this time, accompanied by a wobbly smile. "Thank you."
She took to wiping the new tears away, her sleeve probably soaked at this point. "Don't thank me silly, I am glad we are friends as well." She suddenly perked up! "Oh! That reminds me! We are having peppermint ice-cream for dessert for after supper tonight! I have been waiting for it for a week! We had a game and I won! So I got to choose dessert! Woohoo!"
The door squeaked open, halting his new friend's speech and they both turned around to see two others walk into the room. A tall boy with long sleek black hair, dressed from head to toe in black. His face was pale and he had this typical goth look, but his face was contradictory to his apparel. He had a wide smile and was animatedly chatting with the other person that walked in with them. This person was a short and chubby girl with golden brown hair in a bun atop her head and she was dressed in mismatched clothing items of different types of fashion. Her face had this bored and exhausted look, as though they couldn't be bothered.
Akita was quick to jump up and face the newcomers. "Ah! Banri! Hina! Welcome back! Our new roommate is awake! Come say hi!"
The two looked over to him and he felt his face explode in a rush of pink from embarrassment. They turned and walked over to him and Akita, stopping by the foot of his bed. "Izuku, this is Banri." The goth made a friendly wave at his name. "And this is Hina." The mismatched Omega just tipped their head in response. "And this here is Izuku." Akita looked at him with a smile. "We are gonna have so much fun!" She had her hand clasped together in excitement! "Oh! I forgot!" She leaned over to Izuku's ear to whisper. "Is it okay if they know about you being quirkless? I know they won't really care much, but I still wanted to ask."
When she stood back and watched him with a kind look on her face, he felt as though he could trust her, so he nodded with an apprehensive smile.
"Well, my quirk is 'Ghost Image'. I can basically leave my body whenever I want to and go anywhere I have been before but you can still see me." She turned to Banri and Hina. "Wanna share yours?"
Banri smiled and waved. "As Akita said, I'm Banri and my quirk is 'Shadow Blitz'. I can touch people's shadows and shake them if I want to, which disorients them." He nudged the disgruntled looking Omega standing next to him.
Hina huffed and crossed her arms. "You already heard my name, but my quirk is 'Rooted'. When I use it, I cannot be moved from my spot."
His mind went to his usual analysis mode after hearing of their quirks. His hands itched to write his thoughts in his notebooks and he wanted to ask so many questions, but he had to keep himself back because he didn't have anything with him, causing a pang of homesickness.
Akita rolled her eyes then looked at Izuku. "Don't mind Hina, she's a grumpy pants but is as lethal as a sea sponge." The comment made the brunette growl lowly in her throat. "Wanna take your turn?"
He looked between the group cautiously, taking a deep breath before speaking. "I'm Izuku and I'm quirkless."
The looks on the other two's faces ranged between surprise and confusion.
Hina was the first to say something. "How are you quirkless and an Omega? That's like fucking rare."
Banri quickly butted in with excitement. "That's exactly 0.3% of the world's population! Wow! That's amazing!" He bounded closer to Izuku, almost pushing Akita over in his haste to get to his side. "It's so awesome to meet someone so rare! I hope we can become friends!"
Izuku was startled by the sudden close proximity and leaned back to give more space.
"Oi! You nasty little twit!" Hina had reached forward and gripped the excited Omega by the arm and yanked them back. "Give the dude some space you crazy ass!"
With a swift smack over the back of Banri's head. He quickly bowed while rubbing the sore spot. "Sorry, I forget to curb my enthusiasm sometimes."
The greenette sat there in a shock, not understanding how nobody in the room seemed to have an issue with him being quirkless, and in fact having an interest in it.
"Izuku?" He looked over to Akita at her call. "You okay there hun?"
He nodded slowly, unable to form coherent words at the moment.
Hina tapped Akita on the arm. "Maybe he doesn't feel comfortable yet, I don't see any nesting materials. I'll go grab some of my spares, maybe you two can also contribute until he can get his own." She turned to look at Banri with her eyes squinted in warning. "Don't go overboard with the supplies you dolt, we don't want to overwhelm him."
"That's a brilliant idea!" Akita spun around to her section of the room and began to collect items as the others did the same while Izuku just sat there speechless. They were so willing to accept him and comfort him, without even barely knowing him. His heart swelled with their consideration of him, the tears falling down faster as smiled so wide his cheeks started to hurt.
If this is what it was going to be like in here, then he was glad his mother agreed to let him be admitted.