Everything moved in a blur. Clearing the scene, returning to the safehouse, and healing wounds all happened too fast. Even with the mission complete, there was no real time to relax. Nikita and Sean didn't mind that, though. The rogue would do anything to not think about her torture, and the Seal had no idea what to do since he killed his mother's murderer. It wasn't as though he could talk to his sisters about it; the less they knew about the war the better. But it felt so empty to have the anger that had been fueling him suddenly disappear. There had to be something he could do about it- anything. By the next day, all he could come up with was talking to Alex. She had been in a similar situation, after all, "Hey, Alex. Can… can I ask you a favor?"
"Anything, Sean," Alex flashed a soft smile at her boyfriend, closing the distance between them. She had made him stay at the safehouse with her that night. She didn't pressure him to talk about anything or grieve, just simply be at that moment and process. Too much had occurred in the past couple of days. Sean wasn't the only one who needed a second. Madeline was important to Alex as well. Although she had been a part of the plot to kill her family (a fact she was still trying to swallow) she was the woman who had given her a second chance when she was a junkie runaway. She had also raised an amazing son. Her death hit hard.
Nikita's subsequent kidnap and torture was yet another thing that hit way too hard. The team almost lost her. Alex almost lost the person who had saved her from the dark abyss of secrets and helped her become herself. She needed just as much time to settle as Sean; however, she'd push it all away as he asked for her help. After her mom and Semak and all of that bullshit, she knew how important it was to let people in. Her father had once said that though she had to rely on herself, she also had to be able to trust others. It was advice she wouldn't dismiss again. And it was something she'd help Sean understand, especially when he requested, "Can you come to the cemetery with me? Help me say goodbye to my mom?"
"Of course," Taking his hand gently, Alex let him lead the way. Sean didn't say much on the drive over, so she shared her own stories of Madeline and being her assistant to lighten the tension. He simply continued to hold her hand, squeezing tight. It wasn't until they arrived at the cemetery that he talked to her, to his mother's gravestone, to the world at large. She didn't interrupt him. She gave him the support he needed, until he managed to turn towards her with a grateful smile. Unable to help herself, she nudged him as if to say 'I told you so' for all the times she had told him to actually mourn. He chuckled- the first sign of his joy in a long while.
As the two talked and managed to joke, taking their time before returning to the safehouse, the other couple on the team was struggling to reach the same point. Michael didn't leave Nikita's side all night. He had to ensure that she was alright above all else. Eventually, she got him to leave her alone so they could shower and take care of their injuries; however, he didn't drift far. He waited for her to join him in the livingroom, hoping to finally start talking. She hadn't said a word other than when necessary, and it concerned him. She needed to get out of her head and release those emotions he knew were killing her. She still seemed hesitant to, even as she mumbled, "Michael, I need to talk to you about some of the stuff I said back there."
"Hey, it's okay. You don't have to," Placing down the icepack he held against his bruised ribs, Michael crossed towards Nikita. She fidgeted with her engagement ring and refused to make eye contact with him. Although he stood impossibly close to her, she didn't reach out. She was stock still, afraid to be near him. A part of him wanted to pull away so she could have space. Another part of him wanted to scoop her up in a secure embrace and hold her forever. Instead, he simply paused. He knew what had happened in the basement continued to torment her. He thought it would've been Brandt's torture that held her down, not whatever she had said.
"I didn't mean it," Yet Nikita's voice was tight with tears and regret. She didn't care about the electroshock or having been kidnapped. All that mattered was the pain she must've caused Michael. She had called him names, she refused to accept his love, she considered herself damaged and broken and she lashed out. That had to have stung more than being thrown down the stairs and struck by their captor. But her fiancé shook his head. He didn't care about that. What he had said in response remained true. He knew her, he loved her, and he would be with her forever. Nothing she said could have changed that.
