Clumsy at Love
Chapter 22: Hurts like hell
Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½
0 ~ 0 ~ 0
After learning from Kodachi what had happened to Akane when he left seven years ago, Kodachi then introduces him to a friend who knew Akane while working at the Shangri-La.
"She started at her job just fine until one of the leaders of your previous fans club had slandered her, and then the girls at the office made her an outcast…"
What he had heard had left him speechless, utterly angry, and utterly dismayed with what happened, and most of all with himself.
In that same year, he enjoyed his fame and freedom, but here she was, forced to quit her job and isolate herself at home.
God, the answers that he's been itching to know were just so sad, infuriating, and more terrible than he could imagine.
He finally understood why she isolated herself from the world. And she got all the right in the world to continue hating on him even though it's been ages ago, and even if it takes forever.
"Forever…" he sighed. He could now stop dreaming of earning the forgiveness he had been longing for all this time, the one that he had worked so hard all these years to attain.
Why does it hurt like hell?
0 ~ 0 ~ 0
Ranma arrived home later than usual and found out that his wife Akane hasn't come home either.
He was putting his cellphone out of his pocket when the door opened and revealed flushed Akane.
"Why are you so late?" he asked.
"Get out of my way." she slurred while pushing him out of the way.
"Are you drunk?" he asked out of concern.
Akane turned on him, glaring. "So what if I'm drunk? Why do you care? What? Are you gonna fire me many more questions? Questions, you of all people, had no right to ask."
And then it dawned on him... if Akane became a kicked-out student, then obviously universities would not accept her, making it impossible for her to turn her dreams into reality, and he had the guts to ask her directly WHY?
He's detestable. He truly is.
"I'm sorry." He chokes out.
"Sorry? What are you being sorry about? You don't know anything! You f*cking, insensitive, selfish man!" She screamed, frustratingly.
He then took long strides forward and pulled her into his arms.
"What do you think you're doing?" she cried while trying to break free from his hold, but he held her even tighter.
"Let me go, you idiot," she protested once more before finally stop resisting and leaning heavily against his body. His body stiffened automatically, feeling her warm, sweet-smelling body against him.
"Akane," he breathes out, restraining himself from doing things he shouldn't do.
"What?" she barked but sounded more like a purr to him and made him smile despite being heartsick.
"Akane," he whispered so softly, tucking her head underneath his chin and closing his eyes. "I'm really, really sorry... Promise, I wouldn't ask any more questions from now on."
"You, stupid, stupid Ranma…" and then she broke down and cried with all she might.
0 ~ 0 ~ 0
Akane woke up with her head aching so badly.
She was about to get up to pee and remembered what had happened last night.
Ranma... He ~ he embraced her!
Last night, she wasn't too drunk to completely forget it. Actually, she could vividly remember the itty, teeny details of what had taken place.
Why did he do that? What's wrong with him? He even said he was sorry. Why? What happened?
Her biggest problem is… she leaned to him, on his warm, sweet-smelling body. And then cried on his chest till she passed out!
Ugh! Why did I do that?
It's because she's drunk.
Right! The alcohol had made her all weak and vulnerable and stupid, if she might add. He should blame the alcohol for everything that took place last night. She thought, nodding to herself.
She made sure that Ranma wasn't around before finally sitting up.
And then a picture of them hugging flashes to her mind making her gasp and blush at the same time.
She's never been hugged like that before nor been close to any man.
But Ranma's warmth was so nice and comforting, and just remembering it made her want for more, needing for more. She immediately shook her head, trying to shake off those most unwelcomed thoughts.
0 ~ 0 ~ 0
Tick, tock, tick, tock... Akane can't help but stare at the wall clock in front of her. It strikes a minute past midnight, but still no sign of Ranma coming home.
Where is he? Why isn't he home yet? She thought silently. Why do these questions keep on replaying her head these days?
Ah, it's because she hardly sees him home these days… ever since that incident.
It's already been a week passed that whenever she wakes up in the morning, he's already gone to the office. During the evenings, he comes home very late. And this weekend, he excused himself by going out of town. She only met him at the office where he treated her so coldly.
Why? What happened? What did she do so wrong? Did she hurt him by her words when she's drunk? Or offended him by the fact that they've embraced? Did he hate their contact that much? Was that how horrible she was?
She looked out at the empty dark blue sky and heaved a heavy sigh as she fought back the tears from her eyes that were about to fall.
No, she's not gonna cry.
Then she heard the sound of the main door opening and closing. Her instinct urges her to run and lie down on the bed. Her heart is beating wildly as the bedroom door opens and then closes.
She listened to the soft sound of the footsteps and where they went around the room and confirmed to herself that it was Ranma. She let out a sigh of relief, closed her eyes, and then finally fell asleep.
0 ~ 0 ~ 0
Monday morning.
"I'm going back to work on Thursday after securing a fit to work certificate from the company doctor." Said Kaori Daikoku, his secretary.
"What? Why? You don't need to rush yourself. I think you should rest more."