"Yes you did," Michael was soft. Nikita still didn't look at him, but her fidgeting had ceased. She continued to see herself as that monster she mentioned in the basement. That image of herself wasn't something born during her torture with Brandt. It was a long time forming, potentially since she was a lost and abused child in foster care. He needed to erase that image from her mind. She wasn't evil, or monstrous, or terrible. He had no doubt about it. The things she had done for Division were nothing compared to the things she had done to save others. Michael, Alex, their whole team really, wouldn't have been alive had it not been for her heroics.
"I said some unforgivable things," Tears in her eyes, Nikita whispered. It was going to take a lot more than soft words from her fiancé to snap her out of those thoughts. Considering they were decades in the making, he didn't expect it to be easy. Michael was willing to put in the hard work. He'd do anything for her- of course that would include teaching her to see herself the way that he saw her. He didn't agree to fight Division, to run away with her, to marry her because she was just some girl. She was everything. She couldn't see that then, but she would. He'd make sure of that as though it was his sole purpose on Earth.
"Yeah. But you had to. I know it's not because you don't love me. It's because you don't love yourself," Gently, Michael wiped away the tears that fell down her cheeks. Nikita canted into his touch, trying to fight the urge to cry. Her fiancé was just so tender with her that it was beyond difficult. She wanted to melt away, let all her harsh feelings consume her. Yet he held her afloat. She would never drown, not with him so close to her and ever so willing to fight for her. He finally got her to look him in the eyes as he softly caressed her skin. His words captivated her, held her on solid ground, "But that's okay. I'm willing to teach you."
The way he looked at her, full of hope, love, and promise, made her brush her forehead against his. He rubbed her nose with his, and their lips touched. The kiss was slow at first, hesitant even. But soon, the full passion of the affection enveloped Michael and Nikita. They kissed and held onto one another tightly, the world melting away. They didn't need to be focused on anyone else, just themselves. And that was how Birkhoff found them when he walked into the room. Normally, he would've been annoyed at the engaged couple's PDA. But after what they had experienced, they deserved it. At least for a small moment, "Do you really have to do that in the livingroom? This is a common area. No public displays of affection."
"We really need a bigger safehouse," Michael muttered against Nikita's lips as they parted. She laughed softly, her forehead pressed against his. The two had to separate and address Birkhoff, or else his taunting would become a whole lot worse. Yet that was the first expression of joy she had had in a long while. He wanted to revel in it for a moment. In fact, he wanted to hear more of it. He wanted her to laugh uproariously and freely while smiling as brightly as the sun like he knew she could. He'd have to wait until later, which only made it that much more torturous. Honestly, he'd kill for them to have a solid moment alone together.
"You know, Nerd. We're actually not this affectionate in private. We save it for when we know you're going to walk by," Although she turned to face Birkhoff, Nikita kept Michael's arms wrapped around her as if to sell her point. Both men rolled their eyes at her and she smirked. Despite the fact that she was obviously lying, it was great to know that she was settling back into her typical self. The brief talk with Michael and that heart racing kiss seemed to battle back the demons that continued to torment her. She could push forward and be ready for more, whatever fresh hell that meant for the team.
"Told you she'd bounce back the next day. You feeling good, Nikki? Ready to kick some ass?" Ryan joined in on the craziness, clapping Birkhoff playfully on the shoulder. As much as the team needed to relax after the loss and torment they had just experienced, their enemies wouldn't allow them the opportunity. Percy had just received nuclear material from Brandt. What exactly he planned on doing with that, the team had no idea. The bastard had wanted plutonium for a while. So whatever it was, it was going to be big and nasty- possibly worse than his attack on the CIA. They had to be prepared for the worst.
"Yes. Let's go get Percy," Nikita nearly bounced on her toes, she was so full of determination. Taking out Percy for good that time was the last thing the team had to do in their war. Their pardons might have been scrapped with Senator Pierce dead, yet that was a problem they'd have to solve later. The main focus should be on killing Percy and destroying Division. Gogol, Oversight, Amanda, Guardians, and the black boxes were all gone. There was nothing to get in their way of setting their enemy aflame, as long as they got to him before he put his plan into action. That slimy cockroach would do anything to survive and escape punishment.
"Here. Alex grabbed Brandt's Division burner cell when you guys torched the place. I can't do anything with it. But you can taunt Percy. Maybe get him so annoyed he tells you what he's planning," Tossing the untraceable cell to Nikita, Birkhoff gave her a way to start kicking ass immediately. She was so excited she sprang from Michael's arms, grabbed the first coat she could find, and ran out to the beach to place the call. Her fiancé stared after her, trying to connect the dots of her actions. Why she had to go outside to taunt Percy, he had no idea. Maybe it was so she could think. Regardless, he didn't like that she wasn't in his arms anymore.
Birkhoff and Ryan just laughed. Nikita's mind jumps and reasons for doing things never made any sense. The two thought it was bad when she was a recruit and a Division agent. But as a rogue, her mind and ideas were truly on another level. They could never say she wasn't effective, however. Her scheming (and taunting) had helped them get that far in their fight. She could continue clawing under Percy's skin and hitting him where it hurt most. Ryan was sure of it, "She is good at that."
"Whatever. Just leave us alone at some point so we can have a sort of date night, or even just a moment where it's only us two," Rolling his eyes, Michael requested. He and Nikita weren't done talking. They had a lot of things to discuss, and he'd prefer to do that in private. He also still wanted to hear more of her laughter and to see her smile. She could do that around their friends, but it meant more when it was simply the two of them. And with recent horrible events still in mind, they needed something special like that.
"Why? You gonna have 'we almost died' sex instead of being with your friends?" Birkhoff assumed at least a part of that something special. It earned him a chuckle from Ryan and an annoyed glare from Michael, yet he didn't back down from his statement. If he had to live with not one, but two sets of couples, then he was allowed to make fun of them. He thought the engaged couple was bad enough. But the starting a relationship after years of friendship couple was just as bad. The war had to end soon. They seriously had to have their own spaces.
"That is the best kind of sex," Entering the safehouse, Alex chimed in. She had no idea what the men were talking about, and she kind of didn't want to know; however, it was still fun proving Birkhoff wrong. Michael pointed at her and shrugged like she had made the argument for him. Ryan laughed harder, and it was the nerd's turn to glare in annoyance. Sean was a few steps behind Alex, so he was even more confused than she was. He glanced around the room for any answers, but found none.
"How come I always walk in on the weirdest things happening?" Sean wasn't wrong. He had stumbled into many strange things occurring on the team. Some of that was his fault, like when he took a shot at Nikita. Yet moments like that one, he was simply lost. And no one was willing to catch him up. The conversation wasn't that important anyway. Birkhoff and Ryan agreed to leave Michael and Nikita alone later. Honestly, the former analyst didn't even have to ask. Once the door to their room was closed that night, no one would go near it.
"That doesn't go away," Ryan admitted with a shrug. He had been involved with the rogues for years, yet even he had no idea what was happening a lot of the time. That just made Sean chuckle, and the rest of the team followed suit. They had to agree to their own ridiculousness. They might have come off as insane, yet it gave them instances like that one where they could laugh and relax and forget about whatever their next dangerous mission was. It was like a reset point. They didn't have to be so stressed all the time, so on edge.
Chances to breathe was possibly what kept the team alive just as much as their skills did. They were all too aware of how dangerous their own stress was. So to relieve that in even the most ridiculous or smallest ways was beyond beneficial. Soon, Nikita reentered the beach house and threw the burner back at Birkhoff. Her taunting was complete, and she was very proud of herself for it. She couldn't help but beam, "Well, Percy is sufficiently rattled and will probably put a hold on his active missions for a bit. You guys wanna watch a movie in the meantime?"
"As long as there's no action or drama, I think we're okay," Instantly, Alex agreed. Although Michael (and Sean) had had other ideas in mind, it was put off to follow the team to the couch for continued jokes and laughter. The mindless comedy movie that was played ended up not mattering. The friends were far more focused on their chance to be just that- friends. Their missions and world saving adventures would just have to catch up with them afterwards. For the meantime, they'd laugh and breathe and relax for the first time in what felt like a long time.