"But I heard that you've got me a substitute!" The gorgeous girl complained.
Suddenly the door opened, revealing his substitute secretary.
"Ran ~ I mean, Sir..."
"Akane?! Akane Tendo?"
Akane's attention was immediately caught by the drop-dead gorgeous lady standing beside Ranma, and her heart dropped as well.
"K~ Kaori..." She stuttered.
"You know her? You knew each other?" Asked Ranma, looking back and forth between the two ladies.
Kaori Daikoku.
How could she forget this person in front of her? The very reason why she was kicked out of school. Why she lost her chance making it into her dream university. And why she will never be able to do what she wants most in her life!
"Akane?" Ranma called out worriedly. He was already standing in front of her when she finally noticed him. "Are you okay? You looked pale. Come, I'll bring you to the clinic." He said, taking her by the arm and pulling her out of the office, but her eyes still fixated on the equally stunned girl.
0 ~ 0 ~ 0
"How are you feeling? Are you hurt? Feeling any pain? God, you're so pale, and your hands are freezing. Do you want me to take you to the emergency room instead?"
"No need." She replied weakly, finally hearing Ranma's voice. "Clinic is fine."
"Maybe it's over fatigue... Don't you think it's over fatigue? Maybe I've given you so much work than your body could take. I should have given your work history consideration." He muttered though it sounded like he was talking to himself.
"This way..." He felt his hold tighten as he stirred her into the last room, the east wing of the floor they occupied.
As soon as Ranma settled her on the bed, he searched the area for the company doctor or nurse.
"Where the hell are the staffs here?" He muttered irritatedly when he couldn't find one.
"Ranma..." she called.
"Hmm?"
"I think I'm okay now."
"How do you know? You're still pale... And cold." He said, touching her forehead.
"I think I should know how I am feeling. It's my own body." She retorted.
"Are you sure?" He asked, doubting her judgment.
She nods in return.
"Do you want me to bring you to Dr. Tofu?" He then asked.
She looked up, and she could tell that there was an inside joke with what he had just said.
"Dr. Tofu?" She repeated when she couldn't comprehend what. To her annoyance, he started laughing.
"I'm sorry... I just remembered how you used to fake sickness and injury to make your father or Kasumi bring you to the poor doctor's clinic." He said, then laughed.
Akane was too surprised to see him laugh. Seriously, he's been down all week, like somebody died.
Actually, this is the first time after a week that he talked casually to her.
"Well, that's true." The memory made her smile as well. "But... What?! I wasn't faking my injury all the time. I've really twisted my ankle multiple times before and mostly caught light sprains because of someone."
"He was your first love, wasn't he?" He suddenly asked, catching her off guard.
"Rest here. I'll get Mr. Yama to take you home," he added promptly before she could give him an answer.
Then he left.
0 ~ 0 ~ 0
"What do you think you're doing?"
Akane almost broke the plate she was holding to see Ranma home with the sun still up.
"You're early." She couldn't help commenting.
"How do you feel?"
"Hungry?" She replied uncertainly. Is he sick?
Ranma heaved a sigh then walked towards her, making her stumble backward.
"W~what?" She stuttered, leaning away as what happened between them a week ago started playing in her head.
Ranma gave her an exasperated look, then feel her forehead. "I got you real food." He said then. "You don't have to come to the office tomorrow."
"Uhm, about that... since your secretary is returning. I'm quitting... starting tomorrow."
"She will not come back until Thursday. And you don't have to quit. I could have you both so none of you would get sick."
She shook her head. "No, I'm not coming back. Not ever. Not at all." She croaked.
"Akane..." he breathes, then pauses for what it felt like forever.
But she patiently waited for what he was about to say with those tired, gloomy blue eyes staring back at her.
"You should eat." He said as he looked down. "And please rest well." He added and then left.
She puts down the plate she was holding and holds on tightly to her stammering heart.
0 ~ 0 ~ 0
Ranma removed his tie and sat down at the edge of the bed. He held on to his throbbing head with Akane's childish tantrums, and innocent expression hung heavy on his mind.
His entirety felt worse than any of the tiring days of his life, with his guilty conscience actively eating him alive. These days, he couldn't stay long in the same room with her without feeling guilty. He couldn't afford to look her in the eye without feeling ashamed of himself.
Every time he sees her, he feels the strong need to admit that he was wrong… and tell her exactly how he feels and what's going on. But he doubts that he could ever find his voice when that time comes when he doesn't even know if he had the guts to do so.
He also knew deep down inside that sooner or later he had to come up with a decision… and a plan on how to get out of her life. Even if he wanted to keep her by his side, he couldn't do that anymore. It would be so wrong, so selfish of him… now that he knows how being with him is so hard for her, so cruel to her.
But I couldn't leave her just like that… his subconscious mind argued.
"Oh, God, what can I do to help her? What she was today was all my fault. It was all my fault." He uttered helplessly.
Akane stopped dead on her track hearing what Ranma had said.